The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s03e03 Episode Script
Slimer, Is That You?
1
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Which way did they go?
And where's Egon?
Fascinating.
Hang on, Egon! We're coming!
Egon! Egon, are you OK?
Hmm? Oh, yes,
I'm fine, Winston. How are you?
Emergency, huh?
Next time, I say we leave him here
and let him ignore the ghost to death.
Gentlemen, I've made
a fascinating discovery.
So have I.
You really ought to make
those things out of plastic.
They'll last a lot longer.
I'm picking up
secondary and tertiary spectral readings.
Just like the last few times,
some outside force is controlling this.
Directing it.
Excellent deduction
Egon Spengler.
I am called the Master of Shadows.
And I applaud your ability
to discover my presence.
Your intellect comes near
to rivaling my own.
Yeah, well, applaud this, pepper head.
A pitiful effort.
Do you really think
to capture one such as me
with such primitive
and ineffectual measures?
Well, it seemed like
a good idea at the time.
Yeah, if you'll just
hold still for one second.
I fear not!
Perhaps you are not
as skilled as I had thought.
Pity.
Your city shall go up in flames.
And it will be all your fault.
I wouldn't be too sure
about that if I were you.
Not at all.
Do you really think
that device will let you
communicate with that creature, Egon?
In theory.
When the creature appeared,
I was able to get a reading
of its spectral frequency.
If I transmit on that frequency,
it should receive me.
Why bother?
It'd be like trying to communicate
with spud face here.
In order to defeat the enemy, Peter,
we must first know the enemy.
There, the last connection's in place.
Wish I had time to insulate the wires.
If I make contact,
the holographic projector
will show us the creature.
Well, here goes.
Egon Spengler to the Master of Shadows,
Spengler to Master of Shadows, come in.
We're sorry. The Master of Shadows
isn't home right now.
If you'll leave your name
and dimensional coordinates,
he'll return the call as soon as he can.
It figures.
Excellent! Truly excellent.
You have reaffirmed my belief in you.
It will make you
so much more fun to destroy.
He's a snappy dresser too.
Does that count for anything?
Just trying to help. And will you bug off.
Is it possible for you to tell us
why you're attacking the city?
Why?
To demonstrate my superiority
to all mortals.
That would include you.
Nothing personal though, of course.
Of course.
Especially considering that
you're not superior to me.
On the whole,
I'd say I'm considerably
more intelligent than you.
Is that so?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
Yeah?
Don't you just love it
when two superior minds
-meet in a deeply philosophical debate?
-Shh.
I think Egon's trying
to egg him in to something.
Last warning!
Anger me, and I will
challenge you personally.
I accept.
Midnight. The corner of 15th and Madison.
You and me, one on one.
Be there or be square.
Done!
But beware, if you do not come,
I will destroy the city in one night.
Meanwhile, the attacks will continue.
See you at midnight, Egon Spengler!
Man knows how to make an exit.
Well, it worked.
That's a great machine
you've got there, Egon.
Thanks. It's crude but effective.
Now all we have to do is
Slimer, get away from there!
-Egon!
-Talk to me, Egon.
-Are you OK?
-Egon?
For every action
there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Hey, that's pretty good.
He said that without even moving his lips.
Why are you all
standing over there?
Oh, my head, I
What's wrong with you guys?
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no!
So as nearly as I can tell,
when Slimer touched the machine,
his ectoplasm shorted out a circuit,
fused it and our minds were exchanged.
So all we have to do is
figure out which circuit
so we can reverse the process.
Yes, and soon.
Before Slimer eats my body
into a butterball coma.
That's really disgusting.
Yummy!
Great, more trouble.
Let's go.
The banister, Slimer! The banister!
Remember that's my body
you're slamming around.
OK, sorry.
OK, guys. It's showtime!
Haunting at 23rd and Lex.
Sounds like more of the same.
So, the Master of Shadows
wants to play rough, eh?
OK, Egon,
you stay here and figure out
how to pull yourself together.
We'll handle this ourselves.
Oh, Janine,
keep an eye on old Slimer here.
