The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s01e09 Episode Script

Look Homeward, Ray

Ghostbusters ♪
If there's something strange ♪
In your neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
If there's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
We've gotta hurry.
We've only got minutes left.
Stay. This is people stuff.
It's pulling away.
We're too late.
Not yet.
Hold the train.
There's a lobster on the tracks.
Works every time.
- Hey, Ray.
- Yeah?
Not so fast.
We forgot a few things, buddy.
Small sample of articles.
A few scrapbooks.
And film of Super Stantz in action.
Now you'll really impress
the folks back home.
it's nothing, really.
Just a little celebration.
Mr. Modest, it isn't every yahoo
who gets to be Grand Marshal
in the Winged Puma Parade.
Held once every 10 years
to celebrate the fact
that nobody's seen
the monster for hundreds of years.
Is that a crazy local legend or what?
Yeah, I gotta admit,
the invite's a real surprise.
When I left Morrisville,
nobody thought I'd amount to anything.
Yeah, and now look at you.
Slimer never learns.
Thanks, Slimer.
That's just what I needed.
More public humiliation.
All aboard.
Well, uh, bye, guys.
Ah, gee, Slimer.
Morrisville's only 30 miles from here.
And I'll be back in a couple of days.
Bye-bye, Ray.
Bye, all! See you!
Ray. Hey, bye, Ray.
Slimer, good-bye already.
Bye, Ray.
Fellow citizens, today's party
I say, today's party
Today's party and tomorrow's parade
is Morrisville's way of saying
we will never forget the name Roy Stantz.
-Uh, that's Ray. Ray.
-How's that?
- Ray, Ray, over here.
- Hey.
This is so exciting, Ray.
I followed all your adventures
on the news.
Elaine. Elaine Furman.
You used to have a crush on her,
didn't you, boy?
Hey, Ray, old buddy.
Remember me, Alan Favish?
Everyone always said you'd turn out
a bum and I'd make it big.
Now I own a two-bit shoe store
while you're a hero.
Shoes have their place too, Al.
Yeah, on the feet.
Hey, remember the old Powell Mansion
that scared the pants off us as kids?
Yeah, well, Elaine's inherited it.
I can't sell it or rent it.
Folks say it's haunted.
You just said the magic word.
Time I gave you folks
a little demonstration,
- on the house.
- Ooh.
Hometown hero ♪
Everybody wants to be with my hero ♪
Hometown hero ♪
I knew that you'd come home to me ♪
Are you sure this is safe?
Class two mini rates,
regular scaredy-spooks.
Crowd right in. Nothing to be afraid of.
I'm giving you till the count of three
to come out.
-Stand back, Elaine.
Hold it. Think you're on a roll, huh?
Well, your luck's just run out.
Maybe not.
Tell me, is this the usual procedure?
Some hero.
What a mess.
I suspect a failure
of the Proton Pack's energy matrix.
I'll have it up and working
within an hour.
And what about my town?
Those ghosts always stayed in that house
till you got them mad.
We've spent every dime in the treasury
preparing for the parade.
We don't have the money to repair things.
Excuse me, Mayor. Well, uh
I'd be happy to pay for the repairs
in the interest of good citizenship.
You're the real hero, Al.
The parade's just got itself
a new Grand Marshal.
Guess this one doesn't
go in the scrapbook.
Hmm. Some hero.
Hey, hometown hero, back so soon?
Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.
Ray's got problems.
Well, we knew that back in college.
Yeah! That's one cardboard
cutout who won't sass us.
There's nothing odd
in these readings, Ray.
The equipment works perfectly.
I don't get it.
Oh, don't let it frazzle you, Ray.
Everyone has a bad day every now and then.
Sure, so you made a chump of yourself
in front of the entire town. No sweat.
Thanks, Peter,
that makes him feel a lot better.
No, Peter's right.
Maybe I should just forget it.
I mean, it'd be pure stupidity to go back
and try to prove something.
-Five bucks says he goes back.
-You're on.
This is pure stupidity.
Gotta be calm, gotta be calm.
There's nothing to be scared of.
Who's there?
Mr. Stantz, I presume.
Anything I can do for you?
Uh, yeah, uhFind a ladder.
Get up. I think we've got a problem.
Well, wake me when you're sure.
Ray left a note.
He's going back for a showdown.
Winston, you owe me five bucks.
You drive, Winston,
while I reserve my strength.
I'm sure things
will work out this time, Ray.
- Anybody home?
- No.
Well, so much for that.
I guess we can go home now.
Just kidding.
Game's over, boys.
We Ghostbusters never lose.
But I might consider a draw.
OK, Ray, think fast.
Why doesn't the darn thing work?
Ah, beats me. How should I know?
Is someone there?
He's inside. Hurry!
-No, wait.
-Go out for a long one.
It's not a pretty picture.
Hang on, Ray. Here comes the cavalry.
Ray, are you all right?
Don't I look all right?
Careful, guys. They're huge.
A couple of sheets ready for the wash.
But they're tiny. I don't get it.
It's no use. The Beam Throwers won't work.
We'll see about that.
Can't you take a joke?
Yeah. One house ready for new occupants.
Once I clean it up.
Well, Egon, there's two
we'll never see again.
