The Fall Guy (1981) s02e17 Episode Script

Strange Bedfellows

(FINGERS SNAPPING) COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo # But somehow they just don't end up as mine # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star (FINGERS SNAPPING) # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty # It's true I hire my body out for pay # Hey, hey # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay # Hey, hey # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # You guys in the chopper all set? PILOT: We're in position.
Ready when you are.
All right.
Stand by.
Take us down.
We're all ready.
Colt, let's go! Okay, now, you're sure you have a fire extinguisher in case there's a problem? If there's a problem, the only thing I'm gonna need is a set of wings.
- That's almost too true to be funny.
- Yeah.
Okay, Colt, everything's set.
There's explosives in the back of your car.
Now, be sure not to trigger them too soon, okay? Yes, mother.
Okay, kid, when you hit the gap, make sure you're going full out, 110.
- Yeah.
- Mr Seavers? My name is Grant.
I'm an attorney, and I'd like to talk with you.
- Yeah.
Catch you later.
- It's important.
Let's do it, Howie.
Look, Colt's not being rude.
He's just totally concentrating on this stunt.
- It's really dangerous.
- I understand.
Hey, buddy, you're in my shot.
Move out! All right.
Action! Is he okay? Cut! Print! Take her down! Take her down! Beautiful! - Hey, I told you! - DIRECTOR: All right! MAN 1: Yeah! MAN 23 All right! (CHEERING) Very good.
- Way to go! ALL right! - MAN 3: There he is! Yeah! - You okay? - Yeah.
Good job, kid.
- Thanks.
- This one really had me worried.
Not too shabby.
You still got another one to do.
- All right.
I'll be ready.
- Mr Seavers, excuse me.
- I'd appreciate a minute of your time now.
- Yeah? What's it about? - A client of mine.
- What's his name? - It's a she.
- Yeah? Give her my regards.
You don't understand.
It's not that she's just a fan.
- It's important.
- Yeah, well, so is my job, -and I've got another stunt to do.
- But this pays better.
Yeah? What're you talking about? I've been authorized to offer you $100,000 for your services.
- You said the magic word.
Keep talking.
- You don't have to do much, -just influence someone.
- Yeah? Who? Terri Michaels.
You know, if your client's got enough money to pay me, why don't she just put up her own money for bail? Because she has to get out of jail to get the money.
Well, who is she? - Sue Jackson.
You may remember, she - I remember her all right, and she's right where she belongs.
You don't know the trouble I went through the last time I had to bring her back when she jumped bail.
Mr Seavers, I wish you'd reconsider.
Look, she's a double-crosser, a faker and a fraud.
She speaks highly of you.
Well, then, we're both right.
Excuse me.
It's your ballgame.
Do you see her? JEFF: just my type.
(GASPS) - What do you want? - You.
The last time you told me that, I got a card from Morocco.
- Hello? - Colt, it's me.
Sorry, kid.
I can”: talk to you right now.
Don't hang up.
This can't wait.
Yeah, well, neither can this.
It's Jody- I came to pick her up for our karate class.
The door was open when I got here.
The place looked just like this.
(TELEPHONE RINGING) - Hello? - JEFF: I take it this is Howie Munson? Colt Seavers.
JEFF: Better yet.
- Where's Jody? - She's with me, and she's doing just fine.
- Look, if you hurt her in any way - That's up to you.
She'll be all right, until you don't follow one of my instructions.
What are they? Simple, really.
Bail out Sue Jackson.
Look, I can't.
She jumped bail twice before.
Her bail's $100,000.
Terri Michaels will help.
- Listen to me - Bail out Sue Jackson! That's it! All right.
Wait a minute.
I need time to raise the money and to contact Terri.
All right.
You've got until morning.
Don't contact the cops.
This is between you and me.
You've got two hours, and I'll call you at your house.
Now we'll find out how much your friends care about you.
Colt, this is a woman who has swindled over $1 million.
It's still out there.
It hasn't been recovered.
She's jumped bail before to get it.
You know she'll do it again.
I won't let her out of my sight.
If she knows you're tailing her, she's not gonna go for the money, Colt, you know that.
But if she loses me, she won't need Jody for a hostage any longer.
- That makes it a standoff.
- Only until we find where Jody's being kept.
Yeah, or she shakes you.
Look, I'm betting everything I've got on this, and so is Howie.
