The Lake (2022) s01e08 Episode Script

No White After Labour Day

I hope the next letter’s an "L".

'Cause you’re shit
out of luck if you think
my brother's going to
accept your apology.

The boy holds a grudge
longer than Medea.

Well I’m running out
of ways to say sorry.

Well, if you won’t
stop begging for yourself,
then do it for me.

You’re the one person on this lake
I can lowkey look up to.

Thanks, Opal, I really need
I did it for all of us.

You were one sorry away
from standing outside
his window with a boombox.

You’re up early.

Uh, yeah, 'cause it’s Tiltapalooza!
Who can sleep in baby?
And you know who else couldn't sleep in?
Oh, oh, oh, oh Surprise!
- Surprise baby!
- Hey Billie-Bear!
Mom?! Dad?!
Oh, oh!
Oh, yeah, there's
probably just a squirrel
or raccoon or something.

They caught the last guy
who was living in the walls.

- The walls?
- You get teenage ass
back here with your lifejacket on.

'Cause you got parents to hug.

The view’s spectacular, honey.
Come see.

Looks fine from here.

I don’t like the look of those railings.

Oh, yeah, the hint of imminent death
is part of what gives
this place its charm.

People on the lake call
it the Murder Cabin.

Was someone actually murdered here?
Oh yeah; Kidnapping,
cannibalism, black market abattoir
It just needs a little
love and an exorcism.

Billie and I love it so much
I actually put an offer on it
but it’s conditional so we'll see.

Should have the financing
sorted by the end of day.

What happened with your family’s place?
Billie said you had your heart set on it
but there was conflict
with your step-sister.

Yeah, more ancient blood feud.

But I think that we've
come to an agreement
that’s gonna let us bury the hatchet.

Not in each other’s faces.

Hi! Hi!
When did you get here?
We took an early flight back
- and drove straight up.

- We just missed you too much.

Justin says we arrived
in time for Tatapalooza.

- Tat-a-tat-tat.

- Tiltapalooza, yeah.

But if you’re super jet-lagged
we could just get
breakfast or something.

Yeah, it’s the
Boathouse’s last big hurrah
before the end of the year.

But it’s just, like, silly
games and races and stuff.

You can totally skip
Go to breakfast.

I dunno, it sounds kinda
What do you think, Naomi?
Is it indoors?
Long ago in Sweden farmers
would gather their herds
to their pens with Kulning
and shepherds would call their flocks
back from summer
pastures for the winter.

Today in the same tradition of Kulning
we will celebrate the end of summer.

Let Tiltapalooza begin!
- Oh!
- Yeah!
So, not indoors
Oh, my God.

- Hey babe.

- Wayne, no.

- I can do that for you.

- No you won't, no you don't.

This is mine.
Go on.

- Where'd you get this?
- I hate this.

Is this a rental?
You can race with Killian if you want.

I’m good.

Well buck up, Billie-Bear.

Summer romances aren’t meant to last.

You’ll find a way to close the chapter.

No, I need a shovel.

Need a partner?
Yes please.

This is a family event!
We might need to freshen
up our repertoire.

This rope-play is getting kinda stale.

Just in case you need it,
I'll help you a bit more, here.

- No, you don't
- Just to get the rest.

- You don't!
- Okay, okay.

- You get out!
- Just trying to help.

Two Wayne burgers.
Medium rare.

All right.

You okay there, Wayner?
What am I gonna do without
my sweet baby Jayne?
Yeah Maisy and I were sorry
to hear you’re splitting up.

Oh, I mean she said
we’re just taking a break.



Hey, you know how in Michael Bay movies,
- Wahlberg’s always the shit?
- Yeah, yeah.

But then these bad robots show up
and then for a moment he's like,
"Wait a minute, am I the shit?"
But then he kicks some ass
and he’s like, "I am the
shit, I'm totally the shit.
I used to think that I was a Wahlberg,
now with Jaynie leaving
me I'm starting to think
- maybe I’m just a sad Shia.

- Stop.

- Why is she leaving me?
- Well, you day drink
you don't really take care of the kids
and you're a terrible listener.

- Two hot dogs.
Well done.

- Exactly.

When we get back to the city,
I'm probably gonna have to
crash with you guys for a bit.

Listen to me very carefully.

You may not be a Wahlberg,
but I can help you be
the next best thing.


Look, you just need a win, big guy.

Once Jaynie sees you take
down a nine time Tilting champ,
love will bloom again my friend.

Yeah! Dude, I'll be like
Wahlberg from Boogie Nights.

Different kinda love, bud.

Right, well without the
cocaine and all the porn.

Maybe a bit of porn.

