The Fall Guy (1981) s02e20 Episode Script

P.S. I Love You

(FINGERS SNAPPING) COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo # But somehow they just don't end up as mine # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star (FINGERS SNAPPING) # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty # It's true I hire my body out for pay # Hey, hey # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay # Hey, hey # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # COLT: Now, [sf me tell you about one of the more unusual days in my [ifs and how it led to a lost weekend.
It started with a little kid who isn't a kid at all.
Now, I've worked with a lot of wild stuntmen, but there's none wilder than Cassie Farraday, a stuntwoman who only comes up to about my waist.
DIRECTOR: ON MEGAPHONE'.
Okay, This is a take.
Let's get it right.
Roll cameras.
Ana' action! COLT".
Howie was playing a mugger, pretending to be blind, and Cassie was a kid who'd stolen a car and ran into the mugger at just the wrong time.
Oh, sir! Sir! I'm so sorry.
Sir, are you all right? Sir? Sir? Do you need a doctor? I can get you a doctor.
Good, Cassie.
Now, head for the ladder.
Bring the other car in.
Okay, Ken, follow them up.
(WHOOPING) Way to go! Climb up there! DIRECTOR: ON MEGAPHONE'.
Okay, you two, you're doing fine.
I hope you root for me, too, Jody.
Oh, you know I will, as soon as Colt swings into action for you.
Even though I know your fans are sure that you can handle anything all by yourself.
Well, that's 'cause it's in my contract.
The fine print says, "Tab Hunter always wins.
" If I don't, how am I going to shine in the close-ups? Speaking of close-ups, Tab, you'd better get ready for yours.
- I don't want to lose any of this momentum.
- Right.
Go get 'em! Let her get ahead of you, Howie.
That's nice! Beautiful! Keep I': up.
(WOMAN YELLING) CUT if! CUT if! Okay.
Let's set up for the scene on the ladder.
Wardrobe, make sure Col': has the right outfit.
Yeah, you're beautiful, Tab.
But you won't be for long.
- Vince, what the hell are you doing here? - What do you think? It's payday, hero.
You're overdue.
You're crazy.
I've already paid.
Ask Gil.
Gil's who sent me.
I want money, Tab.
Now.
- Look, you're not bleeding me any more.
- Come on Thanks.
One thing you never have to do, Vinnie, is thank me.
Let's get out of here.
- Wait, don't forget to get your gun.
- Oh, yeah.
Okay, Cassie.
The villain is still hot on your heels.
Action! COLT".
Me? Well, I was the hero, of course.
Namely, Tab Hunter.
(SCREAMING) Cut! Print it! Beautiful! - MAN: Okay, I need another magazine - Beautiful! Okay, that works for me.
Colt, Howie, Cassie, that was great.
for the next shot.
- Colt, I'd like to talk to you about the next stunt - All right, kid.
MAN 1: right over here.
MAN 2: Get it, Marty, and I need Moore to put a cable here, too.
Move the Nagra over here, will you? Get the -"A" camera? - Got it all.
-"B" camera? - Good for me.
-"C" camera? - Great stuff! - Great from every angle, Colt! - Good.
Great? That was spectacular! Boy, I'll say! Colt, you lifted me like I was a feather.
Hey, you're such a good stuntwoman, you made it look easy.
What about me? Did you see the way I cut that rope? Face it, Munson, causing the fall isn't the hard part, surviving it is.
Okay, let's get Tab out here.
It's time for him to start earning his money.
(WOMAN SCREAMING) - MAN: Hey! - What was that? I don't know.
But it didn't sound too happy.
Mr Hunter? Mr Hunter? Mr Hunter? Are you okay? - Oh, my head.
What happened? - Are you all right? - Something must've knocked me out.
- Don't sweat it.
It happens to us every day.
Well, what about him, Colt? Something that doesn't happen to us every day.
This man's dead.
COLT".
Now, Tab Hunter is one of my best friends.
We've worked together in more pictures than I've had broken bones.
50 when he ended up with a dead man in his trailer, and under arrest, there was no question of what I had to do.