- Uh, make it three.
- What are you talking about, buddy?
The equipment's not defective. I am.
Can this guy admit his faults?
I ask you.
I--I can't endanger you anymore.
That's whyThat's whyI quit.
Ray, say it isn't so.
Ray, you can't quit.
You'll lose your pension benefits.
And we won't be able to sing
barbershop quartet anymore.
-We never did.
-True, but we could have.
I couldn't help overhearing, Ray.
Look, if you're serious,
I got a job for you.
Ugh. You can't work for a guy
who dresses like that.
Forget who you were when
you walked through that door.
From this moment on,
you're Hoppy the Boot Bunny.
Uh, well, can't I
Can't I just wear the ears?
That look doesn't do
a thing for you, Ray.
Lock up later, Stantz.
I'm going to the parade.
That guy gives shoes a bad name.
Is there anything we can do for you, Ray?
Like bring lettuce?
Here, take this.
Maybe you can use it for parts.
No way. It stays here.
Under those big ears and that fluffy tail,
you're still a Ghostbuster.
We're wasting our time. Come on.
Bye, guys.
Well, don't let your emotions
overwhelm you, Egon.
You didn't even try to talk Ray out of it.
Talk is useless, the way Ray feels.
I've got a plan.
-No electric shock, Egon.
-I've got another plan.
Hoppy says, "Protect your arches."
You look ridiculous in that outfit.
Hey, cottontail,
how about a little service?
Yeah, hold that thought.
-What now?
-I'm open to suggestions.
Heads up, guys.
Yo, ghost bunny to the rescue.
It's just you and me, Dutch elm blight.
What? Oh!
Nice move, spook breath.
That's your allowance for a month, Slimer.
Better head home.
Can't act, but a real softy.
Hey, I appreciate the effort,
guys, but it's no use.
Shoes are my life.
It might have worked
if we'd had something
like that Winged Puma.
The man knows his mind,
but we stay till we change it.
These are too high.
How about flats?
Howdy, Boot Bunny.
What are you doing here?
You're gonna miss the parade.
The main attraction's right here.
Whatever's happened, Ray,
I know it's not your fault.
You tried and that's
what makes a real hero.
If it's the same
to Miss Buttinski,
I wanna see more shoes.
Yeah, yeah, coming right up.
This better be the one or it's no sale.
What the
-Look, a book of spells.
-To make shoes?
No, to surround ghosts
with negative energy.
No wonder my equipment messed up.
It works on positive energy.
Favish. That rusty shoehorn.
He doesn't know what he's doing.
Something terrible could happen.
-Worse than the bunny suit?
-You don't wanna know.
Come on!
At least they kept Ray's balloon.
Even if it is
at the back of the parade.
Yeah, here's their new hero.
The king of heels.
This looks very bad.
Give him a break.
He can't help how he looks.
No joke, Venkman.
There's a massive buildup
of negative energy,
and it's stirring
something up underground.
-You sure of that, Egon?
What's going on?
What's going on?
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I'm sure
That that's the Winged Puma.
Unless that's Slimer,
we're in big trouble.
Give me that.
Now I'll show them
some real ghostbusting.
Definitely not Slimer.
No, no, no!
How cute. It followed him home.
Here, kitty, kitty.
Hey. Elaine, stay here.
It's no good.
He's surrounded by negative energy.
Now you tell us.
Oops. Dead end.
In about 10 seconds from now,
it won't be the only thing dead.
Hey, furball.
Here's a present for you.
It takes more than a little
hot air to stop a Ghostbuster.
Hometown hero ♪
Everybody wants to be with my hero ♪
Hometown hero ♪
Pay you for this later, Mr. Johnson.
Sure thing, Ray.
Hometown hero ♪
The boy always did
have the oddest pets.
Now if I can just reverse the polarity.
Got it.
I hope.
Hometown hero ♪
Every girl's fantasy ♪
-My hero ♪
-Uh-huh! ♪
Hometown hero ♪
Score one for Stantz.
You're worth your weight
in pizza, homeboy.
Remember, it's never over
till it's over.
Now we've gotta go after it.
-I didn't hear that.
-Ray's right.
That puma will destroy
whatever it comes across.
Yeah, including us.
That boot bunny job
doesn't look half bad about right now.
I never knew you had a birthmark
under your chin, Ray.
Polarity reversed
on those Beam Throwers, Ray?
And none too soon.
Tabby at 2 o'clock.
Get it right the first time, guys.
Or we're an instant pinata.
I never thought
it would end like this,
fighting a flying cat from inside a shoe.
He's coming around again.
Right according to my plan.
You planned this?
Cat box, away.
Good plan, Ray.
You keep the puma, Ray.
And if you ever think of quitting again,
we'll feed you to him.
The insurance company
will never believe this.
Favish was so jealous of you
that he used magic
to make you look bad, Ray.
But you were just too quick on the draw.
Ray, Ray, Ray, my boy.
We figure we owe you an apology.
The parade's ready to start again
with the right Grand Marshal.
It's you, Ray.
Apology accepted.
Just tell me where to stand.
Why, the float's right behind you.
Stand back. I've got it.
Oh, no.
Quick on the draw, Ray.
From now on,
I'll call you "Floatbuster."
Just call.
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