The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s06e09 Episode Script

The Slob

["Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
[cat yelping]
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm blaring]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[siren blaring]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
[anchor] [on radio] It's another
steamy one in the Big Apple.
Mercury headed over 100-degrees.
Can you believe that? [sniggering]
And that's bad news for your nose, folks.
Because this is Day 10
of New York's latest garbage strike.
And I'm telling you people
it stinks out there.
- [buzzing]
- Hey, when is it all going to end?
[electricity crackling]
Guys, you just killed Janine's radio.
[sighs] Well, at least
we don't have to listen
to that DJ talking about
eating garbage anymore.
Flies, 26. Ghostbusters, 0.
- Flies win. Yay! Yay! Yay!
- [flies buzzing continues]
Who's side are you on, Spud?
Next thing we know,
you'd be putting out food for them.
Yeah! Yeah!
Excuse me.
[maniacal giggling]
Hey, Flyzie-wisey-wisey.
So cute.
Good idea, Slimer.
- Better there than on my face.
- [clicks]
[pounds] We wouldn't have any flies
if the windows were closed.
What a day for the air-conditioner
to break down.
- [blow dryer powers on]
- [yelps]
Janine sure picked
the right time to visit Alaska.
[Winston] [blows]
We haven't had a call all day.
It's even too hot for the ghosts.
[heavy breathing]
Yeah, too hot for ghosts.
Just as well.
Only a complete and utter fool
would go Ghostbusting in this heat.
Ah! What a perfect day to grab a ghost.
Now that I've finished
my patented Ghost-sucker,
I can finally capture that protozoic
low-life called Slimer.
And analyze him bit by cushy bit.
Right, Elizabeth?
Capturing that ectoplasmic slime ball
with my brilliant invention
will make me the toast
of the freelance scientific community!
- Oops.
- [whirring]
[gasps] My pet seems to be stuck.
I must have forgotten
to grease the joints.
Oh, there's no reason
to be upset, Elizabeth.
Mmm, my machine probably will rid you
of any little doggy vermin
hiding in your fur.
- Uh, stop! Oh!
- [tires screeching]
Get down, girl.
Hey, hey, I'm a scientist.
I'm not a chew toy, boy,
you precocious poodle!
Down, Elizabeth.
- Ugh, we're in here, Elizabeth.
- [clattering]
- [growling]
- No. [gulps]
But we must incorporate clever disguises.
So those feeble-minded
Ghostbusters don't get suspicious.
[chuckles] I'm word to
scientific immortality.
- Heal, Elizabeth.
- [growls]
[yelps] Ouch!
Mmm. Oh, mmm.
Must you take me so literally?
Ugh. Made it.
Whoa. What an entrance.
[fly buzzing]
I'm right where I wanted to be.
Is this perfect or what?
Boy, oh, boy.
What a boo-cat.
Nothing like New York City in the summer.
[all sighing]
[door bell buzzing]
I'll get it!
[sighs] I hope
it's the air-conditioning man.
I hope it's Frosty the Snowman.
[buzzing continues]
- [Slimer screams]
- Oh, hello Ghost-fellows.
I represent the big bibulator
vacuum cleaner company.
And you have been randomly selected
for a free demonstration.
[all] We don't want any.
Allow me to simulate a filthy hovel.
- Huh? What?
- [gasping]
Peter, that's Dweeb.
- You mean that second string scientist
- [incoherent]
who's always trying to snag you?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Here's of course
Guys, that's no salesman.
It's Dweeb.
[all] Dweeb!
Professor Dweeb to you.
And I come in the name of science.
Slimer is mine!
No, ISlimer not yours!
Hey, turn that thing off, nail-head.
Help, Egon!
Now, see here, Dweeb.
- [Slimer whimpers]
- If my glasses!
[whimpering] Slimer out of here
[Winston] No, stop!
You can't escape me,
you little gob of goo.
You forget I am a scientist.
- With a minor in business administration.
- [whimpering]
Help! Stop, Egon!
Get Dweeb!
[Egon] It's impossible
for me to understand
how a mental midget like Dweeb
could have us at such a disadvantage.
[Ray] Simple! He wants Slimer
and he's going to suck up everything
in the place until he gets him.
Then let's help Dweeb out.
- [all gasp]
- What?
[scoffs] Cheater.
[speaking incoherently]
Not Slimer, all the other stuff.
Have a seat, Dweeb.
[gasps] Not the chair.
What's a chair without a desk?
Like a man without a country.
[screams] Lolly-gag!
It's stuck again, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth? [gasps]
- [yelps]
- [desk clatters]
II'd like to thank
the freelance scientist society.
[screams] No! Wait!
Elizabeth, is that you?
No, Elizabeth. Heel, heel.
