The Golden Palace (1992) s01e02 Episode Script

Promotional Considerations

1 ooh-ooh-ooh thank you for bein' a friend travel down the road and back again your heart is true you're a pal and a confidante and if you threw a party invited everyone you knew you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say thank you for bein' a friend thank you for bein' a friend thank you for bein' a friend witt/thomas/harris productions, cbs television network, And 1992 nci caption club/ grantsmanship I just finished hosing out the dumpster And cleaning up the back alley.
Well, thank you, oliver.
I appreciate your pitching in like that, As long as it doesn't affect your schoolwork.
Maybe I'll make you our custodian supervisor.
Oh, I get it.
Handing out titles instead of raises? Well, I'm not biting.
The old lady said she'd make it worth my while If I did some extra work.
That's right, and I wasn't kidding.
Here you go.
A nice, new, shiny quarter.
Hey, thanks.
Now I can call the child labor board.
I'll give you $5.
00 later.
Check with me before you do extra chores.
We have to watch what we spend.
Good morning.
What's up? I was telling oliver we have to drum up some business.
I have an idea.
Ha ha! Ha ha! I said I have an idea.
Ha ha! Ha ha! O.
K.
, rose.
What's your idea? In order to drum up business, we should advertise.
Something like fliers.
Yeah, fliers are cheap.
Print some up and put them on car windows.
That's how dorothy found out about shady pines.
My daughter put me in a home That was advertised on a flier.
Isn't that sad? You're not getting this quarter back.
I'm sorry, rose, honey, but I don't like fliers.
It doesn't have to be fliers.
We just have to write "golden palace" On something everybody sees.
What do you say, blanche? You up for another tattoo on your butt? Blanche, I need to talk with you.
Don't we even get a good morning, mr.
Grumpy? I'm sorry.
Good morning.
You can do better than that.
I used to be grumpy in the morning.
Then I promised to start each day with a happy song.
And it works.
Something like red, red robin Or zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
You want to see a black man walking around theobby Singing zip-a-dee-doo-dah? Unbelievable.
Blanche, you're working the front desk Between 2:00 and 5:00 while I do inventory, right? That's right.
I'll take over at 3:00.
Ken mcgowan, who writes that syndicated column for the times, Is checking in today.
He is? I want to make sure nothing goes wrong.
I'd feel more comfortable checking him in.
I appreciate that, But I'd rather handle it myself.
Why don't you let me? The person in charge ought to check him in.
I have an idea.
Ha ha! Ha ha! No.
Really In this case, I should be the one-- You heard my decision.
Fine.
Do what you want.
Well, thank you.
Wasn't that a little rough? You know how sensitive roland is, And we can't run this hotel without him.
I know, but sometimes roland takes too much for granted.
He's got to learn that I own this hotel.
You mean we own this hotel.
Yeah, yeah.
We, we.
You're right on time.
.
Let's roll.
What are y'all doing? Handing out fliers with talking prune.
Oh.
I told you not to tell people my indian name.
Wait a minute.
These fliers have coupons for free margaritas.
Yeah.
The plan is, they come here, Get loaded, we take their car keys, Then they have to check in.
It's part of my "get drunk and wake up in a strange hotel, america" campaign.
[ring] You're not handing those out-- Golden palace.
You can't stop me.
You're checking in that v.
I.
P.
He's got homework.
So he'll repeat one year.
Blanche, guess what? I went to the television station To check on advertising rates for the hotel.
We can't afford that-- Listen.
I ran into an old friend Who's producing the barbara legrant show.
The afternoon talk show.
Anyway, we struck a deal.
Starting today, they'll plug the hotel on tv.
We just have to put up the guests from their show.
You did this without checking with me? I had to act fast.
Lots of hotels were after this.
I thought you'd be happy.
I am.
I just wish you'd checked with me first.
I do check with you first.
That's why I didn't run right out and buy the hotel mascot.
Mascot? For the slogan I came up with.
"the golden palace.
Not a baa-ad place to stay.
" Listen to me.
No sheep, rose.
"no sheep, rose.
" That's all I ever hear from you.
Who told sophia to hand out these fliers on the corner? She got away from me.
It's hard to maintain the hotel's classy image With an old lady and kid going, "check it out.
" I'll take care of it later.
Are you through with inventory already? You said the person in charge Should check in mr.
Mcgowan.
Since you obviously aren't in charge-- Oh, wait a minute.
Are you saying I cannot run a hotel? I make important decisions every day.
I'm not looking for a fight.
Who's ken mcgowan anyway-- Some hack writer for a two-bit tabloid? I'm ken mcgowan.
And I'm a fan.
Nice to see you again, mr.
Mcgowan.
