The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s05e09 Episode Script

The Halloween Door

[Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm ringing]
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[Ray] So, what are you doing
for Halloween, Peter?
Well, after a gig at the Junior High
this afternoon,
I'm taking Lynn Stacy to a party
at Donald Trump's place.
The quintuple billionaire?
The same. I think he wants to talk to me
about buying the afterlife.
How about you?
Well, we're all going trick-or-treating.
We thought maybe you'd like to come along.
Even Slimer's going.
He's been working all week on a costume.
Made it himself.
Wait a minute.
Slimer's a ghost, right?
I mean, most people dress up as ghosts
for Halloween, right?
So, what's Slimer going as?
[Ray] He says it's something really scary.
You think this will go with green?
Yes, boss.
Don't move.
[Peter through Slimer costume]
[screams] Ugh.
I have been, like, Slimed.
Yes! Five years I've waited to do that.
Five long years!
I'm Lynn Stacy.
I'm supposed to meet Peter here.
Oh, yeah.
He was here a second ago.
I'll get him.
Yo, babe.
Hi, Petey.
I'm not that kind of girl.
What did I say? What did I do? Wait!
I love you!
WhyWe've hardly met.
No, I was, uhShe, uh
Oh, boy.
Never mind. Come on in.
This isn'tYou didn't.
You couldn't, Slimer, you're dead!
Ah, good observation, Peter.
You know, there are times I think
life is one big bullet with my name on it.
[all] You want us to do what?
I want you to help me
get rid of Halloween
- [all gasp]
- once and for all.
Yeah, that's what I thought you said.
Well, I think I'll just go
lie down for a little while.
Surely you don't like monsters
and ghosts and such.
No, absolutely not.
We don't like ghosts at all.
Well, not as a general rule.
But that's got nothing
to do with Halloween.
That's an important day.
We all like Halloween.
There's nothing wrong with it.
Nothing wrong with kids
dressing up as ghosts,
and monsters and demons?
Letting their imaginations run rampant?
Nothing wrong with that I ask you.
So, who asked you?
I tell you, Halloween is a menace.
It must be stopped.
That's why I've come to you for help.
I am the chairman
of Citizen's United Against Halloween
and lots of other stuff we don't like.
Well, not to pry.
I mean, I'm just an accountant
and by the way,
you probably paid too much for that suit.
But what's all this
other stuff you're against?
[Dr. Crowley] All comics, most television,
toys, many books, but mostly,
It's fantasy. Not good for kids at all.
It serves no purpose.
Magic, mystery
They're important.
Halloween is part of a tradition
that goes back centuries.
According to legend
Forgot to mention,
we're against legends too.
Also, books about legends.
They're not healthy.
- Hey!
- No, Mr. Crowley,
eating too many candy bars
isn't good for you either.
Candy bars?
[Ray] Uh, yeah, Egon, that's right.
It's especially not healthy
to hide them like that.
[Slimer mumbles]
It's in his socks, Slimer.
- [mumbles]
- No! Get away!
No, we don't have any candy.
No, get away.
For the record, interpret this as a no.
Halloween. What did it ever do for us?
- Well, I'll show them.
- Yes, Dr. Crowley.
We have my machine. It's all ready?
Yes, Dr. Crowley.
Except the part
we needed from the Ghostbusters.
Oh, that's right.
We needed their PKE Meter
to help focus the machine, didn't we?
Don't worry.
While they were talking to you,
no one noticed me pick up this.
You stole this, didn't you?
Yes, Dr. Crowley.
Stealing isn't good.
But we need it.
So much for that moral dilemma.
Yes, Dr. Crowley.
Trick or treat!
In your face.
[Peter] OK, everybody, next question.
Hands up.
Who thinks of trick or treat
when you think of Halloween?
- [cheering]
- All right.
How many of you
know where that comes from?
Let me answer that.
- Egon.
- [clears throat]
2,000 years ago,
October 31st was the end of the old year.
And the ancient Celtic priest,
called Druids, held a celebration.
[all gasping]
It was the birth of the festival
we now call Halloween.
- It was
- It was a party!
[eerie music playing]
When the sun goes down
And the night grows cold ♪
And the wind is whistling
through the trees ♪
It's a celebration ♪
Running through the nation ♪
Dancing and rocking on Halloween ♪
Can you feel the magic moving? ♪
See the moon shining bright ♪
There's thunder in the streets ♪
Wonder in the shadows ♪
We gonna be rocking all the night ♪
Touching old magic ♪
Touching old magic ♪
Touching old magic ♪
We call it Halloween ♪
Take the stars in your hand ♪
Don't be afraid of the night ♪
Tell the old familiar stories ♪
Mystery burning bright ♪
Let the magic shine inside you ♪
Let the darkness have no hold ♪
Let the innocence survive ♪
Let the wonder serve to make you bold ♪
Touching old magic ♪
Touching old magic ♪
Touching old magic ♪
We call it Halloween ♪
[Ray] What do we call it?
