The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e26 Episode Script

Chicken, He Clucked

Ghostbusters! ♪
If there's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
OK, here we go.
We've got your bucket of chicken,
your half bucket of chicken,
your personal serving and extra big family
serving of chicken.
And we've got roasted chicken,
roasted chicken, fried chicken,
boiled chicken and barbequed chicken.
Chicken wings, chicken legs,
chicken breast
I can't take it anymore, you hear?
I can't stand it.
It's the chickens.
They drive me mad, you hear?
Stark staring mad!
My apartment smells like chicken.
My clothes smell like
little polyester chickens.
Chickens, chickens!
Why won't they just leave me alone?
I'm on the edge of losing my mind.
I gotta hold on. Yeah, that's it.
Hold on. Hold on.
You know something, buddy?
You smell like a chicken.
She's right. She's right.
I smell like a chicken.
Chickens. Round, white, feathery chickens!
You've had it!
From now on, it's war.
I'm done. There won't be
a chicken left on Earth.
Bet you don't get
many celebrities here.
Well, maybe some actors,
but I mean people who can read.
As Ghostbusters,
we have a scientific responsibility to
Will that be all?
Are you kidding?
You know how many words
there are in these things?
Why, I'll bet I read
more than anyone else in this room.
Ah, the rest of my books.
He'll check these out for me,
I'll be in the car, Egon.
Come on, guys!
Anything else, Dr. Spengler?
Yes. I couldn't find
Spirit Summonings and Conjurations,
Lochmore's Guide to the Lower Regions,
and the latest volume
of Who's Who and What's that?
Oh, but those volumes
have already been checked out. By him.
Chickens. Chickens.
Just wait.
Is he human?
Unfortunately, yes.
Well, maybe next time.
See you next week!
He is so cute.
A word of caution
from one expert
in the paranormal to a
Well, whatever.
Be careful with those books.
In the wrong hands,
they could be dangerous.
Not dangerous to me,
But chickens
Anything with feathers, look out!
Definitely evolved from the shallow end
of the gene pool.
I'll solve this equation
if it's the last thing I do.
Actually, that about solves it,
except you misplaced a decimal point.
Not bad.
Have you ever considered
working for Carl Sagan?
Boy, this is great.
Don't you just love it
when we can relax?
Yes, sir, this is the kinda night
nothing can go wrong.
Here it goes.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
Let's see a chicken do this.
Zim, zam, how's it goin'?
Havin' a good time, Vishnu was here.
Right in your fine work!
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Morgannon reporting for assignment.
Class 5 Summoning.
Nothing major.
Some guy wants to make a deal.
See what he wants.
Just follow procedure.
He'll probably want something big.
So, argue him down as far as you can.
As long as we get
what we want.
Your Imp.
Yes, sir.
Zim, zam, how's it goin'?
Havin' a good time,
Vishnu was here.
Right in your fine work!
Hooboy! Hooboy! Hooboy!
It worked. It worked!
Oh, boy, oh, boy. It worked!
Of course, it worked.
I am Morgannon,
one of the greatest of demons.
And this is my imp.
Now, are you prepared
to pay the price for my services?
In exchange, I take it you'll want
something grand.
Uh, to be ruler of a great country,
for instance.
Nope. Ah.
Immortality then.
You want to live forever.
Fame, love, power?
I want you to get rid
of all thechickens in the world.
You what? Chickens?
You're sure you wouldn't
prefer a small country?
Nope. I want you
to get rid of all those chickens, period.
I can give you France.
It's a really nice country.
We've have lots of people from France.
Have you ever had French pastry?
I don't want France.
I want you to get rid of
all the chickens in the world,
Oh, chickens.
Excuse me a moment.
This is my final offer.
I will give you a great power.
You can make anything appear
or disappear.
It is done.
You will have this power
at dawn tomorrow.
Uh, just don't tell anyone about this,
all right?
Now, come, Imp.
No more chickens!
I wonder, does it work?
Hey, you! Beat it.
OK, listen up.
As of this moment,
I'm ordering every chicken on Earth
to get off the planet.
I did it. I did it.
I did it!
You too.
The least you could do is
let a guy finish dressing, Egon.
We realized Janine told you
what this was all about,
but how about telling us?
Say what?
Not you.
Real chickens.
All the chickens in the world
have vanished.
You've been up all night
doing equations again, haven't you?
You know how that affects you.
But if you're right, Egon,
why are we heading
into town instead of the country?
Just playing a hunch.
When he took the books on spirits
and summonings
he mentioned chickens.
If you could possibly
tell me where he lives
Well, since it's you.
I beg your pardon but
what is that perfume
you're wearing?
Essence of fungus.
You like it?
Actually it's very
Uh, never mind.
I hope this address helps.
I'm sure it will.
Thank you.
Uh, this is my address.
Just in case.
Do you have chickens?
I could get some.
That's disgusting.
