The Healing Powers of Dude (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

Middle School Musical

1 I still can't believe Valerie Stevens talked to you.
Easily the coolest woman of my life.
Don't you mean my life? I can see our future now.
First, we all hang at Valerie's exclusive Halloween party, then double wedding.
Uh, feels like you skipped a couple steps, but sure.
Who knows if Valerie even likes me? Maybe she's just into band shirts.
Valerie just followed me on Instagram? Wait, I still have Instagram? Thought Embry deleted my account.
You're on the Gram? You mean we could've been DMing this whole time? - I'm gonna delete it for real.
- Don't.
Valerie following you means she likes you for more than just your shirt.
Right.
I think I'm just gonna try to keep the vomit down.
Should've learned by now to have Pepto-Bismol on us at all times.
Now the only thing you have to do is figure out what to post so she can like it repost it to all of her followers, and then fall madly in love with you.
Oh, that's it? Hey, they're posting the cast list for E.
T.
2: The Musical.
Let's go.
Valerie followed you, huh? Instagram's a bit basic for me.
Basic? IG's where I get all my best fashion tips.
- I mean, that's where I got my - Shh.
Shh.
It's time.
Now no pushing, everyone.
Oh.
Out of my way.
Lead of the show coming through.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
I'm in the the chorus? Excuse me.
Mrs.
Wakowski.
- Excuse me.
- Amara.
Yes.
Why didn't I get the lead? Whoa.
That's direct.
Well, although you did a great job singing, so lovely it's a musical with, um, a lot of - And? - And Tinsley can sing and dan You know, um she just seemed like a better fit for the part of Gertie.
You're going to be great in the ensemble, though.
Remember, there are no small parts, only small actors.
Conway, stop frenching the water fountain.
Selah, does the floor look like a recycling bin to you? - Brian, pull your pants up.
- Here comes Principal Butt.
Ach.
Well, hello, gentlemen.
I'm sure you're wondering why I'm not my usual easy-breezy self.
Well, the fourth highest-rated local news network is coming here to shoot a feature on our school.
- Wait, aren't there only four? - I think there's only three.
Just make sure you all have this place looking top-notch.
Okay? That goes for you, too, Dude.
Don't make me ban you from other parts of this school.
One look at those gigantopores, and the camera's gonna ban you from TV.
Ah.
Hey.
So what did Mrs.
Wakowski say? Turns out the other girl was just better.
Uh, I got to go.
See you later.
Yeah.
See you.
Amara's upset.
I thought she seemed okay.
No.
She left without insulting me, and I'm wearing light-up shoes.
They're cool, right? All right.
A soy latte for my darling daughter.
A decaf mocha for my cutie pie Embry.
A hot cider for my número uno Noah.
And a puppucino for my favorite dog Dude.
Oh, you're an angel.
Wh-Wh-Where's the drink for your charming son-in-law? You know who would've made a charming son-in-law? Jules Hirshcorn.
He's an orthodontist.
I get the feeling your mom wishes you hadn't married an artist.
What makes you say that? - Well, I'll just get my own coffee.
- Mm.
Don't confront her around hot liquids.
Noah.
Did that look as awkward as it felt? Well, your hand did fly across the cafe, so, yeah.
What's up? Uh, not much.
Uh, that's not English.
So, I started following you.
At least I think I did.
- You don't have any posts.
- Yeah, that's him all right.
Hi.
I'm Embry Ferris, Noah's much cooler sister.
Hey.
Love your outfit.
Thank you.
You know, I'm actually a fashion designer, and Well, I look forward to your first post.
Later.
Embry, we got to go.
Work emergency.
Hey, have an awesome day, kiddo.
There's something off about this coffee.
That's probably my mom's spit.
I showed a client of mine, who's a gallery owner, photos of your work, and he's coming to check out your statue.
Love you.
Go.
Go.
Wait.
What? Uh, you know, I-I-I hate to brag, uh, but it was me, not the board, who raised the funds for our new gym.
Honestly, I would've won Principal of the Year, but Principal Johnson had cancer.
Wow, okay.
Um So I heard that you have an emotional-support dog here at the school.
I'd really love to include him in the piece.
Really? - Yeah.
- Huh.
Uh, okay.
Uh, listen, if you're if you're interested in animals, I could have my cat walker bring Lord Dingwall by.
Yes, he's an award-winning Scottish Fold.
Did you know that the Scottish Folds used to be called Lops? Or I I could go get Dude.
- I'll do I'll do that.
- All right, yeah.
Noah.
Hey, pal.
How's it going? Actually, this girl started following me on Instagram, and then Simon just texted me he signed us up to be crew on the musical.
Okay, that was a lot more than I was expecting.
Do you remember yesterday when I mentioned a reporter was coming? Oh, right.
