The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s01e10 Episode Script

Captain Underpants and the Flustering Mindless Woe of the Flushable Memory Wip

1 [both chuckling] [narrator] This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
-Remember that now.
-He's got porcelain armor and a score to settle.
You have it? -Almost! -Do you have it? -Yes! -Show me! Dun-dun-dun-dun! -Colonel Urinal! -Yes! [laughs] -I love you, Colonel Urinal.
-[bell rings] [squishes] Hey, George, is your butt wet? [George] Oh, no.
We sat in chocolate pudding.
This is not good, not good.
Let's get out of here before anyone -[bird caws] -[all laughing] Guys, Ted Turdsly! George and Harold are the new Ted Turdslys! [both] No! So George and Harold make comic books But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to -Blah, blah, blah, blah.
- So they got a hypno-ring And first, they made him dance Then, accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet You're back where you began Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-la! I can't believe we're the new Ted Turdslys.
Our lives are over.
[narrator] Who or what is "Ted Turdsly"? It's the humiliating nickname given any kid at Jerome Horwitz who gets pudding on their pants.
No one knows how it began, but everyone knows it's a death sentence, without death.
Even Principal Krupp gleefully joined in.
I understand we have a new Ted Turdsly.
I demand you identify the Ted Turdsly.
[murmuring] Oh.
[laughs] Let me get a picture! -I mean, that's just -So wrong -Can't even -Yeah.
Let me get [laughs] -Look at your pants! -[camera shutter clicks] -I don't want that humiliation.
-We gotta get out of town.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
We don't care what people think about us.
Yeah, you're right.
You know what? Let's get out there and own this.
We'll be Ted Turdsly with capital Ts.
Right after we wash our pants -and deny it ever happened.
[car engine revving] [tires screeching] [narrator] This is Theodore Murdsly, the school's lavatory salesman.
He sells things like soap, urinal cakes, and, of course, toilet paper.
Hear about George and Harold? I wouldn't trade places with them for 100 gold doubloons and a dragon slayer sword of ice.
Did I invite you to speak, bit player? Begone! But they're the new Ted Turdslys.
[snarls] Mmm.
Ah, chili.
I hear you've-- [chomping, grunting] [stomach rumbling] I hear you've suspended all toilet paper deliveries.
-[burps] -Any reason? [narrator] A very good reason.
Krupp blew the school's annual toilet paper budget trying to impress Ms.
Yewh, remember? We're BYOTP now.
Or whatever is handy.
Wake up! You're in over your head.
-Why? -It's Chili Wednesday.
This is our new line of flushable wipes.
They're a real game changer.
Sounds expensive.
Hard pass.
-Incredibly absorbent.
-No dice! -They're free! -Nothing in life's free.
Case closed! [stomach rumbling] Uh You'll excuse me.
[panting] Open, open, open! [grunts] Make way! Why won't this pudding come out? [grunts] Hold it still.
Went better in my head.
There's gotta be something down here we can wear.
Uh, come on.
Bingo! Jackpot! X marks the spot! -I found a book of clichés.
-Hey! Old unicorns? Back in my day "Uniforms," buddy.
" Don't think there's any other way to say this.
We look amazing.
Like mavericks who never sat in pudding.
That's right.
We're cool.
-Not Ted Turdsly.
-Deal with it.
Hey, Gooch, must've heard wrong.
No Ted Turdslys here.
Who are you guys? I'm just gonna keep walking and not wait for an answer to that 'cause I'm confused.
Guess he can't handle how comfortable we are in our own skin.
Don't even try it, Melvin.
We're cool and we are loving it.
-Melvin? Who? Mel-- Mel-who? -Whoa.
It's like they don't remember anything.
Like Like they lost their memory.
[Jessica] "You are kind, generous and thoughtful.
" Okay.
I'm Kind, you're Generous and you're Thoughtful.
Cool names.
Cha! [gasps] "Join the whale wishers.
" Okay.
Let's go save the whales.
Everyone has lost their memory.
Like that movie, Everyone's Lost Their Memory.
[movie narrator] A world where everyone's lost their memory -Huh? -What? -I love that.
-[Krupp] You two! Krupp will remember.
His dislike for us burns eternal, like the sun.
I've got one question for you! Do you know who I am? Because I can't remember a thing.
You thinking what I'm thinking? We should find out what's going and help our friends get their memory back? -The other thing.
-Oh, yeah, that's way better.
They started anew They're back at square one They got a fresh start And they're having some fun - Fresh start - They can do what they want - Fresh start - They could eat a croissant They can swing for the fences With no consequences Fresh start [narrator] Fresh Start is filmed before a live studio audience.