- Thank you Victor!
- Ow.

Jayne and Wayne together again.

- Here you go, babe.

- Oh, but I asked for a burger.

Yeah, sorry.

With Jayne gone rogue,
Wayne’s off his grill game.

"Do ear infections cause vertigo?"
I put extra weight in Justin’s paddle
but I still need more of an edge.

Ooh, Fear of losing is healthy.

Any more Brené Brown and I
swear I’ll move in with Jayne.

God, tilting is so juvenile.

I should’ve banned
it when I was president.

I dunno, I think it's kinda cool.

It’s a cock fight concussion factory
that could cost us our cottage.

What are you talking about?
Derrick changed his will
and left the cottage
in a trust for Justin.

Everything that we worked
for could go to Billie.

And we could get lawyers involved
but that would be expensive
and probably take forever, so
Trial by tilt.
Not such a bad idea, huh?
Only if I beat Justin though.

Well, you always come up
with something.
Usually legal.

Fire in the hole!
Summer of Jayne
I’m going to put in an offer
on Whoreen’s murder cabin.

- We can’t afford that.

- Yes we can.

Even if Justin wins and
we have to buy him out,
we can use the left over
money from our renovation
for a down payment
And then we buy the murder cabin cheap.

Flip it and Airbnb it.

We could, like, double our
money in a couple of years.

Then we ride Justin's skinny
ass off this lake.

I’m gonna ride you like
a pony when we get home.

Giddy up.

She is a bonified entrepren-her
I'm loving this journey for you.

That means so much coming from you.

I mean, you make
everything look so easy.

Kids, career capris!
I heard about you and
How're you doing?
I feel great.

I I am so excited to explore
this woman that I'm becoming.

And and other women or
Or just one woman
Well, here is a woman standing
in front of another woman
asking her to be their second.

- Uh, in your tilt with Justin.

- Mm-hm.

I would be honored.

I will not let you down.

No, I feel like I let you down.

I got so wrapped up in
Justin trying to stop my reno
that I barely noticed
that my best friend
- might be getting a divorce.

- Best friend
And I've lost sight of
what is really special
about the lake, you know?
It's family and friends coming together.

Which is why I need
a cottage for my mom.

You know, I don't know
how much time she has left.

And I think that
Whoreen’s would be ideal.

It's close enough, but
there's a lake inbetween.

Jeepers, this is so exciting!
- You are my third offer today.

- Oh!
My first listing in years is blowing up!
- Girl’s still got it!
- Oh, she sure does!
There's just one little
thing, which is, um
We were hoping to get
it a titch under asking
because funds are really
tight with the reno, you know?
Uh, sometimes writing a
letter to the owner can help
My mom will be fine in the bunkie.

But here is another offer
that you cannot turn down.

We cannot have another summer
with Ulrika as president, right?
- No.

- So if you need
a VP, that's me

I can make Whoreen come round.

And then then I have so
many ideas for my presidency.

- I just wanna
- Awesome.

You can step down, Brunhilda
The Boathouse president
always MCs the Tilts.

I think for wordplay and
drama, it’s better if I do.

I don’t work with children.

Neither do I.

- Let the Tilting begin!
- Let the Tilting begin!
Alright, first
up, a battle of champions.

Both Tilters have won nine times.

Yes, Wayne’s last title was eleven years
and forty pounds ago but
don’t count that bad boy out.

The "Moore with More" could
rise and take the title
from Boathouse favorite,

Well let’s see if he's still
got the moves on unfrozen water.

Hey, keep it clean.

No head shots.

If you’re drowning, speak
up! We can’t read lips!
Is Jaynie watching?
- Yup.

- Okay.

Look, you got this.

Just take one swipe at
my leg and I'll dive in.

You’re going down, Lin!
Go Daddy! Woo!
Come on, baby, you got this!
Ah! Yeah!
- That was gonna happen.

- Mm.

That was really fast.

- What the fuck?
- I'm sorry, it was instinct.

Thank you.

Mwah, mwah!
I can’t hear you drowning
- Congrats, Dad.

- Thanks, son.

Ten year champ.

No way anyone beats your record now.

Except the reigning,
defending, Junior champ!
One day you’re gonna
send my ass into the lake.

And I couldn’t be prouder, son.

Who am I tilting with anyway?
Last minute entry.

Look, she’s the only one
with the balls to take you on.

But don’t let that psych you out.

Keep your core braced
and you can’t lose.

I tried, I couldn’t.

We’re winners, son.

What about all that "losing’s
the new winning" shit?
No shade to Brené but
losing is for losers.

Now I gotta put this little baby down.

We're gonna take a little nap.

Good, good, good.