That's why you're wearing makeup.
Well, you're never gonna believe this, I certainly didn't, but he really wants to meet your dog.
Well, well, well.
First you want me to stay out of your way, and now you need me.
Um, well, I actually have to go to the musical rehearsal right now, so Okay.
Well, you know what? Maybe I could just borrow him.
I'll be super-quick.
There's no way I'm helping you look good.
But maybe I could help you look not good.
Okay, I'm in.
- Whoa.
- Oh, he does seem happy to go with you.
Okay, I guess you can take him for a little bit.
Great.
Thank you.
Heh.
You have no idea what you just got yourself into.
So, how does us doing manual labor help Amara exactly? A of all, she can see how swole I am building sets.
Secondly, we can be close to her to make sure she's doing okay.
All right, let's move this fake tree so I can get back to figuring out my post.
Valerie's expecting something epic, so no pressure.
What did they know? What did they know? Set your eyes on the horizon Ooh.
Ow.
Hey.
That's the part Amara wanted.
I don't what that life at all Is it just me, or does Tinsley sound like a screaming goat? Simon, I don't know how much longer I could hold this tree.
Clearer up there - They say the sky's the limit - Ooh I have to do something.
Simon! There's the tree I was looking for.
They don't give you the time of day Principal Meyers, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Uh, well, I am Principal Meyers, which you just said, and I've been at Roosevelt for eight years.
I Actually, you know, I'd like to start with Dude.
I hear he's an emotional-support dog for one of your students here.
Correct? Yes, he is, but Dude and I have also formed a very special bond.
You know, he may not be my emotional-support dog, but at the same time, he also sort of is.
Okay, that's enough.
It's go time.
I wanted him to do that.
That's right, come to papa.
A-Anywho, there are many great things about our school, in particular our state-of-the-art gym.
Am I still on camera? 'Cause it looks like he - Yes.
- Everybody loves a dog doing yoga.
Here's a little Downward Dude.
You know, I actually played a lot of basketball back in my day.
They called me "Magic Fingers" Meyers.
So, which of these filters makes me look less uncomfortable? You guys talkin' filts? 'Cause, uh, I got some pretty hot takes.
Uh, that's okay.
Hold on.
You should hear him out.
My bro here needs to impress a girl.
Um well, I was thinking about posting a baby photo.
Okay, you gotta do, tsk, a Ludwig 34% contrast with a slight radial-tilt shift.
Wow.
You really know your stuff.
Post it, man.
Will she think this is cute or weird? That's so weird Weird Weird It's not even Thursday But it's always Thursday somewhere Jerry, shh.
That's not even true.
When the clouds are gray Just go above them Hope this works.
They say the sky's the limit But don't care Sky can't limit me Oh.
What-What-What is going on? Hey, get away from my board.
Did the music just get really fast? Did it? We should get back to moving trees.
He is.
Hi, honey.
Don't "hi, honey" me.
I've been spiraling all day about this gallery owner.
I'd hoped you'd gone through all the emotional stages by the time I got back, but I see you're still stuck on anger? I am not angry.
How could you do this to me? You didn't even ask me if the statue was finished.
Um, two days ago, you ran into the kitchen, stood on the table and screamed, "My statue is finished!" I can vouch for that.
You stepped in my lasagna.
Got a coffee for John.
Why is this so hard? Because it will decide whether or not Valerie ever talks to you again? Oh, thanks.
I feel so much better.
Mm-hmm.
Maybe she'd like an artsy post.
Yeah.
Okay, just need to hit share.
Just need to hit share.
Are you An insta sham? I don't know It looks pretty good to me.
Jerry.
I'm just trying to be supportive.
I don't want that life at all Second time's the charm.
Off of the land Into the a Stop! Stop! Stop! Why is there a moon swinging by Tinsley's face? I thought that rope was just gonna close the curtains.
I'm gonna have to call my therapist.
My show Hey.
Um, you're thirsty.
Me too.
Let's go.
It's been years since I exposed my work to criticism.
I don't think I can take it.
Oh, there's a bird.
I wish I was that bird so I could fly away.
Should we be concerned here? Mm, he's been doing this for about 23 minutes.
He still needs to hit rock bottom before he comes around.
Would the gallery guy be interested in any of this other junk Marvin made? - Mom.
- Has this been in the bathroom? No.
You're out of toilet paper.
I'll put it back in there.
Now he's hit rock bottom.
I I think once you actually see the gym, you'll have the same reaction I did, like, "Aah.
" That was my reaction.
Ah, what do we have here? A wonderfully gifted group of kids.
Heh.
Hi, guys.
My students are always so excited to see me.
We We saw each other already.
We did the whole Excuse me, young man hah we're in the middle of a serious interview here, so Wonder if he told them he's married to his cat? Care to comment on that? No.