Well, that still leaves an enormous bond for me to put up.
Of course I'm going to do it.
I love Jody as much as you do, but please keep in mind, I am wiped out of business for good if she jumps.
All right.
Your phone line is now monitored.
Fastest tap we ever put together.
This is Agent Kane, FBI.
Terri Michaels.
Colt, I thought that you said the kidnappers Yeah, kidnappers always warn against notifying officials, but Colt was smart to bring us in, greatly increasing the chances of getting Jody back.
How long am I supposed to keep him on the line? Fifteen, 20 seconds.
I'll get a call when the phone is made.
Sometimes it can click (TELEPHONE RINGING) Stay as calm as you can.
Hello? Glad to find you in, Seavers.
Now, before we go any farther, I'd like to speak to Jody.
Sounds reasonable.
Remember, one false note and you never sing again.
- Hello, Colt? - Jody, you okay? By the look on his face, I don't think I should go into too much detail.
Now, be as smart as your little friend here, and do as you're told.
It's being taken care of.
Terri Michaels will put up the bail.
Do it.
- MAN: We got the trans, Mr Kane.
- Got it.
- Terri, stay here, in case the phone rings again.
- Sure.
COLT: Come on.
- Let's hope we're in time.
- Well, it's not too far from here.
- We might get there before the police.
- Do you really think he'll harm Jody? - Yeah, I do.
- Why? - From the clue that Jody threw us.
- What clue? Play the tape.
Now, before we go any farther, I'd like to speak to Jody.
Sounds reasonable.
JODY: Hello, Colt? COLT: Jody, you okay? All right, here it comes.
By the look on his face, I don't think I should go into too much detail.
Well, I still don't get the clue.
She said she could see the look on his face.
She was telling us that she wasn't wearing a blindfold and he wasn't wearing a mask.
So she can identify him.
And he wouldn't do that unless he felt certain she'd never get the chance.
Colt, they're gone.
Let me recheck the phone trace, make sure it was right.
It was right.
(TELEPHONE RINGING) - Hello? - JEFF: Seavers? You went to the cops! I told you not to, huh? You got the phone tapped.
It's the only way that you could have found the place.
One more dumb move like that, and Jody is dead.
I want to talk to her.
- I don't care what you want! - Well, then, Sue stays put in jail.
Stay smart.
Colt? Jody.
I'm glad to hear your voice.
I didn't know what happened to you after we found the robe.
I was on my way to the karate class, but at this rate, it seems like I'm getting further and further away.
That's it! Get Sue Jackson out.
Now! Here, have a swallow.
I don't drink.
(JEFF CHUCKLES) You'll loosen up before this is over.
You'll see.
KANE: This street map is the section of Los Angeles we're concerned about.
So you really think Jody's being held within that circle, huh? Well, this is the warehouse where Jody was first held.
Took us exactly 11 minutes to get there, after we got the kidnapper's first call.
We got the second call within a minute after we got there.
That means that he had just under 12 minutes to get to where he's keeping her now.
Now, given the best traffic conditions, he couldn't have possibly gotten past this circle.
He could've stopped, made the call, then went on to another place.
But I doubt it.
It's very risky.
He doesn't want unnecessary exposure.
Now, you eliminate that freeway, that freeway and that row of department stores, Jody's gotta be somewhere in what's left of the circle.
Come on.
Jody's smart.
She gave us a clue the first time she called.
I think she gave us another one when she mentioned the karate class.
I mean, she said, "I'm getting farther away from it.
" Okay, now, Jody lives in the Marina, which is about here.
Her karate class is about here, east, which means they must be taking her in the opposite direction, which would be west.
Great, that eliminates everything east of the warehouse.
Yeah, but it's still too large an area to search.
With Jody's help, let's hope we can narrow it down even more.
- COLT: Everything packed? - Yeah.
We're all set.
Food, drinks, the works.
It's like going on bivouac.
COLT: Well, we don't know how long we'll have to stay in that truck.
All right, Terri, it'll take a while, but have her out by morning.
Colt, please Don't worry, I won't lose her.
Terri, I really appreciate what you're doing for me.
- I promise I won't let you down.
- I've heard that before.
I mean it.
This time, nothing could make me run.
I've heard that before, too.
Well, I guess it's only natural to be a little cynical in your business.
Only about certain people.
Well, that figures.
