The Long Firm (2004) s01e01 Episode Script

Teddy's Story

1 I'm nearly as old as the century, and I feel it! Ceremonial introduction is so solemn and ridiculous.
A younger me would have run screaming into the night at the thought of it, but it's so very calm and soothing.
I find myself lulled into going along with almost anything these days.
I try to move with a dignified processional rhythm, but it's hard not to swagger a bit.
It makes the Masons look like the Boy Scouts.
I have other rituals.
Get your cock out.
"Mutual masturbation", I believe is the current parlance.
But there's an archaic word which describes it far better - slick-megging.
Frightfully dangerous, of course.
But the best things often are.
Tom Driver is introducing me to Harry Starks.
The name means nothing.
- Here we are.
- Sounds Jewish, Still, Tom's contacts always hold some strange promise.
(MAN) We're living in a golden age.
The consumer age, they're calling it.
For the first time ever, ordinary common people are not only encouraged to have money, they're expected to have it.
Money to consume with.
Money to buy happiness.
Money to change the world.
Where's this money coming from? How do we get it? We have to take it.
The best way to take, in my experience, is to give.
You give people what they want, and they'll give you what you want.
You give people what they wish for, they'll give you their soul.
Yeah? To wishing.
Excuse me, gents.
I'll be right back.
- Hello there.
- Good evening.
Teddy, this is Harry.
Harry Starks, Lord Thursby.
Please, Tom! - I'm honoured, Your Lordship.
- Please, call me Teddy.
If it's all the same to you, I prefer "Your Lordship"! Harry's a very successful local businessman, aren't you? - Does charity work in the East End.
- Boys' clubs.
Boys' clubs? The very thing.
Maybe you're even more active in that department than me, Your Lordship? Craig.
This is former Conservative MP Lord Edward Thursby.
- Hello.
- All right? He's a very important man.
A lot of responsibility, a lot of stress.
- It's lonely at the top, isn't that right? - Please, no fuss! Perhaps you could ease his loneliness later, Craig, if you know what I mean.
God, you'll do no such thing! You're a guest in my home.
I won't hear another word.
Craig, start the film.
Get His Lordship a proper drink and anything else he wants.
Be careful what you wish for, Your Lordship.
Here we go.
Thank you.
Are you part of the entourage? Or maybe the entertainment? If that isn't frightfully rude.
- I just come for the party.
- I see.
Harry Likes his parties.
Are they always like this? Is this your first time? Yes, in a manner of speaking.
I never felt like a proper homo until I met Harry.
I know what you mean.
- Where are you taking me? - Come on.
(HARRY) You're a nice-looking kid.
So are you.
I mean No, no.
There's a lot of things I am, but pretty ain't one of them.
- I don't know - My Auntie May says I'm born to hang.
- Hey, all right, girls? - Piss off! I like Harry immensely.
He isn't afraid of homosexuality.
He isn't afraid of anything.
The rest of my life consists of tolerating my arsehole of a wife and living in relative luxury at our own private lodge, Hartwell-Juxta-Mare.
I realise the effect a separation would have on you professionally.
So I'm prepared to continue with this charade under certain conditions.
The lodge is looking shabby.
What happened to that builder of yours? £250 a month to be paid into my account at the Chase National.
Plus a separate financial provision to deal with your irate creditors.
Such a nice young man.
He breathed life into the Belvedere.
Plus £2,000 in a lump sum to pay for renovations.
- I don't have that kind of money! - You don't have any kind of money.
No, you've got it all! You never cared for me, did you? - I get so lonely out here.
- Then why don't you divorce me? After all I've put up with? Oh, you won't get rid of me! I'm Lady fucking Thursby now.
Then you should start behaving like her! I don't know what you expect me to do with my life now you've become a homosexual.
Why don't you become a lesbian? I think you'd make a rather good lesbian.
Harry's invited me to his club.
A younger crowd than I'm used to, rather underdressed.
But no doubt achingly trendy.
Still, it makes a change from the Hartwell Conservatives with their dreary businessmen and constituency party Tories.
Over there, sir.
- Your Lordship.
Glad you could make it.
- I'm delighted to be here! - Have you met Manny, my accountant? - Hello.
- All right, Your Lordship? - That's Jock.
- Would you like a glass of champagne? - I'd love a glass of champagne! - This is wonderful! - It's the jewel in the crown.
I call it The Stardust.
You've heard of it? N It rings a vague bell.
Yes (HARRY) Look at these kids.
Look at the suits.
