The Librarians (2014) s04e09 Episode Script

And a Town Called Feud

1 - (GRUNTS) - (SHOUTING) - (CANNON FIRE) - (SHOUTING) - (GRUNTS) - (YELLING) Take cover! (CANNON BLASTS) It's quiet, sir.
Almost too quiet.
(PHONE CHIMING) - Oh, Devan! - Devan! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, you guys.
I thought I switched it off.
- (BEEPS) - Take the re-enactment seriously.
- I know.
- Don't be a farb.
- (GROANS) - Why did you even bring that? In case Heidi calls.
There's a sale going on at the garden center.
She's gonna call me if the gazebos are discounted.
- Got to have a weekend, right? - Amen, brother.
I got a shed that ain't gonna paint itself.
How about you, Roach? You got plans when this darn war is over? Upgradin' my broadband.
- Yeah.
- Ooh.
How about you, friend? I said, do you got plans (EERIE VOICE) The brothers are rising! The brothers are rising! The brothers are rising! - JENKINS: Oh, my.
- BAIRD: Hey, you need a hand? Oh, oh, yes, please.
Thank you so much.
Colonel, dealing with the outside world slaying dragons, that's one thing, but supermarkets? Oh, Colonel, tell me.
Have grocery stores always been such satanic mills of mass consumerism? Truly, how many varieties of peanut butter does society need? Oh, and also the unfathomable amount of cards one must have ID card, credit card, club card, ATM card, debit card.
Is that how we measure a man now? How many little pieces of rectangular plastic he can acquire? And all the people! Wait a minute, you've never been to a grocery store? I didn't need to eat before.
I could if I chose to, but I didn't it wasn't obligatory for living.
And look at this.
Look at all the I bought all of this.
Why did I buy all of this? Because of the adverts and the calming music and the aisle upon aisle of shiny fruits and vegetables and meats.
Oh, Jenkins, we've got you now.
Why didn't you use the magic door? Well, because now that I'm aging normally, there will come a time when I will need to retire from the Library.
When that day arrives, I will not have access to the door.
So this was me trying on my training wheels.
And how'd that go? They fell off.
CASSANDRA: No, Ezekiel, no.
What is wrong with agreeing with Darrington Dare? I'm just saying, maybe there should only be one Librarian.
- Yeah, I agree with him.
- You see? - It should be me.
- What? I only said that I disagree and he jumped down my throat.
Well, I why wouldn't it be me, huh? Why wouldn't it be me? Uh, because you're a rootin' tootin' cowboy.
I'm a rootin' tootin' cowboy with a big-ass I.
! Having multiple Librarians has saved the Library multiple times! Whoa, what's going on? - EZEKIEL AND STONE: She started it! - He started it! Oh.
This argument, still.
I don't under listen, just for the record, I'm going to say something.
I agree with Miss Cillian.
You're all Librarians.
The last thing we need here is more disruption.
- Ezekiel called me a bookworm.
- You are a bookworm.
- We all work in a Library.
- Guys, please! - (GROANS) - You're upsetting Jenkins.
Colonel, no, no, no.
I'm not upset.
It's not that.
It's this feeling in my stomach.
I don't understand.
Is it too much food or too little food? Do I need a kitchen or a bathroom? Uh, okay.
Question, Baird.
Where do you stand on the whole multi-Librarian versus solo Librarian debate? Well, y'all keep this up, I might start coming around to solo.
BOTH: Yes.
No, me.
Definitely a bathroom.
Oh, I hate this mortal coil.
Guys, we are weeks away from the Tethering Ceremony.
Weeks away to figure out which one of you will tether with me to the Library forever.
We need some resolution.
- (GASPS) - Ah, saved by the book.
"Civil War Ghost Sightings at a Civil War re-enactment.
" - Cool.
- No, it's not cool.
The Civil War was a bloody stain on America's history.
Oh, it's got a little museum.
A town called Feud.
Field trip.
Well, I am gonna stay here with Jenkins and do research.
False alarm.
It was actually a belch.
You learn something new about yourself every day.
Jenkins, fire up the door to Feud.
Cass, you sure you don't want to come? I am sure.
Look at this smile.