I have a reservation.
Yes, indeedy, you do.
I've put you in room 302, our largest suite.
O.
K.
What about 306? It has a lovely ocean view.
O.
K.
306 also faces the street.
Besides, I've sent a basket of fruit up to 302.
O.
K.
Perhaps mr.
Mcgowan would like some iced champagne.
I have a coupon for a free margarita.
O.
K.
O.
K.
I'll show you both rooms, And you can judge for yourself.
O.
K.
Just follow me, please, mr.
Mcgowan.
Did you see that? He usurped me.
[telephone rings] Golden palace.
Yes, she is.
Rose? It's a jason from unusual pets.
Well, I can't imagine what this is.
Probably a wrong number.
Cancel the sheep.
Yo, oliver.
Can you get me some steaks? Yeah, sure.
Thanks.
Mmm.
That bread smells good.
Where did you learn to cook? When I was 18, I went to the fashion institute of technology.
You see, I had this dream.
I wanted to design clothes, Make an impact, redefine the male image.
Also, I drew number seven in the draft lottery.
So I learned to cook in the service.
Well, here you go.
Well, thanks.
Man, this is frozen solid.
Sophia put all the meat back in the freezer To make room for the margarita mix.
She's expecting a rush on it tonight.
See you later.
Doesn't sophia know when you defrost meat You have to cook it? If you refreeze it, people could get sick-- maybe even die.
I'm ready to help.
How about I make a hamburger first? Chuy! All the meat was ruined to make room for your margarita mix.
So call the butcher and order some meat.
[mimicking sophia] call the butcher and order some meat.
Yeah, I could do that.
Jose, it's chuy down at the golden palace.
I need some meat for tonight.
I don't care what it costs.
What's going on? I don't care about special delivery charges.
Hang up that phone.
Wait.
The boss is giving me a dirty look.
Not roland.
The lady I told you about.
[laughing] Yeah, that one.
Ha ha ha! I got to go.
Chuy, I told you, Anything you order has to be initialed by me first.
Blanche, you're supposed to be at the front desk.
I'm not in a good mood.
Have you tried singing zip-a-dee-doo-dah? There you go! It's not 4:30 yet.
My shift's not over till 5:00.
It's almost time for our tv promo.
We got a plug on the barbara legrant show.
We're putting up her guests.
That'll really help our business.
Blanche thought I should check with her first.
Me, too.
She said to check with her first.
Just go back to the old way of doing things.
That's twice you've usurped me! Any other problems, chuy, come to me.
Thrice! I got work to do.
Oh.
Roland, I'm talking to you.
Will you please listen to me? Ah, roland.
Blanche, look.
You're always on our backs.
Just Lighten up a little.
You're forgetting that I own this hotel.
We! Yeah, yeah.
We.
But I'm the boss.
Don't contradict me.
Before this gets worse, Take a break while I cool off.
Come here.
Our promo's on.
Guests of the barbara legrant show Stay at the lovely golden palace hotel in miami.
Maybe this wasn't a bad idea, rose.
Thanks for watching.
Tune in tomorrow when our topic is "men who kill and are set free.
" Excuse me.
I'm doing the barbara legrant show tomorrow.
Could I get my room, please? See her.
I'm on my break.
Did you say you're doing the babarbara legrant show? I'm a guest on the show tomorrow.
I'm nervous.
I need a room that's very quiet.
Our rooms are quiet.
Not so quiet you wouldn't hear somebody screaming for help.
Give me a room away from people.
You see, I'm a loner.
Nothing wrong with being a loner--rose! Come and help me check in mister, uh, um Cosay.
Gordon m.
Cosay.
And--and what does the "m" stand for? Macrae.
My parents were big fans of gordon macrae.
All my life I heard, "why can't you be more like gordon macrae?" How the hell are you supposed to be more like gordon macrae! I don't know.
I don't know.
May we help you with your bag? Please don't touch my things.
I hate it when people touch my things.
Don't touch his things, rose.
I didn't.
Don't worry.
We're putting you in room 312.
It's very quiet, mr.
Macrae.
Cosay! Macrae's just my stupid middle name.
I'm going to my room now.
Go.
Go with god.
[sighs] Chuy, the killer wants his steak, And he wants it right now.
I sent oliver out to get him one.
He won't wait much longer.
How about another margarita? I tried that.
He's worried what the salt will do to his blood pressure.
See if he wants some nachos.
It's meat, man! We need meat! O.
K.
Look.
I'll go out and reason with him, o.
K.
? Even a nut can understand I can't cook him a steak if I don't have one.
I'll have him order something else.
[gordon yelling] where's my meat? We need meat, man.
Meat.
Meat.
I'm going to get some meat.