When I was their age, I was wearing me dad's old V-necks.
- In fact, I was still on rations.
- You've done very well.
I haven't even started yet! You see, people think the world revolves round sex.
Hmm? Sex and glamour.
But you and I know it's about much more than that.
Much more.
- Oh, hello! - All right? By way of reciprocation, I've invited Harry to Whites, one of the oldest and most prestigious clubs in London.
It retains a touch of aristocratic raffishness which I instinctively know he'll be drawn to.
- Ah, Harry.
So glad you could make it.
- I wouldn't miss this for the world.
- follow me.
Drink? - Why not? Nice place.
Wouldn't mind joining myself, one day.
- It's not cheap.
- The least of my worries.
Glad to hear it! - Dewar's? - Lovely.
All right? There you are.
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
Teddy, I'm starting up a new company.
Oh? I was thinking you'd make a good director.
Oh, well, I'm a bit tied up at the moment, Harry.
- I doubt I'd be much use.
- You wouldn't have to do anything.
- I don't mean an executive position.
- Oh.
I see.
You're a pillar of the community.
- You've made sacrifices, contributed - God bless you! Now is your chance to reap a little of what you've sown over the years.
It won't be any trouble.
Just turn up to the odd board meeting, the Annual General Meeting, stuff like that.
Like um Like a a mascot.
Well It really rather depends on er what's in it for me, Harry.
What's in it for you? Yes.
Your contract, Lord Thursby.
Harry's desire for legitimacy definitely has its possibilities for me.
And the name Lord Thursby is bound to look good on his letterheads.
But I worry that this is going to turn out to be some ghastly Faust/an pact.
The only difference, of course, being when Faust signed, he wasn't having his cock sucked by a 17-year-old wearing Cecil Gee.
Do you live with Harry? I just doss where it suits.
Would it suit you to doss here? I could pay Wu" Keep the place tidy, do the odd job.
I've got a job, working with Harry in the warehouse.
What do you do? Whatever he asks me to do.
How interesting.
If I looked after you “would you do whatever I asked you to do? I'll have to talk to Harry.
Harry has taken the gang to the pictures to see his favourite film, "Lawrence Of Arabia".
He says he's seen it 13 times.
It seems he has great admiration for upper-class men of act/on - Lawrence of Arabia, Gordon of Khartoum, Scott of the Antarctic.
I have a great admiration for lazy upper-class fruits who loll about all day, pleasuring themselves.
That film gets better every time I see it.
- Bleedin' sand gets everywhere! - Oh, Jock! Don't take the piss! Lawrence was a real man, proper guts.
And he was bent.
He was as hard as they come.
- It's only a film, Harry.
- It's what makes the world go round, fighting for what you believe in.
Isn't that right, Teddy? Poor Harry takes it all so seriously and fatally imagines that I do too.
Your overdraft is now £1,000 higher than it was a year ago.
Not only that, but your borrowing is costing you 150 a year in interest.
Now, I have to tell you, investiture or no investiture, we can't be so lenient now.
Well, um, I'm considering writing my memoirs.
I'm warning you, Teddy, if you don't come up with something soon, Head Office will want to know why.
Somebody help me, yeah Somebody help me now Won't somebody tell me what I've done wrong? - What's this? - Winnings.
- But I didn't bet on that race.
- I'm putting you on a monthly retainer.
As a business consultant.
- Wh - Occasionally I'll ask the odd favour.
You're raising the bar, Harry.
How else are you gonna pay the new houseboy? Craig.
Here you are.
Go and win some more money.
Craig will take care of you.
Make me feel all right Somebody help me, yeah Somebody help me now Won't somebody tell me what I've done wrong? Somebody help me, yeah I've put your blood money into your account.
Do shut up, Teddy.
You're lucky I don't ask for more.
Harry! Good God! Is that him? Yes.
Shall I ask him to join us? After all, it's his money you're spending.
- For God's sake.
He looks Jewish.
- Jewish?! Good gracious! Still, at least he isn't homosexual.
Listen to me, Teddy.
I no longer care who or what you fuck, but if there's a scandal, we're both ruined.
I am not fucking him.
We are just good friends.
Oh, I forget.
You don't have any friends, do you? Harry, my dear chap.
What a marvellous surprise! - How are you? - Very well, thank you.
- This is my wife Ruth.
- How do you do? I can't say it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Starks, but I will say I've been curious.
You know what they say about curiosity, love.
- I know what they say about you.
- All right, dear, fangs away.