1 had to do everything for him I could.
Tab had gotten himself involved with an illegal gambling operation, and even though he'd paid his debts, they were still after him.
1 had to find out why.
There is no bail, Colt.
Tab Hunter's been charged with murder.
The weapon was his own knife.
That's why we've gotta help him, Terri.
He's our friend.
Besides, if he doesn't finish the picture, we're out of a job.
That's a joke.
See my smile? All right, Terri, level with me now.
Come on, what does the police really got? Well, according to my sources, the victim was a man named Vince Allen.
He's a hood with a record longer than Tab Hunter's credits.
Well, what would a goon like that be doing in Tab's trailer? - He's not talking.
- He doesn't have to.
I already know.
- You do? - Yeah.
Allen was a collection man for a gambling parlor in Palm Springs.
Palm Springs? That's where the rich people go to take off their shirts, not lose them.
Gambling's illegal in California anyway, Colt.
Oh, come on.
You know Hunter.
He liked to enjoy himself.
- He didn't always think of the consequences.
- Have you ever actually been in that place? Yeah, I was there once.
He dropped a big wad.
But he told me he paid them off.
Well, maybe Vince Allen didn't agree.
Well, according to Hunter, he was hit from behind when he was struggling with Allen for Allen's gun.
A gun? We didn't find a gun in the trailer.
I know, and neither did the police.
If they had, that would be evidence it was self-defense.
Well, then, whoever clobbered Hunter must have killed Vince Allen.
But who would do such a thing? I mean, why would (RATTLING) Well, somebody that wanted to get Hunter and Allen out of the way in one quick move.
Wait a minute.
Kid, get in position, I'll get the door.
- What are you doing, sneaking around out there? - Nothing! I wasn't sneaking around! Let go! Oh, yeah? What do you call it, then? Yeah, what do you call it? Eavesdropping? Oh, look, Colt, I was just trying to scope everything out.
- You can't blame me for that.
- Scope everything out? For what? - Who are you? - Meet Cassie Farraday, one of the rowdiest little stuntwomen in the business.
Yeah.
And the woman who's going to solve today's murder! What are you talking about? Well, I'm an eyewitness.
I saw a guy who didn't belong there, leaving the movie location.
Right around the time of the murder.
What? And you didn't tell the police? Well, what for? So they could draw a picture? If I see that guy again, I'll know him.
Yeah, well, it looks like you just bought yourself a trip to Palm Springs with us.
With you guys? Colt, I sort of planned on cracking this case myself.
You can't do that.
You're not a detective.
You're just a kid! Munson, for your information, I'm not a kid, I'm a woman.
I'm 21 years old! And just because I'm small, you put me down.
Hey, hey.
Cassie, all the times we've worked together, have I ever put you down? Huh, Cassie? No, Colt.
You haven't.
You're a good guy.
Well, then, you're coming with us.
You'll be safer.
And we'll try to stay out of your way.
Now, a lot of people have gotten mixed up with this gambling operation.
In fact, the game had gone in and out of all the best resort towns in the West, moving on as soon as things got hot.
But if we were going to get to the bottom of Vince Allen's murder, we had to get to his bosses before they split for parts unknown.
JODY: Leave it to Howie to try and get a head start on a Palm Springs tan.
Yeah.
Looks like he has a hard time separating business from pleasure, huh? COLT: Don't worry.
Nothing a bad case of sunburn won't cure.
You know, Colt, I'm really glad we decided to work together.
It's kind of like we're Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake.
Or Gable and Lombard.
No.
No, wait.
I've got it.
Bogie and Bacall.
We'll just stick to our plan, huh, Lauren? Illegal gambling operation is the only lead we got.
No sweat.
You set up the contact with the gamblers, and then I'll move in and eyeball the suspect.
Eyeball? Oh, it's an old detective term.
Should be no problem for two pros like us to catch the killers.
Right, sweetheart? Sweetheart? Right, sweetheart.
Remember what I was saying about Cassie being wild? Well, this is just an example of how she managed to make my life miserable without hardly trying at all.
Wow, take a look at this place.
