The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e20 Episode Script

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Ghost?

Ghostbusters! ♪
♪There's somethin' strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's somethin' weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Something is missing from this sauce.
Waiter, pass the pasta.
Pass the bread.
There's a fly in my soup!
I say, Olivia, weren't those
the Ghostsmashers who just ran by?
I hadn't noticed.
Where's our waiter?
Oh, you know the Ghostsmashers,
they're always in the National Inquisitor.
That's the National Intruder, John,
and they're called the Ghostbusters.
Can't you get anything right?
Oh, the Ghostbusters, of course.
Maybe we should contact them
about our, uh, problem.
Absolutely not.
We can handle one old ghost by ourselves.
There's no reason to bringing outsiders.
Yes dear.
Dinner is served, madam.
I see it. I got it.
Hey, he can't do that!
I missed!
There he goes.
I'll get him!
Look out!
Hey, what the heck is going on here?
How you guys doing?
Need any help?
We're in control, Ray.
Nothing unusual here.
I've always wanted to do this.
Think fast!
One trap with ghost stuffing,
coming up.
Good going, guys.
Mr. Ghostsmasher, uh, no,
Mr. Ghostbuster,
might I have one of your calling cards?
We don't employ ruffians.
We can solve our own ghost problems,
now, come along.
Yes, dear, whatever you say, dear.
He seems OK.
But I wonder, what he sees in her?
We're going to get rid of the ghost
of Uncle Horace all by ourselves.
Now just pay attention,
I'll explain it to you.
Yes, dear.
And, John, try not to slam the car door.
Yes, dear.
He seeks it here,
he seeks it there.
He's looking for it everywhere.
Is it in the hallway?
Maybe in the well?
That all elusive, uh, whatchamacallit.
This seeking sure is hard work.
If only I had some idea
what I'm looking for.
Ooh, that was close.
I'll need this in case there were
Things in the dark like,
like ghosts, you know.
There must be something wrong
with this mirror,
I'll have to get it fixed.
Are you certain
this plan will work, my dear?
My plan is flawless, perfect.
It's not in the attic,
it's not In the well.
Or maybe I should check in the basement.
No, no, I already did that.
Maybe the pantry, I always
like checking in there.
Ooh, um, boo boo, yes.
Think me, that sounds like a ghost!
Dear me, I'll never find my
Whatever, with a ghost hanging around.
Oh no, what if he's looking
for something too?
What if he's looking for me?
Ooh, um, eee!
Ah, woo, woo.
How did I sound, Olivia?
Rather spooky, I thought.
I'm not sure,
and I rather not dwell on it.
It'll make the outlook so depressing.
Shall we take the right, the left
or just forge on ahead?
We can just get this over with
much quicker if we split up.
You go that way.
But, Olivia my sweet,
I would hate to
leave you alone and unprotected.
And who's going to protect you?
Oh, there's Uncle Horace.
Let's get it right the first time, OK?
And stop shaking he's just a ghost.
ItsIt's aGhost!
Oh my!
Was that Uncle Horace?
You didn't tell me he was soSo ugly.
How dare you call my uncle ugly?
Before he took up haunting,
Uncle Horace the finest chef in the east.
I was his favorite niece.
Then, he let me down here.
Let's stop standing around, OK?
That was close.
I never thought that ghost could be so
So ugly.
Ghosts! Well, this certainly
complicates things.
Think me, how am I ever
gonna find my
Whatever it is?
"Ghosts in the attic,
spirits in the night.
Trolls on the bridge, that's all right.
Call the Ghostbusters.
Just dial NO-GHOST."
Yes, yes, yes, no.
Yes, the Stuart Mansion
in Glen Cove.
Oh, yes, we are very confidential.
Here you go boys,
your next assignment.
It's a real rush job.
Not if you hung me by my toes
from the World Trade Center.
We've been at it for two days straight
and I'm going beddie-bye.
We need our full eight hours.
Yeah, there's nothing you can say
that will get us to go back out there.
The Stuart Mansion, old money.
And this time I get that raise
you promised.
Hey, I'm wide awake.
On second thought.
I sure could use some cool night air.
Yeah, yeah.
Nice cottage.
Pretentious without being ostentatious.
Looks like they had
one heavy party in here last night.
The ghost who did this must
had been one bad dude.
No wonder Janine said this was a rush job.
I don't know guys,
this may be too much for us.
I don't think, uh, we'll ever
find that nasty old ghost.
It's too bad we have to give up so soon.
We might as well as face it.
We're licked.
We've only got one alternative.
Yeah, let's go home.
OK, I need some sleep.
Think me, I thought I saw
the strangest creatures,
four of them. I
We've got the little ghost now!
Shall I do the honors?
Ghost? We do ya mean ghost?
You people are making
a terrible mistake.
I'm not a ghost.
Say what?
I resent this unwarranted attack.
I am not a ghost.
And if you persist in treating me like one
I'llI'll sue.
Do you hear me? I'll sue.
This is interesting, Ray.
Remember that hefty apparition
on West 34th Street?