This is Principal Murdsly.
Everyone report to the gym, immediately, for the cool principal appreciation assembly.
-Principal Murdsly? Who's that? -That name is so familiar.
[clears throat] Mic check.
Mic check.
I am Mr.
Murdsly, your principal.
I have always been your principal.
Now repeat after me.
-I am the -[microphone feedback] Uh, what is What is that? [grunting, clears throat] I am the [grunts] I am the coolest principal, and no one makes fun of me ever! [all] You're the coolest principal, and no one makes fun of you ever.
Ah, [stammers] yes, yes.
Good, good.
I'm also the [grunts] Come on! -This day keeps getting stranger.
-I just wanna see what happens next.
-Anyway, I'm also -[microphone feedback] Oh, you got to be-- You know what? We'll just sing! Follow along! Mr.
Murdsly is the coolest He's the greatest guy we know He's smart, he's funny, he's popular You know what? He's He's brainwashing everybody.
-Not good.
-We gotta stop this.
-You're not our principal! -Yeah, you're a stranger who writes catchy songs! Of course I'm your principal.
How absurd! Ha-ha-ha! Students! Do what we always do with traitors.
-What's that? -Seize them! Check, please.
[clamoring] Sir, I don't know who I am, but I am intuitively drawn to your somewhat evil power.
-I want to help.
-As you wish Melvin.
Yes, you're definitely a Melvin.
That name fits me like a latex glove.
I can't believe it! That everyone lost their memory and we have a weird new principal? No, that we had a drama program.
If the school still had one, we'd be famous actors by now.
Winning this Thumbs-Uppy Award for Fresh Start is an honor.
It was a passion project that Harold and I-- Mom, I love you so much.
This Thumbs-Uppy Award is for you.
-We gotta find out what Murdsly's up to.
-[Gooch] Come on! This way! [elephant brays] But everyone's after us.
We'll go undercover.
Easy, everyone, there's plenty of Murdsly for all.
[George] Now just act natural and blend in.
[Murdsly] You like me so much because I'm telling you.
Why does Murdsly care if a bunch of kids think he's cool? So desperate to be liked.
Maybe something traumatic happened when he was a kid so he's replacing negative childhood associations with positive experiences.
Sorry, my mom watches Doctor Blame.
I'm Doctor Blame, and it's all your fault and you should be ashamed.
Your mom.
Anyway, we gotta find out what this guy's deal is.
For me? You shouldn't have, Melvin.
"World's Coolest Principal.
" This is so much better than when I went here.
[repeating] than when I went to school here.
[both] "When I went here?" [both repeating] "When I went to school here?" Murdsly went to our school! [narrator] Oh, Jessica's in this episode.
Generous, Thoughtful, I know this seems crazy dangerous, but it's also crazy important for the whales.
So let's get in that tiny raft, form a human shield and save the whales! -Yah! -[splashes] If Murdsly went to school here, he's gotta be in one of these old yearbooks.
I got it! Theodore Murdsly.
Feels shady.
What do you think happened? Murdsly's student file.
"Band Concert '99.
Murdsly Incident.
" Huh.
Whatever happened to him must be on this whatever this is.
The ancients used to use these to watch workouts.
-Whoa! How do we turn it on? -I think you just Hmm.
And then, we press "Play.
" [kid 1] Hey! Ted Murdsly sat in pudding! We should call him Ted Turdsly! Ted Turdsly! [kids] Ted Turdsly! Ted Turdsly! [gasps] Theodore Murdsly is Ted Turdsly.
Murdsly is the original Turdsly! And he's brainwashed the school to think he's awesome.
-Do something.
-So we do what we always do.
They started anew No, not that! We're gonna make a comic so everyone knows the truth.
[comic narrator] One time, this kid named Ted Murdsly sat in pudding.
Sat! All the kids called him Ted Turdsly 'cause it looked like he pooped his pants.
Also 'cause it rhymed, and life is cruel sometimes.
Sad but true.
Ted got really mad and stayed mad for like 20 years.
Yeah, that is a long time.
Then he came back to get revenge 'cause that's a dish better served cold, like gazpacho soup and ice cream.
He played his special evil glockenspiel so loud.
" And wiped everyone's memory so they would forget about Ted Turdsly.
Oh, it's so loud.
Then he made himself the principal and told everyone he was cool, like a champion jet skier or whatever like trophy winner.
Since everybody's brains were empty they were all, "If you say so, bro.
" Then Ted made them build a water park that only he could use.
