The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e22 Episode Script

Doctor, Doctor

Ghostbusters! ♪
If there's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
If there's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Just a little more.
We've almost got him.
You know, for a simple
class-3 vaporous apparition
he's got a lot of spunk.
I think I can, I think I can.
No, I can't. No, I can't.
There he goes!
We've got him cornered now.
Let's take him.
OK, everyone. Be very quiet.
What did you say, Egon?
Man, this stuff smells worse
than Peter's closet.
What is this place?
Looks like a chemical research
and development center.
Over there!
Playing games, eh? Well, take this.
Peter, no. Wait.
Too late.
I think you just made
a major boo-boo, Peter.
You and your technical jargon.
Not so fast, tall, round and ugly.
OK. Let's take it on home.
Hit it.
Egon, didn't you say
this was a class-3 apparition?
Correct. Why?
Well, the instrumentation on
the ghost trap indicates a class-2.
Hmm. The P.K.E meter confirms that.
How could a ghost go from a strong class-3
to a weak class-2?
He got Fs in ghosting?
Heads up.
We've got company.
Funny. They don't look like
they're coming out to congratulate us.
You fools!
I'd say that confirms it, wouldn't you?
That building contained thousands
of dollars of experimental chemicals.
We were told we could go
anywhere we had to to get that thing.
Yeah, and what idiot
gave you that permission?
Harcourt Alabaster III.
You may have heard of him.
He owns this place.
The boss?
Good work, men.
Uh, we'll take it from here.
You enjoy doing that, don't you?
The most fun you could have
without breaking the law.
Really, Peter.
I should think such trivial
pleasures would be beneath you.
Besides, it was my turn.
Next time, I promise.
Now, let's get home
and try to get this gunk off.
Jeez, this stuff is worse than Slimer.
Come on, guys.
It can't be that bad.
I mean, you all just took showers.
You should feel refreshed.
Janine, do you know what
it took to get that stuff off?
I lost at least three layers of skin.
Four here. Man, I hurt in places
I didn't even know I had.
The atmosphere is composed of billions
and billions of tiny molecules.
And right now, I can feel
every single one of them.
I don't ever wanna be touched
by anyone ever again.
Do it and die all over again, Slimer.
Am I clear?
I feel awful.
I think I know why.
I think we've got trouble.
Guys back yet, Slimer?
I got some munchies for lunch.
Uh-uh. I'm not hungry.
You're not hungry? You?
Did Dr. Venkman threaten
to stick you in
a fourth dimensional gate again?
OK, guys. Chow.
Don't we usually wait
till after we've eaten to scream, Janine?
Yeah. What do you think
of our new look?
I mean, are we taking
a fashion risk or what?
WhatWhat happened?
I thought you guys got rid
of all that stuff.
So did we. Then this grew in.
It seems a little different
from the original substance though.
Yeah. It's a lot more gross.
Man, I thought skin problems
like this ended with high school.
This stuff even comes through our clothes.
We called the chemical place
to see what covered us,
but when the place blew up,
everything got mixed together.
They'reThey're not sure what hit us.
Not to panic, guys,
but I think we'd better see
a professional about this.
Yes, yes.
Everything'll be just fine.
Now, cough.
Cough. Cough.
You're sure this is nothing serious?
Absolutely certain, Dr. Spengler.
If I thought this were
anything truly dangerous,
I'm sure you could tell, right?
We're in big trouble.
At least our insurance is paid up.
Peter, don't do this to me.
Don't tell me
we didn't pay our insurance.
Actually, Ray, I've been
meaning to talk to you about that.
I'm sorry, Slimer.
The doctor said you can't come in here.
You aren't sterile.
We could always boil him.
Pay no attention, Slimer.
A waste is a terrible thing to mind.
How are they treating you, Egon?
Like a two-headed calf.
Now I know how Slimer feels.
I just wish they'd let me
bring some of my equipment in.
Well, it's against hospital policy,
but I sneaked you in a few things.
I knew I could trust you.
You brought the spectrometer, right?
The ecto-difusitron?
The plasmometer?
Chicken soup with mushrooms.
Your favorite.
Thanks, Janine. You're
You're a real comfort.
Here you go, Winston.
Melville, Dickens and Alan Parsons
as you requested.
Hey, thanks.
Anything for me, Janine?
Yes, Dr. Venkman.
I'm going to let you live.
Only because I know
you're not going to enjoy it.
Kiss me, you fool.
Ray, what is it?
What's wrong?
I'll show you, but, well, you
You better brace yourselves.
I think things just got worse,
and a whole lot weirder.
Hmm. Yes, uh, very interesting.
Very interesting indeed.
Yeah, but do you have any idea what it is?
Hmm? Uh, oh, certainly.
Of course I know what it is.
It'sIt's an eye.
Anyone can see that.
