The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (2006) s01e02 Episode Script

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya I

Shortly after a month had passed since entering school
much like Sisyphus forced to eternally roll a boulder uphill
I'd had my fill of this mandatory morning hiking course.
But then, as if being dealt the final blow
my normal life came to a grinding halt when the incident happened.
Began would be more accurate.
If there isn't one, I just have to make it myself!
A club!
Assist me.
I just came up with a name!
SOS Brigade!
Thanks to Haruhi Suzumiya
eccentric among eccentrics, my journey through never-ending hell had begun.
Good morning!
Good morning.
I forgot that I had to do today's class duties.
I have to hurry to the staff office and ask for the diary.
I'm going on ahead!
It's hard to believe a girl like her is in the same class when
Hey, Kyon.
What else do you think we need?
For what?
I really want to get my hands on a mysterious transfer student, don't you think?
I'm begging you.
Establish the context before you start talking.
What the SOS Brigade needs!
I at least want a mysterious transfer student.
I'd like you to define mysterious first.
It hasn't even been two months since the new term began.
Anyone who transfers in at this point must qualify as mysterious, right?
You agree, right?
Maybe the student's dad was suddenly transferred.
That's abnormal.
What would you consider normal?
I'd like to know that.
I wonder if a mysterious transfer student will show up.
In other words, you don't give a damn what I think
Do you
It would appear that a rumor had spread that Haruhi and I were plotting something.
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya II
What are you and Suzumiya up to?
Don't tell me you're going out.
Absolutely not.
I'm the one who would like to know exactly what the hell we're doing.
Don't overdo it.
We're not in middle school anymore.
If you render the grounds unusable
they'll at least suspend you.
I have to at least prevent Yuki Nagato and Mikuru Asahina-san from coming to any harm.
After the SOS Brigade was founded
the bleakness of the former literary clubroom
was replaced by a growing number of items.
I mean. Is she planning on living here?
A computer would be nice, too.
We're living in the information age and yet we don't have a single computer
I can't forgive them!
Can't forgive who?
Let's go scrounge one up.
Hey, now.
Do you actually have any leads?
Are you planning on raiding an electronics store?
Of course not.
Computer Research Society
There's one much closer.
We're here to take one set of computer and peripherals!
Who's the leader?
Do you need something?
There's only one reason I would come in person to the Computer Research Society.
I only need one
so give me a computer.
What are you talking about?
One can't hurt.
You've got so many!
Now look here.
Wait. Who are you people?
The SOS Brigade Chief, Haruhi Suzumiya.
These two are subordinates #1 and #2.
There you have it.
Stop your grumbling and hand one over.
For what reason!?
There's no way I would ever do that!
I see.
Well, I have my own ideas about that.
What's this!?
Wh-What are you trying to do!?
One more shot!
What are you doing!?
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.
I've got pictures of your sexual harassment now.
If you don't want me to spread these pictures around school
pay up and hand over a computer.
That's ridiculous!
You forced me to do it!
I'm innocent!
And how many people do you think will believe your words?
A-All the members here are witnesses!
That's right!
It wasn't the prez's fault!
I'll say that the whole club was planning on - her!
That's taking it too far
What will it be?
Are you going to hand it over?
Or not?
Take whichever one you want
Hang in there!
Get a hold of yourself!
It wasn't your fault!
Is this supposed to be a comedy?
Which one's the newest?
Why do I have to tell you that!?
Damn it.
That one.
I looked over all the newest models at the computer shop yesterday.
This wasn't one of them.
Give me this one!
H-Hold on!
We just bought that last month!
Take it, you thief.
It's as you say.
We're thieves.
Come on, Kyon.
Carry this.
And so, just like that
after blackmailing herself a spanking new computer
Haruhi, discovering that the literary clubroom wasn't equipped for Internet use
summoned the Computer Society's president and members
and had them run a LAN cable between our rooms.
She even had him set it up so we could connect through the school's domain.
This is what you call an extortionist.
Let's go back for now.
You shouldn't get involved with such a weird group.
Who knows what else she'll do to you.
It's okay.
You're also here, aren't you?
This was probably an inevitability on this time plane.
And I'm concerned about why Nagato-san is here.
What about it?
It's nothing.
I may be inexperienced
but I hope to get along with everyone.
Also, if you'd like
please call me Mikuru-chan.
SOS Brig
SOS Briga
What was next?
SOS Brigad
SOS Brigade
SOS Brigade W
SOS Brigade We
SOS Brigade Web
SOS Brigade Webs
SOS Brigade Websi
SOS Brigade Websit
SOS Brigade Website
SOS Brigade Website L
SOS Brigade Website La
SOS Brigade Website Lau
SOS Brigade Website Laun
SOS Brigade Website Launc
SOS Brigade Website Launch
So? Who's going to make it?
That site or whatever.
You've got time, don't you?
Make it.
I have to find more members.
Have it finished in a day or two.
We can't participate in any activities until a site's up.
Making a website, huh
And despite all the grumbling, I actually enjoyed making it.
The Computer Society had installed most of the necessary programs so it was pretty simple.
Not a bad way to kill time during lunch break.
You are the
th visitor to this site.
Welcome to the SOS Brigade's Website!
Mail us at
This website is best viewed at 1024x768.
Speaking of which, what am I supposed to put on here?
After all, I still have no idea what the SOS Brigade does.
Do you have anything you want to put on the site?
Not that I care, but
she does go to class, right?
Time for class.
I'll lend you this.
Dan Simmons
I still have my misgivings
so why is it that I continue commuting to the clubroom?
Why, indeed
Is this the power of habit?
What a riot.
