The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s03e04 Episode Script

The Bizarre Bout of the Beastly Barfilisk

1 This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
Remember that, now, but quietly, because they're raiding Krupp's cabin for the snacks he confiscated from the kids' care packages.
One for me, one for me.
One for me, one for me.
One for me, one for me! Ooh, ah! Aha, the Motherload! My Motherload candy bar.
Man, Krupp swiped everything.
Yeah, here's my Everything candy bar.
And all the other snacks Krupp jacked from the kids.
He even took those weird chips that got recalled in that chip scandal.
Try Fishy Chips' newest flavor, Low Tide! Uh, were flavor mistakes made? Yes.
All right, let's pack this stuff up and get out of here before Krupp-- We're not doing what it looks like we're doing, though we are.
-Wait a sec.
He's sleepwalking.
-We're doing this, right? Oh, not again.
Did you do this? So George and Harold make comic books - We're cool! - Me, too! Now they're summering at summer camp And Mr.
Krupp is, too -Blah, blah, blah, blah! - Once they used the hypno-ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda, on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Flying through the trees And don't forget, when he gets wet - You're sure to feel the squeeze! -Blah, blah, blah! Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins - Tra-la-camp! Chapter 1: One Man's Stash is Another Man's Treasure.
Ah! I've been snack-jacked! Somebody swiped the snacks I swiped! Ah! Ah! Hurry up and eat, everyone.
Do we have to eat it all now? No evidence, no crime.
"What cupcake, Your Honor?" Case dismissed! This was a sweet score, but camp wasn't supposed to go like this.
Yeah, it was supposed to be nonstop camp action-- fishing, horse climbing, scavenger hunts.
Ooh! We're the sultans of scavenge.
It's time we had a talk with Krupp.
-Boo! Scavenger hunt! -Ah! -What? -We want a scavenger hunt.
Absolutely not! What's a scavenger hunt? You give us a list of fun stuff to find, and we find it.
'Cause we're the skippers of seek.
What? Absolutely not! That takes care of that.
You got it all wrong, man.
What are you talking about, Lazy Krupp? This is a way to get them to do all our work, man.
We make a list and they make it happen, man.
The snacks, the cabin, the whole enchilada, man.
Huh And by absolutely not, I mean yes.
-Silence! -Uh no one's talk-- Today we're having a scavenger hunt! Both camps will get a list.
You're gonna find everything on it, and it's gonna be the best hunt ever! Or a "Buntver.
" Copyright, Krupp Corp.
That's not how copyrights work.
You squished three words together.
Very clever.
Oh, thank you.
Wait, was that sarcasm? No, I'm impressed.
Very impressed.
Okay, I still can't tell 'cause you're sort of Anyway, whoever finds the most stuff on the list wins the mystery box, which could be anything.
So, here are the lists! Let the Buntver begin.
Trademark, The Krupp Group.
That's not how trademarks work.
-Says you! -And federal law.
Another scavenger hunt for us to dominate.
Of course we'll win, and we'll get the mystery box, which I bet has the keys to a condo in a retirement community.
Who's the pickleball champ of Olden Pond now, Carl? Sure, or maybe something better.
Okay, item one is a mop, two is a bucket, and three is soapy water.
I don't know, guys.
This list is sketchy, like Fishy Chips.
Fishy Chips.
Flavorless flavor! Now with a hundred percent less flavor! Should chips have flavor? In hindsight, yes.
Erica, Harold and I know scavenger hunts.
You might say we're experts.
That's right.
Now, the items may seem strange, but that's normal for a scavenger hunt.
I'm sorry, but did you just "boysplain" scavenger hunts to me? -No, no, no! -Never, never.
-We're sorry.
-You're forgiven.
-Great, 'cause we're gonna win.
We're going to win! Then what's inside that mystery box will be mine! That's right.
The power of positive thinking makes everything possible.
Science makes everything possible.
And my Finders-Reapers 2000 will allow us to find everything on this list before those stale bread heels.
Do we need that? I bet we could find this stuff ourselves.
Are you insane? Without technology, we're helpless.
But here's a broom.
It's on the list.
That's not a broom! I'll find a broom.
Aha! A broom! -That-- That's the broom I gave you.