(LAUGHS) Take care.
Jenkins, we need to talk.
Well, isn't Feud a conveniently appropriate name for a Civil War town? Well, it was actually named Fugue.
They renamed it after this famous feud between these two brothers, Carlton and Uriah Loveday.
Literally joined opposite sides of the war during the war.
So I guess they take the whole divided town thing seriously around here.
Oh, I think they do.
I mean, check this out.
Look at this.
It's not just a line.
This is the line.
Huh? North and South divide runs right through Feud.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, guys, check it.
I'm a Confederate Yankee.
Yee-haw! Okay, look, we are here, which means the town is that way and the museum's up the hill this way.
Yeah, I think we should start at the museum.
- Why the museum? - 'Cause it looks crazy.
Plus, it'll have a good gift shop.
Feud's been having re-enactments for years.
I wonder why the ghosts decided to show up now.
Ghosts are so cliché.
Why can't it be a time traveler or hologram or a magic frat house prank? There's a long history of credible ghost sightings in the United States, okay? Hell, last year, there were 13 independently verified hauntings in Chicago alone.
The Loveday House Museum.
This must be where the brothers lived.
They must have had a pretty bad fallout, 'cause they literally split the house in two.
A house divided cannot ooh, gift shop.
Oh, what, did you finally get your green card? It's ironic chic.
Totally hipster.
Don't steal from a museum, Jones.
I'm leaving a payment, see? How very responsible and Librarian-y of me.
- WOMAN: If you can all find a space - BAIRD: Guys, shh.
we will begin the presentation for the press.
My name is Janet Hedge and I am curator and founder of the Loveday House Museum.
As I'm sure you know, the Loveday brothers joined opposite sides of the Civil War and became bitter enemies.
This broke the heart of their mother Beatrice, who on her deathbed, split the heart-shaped locket containing photographs of both of her sons in two.
She bequeathed one half of the locket to each brother, begging them to reconcile.
Sadly, this never came to pass, as at the Battle of Fugue Valley, the Loveday brothers shot and killed each other.
Ten years ago, my team and I exhumed the bodies of the brothers from the battlefield.
Carlton's locket was found with him and has been a part of this museum ever since.
Uriah's half was never recovered until today.
(CROWD GASPS, APPLAUSE) Ladies and gentlemen, I am thrilled to announce that this week we found the other half of the Loveday locket.
And to celebrate, we will be reuniting both halves of the locket at a special ceremony to kick off this year's Feud re-enactment festival.
Stone, you were wondering why ghosts started showing up? I bet it has to do with the other half of that locket getting found.
The lockets are giving off crazy strong signals.
It's definitely the artifact.
Now, are there any questions? If they unearthed that locket and they got one ghost already, what do you think's gonna happen if they put 'em back together? (GHOSTLY WHOOSHING) JANET: Everyone likes to be a part of history.
And when the two halves of the locket are reunited, it will be historic.
And please quote me with that exact wording.
Who's next? Eve Baird, the "Annex News Network Online.
" Oh, yes, I haven't heard of you before.
How did you find the other half of the locket? By chance at a recent dig at the Fugue Valley Battle site.
Just luck? That's it? I wish I could claim a greater skill, but, yes, just lucky.
Convenient timing.
Like I said, it was luck.
Ezekiel Jones, "Annex Advertiser.
" Can you comment on the recent ghost sightings in town? Well, yes.
Obviously they're not true, but any story that promotes the legend of the Loveday brothers is Sells more tickets to the festival.
No, I was going to say, "Puts more focus on the issues.
" Yes, Mister Uh, Stone.
Jacob Stone.
"The New Annexian.
" What can you tell us about the line that runs directly through town? The dividing line has been here for as long as the re-enactment festival has.
It is now a part of this town's history.
So, it's a fake part of this town's history, would you say? Fake is a very strong word.
Yeah, well, you can't just reinvent the past to suit ourselves in the present, can you? It's a metaphor for a nation divided.
And that's enough questions, I think, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
Okay, so there's no ley lines around here, so what would make two ordinary locket halves turn into two magical locket halves? I have a theory.
This whole town is based on the legend of the Loveday brothers and their mutual hatred for one another.