Married to my my cat.
I, uh, um we just live together.
In a normal human-cat situation.
You know, we-we we haven't seen the gym yet, so we should Aah.
Gaah.
Oh, that We have fun here.
Simon, you want the rest of my smoothie? I need to focus on this post.
Yeah, sure, man.
Just put it there.
Oh, this could be a cool shot.
Okay.
Always reaching for new heights.
#inspo, three shooting-star emojis.
Valerie will totally like this.
Or will she? Is that too basic? I think it's basic It's just so basic Okay, fine.
It is too basic.
At 26,000 feet - It's hard to catch your - The sped-up music, the flying moon.
Simon, stop! higher But when you've got Your sight on stars Taking flight, going far What do they know? - What do they know? - Oh.
Who is responsible for this? Simon.
Maybe you should just say it was an accident and that those other two things were also accidents.
Simon.
Hey, what is your problem? I'm trying to help you get the lead.
Okay, my next plan involves strobe lights and a fog machine.
Are you two behind all these shenanigans? Ach.
Mrs.
Wakowski, I had nothing to do Amara I know that you're upset, but this is not an appropriate way to handle it.
You can't just ruin the show for everybody else.
It wasn't bad enough that I didn't get the lead, but you had to embarrass me in front of the whole cast? I think Amara just fell in negative love with me.
And those windows, you could see in and out, and, um, uh, interesting to note, I actually planted all of the trees here with my own bare hands, so I think he's taking a Hmm? But you're so small.
Okay.
Heh.
Shall we? Oh, so you're you're just gonna leave it.
Hmm? Yeah, Meyers.
Would be a real shame if one of your wonderfully gifted students stepped in it.
'Course not, no.
I I would never Um Just I'll never forget this.
Neither will I.
Babe, just wanted to let you know that I canceled the gallery owner.
What? Why? Because you were having a nervous breakdown? And also, a lot of people need to use the restroom.
The thing is, I haven't shown my work since that exhibit three years ago where an art critic called my stuff disturbing which turned out to be a compliment and I think that all the time off has made me worry that I lost my touch.
Well, I've seen your recent statue, and you haven't lost it.
I know the gallery owner will love it.
Or they'll hate it, and you'll swear off art for the rest of your life.
She really keeps me grounded.
I guess you should call your gallery guy and uncancel.
Ew, old people kissing.
Sorry, man.
I was obsessing over this post and didn't stop you from making a fool of yourself.
Yeah, way to go.
At 26,000 feet It's hard to catch your breath They say you can't go much higher Set your eyes on the horizon Get your head out of the clouds But I don't want that life at all Off of the land Into the air When the clouds are gray Just go above them Clearer up there They say the sky's the limit But I just don't care Skies can't limit me - Bravo.
- That was amazing.
Thanks.
I didn't know anyone was watching.
I am so sorry, Amara.
I didn't mean to embarrass you.
I just wanted you to be happy.
I know.
It was just Turbo being Turbo.
You clearly should've gotten the lead.
You're a better singer than Tinsley.
But Mrs.
Wakowski is too close-minded to see me in the part because I can't dance exactly like Tinsley.
But isn't it E.
T.
2: The Musical, not E.
T.
2: The Dancical? Hey, guess who picked up my dookie.
Oh, you guys are having a serious conversation.
My bad.
It was Principal Meyers.
I think I may know a way to make this right.
Off of the land Into the air She's so good.
How does she even do that? So cool that Valerie shared your post.
My best Gram only got two likes.
One from my mom, and one from what turned out to be not the real John Stamos.
I'm just happy Amara's getting the recognition she deserves.
Amara, the energy around your video is literally giving me goose pimples, which is why Miss Wakowski has something to say.
Clearly I've made a mistake.
You're an amazing singer, and I'm so ashamed of my behavior.
So since it wouldn't be fair to take the part away from Tinsley, I was thinking you and she could alternate nights as the lead.
I suppose it would be good for my voice to have a couple nights off.
- I'm in.
- Great.
Yes! I think this calls for a celebratory selfie.
- Okay.
- All right.
Nailed it.
No, retake.
I had a double chin.
Hmm, what is this pic missing? Hey, I just want to say how much it means to me that you posted that video.
Hey, guys.
Check it.
Aren't we just adorbs? #squadgoals, am I right? You guys make weird-looking dogs.
Look at me, nah-nah-nah-nah Got a whole lotta love, it's true Got a whole lotta love, it's true Hi, Noah.
Thanks for sharing my post! Not the best start, but keep going.
No biggie.
I just thought it was really cool that you did that for your friend.
Oh.
Thanks.
I don't know if you have plans, but do you and your crew want to come to my Halloween party? Come to your party?