The L Word s01e03 Episode Script


1 I told you, don't move.
Let your arms fall by your sides.
That's beautiful.
(beep) (car hoots) (gasps) God damn it.
- What? - I thought you set the alarm.
I did.
You snoozed it.
I'm late for my fucking dumb-ass job.
I'm sorry.
- Do you want me to make us coffee? - No, I'll get some on the way.
So, do you wanna get together later or what? I have a screening with Joanie .
but I'll call you.
(he murmurs) Ho tanto da fare oggi! - Hey! - Can I speak to you, please? Sure, I'll be right there.
Can you wait a minute? Due bicchiere di acqua per la tre.
- Do you want some coffee? - No, thank you.
(Bette) Finally, The Flagellation by Delmas Howe deals with the dichotomy between man as divine and man as creature.
The painting, which is large in scale and classical in its execution, attempts to record the artist's experiences through juxtaposition of narrative.
Richard Morrissey has called this piece a revelation.
Provocations is intended to do just that .
It is daring, intense and the edge we have been looking for, and, with a little finessing, it will be the CAC's spring exhibition.
Isn't that our slot for the Impressionists? Yes, but we've shown Impressions In Winter the last five years in a row.
I thought we would wow them with something different.
We can't move the Impressionists.
Everybody loves the Impressionists.
Well, the Impressionists notwithstanding, you hired me to create a new profile for the CAC.
Now, the Provocations exhibit will put us on the map.
It premieres at MonA and after CAC it moves on to the Walker then London's Tate Modern.
OK, well, just assuming for a moment we were willing to forego Impressions In Winter, despite the fact that it's our most popular exhibit bar none, for this cause célèbre out of New York.
What makes you think you can procure it? I've set up a meeting with Gina Ferrara, the curator of the Peggy Peabody collection.
I know that both MOCA and LACMA are after it but I'm confident It's obvious that you have gone to a lot of trouble to prepare this presentation.
But it isn't worth the risk.
Impressions In Winter is is too important to us.
(others murmur in agreement) With all due respect, Franklin, if I'm not the one selecting the shows, I don't understand what I'm here for.
To do what's best for the CAC, I would think that would be obvious.
Now I need you to follow up with Sheldon Tomlin at Hoyd and iron out the details.
We wouldn't want a rival running off with Impressions because we were slow.
I'm sorry.
Follow up? You've booked it already? I happened to have lunch with Shelly last week and I thought I'd save you the time.
Well, everyone, thanks and how about thanking Ms Porter for her hard work? Great job.
Can I see you a moment? - Do you wanna go to my office? - No.
(Alice) Hey! How are ya? - Hey! - Hiya.
Hey, Jenny.
- Can we go to your office? - Sure.
- OK.
- Hey, Jenny.
How are you? - Can we have her table? - Yeah.
Did you see that? - You can't tell me, right? - Right now, I can't tell you.
What's on your mind, Jenny? I can't be around you any more.
It's confusing and makes me feel insane.
Tim has been so wonderful to me.
I think that this is the very first time in my life that I have actually felt safe.
Do you wanna be safe? (sighs) I'm gonna marry Tim.
I can't imagine my life without him.
I don't wanna imagine my life without him.
- Is that what you want? - Yes.
That is what I want.
Then I wish you well.
- I'm gonna get another.
You OK? - Gabby, you're so fine, you blow my mind Easy with the '80s pop this early.
Hey, Gabby Hey, Gabby Tell me you didn't.
Think what you will - she's amazing.
She's amazing looking, she's amazingly smart, she's amazing in bed - She treats you like shit.
- She doesn't.
- She does.
- Not this time.
Totally changed.
She still seems pretty cold on the streets to me.
Cold on the streets, hot in the sheets.
She's happier.
She's writing her lesbian cops screenplay.
She's a whole new Gabby.
What? - Nothing.
- No, not saying nothing with that face.
All right, let's say hypothetically that I saw Gabby all over Nadia Meirtschin on Thursday night.
- Where? - At Milk.
- What were they doing? - Uh I'd prefer not to give you the details this time.
- Hey! Ow! - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! Sorry! - It's OK.
- Jesus, you're disfigured.
- I'm not.
- I could have killed you.
- It happens all the time.
- Should we call a doctor? - Dana! Second-degree burn from béchamel sauce.
Runaway shish kebab, an attack from a particularly hostile live lobster and, um, electric can-opener.
