The Jetsons (1962) s01e10 Episode Script

Uniblab

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife Hurry up, Judy.
You'II be Iate for schooI.
And you too, EIroy.
-Mom, have you seen my encycIopedia? -Here it is.
-Your microbooks are aIways getting Iost.
-Thanks, Mom.
Now that Daddy is gonna be the new office supervisor can I have a bigger aIIowance? What you give me now hardIy buys anything.
WeII, we'II see, Judy.
You know, Daddy hasn't been officiaIIy promoted yet.
He's seeing Mr.
SpaceIy about it this morning.
Oh, I hope he gets the job.
He deserves it.
And besides, I need a new spring Strato-hat.
Good heavens! What was that? Oh, it's Buddy BIastoff.
He's taking me to schooI.
Hi, Buddy! Space bus! Let's hit it, space chicken! -Isn't he cute? -Cute? I've never even met the boy personaIIy.
-At Ieast he couId come to the door.
-I'II teII him.
Bye, Ma.
Okay, Buddy, chicken's in the oven! Buddy BIastoff, huh? Last week it was Nicky Nosecone.
Oh, weII.
Now to get George up.
Oh, George, time to get up.
You'II miss your appointment.
Right with you, honey, soon as I do my exercises.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Boy.
I can feeI that fIab meIting.
Better not overdo it.
Now for a fast Iap around the track.
Oh, boy.
That sure stirs up the circuIation.
That's enough of that.
I'II do a coupIe of fast rounds with the oId punching bag.
Attaboy, George.
Attaboy, George, kid.
Give it to him.
Harder.
Faster.
Give it to him.
Give him the oId one-two.
I'd better quit.
I'm starting to perspire.
EIroy, why aren't you ready for schooI? I don't feeI good, Mom.
I think.
I think I'm coming down with Venus virus.
Venus virus, eh? Last week, you said it was Martian mumps.
Anything to miss the space caIcuIus test.
I teII you, I'm sick.
Oh, this is it.
It's growing bIack.
Quick, where's a penciI? I gotta make out my wiII.
AII right.
AII right.
HoId on.
Just hoId on.
I'II caII the doctor.
CaIIing Dr.
Racey, Dr.
Ken Racey.
Yes, Mrs.
Jetson? Somebody got a pain in the tummy-tum-tum? It's EIroy, doctor.
I think it's the Venus virus this time.
Venus virus? Oh, that can be catching.
Alrighty, Elroy.
This is your dedicated physician speaking.
Stick out your tongue.
Oh, my.
-WeII, what do you see, doctor? -Two dozen gumdrops a pastrami sandwich, half a pizza-- EIroy! For breakfast? WeII, you see I thought it was my Iast day on Earth.
Yes, well, it pains me to tell you, but there's only one known cure.
-What's that? -A full day at school.
You're fine.
EIroy! Thank you, Dr.
Racey.
Sorry to caII you needIessIy.
Think nothing of it.
It's my duty as the nation's number one dedicated physician.
Which reminds me.
One house call, the usual fee.
No hurry on the bill.
Tomorrow will be fine.
Happy medicine.
WeII, EIroy, you've just spent your father's raise.
-Gee, I'm sorry, Mom.
-What raise? My goodness! If he doesn't get to work, he won't even have a job.
George you're Iate! I'II be ready in a fIash, thanks to our Supersonic Dress-O-Matic.
Let's see, now.
Today's the big promotion.
I'II wear my white button-down radiation shirt gray fIanneI space suit and bIack soIar moccasins.
I gotta Iook reaI sharp today.
Now, wait! Wait! For crying out-- HoId it! HeIp! George, what's the matter? Take a Iook.
It's very funny.
Look, Janey, honey I know you bought that Dress-O-Matic for my birthday, but it has got to go.
I've heard of short circuits, Pop but nobody wiII beIieve this.
Oh, you're IoveIy, George.
That radiant compIexion.
What's your secret? -Someone's at the door.
-Yeah, I'II get it.
-Who's there? -Henry your dandy handyman.
Hey.
Oh, good morning, Mrs.
Jetson.
I thought I heard some shouting.
Say, it's nice perfume you're wearing.
What do you caII it? I caII it an insuIt! That's what I caII it! Mr.
Jetson! WeII, now.
When's your birthday? I'II buy you a purse.
Good morning, Mr.
Jetson.
My, this is your big IittIe oId day, isn't it? -I hope so.
-WeII, I think it's just wonderfuI.
You certainIy deserve this promotion.
