The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s01e10 Episode Script

Take Two

Ghostbusters ♪
If there's something strange ♪
In your neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
If there's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you gonna call ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I'm telling you, Sam,
the excitement is so thick here,
you could cut it with a knife.
The plane,
with its very special passengers,
was supposed to leave half an hour ago.
Everyone's wondering the same thing.
Where are the Ghostbusters?
Ray, the airport is the other direction.
-Just one more.
- We almost got him.
- It's like talking to a fish.
It's a chartered jet, Peter.
It's physically impossible to be late
for a plane that won't leave without you.
Right. Besides we'll have this guy
wrapped up in five seconds.
Three, two, one. Now.
We're, uh,
running out of time, but the Ghostbusters
should be here any time.
Meanwhile, let's take another look
at this brief history of the Ghostbusters.
Oh, again?
I hope they can make it.
Yeah, hope they make it.
Now, the boys said they'd
stop by and say goodbye
before they left for California.
Wait, fellas!
You got astowaway.
On second thought, serves them right.
Ghostbusters ♪
No, they're not here. That's right.
They went to California to make a movie,
and they didn't take me with them,
so I could answer your crummy call.
OK, start the celebrations.
The Ghostbusters are here
Hey, where is everybody?
I'll tell you where they are.
They went home.
Everybody's gone.
They even cut off my live feed.
Do you have any idea what I looked like?
Only a fool would stick around for this.
You know, I'll just bet
you have a high-sugar diet.
I hate this business.
Huh? What? We're on? Live? Network?
Wait, wait, come back.
Uh, this is the, I mean,
that is, I mean, there was,
uh, the Ghostbusters were just, um,
a second ago.
The crowds were absolutely
Oh, my career is over.
She's crazy about me, I can tell.
Hmm. Is that why she threw
your luggage off the plane over Cleveland?
It's nothing I can't replace.
Hey, wait a minute.
These are all empty.
Looks like somebody ate them.
Wait a minute.
Who could eat a bunch of honey peanuts
without opening the packets?
Surf's up.
All right.
This is your captain.
We'll arrive in Burbank in a few minutes.
Please fasten your seat belts.
I wonder what that booming noise was.
I've been flying for 15 years.
How long have you been flying?
Well, I've been flying for three.
Then I have seniority.
Now get back in the cabin
and fasten your seat belt!
Well, that's very good.
I don't suppose you'd like
to take care of him while we
No, I didn't think so.
Hollywood, here we come.
If you have the heart to play the part ♪
Gimme action baby ♪
Now, I'd like to welcome you
to the studio.
Wow. This is really fantastic.
It looks just like the real thing.
That's why we wanted you here
to advise us.
Make sure we're doing it right.
After all, this is your life story.
No problem. As long as you got
the right people to play us.
Admit it, Redford was dying
to play me, right?
Not exactly. Here's the cast list.
Murray, Aykroyd, and Ramis?
What's that, a law firm?
And that's the script.
We'd love your advice, as long as
we don't have to change anything.
Now, if you'll follow Bob,
he'll show you the rest of the studio.
How's it look?
-Well, it's in English.
-Is that good or bad?
OK, we've got human stuff to do.
So you wait here
and stay out of trouble, OK?
Yeah, out of trouble. Aye, aye. OK, OK.
You're sure
the trapdoor was supposed to be here?
Yeah, but it hasn't
been opened in 20 years,
since that big accident back in
That's got it.
Come on, let's get the equipment.
And this, of course, you'll
recognize as the garage, the office.
Let's see, was itOh, yeah, this way.
And this is, uh, the Containment Unit?
No, wait. It must be this way.
I'm so sorry, but that's the wrong answer.
You don't win the washer-dryer,
but you do get a wonderful
consolation prize.
Uh, Peter, there's something here.
Yes, that's right. Here it is.
Your own genuine authentic
So that's what's behind door number three.
Look out. It's gonna jump. Now.
Stop. Cut. That's a machine, you fools.
- Peter?
- Yes, Ray?
I think we just made
a slight error in judgment.
Good guess.
Get these men off my set!
We are making a movie here.
Space Avengers of the Galaxy.