Wow, it was bad! Luckily, Captain Underpants showed up, and was like, "Not cool! I like slides!" So Ted played his glock.
" So loud.
And then wiped Captain Underpants' memory and made him forget he had powers.
"What? Me? Powers?" But Captain Underpants also forgot that he couldn't play the glockenspiel.
So he tried it.
Like, "Oh, maybe yes.
" He played it backwards, like "Gnalf-gnit-gnib-gnib-nab-doy!" And it made memories start to come back.
"Oh, I partially remember something.
" Then, Captain Underpants put Ted in undy-cuffs, and he muffled the glockenspiel mind-eraser forever with underwear just jammed in there.
Just, like, so many pairs.
All you heard was cold silence like this.
Like that.
And then he went on the slide, like, 87 times.
"Whoa!" Until everyone's memory finally came back and they talked about old times.
The end.
Once everyone finds out Murdsly is Turdsly, they'll turn on him.
It's time we all had a little chat.
You got me.
You got me! Yes, I am the original Ted Turdsly.
But no longer, thanks to my flushable memory wipes.
Memory wipes! But how did you get everyone to wipe? Chili Wednesday! You fiend! But why now? I mean, the kids that made fun of you are all grown up.
Because you kids are using that awful name! I don't wanna hear anyone say "Ted Turdsly" again! The wipes took longer to make than I thought.
-Makes sense.
-Can't rush science.
But now that I'm principal, I will be respected, not ridiculed.
Ted Turdsly? Ted Turdsly? Ho-ho! No more Ted Turdsly! I never wanna hear "Ted Turdsly" ever again! -Then why do you keep saying it? -Really.
Your own worst enemy.
Melvin! Wipe them! -[evil laughs] -[both yell] Wait! [dings] This says I'm supposed to do that if you are here.
-Aw, man! -Now wipe them clean! [both] No! -I've lost my memory.
-I've lost my memory, too.
See you around, stranger.
Hey, amigos! Got a package for ya.
How do you know who we are? We don't even know who we are.
Yeah, you said you'd say that.
Good luck! "If you want your memory back, follow the clues.
" Huh, I don't normally go on road trips with strangers.
-How do you know? -I don't know.
Let's go.
[rat squeaking] -[growls] -[both scream] [Harold] Okay, which locker? -I don't know.
Maybe there's a sign.
-Like that one? [both laughing] [Harold over speaker] We farted on your lunch.
[locker] Voice command accepted.
Whoa! Locker magic! "Open in case of memory loss.
" Cool title! [chuckles] "This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
" Hey, that's us! -George, I remember everything! -Me, too, Harold! I can't believe we knew we were gonna lose our memory and set up that path of clues.
And that reading that comic would bring it back.
What are the odds? [narrator] It's a stretch.
Now let's get Krupp, and then turn him into Captain Underpants.
Where can we find him? It's Chili Wednesday, so I have a pretty good idea.
Tra-la-la-- Uh Tra-la Huh? Wait.
Who am I? -Who are you? -Yes? -You're -My henchman! Yes, my henchman! -Okay! -Wait, no! And you do everything I say.
So get them! I will get them.
You're our friend.
-Captain Underpants? Sorry.
He talked first.
I'll just add this to the rest of your insubordinate comic books.
Gentlemen, immobilize them.
Nice spinny hoops.
Can I have a turn? They're not spinny hoops, you low-hanging fruit.
It's a sophisticated containment device.
I call it the Ring-Wrong 2000.
Even without his memory, Melvin's lame.
Whatever you do, don't let these two out of your sight.
What two? You two? Sir, I don't think you should put all your eggs in that idiotic basket.
Fortunately, I've been working on another invention that will make you invincible.
That works.
Show me.
What now? Now we get Captain Underpants to read the comic that restored our memory to restore his memory.
Worth a shot.
Wait, can he read? [inhales, chomps] [burps] Don't worry, I've got an idea.
Hey, can we have some water? Okey-dokey, artichokey! Whee! Hey! I'm supposed to be who? Okay, mystery man, you're a secret agent on a very important mission -to steal the secret plans.
-Yeah, I am! [in Italian accent] I got pizza pie for delivery.
[without accent] I can probably lose the accent.
[grunting] A-ha! [groans] Ha-ha.
Target acquired.
Mission accomplished! Not yet.
Tra-la-lockdown! You're not going anywhere, so no funny business.
Just read that comic on top.
-You got it! "The end.
" -"The end.
" -We should've just read it.
He's never gonna remember.
Of course I remember, George and Harold.
We're old Navy buddies.
-Close enough.
