The Golden Palace (1992) s01e01 Episode Script

The Golden Palace

1 ooh-ooh-ooh thank you for bein' a friend travel down the road and back again your heart is true you're a pal and a confidante and if you threw a party invited everyone you knew you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say thank you for bein' a friend thank you for bein' a friend thank you for bein' a friend thank you for bein' a friend Captiong made possible by witt/thomas/harris productions, cbs television network, And 1992 nci caption club/ grantsmanship Careful.
Careful, you gorilla.
Please! Please! Be careful.
What's the matter with you? My beloved husband's ashes are in there.
No, wait.
This one's got hard candy.
Goodbye, blanche's bed.
Boy, if beds could talk.
That one would have laryngitis.
I can't believe it.
We've spent so many wonderful years in this house, And now we're moving.
Hey! Hey, you kids, Get away from that.
They want to see the bed.
Nights it has known.
The loves it has seen.
There have been so many.
Doctors, lawyers Indian chiefs.
What? You know, doctor, lawyer, indian chief, Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief.
Actually, not an indian chief, But an indian rights' activist.
And rich men, oh, yeah.
Poor men, unfortunately.
Beggars I had 'em all begging.
I can't.
I can't.
I just can't do it.
Please, put that back.
Rose, rose.
No, stop.
Rose, honey.
Blanche, no.
This house is my whole life.
Everything I have, everything.
To buy a hotel? Come on.
Come over here.
I have nothing else.
I could end up on the street.
I can't breathe.
I can't get a breath.
Sophia, give me a paper bag.
Am I the a&p? Do I have paper bags? Give me that one right there.
Now, rose, I want you to breathe deeply, Exhale fully.
Exhale fully.
You're hyperventilating.
That's all.
I learned this from a psychiatrist Who used to hyperventilate in bed.
That better? I can breathe now.
O.
K.
Give me a milk dud.
There's some in that bag.
Listen to me.
You're being hysterical and irrational.
You're not throwing away your life.
You're changing it.
Is there a toffee in there? You're moving into a lovely place that'll run itself.
No toffee.
She must've inhaled it.
But it's a hotel.
We don't know how to run a hotel.
What do you think this place was? A big old house, people coming and going.
In your room.
I don't think I can leave.
Trust me, honey.
You're leaving.
Roland.
[bell rings] Roland.
[ding] Roland.
[ding] Roland.
[ding ding ding] Oliver.
Please, I'm trying to work.
The new owners are arriving And that group of 20 travel agents.
I want things looking good even if they're not.
What if they toss me? Listen, buddy.
I'm your foster parent.
Nobody's going to toss you.
It's me we got to worry about.
They're not going to care That I'm good at my job.
I heard they own a chain of successful hotels.
They'll want to bring in their own people.
I got to work.
I just want you to know If I'm on the street, it's on your head.
What's that, the curse of the lost boys? [ding] We're here! I can only offer you one night.
There's a convention coming in tomorrow.
Do you have any idea who we are? The pointer sisters.
I don't care.
We are the new owners.
Of what? This place.
And welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I was just saying How much I was looking forward to meeting you.
And look at you.
They said the new owners were gorgeous, But I had no Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Let me see the manager.
Well, you're looking at him.
Then let me see the director.
How do you do? Then let me see whoever the guy is That runs the place.
Why do I get the feeling You've never been in the hotel business? Ma'am, have you spent much time in hotels? Ho! You got any experience? Ho ho! How hard can it be? We've run a house.
For 42 people who want their sheets changed daily.
We've got 20 travel agents coming in tomorrow.
They can make or break this place.
What am I worried about? You've had a truly unique experience.
You've run a house.
[Telephone rings] Reception.
Mr.
Sinclair.
You still haven't got those towels? Well, I'm surprised.
I sent somebody up 10 minutes ago.
Yes.
A rather charming young black man.
Why don't you give him another 30 seconds? All right.
All right.
Excuse me.
Um All right, let's start.
Sophia, you go talk to the kitchen staff.
I want checked pants and a chef's hat.
Rose, you go talk to the housekeeping staff.
Okey-dokey.
Oh, and, rose.
No st.
Olaf stories.
You're right.
Let's make them wait.
Hi.
I'm oliver.
Well, hello, oliver.
I'm blanche devereaux, the new owner.
What are you doing with our towels? Delivering them to the rooms.
Delivering them? Do you work here or stay here? Both.