Harry's my business partner.
I'd like you to show him some respect.
And what kind of business is that? (TEDDY) Boring business.
Terrible business.
The way Ruth carries on, you'd think it was arms dealing.
That's what all the toffs do now.
If only! I'd be able to retire and drink Krug until my fucking nose bleeds.
All right, Jock? Yeah, great, Harry.
I've just unloaded 25 fridges and a dozen toasters.
Good man.
30 cookers on the van.
I'm saving them till last.
- Very wise.
- Must get on, boss.
Yeah? All right, great.
- All right, Manny? - All right, boss? Your Lordship.
Now, that is Mr Pinker's desk.
- Ah.
- Pinker's the manager.
No one sits at Pinker's desk and no one touches Pinker's drawers.
I wouldn't dream of it! Anyone asks you anything, tell them to ask Mr Pinker.
- Pinker's the boss.
- Where does one find Mr Pinker? He's not here.
You don't talk to him, he doesn't talk to you.
- I'm a shareholder.
Surely I - Nobody talks to Mr Pinker.
Now, look, Harry He's very poorly.
He's sickly, isn't he, Manny? He's not a well man, boss.
In fact, we call him Sickly Pinker 'cause he's so sick.
- Come on, this is ridiculous.
- Yeah, ridiculous.
But true.
At least try and make it look legitimate, Harry! It's all legit, Your Lordship.
I've got receipts and everything.
Signed invoices.
You'd be amazed.
Signed by whom? Mr Pinker, by any chance? To be honest, I'm worried about the precarious nature of Harry's entrepreneurial activities.
You know, there are opportunities for you to expand, Harry.
The bigger your business, the better it looks.
I've thought of a way that we can legitimise our business interests.
I thought you didn't know much about business.
Well, perhaps I know more than you think I know.
You see, the problem is all your capital is invested in small local enterprises.
And what we want is something big, overseas.
- Something offshore, yeah? - I was thinking of Africa.
They're trying to get rid of the socialists.
They need all the capitalists they can get.
What we need is a nice little business empire in the colonies.
- An empire? - A business empire to get our teeth into.
A chance to show what we're really made of.
Right now, the government is rewarding large enterprise in a big way.
Tax breaks, various payouts What about a New Year's honour? I wouldn't mind a peerage.
I mean, what have you got that I haven't? - Well - In fact, a knighthood would suit me.
I love that bit with the sword.
Well, it's not unheard of! Sir Harry.
Sir Starks.
Sir Harry Starks.
Craig? Away? I don't believe you couldn't sell a Queen Anne.
I'm shocked! I'd just turn around again and keep going, if I were you.
- I was having it valued.
- Craig! Try as I might, I cannot imagine you intended to have everything of mine valued.
Please, Teddy! It's like everybody's rich.
Everywhere I look - birds, blokes.
You don't know what it's like! I've never had what you had.
You don't know what it does to me knowing I'll never have it.
Well We'll just call it the folly of youth, shall we? This is the problem with growth and prosperity.
The temptation.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) - No secret handshake today, George? - Detective Inspector Mooney, West End Central, to you.
No butler, Your Lordship? Not even a houseboy? Very fashionable.
Even Harry Starks has a houseboy or two.
In fact, it was this lad Craig I hoped to have a word with.
The lad who lives here.
Your son, is it? Or have I got that wrong? Nephew? Friend? Don't forget who I am.
Oh, I won't.
- And neither will Fleet Street.
- What do you want? There's this new tax I'm collecting, see.
£200 tax on houseboys.
If it's all the same to you.
Craig? I'm completely cleaned out, Harry.
In one fell swoop.
I've never been so humiliated! What am I going to do? Thanks, Harry.
I owe you for this.
- (TV) The body of Sir Winston Churchill - (HARRY) Never see his like again.
To the last great Empire man.
I find myself turning to Harry more and more.
To everyone else I'm just a dreary old sissy.
But I believe I'm important to him.
I was one of the few who stood by him in the wilderness years.
Foolish I may be, but always loyal.
"Ex unitate vires", we used to say at school.
"Finding in unity strength.
" Thank you, Teddy.
- Steady on, old chap.
Get a grip.
- What do you mean? Harry's my friend.
For the time being.
Then you do what everybody does with his sort.
Milk him before he milks you.
Then lose him.
Milk him? I have no intention of milking anybody! (CHURCHILL) Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down.
Give us the tools and we will finish the job.
Have you given any more thought to this Africa business? Yes, I have, actually.
