The Middle s09e22 Episode Script

Split Decision

1 What's up? - I got it.
- What? They offered me the Denver job.
It's mine if I want it.
What job? Uh there's this sporting goods company out in Denver, and, uh, they offered me a job.
What do you mean, they offered you a job? I thought you liked the job you had.
Yeah, I do like my job.
This kind of came out of the blue.
I literally just got the offer.
Okay, wait, I'm confused.
What is happening? You're taking a job in Denver? No.
I mean, well, maybe.
I I don't know.
You're getting ahead of yourself.
Really? 'Cause I don't feel ahead.
I actually feel way behind.
So, Denver just called you up and offered you a job? Actually, they reached out to me a couple weeks ago.
So, I drove out to Denver for the day, did the interview, and came back.
Dad said not to tell you 'cause he didn't want you to freak out.
Oh, did he? Is that what he did? Well, this is a disaster.
The webbing on my chair's starting to unravel.
I can see by your faces you share my dismay.
So, that Royal Wedding was fun, huh? Sign me up for the next one.
[SMACKS LIPS] Hey, uh, I thought I'd go out and grab us some donuts.
You want anything? Hmm, let me think.
What do I want? I want my son back, that's what I want.
Come on, Frankie, I knew you'd be upset so I was just trying to shield you from all that.
Oh, thank you so much.
I just love it when men shield me from things.
You are so not trying to protect me.
You are trying to protect yourself from all of this.
Can you blame me? Look, I knew if I told you two weeks ago when he went on the interview, you'd be worrying this whole time, so I did you a favor and saved you from two whole weeks of worry.
You did not do me a favor.
If you had told me two weeks ago, I would be done with my worrying and I would be fine now.
So, you'll be fine in two weeks? No, I will not be fine in two weeks.
I will never be fine.
I cannot belive you aided and abetted him in this.
We didn't plan a bank heist, Frankie.
And besides, you're the one who pushed him to go to Europe.
Don't you dare throw my good mothering in my face.
That trip was to get traveling out of his system.
Now our son is actually moving to another city for his whole life.
This is like taking our seed and flinging it all the way to Denver.
Flinging our seed? What the hell are you talking about? Look, Frankie, this job that he might be taking is in Denver, not Antarctica.
It might as well be It's a 15-hour trip.
We don't have the money to fly, and our cars are all crappy.
We leave parts on the road every time we go above 50.
So he'll come visit us.
No, he won't.
It's very clear that we like him more than he likes us.
At least if we're in the same town, we'll run into him once and a while.
I just think you're making way too big a deal out of this.
Of course you do.
You want to kick him out of the nest because you're a man.
You want him to fly off to wherever he wants so you can live vicariously through him 'cause you know you're trapped here with me.
I don't know what I want him to do, Frankie.
I just want what's best for him.
Well, I am a mother, and I love my child enough to squash his dreams.
And if you are not mom enough to do that, then get out of my way.
And, yes, I do want donuts! [DOOR SLAMS] FRANKIE: So, while Axl was ripping my heart out, thinking about leaving home, Sue'd bet on staying home all summer in the hopes that with Sean just across the street, he'd finally come over and sweep her off her feet.
[MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS] [EXHALES SHARPLY] [HORSE NICKERS] But with Sean now going to Ghana, sadly, that was not the case.
[SIGHS] Or was it? Hey! I just came over to borrow a duffel bag for my trip.
Oh.
Yeah, my mom said you guys might have some luggage that you wouldn't mind losing.
[SCOFFS] Oh, yeah, we do.
We definitely do.
Oh, yep.
This must be it.
I would do a spider check if I were you.
Will do.
[CHUCKLES] Thanks.
So, are you excited? Oh, yeah.
I just found out I'm gonna be sharing a bunk house with a couple doctors from the medical school in Kumasi, so I'm psyched.
Should be cool probably learn a lot.
Oh, wow.
That is so great.
Well, you know what they say, "Live, love, learn.
" Was there a laugh in there, too? I can't remember.
[INHALES SHARPLY] Anyway W Uh, how 'bout you? Got any big plans for the summer? Oh, yeah, big plans big, big plans.
Let's see I may have a gig shadowing housekeeping at Orson Cozy Suites.
- Oh.
- What else? We got a new summer lite potato at Spudsy's half the sour cream and only two pumps of cheese, 'cause, ya know, swimsuits.
[BOTH CHUCKLING] Well, sounds like a really busy summer, very cool.
Yeah.
Well, um, I probably should get moving.
Nobody's "Ghana" pack these bags for me.
"Ghana.
" I see what you did there.
Well Oh.