Terri came through for once.
Yeah.
That's 'cause, for once, she isn't paying the bill.
According to the desk clerk, Tab Hunter is picking up the tab.
Colt, you go on ahead.
I've got something I've been dying to do all day.
All right, Cassie.
Colt, I'm worried about Cassie.
You know how feisty she is.
Who knows what trouble she might cause? Jody, there's no reason to think that Cassie's going to cause any trouble.
Look, bozo, why don't you just mind your own business and leave me alone? I wouldn't be too sure, kid.
You know that old saying.
- What old saying is that? - I forget how it goes.
Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? Hey.
Wait a minute, pal.
This bozo told me to get out of the pool, that's what! I was just trying to have your daughter's attention to that sign.
I'm not a kid, I'm a woman! - No children allowed.
- She's not my daughter - That's it, buster! I'LL show you who's a child! - Wait just a minute! Cassie, take it easy! Like hell! You're going in the water.
And you! Wait! Bogie and Bacall? Looks more like Lucy and Desi to me.
I'm really sorry, Sergeant Brooks.
Yeah, I promise it won't happen again.
It better not, Mr Seavers.
Unless you and your friends want to spend your time here in jail instead of a luxury suite.
Wait a minute.
What were we supposed to do? Stand around and be insulted? Or fight back? Let me explain something to you about Palm Springs.
There are no fights here.
Period.
You got that? Well, just because all the people here are rich doesn't mean they can walk all over everybody.
Miss Farraday, nobody is gonna walk over anybody.
Now, people come here because this is a resort town.
They ask one thing, peace and quiet.
And it's my job to see they get it.
Otherwise, the wealthy folks who come here might go elsewhere.
Yeah, and then the whole town would go bust.
And who would pay the police? -(LAUGHING) That Cassie, she's a real kidder.
- She's so funny.
The life of every party! Yeah.
But when troublemakers try to take away my salary, I don't think it's funny at all.
In fact, I can get real unpleasant.
Do I make myself clear? Oh, that's as clear as Palm Springs air, Sergeant.
You won't have to worry about a thing.
Boy, I bet he wouldn't have talked to us like that if we were all Gucci-ed up.
Well, he wouldn't have talked to us like that if you hadn't have talked to him like that.
- Let's get our bags and find our room.
- Our bags? Oh, my God! Oh, God, it's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- Colt.
- I see it.
Hey, Cassie, what are you, some kind of a junkie? Come here.
I want to talk to you.
- Sit down here.
- Colt, it's not what you think.
- Yeah? Well, what is it? - I'm no doper, Colt.
I'm a diabetic.
And I take this daily to survive.
This You mean this is insulin? Boy, is it insulin.
Didn't you ever wonder why I was so small, Colt? I've had diabetes since I was real little, and I just didn't grow.
No, I never knew.
I never thought.
Cassie, I'm sorry.
Don't you dare be sorry for me, Colt Seavers.
I'm doing fine.
Why, I've actually made something of myself because of all this.
I mean, I do half the child stunt work in town.
And by solving this murder, I'll really prove that diabetics can do a whole lot more.
(IMITATING BOGIE) You know, sweetheart, I'll bet you're a snappy little dancer, too, huh? I could tango you under the table.
I'll bet you could.
Let's go.
Come on.
Well, we managed to get away with that one.
We still had to do all we could for Tab.
Fortunately, he'd given us the lay of the land.
We knew exactly where to go and what to do.
The idea was to get into the gamblers' good graces, and then let Cassie's eagle eye do the rest.
Couldn't we get a bigger truck, Colt? There's no way I can make a dignified entrance like this.
Don't worry, Howie, it won't make the trash magazines.
Hey, come on, we got a job to do.
According to Tab Hunter, this is where his troubles all started.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING) We serve booze here.
That seems reasonable.
Now, hold it! Maybe for you.
But not for your kid sister.
- Kid sister! Buddy, I'm - ID.
ID.
- Sorry.
- You better be! And it better not happen again, you - You don't give an inch, do you? - I knew if I couldn't take him, you could.
Come on, let's find a table.