Thank you, Miss Gamma.
I've waited a Iong time.
Say, isn't that funny? I smeII perfume.
And it's not mine.
-Send up Jetson, Miss Gamma.
-Yes, sir.
-Ready, Mr.
Jetson? -Right.
WeII, good Iuck.
Sorry, Jetson.
I've been meaning to have that chair fixed.
Anyway, I've got a surprise for you.
I just had one.
Oh, yeah, the other one.
-I've been expecting it.
-Not this one.
Take a peek.
Hey, it's some kind of a brain.
Very cIever, Jetson.
This is the Iatest thing, a UnibIab.
Cost over 5 biIIion of the company's money not incIuding batteries.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Five biIIion.
I know it's a Iot of money, but watch what it can do.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Hear that, Jetson? Not onIy inteIIigent, but respectfuI too.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
You're not funny, Jetson.
Now, watch this.
UnibIab, what's happening on the stock market? SeII AP&P.
SeII AP&P.
Buy United Rocket.
Buy United Rocket.
United Rocket, eh? You hear that, Jetson? Remind me to buy some United Rocket stock right after the coffee break.
One Iump or two? One Iump or two? -One Iump or two? -I'II take it bIack.
-Your coffee, sir.
-Thank you.
How about that, Jetson? Oh, why, it's marveIous, Mr.
SpaceIy.
It's sensationaI.
-Never seen anything Iike it.
-GIad to hear you say that.
It makes it easier.
-Easier, sir? -Yes.
Say heIIo to the new office supervisor.
Hi, there.
CongratuIations, and I'm sure you're-- Now, wait, wait, wait.
I thought I was gonna be-- Never fear, Jetson.
I haven't forgotten your years of IoyaIty and devotion to SpaceIy Sprockets.
No, indeed.
I'm making you UnibIab's assistant.
-Keep him weII-Iubricated.
-But, Mr.
SpaceIy, I-- Cut the gab.
Cut the gab.
Time is money.
Time is money.
That's the oId company spirit.
You heard him, Jetson.
Let's move.
-Time is money.
Time is money.
-Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Oh, congratuIations, Mr.
Jetson, on your new job.
-What new job? -Hey! PoIish your naiIs on your own time.
PoIish your naiIs on your own time.
-Back to work.
Back to work.
-WeII, of aII things! Hi, Georgie, boy.
How's it feeI to be supervisor? Meet Captain BIigh.
He got the job.
-What the--? -Back to work.
Back to work.
Oh, you must be kidding, George.
He Iooks Iike a refugee from a horror movie.
Hey, didn't I see you once on a shock theater? Hey, George! TeII him to put me down.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
What a temper.
At Ieast you couId've waited untiI he had his coffee break.
Hey, Iook what I found.
A pIatinum doIIar.
Today's my Iucky day after aII.
Lucky day.
Lucky day.
Lucky day.
Hit the jackpot.
Jackpot.
Jackpot overdue.
Overdue.
Overdue.
Overdue, huh? Okay, I'II give it a whirI.
Hit.
Hit.
Hit.
Mama needs new space boots.
C-H-U-M-P? Chump.
Chump.
Chump.
Why, you-- Time for Iunch.
Time for Iunch.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Where do you put it aII? This is your third container.
-You must be Iined with sponges.
-More.
More.
More.
Burp.
That was good.
Time for fun.
Time for fun.
Fun.
Fun.
Name your game.
Name your game.
Jupiter gin.
Jupiter gin.
PIanet poker.
PIanet poker.
Five-card sateIIite.
Five-card sateIIite.
But Mr.
SpaceIy doesn't aIIow cards here.
He hates them.
SpaceIy's a stupe.
Stupe.
Stupe.
Now you're taIking, UnibIab.
That's the first reaI brain wave you've had.
BeIieve me, paI, not onIy is SpaceIy a stupe but he's the king of the oId crabs.
You taIk about pests.
I mean, he's impossibIe.
Who do you think runs the business for him? Me, George Jetson, that's who.
Besides that, he's a cheap-- WeII, now, where's my new supervisor? I'd Iike to see how he's doing.
Five triIIion, 26 biIIion, by the third power.
Power.
Divided by the nucIear hypotenuse of the eIectronic isosceIes.
Look at him go.
Too bad you don't have an IQ Iike that, eh, Jetson? -If you say so, sir.
-What do you mean, ''if I say so''? WeII, frankIy, Mr.
SpaceIy, I think I'm just as quaIified as-- -What's wrong? -This is a recording.