Where's your mama? Actually, she split.
Well, then where's your daddy? Prison.
Manslaughter.
Manslaughter? And my mom, she was a drunk.
She'd wake up every morning with a hangover.
And another uncle of mine.
I'm throwing myself at your mercy.
Please let me stay.
That's out of the question.
My life's in your hands.
I go to school.
I do good work.
No, I'm sorry, but no.
I guess I was wrong.
I was hoping a woman as young as you Cod relate to my problem.
Well [telephone rings] Allow me, ma'am.
Oh.
Reception.
Yes, she is.
O.
K.
There is no housekeeping staff.
A lady named sophia wants you immediately In the kitchen.
Oh.
Thank you.
Come on, rose.
Come on.
I love restaurant kitchens, don't you? Everything's so big.
Big in a kitchen does not excite me, rose.
That's it.
Everybody out of my kitchen.
Wait just a minute.
What's your name? Chuy castillos.
Chuy, this isn't your kitchen.
We own this hotel.
Yes.
Oh, right.
The old lady told me that one.
Ha ha ha.
Look, I'm the chef here, and everything you've heard About angry mexican chefs is true.
Run from me as fast as your legs will take you.
How do like this so far? You heard me.
Get out of my kitchen.
Hold it, hold it.
I run the kitchen.
I'm the boss.
You're the boss? Ha! I've broken piñatas bigger than you.
Listen, I'm the boss here.
Ask roland, the manager.
He made promises to me.
When one man makes another man promises, Well, it can go one of two ways.
I've been here over a month, And I've been building up the business.
I make some of the finest mexican dishes.
Forget it.
From now on, we cook italian.
The only way you're making a pizza here Is if you put beans and jalapeños on top And call it nachos.
I'm in charge here, And I say we cook italian.
And I say I quit.
Ha! Uh Wait, wait.
I don't have to cook italian.
[door slams] You can't get me out of it? You're my lawyer.
You got me into it.
The 27th? That's in a week.
Oh! How could you have made a mistake like this? What do you mean haitian law is different? I just can't believe this.
The profits weren't real.
No.
The owners fired everybody.
They just kept me, chuy, and a part-time maid.
On paper, it looked like they were making a profit.
They spruced the place up so they could sell it.
If these travel agents are anything less than happy, We won't make our bank note, And we're going to lose this place.
And I'm back at disney world Strapping on the sneezy head.
God, now I have to break the news to the girls.
They said you were very successful, That you were part of a chain.
The only kind of chain I was ever part of I ain't going to tell you about.
This is a piece of cannoli.
I used to cater funerals in sicily.
It wasn't that difficult.
A couple of days before, You get tipped off, you start cooking.
Girls.
Oh, I'll just come back later.
Come on in, blanche.
Wee making sauce.
We have a little problem here.
See, except for roland and that little boy And, um, one part-time maid, We're the only ones here.
We'll hire.
We don't have the money.
What? She means we're up the creek.
Mahula.
Bust.
We have a dog here.
Where? Here.
The hotel.
There's no money.
We have nothg? If we don't make the payment in a week, We'll lose this place.
Oh, my god.
Oh, this is it.
This is my worst nightmare.
Oh, I wish dorothy were here.
Even she couldn't help us out of this.
But she could beat the crap out of you! You said, "let's buy a hotel, girls.
"run a little inn.
"guests will come from miles around.
"we'll never be lonely.
"we'll be rich, we'll be happy, We'll be featured in travel and leisure.
" Listen here! We did this together.
How could you do this to us? I didn't do it.
We all did it.
I know you're a little angry, But we have to make this work.
It's the only chance we have.
Don't you understand? If we can just somehow get through this week, We can pay that note And get those travel agents to recommend us.
But we have no employees.
Then we'll have to do all the work.
We're too old.
We're too old to work that hard.
I hate you for this, blanche.
I just hate you.
We're too old to lose everything, So get to work.
There, that's the spirit.
Oh, you'll see.
We'll all band together.
We'll be just like the three musketeers.
By the end of this week, You're going to say, "thank god for blanche devereaux.
"this was her wonderful idea.
Blanche devereaux delivered us into this land of glory.
" Maybe we don't need dorothy.
Maybe the two of us Can beat the crap out of her.
I've been carrying you for more than a month.
Is something a problem here? Hello.
I'm the new owner blanche devereaux.
And you must be Oh, my god, don't tell me.
Wait a minute.