Well, this spunky little fellow
is just the same.
He really doesn't know that he's
You think he could actually sue us?
Wake up Horace,
I knew I shouldn't have
eaten that midnight snack.
Rabbit always gives me
the strangest dreams.
I know, I'll pinch myself,
that will wake me.
Oh, no.
That's right, Mister, you're a ghost.
And from the looks of this place,
a very messy ghost.
Think me, I am a ghost.
That certainly explains everything,
doesn't it?
I'm afraid so.
Now, if you'll just step into
this little duplex Ghost trap.
You certainly don't think I'm responsible
for this destruction?
I'm the one who called you fellows in.
Here, just like it says
on this card.
Gentlemen, I officially declare
this ghost's mansion haunted.
In stereo.
Winston and I will check it out,
you two watch Mr. Identity Crisis here.
Sounds like uncle Horace
knows how to have a good time.
He always did.
Pick up your sheet and come on.
Our little sprite's got good taste.
It's the Ghostbusters.
What are they doing here?
Did you call them?
Never, but now that they're here
we can let them take care of Horace.
No, this is family business.
Besides, they'll ruin the carpets.
You scare them away,
I'll take care of my uncle.
I'm sure we passed
that picture before.
We're just going around in big circles.
I don't know.
I'd like a second opinion.
Now that's service.
Haa! Ha! Ha!
Woo! Boo!
Hiss! Aa-ii!
Wow! Did you see that?
Nice tennis shoes.
Nice sheet.
Truly gentlemen,
it simply never occurred to me
that I could be a ghost.
Oh, now I'll never find my
Well, whatever it was.
I guess it doesn't matter now.
Are you going to dispose of me?
Well, you did call us for help
and I guess it'd be impolite
to zap your employer.
The best scenario is to let
Horace disperse peacefully.
But he can't, not until
he finds what he's looking for.
So let's go.
Now, can you remember
where you last saw it, Horace?
If it was that simple
I wouldn't be
in this mess now, would I?
Funny, I don't remember
switching on the record player.
You didn't, the other ghost went upstairs.
It's probably responsible
for this musical interlude.
So much for your meters.
There are two other ghosts
not one, I have seen them.
-Piffle. I've had enough.
First I find I'm a ghost and now this.
Hey, this ghost's pretty mean.
I think you should leave
the rough stuff to us, Horace.
Why, don't you think I can
take care of myself?
Watch this, I'll show you
how scary I can be
when I put my mind to it.
Who knows what evil lurks
in the brains of ducks?
Me do, me do.
What foul specter
is this that treads
where neither ghost or man may go.
Might his name be Horace?
Be gone little fish.
My pond is too big for the likes of you.
No, I said be gone.
Put me down, put me down you brute!
Oh, no, you don't.
It's time we had a little talk.
All right, I confess,
I'm not really a ghost,
I'm an impostor.
Never would have guessed.
Say, I remember you
from the restaurant.
What are you doing here?
My fiancee Olivia Stuart
recently inherited this estate
and she wants to sell it
but she can't because its haunted.
So you thought to beat
the ghost at his own game.
You folks are too much.
Oh, my goodness, that's Olivia!
Courage my love, I'll save you.
Ray, Egon, did you hear that?
Way ahead of you, Winston.
Meet us in the playroom.
You're never gonna believe this.
What is this, a dime-a-dance joint?
Sorry, my dance card's all filled up.
Horace, let go of Olivia immediately.
Hold it, buster,
I believe the lady promised
the first dance to me.
Aren't you Ghostsmashers
going to rescue my poor dear Olivia?
Say, don't I know you?
Oh, no, another one.
He's no fun, he felt tight over.
What happened to the great lover?
Gentlemen, I suggest we
concern ourselves with the
Damsel in distress?
we can't fire as long as
he's holding her.
See that chandelier?
It's giving me an idea for a plan.
I want you guys to wait until I
Just hold on, Peter.
You plan to swing from the chandelier
because it's always something
you've always wanted to do.
Well, for once, what you want to do
is exactly what I've always wanted to do.
OK, be my guest, Egon,
if it means that much to ya.
Perhaps I was a tad hasty.
It always works in the movies.
Yes, but they have stand-in
I say
My hero.
My niece!
Now I remember what I've
been looking for.
I remember!
He'll never tango again.
How did I do, Peter?
Couldn't have done it better myself.
Which I for one would actually
never do. I could get killed.
I know you, you're my niece, Olivia.
I wasn't looking for a thing.
I was looking for you.
I just
I just wanted to tell you
that I love you.
One last time.
Oh, Uncle Horace.
I'm so ashamed.
When you left me
without saying goodbye, I
Hush child, that's all done now.
Goodbye, Olivia.
My favorite and most special niece.
Oh, Uncle Horace.
He's gone.
He dispersed peacefully.
There, there, my dear.
He's found his peace at last.
You know darling,
I don't think we should sell this place.
I think our kids will really
enjoy growing up here.
Looks like our job is over.
Yeah, let's blow this pop stand.
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