First stop, a car.
- Where do you think her second will be? - Glendale, Burbank, or the moon.
Nothing about her surprises me.
All right, kid, keep your fingers crossed.
Here we go.
Don't worry, Colt.
She won't get away from you.
Yeah, well, she did the last time, twice.
(HONKING) You went the wrong way, Colt.
She turned left! Well, whatever a normal person would do, figure Sue to do the opposite.
There she is.
What are you so worried about? We can't let her think she's lost us, or Jody's finished.
You really think she's cold-blooded enough to kill Jody? Colt, darling.
How are you? Oh, Colt.
It's good to see you.
Oh, and here I thought you were trying to qualify for the Indy 500.
Now, why would I run away from you? Remember the last night we spent together? How could I forget? A wonderful dinner, hand-in-hand moonlight walk, and then I ended up with 13 stitches in my elbow where you tried to run over me.
I'm talking about what happened later.
It was a long night, and we didn't have a chess board.
Sue, can I tell you something? - Yes.
- Anything happens to Jody, anything at all, I'm gonna nail you and your accomplice, if it takes the rest of my life.
-Who's Jody? - The girl you kidnapped! That's ridiculous.
I have been in jail.
Come on, stop playing games.
We know each other too well.
Look, Colt, this is different.
I'm not on my own any more.
I don't want anybody to get hurt, either.
Well, then, give me that number you were about to call.
- I wish I could.
- Come on.
Level with me, and I can help you.
It's impossible.
Someday, you'll understand.
What's the matter? I have to call someone every two hours.
Yeah, well, you tell that someone to call my house every two hours, and every time he does, I want Jody to talk to Terri.
I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything.
See, I'm not in control of this situation.
Well, then, all bets are off, and it's back to jail for you.
COLT: What I'd give to hear those dialing tones.
(RINGING) - SUE: H's ma.
- Are you on your way? Colt Seavers is still on me.
- LO.
$'E' him.
- I'm trying to.
Listen, baby, you better not tie up with him and try and double-cross me.
No chance.
Seavers is too honest.
(LAUGHS) And what does that make me, huh? My partner.
Darling, can you still worry after everything that we've been through together? Yeah, until we get our hands on that money.
How's the girl? She's having the time of her life.
She has to call Colt's house every two hours, talk to Terri, -until we get this thing settled.
- Yeah, okay.
Good news! We have to spend more time together than I thought.
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) I bet you're a good dancer, huh? What's the matter? These ropes are really tight.
They're cutting off all the circulation in my hands.
That's all right.
They don't have any place to go, anyway.
(LAUGHS) HOWIE: Well, so far, so good.
It's too early to take bows, kid.
She's just warming up.
- But, Colt, if she is on the level - Can't happen.
Hard to believe.
She comes off so sincere.
Yeah, that's what five businessmen thought, until she conned them out of $1 million in a phony real estate deal.
Still, it's a long way from con-woman to killer.
Yeah, well, I hope so, kid.
COLT: Hey, she's gone! Colt, you're not going to believe what just happened! Howie, call Kane.
Report her car as stolen.
Hey, you idiot! The rear wheel is loose.
You know that thief? No.
I'm a member of the Auto Club, though.
I got a flat tire.
Bet you've been wondering.
About what? What's gonna happen to you.
This is ridiculous.
Who could have reported my car as stolen? - Well, I got a friend.
- How did you get a fake APB out on me? I mean, really, Colt, it's amateur night.
I'm trying to prevent a tragedy.
- Well, then, give me the number.
- No.
Look, Sue, I swear you'll never spend one dollar of that million.
You really think you can beat me at this game? Look, it's no game when the stakes are life and death.
Go in with me, Colt.
I'll make you a full partner.
- Well, what do I gotta do? - Nothing, for an hour.
That's all the time I'll need.
And then you'll go pick up the million, and then rush right back into my arms, huh? Absolutely.
What do you say? I say, get yourself checked out.
You're late for your next phone call.
Why hasn't she called? - How late is she? - It's almost an hour.
Well, maybe she couldn't get to a phone.
You must know what happens to you if she doesn't call every two hours, huh? - Jeff.
- What? Can I get up and stretch? I'm getting really stiff sitting here.
Go ahead.
I'm watching you.
I appreciate that.
I'll take that drink now.
I figured you'd come around.