Is there anything I can do? You could kiss it and make it better.
Um - I was wondering if maybe - I'd love to.
Really? OK.
(laughs) OK.
This Thursday night OK? Thursday night is great.
- Where d'you wanna go? - Anywhere you're going.
But you're a food person.
So I wanna take you someplace good.
- Like L'Orangerie.
- That's way too expensive.
- I know.
I'll take care of it.
- We're not starting out that way.
Um, there's this little place in Koreatown I've been dying to check out.
- Should I make a reservation? - Let me take care of that.
- Just pick me up at eight.
- OK.
- OK.
- OK.
OK, bye.
- Hey.
- Yeah? Thanks for asking me out.
No problem.
Gina Ferrara, please.
It's Bette Porter.
We're having drinks.
Can you let her know that I got her message and the Four Seasons is fine? You brought dinner.
- You going out? - I have a drinks meeting.
- The board didn't go for it.
- What? Hello, is Greg Massey in? It's Bette Porter from the CAC.
Yes, I'll hold.
No, can you just have him call me back, please? Thanks.
- I hate them all.
- They didn't go for Provocations? And to pour salt on the wound, Franklin went behind my back - and booked Impressions In Winter.
- Who are you having drinks with? Gina Ferrara, the curator of the Peggy Peabody collection.
- You said they didn't go for it.
- I'm not rolling over.
After the meeting, I called and unbooked the Impressionists show.
- Now I'm crawling to a woman who hates me.
- Why does Gina Ferrara hate you? We had a run-in over an artist, Megan Friedman, as gallerists.
That sculptor you slept with? She's hated me ever since.
- So Gina Ferrara's a lesbian? - No.
She wanted the show, I got it, now she hates me.
But I am gonna kiss her ass.
She's lucky.
(funky drum and bass music) Hey, Jen.
Hey, it's me.
I've had a really shitty day.
My 200-yard relay team ate some bad sushi.
They were up all night puking.
Trish is on academic probation so if you get the message, I'm at The Planet.
I miss you.
Join me.
- Anyone else? - (men) No, thanks.
- Come on.
- No.
Come on.
I'm obviously no match for you.
You never know until you try.
(sirens wail) (woman) Come on.
Yeah, you look great.
(chatter, cars hooting) (woman) You wanna go over there? (laughter) Hey! Hi.
Um - How are ya? - You know Nadia.
- Yeah, hey.
- Hey.
Oh, my God.
Have you seen this? (laughter) Looks like Lacey finally tangled with the wrong crazy bitch.
There's a whole stack of them by the door.
Gabby? Gabby.
I was kinda hoping we could be alone.
We can be alone when we're dead.
Is that Fiona over there? I can't believe she'd even show her face in here.
- (buzzing) - (Marina) Tim.
- Tim, your phone is ringing.
- Can you get it? - (Marina) Hello? - Tim? - Uh, who is this? - Hi, Jenny.
- It's Marina.
- Where's Tim? Tim is playing pool.
He asked me to answer the phone.
I don't think she's happy.
Jenny? She got cut off.
I guess she'll call back.
- Yes! - Did you just hustle me? Yes! (mixes guitar over drums) Jen.
Hey! Are you OK? Jen, what's going on? Jenny, can you hear me? (Kit) Jenny, baby, can you hear me? Can you hear what I'm saying? Everybody, get back, give her some air.
She's coming around.
I gotta get her something for her head.
Jen? Hey, it's OK.
It's all right.
It's OK.
- What happened to her? - She passed out.
- Was she drinking? - I don't know.
But somebody else was.
You're kidding.
Why didn't you stop her? It's not my place.
- Well? - There was an accident on La Cienega.
- I was 15 minutes late.
She'd left already.
- Oh, babe, I'm sorry.
- We're gonna reschedule tomorrow.
- Let's get you something to eat.
Well, we're definitely getting you to a doctor tomorrow.
- It's low blood sugar.
- You scared me.
You fucked everything up by going to The Planet while I was making you dinner and flirting with Marina.
Don't be ridiculous.
- What were you doing? - Playing pool.
- With your arms around each other? - That's exactly right.
We were making out in the middle of The Planet while everyone was watching.
You need to get some sleep.
(ringing tone) - Bette Porter's office? - James, it's me.
- Can you forward my calls to my cell? - Guys, check this out.
- My God, it's the Unabomber.
