The Neighborhood (2018) s04e04 Episode Script

Welcome to the Porch Pirate

1 I gotta say I'm pretty excited about Gemma and Dave having a baby.
Friends' babies are like rental cars.
You treat it like it's yours until the gas light come on, and then you take it back.
And since we're not grandparents, guess we have to lavish love on other people's babies.
Hey, Ma, can you, uh, hold the guilt and pass the creamer? Alexa, add Baby No Cry mobile to my shopping list, please.
I've added Baby No Cry mobile to your shopping list.
Well, Uncle Calvin is sending over the perfect baby present.
As you both know, I have a gift for givin' gifts.
Really? What about the hockey equipment you got me when I was 12? I was trying to make you the Tiger Woods of hockey.
But 14 little stitches and you quit.
And if you think that's bad, he tried to give me that hockey equipment for my birthday.
So I guess nobody in this house wants a gold medal.
Hello, family.
How y'all doing? Me, you ask? I am doing great.
I have a date tonight with a verified model from Instagram.
What are y'all staring at? No, I'm just trying to figure out who your friend is.
My what? That little dude that's on your face.
No, no, no, no, Dad, stay back.
I've seen this movie before.
That thing is gonna bust out of his face and take over the world.
Y'all are not funny, okay.
This is just a little pimple.
Look, don't hate because I have a date.
Well, I hope you got a table for three.
It is not that noticeable.
Is it? It look like you got another nose, man.
Stop exaggerating, Marty.
Damn, that thing is as big as one of these muffins.
How you feeling? Fine.
Are you just saying you're fine because you want me to be fine? Because it's-it's It's-it's totally okay if you're not fine.
Dave, I'm the same fine I was when you asked me at the doctor's office, and in the car, and on the porch.
I'm just I'm worried about you.
I don't know how we're gonna tell people that we lost the baby.
It was just supposed to be a ten-week routine checkup.
Everything was moving along nice and happy, and then all of a sudden, life gives you a swift kick in the puckus.
I think you meant "tuckus.
" But, you know, puckus works, too.
You know, my mom will say this was God's will.
Your mother was banned from church for skinny-dipping in the baptismal pool.
I was just so shocked when there wasn't a heartbeat.
Apparently this is really common.
I guess sometimes it's just not meant to be.
Yeah, and I know, but this is also one of the hardest things we'll ever have to deal with.
I know, but we'll get through it if we keep busy and we stay strong.
I know what we can do.
Let's repaint the living room.
We'll pick a color that's bright and cheerful.
Do you really think that that's the best way for us to approach this? Yes.
It'll help us set a positive example for Grover on how to handle grief.
All right, um Great.
Okay, I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonna go buy some paint.
What color should I get? Pick any color, as long as it comes with a bottle of wine.
- Hey, Devona.
- Hey.
I'm making an Alavay Makeup delivery.
Got some goodies your mother ordered.
- Oh, cool.
She's home.
- Stop! She can wait.
I see we have a breaking news story on your face.
I've got a product that will cover that right up.
Sorry, Devona, but I am not a makeup kind of dude, all right? Oh, no worries.
I've got a concealer so good no one will ever even know you're wearing it.
You're right, 'cause I'm not.
Okay, but it's only gonna get bigger.
Judging from the size and shadow, it's gonna blow in about two hours.
Call me.
Oh, whoa, 7-Up cake, peach cobbler, bread pudding.
What do you need me to fix? Oh, baby back ribs.
Fried snapper.
This can't be fixed.
What do you need me to buy? Well, the food is for Dave and Gemma, and, um, I've got some bad news.
They lost the baby.
What? Oh, no, Mama.
That's terrible.
It is.
You okay, hon? Yeah.
Just feeling bad for Gemma and Dave.
I know.
Whoa, whoa, Ma, don't you think you're going a little overboard? This is a lot of food.
I know, but food is my love language.
Oh, Mommy, you are the sweetest, kindest woman I know.
Yes, you can have a piece.
Okay, thanks, 'cause eating is my love language.
I'm sure this is stirring up some sad memories, and I know you don't like going there.
Yeah, I-I don't.
So can we not, babe? You know.
Besides, that was a long time ago.
- Oh, damn.
- What? I just remembered I sent Gemma and Dave that baby gift.
It's supposed to arrive tomorrow.
Oh, well, you were just trying to do something nice.
How could you have known? Well, I don't want to make them feel any worse.
I gotta grab that package before they see it.