I bet three.
You're bluffing, grandma.
I don't see any fruit.
Hmm All right.
I call.
Pair of 9s.
Three 3s.
Mama's going to bake herself a pie.
Want another one? Yeah, sure.
Why not? What's going on? Sophia got my pot.
She's a good cook.
She'll use it well.
Not that pot.
The other kind.
What in the hell is going on here? We were playing poker, and she won.
What do you think? Oh! Wait a minute! Blanche, I'm shocked.
Do I look like the kind of guy That would smoke marijuana? Well, no.
Damn straight, no.
Here you go.
How many have you had? Seven.
Seven! That's too much tequila.
There's no tequila in this.
I'm whacked out on blood sugar.
Whee! I'm so glad you're all here.
I can't sleep with that man in this hotel.
Me neither.
Not because I'm scared.
I'm so mad at roland.
I'm mad at you all, too.
What did we do? You're not supporting me.
Do you realize How important this hotel is to me? I've always wondered what it would be like To run my own business.
I remember when I was younger And wanting my own business.
I sat myself down and I said, "what am I really good at That would make me lots of money?" Ooh, ooh! It had to be something I enjoyed doing.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! And something that would benefit mankind.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! And of course it had to be legal.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Did you ever go into business, sophia? I rented out our apartment in brooklyn.
I put a sign outside, that read, "see dorothy.
World's biggest baby.
25 cents.
" Charlie and I were going to start a business once.
We'd been to washington, d.
C.
, And spent all our money getting the rights To run the gift shop at the white house.
A private citizen can't run a gift shop there.
I know, I know.
All right, I know.
So you see, blanche, we've all had our dreams.
We all want the hotel to work, especially roland.
You're getting mad at him for wanting what you want.
Roland's young.
He has plenty of time for his dreams.
He ought to apologize to me.
I'm going to bed.
Would you look in on oliver? Yeah, sure.
Roland? Uh, hi.
It's me.
Would you check on oliver and make sure everything's o.
K.
? Thanks.
What are you doing, rose? Putting our hotel back together.
[knock on door] it's open.
Hi.
I just came by to say good night.
Thananks.
Can we talk? Sure.
What do you want to talk about? Why do you hate roland? Well, oliver, I don't hate roland.
We're just having a little misunderstanding.
I just want what's best for this hotel.
Doesn't roland want that, too? I mean, why wouldn't he? This is our home.
Yeah, it is, isn't it? [knock on door] Hey, oliver.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just came to say good night.
Aren't you going to go after him? Yeah, yeah.
I know when I'm licked.
Roland Come over here.
You want me to check with you If I want to say good night to oliver? I'm his foster parent.
I should be allowed to say good night to him.
You certainly know a lot about the hotel business.
Why don't you continue doing what you were doing Before I started my little reign of terror.
That's it? What do you mean, that's it? I don't even rate an apology? That was my apology.
Excuse me.
No.
That was, "I may have been wrong, "but now the hotel's falling apart, Could you go back to running it?" Could I get some ice, please? I overreacted, didn't I? I'm sorry.
Sometimes I can come off a little, um A little weird? You come off weird.
Talk to people.
Don't yell all the time.
That's some good advice.
Lady, can I give you some? Uh, yeah.
Come here! Everybody needs to be needed.
Just tell him that you need him.
Do it! I need you.
I need you, too.
Aah! Sweet dreams.
Oh! Oh! Oh! You were just great.
No.
You were better.
Listen, I meant what I said.
I think maybe in my quest to make this hotel work, I sometimes forget to tell people around me How much I need them.
I do need you, roland, and I apologize.
I accept.
Thank you, And I apologize, too.
O.
K.
I'm really glad you stopd by To tell oliver good night.
I have to admit, I was a little scared.
There's nothing to be scared about.
[gordon] ice headache! Aah! Ice headache! Run this way! Run! Oh! Look who's up.
Good afternoon, sleepyhead.
How's that sugar hangover? Dry up, you round-heeled mattress queen.
What a zip-a-dee- doo-dah day! Good afternoon, sophia.
I'm going to hurl.
The barbara legrant show's coming on.
Don't you want to see our guest? Yeah.
That poor man.
He was kind of sad when you think of it.
And welcome.
Today's topic, "men who kill and are set free.
" Just look at him.
That poor sad scared thing.
My first guest is from the gainesville prison for the criminally insane.
Head psychiatrist dr.
Gordon m.
Cosay.
Do you believe that? He's a psychiatrist.
I guess I didn't make such a stupid mistake after all.
[gordon] murderers need a stress-free environment.
I want to say to the killers on the panel, If you're looking for a place to relax, I highly recommend the golden palace.