Don't let him do anything
Egon will regret later.
Better get to work. Let's see
If the cybernetic units
were accidentally crossed
with the cerebral pathways
Keep you happy and quiet, huh?
Well, here's a start.
Have a cookie, Slimer.
Cookie!
Mmm, nice!
Come on, will you stand still?
No good, Peter.
They're going too fast for us
to get a beat on them.
Hardly seems fair, does it?
Got it. Look, I'll head over
to the other side of the rink.
We'll get them in the crossfire.
We can't miss that way.
Winston, look out!
What?
This isThis is awful.
Look at it, Peter. It'sIt's horrible.
It's tortureIt's
It's roller derby.
Right, but we can't fire
or we might hit Winston.
You won't have to.
Looks like all that roller derby
I watched as a kid,
is going to pay off.
Winston!
Go faster, faster!
Get ahead of the pack!
Easy for you to say.
OK, now what?
Shoot the skates! Shoot the skates!
Easy for you to say!
Whoa!
Now! Fire!
Got them. The trap, fast!
Where is the bright one?
Where is Egon Spengler?
Is he too frightened to come?
Nah. You're strictly small time.
HeHe had to, uh, mail a letter.
Do not jest with me.
If he is not ready and present
at the appointed time,
I will be disappointed.
And I will destroy
your pitiful city!
Minus the square root of the hypotenuse
considering the analysis of co-variants
Oh, no, that's not it.
My life is over.
Egon.
You know, it never ceases to amaze me,
what a mess this place is.
I mean, just look at that
ugly green smear on the wall.
Thanks, Peter, you're a real comfort.
There's got to be
an easier way to do this.
Well, at least now
you know what it's like.
So, did you figure it out yet, Egon?
Yeah, how much longer
till you're back to normal?
Normal being a fairly
relative term in your case of course.
Ignoring that last remark,
the equations are all done.
And I think I know
which circuit needs to be rewired.
Ray, I'll need you for that.
Why? Look, Egon,
you wired the circuit,
can't you rewire it?
I mean you take Ray
and that'll leave just Winston and me.
Peter, it's impossible to do delicate work
with ectoplasm covered hands.
OK, OK, I take it back.
Don't worry about being shorthanded.
I'll come with you while Ray works.
You've been awfully quiet, Janine.
It's nothing, Egon.
I'm just realizing
it really is your mind I like.
Do you have any idea
what she's talking about?
I don't know.
OK, guys. Carry on the war.
I've got me a date with a machine.
WhoWhat are you?
I'm a scientist.
Hey, you're a slime ball.
I'm starting to take this very personally.
Ooh, candy, mmm, want candy, yum yum. I
WhatWhat am I saying?
Oh, I've got to get out of Slimer, fast.
Got you. All right, you bunch ofOf
Hooligans. Take this.
Whoa! Hey! Hey!
Egon?
Hey, watch where you point that thing.
I'm trying!
Egon?
Hey, Egon, you OK?
Oh, my
I sure hope Ray's fixing that machine.
I think old Egon here's
getting more like Slimer every minute.
Don't worry. If anybody can do this
with his hands tied
behind his back, it's Ray.
So, hear you are.
Oh, boy. Better let me
do the talking, uh, Egon.
You are up to something, Egon Spengler.
So, I have decided
to move our appointment up.
To right now!
Now wait a minute. That's not fair.
I care nothing for fair.
I'm here to win! And I shall.
Meet me at the appointed place now,
or I will destroy the city.
Don't listen to him, Slimer.
Just wait right here, OK.
Meet me at the appointed place now,
or I will destroy the city.
Oh, no!
Hello, guys, this is Ray. Come in.
Peter, Winston, Egon, anybody.
This is Ray. I repeat. This is Ray.
Very good, Ray,
you know your name.
Now if you can write it
you win a gold star.
Oh, boy, am I glad to hear you.
-We've got trouble guys.
-Hey, it's Slimer.
I mean Egon. I mean look!
Make that big trouble, guys.
Big, big trouble!
Did you finish rewiring the device, Ray?
I think so.