The town even changed their name because of them.
This locket is a symbol of their story.
Well, symbols grow in power because of the meaning people attach to them, just like a religious artifact.
Yeah, except this artifact is fueled by the hate and anger of these two brothers who never want to be reunited.
So, reunite the two halves of this locket against the brothers' wishes and what'll happen? I tell you, it's bad stuff.
Well, we better figure it out and fast, before tomorrow.
Or I could just steal it.
Just saying.
Take it down a notch, Jones.
We'll use the power of words.
We'll talk to the curator.
Suit yourself.
Guys, why'd you lock me out? - Hey! Jones! - Guys? - (EZEKIEL KNOCKING) - Guys? They won't open.
I can't open them.
(EERIE VOICE) The brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising for you.
You were gonna kill each other.
Well, we wouldn't have done that.
Ha-ha-ha, very funny, Stone.
We had nothing to do with that.
Oh, yeah, really? What was it then? A ghost? Go on, admit it.
This is almost worth becoming mortal for.
High tea in the Annex.
(GIGGLES) The others can never know about it.
What happens at high tea in the Annex Stays in the Annex at high tea.
So now that I have you here, Darrington Dare's problem with there being only one Librarian had to do with the Westphalian brothers who had that falling out in the 5th Century.
But I was thinking, what do we really know about them other than that? I mean, if we could find out the whole truth and then prove that we would never make the same mistakes that they did, I mean, maybe we could get the others to come around.
You do know that we archive the personal possessions of all previous Librarians.
I mean, you know, if they, well, corresponded with each other - Their letters.
- Yeah.
Hmm, as soon as we finish high tea, we're going to the archives.
Mmm, mmm.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR) - Come in.
Oh, it's you.
I assumed you worked as a pack based on your combative line of questioning.
Well, I'm with the "Annex Advertiser," so it's my job to ask the tough questions.
I'm with the "Annex Advertiser.
" You're with the "New Annexian.
" Miss Hedge, we know the re-enactment Festival is very close to your heart.
It's the center of my heart.
I'm the one who founded it.
I'm the one who exhumed the brothers.
I'm the one who dedicated decades of her life telling their story.
And you're the one that painted the line down the center of town? Ugh, that line again.
Let it go.
It's a metaphor.
Do you think Disneyland employs real giant mice? Disneyland is a theme park.
History is a theme park, if you package it right.
You see, now this is where me and you are going to have a lot of disagreements.
If I could just bring the conversation back around, we just saw a ghost.
What? Where? Right out there, just now.
A widow in black.
That's two ghost sightings in two days.
Both since you found the second half of that locket.
What do you think is gonna happen when you put the two halves back together? Nothing.
Because there's no such thing as ghosts.
Um, we're kind of experts in this sort of field.
So if you don't mind us taking one look at that locket, it would really That locket is my star attraction.
Visitors' numbers are down.
Receipts are down.
That locket is what's bringing everyone back to Feud.
Miss Hedge, you can't move forward with the festival.
People could get hurt.
The re-enactment Festival is what keeps this town afloat.
Do you know what this place was before I brought the Loveday brothers' story back to life? A dead and dying ghost town, and that's the only ghost I'm worried about the ghost of this town in economic ruin.
Now, please leave.
Get out.
Thank you.
It all boils down to money.
You're right, Stone.
It is turning into a theme park.
- History? - War.
I've lived it.
Real war.
And it's not a game.
It's not fun.
It is not a festival.
Turning war into a family day out I hope nobody does that to any battle I was in.
(DEVICE BEEPING) You wanna know the truth? Meet me in one hour.
(GHOSTLY CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER) See? I told you there were ghosts here.
Yeah, it was totally creepy.
This little golem leprechaun thing was ringing its bell, being all short and spooky.
You have a better description than that? Short and spooky.
I hate ghosts.
"Make Love Not Shawarma.
" (LAUGHS) Hmm, shawarma, though.
Kind of risky for the South.
According to their Facebook page, they have a truck set up on the west side of the field.
- Over there.
- Hey.
Those three guys, those are the guys from the Clipping Book, the first ones to see the ghost.
Okay, you two talk to Secret Shawarma.