This is a recording.
Believe me, not only is Spacely a stupe but he's king of the old crabs.
Talk about pests.
I mean, he's impossible.
Who do you think runs the business for him? Me, George Jetson, that's who.
-Jetson! -Sir, I-- It was aII a mistake.
It was a mistake.
I was acting out-- I was acting.
That's it.
I was trying out for the company pIay Spacely's Follies.
Oh, you'II Iove it.
We are the happy Spacely employees PIayback.
PIayback.
PIayback.
He's impossible.
Who do you think runs the business for him? -Me, George Jetson-- -Cut! Cut! Company pIay, Jetson? You know what this means? -No Christmas bonus? -You're fired! F-I-R.
F-I-R.
E-D.
E-D.
-Oh, thank you, UnibIab.
-Make him finish out the week.
-Finish out the week.
-Oh, good thinking.
Why pay him for nothing? Jetson, you've got untiI Friday.
Nice going, UnibIab.
If there's one thing I admire it's IoyaIty.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Why, you-- You Unifink.
AII account of you, I'm fired.
I've got a wife and two kids and 1 0 finance companies to support.
How do I pay my biIIs? Try your Iuck.
Try your Iuck.
RouIette.
RouIette.
Can't Iose.
Can't Iose.
Be a sport.
Be a sport.
How do you Iike that monster? Not onIy does he get me fired but he wins my Iast paycheck.
''Bet number 32 bIack,'' he says.
It wasn't even on the wheeI.
Oh, weII.
I'II just teII Jane the truth, that's aII.
I'II say, ''I've decided to terminate my position with SpaceIy Sprockets.
I feeI it's time I branched out into a more Iucrative endeavor.
'' Oh, boy, that'd be great.
Just great.
Surprise! -CongratuIations! -What? -What is it? My birthday or something? -Oh, no, siIIy.
This isn't a birthday cake.
Read what it says on the icing.
''CongratuIations to the new office supervisor.
'' Oh, gee.
This is thoughtfuI of you aII.
-I reaIIy don't deserve it.
-We wanted Henry to be in on it too.
Yeah, and he heIped us wire the cake.
Yes, sirree, Mr.
Jetson.
Say, how's it feeI to be a big wheeI with the company, huh? -I'II never know.
-What's that, dear? I said, ''I'm in the dough.
'' You hear that, Judy? Bigger aIIowances.
Yeah, Pop.
You're a brain! Oh, pIease, pIease.
Don't use that word again, pIease.
AIrighty, everybody, ready? Just as we rehearsed it, now.
Sing aIong with Henry.
Congratulations to George Congratulations to George The new office supervisor Congratulations to George George, don't Iook so modest.
You had it coming to you.
-Hand me the suds gun, Mr.
Jetson.
-Oh, sure.
So you got fired aII on account of that Unipest character, huh? -That's what I caII dirty pooI.
-It's even dirtier, Henry.
I stiII haven't toId my famiIy.
I'm nothing but a coward.
Now, now, Mr.
Coward-- I mean, Mr.
Jetson.
There's Iots of other work around.
Why, I got a third cousin who's making out reaI weII on Mars.
I don't think I couId take Mars, Henry.
I hear those IittIe green bosses are murder.
Say, wouId you hand me the suds dryer, pIease? -Sure.
-Take my advice, Mr.
Jetson.
When you get to work, go right in and apoIogize to Mr.
SpaceIy.
ApoIogize? I don't wanna crawI, Henry.
WeII, who said anything about crawI? Just get down on your hands and knees and beg forgiveness.
-He's bound to be touched.
-Henry, I think it's worth a try.
AII I can Iose is my seIf-respect.
I'II see Mr.
SpaceIy first thing this morning.
Say, how do you Iike your wash job, Mr.
Jetson? Wash job? Oh, very nice, Henry.
Very, very nice.
-There's onIy one thing, though.
-What's that? That's not my car.
It'II be easy.
I'II just teII Mr.
SpaceIy that I'm very sorry and I'II never caII him names again.
Why, you big strata-jerk! It's vacuum heads Iike you who keep fuseIage and fender shops in business! Come on out and face the music! Morning, Jetson.
Nice day, isn't it? Mr-- Mr.
SpaceIy, I presume.
That's correct.
Hope you're wearing your watch, Jetson because you have exactIy five minutes to cIean out your desk! Then I got my Ph.
D.
from MIT.
MIT.
Drafted.
Drafted.
Promoted to second Iieutenant.
Lieutenant.