(TELEPHONE RINGING) (RINGING CONTINUES) - Where were you? - I was having a problem with her.
-Why're you late? -Seavers.
I don't care about him! I don't care about anything, any more! I'm going nuts in here.
You hear? This whole thing was supposed to take a couple of hours, and I've had it.
- I'm coming out.
I'll take care of Seavers myself.
- You can't.
- Why? - The girl.
I'll take care of her, too.
Don't do anything to the girl.
She has to make a phone call every two hours, or I am back in jail and everything is lost.
OFFICER: Okay, let's go, ladies.
Come on, let's go.
Move it along, move it along, let's go.
Now just control yourself a little while longer, sweetheart.
Okay? I know how to get rid of Colt.
I'll handle everything on this side.
Come on.
WOMAN 1: Get your hands off of us.
(WOMEN CHATTERING) WOMAN 2: Leave me alone! WOMAN 32 Watch it! Hey! You imbecile! What're you doing? - You all right? - It’s just my leg.
Yeah, well, I don't want anything to happen to you, yet.
Johnson, second floor nurses station, extension 275,93.
Johnson, second floor Excuse me, are you sure there's no other way out of that room? The architecture hasn't changed since the last time you asked me.
X-ray technician, extension 20817.
X-ray technician, extension 20817.
- How bad is it? - It's a fractured knee.
Now, she's gonna have to stay off it as much as possible.
I've got a room set for her upstairs.
Hey, jenny, could you take her up to 212 for me? Thank you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I saw the X-rays.
There's nothing wrong with her knee.
Well, for $500, I will go along with any joke.
I even gave her a hammer, so she could break it open.
- But why the room? - Part of the gag.
Dr Franklin, to admitting.
Dr Franklin, to admitting.
Inhalation therapist, room 419.
Inhalation therapist, room 419.
Got it? What are you gonna do with that? COLT: Gotta get the dialing tones when she calls her partner.
Then you'd better hurry.
I think time's running out on us.
Why? She's not going anywhere.
Well, it's not her.
It's her boyfriend.
Each call, he's getting more explosive, drunker, psychotic, even.
He's become unpredictable.
You better get back and cover the phones.
What's our next move? - I gotta convince her she's in the clear.
- Well, how're you gonna do that? Make her think that we really believe that she's an invalid.
- Well, she is.
The cast.
- It's a phony.
- Why did the doctor put it on? - Bribe, $500.
She bribed him.
- Well, Why'd he tell you that, another bribe? - A threat.
- What kind of threat? - Accessory and conspiracy to a kidnapping.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) - Who is it? - It's Colt.
Just a second.
Come on in.
The door is open.
I feel like a beached whale.
Can you get me from here to there? Sure.
Oh, Colt.
- Colt, you haven't changed a bit.
- Neither have you.
Oh, boy.
Kissing makes me hungry.
- What? Now? - I think I'll go get a bite to eat.
- You can't be serious.
- What's wrong? Is the hospital food bad? Excuse me.
I missed lunch.
Hi, Arden, love.
I'm at LA Memorial, Room 212.
Listen, I need you, okay? I'm desperate.
Come as fast as you can.
Thanks, love.
WOMAN ON PA: Fifth floor nursing supervisor, extension 73684.
- SUE: Come in.
- Fifth floor nursing supervisor, extension 73684.
Please leave the door open, Sister.
It's a little stuffy in here.
If he suspects anything, he'll barge right on in.
- Did you get everything checked out? - I've got the place all picked out.
There'll be no problem.
You don't know Seavers.
He's harder to get rid of than acne.
Not with the proper medication.
Well, like I said, Sister, I'd like to see it first-hand, understand? You'll have a front-row seat for his final curtain call.
Thank you, Sister.
Did you bring me a gift? Don't I always? Thank you, Sister.
Dr Stevens, to paediatrics, extension 41382.
Dr Stevens, to paediatrics, extension 41382.
- Anything? -just a nun.
-"Just a nun" what? - Well, a nun went into Sue's room, but she's gone.
Don't worry, Colt, nothing happened.
The door was open the entire time.
I watched.
Well, then, what was the nun doing in there? - Nuns normally visit patients in this hospital.
- Not Sue, they don't.
- She's not Catholic? - She's barely human.
Mr Seavers, Mr Colt Seavers, please report to the third floor waiting room.