I'll go talk to these guys.
I speak soldier.
They're fake soldiers.
Okay, then I'll speak fake soldier.
Left, left! Left, right, left! Hey there, I'm Colonel Baird, NATO.
I'm pretending to be a corporal.
No, I am an actual colonel, so 'tention! What's an actual colonel doing here? No, you say, "Permission to speak, ma'am.
" Then you ask the question.
Guys, I'm just messing with you.
At ease.
I was wondering though, could I ask you a few questions about a ghost? - Hello.
- Great.
Came here just like you said.
I'm the guy you gave the card to MAN: Around here.
Before they see you.
Hello? Hey, before who sees us? Hey, who's that? Don't worry.
It's safe.
He's a friend.
Well, sometimes.
Sometimes safe or sometimes a friend? Just answer the question.
Before who sees us? The eyes in the skies.
The satellites.
The government's watching everything I do.
EZEKIEL: I knew it.
Hey, I heard about you from the press conference.
You're asking the right questions.
Why ghosts? Why here? Why now? I'll tell you why.
'Cause they're not ghosts.
- What are they? - Robots.
Built by the government using tech salvaged from Area 52.
Area 52? Yeah, Area 52.
You know, big brother to Area 51, except it's even more secret.
The whole ghost thing's just a smoke screen.
Government's using alien robots to hide the truth.
What truth? That the government's using alien robots.
And they're in league with the damn Yankees.
- Why? - 'Cause the Yankees and the government, they all work for the Man.
See, they're not clear-thinking rebels.
Like us.
It's actually safe to be seen in public again.
Satellites move on about every half hour.
I see your paranoia runs on a tight schedule as well.
- Thank you.
- Jones.
Left, left! DEVAN: See, I didn't believe in it until I saw a ghost with my own eyes.
But you gotta ask yourself, who stands to gain from summoning up dead spirits? Our theory is the Confederate re-enactors are trying to change the results.
We Yankees, we won the Battle of Fugue Valley.
But scare all the Yankees away, they rewrite history, they win.
The pretend Confederates win the re-enactment.
History stays the same.
History is the story you tell.
The Confederates win the re-enactment, the Confederates win history.
Don't look now.
Here comes Captain Conspiracy Theory.
He also plays one of the Confederate officers.
Plus does the catering.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the Yankee boys.
Troy, Roach.
- Devan.
- Griz.
You been abducted by any UFOs lately? I'm sensing some animosity here.
Yeah, we went to high school together.
Griz and I are old rivals.
Aren't we? Debate team, soccer team, jazz improv team.
The point is Griz here has a nasty habit of always choosing the losing side.
Oh, is that so? 'Cause the way I hear it, you Yankee boys are about ready to skedaddle on out of here 'cause of some scary, scary ghosts.
Y'all realize the Yankees go runnin', Confederates win this battle.
(SCOFFS) So fake Confederates fake win a fake battle.
It's all the same thing.
Vouchers for free shawarma.
You're welcome.
He seems fun.
Guys, have any of you seen the ghost of a widow? No, ma'am, just the soldier we told you about, the fellow who said, "The brothers are rising.
" Wait, this widow, did she wear a pendant? Like a black rose? Yes, how'd you know? Well, there's a display about her back at the museum.
That's Diana Loveday, Carlton Loveday's widow.
- (JENKINS LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES) From the Archives of the Librarians.
In every box, a life lived.
Is my whole life going to go in a box? Please, just not my teenage diaries.
Everyone is allowed at least one misguided Goth phase that no one else can know about.
Ah, Darrington Dare.
Huh? Oh, and his Banshee.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, I don't mean to bash the system, but these are hardly in alphabetical order.
No, they're not.
The Librarian who first established the Archive, Zelpha The Forgetful, rather eccentric in her working habits.
Ha! Ta-da.
- Yes.
- (CHUCKLES) The brothers of Westphalia's correspondence.
And they're missing.
Ah, Zelpha.
She must have taken them, left a note where she put them.
"Lí Ban, Acionna, ubiquitous.
" - What's that mean? - Don't know.
Her aide-memoires impossible to decipher.
Well, I find that hard to believe.
We can figure this out.
