The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s06e05 Episode Script

Mean Green Teen Machine

["Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm blaring]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[siren blaring]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
What the
[all] We're mean! We're green!
We're on the scene! ♪
We're the Mean Green Teen Machine! ♪
There it is, dudes.
Our dream vacation spot.
New York, the Big Pizza!
I'm fully ready for some New York pizza.
Pizza? We're gonna eat
tons of pizza, right?
Oh, most definitely, dudes!
[all] [chanting] Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!
Hey, check it out.
One bodacious babe in the Bay.
But like, she's so solemn.
No problem. Let's cheer her up!
[all cheering]
Later, babe! We'll party! Ow!
Now, let's bust some pizza!
[all] [chanting] Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!
Gentlemen, my latest invention.
Yeah, can I keep it?
Sorry, Slimer, but this
is an alpha wave generator.
Huh? Ugh.
This device will allow a person to program
his alpha brain waves
during the sleep state.
Are you saying that with this gizmo,
we can control our dreams?
Correct, Ray. The body needs its rest.
The mind needs its recreation.
With this machine, you can
do both simultaneously.
For instance, while sound asleep,
I can review from memory
an entire textbook on quantum physics.
[chuckles] Now, I know that's
my idea of a good time.
Follow me and I'll show you how it works.
The headset picks up your neural impulses
and the machine generates
the dream images you desire.
At the moment, we're set on observer mode.
We'll get to see Peter's dream.
Hey, we're getting a picture.
Isn't that Peter in a Pac-Man suit?
And that's Kim Basinger!
Ah! Eh, ewmushy!
I, ahem, think we've seen enough.
[shuts off]
Oh, come on, Kim.
Oh, don't leave! We're both Scorpios!
- [bell ringing]
- [yawns]
Hi, guys. What's up?
[giggling] Peter.
We've got a call, caped crusader.
But I was right in the middle
of a sensational dream.
- Yeah.
- You sure were.
[all clamoring]
- [alarm blaring]
- [tires screeching]
[all whooping]
Surfer, three o'clock!
Think it's funny, huh, pizza face?
Eat some of this!
All right, bogus, dude!
Wow! These guys are quick.
Nothing like getting paid in advance.
These dweebs have no sense of humor.
Let's buck, dudes!
[Ray] Who are those ghosts?
I don't know, but they've got moves
I've never seen before.
They're punks! And someday,
our pizzas will cross again.
Next time, can we hold the anchovies?
Uh, yes, madam, that's right.
10 large pepperoni pizzas
delivered to 30 Midtown Center.
And bust it, dude!
Who's next?
Don Corleone Pizza.
"We make a crust you can't refuse."
[car horns honking]
What's with this traffic?
Don't these people have homes?
Mmm, yummy! I smell pizza!
Don't even mention the word, spud.
Yeah! Yeah! Pizza!
- Hey!
- [all shouting]
[blows raspberry]
[shouting continues]
Come back with my pizza, hey!
The pizza ghosts!
- Where?
- [thud]
Come back here!
Come on, let's have
these bozos for breakfast!
[cars honking]
- [zapping]
- [groaning]
I'm starting to hate these guys.
Hey, cheesehead! Here's one to go.
- [zapping]
- Dudes! We're outta here!
What is their problem, anyway?
Who cares?
There's places to go, pizza to eat.
[all] [chanting] Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!
[Ray] Save it, Peter.
They're out of range.
[car horn honking]
We're gonna get those
little pepperoni-heads
if it's the last thing we ever do!
[chanting] Busters! Busters! Busters!
[Peter] Pizza!
Get your world's greatest pizza!
Tutsy fruitsy pizza, boss.
I hope they show up soon, Peter.
You're making me very hungry.
Me too!
I mean, uh[makes cooing noises]
Hey, I don't know about this, Egon.
Remember what happened
the last time we dug up the street?
It was an honest mistake, Winston.
