The Healing Powers of Dude (2020) s01e06 Episode Script

Buried Treasure

1 Did you know a Sikorsky S-76 helicopter goes 178 miles per hour? Why would I know that? Oh, awful.
And that it has twin turbo-shaft engines, four-bladed rotors, and retractable landing gear? Babe, what are you doing right now? I'm prepping for your rich gallery owner.
Once I learn about helicopters, I'm moving on to yachts.
Charles is not coming to discuss his helicopters with you.
- He has more than one? - He's coming to look at your statue.
So just relax, okay? I have it all taken care of.
We don't want to give him a heart attack.
Trust me, the man loves meat.
That makes two of us.
Please drop one.
Please drop one.
And I am busting out huh the good plates.
- The good plates? - Hmm.
No pressure.
Everything makes you look sickly.
So what's the end game here? This rich guy puts Dad's statue in his gallery? - If he likes it.
- When he likes it.
I got invited to a Halloween party.
I already knew that.
If this is gonna be old-news exposition, I'm going outside.
- Whose party? - Are they responsible? Are they cool? Are they responsible? It's just this girl Valerie from school.
Don't need to make a big deal about it.
I'm not even sure I'm gonna go.
You have to go.
I've been trying to score an invite to one of Valerie Stevens's parties for years.
- You're nine.
- Your point? Goodbye, Embry.
I'm not kidding.
You better go to that party and make a good impression.
So, we meet again, ball.
Oh, it's gonna be like that, huh? Watch out.
I'm just gonna take my ball and, uh, get out of here.
What did you do? Before you get too upset, the ball was talking some major smack.
The gallery owner's coming today to see the statue.
This is the biggest moment of my dad's career.
Okay, here's what we do.
Create a time machine, then use it to make sure that balls were never invented.
It'll be just like Back to the Future.
- Just don't kiss your mom.
- [EMBRY.]
Noah! Your weird friends are here! Maybe Simon and Amara will know what to do.
Okay, so we're not doing the time machine.
Simon, for the hundredth time, I forgive you.
I get to be the leader of the musical.
It all worked out.
Okay, good.
And if you happen to see some skywriting later that says, "I'm sorry, Amara," it's totally for somebody else.
Amara forgives me.
Don't push it.
Hey, Noah.
Guys, I need your help with something major before my parents find out.
Way to go, Dude.
Like you've never broken a statue before.
It was an accident, but we have to fix it fast.
Simon, help me out.
Noah, don't stress.
I'm sure there's glue in here somewhere.
It's all gonna be okay.
And while you look for glue, I'll look for snacks.
What? I'm a growing boy.
Where's the broken piece? It should be right here.
No, no, no, no.
This can't be happening.
If we can't find the piece, then Then what? [HEART POUNDING.]
You call this art? Good day.
My career is over.
This is all the fault of Dude! To the pound with you! - I'm leaving you, Marvin.
- What? I could never be married to a failed artist.
I have to support the family now, so I've got a job at Waffle House.
None of that stuff is gonna happen but more importantly What is that? It looks like some kind of gemstone.
That's right, and there's only one dog in this neighborhood who would wear something so tacky.
Look! That dog next door must've taken the broken statue piece.
Yeah, but where is it? She probably buried in her yard.
Oh, because all dogs like to bury stuff.
A little stereotypical.
Oh, that reminds me.
I need to unbury Marvin's keys.
As if I wasn't already stressed enough about Valerie's party, - now I have to deal with this? - Hold up.
Are you telling me that you, Noah Ferris, got an invitation to the most epic Halloween party on the planet? - Yes.
- Oh, my God.
Valerie invited you to her house? That's awesome.
She actually invited all of us.
My vision board is coming true.
Whoa, oh, oh.
- I'm calm now.
- Okay, we don't have time for this.
One of you needs to dig through the backyard with Dude.
Can't do that.
And the other has to come with me to distract the neighbor by knocking on their door and talking to them nonstop.
Hand me the shovel.
What's going on? Well, we were just gardening? For a school science project.
- Michelle Obama says kids should - Save it.
You broke the statue? The gallery owner's on his way.
You want me to stall? - Yes, please.
- Okay.
Fix this mess quick.
I don't want Dad grounding you from the party.
Aw, she does care.
It might be the only one that you ever get invited to.
And she's back.
Do we really want to go to Valerie's party? I mean, I feel like we're too old for Halloween.
With my baby face? I'm gonna be raking in the Reese's well into my 30s.
Lovely image, but I still say we skip it.
Don't worry.
I'll carry you.