Um, well, "ubiquitous" means "everywhere.
" - Yes.
- Uh, "Lí Ban, Acionna.
" Those are Celtic names, I believe, yes.
If only we were near or in some place that had lots and lots of books.
- (CHUCKLES) - To the Celtic section! - Ah! Ha-ha.
- Ha-ha.
Let's see what we can find.
Hey, it's her.
Diana Loveday.
"Diana Loveday, beloved bride of General Carlton Loveday.
" That's this guy right here.
He was a Confederate.
"Little is known about the mysterious Diana other than that she and Carlton were deeply in love.
Diana outlived her husband by many years.
This is the only known photograph of her.
" It's sun-damaged.
You can't really see her face.
But look same brooch.
The golem leprechaun with the bell! It's not a golem leprechaun! It was a kid.
Milton Loveday.
He was Uriah Loveday's son.
That's his brother.
That's Uriah Loveday right there.
He was a Yankee.
"Milton Loveday was 12 years old during the Battle of Fugue Valley.
He'd lost something precious to him a gift from his father.
He was looking for it when he was killed in the crossfire.
" He used to ring the bell when it was time for church.
That was the bell that I heard.
He must've died with it in his hand.
- (GHOSTLY WHISPERS) - (BELL RINGING) It's him again Milton.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
Lose what, Milton? I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
Tell us what you lost.
We could help you find it.
(RUMBLING) You guys hear that? Is that thunder? That's not thunder.
That's boots on the ground.
(SOLDIERS CHANTING) The brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising.
I'm sorry, but tomorrow the brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising.
New plan.
Back to Ezekiel's old plan.
We steal both sides of the locket and get them out of here before tomorrow.
JANET: The museum closes in Oh! You again.
Yeah, I didn't touch it or Were you standing outside just now? No, I was closing up the gift shop.
And you didn't see a platoon of ghost solders just walk through these walls? No.
Should I have? I find it strange that you didn't.
Or it's strange that you did.
Come on, guys.
I think it's time we got going.
Lí Ban and Acionna were Celtic water goddesses.
Lí Ban, Acionna, ubiquitous.
Water, water, everywhere that's a quotation from, uh, "The Ancient Mariner.
" And I believe that I have Yes! We have a first edition of said book.
Oh! Ah-ha! Another note.
"The throne of the sun, the boar, and the ship's wheel at 11:00 p.
" Jeez, Zelpha, couldn't you just use Dewey Decimal? STONE: What about the motion sensors? (BEEPING) (BEEPS) You see? You would be lost without me in these kind of situations.
And yet I would not be lost without yours.
There's plenty of situations where I'd have the upper hand.
- Name three.
- Anything outdoorsy.
Huh? Anything fist-fighty.
Anything that deals with medieval Spanish love poetry.
Oh! Because we're always coming up against life or death Spanish medieval love poetry situations.
Girls, quit it.
You're both pretty.
I am so much prettier Okay.
Let's just say you had to tether one of us to the Library, which you do, - which one of us do you pick? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not answering that.
Baird, you said it yourself.
The Tethering Ceremony is weeks away.
Okay? You gotta pick somebody.
Is it gonna be me or is it gonna be him? Well, what makes you think I wouldn't pick Cassandra? - (GASPS) Cassandra? - I'm being serious here.
- I'm I'm prettier.
- Who's gonna do the heavy lifting? EZEKIEL: Jones is going to do the heavy lifting? Guys, the lockets aren't here.
I noticed she had a safe in her office.
Maybe she's keeping it there overnight.
Stone! Since you're so amazingly brilliant at everything, why don't you go crack open the safe? You want me to crack open the safe? I guarantee you I can.
If you can do it, then I can probably Puh-lease! Crack open a safe? You couldn't crack open an egg.
I'll crack open your head.
Oh, too easy.
It's a Hewlett-Taylor-Cooper Safematic Mark Four.
These things practically crack themselves.
Gotta admit, boy's got skills.
I got skills.
And a moral code.
Are you implying I don't? You're You're a thief.
Of course you don't.
I like to think I have my own moral code.
- Which is? - A work in progress.
Stone's got a point.
Being a Librarian is more than just about what's in here.