- What's going on? Lacey is on a rampage.
She's putting these all over town.
You guys, there's a giant billboard of Shane on Sunset.
Just kidding.
- So how's your lady friend? - Good.
- I have my date tonight.
- My God! Dana's got a date.
- What are you wearing? - Um I was thinking that blue sundress (all) No.
- No.
- What? How many times do I have to say? No sundresses.
It's a nice place.
Somebody might see me.
One guy recognises you, and suddenly you're Tiger Woods.
Bite my head off! God! Jesus, Alice, it's not Dana's fault Gabby's macking on Nadia Meirtschin.
Oh, God, Nadia Meirtschin? I hate that girl.
I've been introduced to her 24 times and she never remembers my name.
Didn't she try to hit up on you once, Nadia? - She was drunk.
- Still.
It has to end.
Seriously, you can't let Gabby continue to treat you this way.
You don't know her.
I know it looks like she's treating me like shit but she's - Treating you like shit, Al.
- Maybe.
- It's just - No, it's just you deserve better.
I do? All right, I do.
But I just feel at times she's so right there and I feel like we connect then she acts like I don't exist.
She's an emotional cripple.
Yeah, emotional cripple slash narcissistic personality disorder.
And the next time she calls you, you have to end it.
I know.
- It's just - Just nothing.
What are you gonna do? - Well, ask her - No asking.
You're gonna tell her.
"Gabby, I really enjoyed our time together but it is obvious that we want different things out of a relationship.
" "I respect myself too much to let you treat me this way.
" "It's clear that you are an emotional cripple without any capacity to understand true love.
" "I'm not willing to waste valuable time on you.
" "So step off, bitch.
" - (phone rings) - You can do it.
Hello? Gina! Hey.
Sorry about last night.
I hope you got the message.
There was this accident.
I'm really looking forward to talking to you about Provocations.
I Oh Oh, really? Is there any way I could get you to reconsider because OK.
(Bette) All right.
No, no, no.
Thank you.
What happened? Provocations went to MOCA.
That's where Gina was when I was alone in the Four Seasons.
Oh, baby, I'm so sorry.
I knew Gina would screw me.
I am so fucked.
Can anyone overrule her? Just Peggy Peabody, the billionairess raving lunatic.
Peggy Peabody? Unified Steel heiress? - Yeah.
- She's in town, you know.
She's at the Los Alemendros, Santa Barbara, on some crazy art-buying spree.
Spent like 6.
3 million bucks yesterday.
- How do you know all this? - I was eavesdropping at LA Magazine.
Do you know they want me to do a story on the 45-minute orgasm? As if! - (ringing tone) - They're short and intense, right? - Bette Porter's office.
- Hi, James.
Can you get me directions for the Los Alemendros in Santa Barbara? Franklin found out you passed on Impressions.
- What else? - He's in a rage that you left in a time of crisis.
- Tell him to bite me.
- I can't say that.
Great art is a response to small-minded corporate fascists trying to impose their ignorance on the sheep-like masses.
- Why not say you're at the dentist's? - It's not over till it's over.
Call me back with the directions.
Are you going to Santa Barbara? Good luck.
Hi, how are you? Hey, how ya doing? Word to the wise.
Watch out for that woman.
Ma'am, how ya doing? Keep an eye on your daughter.
Heads up.
So what do you think? I learned Photoshop.
Lace, what are you doing? Whatever I feel like.
Isn't that what you do? All right.
Come on.
We have a big misunderstanding.
We had a great time together.
- But - That's why I don't understand what happened.
Nothing happened.
It's about having fun and enjoying each other's company.
- But then you went off with the other girl.
- Yeah.
I don't see what the problem is with that.
Look, Lace, you're beautiful.
And I like you a lot.
But I like a lot of people.
- What does she have that I don't? - Nothing.
It's not about having something or not having something.
Did you like fucking her better? No.
Because I really liked fucking you.
Yeah, I liked fucking you too, Lace.
So what's the problem? I don't do relationships.
I'm not asking for a relationship.
Look, La Don't Hey, don't cry.
I am not crying.
Yes, you are.
I I hate it when girls cry.
Come here.
Come here.
I just really like you, is all.
Yeah, I like you too.
I do.
I guess I got carried away with the posters and flyers and the banner What, you made You made banners? Just one.
But they wouldn't let me hang it at Girl Bar.