-Not according to science.
Chapter 2: The Spill of the Hunt.
How are we to find a clean floor here? I have an idea.
Why don't we use the stuff on the list we already found to clean the floor? You just earned yourself a corner office, as soon as we get offices.
Guys, I think this is Krupp's to-do list.
Erica, if there's time to lean, there's time to clean.
I'll just work on my kanji characters until you catch up.
It says "gleaming bathtub.
" That tub's not even glistening.
Keep scrubbing while I look for the next item-- disinfectant.
-It's under the sink.
-Nonsense! Make way and let science take the wheel.
It's under the sink! Erica, why are we in the woods? There's no firewood here.
Just a bunch of dead branches.
Three, two, one Oh! Let's use branches for firewood.
Ding, ding, ding! What do you mean this is the passport line? We need stamps! And fast, 'cause Melvin's camp is gaining on us.
We're literally right behind you.
And thanks to my Finders-Reapers, the stamps will soon be ours.
-This is the passport line.
-Science knew that.
Does something about this scavenger hunt feel weird to you? Yeah, it's pretty salami heavy.
Whoa! Did you know action star Lee Dingman is riding a wavezoomer around the world? -Glory hound.
-Harold, we don't have time for that.
Melvin's camp is right behind us.
How did you get in front of us again? Science is our co-pilot.
Whoa! Did you know Lee Dingman is lost at sea? Wait.
This is all wrong.
What do you mean? We separated colors from whites.
Why are we doing Krupp's laundry? 'Cause this isn't a scavenger hunt.
This is Krupp's to-do list, like I said when we started.
-What makes you say that? -Look at the list.
She's right! Krupp crossed out "To-Do List" and put "Scavenger Hunt.
" Man, we should've read this list instead of those gossip rags.
Or you could've listened to me when I said it the first time.
Oh, it's payback time.
Right after we finish this laundry.
Oh, good point.
But first "Use machines at your own risk.
Not responsible for loss or damage.
" "Win a boneless ham massage.
" What's so funny? And who told you to stop folding, Mother? To-do list? No, this is a scavenger hunt, not a list of things I wanted you kids to do for me.
Nope! Did you get my salami? Yes, we did.
-Would you like it? -Very much so.
Mm -Can I have it? -Sure.
Right after you give us a real scavenger hunt.
Ah! A catch! No deal! Fine, deal.
You'll have your scavenger hunt tomorrow.
Now how about an advance on my salami? -Oh! -Tomorrow it is or you'll never see your salami again! Unless you go shopping to buy more.
Oh, salami.
I wish I could eat you slowly.
But I can't! Fire in the hole! I love salami so much, I always eat it too fast.
If I could just slow down, maybe I wouldn't be salami intolerant.
-Uh, have you tried chewing? -Have you tried-- Oh! Think tomorrow's hunt will be any better? With Krupp in charge? Not a chance.
-But if we were planning it -It would be hunt-tastic.
And we'd crush it because we're supreme scavenger hunters.
Plus we'd have a huge advantage 'cause we picked all the stuff to find.
-Next on the list is -Got it.
-Okay, now we need a -Got it! -Finally -Got it.
-Scavenger hunt comic? -Already started.
That's mine! Oh, no! Come back here! Chapter 3: Captain Underpants and the Beastly Barfilisk.
By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
So, these kids were on a scavenger hunt, which is like losing the remote and trying to find it under a couch and stuff, but fun.
And they had to find an ostrich egg, which is like an ostrich, but not born yet, like in an egg.
So they went into the woods, 'cause where else would they find a huge egg? And Barbara was all like, "That's definitely an ostrich egg.
But--" "Whatever, Barbara.
" 'Cause the egg cracked and a baby chicken lizard monster crawled out.
And Barbara was all, "That's definitely a Barfilisk egg.
" She'll say anything to be right.
Then Barbara got bossy and was all like, "Don't look in his eyes or you'll barf a rainbow.
" And everyone was like, "Seriously?" But then they started barfing rainbows! Splurgar blather! Horse jockey! 'Cause even Barbara's right occasionally.
Then the baby Barfilisk's mom showed up, and things got dark.