It's about what's in here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, great.
Now, how about what's in here? That's weird.
There's no locket halves.
Just a bunch of old photos.
Why would you keep old photos in a safe? Let me see these.
Who's Must be a picture of when she found the brothers' bodies.
Dated ten years ago? These look just like the photos from the museum.
Why hide these away? I don't trust this woman.
Miss Janet Hedge seems to be behind everything that's going on in this town.
What is That's a picture of Diana Loveday.
There's more detail in this original photo.
I've got just the thing.
Borrowed some super-secret government software.
It's a facial reconstruction program.
How long does that take? There's not much to go on, so it's just under nine hours.
Oh, nice try.
Trying to steal the Loveday locket, are you? Well, bad luck.
The locket is in a safe and secret location tonight.
I know how this must look.
It looks like you're trying to sabotage my festival, and we don't take kindly to saboteurs in my town.
And let me make something very clear.
- This is my town.
- (SIREN WAILING) (SIREN CHIRPS) MAN: When are they going to set bail? MAN 2: Not till after the ceremony.
MAN: The locket ceremony? MAN 2: Yeah, that's what they told me.
Guys, guys.
I just heard the cops talking.
They're not gonna set our bail until after the locket ceremony, which means we need to break out now if we're gonna stop it.
- Ezekiel, do something - They took my Game Boy off me! - What? - What? That's where I keep all my lockpicks.
That's a seriously old-fashioned door.
You would need some kind of strong metal pin to unlock it.
I got nothing.
Me neither.
But I can get you one.
Get me one how? Well, you see, my skillset allows me to see that this place was built 1930s.
Which means the original ceiling's been lowered.
Probably around 1970.
And given the light construction and the building codes of that time, this place was held together with metal pins.
Come on.
Give it.
- Here, take it.
- Give it.
- Here.
- Give it.
A little history lesson for you.
You're welcome.
(MOCKING) "A little history lesson for you.
" Thank you.
- Wakey-wakey.
- Oh.
Come on, Jenkins.
Up and at 'em.
Thinking caps on.
I refuse to lose a treasure hunt to Zelpha The Infuriating.
The Forgetful.
But I take your point.
Miss Cillian, not long ago it seems you agreed with Mr.
Dare that there should be only one Librarian, and now it seems you're proactively opposed to the idea.
May I ask why? I love being a Librarian.
I want to continue to be a Librarian, and if there's only one you know those kids in school who never got picked for sports teams? That was me.
So I just worry that if there's only one position, that I'm not going to make the cut.
But if we keep the team together, then I'm in.
When I say it out loud, it sounds selfish.
Well, if that's the case, then I'm being selfish, too, because quite frankly I like having all of you around.
"The throne of the sun, the boar, and the ship's wheel at 11:00 p.
" Could it be referencing heraldry? It could be.
A flag with a sun, a boar, and a ship's wheel.
Wait a minute.
It's It's the the Coat of Arms for Pure in Ardennes northern France.
Pure what's the rest of the clue? At 11:00 p.
11:00 p.
, night.
Pure night oh! Oh, Galahad, that it's you.
Galahad's throne? I've never had a throne.
But you do now.
It's your desk.
My desk.
But well, no, really.
I mean, I think that I would remember if somebo Jenkins.
Shrove Tuesday, 1782, Zelpha gave me a stack of letters to keep from My apologies.
They have been literally under my nose.
Well, I guess now we can find out the truth.
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING) Good luck in the battle, Yankee.
We don't need luck, Griz.
The outcome's already decided.
Oh, is it? Thank you, Abe.
I'll take it from here.
Is this on? Yes, it's on.
Hello, everybody! And welcome to the tenth annual Feud re-enactment Festival.
Not only are we celebrating history today, we are making it.
Today, for the first time in over 150 years, the two halves of the Loveday Locket will be reunited.
And who better to help perform this historic task are the brothers themselves Uriah and Carlton Loveday.
- (CHEERING) - Thank you, Abe.
- (RUMBLING) - History has been made.
She's already done it.
Tough crowd.
I think we're losing them.
Oh, good God.
Ghosts! Wait, wait.