[LAUGHS] [EXHALES SHARPLY] Well, bye, Suzy Q.
Yep.
Bye.
[SIGHS] Ooh, this is nice! Oh, check out that polyester weaving and brushed aluminum finish sturdy and attractive, yet lightweight.
How are you not leaping off the couch in excitement right now? [EXHALES SHARPLY] What are you even doing, Brick? You didn't hear? The fabric on my chair frayed, and so I thought, "Oh no, is this the beginning of the end for my chair?" So I got another one as a backup.
The whole family's talking about it.
Hold the phone! Maybe this will get you off the couch.
A bonus chair! Two for one, baby! You have two, but I will forever be one.
This is incredible.
This morning I had one frayed chair, and now I have a backup to my backup.
All my problems are solved.
Chair-mageddon has been avoided.
The chair recognizes Brick.
I'm breathing rarefied chair.
We need your daughter to chair up.
Ha! Sue, get up.
I'm never getting up! We got to figure out this Axl thing.
[SIGHS] Come on, we're not gonna solve anything by laying around and being depressed.
We got to come up with a plan.
Strategize.
Look, I don't want Axl to go, either, but you can't expect him to just ride up on a white horse and tell you he's staying.
It just doesn't work like that.
[GROANS] I was gonna do whatever it took to keep Axl here, including making his favorite dinner.
I made dinner! Sue, let's go! Hey, Mike, can you get Sue up off the couch? Okay.
There he is! Yeah.
- [GROANS] - What's with the chairs? Oh, when I was on the computer, a message popped up saying I might be interested in these other chairs, and you know what? They were right.
Well, I may be interested in the actual chairs that I bought.
Where'd those go? Dad, I feel like you're not embracing the whole chair movement that's going on right now.
If you don't sit down and take notice, it's gonna pass you by.
Pbht.
Let's just get this over with.
[SCOFFS] Get it over with? You mean have a great family dinner? Okay, Mike.
- [SIGHS] - So, what do you think? You notice how different parts of your butt squish through the webbing? You like it, but you're not sure why? It's not bad.
And you're closer to the food.
[CHAIR CREAKS] Axl likes the chairs.
We're keeping the chairs.
So, Axl, they give you any kind of a time frame? When do you have to let 'em know? [SIGHS] Well, I talked to them this morning.
I mean, they said I could take a week to think about it.
They know it's a big decision for me 'cause I'd be moving my whole life to Denver.
I mean, it's a cool city.
Yeah, yeah, it is cool.
I mean, you can't bake a cake there, so, just sayin', don't expect any cake.
What do you mean? Oh, you know, 'cause of the elevation.
They call it the "Mile High City" which, if you ask me, it's not a big selling point.
Who wants to be a mile high? I mean, seriously, you go a mile straight up right now tell me one good thing about it.
Just talking here, Frankie nothing's decided.
Yeah, no.
That's great.
That's what great about having a family dinner, so everybody can just kind of bounce ideas around, you know? So, w-what have ya been thinking? Like, just bounce, bounce, bounce.
I don't know.
I mean, part of me doesn't want to leave 'cause, you know, I don't want to be away from Lexie.
But then again, I'd make more money at the new job.
You know what's weird, is, like, when somebody comes to a really good decision, and then they say, "Then again.
" I have never understood that.
"Then again" is a really overused phrase.
Then again, it is his decision, Frankie.
It's just so hard.
I mean, I even made a list and everything.
Honestly, one of my biggest cons for leaving is - Can you pass the egg rolls? - Not now, Sue! So, you were saying something about cons? Um, yeah.
I was saying one of my biggest cons for leaving is that I really do like my job here.
Yeah, it is a good job.
It's a really good job.
Take it from me, I've hated every job I've ever had.
If you like your job, that is not something to take lightly.
Even Jesus didn't like his first job.
That's why he switched from carpenter to savior.
Yeah, but get this the new job comes with a company car.
Mike, remember that friend you had that sold medical supplies? Didn't he have a company car? - Yeah.
- And he died.
He had a heart attack.
W-Whatever.
I'm just saying he had a company car and he died, so you guys do the math.
Uh, yeah, well, look, it's not even really about the car.
I mean, just the whole company has a really cool vibe.
It's in this warehouse, they got a climbing wall, one of those gumball machines that dispenses cereal.
But, you know, all my friends are here.
I don't know anybody in Denver.
Oh, and having friends is super important.
You do not want to be friendless.
Ask Brick It's not fun, right, Brick? Hey, I have two friends.
Three if you count the bus driver who says, "Watch your step.
" Sue, you've been awfully quiet.