- IS that it? - Yeah, that's the casino.
You two, we'll be right back.
Go ahead and order something.
Hold on! We're a team, remember? For once I agree with Cassie.
I'd rather be in there with you.
Come on, what if something goes wrong? What do I have for backup? Oh, all right.
But if you need me, just whistle.
(IMITATING BOGIE) All right, sweetheart.
HOWIE: How we gonna get in? COLT: Tab told me the password.
The night's young.
I need some air.
I love good passwords.
It reminds me of my days in the fraternity at Northwestern.
Or was it Michigan State? Kid, we'll check your transcripts later.
Let's get to work.
If that's what you want to call it.
Give me some money, kid.
Gary, this is Mr Bester.
He has a little problem.
Just a Little down Luck.
Nothing I can't handle.
- Just a few bad runs of black - He's tapped out, Gary.
My policy's very simple, Mr Bester.
You pay your debts.
That's why I appeal to a better clientele.
Well, I don't have the money.
Tell you what, Mr Bester, we'll give you some time.
What? That's great.
Thank you.
Of course, Mr Bester.
Tomorrow night'll be fine.
Come on, red three! Black two? I don't believe it! What lousy luck! Easy, easy, kid.
We're supposed to lose.
How else are we gonna get in good with these guys? - Sorry, Colt.
I got carried away.
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Colt.
Hey, Charlie, how you doing? Well, as a matter of fact, I've done better.
Hey, what about that series you were gonna do? The one where I did that high fall on? That's the problem.
Not only haven't the cards been falling right, but the series didn't sell.
I'll see you around.
I'm in the book.
Call me.
I'm Gil Holder.
I help run things around here.
- Howie Munson.
This is my partner, Colt Seavers.
- How do you do? I haven't seen you before.
You'll never see us again if we keep losing like this.
Hey, we can't have that.
All the fun's in getting ahead, huh? Yeah.
You know, a friend of ours said that you'd extend first-timers a little credit if we got low on cash.
Maybe I can help you out.
Follow me.
That sounds good.
This is Mr.
Jordan, the owner of our little establishment.
- Mr Jordan.
- Gentlemen.
Gary, my two friends here could use a little credit.
Yeah.
You see, we got into town over the weekend.
The banks being closed and all that, why, we sure could use a little credit.
- I see.
- Certainly a nice place you've got here.
- Yeah.
- It was real nice of Tab Hunter to recommend it.
Tab Hunter? I'm afraid I can't help you.
Oh, you don't understand.
You see, he didn't mean Tab Hunter.
My partner just got some names mixed up.
It was an unfortunate slip.
You see, Mr Hunter doesn't exactly happen to be a good credit risk.
You two are going to have to leave now.
And I wouldn't even think about coming back.
Colt, how did it go? Well, the book was better than the movie.
Hey, we gotta go on these disco capers more often.
- That's him.
That's him! - Who? - HOWIE: That's Gil Holder.
- Well, I don't care what his name is.
- That's the guy I saw on the movie location.
- Are you sure? Of course I'm sure! I told you I'd recognize him if I ever saw him again.
- And I'm seeing him right now.
- Let's go.
But, Colt, we gotta nail him! Seeing the guy drive away is not the same as seeing him kill someone! Howie's right.
We've got to learn more about him first.
Besides, you're Bacall, I'm Bogie.
I'll make the decisions.
- But Colt! - We'll wait outside for him to come out.
Of course, there's one thing about shadowing people.
It's mighty hard to do when they're not there.
We wound up driving around Palm Springs for most of the night.
Then we went back to Holder's place to wait him out.
Colt! Colt! Get up! Look! Look, it's Holder! He's coming out.
- Well, go on! Are you gonna go? After him! - All right! I don't wanna get too close.
Yeah, but if you don't go, you're gonna lose him! I'm going, I'm going! (EXCLAIMS) That's Cassie.
We were off and running whether I wanted to be or not.
Oh, great.
CASSIE: Colt, look out! Colt, we're going over the edge! COLT: Hang on! We made it.
We actually made it.
Yeah.
Almost in one piece.