So, you try to capsize their canoe
with a giant foam wrapped paddle?
Dad said I needed closure.

Okay, we told you not to drink the tea.

Don’t worry.
Tilting’s in my blood.

No, that padding is not adequate.

I'm gonna get you another lifejacket.

- You sure?
- I'll

So, first my cottage, and now my title?
Can you just let me have one thing?
Can you just accept an apology?
He ignores me for a week
but he’ll talk about his stupid title.

It’s a family thing.

Of course you wouldn’t understand.

Cuz I have four families.

"Oooh, I’m Billie.
didn’t want me.
Boo hoo.
Well your grampa left me the
cottage, so I guess he did.

Everything was just normal fucked up
until you made me think you liked me.

I did like you!
You tried to steal my cottage
and then you lied to my face.

I was high to your face!
I tried to stop your dumbass reno
because you were crying
about your cottage
being turned into a castle!
So that was bullshit too.
That's great.

Get your own lane, Killian.

Twisting words is your mom’s thing.

Like playing victim is your dad’s?
Just drop out.


You owe me.

An apology.

Which I already gave.

Take the title.

You already took everything else.

What happened? You
want me to come with you?
- No.

- Are you sure
It's been a cruel summer.

Okay, smile.

Got it.

You better come back next year.

If Killian goes full himbo
I will have no one left.

Come here.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Oh my, all hail the new Junior champion!
Killian forfeited.

Still counts.
Still proud.

Still gonna drive Maisy cuckoo-bananas.

I’m sorry that things
didn’t work out with Killian.

He’s a dumb dumb.

Probably for the best with
the whole step-cousin vibe.

Yeah, you didn’t want to
be DeFlowered-in-the-Attic.

Guess I was wrong.
isn’t always the way.

Not if you’re high anyways.

Holy shit, are you high?
What did you take, weed? Molly?
Did Ulrika give you peyote
At Quadchella.

Thank fuck.
I'm sorry, yeah.

Just, maybe don’t mention
that ever to your parents.

I think they're finally
starting to see me
as a crediblish human being.

You need a second?
First time I just
obsess about my angles.

We’re actually all good.

Billie’s gonna ride sidesaddle with me.

Dude brought a paddle.

Clearly he wants to
fight for your honor.

I love a lost cause.

Oh, God, you guys.

Okay, got any advice? Or steroids?
Just remember to brace your core.

I don't have one of those.

Uh, this tilt is for
the cottage, isn't it?

Then your core is braced.

Let's wreck her.

God, it's so bright.

Come on Justin!
How do I look? Like a winner?
- Yeah.

- Like a winner.

You have a wedgie.
In the front.

It's just how the liner
of the bathing suit sits.

He's a bottom feeder,
you're a soaring bird.

- It's go time.

- Let's do this.

Oof, well
We are passing the
half-hour mark of this tilt
and still no winner in sight.

Well, let's get comfy.

When my mother puts her mind
to something, she is relentless.

There’s a word in Swedish
For people like her: Obeveklig.

What does it mean?
You just said it.

Let's go!
Come on, Maisy! Take
that little bitch down!
Did you weight my paddle?
Like you weighted mine.

That was Dad’s go to move.

Still not your dad.

Oh, I'm gonna beat your ass.

Just after this little rest.

Yeah, you take all the time you need.

Don’t feel bad when you lose.

You were never going to
get the murder cabin anyway.

Whoreen’s gonna accept my offer.

You made an offer on the Murder Cabin?
Sure did.

Oh! Oh, we had a deal!
Oh! Sorry, sorry I have to take this.

I’ll let the bidder know.

They’re here with me right now.

Me too! Ha-ha!
Whoreen has accepted your offer!
Congratulations Riley!
- Riley?!
- Riley?!
Damnit Jayne!
Justin wins! Justin wins!
- I won?
- Yeah!
I won!
Lovejoy wins!
I am the lady of the lake!
Oh, you didn’t, um, label
or color-sort when you packed.

Huh Yeah, I guess I just forgot.

Oh, no, that’s wonderful.

You know, adopted children
often feel compelled to control
or over-perform, it’s just that, um,
you asked me for this label-maker
when you were seven and
my little girl is becoming a
A wo wo
Um, I’m going to double-bag these
before putting them in the car.

For the bugs.
And the germs.

And the smell of this place.

Can you bring my hat and
my bags please? Thank you.

- Okay.

- Do you need any help?
All done.

Thanks again for giving
Billie an amazing summer.

We came through, didn’t we?
Despite some light child abandonment.


Well, I’ll let you two say bye.

Billie-Bear, we’ll
be waiting in the car.