Do you have any thoughts about your favorite brother leaving forever? Well, I think in a perfect world, families stay together.
Exactly.
But in the real world, people leave and they break your heart.
I don't even know what's keeping me in Orson.
Okay, Sue, go to your couch.
Yeah.
[MOANS] [THUMP] Well, feels like we've beat that to death.
Let's talk about something else.
Or we could just eat in silence.
I vote for that.
Yeah, I think I just need some time to let it roll around.
I'm gonna go to my room and clear my head a little, maybe play some guitar.
[SIGHS] I thought I did a good job of hiding my agenda.
Then again, maybe you didn't.
So, I printed out all the sporting goods stores within a 40-mile radius, and you wouldn't believe it.
Turns out there's 3 that are looking for managers.
Mom, if I move to Denver, I wouldn't be working at a sporting goods store.
I'd be working for a huge company at a job where I'd actually get to use my business degree.
If I stay in Orson, I'd just keep the job I have.
Okay, well, I just wanted you to be informed.
But I like where your head is at about staying here - and keeping your job.
- Mm.
[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY] [SIGHS] Hey, buddy.
Do you have to sit right next to me? There's a whole theater here.
Listen, you share a room with Axl.
What are you hearing? Hearing? Yeah, what's the buzz on the street, the inside scoop? Which way do you think he's leaning, Denver-wise? Mom, the secrets that two brothers share are a sacred confidence, and I don't feel comfortable breaking that trust.
- You got nothing.
- Zippo.
I did buy him a book on Denver.
What? Why? When I was buying lawn chairs, the website said, "People who purchased outdoor furniture might also enjoy books about Denver.
" You know, lately when I buy stuff, I get a real buzz.
- [SIGHS] - There's just something about those words "Add to cart.
" It's like a rocket ship for your emotions.
We're trying to get Axl to stay in Orson.
In my defense, he's probably not gonna read the book.
Yeah, but he'll look at the pictures.
Mom, I understand that this is a very emotional time for you, Axl being your first son and all.
I felt the same way when the only chair I've ever loved started to slightly fray.
Brick, you cannot compare losing a chair to losing a son.
I love my chair, and I'm afraid that someday I will be without it.
You love your son, and you're afraid that someday you will be without him.
If you could buy backup Axls, wouldn't you? No, I just want the stupid one I have.
Now pick a favorite chair and take the rest over to Grandpa Big Mike's.
Oh, and bring him a sandwich.
I was supposed to check on him last week.
I was getting desperate.
I never felt so alone.
If only I had someone who cared about Axl leaving as much as I did.
Mrs.
Heck! [DOOR CLOSES] - Lexie! I'm just sick about this.
Me, too.
I haven't been able to sleep in days.
Stupid Denver.
It's the least favorite of my parents' houses.
Listen, Axl's out with Mike, so we don't have much time.
What can we do? I don't know, but I don't think him living at home is helping.
I really don't want him to go.
- Have you told him that? - No.
I felt as his girlfriend, I should be supportive.
[SIGHS] All right.
Well, don't beat yourself up about it.
The important thing is you're on the non-supportive side now.
Okay, here's the deal You're gonna make more progress with him, so don't be afraid to give him an ultimatum.
Really? I feel like ultimatums aren't healthy for a relationship.
Either you give him an ultimatum or we are through! See? They work.
[SIGHS] I'm sorry.
This whole thing has got me crazy.
I totally get it.
When Axl first told me, I almost dropped the phone.
He told you over the phone? So you two haven't seen each other yet? - This is amazing.
- What's amazing? You're our secret weapon.
Once he looks into those Disney princess eyes, of course he's gonna want to stay here.
You're gorgeous.
And not just for Indiana everywhere.
Okay.
I should just put on a little makeup before he gets home.
You're not wearing any makeup? We have got this thing in the bag.
[LAUGHS] I've always liked the hardware store.
Hardware stores are very underrated as places to clear your head.
People think churches and mountaintops are so great.
This works for me.
O-kay.
So, we're here to get another part for the toilet or? Ah, flapper valves.
So, you've had a couple days to think about it.
How ya feeling about Denver? [EXHALES SHARPLY] I don't know.
I wake up in the morning, and I think, "I'm doing it.
I'm taking the job.
" And then I go to bed and Mom sneaks in while she thinks I'm asleep and whispers mean things about Denver in my ear, and I start thinking I don't know.
Maybe she's got a point.
Maybe I should just stay.
In your mom's defense, there's a thin line between crazy and love.
Yeah.
You're, um, gonna want to get one of these, too.
Sometimes with the older toilets, the water level's low 'cause of a defective overflow tube.