Nobody blows up anything
in my movie unless I tell them to.
Now, just hang on here a minute.
Nobody talks to us like that.
We're the Ghostbusters!
And I am a director.
I talk to anybody any way I want.
-Oh, yeah?
I have to hand it to you, Peter,
I've never seen anyone do that
to a man's pants before.
Yeah, well, I still say you
should have let me blast him.
The proton beams
are only supposed to be used on ghosts.
- I can take care of that.
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
Don't change the subject.
It might be a good idea
to leave your Proton Packs
someplace safe.
Hey, look at all this equipment.
-Just like the stuff at home.
-Except that they're props.
None of them work.
They just look the same.
If you leave your packs here,
nobody will bother them.
You can leave that too, if you like.
Not if you paid me.
Strange. For a second,
I seemed to get a reading,
and then it was gone.
Must be all
the electrical equipment around here.
And if you'll just come this way,
there are some people
just dying to meet you.
OK, this is the place.
"Deliver prop Proton Packs," It says.
Done. Eight protons.
Wait, eight? It says here four.
They want four, they get four.
Come on, give me a hand
getting these things back into storage.
Funny. These are heavier than the others.
Oh, well. Let's go.
Are you finished yet?
I need the megazoid in working
order for the next shot.
Will you be quiet?
What the?
Where are you going?
We have a movie to make.
It's just a machine. A fake?
Nothing personal, of course.
Look out. The megazoid! Run.
Get out of the way.
-No way.
-Right, sure.
We're not falling for
the same stunt twice.
Yeah, yeah, very impressive.
Peter, I think you should know
I'm getting very high readings
off that thing.
Next thing, you'll be telling
me there's a ghost inside it.
Bob, can you lead us back to our packs?
I'd say that's a yes, Wouldn't you?
OK. Well, I'm ready. Let's get that thing.
OK, buster.
I hope you have a hall pass,
because otherwise,
you're in a lot of trouble.
OK. Let him have it.
Fakes. They're props.
Well, Peter, you were right.
Someone is in a lot of trouble.
Unfortunately, you forgot to say it's us.
I'm sorry, sir.
There's been a slight problem.
We've had to evacuate
everyone from the studio.
But the Ghostbusters are on the scene.
I'm sure they have
everything well in hand.
Ray, could I speak with you for a moment?
Ouch! Watch where you're stepping.
Yeah, what is it?
Any ideas on how we can get out of this?
-Yeah, several.
Unfortunately, they all call for us
to be about 3000 miles east of here.
If I can make a suggestion.
I've adjusted
my P.K.E. Meter and the spare
to pick up the particle beam
energy of our Proton Packs.
So if we split up into two teams,
we increase the chance
of finding them faster.
Exactly. It will give the survivors
a much better chance.
The survivors, Egon?
And you wonder why you're
not invited to more parties.
All right, let's go.
The door is open. The door is open.
The door is open. The door is open.
-The dooris a mess.
The car is a mess. The
I said, quiet!
-Oh, wow!
-Hey, Winston,
this is where they make
all the Deadly Doctor Crowley movies.
Uh-huh. Now you think we can keep
You don't understand.
These are classics.
This is where he first brought
his creature to life.
By just pressing this button.
Wow. Look at this stuff. This is great.
And over there,
that's where the monster rose
when he brought it to life.
Oh, man, I'll never forget that scene.
The monster was huge, frightening,
big as life and twice as ugly.
And then, when Dr. Crowley
saw the monster,
he stepped back in horror, and he said
-No, no, he said
I think we better get out of here.
That's it. That's what he said.
Was that great, or was that
That stuff about being as
big as life and twice as ugly?
I didn't, I mean, it was justbye.
I told you those movies were bad for you.
- Hey, Slimer.
- Ray!
Hi, Ray!
What is it, Egon? Did you find our stuff?
Not exactly. Here, look at this.
What do you make of it?
Well, it's dark, and it's deep.
I'd make it a hole.
But that's just an opinion,
you understand.
This is where the ghost was hiding.
According to these readings,
it was a sleeping ghost.
Certain kinds of ghosts
spend eternity looking for
a nice quiet place to sleep.