[Egon] I believe we're calling it
Halloween this year, Ray.
I hate Halloween.
Even now it's starting.
Children are putting
on their fright masks,
getting ready to go trick-or-treating.
Well, not tonight.
Tonight, everything changes.
Tell me it's ready, Fairweather.
Give me my Electronic Positronic
Anti-Halloween Machine.
Everything's ready, Dr. Crowley.
All systems are go.
Take this, Halloween!
Fairweather, you're positively poetic.
Those signs have got to go.
Not good for you, you know,
don't like jack-o'- lanterns.
I say pumpkins shouldn't smile.
Smash it, bash it, crash them.
From the East Side to the Nile.
[children] Trick or treat!
[Dr. Crowley] We'll have
no trick-or-treating. Not tonight.
Get rid of those clothes, that candy.
You'll be a sight.
It's the Electronic Positronic
Anti-Halloween Machine.
And if you think I'm being mean
[Dr. Crowley laughs]
you ain't seen nothing yet.
Guys! What's happening?
Egon, my lady asked a question.
What's happening is trouble.
Major, major trouble.
Oh, I feel so much better now.
[Dr. Crowley]
Say goodbye to scary stories.
Goodbye to haunted houses.
Goodbye to Irving, Burn and Poe!
Goodbye, Dickens, Shelley and Woe.
Goodbye, Mr. Bradbury.
Try not to take it personally.
[evil laughter]
See, Fairweather. Not a Halloween sound.
Quiet as a test tube, eh, Fairweather?
What the
[evil laughter]
What is it? What? What's happening?
What's happening!
Just what we were hoping for.
[evil laughter]
Get away!
Why are you tormenting me?
You work for me, remember?
We used you and your machine.
It was easy preying on people's fears.
We needed a mortal
to open the door to the other side,
and you were the one.
All of this is your doing.
We couldn't have done it
without your help.
You forgot the first rule of fanatics.
When you become obsessed with the enemy,
you become the enemy.
Oh, no!
- [Peter] Back off, creeps!
- [screams]
Hold 'em steady!
All right, Winston, now!
Thank goodness you showed up.
Those things, they're everywhere.
We know. Believe me, we know.
Why, isn't there anything we can do?
Stay inside.
Lock the door
and don't come out until it's over.
If it's ever over.
So, you're saying this is like,
uh, bad, right?
I'm saying we're doomed.
That counts.
[Ray] Still, we can't just give up.
If we only knew what caused all this.
I have a theory,
though I'd rather not say until I'm sure.
No! [grunts]
What? What's that!
My boss and yours.
[evil laughter]
We've hit the big time ♪
It's time again and we're feeling fine ♪
It's our world ♪
You know you better believe it ♪
So look around, look around
Look around, look around ♪
Hold on ♪
Time for destruction ♪
Hold on ♪
For your instruction ♪
It's all gonna change now ♪
That Boogaloo is back in town ♪
[people screaming]
OK, you little kids, get this ♪
Everything you see destroyed ♪
The world is just a toy ♪
Let the sky explode ♪
The night winds are blowin' cold ♪
I want to pulverize, disseminate ♪
And if it stands, annihilate ♪
I want to raise, smash, crash, break ♪
Oh, it's fun to devastate ♪
Now that the wait time is done ♪
Look at the havoc you've created
But we've won ♪
It took 2,000 years ♪
But Boogaloo is back in town ♪
Yeah, Boogaloo's back in town ♪
Get up ♪
OK, listen to this ♪
You say we don't get it ♪
How can people still forget it? ♪
But thanks for all of your assistance ♪
Nothing pays off like persistence ♪
Everything you see destroyed ♪
The world is just a toy ♪
Let the sky explode ♪
The night winds are blowin' cold ♪
I want to pulverize, disseminate ♪
And if it stands, annihilate ♪
I'm gonna raise, smash, crash, break ♪
Oh, it's fun to devastate ♪
Hold on ♪
Time for destruction ♪
Hold on ♪
For your instruction ♪
It's all gonna change now ♪
That Boogaloo is back in town ♪
He's back in town ♪
Boogaloo ♪
Boogaloo is back in town ♪
[man on TV]
Ghosts coming in from all over.
The President has declared
a state of national emergency.
Do notRepeat, do not go outside.
We are now in charge.
The Halloween deal has been broken.
So now, we're back to stay.
Get used to the idea, everybody,
it's going to be fun, fun, fun!
So long for now and have a swell day.
I knew it. I was right.