Simon, my chair weighs over 400 pounds.
Almost there.
Just go ring the doorbell.
Oh, thank God.
So we're clear on the plan? Clear as milk.
Milk isn't clear.
Yes? Hello, ma'am.
We are here To talk to you about killing the seals.
Saving the seals.
Saving the seals.
That was close.
This is it.
I'm about to go from law-abiding citizen to full-blown criminal.
Sneaking into a yard isn't exactly Breaking Bad.
Just have to rip off the Band-Aid.
I'm officially trespassing.
It gets easier the more you do it.
Serves him right for constantly getting me dirty.
Ooh, water.
Honestly, I can't remember ever doing anything intentionally wrong.
Except for this one time when I ordered a medium fry, and they accidentally gave me a large fry.
I said nothing.
I can't even look at fries now.
We shouldn't be here.
I-I can't be here! This is too dangerous.
What is wrong with that guy's face? [THUNDER RUMBLES.]
Start digging.
Don't worry, Noah.
I'll take care of this big bag of bones.
Oh, thanks, Dude.
We got to find that piece quick.
- It's going to be great.
- You're right.
You're right.
I should've parked my car down the block, because the guy with the helicopter's gonna scoff at my Subaru.
Where's my keys? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
What's up? I'm so sorry.
We've already donated to "Saving the Seals.
" That That's cool and all, but I'm from Charles Atwood's gallery.
Charles isn't coming? Nah, nah.
See, he owns the gallery.
I run it.
I'm the BMOC.
Logan McGrath.
- Come on in.
- All right, cool.
Yeah, thanks.
Okay, you stall while I look up what BMOC means, okay? Man, I am stoked to check this statue out.
My hot new gallery is thirsty for some abstract goodness.
Although, full disclose.
My brain thoughts are honest and unfiltered.
I hope you're prepared to have your brain thoughts blown away.
We can head to the statue now, if you want.
Who wants folded meat? - Who's this guy? - This is Logan.
He runs Charles' gallery.
- Hate to tell you this, but, uh I only eat fish.
I'm a pescetarian.
Oh, no worries.
We can just take off the meat.
Oh, good.
It's on the floor.
Actually, the meat has already touched everything, so I won't be able to eat any of that.
It's all falling apart.
I'm not down with cruelty to animals.
Fish are animals.
Well, what do you want me to do, like, not eat sushi? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, Ben Stiller's a pescetarian.
Weren't we just heading to the statue? Who wants carrots and tuna? - Nothing.
- You got anything, Dude? - Oh, I got something.
I got something.
I got a dirty corndog.
Eh, looks like Grumpy Pants also enjoys meat on a stick.
Valerie messaged me? Ooh, slid into your DMs.
Just like the bold flavor of this corndog.
"Forgot to mention that you can totally bring Dude to my party.
" Hope he wears a cute costume? I'm cute in anything.
Uhh, maybe I shouldn't have eaten that corndog.
- Uhh.
- [BOTH.]
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Oh, right.
You can't hear me.
I think he's had enough.
Logan, you know who else wears bomber jackets? Michael Douglas in Basic Instinct.
- What? - How did you get your phone back? - It's your phone.
Uh, can we go see the statue now? I just got word that Shia LaBeouf is doing an experimental puppet show at a laundromat.
Of course we can.
You can't see the statue.
Until you've heard about my dad's pilgrimage to artistic greatness.
Greatness? Wow.
That means a lot, sweetie.
But the Shia puppet show.
Yeah, those never start on time.
How would you know? Sit! Oh.
- Go ahead, Dad.
- Oh.
My teenage years.
Strap in.
This is about to get dark.
So with your help, little seals like Paco here will be free to swim the open waters eat fish, go to Halloween parties.
Or seals like Paco could enjoy a nice night at home where they don't have to spend time with annoying randos from school.
We still talking about Paco? I think seals like Paco would have a good time if they open themselves up to new experiences.
Well, I think seals like Paco know that bobbing for apples isn't something they're missing out on.
Do seals eat apples? But seals deserve to experience an epic Halloween party at least once in their lives.
Otherwise, how will they know what it's like to win a costume contest or find true love? - Or win a costume contest.
- You already said that.
The point is Lori that Paco deserves some life-changing magical movie moments.
Don't you agree? I don't even know what's happening right now.
Thank you for whatever this was.
I have a singles mixer at the Marriott to get ready for.
What do we do? - I don't know.
I don't want to let Noah down.
My uncle recently got a divorce.
And he's a plastic surgeon.