When they're awakened,
they're very cranky.
So you think
It's noise that makes this thing violent?
Almost certainly.
I'd better warn the others.
Come in, Ray. Come in, Ray. You there?
-Yeah, Peter. What do you want?
-Shh, shh. Stop that.
Ray, it hates noise,
so be quiet, OK?
Oh, OK. Got it, Peter. Over and out.
You know, Winston, I was thinking.
Maybe losing our Proton Packs
was a good thing.
Maybe we should defeat
this thing with our wits.
Our courage, our imagination, our
No way.
You're right.
Let's find those Proton Packs
and blow this pop stand.
That's it.
They've gotta be in there.
Not bad. If you could
do that with lost keys,
we could make a fortune.
Ray, Winston, we found them.
We'll meet you back at the firehouse set.
If you see it, try and get
the thing to follow you.
I don't think that
will be a problem, Peter!
It's about time you got here.
I've got a two million dollar
megazoid in there,
and those Ghostbusters are gonna ruin it.
We'll stop that thing our way,
without damaging it.
So let's go.
Hey, glad you could make it.
Did you find you-know-who?
Ask a silly question
Look out below.
In case of monster attack,
always head for a doorway.
This concludes our safety tip for today.
Ray, now.
-All right.
Noise. Too much noise. Be quiet.
Mister, you ain't heard nothing yet.
OK. Ready? Fire.
Keep firing.
The only way we can trap it is to
drive it out of that machine.
It's up in the catwalk. Get it.
No. Fire up there,
and we'll bring the whole
place down on us.
Wait. Let it make the next move.
There. Blast him.
Blast him?
Ray, wouldn't it have been
a lot easier on our wardrobe
to just get out of the way?
Kind of got carried away, I guess, huh?
If only we could make it understand that,
in the final analysis,
we're trying to help it.
There's no place quieter than
the Containment Unit at home.
It would have all the peace
and quiet it wants.
Maybe. But how do you explain that
to something you can't talk to,
because it gets mad at the noise?
Of course. That's it.
Why didn't I see it earlier?
Egon, put that back on.
What do you think you're doing?
This is no time to give up, Egon.
I'm not.
But if I'm wrong,
you're going to need that.
Cover me,
but don't do anything unless I say so.
OK, I'm here. Come on down.
Oh, no.
-No, no!
-No. The man said to wait.
We'll give him his shot.
I just wish I knew what he was planning.
I think I know.
And if I'm right, it's brilliant.
I knew it. He's using sign language.
That way, he doesn't
have to make any noise.
-What's he saying?
-Yeah. What's he saying?
Yeah. I knew I should've
learned that stuff a long time ago.
Look, he's saying, "Please trust us.
"We can give you
the silence you want. Shh."
"Come out and let us help you."
All we
OK. He'll need absolute
quiet for the next 10 seconds.
There it is. There's my machine!
Protect it from that thing. Get it!
Crumbs. OK, fire.
Keep it steady.
Just another second.
Steady. Steady.
One pain in the neck down, one to go.
Don't do it, Pete. He's not worth it.
I had to protect my investment.
This machine is worth two million dollars.
Yeah, well, these guys
could've been hurt in the process.
Did you ever think of that?
I've got a movie to make.
We've got to stay on schedule.
For that, I need my machine in one piece.
Look out!
My movie.
My fortune.
Hmm, kind of reminds me
of your last movie.
Hey, cheer up.
Maybe we'll send you a couple tickets
to our movie when it comes out.
I know we're running
out of time, Sam.
In fact, the premier
of the Ghostbusters movie
started 30 seconds ago.
So I'm sure they'll be here any second.
If you could just hold on
- What?
- That's them right there.
Hey, sorry to be late for
the premiere of our own movie.
We ran across four full-torso vapors,
and we just couldn't
Forget it. We're off the air.
I can't believe you did this
to me again. Again!
I'm going home now. Good night!
The price of fame, guys. Now let's go.
Oh, wait. Movie,
Now, I'm gonna turn over the next card,
and I want you to tell me what it is.
You know, he doesn't look a thing like me.
Ghostbusters ♪
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