The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s05e06 Episode Script

1
[Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[Slimer screaming]
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm ringing]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
[exclaiming]
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
- [growling]
- [screaming]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[screaming]
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters.
[Slimer] Yeah!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
[screaming]
[maniacal laughter]
- [siren blaring]
- Huh?
[shrieks]
[Ray] Hey, hey! Check it out, guys!
My favorite show Muffy and the Meatheads.
Can't we wait for a commercial break?
Ray, come on, man, we've got a job to do.
[screeching]
Yuck.
[growling]
[blows raspberry]
[shattering]
He's a speedy little stinker.
[snarling]
Hey! Careful, you guys.
[Peter] Sorry, Spud.
Let's get serious and bag this gooper.
I'm missing my TV show.
[growls]
- [growling]
- [Ray] I got it! I got it!
[Egon] Winston, the trap.
[screams]
[Peter] What a grosso.
Man, they are getting
uglier and uglier, aren't they, Ray?
Well, this one's going to take
a long beauty sleep now.
Nice shooting, Ray.
- [monster roars on TV]
- Ray?
[Ray] All right!
Godzilla Goes to Hollywood.
Oh, my! I hope I'm insured for ghosts.
No biggie, sir.
A little paint here and there
will do wonders.
Now, about our fee.
Listen
How's about I give you
something better than money?
Like?
This little baby here is top of the line.
It's got your stereo synthesizer.
A modulizer,
digital audio tracking transceiver
and 60 channel AMF
and fiber optics solid state.
Sorry, but--
- We'll take that.
- We'll take it.
Sold.
You realize what this means, Spud?
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
What it means is
we just got aced out
of this week's grocery money
in exchange for a year's supply
of canned laughter.
No, no, no, no, no.
It means we get to watch
tonight's classic late movie in stereo.
The Incredible Radioactive Turbo
from Outer Space.
[Slimer mumbling excitedly]
[electricity buzzing]
[screams]
[TV remote clicks]
Aren't you going to crash, Ray?
- [laughter on TV]
- No.
I want to watch our new TV.
This movie is a classic.
[scoffs] You're the classic.
Good night, pal.
[dramatic music playing on TV]
[woman on TV] Dr. Proctor, we're doomed.
[man 1 on TV] Pull yourself together, Fay.
I know how to stop the giant gerbil.
First, we build this really humongous
exercise wheel.
[Ray through TV] Peter, I am telling you,
we're going to get drenched.
[Peter through TV]
Ray, nobody's used this place in 10 years.
[snoring] Huh?
The pipes in here are so dry,
the termites carry canteens.
Peter?
[Egon] I am getting
strong readings in here.
[PKE meter beeping]
There he is.
Incoming!
[all] Whoa!
Wow!
Incredible!
Guys!
Guys, you won't believe what's on TV.
Who cares?
Pipe down, man.
Yeah, pipe down, man.
[Egon] We are trying to sleep, Ray.
[grumbles and sighs]
[man 1 on TV] Don't look, Fay.
A 20 ton dead gerbil
is not a pretty sight.
What?
[siren wailing]
Oh, I know I saw it.
[Egon] You have to cut back
on the TV time, Ray.
You are starting
to lose touch with reality.
But it was real! I saw it.
We were all there.
And you were the scarecrow
and you were the tin man.
Face it, Ray. You fell asleep
in front of the tube and had a bad dream.
Oh, Ray.
Yuck!
You look like a manhole cover, Spud.
[groans]
Got a call, guys.
A free-repeating phantasm
is loose on the East Side
in an abandoned warehouse.
Did you say an abandoned warehouse?
[tires screeching]
Expecting rain, Ray?
I am telling you.
This is exactly the warehouse I saw on TV.
- We're going to get drenched.
- Not me.
[Peter] Ray, nobody's used
this place in 100 years.
The pipes are so dry,
the termites carry canteens.
That is exactly what you said last night.
[maniacal laughter]
[screams]
[evil laughter]
I got him!
[creaking]
[screams]
[all cough]
Did I call it or did I call it?
[Egon] An amazing coincidence.
[exhales]
But only coincidence, it proves nothing.
Sorry, Ray.
I believe you, Ray.
Time check.
1:00 a.m.
Roger. Time for the late movie.
[chomping]
[slurps]
[burps]
Oh, I am sorry.
[announcer through TV]
Tonight's feature, Bowling alley of blood
will begin after these messages.
[music playing on TV]
[woman screams on TV]
[yawns]
[TV show music playing]
[indistinct talking on TV]
[woman on TV]
Michael, put down that bowling ball.
[maniacal laughter]
[growling]
Slimer, this is it.
[grunts]
Whoa!
Uh-oh.
[screams]
Awesome.
[static]
[Winston] Uh-oh.
[Egon] Hey, how do you stop this thing?
- [Ray] Oh, come on.
- [Peter] Whoa, horsey.
- All right.
- All right!
We got it on tape, Spud.
Yeah, yeah! On tape!
- [snoring]
- [door opens]
Not again.
Guys, guys, guess what we saw on TV?
[Peter and Winston] Quiet.
Now do you believe me?
OK, how did you do it, Ray?
Celebrity lookalikes?
I didn't do it. It's real!
Yeah. Real, real!
I believe you, man.
So do I.
And I would say that this is the culprit.
You mean our new TV is haunted?
[groans]
Egon, you're supposed to unplug it first.
It was unplugged.
[alarm rings]
Hop to it, guys!
Some Class-4s are loose
at the maritime museum.
Maritime museum?
Like where they have
a lot of old sailing ships?
Old pirate sailing ships?
Exactly.
Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah!
Is it? It is.
[Peter] Then let's move.
[sirens blaring]
Fry 'em!
Ray! Ray! Look!
