The Owl House (2020) s01e14 Episode Script

Really Small Problems

So they said I couldn't remove my thumb but look at that.
You sliced it off! You sliced off your own thumb! [chuckles.]
You make doing homework actually fun.
And they say humans can't do magic.
Luz [grunts.]
you've been talking to them all morning.
Don't forget about the Luz and King comedy hour.
Please, no.
Not the comedy hour.
This week I've been working with props.
Oh, dear.
I've gotten a tube stuck on my nose.
Will I ever eat again? Looks like I'm toast.
[both laugh.]
It just goes on like this for an hour.
Hey you, dough boy.
Quit loafing around.
Why don't you bake me? [both laugh.]
[rhythmic beeping.]
School time.
See you guys in class.
- Bye.
- But what about the thumb? - [sighs.]
- Hey, don't worry.
We'll finish our comedy hour when I get home.
- [kisses.]
- [chuckles.]
Oh, you.
Try not to miss me while I'm gone.
[grunts, pants.]
You You really think she's coming back this time? Yes, she'll be back.
She always comes back.
It's cute you miss her though.
The King of Demons [grunts.]
The King of Demons misses nobody.
I wouldn't care if she came through this door right now.
- Hey, you're - You're back! [pants.]
I didn't miss you at all.
Apparently there's an infestation of pixies at Hexside, so school's been canceled.
That sounds like a crumby situation.
[both laugh.]
Hey, guess what's been in my mouth that I'm about to throw up? [retching.]
The mail! Junk, junk.
Oh! A carnival's in town today.
A carnival? You know, I've been so busy with school lately what do you say we take this comedy hour on tour? It'll be a Luz and King day.
That's my kind of day.
Let's all three of us go.
An adventure with friends.
I'll go pack my stuff.
Carnival's bring crowds and crowds bring suckers.
This could be the perfect chance to try out my new get-witch quick scheme.
I'm in.
To the carnival! [both.]
To the carnival.
Good news.
I'm bringing my knapsack full of games.
Hello? - [buzzing.]
- Oh, a fly! Talk to me! Talk to me! [theme music playing.]
Well, here we are, kids.
Look at all that fresh meat.
- [buzzing.]
- [munches.]
And smell all the fresh meat.
[sniffs, coughs.]
No games for you, Owlbert.
We've got scams to run.
Friends, welcome! [all yelp.]
I see you got my postcard.
Tibbles, you sent this? Mm-hmm.
Aren't you mad at us for destroying your stand? Ooh! And destroying his life.
That was the best part.
No, no, no.
I should thank you.
After my stand was destroyed, I re-evaluated my life and found my true calling.
I'm now ringmaster of [snaps.]
Tibbles Tent of Tiny Terrors.
It's like a regular circus but adorably small.
You're my friends now.
I don't buy it.
What kind of con are you running? No cons here, Owl Lady.
Only pros.
In fact, why don't we toast our newfound friendship with this totally innocent bottle of water? Oh, yeah, sure.
Why don't I just [grunts.]
I'm okay.
I know poison when I see it.
You can't scam a scammer.
Now speaking of scams Beat it, loser! [yelps.]
Step right up to Eda's Human Horror House.
Humans shed their skin and I've got proof.
You should really put a lock on your closet.
You know what, Eda can pick through my socks all she wants.
Because today is all about having a great time with my partner in crime.
That's me.
I love crime.
Have a good time, friends While it lasts.
Dunk the skeleton.
Win a prize.
I'm covered in pores.
Now this is my kinda weird.
So, what do you wanna do first? We could brave the molar coaster or eat a mysterious blob Ooh! What's that? [panting.]
Ah! Some kind of deadly string weapon.
No, silly.
That's a friendship bracelet.
Is that a type of deadly weapon? A weapon of love.
It's basically a declaration to the whole world that you're the best of friends.
Oh! That's way safer than becoming blood brothers.
Luz, we must have those bracelets! And yoink.
Sorry, ma'am.
If your bone son wants these bracelets you have to play the games and win the tickets.
You know, carnival rules.
Beat up the man and steal his things for me.
Or let's just play the games.
Oh, okay.
[both laugh.]
Games! Games! Games! Games! - [gasps.]
Friends! - Hey, Luz.
Oh, my gosh.
I didn't think I'd see carniv-y'all here.
- Boo.
- I got an invitation from Tibbles.
We figured it's a trap since we squashed his stand with a walking house.
But who cares? This place has a Scarris wheel.
It's like a human Ferris wheel but it gives you long-lasting nightmares.
Yes! This mama is ready for trauma.
- Ahem! - Oh, yeah.
We're on a very important quest to win a special prize for King.
Oh! We could help with that.