You're a good friend.
You want to come with me to drop this stuff off? Uh, no.
You know, I'm still dirty from work, and they probably don't want to deal with a lot of people right now.
You know, just tell 'em I send my love, okay? - Will do.
- Okay.
- Devona? - Mm-hmm? This right here has got to stay just between the two of us.
Don't worry, I take artist-client confidentiality very serious.
All right, good, because none of the guys I know wear makeup.
You mean none that you know of.
Really? Who? Is it Trey? I knew it.
I knew he wore mascara.
That boy got eyelashes like a horse.
The men's makeup market is blowing up.
Even Alex Rodriguez uses it.
Wait, A-Rod wears makeup? Mm-hmm.
He's even got his own line.
There is nothing wrong with a man wanting to look his best.
Oh, damn.
You made it disappear.
Can you do that with my student loans? If I could, I'd start with mine.
Okay, so I'll drop your products off tomorrow.
Meantime, have fun on your date - with the Instagram model.
- Oh, I will.
I may not be A-Rod, but tonight, I see a home run in my future.
Oh, crap, that's Marty.
Uh, close this.
Hey, Devona.
What are you doing here? Oh, she was just, um Just showing Malcolm some products I think your mother would love for her birthday.
'Cause you know Mama.
Mama loves all that girly makeup stuff.
I'll split it with you.
- All right.
- Okay, perfect, then.
- Malcolm, I'll talk to you soon.
- All right.
Oh, hey, man, did you hear Gemma and Dave's bad news? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mom told me.
Maybe we should get them some flowers and-and a card.
I just wish there was something more we could do.
All we can do is just be there for 'em and keep them in prayer.
Yeah, speaking of prayer, how did you get rid of that zit so fast? I don't know.
I guess God just likes me being pretty.
- Oh, hey, Tina.
- Hey.
I brought you a little something to eat.
How you feeling? Okay.
Just keeping busy, you know.
Painting the walls, painting the door.
And evidently painting Grover.
Uh, yeah.
I guess I'm a little distracted.
Well, I just wanted to drop off a few meals, just in case you didn't feel like cooking.
Well, thanks, Tina.
This should, uh, carry us through winter.
Gemma, I know I made too much food, and I know there is nothing that I can say to ease your pain.
But I I lost a baby between Malcolm and Marty, and it is devastating.
- But you still have to - Move on.
I know.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Well, I was gonna say you still have to take the time to grieve.
I'm just trying to stay in a positive space.
Good, good, good.
How you doing, Grover? I'm sad about the baby.
I wanted to be a big brother.
Oh, honey, of course you did.
Grover, I know what'll cheer you up.
You and I are going to the arcade.
I'm in the mood for a Ms.
Pac-Man rematch.
Okay, I'll play some old people games.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Dave, I'm, uh, worried about Gemma.
She seems a little disconnected.
I've tried to talk to her, but she doesn't want to dwell on the loss.
Yeah, well, I'm sure she's coping the best way she can.
Losing a baby is heartbreaking.
Unfortunately, there's no amount of paint that's gonna cover up her pain.
Well, how about you? How you feeling? That was your baby, too.
I know it was, Tina.
Thank you for being here.
You're welcome.
Damn it, this ain't it.
"Brooks Brothers"? Yeah, this ain't for the real brothers.
- Oh, hey, Calvin.
- Oh, hey.
These, uh these are for you.
Ooh, my camo Crocs.
It confuses the insects.
So, uh, where's your usual too-short shorts? Oh, I don't know.
Too depressed to run sexy.
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Listen, did Tina tell you that I sent my love? Because I did.
Yeah, she did, and I really appreciate your support.
She also mentioned you guys had a miscarriage.
That was a long time ago.
You know what, I'm gonna let you get to your run.
'Cause you know, times like these, exercise is very important.
Matter of fact, I'm gonna jog home.
Okay? All right.
Bye, Dave.
Mama, your favorite son is here.
Hey, Malcolm.
Ooh, your pimple's not joining us for dinner? I set a place at the table for it and everything.
Well, that zit is gone, and thanks to these smooth cheeks, my date last night was amazing.
'Cause forget Instagram, she followed me straight back to my to my church meeting, Mama.
Yeah, don't bring God into your ratchetness.
What, Ma? I don't know, you're looking especially handsome today.
Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You do look good.
You losing some weight? Uh, yeah, you know, I'm just drinking water, eating clean, working out, doing me.