I'm due in the House of Lords on Monday, a debate about overseas aid.
The newly independent states - Uganda, Zaire, Nigeria.
- That's convenient.
- Huge country, Nigeria, rich in resources.
It's also hugely unstable.
It's ripe for modernisation.
just needs a firm hand before it's too late.
You mean my firm takes over before the commies do? Consumerism, Harry.
Somebody's got to feed the monster! Like Lawrence and the Arabs? Well Yes, actually.
Very like Lawrence.
Just be nice to him.
Spoil him a bit.
Look after him.
Harry! Harry Starks.
John Ogungbe.
John's come from Nigeria to study civil engineering.
- Engineering? Building bridges and that? - Construction.
That's right, isn't it? Yes.
I have heard about your various businesses, Mr Starks.
- Oh? - I've also heard you are a great idealist.
Perhaps I can learn something from you.
We could all learn something from Harry! - Would you like a drink, John? - Oh, yes.
Get some champagne over here, Bob.
- Make yourself comfortable.
- Thank you.
I am planning to build a township near Enugu in southern Nigeria.
3,000 houses and also a shopping precinct.
Now you're speaking my language! I am determined to use my English education to improve living standards for Nigerians.
The more they know, the more they spend! Here we go.
I am dividing my time between here and Nigeria in the hope of securing support for this scheme.
You've come to the right place, John.
Harry is a visionary.
- Just like you, John.
- To men of vision.
- Men of vision.
- Cheers! Men of vision.
- Have you met Brenda? - Brenda, this is John.
- Brenda.
- Hello.
Open your mouth, Craig! Get this down ya! Go on, have it! Get it down ya! (HARRY) Thursby's mine, get me? (MAN) Hold his head back, Jock.
I'll tell everyone about him! All your posh friends! I've invested heavily in him and he's mine, you understand? Close the door, Teddy.
Give us some privacy.
Poor Craig.
All my fault, of course.
Until now I haven't thought about the real nastiness of what Harry gets up to.
The ugliness behind the charm.
What really lurks behind the scenes of his rackets.
He's a one-man cyclone of dysfunction.
In my own decline I'm left with an abiding sense of failure.
A wasted career, a rotten marriage, constant money worries.
I've utterly failed to resist temptation.
I've given in to beastly lusts.
I feel resigned to slow decline, clinging to some vague hope of redemption, yet wallowing in the inevitable descent into decadence.
(JOHN) You should know that for an initial investment of £25,000 you could realise a profit of as much as £200,000, perhaps more.
Yes, very lucrative.
Of course, you'd be required to make extra payments during construction.
- Extra payments? - Unforeseen expenses are very common.
No, this is not good.
Unforeseen? It's inevitable.
You will get very used to this.
Inevitable? Unforeseen and inevitable? This is not good.
- They're tax-deductible, Manny.
- Harry don't pay tax.
Well, it's just good business practice, Harry.
- For all of us.
- That is it.
Good for all of us.
Any questions, gentlemen? Yeah, I got a question.
This new township.
What are you gonna call it? Something to do with lions, perhaps.
Simba, to symbolise great strength.
I like lions very much.
Tell you what.
Call it Starksville and you've got a deal.
Starksville it is! Starksville it is! I feel a terrible foreboding as I cling to the last vestiges of my tame, well-ordered life.
Harry is like some darkened rogue planet, pulling everyone into his magnetic field, then blasting them off into orbit to do his bidding.
- What's this? - Progress.
- It's a man holding a spade.
- He is digging.
Digging what? Bleedin' turnips? Very funny joke! I like his English jokes! Yeah? Where's the houses? Where's the shopping precinct? Where's the jungle? That could be Whipsnade! - There have been a few setbacks.
- Setbacks.
I'll give you setbacks, you cheeky bastard! Harry! Harry! Please.
We have to give him the benefit of the doubt.
We have to learn to trust him - or look as though we do.
- I don't trust him! - That's the nature of business.
Nobody really trusts anybody.
But there is a social contract.
It's just good manners.
Since when did good manners have anything to do with business? Legitimate business is a different matter.
No, no, don't talk to me about business, Teddy! I know all about business.
In fact, come with me.
I'll show you about business.
Now! Come on.
Come on! I'll give you business! Here we are.
Have a look at this.
It's called the long firm.
One of the best scams around.
Do you remember Mr Pinker? He died 20 years ago.
But his birth certificate's still valid.
You can get all the documents you need to run a business with a birth certificate.
