The Penguins of Madagascar (2008) s01e24 Episode Script

Cradle and All

Oooh! Maurice! Mort! Something wrong, your Majesty? Yes! You did not tell me it was my birthday.
It's not your birthday.
Of course it is! Otherwise why would you have given me this ginormous present! Yeah, we didn't get you a present.
I did! No you didn't! No, I did! I didn't.
Oh, I see.
So you forgot my birthday.
No, it's not your birthday.
And this isn't a birthday present.
Protect me! Ugh! Ow! Oh, hello.
(Beeping sounds) What-- no-- stop right there! Come no closer.
Ow! Maurice, it is doing everything I am doing.
I do not like it, Maurice.
Look how it mocks me in silence! It's like a mini-mime! Stop it, stop it, stop it! This is the worst birthday ever.
(Sighing) A hot cup of Joe on a quiet morning.
I beg you, stop! I beg you, please! Back up.
What? That thing! It is a mocking machine! See that? It just wants to hurt me.
Ha! Where did you get a robot? Oh, please, do not be pretending because I know it was you who made this robot thing to mock me! Quit it! Well, ring tail, we are indeed working on a mocking you scenario.
Operation Mock Julian.
But it's still in the lab.
It's only at mock 2.
I'd like to get to mock 8 before implementation.
So if you did not make this copying cat, who did? ROBOT: Who indeed? No, who in did? According to my research, this robot was designed to learn how to be a lemur before being sent on an outer space mission.
Once the robot has mastered lemur behaviour it will be sent to explore Mars.
Isn't space exploring more of a chimp thing? It's a life-emulating robot.
AKA: the L.
M-R The humans believe that lemur locomotion is ideal for traversing the hummocky Martian landscape.
Hmm, hummocky.
Fascinating! Okay, what? Saying that the robot is here to learn from you.
Learn? From me? Yes, he's going to copy your every move and then take that knowledge into space! Into space.
Ahh-- ow! I am a rolling model! I can teach you everything about being a lemur king.
The bossings, the boastings.
But mostly of all, the boogeying! This can't be right! I shall call you Lemmy.
Now you are royalty just like me.
But still you have many things-- as I was saying-- you have many things to be learning.
Things like the mambo! The moonwalk! The Egyptian! The electric noodle! The robot! No, no, jerkier.
You know, like a robot.
I would think that one would be easier for you.
I don't like robot.
Listen, since that robot showed up, my life has been easy! Really easy! So don't ruin this, Mort! Don-- don-- don't I still don't like robot.
Yes, Lemmy! You are bringing it to the straight and keeping it realistic! It's madness, utter madness! That robot will need to be decisive, focused, practical, and able to disarm a tentacled space squid from 50 yards! Right! You can't boogie your way out of a Martian invasion.
Those space squids play for keeps.
But what can we do about it? Extract the robot from Julien's sick schooling and teach it the penguin way.
Yes, yes! We are getting a robot! Affirmative.
But how are we going to get the robot away from Julien? Leave that to me.
Uh okay.
Really? You want us to play hide and seek? Yes, it is good idea.
You like? I do Mort, I do! Lemmy can learn my seeking technique.
Oh, also my counting technique.
I have added a few numbers of my own that you will be loving.
First off, I'd like to welcome our robotic ambassador to Mars.
We're going to teach you some patented penguin moves that I think you'll find very useful.
Especially when you come face to snout with the vicious space squid.
Now watch Motor strike.
Roundhouse square.
Humble punch.
You getting all this, friend? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going? Dancing? No, no, no! We're teaching you techniques you can use here.
Don't you understand? We know what's best for you.
Robot, I refuse to let you leave this compound.
(Alarm sounding) Ooh! Beautiful roundhouse! Oh, Lemmy? Ha-- hmm.
Where is my little robot rascal? Oh, Lemmy! I have lost all sensation in my feet! I think I have internal bleeding! Ah-ah-ah! You are thinking you can hide from me, but you can't.
You found me! Yay! Look, of all the disappointments, this is the disappointiest! Where is my bionicle buddy? Who knew he was so good at the hiding? Maybe he's so good you'll never ever see him again.
Especially with the penguins.
No, Mort! I will never stop seeking my Lemmy! I will seek, and seek and seek! Oh, okay, um, but the penguins don't have him, all right? Okay, that almost sounded suspicious to me.
Do you know some things about where my robot is, Mort? Oh, no, I know no things.
Oh, okay.
Then you won't mind if I tickle you? Fire on, men! (Laughing) Feel your back, Mort! Feel your tiny, tiny gut! Where is my Lemmy? (Shouting and hollering) Huh? Uh-oh.
I-- I-- ha, ha! Or the back of your knee! The back of your knee! Mort, are you ready to tell me? No, more tickling! I will spill my guts now.
Kowalski, report.
Um, the robot-- Boom.
Ahhh! What-- what has been done by you to my poor Lemmy? Uh, it-- it was an accident.
We didn't mean to blow him up.
Kablammo! He was the only robot I ever was loving.
We're sorry ring tail.
It's just we knew it was best for the robot.
Kablammo! Kablowing him up was the best? Kablammo! Okay, I said we knew what was best, we just didn't do what was best.
Your Highness, this just isn't healthy.
You got to shake this off! No Maurice, I will not shake this, or even my booty, ever again.
Foot hugging time, yay! Look at Mort hugging your feet.
Doesn't that make you crazy? Don't you want to do something? Anything? What is the point without my Lemmy? Skipper, something's not right.
I feel terrible! Same here, young Private.
It's as if there's a dark abyss at the centre of your soul and all that is light and good in the world is slipping into it.
This is what it feels like when you've done the wrong thing.
We've never done the wrong thing before.
I don't like it! Me neither.
Men, we've got to fix this.
(Hammering and sawing sounds) Well, now that the coffee maker is working, let's get started on that robot.
Oh, Lemmy, of all the good times we had, the ones we didn't have were the best.
Ring tail, you can turn that frown upside down.
Your robo buddy is back! Lemmy? Is it really you and not some crazy dream that my head is making? It is you! Mort, off the royal feet.
Ha, ha, ha! That is my Lemmy! Men, we just made a very spoiled, very obnoxious lemur very happy.
And that's a good thing! Isn't it? TV: And touchdown in 5, 4-- It's Lemmy's big moment! TV: 3, 2, 1.
The robot has set down on a surface on Mars and we'll soon know if that billion dollar experiment is on.
It's taking its first steps.
What is he doing, Bob? He's dancing? BOB: I believe that's the electric noodle.
Look at him go! He is boogierific! And that is why you never send a lemur to do a penguin's job.