Oh, good, you intercepted the baby gift.
Oh, no, not yet.
I just saw Devona, your makeup lady, dropping your makeup at Malcolm and Marty's by mistake.
I didn't order any makeup.
You know what, Mom, let me go ahead and grab this.
God knows what else that lady is hiding on my porch.
Uh-uh, there might be some free samples in here or something.
Strong enough for a woman, but weak enough for a man.
" Hmm.
Not any men that I know, all right.
We don't need these kind of samples in this house.
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop.
It's for me.
All right, you know what I was dealing with.
I have a pimple the size of Kilimanjaro on my face.
I had to do something.
Oh, so that's why you been looking extra Denzel.
You ain't drinking no water.
Look, it's it's not a big deal, okay? It's just a little cover-up for men.
Oh, it's okay, honey, there's nothing wrong with a little glow-up to make you look and feel your best.
- Thank you, Ma.
- Hey, man, look, I'm with Mom, okay.
Do what makes you feel good.
Although, with this flawless skin, I don't ever need to wear makeup.
My dermatologist says I have the pores of a six-year-old.
What in the RuPaul is going on in here? All right, look, look, Pop, at first it did feel weird, right? But then I thought why shouldn't I do something if it makes me feel better? I'm still me, I'm just a little bit smoother.
Son, men aren't supposed to be smooth.
Supposed to be rough and bumpy.
That's what makes us men.
Pop, those are outdated gender roles, okay? Look, even A-Rod has a makeup line.
Well, if you hit that many home runs, sure, you could wear a little mascara.
I don't use mascara, Pop.
It's concealer.
Well, it's a slippery slope, son.
I mean, today it's concealer, tomorrow it's a Brazilian butt lift.
I'm telling you.
Hold on.
She's trying to say something.
Alexa, what are my notifications? Your package has been delivered.
Oh, damn, I gotta go.
Did she tell you the name of the shade of that concealer she used on you? Oh, come on, Ma.
What? I'm just mad that you look prettier than me.
Hey, Gemma, look, I'm sorry.
I, uh I sent that before I Oh, no, no, no.
It's-it's all good.
I'm-I'm I just need to get back to my painting.
I'm fine.
It's fine.
- Gemma.
- No, no, no.
I just The color's all wrong, and it's taking longer than I thought.
And I just I need to get it right.
I need to get it right.
Sorry, Calvin.
Don't be.
All right? What you're going through is awful.
I just don't want to feel this.
It makes it real.
My baby's gone.
I just want to be numb.
I-I know that you're afraid that if you if you let the hurt in, it'll just swallow you up.
I mean, that's how I felt when Tina and I lost our little girl.
But, uh, you know, the more I tried to avoid the pain, the more it lingered.
And I just don't want that for you.
It just feels like I'm never gonna be okay again.
Did it ever go away? I thought it did, I mean, but when this thing happened to you guys, it all came rushing back.
And I didn't want to talk about it either.
And now that I'm here, sharing this moment with you, I realize I needed to hear these words myself.
You're gonna get through this, Gemma.
Promise? I promise, sweetheart.
I got you.
So it's okay to talk about what happened now? Yeah, of course, sweetie.
I'm sorry I didn't let you talk about your feelings.
But that's why we're planting this tree, so that we can always remember the baby.
I'm still sad, though.
We all are, buddy, but you know, it's okay.
We're a family, and we'll always be there for each other.
Even in the toughest times.
The Butlers will always be there for you guys, too.
- Hey.
- Thanks for coming, guys.
- Hey, honey.
- Of course, Dave.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Hey, Tina, I hope I'm not putting you on the spot, but would you sing something? Oh.
Of course I will.
Um, what should I sing? You know what, Ma? How about "Gone Too Soon"? Oh, that's a beautiful idea, son.
Like a comet Blazing in the evening sky Gone too soon Like a rainbow Fading in the twinkling of an eye Gone too soon Shiny and sparkly And splendidly bright Here one day Gone one night Like a sunset Fading with the rising Of the moon Gone too soon Gone too soon.
- Like a comet - Okay - No.
- No, David! Baby! Babe did you move my skin toner? Oh, it's in the upper right cabinet.
You know, you've got some nerve teasing Malcolm when you use cosmetics, too.
Oh, well, hold on now.
Foundation and mascara, that's makeup.
My stuff is toiletries.
Hardcore, manly toiletries.
Looking for your beard dye, Idris? Mind your business, Tina.

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