They had the subway system
pumped out within a few days.
Besides, it washed out all the graffiti.
Yeah, along with all the walls
it was written on.
Huh? Heads up, guys!
Green goobers at 12 o'clock!
Sorry, folks. We're closed.
Wait! Wait for me!
[babies crying]
Come and get it, dudes!
Come and get this, lizard breath.
Bummer! Those grouchy geeks again.
- [zapping]
- [yelling]
Whoo-ee! Smoking buns, man!
Guggenheim! Help!
[Slimer] We got one! We got one!
- Ah.
- Ow!
Wait for me!
Come on, guys, they're getting away!
Yeah, come on!
- Earth to Peter, they're long gone, man.
- Oh, my God!
What are we gonna do, Guggenheim?
Those nowhere nerds are
ruining all our fun.
I say we teach them that nobody messes
with the Mean Green Teen Machine!
Check it out!
[Guggenheim] [chuckles]
That's them all right.
Let's follow them!
Yeah! They gotta put
those bun burners down sometime!
And when they do, pow!
Oh, what a day.
Those slime surfers wore me out.
A suggestion, Ray.
By custom tailoring your dream state
with my alpha wave generator,
you can wake up tomorrow
twice as refreshed.
- Whoa! That's for me!
- [beeping]
If it helps us
nail those pizzaheads, I'm all for it.
- Yeah, me too.
- [beeping]
Oh, boy.
Yum, yum, yum, yum.
Perfect. They're asleep.
Pound 'em!
Whoa, bro!
First, we scope out the situation, right?
Then we pound 'em!
Gnarly, he's all like,
shrunk up inside this gizmo.
How's he do that?
Shh! He's dreaming. They're all dreaming.
But we're gonna be their worst nightmares.
Come on!
Oh, yeah.
- Uh-oh. Guys? Guys! Wake up!
- [snoring]
- Wake up, come on, Egon!
- [snoring]
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Guys! Wake up! Wake up!
Peter! Please!
Oh. This makes me crazy!
[TV host]
It's time again for Wheel of Pizza!
[audience applauding]
Thank you, thank you.
And here's our returning champion,
Peter Venkman!
Thanks, Axel. I'll take, uh,
famous pizzas for five big ones.
OK, here we go.
These three ghosts would eat anything
that looked like a pizza.
UhWho are the Mean Green Teen Machine?
That's absolutely right!
- [fanfare]
- Yes! All right.
How did I know that?
[Guggenheim] You tell me!
It's your dream, dude.
And now, my lovely assistants
will show you what you've won!
Yuck! Oh, no! Hey!
Cut it out! I get carsick!
We hope you've enjoyed
[all] Wheel of Pizza!
[laughing] Sweet dreams, dude.
One bozo down, three to go.
Peter! Oh, boy.
Ray! Wake up!
[yells like Tarzan]
[announcer] Ray of the rainforest!
Hey, guys! Get out here! Something's up!
Let's move it. The drums say
there's trouble at the river.
Oh, bother. There's always trouble.
One day it's the river.
The next it's poachers.
It's a jungle out there.
Jeez. So hard to get good help nowadays.
[yelling like Tarzan]
- Ahhh!
- [branches creaking]
The drums were right, my friends.
That's definitely trouble.
This dream's definitely
not going the way I planned.
No, it's going the way we planned
[gasps, yells]
[all laughing]
Pizza sauce.
That's two for the greensters.
[all laughing]
Oh, no!
Ray! Wake up!
[groaning in frustration]
Wake up!
[cymbals banging]
[trumpet blowing]
Steady as she goes, Mr. Doodad.
Aye, aye, Captain.
Captain's star notes,
inter-celestial star time is
- [banging]
- Whoa!
Captain, it's the evil pizzanutians
from the planet Pepperoni.
Put it on the screen, Mr. Doodad.
Starship Exercise,
in the name of the planet Pepperoni,
surrender now!