As long as Slimer's
within a 20 yard radius,
it'll work, I think.
Good, IHmm
Does this belong to anybody?
Egon, that thing hasn't
belonged to anybody
since dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
You know, it's curious,
but in Slimer's body,
everything tastes like chicken.
Not bad really. Have some?
Let's find Slimer, guys,
or little Petey here's going to throw up.
So, you have come.
Alone, as I requested. Good.
Now we can see which of us
is truly the superior intellect.
Well, you were so brave before.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Me?
I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that.
Say something!
What! You dare mock me!
We've got to do something
before he kills Slimer.
EgonWhoever.
I'll distract him.
You get my body back here
and hook it up. Now!
And now, to finish the job.
Hey, mush for brains. Over here.
What!
Not real bright, are you?
I'm the one you want, remember?
YourYour voice is the same.
But no, it cannot be.
Brain too small to grasp
the possibilities, eh?
Whoever you are,
you cannot speak to me in that fashion!
No? Boy, you are deaf. I just did.
Enough! WhoeverWhatever you are,
no one mocks the Master of Shadows!
Take this!
Can't hit a moving target, can you?
Not so much fun, is it?
Come on, keep at it.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
-You ready?
-As ready as it gets.
Here goes nothing.
It's doing it, it's working.
So, at last I have you.
Now you will die, Egon Spengler.
Hey! Tin head, over here.
Surprise!
What isWhat's thatWhat
Oh, boy.
But, I don't
I don't understand this
Exactly!
You're too slow
to keep up with us and dodge the beams.
And that's why you lose.
No! It's not fair! It's not fair!
All right! Nobody outsmarts our Egon.
-All right, way to go!
-Oh, great.
Wonderful.
I have to hand it to you, Ray.
I never thought you'd get that machine
put back together in time.
Yeah, all those wires,
so little time.
How can you be sure
you got all the connections right?
Oh, instinct, I guess.
You just know it in your
I won't mention it if you don't.
-Deal.
-Deal.
OK Slimer, they're gone. Good work.
Yum yum.
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Which way did they go?
And where's Egon?
Fascinating.
Hang on, Egon! We're coming!
Egon! Egon, are you OK?
Hmm? Oh, yes,
I'm fine, Winston. How are you?
Emergency, huh?
Next time, I say we leave him here
and let him ignore the ghost to death.
Gentlemen, I've made
a fascinating discovery.
So have I.
You really ought to make
those things out of plastic.
They'll last a lot longer.
I'm picking up
secondary and tertiary spectral readings.
Just like the last few times,
some outside force is controlling this.
Directing it.
Excellent deduction
Egon Spengler.
I am called the Master of Shadows.
And I applaud your ability
to discover my presence.
Your intellect comes near
to rivaling my own.
Yeah, well, applaud this, pepper head.
A pitiful effort.
Do you really think
to capture one such as me
with such primitive
and ineffectual measures?
Well, it seemed like
a good idea at the time.
Yeah, if you'll just
hold still for one second.
I fear not!
Perhaps you are not
as skilled as I had thought.
Pity.
Your city shall go up in flames.
And it will be all your fault.
I wouldn't be too sure
about that if I were you.
Not at all.
Do you really think
that device will let you
communicate with that creature, Egon?
In theory.
When the creature appeared,
I was able to get a reading
of its spectral frequency.
If I transmit on that frequency,
it should receive me.
Why bother?
It'd be like trying to communicate
with spud face here.
In order to defeat the enemy, Peter,
we must first know the enemy.
There, the last connection's in place.
Wish I had time to insulate the wires.
If I make contact,
the holographic projector
will show us the creature.
Well, here goes.
Egon Spengler to the Master of Shadows,
Spengler to Master of Shadows, come in.
We're sorry. The Master of Shadows
isn't home right now.
If you'll leave your name
and dimensional coordinates,
he'll return the call as soon as he can.
It figures.
Excellent! Truly excellent.
You have reaffirmed my belief in you.
It will make you
so much more fun to destroy.
He's a snappy dresser too.
Does that count for anything?
Just trying to help. And will you bug off.