Honey, there's a bird in the backseat!
Coming honey.

That man look good in a hat.

He looks good in everything.

- So
- So
- I have a present for you.

- You got me a gift?
No, I didn't get a gift.

I didn't know we were doing gifts
- Too bad.

- My gift is outside?
You wanna talk about what
happened with Killian?
Not really.

You wanna talk about
Riley getting the cabin?
Not really.

So what about next year?
I dunno I lost the
cabin, I lost our cottage
Mm Fuck it.

We don’t need 'em.

You could show me Paris.

Or maybe Greece.

- Oh.

- More shirtless men.

I mean, I'll take it.

Also Christmas.

Mom and Dad throw a party.

You should come.

I’d really like that.

I should go.


They're probably waiting for me.



- Love you.

- Love you.

- Hello.

- Hey.

This is Joel Kinnaman.

She’s new to the lake.

Sven and Lars are a little jealous
so maybe you will help and
train her to be a support bird?
Hm? Yes.

- There we go.

- Oh.

Good, good.


Will you be my friend?
Remember, she can smell fear.


I’m sorry Whoreen
didn’t take your offer.

But when I put on this blazer,
I make a vow to do what’s
right for my client.

Right, like the vow you made with Wayne?
The code of Real Estate is unbreakable.

My marriage was breaking me.

But it all worked out.

Justin didn’t get the cabin.

He won’t be back next year.

Which is why we're gonna
need a seasoned President
to clean up his mess next summer.

- You’re running again?
- Mm-hm.

But what about you being my VP?
Well, we have to do what’s
best for the lake, right?

Maisy-May, I have lived, I have laughed,
and I have loved with you.

But I won't let you and Wayne
hold this Girl Boss back any more.

I have lived in your
shadow for twenty years
so I know what you do in the dark.

And I will use every one
of your pretty little lies
to win President next summer.

I’d hoped that you could
support me on my journey
to Real Estate Micro Influencer,
but I won’t be bullied by
your exquisite face any more.

I have to set an example for my girls.

Good luck with your renovation.

I’m sure it will be breathtaking.

Save any for me?
I’m not sharing.

Figured there’d be a
lot of feelings today so
I brought my own.

I've got nothing more to give.

She’s spent.

I didn’t know you
wanted the Murder Cabin.

I would’ve told you but I
thought you were after Maisy’s.

Nah, I’m just messing with you.

These are happy carbs.

Billie said that she wants to go
to Greece with me next summer.

So you’re not mad that I have the cabin?

Who needs a cottage when
birth-dad and daughter
are gorging themselves
on Mediterranean men
and spitting them out like olive pits.

Or you could rent a place on the lake
from a starving artist.

Birth Daddy's got the money
after Maisy’s buyout.

I’m giving it back.

This thing between me and Maisy,
it's never gonna end if I keep it.

I need closure.

So do I.

You ready to ride a bike again?
Look, ma.
No hands.

Why did I just talk about my mother?
- Yeah.

- That was weird.

- Mm.

- I'm sorry.

Lucky I’ve a soft spot for roadkill.


Chips, chips! So many chips!

G’bye dacha
- Hey, hey!
- Hi.

Did you take your name off the trust?
Yes, I did.
I left a
message for the lawyer.

Oh, you stupid fucking idiot!
Would it kill you to
think ahead, just once?
What the actual fuck?
Who slaps people?
You asked me to do it you psycho!
It’s okay it’s okay
I can fix it I can fix it
I fix everything.

What the fuck is going on Maisy?
Okay by dissolving the trust,
the cottage reverts to
your father’s estate.

It goes to my mother.

To Mimsie?
She can sell it, she can torch it,
she could turn it into a
llama sanctuary if she wants.

God, I should’ve seen this coming
but just being around
you makes me dumber.

This is not my fucking
problem anymore, alright?
Here’s your money back, Maisy.

I’m moving on with
my life.
You should too.

Okay, yup, run away, go
He always runs away.

You know what? You are right.

I am the worst.

All you wanted was a big sister
and all I wanted was to punch
you in your fat fucking face.

I am confused.
Is this an apology?
Because really not sticking the landing.

Yes, I locked you in
the trunk of my car.

Yes, I took your bedroom.

Yes, I told your dad you had syphilis.

But I was in Australia.

How did you know?
- At fifteen.

- Fuck.

You really are the worst.

Baby, do you have any gummies?
Go, save yourself before it's too late.

- Mimsie’s here?
- I’m sorry
I really am sorry for all of it.

Shit, man.

Come on, that's my move.

Let it go.
That's it.

That’s it, that's it

That's a girl.

Come on.

Let’s go meet our monster.

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