[all scream]
[Winston] So, what happens next, Ray?
Now?
[grunts]
Now we remake Captain Blood.
Avast, ye swabs!
Avast yourself, matey.
Argh!
[shrieks]
Uh-oh.
Looks like we got 'em all.
No, there's one more.
Argh!
He's mine.
Careful of the
- mast.
- [Ray] Oops.
We did it.
Now let's take this puppy home.
How Ray? The rudder's useless.
[Peter] Hey, look on the bright side.
We're alive, the traps are full,
and the Coast Guard
will be here in no time.
No problemo.
[fog horn blaring]
- What was that?
- Hey. What is that?
[all screams]
[all screaming]
[screams]
Any brilliant ideas?
We are about to become otter chow.
Yeah. Get to the stern, quick.
What's a stern?
You know, opposite of the bow.
Isn't the opposite of the bow, a curtsy?
Gentlemen, we are dealing
in nautical terms here.
Port, starboard, poop deck.
Poop deck?
We won't even get into that one, OK?
[fog horn blowing]
Come on, come on. Hustle.
Just follow me.
Fire into the water. Go. Go!
[Winston] Hold your fire.
[screams]
Wow!
Phew.
Man, that was a little too close.
Hold on, we still have
to get by the propellers.
Whoa!
[Peter mumbles]
[Peter] Can we go home now? Please.
Just as I suspected.
This set is hot.
Hmm. If it is still hot,
how come it didn't warn us
about that tanker.
Maybe it didn't want us to know about that
until it was too late.
That's it. Give me that set.
It's out of here.
Sorry, Peter.
It's important
that I study this more closely.
That's good, Slimer.
Nothing there.
So that's where my keys went.
Sorry, Peter.
[alarm buzzing]
Sonic profile is normal.
Seems like everything is normal.
So far.
Now, I'll check the brainwaves.
Brainwaves? From a TV set?
Well, what does intelligence
have to do with television?
See for yourself.
Incredible!
The EEG indicates high brain activity.
High. That thing's smarter than I am.
Better have a look at this.
I'll tell you one thing,
It didn't come out
of the factory this way.
Fusion. It's growing like
a supernatural fungus.
Terrific. Our TV has Ecto athlete's foot.
Time for Dr. Venkman's miracle cure.
No way!
This is the greatest
scientific discovery in history.
This TV set can see into the future.
Our very own electronic crystal ball.
Think of the possibilities.
Ray is right.
This is a window into our future.
Great, no more blind dates.
Hey, let's plug it in
and see what's going to happen next.
Hmm, nothing yet.
[yawns] Keep looking. Keep looking.
Oh, wow!
What's that? A prediction.
I really love this show.
Ray, we are trying
to do science stuff here.
Hey, that's me, that's me!
[Ray] And that's our roof!
[thunder clapping]
What are we doing up there?
Huh?
A roof is no place to be
in a lightning storm.
[wailing]
Uh-oh.
[all screaming]
[thunder clapping]
[Ray] What happened?
Yeah, what's it mean? The end?
I think we just witnessed
our own deaths.
Oh.
[crying]
Well, the good news
is we can see the future,
but the bad news is
it's going to be real short.
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh?
He said "uh-oh."
I hate when says that.
You mean we have been sitting here
all this time staring at an omelet?
[thunder clapping]
A rainstorm, just as the TV showed.
Hmm. A flooded warehouse,
pirates at sea, and now rain.
All three predictions involve water.
And blue is the universal color of water.
Gentlemen, I think we are dealing
with a water elemental.
Of course!
Of course what?
Elementals were ancient spirits
like powerful genies.
They represented the four elements.
Earth, Air, Fire, and Water!
Yeah, people used to think Elementals
caused things like fires,
earthquakes, and hurricanes.
But, that's all superstition.
Well, this is obviously real.
What happens if it hatches?
The results could be devastating
to the entire city.
Let's get this to the containment.
[Egon] Hurry.
Yeah, before something else happens.
[thunder crashing]
[Ray] Oh, God.
- [alarm blaring]
- [Egon] Who turned off the lights?
The containment.
The emergency generator
will handle it for a while.
But now, we can't use the containment.
The trap lock drains too much power.
Then we'll have to take this to the roof.
What? Egon, you saw the prediction.
You know what's going to happen
if we go up there?
I know what's going to happen
to this entire city if we don't.
[thunder crashing]
Hang on!
[gasps]
What's the plan, Egon?
Please tell me there's a plan.
[Egon] Help me move it
to the tallest antenna.
According to the legends,
water and fire are mortal enemies.
This is a water elemental
and lightning is fire.
You mean, we got to fry this egg?
Yes.
Run!
Whoa!
What happened?
The lightning didn't hurt it.
I don't know.
Uh-oh.
[growling]
[growling]
The lightning rod!
It carried away the charge!
Shoot it, hurry!
Ghostbusters ♪
Everybody, down.
[screams]
Hit the deck!
[shrieks]
[growling]
Ghostbusters ♪
All right!
Well, guys, looks like the future
is now history.
Now explain to me again
why we're still alive, Egon.
Because the water Elemental
thought he was safe on the tower.
That was the future he showed us.
But when I zapped the lightning rod,
it changed the future.
Yes, you made him the target.
The lightning hit him and poof
no more water Elemental.
Good call, Ray.
Yeah, Ray. Smooth move man.
How'd you know to do that?
Well, I, uh, I saw it on TV once.
Here, partner,
we still have one good set left.
From now on, you watch whatever you want.
Thanks guys, but I think I'd rather
just read a book tonight.
Yeah. Read a book.
"It was a dark and stormy night."
Uh, another book.
"Once upon a time"
Oh, that's nice.
"On a warm and sunny day"
"In a far off land way, way, way, away."
[closing theme song playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