She's not in on this? Detail, attention! Company to the ready! Janet, look what you're doing to the town! You have to break the locket! It won't break.
- Company! - March! - Forward march! - (WOMAN SCREAMS) - March! - (CROWD GASPING) Atten-hut! The ghosts are possessing the townspeople.
Yeah, these fake re-enactors aren't so fake anymore.
- I'm gonna break the locket.
- No, I'm gonna break the locket.
Boy, I am sick and tired of you.
Ever since school, undermining me, mocking me, stealing my boyfriends.
Greg and Brandon loved me, and you know it! You Yankee blowhard.
Confederate scum.
Griz, Devan, pull it together.
The Loveday brothers are trying to restart the Civil War.
Janet, give me the locket! No, no, no, no.
I've got a stronger grip than you.
Yeah, well, I've got the hands of a brain surgeon.
(GRUNTING) This is not one of your little techno gizmos! It's not one of your Spanish medieval love poems! BAIRD: No, guys, fight it! Don't let them take you, too! No! Come on, break.
Come on! Guys, are you you? What's wrong with a Spanish love poem? What's wrong with techno gizmos? No! No! BAIRD: Nothing's happened.
MAN: Ready! Aim! Fire! (GUNS FIRING) Everybody missed.
I couldn't do it, brother.
Me neither.
I never could.
You're possessed by the Loveday brothers.
You command their troops.
When you missed, everybody missed.
Company! Dismissed! MAN: Company, fall in! Forward, march! MAN: Company, fall in! Forward, march! Um, why are they still here? It is time you learned the truth.
Bring her.
That's private property.
Jones, magnifying glass? The locket they died with it in one piece, which means you chose Stone and Jones for a reason.
You knew they would put their guns down, just like you did.
(SOLDIERS SHOUTING) (MUTED SHOUTING) BAIRD: In the end, you couldn't kill your brother.
You forgot about war.
But war didn't forget about you.
(EXPLOSION) You changed the end of the story, didn't you? You found the brothers with the locket put back together.
Tell the truth, Janet.
I had to keep your feud going.
No feud, meant no Feud museum, meant the end of my lovely town.
And visitor numbers were dropping.
That's the only reason I had to find the other side of the locket now, to keep the crowds coming back.
We'd have nothing if we'd let the truth get in the way.
The truth that two brothers loved each other so much, they reconciled in the middle of battle.
That's an even better story, and it's filled with hope.
You just wanted your story told, didn't you? So the town would know how awful war really is, to show them why you chose peace.
But what made you end your feud? BOTH: The people they loved.
Uriah's son was killed not but a mile from here and he was 12 years old.
I don't know anything that would drive a man away from war faster.
(BEEPING) Uh, Stone, you need to see this.
The facial reconstruction of Diana It's complete.
The wife of a Confederate General in the Southern states, but they were never legally married.
It was forbidden then, and it was true love.
That's why Carlton turned his back on the Confederate cause.
I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
Milton's story's still not finished yet.
He's still looking for what he lost on the battlefield.
Your cap.
You were looking for your cap.
You Here.
I think your son needs this.
So you think the economy of your town would collapse if the truth came out? Well, think again, sister.
It's a story of hope.
It's a story of love.
It's brothers being brothers, and right now, that is exactly what this world needs.
Of course you'll have to change the name of your town again.
To what? Forgiveness.
The Forgiveness Festival.
Guys, look.
Well, that's one Civil War town that's a little more civil.
And good news.
We've changed our minds.
There should absolutely be more than one Librarian in the library, especially if our Librarians are as united as Jones and Stone.
Oh, okay.
Well, this is awkward.
Um, we discovered a group of letters between the Westphalian brothers, and reading them, it becomes pretty clear as to why they fell apart.
The root sin seems to be that they both became excessively selfish, putting their own personal interests ahead of the Library's.
Which is what we've all be doing.
I wanted us all to stay Librarians because I wanted to be a Librarian.
So we have come to agree with Mr.
So you've changed your minds about how many Librarians there should be, we've changed our minds about how many Librarians there should be, so we're all still in complete disagreement about how many Librarians there should be.
And the Tethering Ceremony is approaching fast.
So where do we go from here?