In other words, prepare for the big
[laughs] Wipeout!
Battle stations!
[steam hissing]
[all screaming]
Who rewrote my dream?
[all] Like, three guesses, dude!
[Slimer groaning]
[gasps] Oh, no!
Today, class, um
Ahem. Today, we are going
to explore the bloodstream.
Here we have a red corpuscle.
Cute, isn't it?
Go away now. Shoo.
The red corpuscles
are the prime ingredient in the blood.
Or, as my colleague Dr. Venkman calls it,
the red stuff.
- [class laughing]
- Thank you.
There are also
White corpuscles.
They attack all intruders
Excuse me.
Ahem. Besides the red
and white corpuscles, there are also
Pizza corpuscles?
And Mean Green corpuscles!
What are you doing in my dream?
Get real. This is no dream, bogus brain.
It's your worst nightmare!
[all laughing]
Guys! Guys!
- [electricity zapping]
- [yelling]
[Slimer laughing]
Ooh! Did I do that?
Hey. Another one.
How'd he get in here?
- Three to transport up, Mr. Doodad.
- Aye, aye, Captain.
- Huh?
- Thanks, Winston.
- You're here!
- You're bald.
Oh, yeah. Your dream machine
has a great makeup department.
But how'd those green goopers get in here?
And how come I can't wake up?
The alpha wave generator is calibrated
for five sleepers.
When those three ghosts got in,
they overloaded the circuits.
As long as they're loose in our dreams,
we stay asleep.
[TV host] Sorry, Doctor Venkman,
that's the wrong answer.
Relax! It's me, Ray.
Hey. What are you doing in my dream?
Your dream?
[TV host] Thanks for playing the game
and here's your consolation prize!
One hundred pizzas!
Yo, pizza lovers! You having fun yet?
Now, get ready for the chef's special!
- He's got a thrower!
- Run!
[Peter] Run on water?
Think solid ground.
This is a dream, remember?
Where are we going?
The country!
A sunny day.
I just wish we could find Egon.
[Peter] And Winston.
Oh! I can help! I can help!
- [electricity crackling]
- [Slimer gibbering]
Boy, are we glad to see you guys.
I have one question, Egon.
How do we get out of here?
Yeah. I want to be in my own bed.
My own jammies.
Perhaps we'd better get back in uniform.
Now, how do we wake up from this?
[Guggenheim] Yo! Party hardies!
Like, you dudes' dreams
are a pizza lover's paradise.
Long as you dream, we eat!
So we're all hanging right here forever!
They're our dreams, peanuthead, not yours!
All right.
So dream on this.
Hey! Lighten up, dude!
You are totally outclassed.
We're younger than you
Uh, we're faster than you.
And anything you can think of,
we can turn into pizza!
One thing I can't stand is a smug slug.
I got a cure for that.
Try my recipe, dude.
No, no, no.
Oh! Yuck.
[all] Mean Green Teen Machine!
[all laughing]
Beginner's luck, punk. Still feel lucky?
[all] [sarcastically] Ooh! Scared.
Forget it, Peter.
They're right. We can't win.
Hey! Now you're seeing it our way!
And to show that there
are no hard feelings,
just consider this our treat.
- Golly! Totally cool, man.
- All right.
[all] Excellent!
No! All I wanted was pizza!
How'd you do that?
They may be younger and faster
but we're smarter.
[all] [imitating Guggenheim]
All right, dude! Super, dude!
Hey, guys!
Surf's up!
[all] [imitating Guggenheim]
All right, yeah! Totally cool!
All right!
Guys! Guys! You're back!
Spud, you're one green guy
I'm glad to see.
Look at the time. It's almost noon!
Well, I don't know
about the rest of you, but I'm starved!
Likewise. What's your preference?
- Cheeseburger.
- Cheeseburger.
[Peter] [laughs] In your dreams, spud.
In your dreams.
[theme music playing]
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