Is it possible for you to tell us
why you're attacking the city?
Why?
To demonstrate my superiority
to all mortals.
That would include you.
Nothing personal though, of course.
Of course.
Especially considering that
you're not superior to me.
On the whole,
I'd say I'm considerably
more intelligent than you.
Is that so?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
Yeah?
Don't you just love it
when two superior minds
-meet in a deeply philosophical debate?
-Shh.
I think Egon's trying
to egg him in to something.
Last warning!
Anger me, and I will
challenge you personally.
I accept.
Midnight. The corner of 15th and Madison.
You and me, one on one.
Be there or be square.
Done!
But beware, if you do not come,
I will destroy the city in one night.
Meanwhile, the attacks will continue.
See you at midnight, Egon Spengler!
Man knows how to make an exit.
Well, it worked.
That's a great machine
you've got there, Egon.
Thanks. It's crude but effective.
Now all we have to do is
Slimer, get away from there!
-Egon!
-Talk to me, Egon.
-Are you OK?
-Egon?
For every action
there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Hey, that's pretty good.
He said that without even moving his lips.
Why are you all
standing over there?
Oh, my head, I
What's wrong with you guys?
You look as if you've seen a ghost.
Oh, boy.
Oh, no!
So as nearly as I can tell,
when Slimer touched the machine,
his ectoplasm shorted out a circuit,
fused it and our minds were exchanged.
So all we have to do is
figure out which circuit
so we can reverse the process.
Yes, and soon.
Before Slimer eats my body
into a butterball coma.
That's really disgusting.
Yummy!
Great, more trouble.
Let's go.
The banister, Slimer! The banister!
Remember that's my body
you're slamming around.
OK, sorry.
OK, guys. It's showtime!
Haunting at 23rd and Lex.
Sounds like more of the same.
So, the Master of Shadows
wants to play rough, eh?
OK, Egon,
you stay here and figure out
how to pull yourself together.
We'll handle this ourselves.
Oh, Janine,
keep an eye on old Slimer here.
Don't let him do anything
Egon will regret later.
Better get to work. Let's see
If the cybernetic units
were accidentally crossed
with the cerebral pathways
Keep you happy and quiet, huh?
Well, here's a start.
Have a cookie, Slimer.
Cookie!
Mmm, nice!
Come on, will you stand still?
No good, Peter.
They're going too fast for us
to get a beat on them.
Hardly seems fair, does it?
Got it. Look, I'll head over
to the other side of the rink.
We'll get them in the crossfire.
We can't miss that way.
Winston, look out!
What?
This isThis is awful.
Look at it, Peter. It'sIt's horrible.
It's tortureIt's
It's roller derby.
Right, but we can't fire
or we might hit Winston.
You won't have to.
Looks like all that roller derby
I watched as a kid,
is going to pay off.
Winston!
Go faster, faster!
Get ahead of the pack!
Easy for you to say.
OK, now what?
Shoot the skates! Shoot the skates!
Easy for you to say!
Whoa!
Now! Fire!
Got them. The trap, fast!
Where is the bright one?
Where is Egon Spengler?
Is he too frightened to come?
Nah. You're strictly small time.
HeHe had to, uh, mail a letter.
Do not jest with me.
If he is not ready and present
at the appointed time,
I will be disappointed.
And I will destroy
your pitiful city!
Minus the square root of the hypotenuse
considering the analysis of co-variants
Oh, no, that's not it.
My life is over.
Egon.
You know, it never ceases to amaze me,
what a mess this place is.
I mean, just look at that
ugly green smear on the wall.
Thanks, Peter, you're a real comfort.
There's got to be
an easier way to do this.
Well, at least now
you know what it's like.
So, did you figure it out yet, Egon?
Yeah, how much longer
till you're back to normal?
Normal being a fairly
relative term in your case of course.
Ignoring that last remark,
the equations are all done.
And I think I know
which circuit needs to be rewired.
Ray, I'll need you for that.
Why? Look, Egon,
you wired the circuit,
can't you rewire it?
I mean you take Ray
and that'll leave just Winston and me.