I know.
I've seen you a million times on television.
Um, oh, I'm just dying.
This is the pool man brad.
Brad.
Oh, my goodness.
I love that name.
Brad! Oh! Well, brad.
Do you, uh, Do you service the pool yourself? Oh, yes, ma'am.
I'd be seeing you every week? Yes, ma'am.
Oh, I'm so glad.
Lying tramp.
UhNow, where were we? There's just this small problem about With the payment.
Oh, I know.
I know.
The funds haven't been transferred from the escrow account Into the non-escrow account.
Well, the account being swiss Well, you're a pool man.
You probably know all about international banking.
Oh.
Well, just a little bit.
Slut.
Could you let us have just one more month? I would personally see to it That you're very well taken care of.
Well Guess another month wouldn't hurt.
Depends on how rough you are, darling.
That travel agent said this tastes funny.
Same one who complained about the salad? Right.
No one else has complained.
He didn't like this lamb chop, Maybe he'll like this one.
I'm the chef.
I cannot tell you how embarrassed I am That our new waitress served you that lamb chop.
I'm so very, very sorry.
Well, it was slightly dry.
Of course, the center should've been pink.
Dry? Pink? The cat spit it on the floor And went to the fontainebleu.
The other one wasn't so terrible.
It just didn't have the je ne sais quoi.
The quoi.
I know.
Missing completely.
Now, this is good.
Where's the safe? Oh, my.
Aren't you warm in that? We wore those in minnesota Only on the coldest days.
Where's the safe? Oh, you want to put your gun in the safe.
It would never fit in those small room safes.
The safe! I don't know where the safe is.
I'll call our manager roland.
No! That's o.
K.
He won't mind.
Roland, I'm sorry to wake you.
But we have a guest Who wants to put something in the safe.
I don't know where the safe is.
Silly me.
Uh-huh.
Uh, oh, o.
K.
Thanks so much.
It'll just be a few minutes.
Could I ask you a question? The mask is a tip-off, But are you a first-time visitor to miami? What about the safe? Roland's on his way down.
Where are you going? The carlton.
25 dinners in 3 hours.
I need help.
I'm back.
Dorothy? Oh, it's you, munchy.
The name's chuy.
Munchy was just a nickname.
What do you want? I want my job back.
I'm going through a messy divorce, And my ex-wife got everything-- The house, the savings.
You're breaking my heart.
Come on, please.
I'm tired of sleeping in the car.
Sleeping in it isn't bad.
It's entertaining that's impossible.
You'll have to do better than that.
Well, I I don't know how to say this, but I'm attracted to you.
You're in.
We can give you your old salary and a room.
We'll cook a little your way, a little my way.
But you got to really pretend you're attracted to me.
You got it, beautiful.
You're a really kind lady to take me back.
How's everything in here? I feel pretty Oh, god, I'm bushed.
Yeah, it's like the old days for me Back on the farm.
We used to work so hard.
My mother, my father, All us kids.
That's how we'd spend our lives.
And then we'd die.
Oh.
Girls, we did it.
We paid the debt.
We have another month.
We have enough to hire more help And those travel agents Said they'd recommend this place.
We did it! Are you still ticked-off at me? Will you knock it off? I'm tired of this behavior.
You were in this as much as I was.
You worked hard.
You had fun.
You were happy.
Admit it.
We were.
You almost killed me.
Nothing could kill you.
Well, too much corn.
You know what this means? We have a new life ahead of us.
I know.
I don't think I've felt this good Since before my girls left home.
My favorite thing was turning their bed down And tucking them in And making sure they were feeling safe.
I turned down 42 beds every night this week.
It was all I could do Not to go back and tuck everybody in.
I felt like I had a purpose again.
Well, I'm 88 and-- You're 87.
You're 87.
What? O.
K.
I'm 87.
Dorothy is gone.
My friends are either dead Or they fall asleep while we're talking.
I haven't digested an onion in 20 years.
So why go on? I went on because every morning I woke up alive.
Now I wake up Because I got to make ravioli.
I'm busy.
I got stuff.
Yeah, that's it.
We all got stuff now.
New stuff.
Hey To happiness.
To life.
To us! Yeah.
Captioned by the national Traditionally, we sit here, eat cheesecake, And bare our souls.
And sometimes I tell a story About my hometown st.
Olaf.
St.
Olaf.
Hmm.
Sounds fascinating.
Tell us about it.
Rookies.