Flash! Boom! Lights out! Luckily, Captain Underpants was nearby in the woods looking for his remote, and he was all, "Sounds like some kids accidentally took a Barfilisk egg.
And I have great hearing.
" And he flew in and was all, "You can't make me barf because I--" Wow, rainbow! Then Captain Underpants super-rainbow barfed into his barf briefs with such force, it blasted the Barfilisk Mom into space.
But Captain Underpants didn't want to raise another Barfilisk baby 'cause his landlord said, "Never again.
And stop parking in the guest spot.
" So he flew to space and brought the mom back for a Barfilisk reunion.
And everybody had a blast except for Barbara, who never enjoys the moment.
And the kids lost their scavenger hunt.
Okay, the end.
Chapter 4: A Wild Goose Ace.
Once the scavenger hunt is over and I get my hands on that salami I'm gonna eat it nice and slow.
Ah, who am I kidding? I'm gonna eat it like I'm running from the cops.
What makes you think George and Harold will give you the salami? Well, they said they would.
-And you trust them? -No.
Then you need to take the salami! Yes, but how? You send them on a wild goose chase.
And while they're gone, you find it and you take it! Yes! Yes! The salami is mine! Mr.
Krupp, you okay? Who are you talking to out here? No one! Stop asking questions, Drips.
Ah! And that's when a wild goose chase fell into Krupp's lap.
Barfilisk egg? Are you ready for another scavenger hunt? Because there's two rounds of the Buntver! All rights reserved, Krupp Co.
-That's not legally binding.
-The jury will decide that.
Today, you'll have until sundown to find -Better be good.
-It is! Today, you'll have until sundown to look for 'Cause if it's not, no salami.
I know! Let me finish! You have until sundown to find one item.
- What is it? - I'm in the middle of a dramatic pause.
-Are you done? -Almost.
Seriously? Yes! And interrupting me just makes the pause longer.
The deadline is sundown.
And the item is a Barfilisk egg! What? How are we supposed to find something we made up? I thought you two were the skippers of looking for stuff.
It's skippers of seek, and we find stuff that exists.
Sounds to me like you're the first mates of fraidy-cats.
Beg-eow! What was that? A fraidy-cat.
And you should know because you are one.
Beg-eow! Wrong! We're gonna find that Barfilisk egg before you figure out what cats actually sound like.
Beg-eow! We're never gonna find that Barfilisk egg.
We have to, or Krupp will rub our faces in it forever.
We can do this 'cause we're the captains of "come look at this stuff I found.
" -That one's a stretch.
But we still have to find that egg.
What's that noise? There's 100% chance we're about to find out.
After this brief message from Fishy Chips.
Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone deserves a second chance.
Introducing Fishy Chips' latest flavor-- Black Mold.
Mmm! Moldy.
Behold, you de-threaded bolts.
My Printstigator 2000 can print anything, including this absurd "Barfilisk" George and Harold concocted in a juvenile delirium.
And when this abomination lays an egg for me, they will be forced to concede I am superior in all ways.
-But what if they find it first? -What if you shut-- Hey, you guys seen a salami? Melvin doesn't need to find a Barfilisk egg if he can make one.
So we need to make one first.
Right, by laying our own egg.
Almost, buddy.
Guess it's up to me.
And smoke bomb.
We just wait for it to lay an egg, and victory is ours.
And by "ours," I mean mine.
Why didn't you just print a Barfilisk egg? - What if you shut-- We are just gonna wait for this monstrosity to lay an egg.
-As science intended.
-That monstrosity is kind of cute.
Don't look at it! This insipid comic book suggests eye contact will make you barf a rainbow, like you just did.
So, instead of laying an egg, the boys looked for the next best thing-- a believable forgery.
-This? -No.
Too small.
Ow! Ow! -This? -Put it back! Put it back! -This? -Warmer.
-This? -Colder.
This? Eggs-actly! When Melvin loses to this rock, his brain will explode.
And that led to an egg-decorating montage.
Use a bunch of glitter Fake the egg Then throw some litter Fake the egg Go wild with decorations Fake the egg Then add a few crustaceans Fake the egg Now, let's deliver this baby to Krupp for the win.
Still no egg! - Ah! Why won't she lay an egg already? - Did someone say egg? Because we have one.