Except for a broken axle.
Everybody all right? Oh, nothing a couple of months of bed rest wouldn't cure.
- HOWIE: My back.
- Howie! Are you okay? What happened, Colt? You all right? I never thought it would feel so good to have my feet back on the ground.
It's not exactly your feet, kid.
After that flight, it's close enough.
Excuse me a minute.
Time for the old insulin breakfast.
Kid, see if you can find a phone, get us a tow, huh? Yeah.
- How can you do that? - Oh, it's only a little needle.
Besides, if you had to, you'd do it, too.
Colt, what about Holder? Not only did he get away, but he knows we're after him now.
Yeah, we're not just back to square one, we're off the board completely! Not necessarily.
You mean you got an idea? I knew you'd come through, Colt.
I knew you'd think of something.
Not something.
Somebody.
Charlie said he was listed.
Let's call him.
BESTER: I only need the money for a little while.
But you helped me out before.
Fred, you know I'll pay you back.
Fred! Agent! What you need, Charlie, is a good manager, and I happen to know where there's one available.
What he needs, Howie, is a way out of all this trouble.
I guess I'm getting superstitious.
I thought I'd have more luck on your phone than the one at my condo.
Charlie, if you want to change your luck, you ought to let us help you.
Colt, I appreciate your concern, but you don't even know how much I owe.
- We can imagine.
- Can you? You see, I have trouble myself imagining that I'm in for 100 grand.
100 grand? - You owe those guys $100,000? - Cassie.
Colt, the guy's gotta be crazy to get in over his head like that.
- Cassie - I mean, to gamble away money you don't even have, on those lowlifes.
- Cassie! - Cassie! Colt, if it's all the same with you, I think I'd better go.
Now, wait a minute.
It's not all the same to me, Charlie.
Now, the men that run that casino killed one of their own men.
We want to put them where they belong, and clear Tab Hunter's name.
Why don't you have her talk to them? Then they'd go straight to the police just to get away.
Come on, she didn't mean it.
Did you? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like it sounded.
Honest, I didn't.
Oh, God.
Colt, I'm supposed to be at the casino to pay off tonight.
- What am I gonna do? - Give them a call.
Change the plan.
Yeah.
But if they're capable of murder the way you said Charlie, when Colt rigged the stunt on that pilot you two did, he didn't let you take the fall, did he? No, of course not.
Well, then trust him on this one.
He's not gonna let anything go wrong.
Why don't you explain to me exactly what it is you want me to do? It needs a new magnet, Hank.
Had more winners than we wanted last night.
Yeah.
All right.
This better be legitimate, Bester.
What was that? Bester trying to weasel out of paying? He says he has the money, but he doesn't want to bring it here.
What's he want us to do? Send a beautiful blonde over to his hotel room to collect? He wants me to meet him at the lake on the back nine of the Rancho Country Club at 5:00 tonight.
Actors.
Well, I suppose you have to have a certain amount of flair for that occupation.
At these prices, I'll play his games.
I don't like it.
First, I was chased through the mountains by those friends of his.
Now, we've got a timid little mouse who wants to play hide-and-go-seek.
I'll take care of Bester.
You've messed up everything else.
What was I supposed to do? Gary? We can't stay in business by shooting at people.
Hey, man, nobody was hurt.
Everyone was safe in that fall.
I saw it myself from around the cliff.
Oh, you saw it from around the cliff.
- Yeah.
- Silk shirts.
Perfect creases.
And inside, you're still sloppy, Gil.
- You were sloppy with Vince.
- Vince was stealing from us.
- He wasn't reporting half the collections.
- I don't mind being rid of the man.
But I wouldn't have brought any attention on us! None! But Tab Hunter was the perfect patsy.
Tab Hunter has given us a problem! Seavers, Munson and the women that were with them.
Since you're so unhappy with the way I've been handling everything, what are you gonna do? It's being taken care of in a more subtle way.
Now, her plan sounded good to me, but I wasn't quite sure.
I gotta admit, though, that Cassie was kind of competent.