And yeah. Are these two really that bored?
Though I guess I'm not one to talk.
Where's Suzumiya-san?
Beats me.
She was already gone during sixth period.
Perhaps she's off extorting more equipment.
Will I be forced to do something like yesterday again
Do not worry.
Next time, I'll do everything I can to prevent it.
Thank you!
I'm counting on you then!
You can count on me.
First up is this!
A proclamation of the SOS Brigade creed
And this.
We're going to distribute flyers wearing these.
Where at?
The front gate.
There should be plenty of students heading home right now.
What are we wearing?
I wasn't talking about you.
Mikuru-chan's the one who's wearing this.
Bunny girl!
Um Um
What do you
Come on!
Get changed! Get changed!
I don't want to!
Shut up!
Take it off! Take it off!
Hey, Suzumiya!
What are you doing!?
Don't look!
Come on! Do as I say!
Take it all off!
At least let me undress myself
Come on in!
She's like some evil feudal lord.
What do you think?
This'll be perfect for attracting attention, right?
More like suck in attention
What about Nagato?
I could only buy two of them.
I got the full set so it was expensive.
Where do they sell this stuff?
I ordered it online.
I see.
I'm off then!
Let's go, Mikuru-chan!
Let's go!
To be honest, I can't get enough of that outfit.
My passion is running wild.
Good grief
I can still feel their body heat.
It's all warm.
A proclamation of the SOS Brigade creed
Our SOS Brigade is looking for mysteries of the world.
People who have experienced something mysterious in the past
People who have run into something mysterious recently
People who plan on a mysterious experience in the near future
If any of the above apply to you, come see us!
We will solve your problem on the spot!
However, a normal mystery will not do.
It has to be a mystery that wows us!
Make note of that!
I think I'm starting to understand the purpose of this brigade.
I'm pissed!
What's with those stupid teachers?
They're such a pain! A pain!
Was there some kind of a problem?
Way beyond that!
We hadn't even distributed half the flyers
and the teachers told us to stop!
Who do they think they are!?
If two bunny girls
start handing out flyers at the front gate
people who aren't teachers will come running.
Mikuru-chan started sobbing
I was dragged to the student guidance office
Even that handball moron Okabe was brought in!
They were probably all on the verge of tears.
That's enough for today!
How long are you going to keep crying!?
Come on!
Get changed!
If I become ruined for marriage
will you take me?
What should I say?
From behind, you look like a student who just failed to get into college.
Or a salaryman after buying a house beyond his budget.
You're going to call me that, too?
The next day, the name Haruhi Suzumiya had transcended mere notoriety
and became common knowledge for all students.
Man, Kyon.
You've finally become one of Suzumiya's merry friends.
Shut up.
What's even worse is that
Asahina-san's name and mine had become associated with hers.
I was really surprised yesterday.
I mean, there were bunny girls standing at the front gate.
The other one was that second-year, Asahina-san, right?
The whole school has their attention on you guys now.
What is this SOS Brigade?
Ask Suzumiya.
I have no idea.
Don't want to know either.
It looks like you people are having fun.
But I think that was going a bit too far.
Asahina-san was absent from school that day.
Why don't we ever get e-mails?
After all that publicity!
There aren't any people curious enough to want to get involved after witnessing your publicity.
I'll admit that you've made us famous though.
Is Mikuru-chan absent today?
She might not ever come back.
I hope she doesn't become traumatized by the ordeal.
I even brought a new outfit for her.
Wear it yourself.
Of course! I'm going to wear it, too.
But it's no fun when Mikuru-chan isn't here!
You could have Nagato wear it.
She'd probably put it on without any complaints.
And I get the feeling I wouldn't mind seeing that.
The SOS Brigade was just formed and we're already sitting around doing nothing.
I wonder if they're all holding back.
They want to keep the mystery to themselves?
Hey, Haruhi.
If you ask anybody here
they'll say, "No, there aren't any."
There's no way this little public high school would have mysteries bouncing around.
You understand, right?
The truth is that you understand, right?
Just that you have nowhere to vent the frustrations of youth
and that restlessness is leading you down a different path.
Snap out of it already.
How about you go find some handsome guy and walk home from school together
or go see a movie on Sundays?
And join some sports club and knock yourself out.
They'd make you a regular member in a flash.
I'm going home!
I'm going home, too.
Did you read it?
Read what?
The book.
No, not yet
Should I return it?
Not necessary.
But man
She's never one to mince words, huh
Read it today.
As soon as you get home.
I understand.
7 PM
Waiting in
the park
in front of
7 PM
Waiting in
the park
in front of
7 PM
Waiting in
the park
in front of
7 PM
Waiting in
the park
in front of
the park
in front of
Where are you going, Kyon-kun?
Don't talk while eating.
Was today okay?
Were you possibly waiting here yesterday as well?
Why here?
This way.
Where's your family?
They aren't here.
I can see that
Are they out?
I am the only one who is ever here.
You're living alone?
So what did you want?
Is it good?
I'm gonna explode.
Could you tell me why you brought me here?
What is it that you couldn't tell me at school?
About Haruhi Suzumiya.
And myself.
That is what I need to talk about.
What about Suzumiya and you?
It is difficult to convey in words.
Discrepancies may arise during the transmission of data.
Haruhi Suzumiya and I are not ordinary humans.
I kind of knew that already.
That isn't what I mean.
I am not referring to the absence of universally accepted personality traits
I mean what I said.
She and I are different from the vast majority of humans like yourself.
An organic life contact-purpose humanoid interface
created by the Data Integration Thought Entity which supervises this galaxy.
That would be me.
Say what?
In more common terminology
I would be classified as an alien.
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