Why don't you tell me a little bit more about Paco? She wouldn't DM me if she didn't really want me there, right? For the millionth time, yes.
But if she really wants me there that means - that means - That she likes you.
that she likes me.
But why would she like me? You're kind, you have an awesome dog, and you're super-good at digging.
So let's find that statue piece.
Simon just texted that they can't stall much longer.
We've run out of spots to dig.
We should just give up.
There's still plenty more.
Oh, what's that? Nah, I just buried that.
I need water.
Oh, good.
Ugly-face guy brought friends.
Time's up, laddie.
If you can't find the treasure, treasure, then you're of no use to us, to us.
Don't listen to him, Noah.
It's all over.
My dad's career's ruined, Embry has to work at Waffle House, and Dude's off to the pound.
But I've gotten so accustomed to this upper-middle-class lifestyle.
Hold tight, Noah.
Not today, mutt.
Drop it.
Noah needs this.
And I'm not going back to the pound.
The pound? Well, I was sent to the pound once.
You? It was so cold, and the food it was non-organic.
It was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
You poor thing.
Take it before I change my mind.
- I'm coming, Noah.
You found it.
Let's go save Embry from Waffle House.
Hey, kiddo.
I-I really love the romper, but what does this have to do with my art? Dad, as your daughter, my designs are a reflection of your talent.
I only slay 'cause you slay.
Ach, Shia's using dryer sheets as puppets.
That's next level.
Just 12 more outfits.
Embry, can I speak with you? Now.
Look, bro.
If there's no statue, can you just level with me, please? I can't get catfished again.
What is going on with you? Dad's statue is broken, so I'm stalling till Noah can fix it.
Embry just texted me.
She's running out of rompers.
- Whatever that means.
- We gotta move.
You get the super glue.
I'll get the snacks.
Snacks again? What? I'm a growing boy! Found glue.
Found chips.
Veggie straws? Why bother? Whatever.
All right, glue that baby on.
Ah, it's not sticking.
This isn't gonna work.
Oh, man.
I'm so done for.
Don't worry, Dude.
I'll take the blame.
You'd do that? For me? But what if you get grounded? You won't be able to go to the party.
You want to go to the party now? Like you said magical movie moments.
Everybody step back.
It's Turbo time.
Ready? Okay, I've got this.
All righty.
I think-I think-I think I got it.
What? What did he do? Are you sure you don't want to see more fashion show? I was stabbing out there.
Never mind.
The only thing he wants to see is my statue.
So, Simon, could you just scoot yourself that way? Okay.
Uh, what's the deal with the bag of chips? Well, Logan, it's, uh Yes, clearly it's a - um - It's a metaphor.
For people's dependency on snack foods.
It also speaks to the hypocrisy of veggie straws masquerading as a healthy snack when they're essentially just potato chips shaped weird.
Okay, I don't know what happened here, but this bag isn't part of my statue, okay? Wow, it's really on here.
May I? - Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
It was supposed to look like this.
It represents this point in your life where you need to let go of the past and throw yourself into the future.
Bro that was incredible.
I felt it right here.
Guys Shia just took a nap in a warm pile of laundry.
So I got to bounce, but I will be in touch.
We are so gonna sell this thing for hella hundos.
Peace! Peace! Art! Heh heh.
Nobody saw that coming.
You did it.
Whoo-hoo! We did it! Dad, I'm really sorry.
It was an accident.
We were trying to fix the statue - and the glue wouldn't - It's okay.
I'm not mad now that he wants the statue.
But in the future, just tell the truth, okay? Well, let's go inside and celebrate by consuming all that floor meat.
Yeah! Thanks for having my back.
I just want to let you know that I've decided to give up balls.
It's a slippery slope.
Well, despite Simon's best efforts to mess everything up, - it all worked out.
- I'm trying to keep things interesting.
Well, I don't know what I would've done without you guys.
- We always got your back, Noah.
- Thanks.
So did you hear? Amara's down to go to the party.
I know.
I'm just not sure.
This party is the perfect setting for me to tell Amara that I like her.
And if you don't go, then I can't go.
You gotta do this for me, man.
Please, please, please, please Okay, I'll go.
Just stand up.
Thanks, man.
Uhh, you reek of veggie straws.
Oh, I wish you would wear that dress Goin' berry pickin' So don't wear your best But I know that You're the one We could cross the country In our beat-up truck Stoppin' every minute 'Cause the thing don't run But I don't care 'Cause we're in love Let's get, let's get away in the night I know you count on me Well, just lean on me, lean on me Anytime [GUITAR SOLO.]