Colt, you're a genius! Not even Bogie ever thought of anything so good! Cassie, it's not gonna be that easy.
What do you mean? I've seen Bester act.
He's good! No matter how good he is, getting Charlie to convince those gamblers he knows all about the murder, well, that's asking a lot.
Are you kidding? I can see it all now.
We go down to the local TV station, right? We promise them a great story.
And then they'll lend us a TV camera and a microphone.
Then we take all the stuff to the country club, and while Bester waits, we hide in the brush with Howie and Jody.
Finally, Holder and Jordan arrive.
But Bester isn't gonna pay them off at all, 'cause he says that he knows that they framed Tab Hunter for the murder of Vince Allen.
We record the whole thing, right? And as soon as the bad guys say something incriminating We swoop down on them and we nail them! I'm telling you, Colt, it's a perfect plan! You're a total genius! Kung fu! Bruce Lee! She did it again.
And wouldn't you know it? Right in front of our old friend, Sergeant Brooks.
Afternoon, Sergeant.
I suppose you've got a good reason for what's going on here.
We rented this car! We can do whatever we want! I mean, just because you're wearing Nice day, isn't it, huh? It's about to become nicer because you're about to leave town.
What are you talking about? That's a fair question.
Your truck was identified as doing some very fancy driving up in the hills this morning.
- A man almost got killed.
- Yeah.
As a matter of fact, that man was me.
Funny.
It was reported the other way around.
Then I suppose you didn't hear about the shooting, either? What I heard was that one of our residents was harassed.
Now, I could lock you up.
Or you and your sideshow can clear out right now.
Well, our friends aren't even here.
Then you'll find them later.
Back in LA.
- What about our bags? - You can send for them.
Look, make it easy for yourself, Mr Seavers.
Get going.
Now! You sure know how to make a point, Sergeant.
We're not really going to leave town, are we? We don't have much choice now.
The gamblers reported our ride through the hills their way, said there were dozens of witnesses when we, supposedly, attacked Holder.
Of course, none of those witnesses were around when we tried to tell our side of the story.
Oh, damn! He's still behind us! Colt, we can't go back to LA.
If Bester doesn't show up at the country club, we're dead.
I know, I know.
No telling what Holder and Jordan will do to him.
Then Why'd you give in to that guy? What is it? You know that choice we didn't have before? It's coming up now.
We're about to leave Sergeant Brooks' jurisdiction.
Take a look at him now.
Well, yeah, but how are we gonna head back without him seeing us? We're gonna go right past the gas station when we turn around.
Well, I was thinking of another route.
Hang on.
I knew we were taking a big chance, going back into town.
But we had to 'cause if we didn't come through, both Tab Hunter and Charlie Bester gooses were cooked.
That's the nice thing about knowing all the roads.
You can always come into town the back way.
We made if back to Palm Springs just in time to get all our equipment and head out to the golf course.
The problem now was to make sure Bester stayed calm enough to say what he had to, and to keep Cassie from jumping the gun.
Colt! Not now, Cassie.
Here they come.
- But I can't see! - You won't have to.
Just poke the lens through the leaves.
There he is.
I don't know what he's up to, but if he's got what he owes me, I don't care.
- Maybe if I get a little higher.
- No, no, no, no! Stay down! Here they come.
Gil.
Mr Holder.
I don't see a briefcase or anything, Mr Bester.
Where's the money? I was going to bring it.
You were going to bring it? Oh, I had it in neat little stacks.
You know, hundred-dollar bills.
But then I got to thinking, it seemed to me that you should be paying me.
Oh? You're not being very smart, Bester, playing around with us like this.
But I am being smart.
You see, I know something you guys want kept quiet.
I know how you killed Vince Allen.
You couldn't.
(EXCLAIMS) This isn't exactly how I pictured things going down.
Get up.
They've been taping us! Colt, what about Holder? Well, let's see what we can do with this guy first.
Come on, move it.
Get in front.
There you go, kid.
Charlie, give me the keys.
Jody'll take you back in the truck.
- What are you going to do? - Don't worry.
I won't get a scratch on it.
Listen.
I mean, we didn't get anything on him yet.