Oh! You see? I know so much about plumbing now.
Do you realize I can name 38 different kinds of shower heads? I am a shower head savant.
I know nothing about camping equipment.
But on the other hand, I've always kind of wanted more than this, you know? I [GROANS] Just tell me what to do make the pain go away.
I can tell you the same thing my dad told me, the best advice I ever got.
Yeah.
Hit me.
Don't ask other people for advice.
You'll know when you know.
Okay, but on the outside chance I don't know, you got to be thinking something.
Well, if you go, I'm gonna miss the hell out of ya.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do what's right for you.
Here's a picture of a cobblestone street at the base of a mountain.
Lose it.
Remember, we're ripping out anything with nature scenes, mountain biking, or breweries.
We're leavinany pages with murder statistics.
- [DOOR CLOSES] - AXL: Lexie! What are you doing here? - I drove down from Carmel - Oh.
'cause I needed to see your face.
I think we should talk.
Yeah, no, we should talk, yeah.
I'm glad you're here.
This is a super hard decision.
Maybe this will help you decide.
So? So, we talked, and we kissed, - and we talked some more.
- And? He definitely has some reservations about going to Denver.
But ultimately, I love him, and it's his decision, and I told him that even if he decides to go, I'd support him.
Get out.
After Lexie's epic fail, nobody was more depressed than me unless you count Sue.
Let's go.
[SIGHS] Hardware stores are underrated as places to clear your head.
Everyone thinks churches or mountaintops are so great [GROANS] [SIGHS] All right, I'm gonna cut to the chase.
I want my couch back, and I want my remote back.
What's it gonna take? What do you mean? You just seem a little down lately.
You're always so excited about summer, and you'd normally have a glittery binder going by now.
I don't know.
I've just sort of been in a weird place.
[SIGHS] Is this about Sean? How do you know about that? Sue, your bedroom walls are made of poster board.
They're literally paper-thin.
[SCOFFS] Okay, here's the thing Sean and I kissed on Christmas, and it was perfect.
It wasn't like a rough kiss It was more like a gentle I'm gonna stop you there.
Don't need the details.
[SIGHS] I don't know.
It's just It's hitting me that nothing is the way I thought it was gonna be.
I thought I would tell Sean how I feel, and then he would tell me he felt the same way, and then we would have this magical summer together, but instead, he's going to Ghana.
[SIGHS] Is it wrong to pray for an Ebola scare? Not a big one just enough to shut down the airport.
Sue, how many teams have you tried out for in your life? So many.
- And how many did you make? - Very few.
And did anyone ever ask you to be in their club? Not that I recall.
Dad, is this supposed to be a pep talk? 'Cause I'm not feeling any better.
Here's my point.
If people told you you weren't good enough, you kept trying.
If they didn't want you in their club, you started your own damn club.
You have never let anything get you down.
You're the happiest person I've ever met.
So, really? You're gonna let a guy bring you to this? You're right.
You're right! What am I doing? I am Sue Heck.
I don't need a guy to make my summer great.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
I am strong on my own.
That's it.
The Summer of Sue 2018 starts right now.
And I am gonna spend it with the only guy that matters my dad.
Well, I don't want to hog up your whole summer.
You know, I-it stays lighter longer.
So, Sue was off the couch and ready to embrace her independence.
She knew if she was gonna truly move on, she had to let the Sean fantasy go.
But she wanted to give him one last, little something to take with him to remind him of home.
Oh, hey, Sue.
Hey, Mr.
Donahue.
Is Sean around? Ah, you just missed him.
He and Nancy are at the school putting together care packages for our troops.
Darn.
I thought he might be home packing.
Oh, are you kidding? He's so excited, he's already packed and ready to go.
[EXHALES] Oh, wow.
[LAUGHS] Great.
Well, he can't wait to leave.
- [CELLPHONE RINGS] - Oh.
Hello? Oh, hi.
Thanks for calling me back.
Just a minute.
Yeah, well So, what time is the, uh the meeting? [EXHALES SHARPLY] The only problem with going to Big Mike's to drop something off is you usually end up picking something up that's even bigger.
[SIGHS] I got to get more of these.
MIKE: Don't worry.
I'm taking it back to my dad's house tomorrow.
FRANKIE: Okay, but did you sit in it? It's pretty comfortable.
I'm starting to think we should just trust Brick when it comes to making chair decisions.
The kid does know how to sit.
[DOOR OPENS] AXL: Don't turn on the light.
I have something to tell you guys, and it's hard enough as it is I don't want to have to see your faces.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] I'm taking the job in Denver.
[DOOR CLOSES] Are you crying? [HIGH-PITCHED SOB]