So you register a company, rent a warehouse, bribe a few influential faces to be non-executive board directors.
Then you start trading.
You buy up all the stock you can lay your hands on.
And you pay your first invoice on the dot.
Then you get the goods on credit.
Delay payment until you got a warehouse full and then bang! Sell, sell, sell! Close up, you disappear and leave Mr Pinker to pick up the pieces.
It's got everything.
The debt, expenditure, profit.
That's capitalism.
And that, my old son, is business.
To all the long firms I ever done and to all the ones that are yet to come.
Cheers, everyone.
Good work.
- Oh, hello! - Come on, Teddy.
I think I've had just a little bit too much.
So do I.
Remember this? Eh? - What's the matter? Can't get it up? - The old prick can't get it up! (CRAIG) Hold him down.
- Put it in his mouth.
Go on.
- Harry! It seems I've misjudged Harry.
(PHONE RINGS) I misjudged his hardness.
And my own gentleness.
For which nobody has any use In this thrusting new age.
This is my fate and I must bear it with all the courage I can muster.
Yes? Harry! Well, um, I It's not really convenient at the moment.
Yes, of course.
Course, Harry.
Right away.
Go through.
Go on.
Go on.
You're all right.
Go on.
Come in.
Sit down.
No, not there.
The chair.
Jesus! Right.
We are going to Africa to sort this shit out for proper.
Oh! Oh, well, that's fabulous.
You'll have a ball.
Er, when When are you planning on leaving? "We", Teddy.
I said "we".
Oh, well, Harry, my dear chap The thing is, what we think is, you have a commitment.
(MANNY) You have a contract.
That's right.
A contract.
Where is it? Show Teddy the contract.
Naughty Teddy! I know it's called a consumer society, Your Lordship, but I think you've consumed quite enough! This whole business was your nutty idea.
I've poured a lot of gelt into this scam.
It's about fucking time it paid off! (ANNOUNCEMENTS OVER TANNOY) I still don't understand what I'm expected to do.
I mean, I've nothing to do with foreign affairs.
Look, just be with me, all right? I dunno what these Africans are up to, but a British dignitary with me can't hurt.
- I have no choice at all in this, do I? - Teddy, pull yourself together.
Come on, it'll be fun.
Welcome to my wonderful country.
Mr Starks.
How are you? - Well, I could be better, John.
- Ah.
Please stop waving at them! Welcome, Lord Thursby.
It's a great honour.
- Thank you.
- Welcome, Lord Thursby.
A great honour.
Thank you.
Welcome, Lord Starks.
It's a great honour.
- Call me Mr Starks.
- You're not a lord? Well, something like that.
My friends call me Harry.
I'm Dr Chukwurah, the regional minister.
You'll have to get used to me hanging round.
- Minister - We'll visit the construction site tomorrow.
If that is convenient.
Meanwhile, there is a party in your honour.
- This way, please.
- Party? We like parties, don't we, Teddy? You're a good dancer.
You can take Harry out of The Stardust, but you'll never take The Stardust out of Harry.
Already people sense he's different to the usual colonial day trippers.
- Can I have a quiet word? - Certainly.
The government is very keen to encourage overseas investment and development, but it is important to make sure this expansion is regulated.
We can't have people coming over to make a quick buck.
As a politician I'm sure you'll understand we need long-term commitment.
- Just as it should be.
- Indeed.
John Ogungbe is a very ambitious young man.
He has, as we say here, got a very big eye.
I wouldn't want you to get out of your depth.
You're a long way from home.
Teddy! Teddy! Isn't it marvellous, eh? The Third World.
I never even knew there was a second one! The people are really friendly.
Really lovely people.
- We'll do well here.
- You behave yourself! See? I do not like the look of this.
As you can see, progress is slow but very steady.
Steady? I'll give you steady! You haven't even started yet.
We wait for cement.
- Cement? - There has been a long hold-up.
I go to Lagos today to sort it out.
You know, there are always delays from time to time.
What does he mean, "cement"? It's obviously the sort of petty hold-up we've been warned about.
- Yeah, but I know all about cement.
- I've no doubt you do.
What could be the problem in getting hold of cement? Hold on, where's he gone? Gone to fetch some cement, by any chance? (HARRY) I've got a very bad feeling about all this.
I hope your visit has been a success, Your Lordship.
I hope you are now sufficiently reassured.
- Absolutely.
- Here's to a safe passage home.
Thank you.
Should you find yourself in difficulties, you can reach me on this number.