Bad enough I got
no deliveries coming in
Now the statue is gone.
Who'd want a five-hundred
pound plastic chicken?
Two-ton plaster wolf.
Hey! Who asked you?
Beat it!
There he is.
The one I saw.
OK, buddy, come on down,
nice and slow.
Yeah, we wanna talk to you
about some missing chickens.
They're not missing.
I know exactly where they are.
Would you like to see them?
Well, sure. Yeah.
Oh, no.
Have it your way.
I suppose there's no point
in calling a taxi, huh?
None whatsoever.
Where the heck are we, anyway?
In another dimension.
Probably the same one
Cubby sent the chickens into.
OK, so where are all those chickens?
Drumsticks at 6 o'clock.
Well, that solves
half the problem.
Now all we gotta do
is find a way to get us and them
back where we belong.
Actually there is one
other small problem, Winston.
What's that?
Watch out!
By any chance, Egon,
was that the other problem
you were mentioning?
Only in part.
You'll notice that in this dimension,
the chickens are floating above us.
While we,
on the other hand, are falling.
Gravity, Peter.
That's the problem.
My feelings exactly.
I calculate 63 seconds
before we impact.
There's gotta be something we can do.
We could all put on parachutes.
We don't have parachutes.
I know. Depressing, isn't it?
47 seconds to impact.
How long would it take
to wire the Proton Pack
to provide alternate thrust?
Give us a soft landing.
One minute, ten seconds.
Twenty seconds to impact.
Hey, we made it.
We're safe.
What is this place anyway?
And how did we get here?
the nether regions,
the underworld.
I brought you here.
Please, follow me.
Could be a trap.
What if we don't
want to follow you?
Then I send you back
to the point at which I took you.
One second before impact.
Any more questions?
No, I think that'll do.
Come on. Let's not keep
the nice demon waiting.
So, we made a deal.
And I gave him the power
to make anything vanish.
And he used it on chickens.
I could have given him wealth,
power, fame and he wastes it.
Wastes me on chickens.
I need you but don't push it.
What I can't figure is,
what do you need us for?
I mean, you fulfilled
your half of the deal,
why the concern?
Hey, Morgannon.
Seen any chickens lately?
Oh, hey.
The boss was looking
for someone to handle a new deal,
but he couldn't use you.
The King of Rowdania
doesn't have feathers.
But I just want to say.
Does that answer your question?
For a demon of my status,
to strike a bargain
over chickens is embarrassing.
It's ruining my reputation.
How did they find out?
I have a pretty good idea.
You must help me.
It's my only chance
to redeem myself,
and your only chance
to get those cursed chickens back.
Send us back
and you've got a deal.
Yeah, what do we have to do?
If he puts everything
back the way it was,
I can break the contract.
And once the contract is broken,
he can't send the chickens away again.
I think I know a way.
Then do it. Hurry!
I can't stand another minute of this.
Oh, I hate you.
Well, all right, home sweet home.
Yeah, great.
Only how are we gonna
get those chickens back?
I don't think we want
that demon mad at us.
I'll explain as we work. Hurry.
OK, stop!
Now everything is set.
It'll never work.
Never in a million years.
Hey, lady.
How many chickens does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
Oh come on, let me finish.
It's funny.
Chicken lover!
Huh? What?
What the
Oh, hey, Chuckles.
Miss us while we were gone?
It's not possible.
I sent you away.
You were with the chickens!
Oh, yeah, the chickens.
We forgot to mention that.
What about the chickens?
You couldn't bring them back.
No! They're gone, you hear?
That's right.
There are no more chickens.
Whatever you say.
Except then what are these
doing here?
Oh, no!
No! This can't be.
I sent you all away.
True. But we found a way
to reverse the process.
Well, two can play that game.
If you reversed and brought them back,
I can reverse it again!
No! Don't do it!
Oh, I'll do it all right.
And this time,
I'll find a way to keep them there.
All chickens everywhere.
Go right back where you came from.
Now! I command it!
I wouldn't stand too close
if I were you.
-This could get real ugly.
-Got you.
There. Now we'll see who's smarter.
I don't get it.
Oh, no.
You think you're smart, don't you?
Well, I'll fix you.
- I'll
- you won't anything.
Here with I do take back
my gift of power.
One, two, three, four,
no backsies.
Ghostbusters ♪
No. You can't do this to me.
We had a deal.
Thanks, fellows.
You may be a pain in the neck to my kind
most of the time
but for now, I owe you one.
See you around.
Well, one of you anyway.
How come you guys always look at me
when somebody says stuff like that?
No comment.
I wanna thank you again
for bringing Cubby to our attention.
Oh, I can assure you,
he'll get the finest care
and be up on his feet in no time.
Five, ten years at the outside.
Thank you, Dr. Hardrake.
Come on, guys,
let's blow this pop stand.
At least we know
the guy will be in good hands.
Got your dinner, Cubby.
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