Is it me, or does anyone else
here think the good doctor
is completely out of his element here?
So, we're all in agreement,
which means the eyes have it.
Well, Doctor, can you cure them?
Certainly. Certainly.
Though it may take time.
Perhaps five, six years.
Oh, yes. Definitely.
And then there's the papers,
conventions of
the American Medical Association,
books, all the rest.
Just keep that thing away from them.
He'll contaminate the findings.
Besides, he's gross.
Meanwhile, more tests.
More tests and more tests and more tests.
Fill this, please.
I warn you, I know karate.
All right.
Just a few more needles to go.
Doc, you've punctured us ten times
already in the last five minutes.
Yes, but after all, I'm the doctor here,
so there's not much
you can do about it, is there?
There it be, Captain Ahab. Get it.
Aye. Great white, five points
off the starboard bow, sir.
Stand aside, men.
This one's all mine.
Hey. Ow!
Watch it. Ow! Hey!
Oh, Ray, areAre you all right?
I think so, Ma.
Guess I'll go milk the cows now.
Miss Melnitz, I told you to keep that
-That ghost away from my patients.
Hey, wait a minute.
How did it do that?
Perhaps next time, Miss Melnitz,
you'll listen to me.
I gotta tell you, guys,
this is really gross.
I mean, even the doctors
won't come near us.
Excuse me, but, uh,
shouldn't you be in bed
away from everyone else?
Sorry. We think better when we wheel.
See? You just have to know
how to talk to them.
Reports on the Ghostbusters
are being kept confidential
by the hospital.
Unofficial sources indicate
the strange malady may be incurable.
Oh, too bad. They were
about to get to the sports.
Well, it could be worse.
Could be hay-fever season.
Well, I'm not giving up.
There's gotta be some solution.
Didn't the chemical plant
tell you anything?
Only that the chemical that
exploded was experimental.
Designed to absorb
a wide spectrum of energies.
So, when the ghost went through it,
the substance absorbed
its ectoplasmic properties.
Then our proton blasts gave it
the spark it needed to come to life.
So, we could zap it,
if only we could get the stuff off us.
Of course, that's the hard part.
Yeah, this stuff just won't come off.
Hey, what the
Cut that out. Stop it.
Hmm. Strange.
Something seems to have
excited the substance.
Forget "strange."
This stuff's going wild.
Hey, it's coming up my neck.
Stop it!
If it covers our mouths, we're finished.
I'll get a doctor.
No, wait. Look.
The substance seems fixed on Slimer.
Just like before, when it pulled off
and took a swipe at Slimer.
I'll get rid of him.
Don't worry.
Dr. Gould was right.
We should keep him away.
No, Janine.
Let Slimer in the hall.
Peter's right, I hope.
If we're wrong, we're doomed anyway.
Do it, Janine.
OK, quick.
Grab something to hold on to.
Now, Janine.
Go on, Slimer.
Go to them. Hurry!
No, Slimer, stay. Please.
That's it.
It's pulling off, going after Slimer.
Hold on!
It must need
the ecto energy to stay alive.
It wants it bad.
But what's it want him for?
What'll it do with him once it has him?
What else?
It'll try to eat him.
Run, Slimer!
So far, they're responding
well to my treatments.
As long as they keep
that crummy ghost away, they'll be fine.
This used to be such a nice,
quiet hospital.
Then they started letting
all these sick people inside.
What are you doing?
You're too weak to stand.
Have to go after that thing.
Right. Before it hurts any patients.
Besides, it'll eat Slimer if we don't.
Well, we don't actually have to hurry.
Are you guys sure
you know what you're doing?
Why start now?
Heat 'em up!
Let's kick some gunk.
Ghostbusters ♪
Slimer, heads up!
OK. Just close your little
beady eyes and trust us.
OK, people.
Ready, aim,
OK, Egon, now what?
We can't trap it, since it's not a ghost.
The particle beams don't affect it
because it must've absorbed
some of the proton energy.
So, there's only one chance.
Overload it and hope for the best.
It's absorbing the beams.
Just keep firing!
Somebody ought to tell that thing
you can't smoke in hospitals.
Watch it
Hit the deck!
The heck with waiting.
Come on, Slimer.
Oh, yuck!
I'm hip.
Well, gentlemen, it's been a week,
and no sign of a recurrence.
I'm pleased to pronounce you cured.
Naturally, there's one last matter
still to be settled, of course.
The fee for our services.
Gee, how about that?
We were about to give you
the bill for our services.
What? But I
Gee, Peter, they're the same amount.
An absolutely amazing coincidence.
Guess that means we'll call it even, Doc.
See you around.
But IUh, the AMA
We, uh
You did real good, Pete.
Yes. Tearing them up
was a very nice touch.
Can I do it next time?
All in good time, buddies.
All in good time.
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