-Captain Underpants, you're back! Oh, if you say so! Ooh, spinny hoops! -Can you get us out of here? -Oh, right.
Whoa! [grunting] Hurry! These spinny hoops are stronger than normal spinny hoops! Whoa! [yells] Okay, time to hand out comics and spread some Turdsly truth.
Bring it.
Let's do this thing.
It's showtime! -Do you have my cliché book? -Yeah.
We're not going anywhere.
This whale is our friend.
His name is Pirate Mike.
[Jessica] So ch-yah! [narrator] Oh, Jessica was in this.
Everybody, read up on the truth! This is definitely gonna work.
[kids screaming] Not gonna work.
I am invincible! -Why didn't you make this bigger? -I'm quite comfortable.
[Murdsly] Drop those at once! Whatever you say Ted Turdsly.
-Gooch is getting his memory back! -You can forget about that.
My mind is a blank.
I don't know who I am.
Also, I'm kinda hungry.
See? You're invincible, thanks to my ShamNesia 2000.
You all hail me 'cause I'm awesome.
This is exciting! -What? -That's your cue, man! Oh, yeah! I'm on it! [narrator] span style="style1"/The incredibly graphic violence chapter presented in Memory Match-O-Rama.
The following is too violent, so we're presenting it as a game of memory match.
Ooh, I love these.
Head butt and spaghetti dinner.
Mismatch! Elbow drop and circus fun.
Mismatch! Savage uppercut and savage uppercut.
Match! [grunts] Oh, no! I got mud on my butt! How embarrassing! Embarrassing? That's it! We need to embarrass that bad guy out of here.
Got an errand for ya! I'm in.
I love busy work! [narrator] So Captain Underpants got all the pudding that the local Puddin' on the Lips store had to offer and even got them to punch his Puddin' Pal card.
Tra-la-licious! I dunno why, but seeing those two cower in fear makes me giddy.
I'll wipe your brains so clean, you'll be able to eat off of them! -[both] Ew! -You wanna wipe them, you'll have to wipe me first! [both] Ew! This will be quick.
You're a dummy.
Ha! No argument here.
Double undie-whip! Wa-pap! Wa-pap! I'm doing my own sound effects! Wa-pap! Beep, beep! That's a horn! Wa-pap! Wa-pap! [Melvin whimpers, yells] Aah! I can't see! Lights! You'll pay for that! Hello? Anybody out there? Guys, look, it's Ted Turdsly.
He's Ted Turdsly! [all laughing] -[kids] Ted Turdsly! Ted Turdsly! -[crying] Anything but that! I can't take it! I'm leaving! But I will be back to wipe you once and for all! [kids] Ew! 'Cause I'm vindictive! [laughs] -Goodbye! -Wait, not the eject button! I haven't tested it! -Told you.
-I'm too upset to listen.
Murdsly yells] The button worked just fine! [narrator] Back at the school, George and Harold reversed the wipers, restoring everyone's memory.
Yay! I remember everything! Even the things I don't wanna.
And I I remember that you two are the new Ted Turdsly! No, they're not.
You're Ted Turdsly! [all laughing] Stop it! I am not Ted Turdsly! -Better him than us.
Or maybe Murdsly was right.
Yeah, I said it.
This vicious circle will last forever.
Unless we stop it, now.
You're right.
And stop watching Doctor Blame.
[Blame] You should Guys, guys! Everybody! This has got to stop.
We can't be making fun of people like this.
Do you want to be like Mr.
Murdsly? And sell toilet paper? I mean haunted by unfairness and by being mocked.
We're better than that, and I say we stop this now.
No more Ted Turdsly! Ah! Liquid refreshment from the wall.
[narrator] At that moment, Captain Underpants took a sip of water and turned back into Mr.
Krupp just in time to hear George saying "Ted Turdsly.
" -[George] Ted Turdsly.
-Ted Turdsly? A new Ted Turdsly? [laughs] Oh, goody! [yelps] My clothes! [narrator] He got dressed and went into the gym.
Well, students, I understand we have a new Ted Turdsly.
[inhales] I demand you identify the Ted Turdsly.
[murmuring] -I'm Ted Turdsly! -I'm Ted Turdsly! I'm Ted Turdsly! -I'm Ted Turdsly! -I'm Ted Turdsly! [kids] I'm Ted Turdsly! [narrator] And that was the end of Ted Turdsly.
Everyone's memory restored, they could all go back to remembering the misery of Jerome Horwitz Elementary.
Well, almost everyone.
Thoughtful, Generous, the sea is our home now.
[narrator] At least until the memory wipes wear off.
[Jessica] Oh, my hair! [theme music playing]