- Colt, that could be a trick.
- Yeah, you can depend on that.
- Well, you can't just walk into their trap.
- I have to, if I'm gonna force her move.
You wait a few minutes, and then come up.
Over here, Seavers.
Arden, aren't you a little off your beat? For $50,000, I decided to make a detour.
In here.
What are you gonna do, shoot me? I wish it would be that easy.
The little lady seems to think you got nine lives.
She wants to make sure that this is the last one.
Up on the roof.
Don't try it.
You don't even pass go.
It's directly to jail.
- That's gonna make me a three-time loser.
- Well, I'm ready to hear your confession.
Come on.
- You okay? - Good.
Six mattresses for a three-story fall? - Sorry, Colt, there wasn't much time.
- Did you get Kane? Yeah.
He's on his way.
- Oh, I was expecting Queen Elizabeth.
Listen, how's the girl? Right enough.
Let her make her last phone call.
You shake Seavers? For good, this time.
I'll be there in about 30 minutes, okay? I can't wait to see you, my love.
Come here.
I always Liked girls with blond hair.
What are you gonna do? I think it's time to have a chat with your friend Terri again, huh? - This is Terri Michaels.
- JEFF: Guess who.
- Your call is late.
- Tough.
Could I speak to Jody, please? No tricks.
- Hello, Terri.
- Jody, are you all right? Is he hurting you? No, I'm fine.
As a matter of fact, it's like being with Richard Burton.
(CHUCKLES) Real class, huh? That was the last call, wasn't it? Smart girl.
So, what happens now? Same thing that happens to everybody, only sooner.
Dr Cook, ICU, extension 25371.
Dr Cook, ICU, extension 25371.
Terri, it's Colt.
Have you heard from Jody? KANE: It could take headquarters another 15 minutes to trace down the dialing tones from her last call.
That could be too late.
I'm sure Sue's on her way there now.
Wasn't that dangerous, to let her out of your sight? Sue thinks she's in the clear.
Now, if Jody's being held in an isolated area, she'd have spotted any tail, and that would have been that.
Why Union Train Station? Look, Jody mentioned Richard Burton to Terri.
Now, he was in the next compartment to me on one of my cases, on a train.
Union Station is way out of the possible circle.
But where else could she be held in a train? I'm trying to think of other areas that are in the circle.
- Echo Park, Baldwin, Griffith Park, Los Feliz - Griffith Park.
They keep a bunch of old trains there on exhibition.
- It's a park.
There'd be a lot of people.
- Not during the week.
It's closed.
- What happened? - She tried to get away.
You're a brave lady, Jody.
So, what happens now? What do you think happens? You get it.
- What's the matter with you? - You, for one thing.
Now get over there with her.
Move it! There.
Give me the number.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
It's the right number.
- Try the phone.
It's working.
They tapped into it.
SUE: I'm really sorry that I have to kill you, Jody, but expedience demands it, -like with you, Jeff.
- JEFF: But we love each other.
What do you know about love? All you understand is hate.
JEFF: But all the plans we made.
Our life together.
JODY: Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror, or listened to the way you talk? You're a pig, as ugly on the inside as you are on the outside.
- You were only using me.
- Yes, and even that disgusted me.
You still need me for the money.
I already have the money.
You've been safeguarding it for me all this time.
It's underneath the rug, by the heater.
Now, as soon as the two of you kill each other, I'll take it and be off.
Jody, I have to get you to the hospital.
Oh, no.
I'm okay.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
- Well, what about a bottle of champagne? - Now that I'll take you up on.
Oh, shoot! - JODY: Howdy, howdy! - Hi.
Sandwich? - Oh, yeah.
- No, thank you.
Well, I got that over with.
I finally gave a deposition on Sue and Jeff.
Yeah, and if precedence means anything, they're gonna spend the rest of their lives in prison.
Poor prison.
And the businessmen were so happy to get their million back that they gave a $25,000 reward.
Gosh, if anybody deserves it, it has to be Terri.
She took the biggest risk.
Colt, that was only money, though.
It was Jody that went through all the trauma.
Well, I can't take this.
I mean, you take it, you and Colt.
You saved my life.
Well, I can't take a reward for that.
You mean, I can't give this money away? Well, I wouldn't say that.
Why don't we split it? The sandwiches are on me.
TERRI: Yeah! HOWIE: Here you go.