Does the little guy wanna win a prize? Uh, does he? Uh, does he? - [cooing.]
- [grunts.]
What do you think, King? The more the merrier, huh? Um, sure.
Whatever you want, Luz.
All right.
Approval! [all cheering.]
[cheerful music playing.]
So the pixie infestation was actually caused - when Boscha's pet pixie escaped it's cage - Mm-hmm.
[King grunting.]
[screams, grunts.]
Curse these stubby legs.
[all laughing.]
Oh, my, my, my.
You seem troubled.
Huh? Who said that? It is I.
Obvioso, the all-seeing psychic.
Haven't I seen you somewhere? It's almost so Obvious? That's what I was gonna say.
Wow! You really are psychic.
You're right.
And Obvioso can see that something is bothering you, little friend.
You got my number, Obvioso.
Today was supposed to be about me and Luz, see? But now she's distracted by her cool new school friends.
What if I were to tell you that there was a way to make all those problems disappear? I'd say that sounds illegal.
I would also say go on.
Holy bones! You poofed it.
Call the cops! This guy's crazy! [chuckles.]
The spray is only temporary.
I just give my cheeks a tap and then it returns safe and sound.
- [squawks.]
- [chirps.]
Take this.
Enjoy the carnival without the problems.
Luz, Willow and Gus will be none the wiser.
Whoa! You even know their names.
Guess there's no use arguing with a fortune-teller.
Thanks, Obvioso.
Hey, sidenote, in the future do I ever find love? Uh yes.
Hmm, maybe I should think about this first.
King! Sorry we lost you back there, little dude.
Hey, it's okay.
Let's go back to the games and win those bracelets.
But we haven't gone on any rides and there's no line for the bumper carcasses.
- Games! - Carcasses! - Games! - Carcasses! [stomach growling.]
Food! I'm gonna grab some rotten candy while you guys figure this out.
Bye! When Luz comes back let's go on the three-man cauldron spinner.
Or the triple swing.
Oh, and that's close to those photo booths that can fit exactly three people.
But today was me and Luz's day.
- Aw.
Does the little baby boo miss his buddy Luz? - [chuckles.]
Uh, does he? Uh, does he? - [grunts.]
The King of Demons misses nobody.
- [laughs.]
I demand you put me down! [both.]
What? Oh, no! What have I done? Wow.
I guess they really wanted to ride those bumper carcasses.
Actually, Luz.
There's something I gotta tell you.
There's something I gotta tell you, King.
I said I'd help you win those friendship bracelets.
So win them we shall, okay? Uh Willow and Gus will be okay for a little while, right? - What was that? - Nothing.
Now let's go.
Ready or not, here we crumb.
Yes! Ha ha! First, I'm growing out of my clothes.
Now I'm shrinking? Then puberty? You're the craziest coaster of 'em all.
[Gus screams.]
What happened to us? Did I black out on the molar coaster again? Sketchy carnival rides are not to blame this time.
King had something in his pouch that made us small.
And I just got tall enough for the rides! [sobs.]
Gus - [growls.]
- [both yelp.]
I think we're safe now.
[both scream.]
Ew! Enough of this.
Quick! We have to find Luz and get her attention before any more carnival animals hunt us down.
Eat up, my steed.
Lead us to safety.
It's so hairy.
Why is it so hairy? Because up close, everything is hairy.
Round as the moon, her ears are, with mood swings as terrifying as night itself.
Now, who wants to touch an outdated human reference? - I do.
- Me.
- [demon.]
Okay, show's over.
- [gasps.]
This witch doesn't have a license.
- [yelps.]
I can't do time again! - Run! Ah, what are you? The fun police? [demon.]
Yes! [squeaks.]
And you're coming with me.
Uh, excuse me, sir.
I'd like to have a word with your staff.
Owlbert! Owlbert! Where are you? [hoots.]
Owlbert, you're lucky I can't be mad at your adorable antics.
Hey, I caught her.
I hate carnivals.
[adventurous music playing.]
We can't keep doing this.
We won't have to for much longer.
Just when I thought I couldn't respect the law any less [squeaks.]
it surprises me.
So I hear you're running scams at my carnival? That's my job.
And I take my job very seriously.
Spare me the yuks.
What do you want? Since I'm a forgiving demon, I'll give you two options.
I can pass you along to the Emperor's Coven or throw you in the Conformatorium or you can scam for me.
1,230 1,231 [squeals.]
Now, King, before you spend your tickets are you sure you want those friendship bracelets and not this bad boy? [roars.]
I am the King of Night.
And every breath you take brings you closer to darkness.
This guy's a riot.
Yes, Luz.
I want the bracelets.
It's kind of important to me, okay? I can be important to you.