What? That's impossible.
-And yet we're holding it.
-And dancing with it.
And now, we're going to win the scavenger hunt with it.
That Barfilisk stole our egg.
It must think we stole its egg.
That's a testament to our work.
But we gotta get our egg to Krupp before sundown.
No problem for the dukes of discovery.
-Let's make that the last nickname.
-Make way, bargain bins.
I gave life to that Barfilisk, so she's mine! You! Lay me an egg! Don't make eye contact! Ugh I'll give her a second.
This is hopeless, and the sun is ticking.
Time to call the Coast Guard.
-Or get Captain Underpants.
-Yeah, that.
I've looked everywhere for the rest of the salamis.
Where did those hooligans hide them? Oh, no! Ow! Why can't I quit you? We got here just in time.
Tra-la-lami! -Captain Underpants, we need you to-- -Relax, guys.
I know the drill.
Where should I drill? -I am somewhere over these rainbows.
-Where's the Barfilisk? It's nesting in my cabin.
So, technically, your egg is mine.
Unless we go get it.
Captain Underpants, can you distract the Barfilisk while we get the egg? Let me think about it.
Thinking, thinking.
Okay, now I'm thinking about lunch.
Okay, back to thinking about your thing.
Thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.
Wait, what was the question? Be my guest.
Your stomach won't last ten seconds.
Wrong! My super stomach can handle anything.
Except spicy food, dairy, meat, fish, fruits, nuts, grains and vegetables.
-Oh, and liquid.
-What does that leave? Marshmallows! Hi, there.
You must-- When did I eat rainbows? Anyway, did you see the game last night? Those teams really played-- Ah! Chapter 5: The Incredibly Graphic Violence Chapter, presented in Egg-O-Rama, because eggs are soft and fluffy.
Try the Skivvy Scramble-- a smashed egg with a side of underpants.
Or have the Barfilisk Benedict-- an egg, over not-so-easy, served on the floor.
How about an Ouchie Omelet-- an egg that just never had a chance? We got the egg! Now we just need to give it to Krupp.
And fast.
The sun's almost out of gas.
Ugh, I haven't felt this queasy since the last time I ate Fishy Chips.
Fishy Chips Hot Tar flavor.
The taste that crossed the line.
But we can't win if we're not alive! Captain Underpants, fly us out of here! Uh, can I eat some dry toast first? - No! - Okay, salami it is! But I gotta warn you, I'm salami intolerant.
What goes down must come up.
Whoa! Whoa! Here it comes! That's it! If we give the Barfilisk too much salami, maybe that'll make it sick so it's a fair fight.
Like Cap said, "What goes down must come up.
" To the salami stash! How did Krupp miss this salami? We hid it in his kitchen.
What do you mean? He's terrible at finding things.
Now, where are my keys? Quick, grab as much salami as you can carry.
Salami? Oh, no, I couldn't.
Well, maybe just some for the road, heh.
Here, take these! Let's do this! She's really going to town on this salami, but she's not getting sick.
We need to overload her before the sun sets! Hurry, feed Cap all the salami! Loading.
-Salami overload.
-Keep loading! Rotate! Fire! Ew! She's going down! It's Barf-ageddon! The sun is about to set.
Time for an emergency water landing.
You got it.
My belly also serves as a flotation device.
Ah! Where's Krupp? As you may recall, water turns Captain Underpants back into Mr.
- And where's the egg? - Ah! Why am I in a lake? Ah! And where are my pants? Chapter 6: All's Well That Egg's Well.
-Why are you happy? -Because we won the scavenger hunt.
We gave you a Barfilisk egg before the sun set.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You win.
Now where's my salami? Whoa! That's a baby Barfilisk! Whoa! That's another Barfilisk! Is that Erica? I could've wrapped this thing up hours ago if you guys hadn't taken that real Barfilisk egg from this real Barfilisk mom.
So the rock we turned into a fake Barfilisk egg was actually a real Barfilisk egg? How weird is that? It gets weirder.
I figured out why my Barfilisk didn't lay an egg.
It's male! And it hates me! Let the world barf rainbows They're a monster family Oh they're adorable.
They sure are, pal.
They sure are.
I still want my salami!