Not yet.
COLT: He's shooting at us! Get down! 1 didn't mind Holder shooting.
It just added to the fun.
You see, I figured that since we still had to get Jordon to talk, the best way to do it was to give him a good stuntman-style scare.
Now, one thing I'm good at is outrunning folks.
Seven-Alpha-Seven to control.
I've got two funny-looking fellas running right through the park.
Better send me some backup.
Hello again, everybody, this is your track announcer, Chick Hearn.
We welcome you to the Palm Springs International Raceway, where today we've got a 40-lap main event with some of the world's greatest cyclists.
The flag is down, and they are off and they are rolling.
Williams pops on top! Jones, a close second.
Smith digs in right behind him.
It's a good day for bike racing.
COLT".
Now, how was I to know there was a big race that day on the motorcycle track? HEARN".
An automobile onto the 'track.
Ladies and gentlemen, we do not understand this.
We have no knowledge of it.
It is a blue Mercedes.
What he's doing on the track, I': can only cause a collision.
But now another car, a white Corvette.
And the two cars have taken over the track as the cyclists have gone into the pits for refuge.
This is something that you'll never see again.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime affair.
The cars leave the track now.
Maybe we'll get our racing under way once again.
But now they're right back onto the track! You stay back, ladies and gentlemen.
This could be very, very perilous as things unwind.
And now, like a wall, the dust surrounds both cars.
And if I didn't know better, I'd think these guys were stunt drivers.
Look at that! A flying Mercedes! Over the top of the roadblock, consisting of two police cars! In the stands, ladies and gentlemen, I know you're appreciating all of this, but I'll have to admit this announcer is totally dumbfounded! Colt, why are we heading back into town? No reason not to, Cassie.
I enjoy a quiet drive.
You're crazy.
You're all crazy! They do say that about stunt people, you know.
JORDAN: All right, enough! CASSIE: Actually, I'll bet there's one thing that might make Colt stop.
- What's that? - Tell me who killed Vince Allen.
HOWIE: Colt, the wall! Hold it! Only if you tell me what I want to know.
All right.
Look, I was trying to stop Vince Allen from cheating me.
Gary took care of it in the best way he knew how.
What about Tab Hunter? We needed somebody to pin it on.
That's what.
- You'll tell all this to the police? - Yes, I will tell them anything.
As long as you keep your foot off that gas pedal.
Well, like we always say, Cassie, a good stunt will get them every time.
(IMITATING BOGIE) You're the greatest, sweetheart.
Well, with Jordan and Holder's gambling operation shut down, and them up for murder, well, Palm Springs will be a whole lot sunnier.
And that's how my life's going to be, too.
- What does that mean? - Well, I hope it means he's learned his lesson.
Oh, I have, I have.
No more gambling for me, Colt.
Colt, could I see you for a minute? Next time I get a few extra bucks, I'll I know, I think I'll invest in the movies.
- I thought you said no more gambling.
- Well, you know.
I didn't mean to drag you away from your friends, but I wanted to talk to you.
Well, actually, Cassie, I'm kind of glad you did.
There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about.
I know, I know.
But it wouldn't work, Colt.
Not right now.
(STAMMERING) What wouldn't work? Well, I know how you feel about me, Colt, and I've grown really fond of you, too.
But I can't enter into a real relationship now.
'Cause I've got a lot of growing to do.
I've been pretty bull-headed, diving into things and making believe that I wasn't scared of anybody.
Because of it, I almost got us all killed.
That's no way to treat my friends, Colt.
No way to treat myself.
You know, Cassie, you've got an awful lot of spirit.
And believe me, spirit's a hell of a lot more important than size.
Having diabetes hasn't held me back.
I've already shown that.
And there's nothing else I have to prove.
Not as long as I know that somebody like you cares about me.
Thank you, Colt.
Well, like the lady said, (IMITATING BOGIE) "Sweetheart, if you need me,just whistle.
" And you know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together, and blow.
(BLOWING AIR) (BLOWING AIR) (BLOWING AIR) It's okay, I'll buy you a whistle.