- You have a lot of feelings.
- You went off with the other girl! Shh! Please don't Forget about it, OK? Don't even think about that.
I don't want a relationship, I just want to be with you all the time.
Oh, hey, oh! I'm so dumb! I am always doing this.
- I wanna know why everybody abandons me.
- No one's abandoning you.
Everybody leaves.
My father left when I was five, my mom died .
my sister What happened with your sister? She moved to West Covina.
I'm not going anywhere, OK? I'm not going anywhere.
- OK? - OK.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
All right? Al, it's Dana.
Alice! Don't worry, I'm wearing pants.
No, they're not patterned.
Look, I'll call you after, OK? No, I am not gonna Hold on.
Just hold on.
- (buzzer) - (Lara) I'll be right down.
OK, she's coming.
I gotta go.
I am not gonna have sex with her tonight.
It's our first date.
God! Hi.
I overdressed.
- No, no - I feel like such a geek.
- No, my friends made me wear this.
- What? My friends said that you would think I was a geek if I wore a dress.
- So I am a geek! - No, I'm a geek.
For letting my friends tell me what to wear.
I could go change.
So you don't feel so geeky.
No, you look beautiful.
Oh, God, see? That was totally I'm just a total geek.
I'm just - Shall we go? - Yeah.
(man) Thank you, sir.
Welcome to Los Alemendros.
How may I help you? - I'm here to see Mrs Peabody.
- The codeword? You need a secret code to see Peggy Peabody? That's correct.
(sighs) Perhaps you'd like to leave a note.
(dogs yapping) That's her, isn't it? - Mrs Peabody? - (dogs yapping) Hi.
(Mrs Peabody groans) Well, my driver was late.
That's my excuse.
You have so much traffic in this infernal city- how do you stand it? - You get used to it.
- Absurd.
- Penthouse.
- (yapping) Shut up.
Come here.
Hold him for me, would you? Here we go.
Good dog.
Go away! Don't come back! - I let José off.
- José? My helper.
He's in love with this girl who works for the Weintraubs.
Or is it the Fleischmans? Mad, obsessive love.
I told him, "Go, be in love.
" "Take the night.
Show her the sea.
" - People in love should see the sea.
- Mrs Peabody Call me Peggy.
I don't like Mrs.
It's so frumpy.
Like I'm an old mayor.
- Peggy.
- You're here about the Kandinsky? - Kandinsky? - What are you drinking? - Nothing.
I'm fine.
- Nonsense.
I had this ridiculous drink the other night.
José made it for me.
Mango juice and vodka, I think.
- Just ridiculous.
José! - I think José is out, at the sea.
- Of course.
He's in love.
- Right.
Now, this drink .
has a very salutary effect.
It's called Roadkill.
Let's see if you like it.
- Mm, delicious.
- So.
- When can I see it? - See what? The Kandinksy.
You have a reputation for driving a very hard bargain.
- I think you have me confused - But I will have it.
- You have me - How does this damn thing work? Ugh! Nasty little machine.
(Hispanic man) Miss Peabody's room.
Leave a message at the tone.
(beep) Hi, Peggy.
This is Abby Reynolds.
I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cancel our appointment.
Let's reschedule the talk about the Kandinsky.
Who the hell are you? I've been trying to tell you.
I am Bette Porter, and I am the director of the California Arts Center.
California Oh.
Oh, yes, that little museum in Bergamot Station.
That will all change soon.
Especially if you, in your infinite wisdom, - decide that Provocations - You're the lesbian.
- Excuse me? - The lesbian museum director.
- I'm sorry - I was a lesbian in 1974.
Just 1974? Just 1974.
That was all I needed.
Well, that is what we refer to as a has-bian.
(laughs) (Peggy) A has-bian.
(laughs) That's hilarious! I must tell Joanne that one.
Are you hungry? I'm famished.
Why don't you order us something? I've got a menu in here Thank you.
(knock at door) Hey, stranger.
You ran out the other night.
Yeah, well, twelve's a crowd.
I'm so sorry.
I missed Clarissa's birthday the other night, then Nadia called, and suddenly it was a big - I know about you and Nadia.
- There's nothing to know.
Half of Hollywood saw you guys making out.
That was nothing.
Alice, it meant nothing to me.
OK, here's you, and here's the lies you're telling me.
OK, I won't see her any more.
I swear.
- It's just - You and me are good together.