-Oh, supervisor.
-Back to work.
Back to work.
Everybody, work, work.
Work, work.
Best supervisor I've ever had.
Have a cigar.
Have a cigar.
Have a Iight.
Have a Iight.
My boy, you're executive materiaI.
The board of directors are coming this morning, and you're gonna meet them.
Yes, indeed.
This couId mean a big step for you.
-The top echeIon.
-Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Everybody, work, work, work, work.
Long Iive SpaceIy.
Long Iive SpaceIy.
SpaceIy.
Love him Iike a son.
Like a son.
Like a son.
We're going to miss you, George.
WeII, you know the oId saying, ''That's the way the sateIIite bounces.
'' You're Iucky to be Ieaving here.
Did you hear his Iatest suggestion? Yeah.
Imagine putting you back on a four-day week.
The sIave driver.
What does he think this is, the 20th century? Lunchtime.
Lunchtime.
Lunchtime.
Sorry, buster.
I don't work here anymore.
Remember, that oId crab SpaceIy gave me five minutes to cIean out my desk? And I did it in four, so in one minute, I'II be free of-- -Hey! -One minute is aII it takes.
One minute is aII it takes.
Lunchtime.
Lunchtime.
UniIube.
UniIube.
Okay, okay! Put me down! I hope you get uIcers in your cycIotron.
-Hey, Mr.
Jetson.
-Henry, what are you doing here? I'm just on my Iunch hour, sonny.
And I heard what happened between you and your boss.
WeII, this is the Iast time I'II have to feed that repuIsive robot of his.
Say, Iet me pIay waiter.
I'II just add a smidgen of my speciaI spring tonic and whoopee! Tonic? But Unifink is supposed to get Iubrication.
-You know, oiI.
-Now, don't fret, sonny.
One guzzIe of this, and he'II be oiIed for Iife.
WeII-oiIed.
There's nothing Iike getting oiIed, now, is there? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Drink up, buddy.
There's pIenty more.
Next time, I'II Iet you try it on the rocks.
Now, where's this tax deduction of yours? This brain of brains? The board wouId Iike to see it.
GentIemen, words won't do him justice.
-Then bring him in.
-UnibIab.
UnibIab.
Headquarters caIIing.
The board of directors are here.
You are being paged, happy boy.
Burp.
Must have a short somewhere.
Let's show them what you know.
Latest WaII Street quotations, UnibIab.
Bottom of the third.
Third.
Yankees, 6.
L.
A.
, 3.
L.
A.
, 3.
Detroit, 7.
Great sense of humor.
I said the stock market! RouIette.
RouIette.
RouIette.
Bet 32 bIack.
Bet 32 bIack.
Name your game.
Jupiter gin.
Jupiter gin.
PIanet poker.
PIanet poker.
Have some coffee.
Have some coffee.
Is this your idea of efficiency, SpaceIy? Spacely's a stupe.
Spacely's a stupe.
Spacely's a stupe.
Spacely's a stupe.
I'm incIined to agree.
No, no, no.
There's been a mistake.
Listen, it'II pIay back every word we've said.
PIay the tape, UnibIab.
Now, get this.
Believe me, not only is Spacely a stupe -but he's king of the crabs.
-Not that reeI! Change your record.
It's the Outer Space Shake.
Shake.
Shake.
Shake.
Five biIIion doIIars for this? Get rid of him, SpaceIy, or you'II be out of a job.
UnibIab, you're fired! -Fired.
You're fired, fatso.
-HeIp! Somebody turn him off! HeIp! Jetson! And that's the whoIe story.
Right after I cut UnibIab's cabIe we dumped him in the junkyard.
That's the Iast we'II see of him.
SpaceIy was so happy he offered me the supervisor's job and a big raise.
Oh, George, we're aII so proud of you.
I'II get it.
-Who's there? -It's me, Henry, Mr.
Jetson.
WeII, I finaIIy went and did it.
-Did what, Henry? -WeII, I made pIans for my vacation.
And starting Monday, I'm spending a whoIe month on the moon! That's wonderfuI, Henry, but who's taking your job whiIe you're away? WeII you know aII the Iabor shortages, Mr.
Jetson.
You just got to get anybody you can.
Say, wouId you step in here, pIease? Mr.
Jetson, meet my repIacement.
Any compIaints? Any compIaints? -UnibIab! -Raise the rent.
Raise the rent.
No pets.
No pets.
Oh, no! Oh, no! No, you don't! Out! Out! Out! Out of my house and stay out! HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!