Yeah, you really should stand 10 feet back
when you watch TV.
Wait a minute. You mentioned something
about a Halloween deal, right?
Yes, 2,000 years ago,
the Earth was infested by demons.
But the druids struck a deal.
The worst of the demons
would go off to the Netherworld
on one condition.
Let me guess.
They wanted us to remember them.
But now Halloween is gone.
[Winston] Our old friend, Crowley.
[Egon] Precisely.
You saw how he made everything
to do with Halloween just vanish.
Yeah, I'd say that constitutes
breach of contract.
[Egon] If we don't restore Halloween,
and send these creatures
back where they came from before midnight,
the contract is broken permanently.
Then we'll never get rid of them.
What time is it now?
- 11:30.
- Oh, boy.
Wait a minute.
If all these things have come through,
and they're partying
and getting together like we've seen,
then wouldn't they want to
break out all their buddies?
The Containment System!
[evil laughter]
Nobody gets past us.
Hang on!
Oh, no!
- Watch it!
- [screams]
I've only heard it once before.
But that sounds like
a Containment Unit exploding.
[Winston] Oh, man.
Hey, it could be worse. What?
[all] Whoa!
[evil laughter]
OK, so, Firehouse is gone,
Ecto-1's been destroyed.
We're out of ghost traps.
And we've only got another 10 minutes
of power left in our packs.
Egon, you got a plan?
Not a one.
[Peter] I do.
These things came through a door.
We got to find it and close it.
- Egon?
- [PKE meter beeping]
That way. The Times Square.
The place is crawling with them.
Then that's where we have to go.
- He's nuts, you know.
- Yes, I know.
Hey, heck.
Somebody's got to keep an eye on them.
[all yelling]
Come on!
OK, who brought the dips and chips?
[Boogaloo growling]
You looking for me, flash heads?
Help! Over here!
Help! Over here!
I'm sorry I stole your PKE Meter.
Peter, if we can get to the machine,
we might be able to reverse it
and restore Halloween.
Uh, yeah, that's pretty close to my plan.
Go for it,
Ray and I will distract him.
Hey, Boogaloo.
You're ugly and your mother
dresses you funny.
That's cute.
I hate cute.
- Uh-oh.
- My turn.
[both] Whoa!
How come we don't
get to distract these things?
How come they're always shooting at us?
It's in your contract, Ray.
This has got to be it. Hit it!
[both grunt]
[Dr. Crowley] They broke it.
Even if we had the time,
I couldn't put it back together.
Now we're doomed.
[both] Whoa!
- [Peter] RayRay?
- Peter?
II can see your house from here.
Where's Egon?
- [groans]
- It's busted all right.
We've had it.
Ghostbusters! My name's Irma,
I live next door.
Let me help you guys. Let's get 'em!
No way. Look, it's dangerous out here.
I'm not afraid.
That's not the point.
No, wait. That is the point.
That's exactly the point.
Almost midnight.
In two minutes,
the promise humans made to honor Halloween
will be forever broken.
And we'll be here to stay.
[Egon] Not yet!
You forgot a little something.
We have one last weapon.
A child?
[evil laughter]
And what do you want?
Trick or treat!
[Irma laughs]
You're funny.
Wha-Wha-What's wrong with you?
Aren't you afraid of me?
Thought we'd forgotten
about that, hadn't you?
Halloween is more than pumpkins,
black cats and trick-or-treating.
It's about kids rediscovering wonder.
That's why we play monsters.
So, we won't be afraid
of monsters anymore.
We take back the night once a year
because it belongs to the children.
They know the Halloween lesson.
If you're not afraid, it can't hurt you.
You wanted to see Halloween?
You wanted proof that we remembered?
Don't look in stores,
or pumpkin fields or bags of candy.
Look right here.
[Irma] Tell me a Halloween story.
[clock chimes]
Halloween's still here, alive and well.
So, don't you think
it's about time you split?
We got a contract, remember?
As we like to say here in the Big Apple,
"Beat it, slime head."
No! No!
[all] Whoa!
What? What happened?
[all talking indistinctly]
Peter, what time is it? It's, uh
It's 8:00. We got the evening back.
Hey, I got to go
'cause my dad's taking
me trick-or-treating.
Well, I guess we earned the right
to do it all over again.
And we're going to do it right this time.
Aren't we, Mr. Crowley?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
None of this was my fault at all.
It just proves my point.
Why, I bet I'll double
my contributions after this.
And I'll try again and next time I'll
The perfect beginning
to the perfect night, eh, guys?
Yeah, Winston. You got that right.
So, who's up for a little
I mean, the night's young,
magic's in the air.
We've already got the costumes.
You got it!
And me! And me!
[closing theme song playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
There's something strange ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
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