Both writers, on an intellectual par I can't have the same conversations with Nadia that I have with you.
Gabby .
I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together.
But you and I are on two different levels and we really want two different things out of a relationship.
I respect myself too much to let you treat me like this.
- Are you serious? - It's pretty clear you're some sort of emotional cripple without the capacity to understand true love and I, uh I'm not gonna let you waste my valuable time, and, uh Step off, bitch.
Emotional cripple? Where'd you get that, Dr Phil? - Why don't you get out of my house? - Whatev.
Suit yourself.
But this is not a good move for someone like you.
Everyone knows you're desperate.
You're not gonna bounce back from this.
(sighs) Oh, hey! - I just wanted to see how you were doing.
- Good, good.
- Are you working? I don't wanna bother you.
- No, no.
I haven't really been able to focus.
But I'm doing good.
- No more dizziness? - Mm-mm.
I don't know what happened.
I was just standing there watching Tim and Marina.
I know it's none of my business, but I wanted to tell you that if you wanna talk to someone about anything, you can talk to me if you want to.
I know, um, how intense this can be.
Keeping it pent-up can make it worse.
It's no wonder you passed out.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm sorry.
Um Hey! Did, uh - Did Marina say something to you? - No.
She didn't.
Look, I know it doesn't seem this way but this can be a small town sometimes.
OK, because, you know, whatever you heard, it's just like it's a lie.
It's just a rumour.
The lesbian community can be a hotbed of rumour and innuendo.
You could look at someone and 25 people would know about it in an hour.
If Marina confided in someone, I'm sure it was just as simple as her saying she was attracted to you.
(whispering) I just can't believe she did that.
- I didn't say she did.
I'm just saying - Thank you.
word travels.
Thank you very much.
Photography is my new passion.
I bought a Salvador Dali etching this week and a Duchamp but my favourite purchase by far is my new Carla Marie Freed.
Oh, God, she was brilliant.
She was completely brilliant.
Poor, wretched addict.
What is your favourite Carla Marie Freed photograph? That's so difficult, I Please, don't be such a pussy.
Favourite Carla Marie Freed photograph, post-haste.
Um I would have to say it's The Last Time I And You.
I've never seen the original.
She destroyed all of her negs.
Even the reproductions are just I mean, she photographed the same woman for twelve years.
Can you imagine that? I mean, can you imagine that act of looking? And looking and seeing and re-seeing .
just to try to get to the truth of someone.
I mean, there is incredible mystery and and .
passion in that work.
You know? (sighs) I met her, just before she died.
It was in some bistro in New York.
She was high as a kite.
And, you know, I was introduced to her and, um, she told me to go fuck myself.
- I totally loved her.
- That's funny.
I just loved her.
(whispering) I loved her.
Come here.
Follow me.
Close your eyes.
Keep them closed.
Open them.
I'm so happy.
Where are you going? You promised.
All right.
See ya.
Be good, OK? You can't imagine how jealous I am of you right now.
You've been waiting to cry and make a fool of yourself? - You know Stendhal? - The French art critic? He went to Florence, he saw the Caravaggio.
And he burst into tears and fainted.
The work of art was so beautiful he couldn't withstand the impact.
The Stendhal Syndrome.
"My head thrown back, I let my gaze dwell on the ceiling.
" "I underwent the profoundest experience of ecstasy I had ever encountered.
" "I had attained that supreme degree of sensibility where the divine intimations of art merge with the impassioned sensuality of emotion.
" You have utterly exhausted me.
I have to go to sleep.
Mrs Peabody Peggy.
Provocations Is there any way that I could persuade you to? I hired Gina Ferrara to do that job.
I know you'd hate it if your employers interfered with your autonomy, running the little museum.
Why? (clears throat) Why would you do that? Are you trying to hurt me? How did I hurt you, Jenny? Because you told someone.
Everybody knows.
Some people guessed from the way you were behaving.
I can't hurt Tim, OK? I understand.
I don't know what to do.
Every time I look at you, I .
I feel so completely dismantled.
(Jenny laughs) (Lucinda Williams singing "Right In Time") Not a day goes by I don't think about you You left your mark on me It's permanent A tattoo Pierce the skin And the blood runs through Oh, my baby The way you move Is right in time The way you move Is right in time It's right in time With me I stand over the stove In the kitchen Watch the water boil And I'll listen Turn off the television Oh, my baby The way you move