You may find it hard to get through.
I advise you to persist.
Thank you.
- What did he want? - Not much.
He hoped our visit had been a success and wished us bon voyage.
Um, yes.
Could you tell Mr Harold Starks I'll be five minutes late for breakfast? What do you mean he's checked out? Hi.
Morning, Teddy.
- Brought you a nice cup of tea.
- Harry! Oh! You ineducable bastard! Where the hell have you been? I needed to find out a few things.
I don't expect much, Harry, but just a little sensitivity wouldn't be asking too much, would it? - Teddy - But no, not you.
It's all "Me, me, me" with you.
- Teddy - I want to know when we're going home.
We're not going home just yet.
I'd advise against that.
Get your hands off me, you bloody hooligan! - Why the hell did you do that? - We don't have time for this.
I might have expected this.
When all else fails, resort to brute intimidation.
Ow! Will you stop doing that! I haven't even started yet.
I warn you, Harry, I will not be intimidated.
Ow! No, please don't hit me any more.
I can't take it! I just I just want to go home! All right.
Shh! Listen.
Shh! Shh! We've been had over.
If that bastard thinks he can get away with it, he's got another think coming.
Harry, I really think that you should walk away from this one.
- Walk away? - Yes.
You silly old queen.
Do you think I can walk away from all that money? - What are you going to do? - "We", Teddy.
It's "we".
I won't tell you again.
- There's our cement, Teddy.
- Where? - Out there.
The ship.
- How can you tell? - I can tell.
- What's it doing out there? - It should come into port to be unloaded.
- So you'd think, but that ain't the way Mr Ogungbe works.
He keeps it out there? On the water, on purpose? Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, well, now I'm completely lost.
It's simple.
Ogungbe's fixed it so there's a problem with the import license.
The cement arrives, waits offshore, can't dock.
We have to pay the shipping company compensation every day the ship's out there.
If it stays there long enough, we pay more than if they deliver the cement.
They sell it somewhere else and split the money with Ogungbe.
- It's a brilliant racket.
- He's a bloody con man.
- It takes one to know one.
- We should tell the consulate.
It's too late.
He's already got our money.
No, we're gonna do this my way.
What? I've found the little bastard.
Now, Harry, look.
You know I can't abide violence.
I'm just no good at that sort of thing.
Good job I'm an expert, then.
- I'm not hitting anyone.
- Just reassure him.
Talk to him.
Make him see the error of his ways.
Then I'll hit him.
Not so fucking fast, pal! - Teddy, get a chair.
- A what? A chair! Oh, Christ! I ain't gonna enjoy this any more than you.
But needs must, as they say.
I want the truth.
The whole truth.
By the time I've finished with you, I'm gonna have it! You think I'm made of money, do you? - Think I've got money to burn? - This is not your country.
It is now.
Please, Thursby! It could have been really good.
I wanted it to be really good.
Not dodgy like everything else.
I had big plans.
But you had your own big plans, didn't you, and that really pisses me off, John.
You really hurt me.
So now I'm gonna really hurt you.
Make him stop! John, be reasonable.
Harry is very upset.
And understandably so.
You have a great deal of his money.
It's only fair to expect him to want it back.
(HE LAUGHS) What's so funny? Don't you laugh at me! You think all Africans are innocent natives! You thought you could make money out of stupid piccaninnies! You wanted quick profit from crooked money.
But we've learnt well from our colonial masters! The imperial gangsters! (SPEAKS IN AFRICAN LANGUAGE) That's enough fannying about! Give me my fucking money - or I'll blow your fucking head off! - Drop your weapon! - Drop your weapon now! - Who the fuck are you? - Now! - Behold our glorious armed forces.
I should warn you they are notoriously trigger-happy.
Now! Thank you for leading us to Mr Ogungbe.
- That was quite a disappearing act! - What is going on here? You have a big eye and a long throat, Ogungbe.
See that it doesn't get the better of you again.
Minister Doctor Please! (SCREAMS) Now, fuck off back to your tired little island before I get angry.
There you are.
John, get the bags.
In the end, I can't help feeling sorry for Harry.
He wanted so badly to eat at the big table.
Couple of large brandies, Bob.
But the classless society is as much a cheap con as one of Harry's long firms.
It's an illusion.
I can be part of Harry's world any time I like.
He'll never be part of mine.
But somehow I think he'll never stop trying.
As I stand here In the shadows With tears streaming down my face I can see you With another The one Who has taken my place And it hurts me Oh, it hurts me