I, who have seen the birth and death of countless nations - Hey, stop it.
- [whinnies.]
- No, no.
Stop it.
- [whinnies.]
Yes, where was I, uh Well, lost count.
Okay, one, two, - [buzzing.]
- three, four, five, six Ugh, gross.
I'm gonna need a mirror.
I'll be right back, King.
12, 13, 14 Count faster.
There we go.
You made it.
What a supportive sign.
Wait a sec.
Supportive signs! Huh? Oh, my gosh.
One million.
Yep, I just counted to one million.
The bracelets are yours.
Yes! Now Luz and I will share a bond as mighty as these trinkets.
Heya, Luz.
Good news.
I got the bracelets.
King Huh? [yelps.]
You splashed us with something to make us small.
And now I can't go on the big boy rides! You monster.
You weren't supposed to shrink.
You, you were supposed to disappear.
- Ooh, no.
- What? No, no, no.
Luz, I can explain.
I wanted to win the bracelets and there was this psychic, see.
That must've been what did it.
Give me the spray bottle, King.
No, wait.
I-I-I gotta explain.
There's nothing to explain.
I was just trying to Shrink my friends? I was trying to solve my problems.
Wait, I can fix it.
Obvioso showed me how.
Why isn't this working? I'd say it's working quite well.
Um, Luz, I think King is broken.
Tapping my cheeks is supposed to turn us normal.
The psychic told me.
Oh, did he? But what if he lied to you from the start? Hold on.
Lied to you from the start? It's different.
You fiend.
When Obvioso finds out you stole his mustache Oh The potion was designed by me.
Guess whose cheeks control it? Why are you doing this? When you destroyed my stand, you destroyed generations of Grimm Hammer history.
Now it's time to pay.
- [all screams.]
- Oof! Welcome to the greatest show on the Boiling Isles.
[all cheering.]
[all gasp.]
Will these witches and demons survive feeding time? Let's find out.
At least he's still my friend.
That's how friends react.
[all growling.]
You ruined my livelihood.
So now you'll feed my livelihood.
Place your bets and enjoy the show.
Well, if I have to go, at least I'm with my best friends.
And King.
Caramel Crab Apples.
Get 'em hot and pinchy.
Hey, over here! Yeah, yeah.
- [Luz yelping.]
- Hold your spider-horses.
[all shrieking.]
We've gotta find a way out of here.
Ah, King, you idiot.
This is all your fault.
But I think I know how to fix it.
[blusters, nickers.]
King? Willow, Gus, I'm sorry for poofing you.
And Luz, I'm sorry for taking you away from your friends.
I know you'll eventually go home and now you're spending more time at school.
I just wanna be around you! - [grunting.]
- [growling.]
- No! - Boo! Boo! - [crowd booing.]
- No refunds.
All right.
I only have one shot.
Darn flies.
- [clinks.]
- Oh, no.
Hey, hey.
No discounts, buddy.
- You guys owe me.
- [crowd booing.]
There's nothing happening in this show.
Not a single one of those dumb kids have gotten hurt yet.
Dumb kids? Wait.
Those are my dumb kids.
[all sigh.]
You shrunk the animals too? It's the Tent of Tiny Terrors.
- Something needed to be tiny.
- [crowd booing.]
Finish the job! Get them kids.
Feast! [munches, nickers.]
[all screaming.]
They foiled my plans.
You will pay for this! This time I'm gonna personally squash you.
Oh, no, Tibbles.
That's not how entertainment works.
The bad guy always gets his just desserts.
Oh, no! Not desserts! Hey, girls.
This one's on the house.
- [screaming.]
- [blusters.]
Looks like we ruined his life for a second time.
We're on a roll.
Gus, Willow, you're okay! [Luz.]
All thanks to you, King.
It was all that was left.
It's it's okay.
Because now there's a piece for everybody.
If you'll accept it, that is? Thank you, King.
I've always wanted to own a jagged piece of cheap metal.
That's very sweet.
I'm sorry, Luz.
Demons do crazy things when they've been missing somebody.
And can I tell you a secret? I've been missing you too.
- [kisses.]
- [giggles.]
Hey, we still have a few hours of carnival left.
Wanna hit those bumper carcasses? You bread my mind.
Yes! Bread puns.
Bread puns forever.
You coming, Eda? Nah.
I think I got everything I wanted.
Another great year at the carnival.
Boy, fly, we sure get into some wacky hijinks, don't we? Sure feel sorry for anyone that missed seeing us two rabble-rousers getting into scrapes.
Good thing I brought a camera.
Hooty and fly.
Together forever.
You and me.
Every single day [coughs.]
Now I know what friendship taste like.
Taste like a bug.

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