Peter, it's impossible to do delicate work
with ectoplasm covered hands.
OK, OK, I take it back.
Don't worry about being shorthanded.
I'll come with you while Ray works.
You've been awfully quiet, Janine.
It's nothing, Egon.
I'm just realizing
it really is your mind I like.
Do you have any idea
what she's talking about?
I don't know.
OK, guys. Carry on the war.
I've got me a date with a machine.
WhoWhat are you?
I'm a scientist.
Hey, you're a slime ball.
I'm starting to take this very personally.
Ooh, candy, mmm, want candy, yum yum. I
WhatWhat am I saying?
Oh, I've got to get out of Slimer, fast.
Got you. All right, you bunch ofOf
Hooligans. Take this.
Whoa! Hey! Hey!
Egon?
Hey, watch where you point that thing.
I'm trying!
Egon?
Hey, Egon, you OK?
Oh, my
I sure hope Ray's fixing that machine.
I think old Egon here's
getting more like Slimer every minute.
Don't worry. If anybody can do this
with his hands tied
behind his back, it's Ray.
So, hear you are.
Oh, boy. Better let me
do the talking, uh, Egon.
You are up to something, Egon Spengler.
So, I have decided
to move our appointment up.
To right now!
Now wait a minute. That's not fair.
I care nothing for fair.
I'm here to win! And I shall.
Meet me at the appointed place now,
or I will destroy the city.
Don't listen to him, Slimer.
Just wait right here, OK.
Meet me at the appointed place now,
or I will destroy the city.
Oh, no!
Hello, guys, this is Ray. Come in.
Peter, Winston, Egon, anybody.
This is Ray. I repeat. This is Ray.
Very good, Ray,
you know your name.
Now if you can write it
you win a gold star.
Oh, boy, am I glad to hear you.
-We've got trouble guys.
-Hey, it's Slimer.
I mean Egon. I mean look!
Make that big trouble, guys.
Big, big trouble!
Did you finish rewiring the device, Ray?
I think so.
As long as Slimer's
within a 20 yard radius,
it'll work, I think.
Good, IHmm
Does this belong to anybody?
Egon, that thing hasn't
belonged to anybody
since dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
You know, it's curious,
but in Slimer's body,
everything tastes like chicken.
Not bad really. Have some?
Let's find Slimer, guys,
or little Petey here's going to throw up.
So, you have come.
Alone, as I requested. Good.
Now we can see which of us
is truly the superior intellect.
Well, you were so brave before.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Me?
I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that.
Say something!
What! You dare mock me!
We've got to do something
before he kills Slimer.
EgonWhoever.
I'll distract him.
You get my body back here
and hook it up. Now!
And now, to finish the job.
Hey, mush for brains. Over here.
What!
Not real bright, are you?
I'm the one you want, remember?
YourYour voice is the same.
But no, it cannot be.
Brain too small to grasp
the possibilities, eh?
Whoever you are,
you cannot speak to me in that fashion!
No? Boy, you are deaf. I just did.
Enough! WhoeverWhatever you are,
no one mocks the Master of Shadows!
Take this!
Can't hit a moving target, can you?
Not so much fun, is it?
Come on, keep at it.
Maybe you'll get lucky.
-You ready?
-As ready as it gets.
Here goes nothing.
It's doing it, it's working.
So, at last I have you.
Now you will die, Egon Spengler.
Hey! Tin head, over here.
Surprise!
What isWhat's thatWhat
Oh, boy.
But, I don't
I don't understand this
Exactly!
You're too slow
to keep up with us and dodge the beams.
And that's why you lose.
No! It's not fair! It's not fair!
All right! Nobody outsmarts our Egon.
-All right, way to go!
-Oh, great.
Wonderful.
I have to hand it to you, Ray.
I never thought you'd get that machine
put back together in time.
Yeah, all those wires,
so little time.
How can you be sure
you got all the connections right?
Oh, instinct, I guess.
You just know it in your
I won't mention it if you don't.
-Deal.
-Deal.
OK Slimer, they're gone. Good work.
Yum yum.