- [screaming]
- [crash and thud]
Have a nice day, Dweeb!
- [motor whirring]
- [Dweeb groaning]
[groaning] Puppy, I am
giving you a piece of my mind!
Don't worry, I'll reverse the suction
and you'll be out in a jiffy.
[Elizabeth yelping]
- [screaming]
- I've got you.
No! I've got you!
- [loud thumping]
- [screaming]
Got you.
You and me got some business
to talk over, Dweeb.
Oh, holy helitosis.
- [moaning]
- [Elizabeth shrieking]
I'm coming, Elizabeth.
I said we got to talk business.
[flies buzzing]
Are you out of your tiny ectoplasmic mind?
I am a scientist.
I do not talk business with ghosts.
Well, too bad.
Because I can give you Slimer
on a silver platter.
- [stutters]
- Oh, you can?
Who better to catch a little ghost
than a big ghost!
And all I want in exchange
is my poor baby brother, the Sleaze.
Who is stuck in the Ghostbusters'
dark old containment unit.
[wailing loudly]
Oh, you poor pathetic poltergeist.
Although I find you utterly repulsive.
Why thanks, Dweeb.
Your offer is intriguing.
I assume you have a plan.
Do I have a plan?
Scope this out.
Yay! Slimer Butter!
I'll get it.
Ghostbuster Central!
[Dweeb] [in squeaky voice]
It's weird buggered Harry.
Uh, and it ate my cat and my shoes.
Uh, please hurry.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. OK.
[alarm ringing]
Oh, that's their alarm.
They fell for it, hook, line and stinker.
Or, uh, I mean, sinker.
Yeah. [chuckles nervously]
[siren wails]
[Dweeb] Uh, Phase One completed.
On to Phase Two.
I'm out of here.
See you in Jersey.
[alarm blaring]
[tires screeching]
- [P.K.E Meter buzzing]
- Oh!
What a smell.
[Ray] What is this place?
It's the Fat Cat cat-food factory.
I'll never let a cat kiss me again.
Place is deserted.
I wonder where everybody went?
They must have closed the plant
because of the garbage strike.
Witness the plethora of bad garbage.
It means full or in excess.
I know what it means, Egon.
I just think it's a wimpy word.
If the plant's closed, who called us?
[Slimer] A weird lady.
- [gasps]
- Uh-oh.
Man, oh, man, what's that?
[Peter] That's your standard
overheated garbage bag
that's about to go boom!
That's not garbage.
- [beeping]
- [Egon] It's a Class 5.
Yeah, it's history.
Nah. Nah.
You guys can't shoot Machismole.
[all yelling]
Hey, yummy!
I liked it better that time it rained
cats and dogs.
[Dweeb] [sniggering]
To the Containment unit, Elizabeth.
Quickly, Elizabeth.
Time is of the essence.
[groans] The Clap sent
this disgusting sardine
sandwich to get the sneezer's attention.
It's a curious creature, Elizabeth.
Interesting and disgusting
at the same time.
Just like yoghurt.
Now, to test the foolproof
billions of my new invention.
[ghost groaning]
Yeah-huh! And get Zeus! success.
- [yelping]
- [alarm blaring]
[tools clatter]
- All right!
- [coughs]
We appear to have lost our prey.
No big loss, Egon.
That was the most disgusting
ghost since the Sleaze.
Heck, he even looked like the Sleaze.
Smell like the Sleaze, too.
The Sleaze?
Oh, he nasty!
He doesn't like me. Uh-uh. No way. Uh-huh.
Then no wonder, Spud.
We helped catch him, remember?
- [rumbling]
- Uh-huh?
[gasps] Guys!
[screaming] Watch out!
[Egon] Hose that garbage.
[Ghostbusters grunting]
One Slimer flapjack ready to go.
[laughing maniacally]
[screaming] Guys, help! Help!
That garbage-gooboo has got Slimer.
[Slimer] [yelling] Peter! Egon!
[screaming] Guys, help! Help!
- [beeping]
- Gentlemen, we have a problem.
There's been a breach
in the Containment unit.
- [Ray] The Containment? Let's roll!
- [siren wailing]
[Peter] Egon, you and Ray
take the Containment.
Winston and I will find the Spud.
[Slimer whimpering]
Look at the bright side, slime ball.
You're racking up frequent flyer miles.
[alarm buzzing]
What's that?
It seems that a single spectral entity
from inside the unit
was deliberately freed.
The Sleaze?
[Egon] [over PA]
Peter, Winston, come in. Over.
[siren wailing]
What's the word, Egon?
[Egon] Someone released
the Sleaze from the Containment.
We surmise he's meeting the Glob at
the Baybridge Garbage Dump in New Jersey.
How do you figure
all of this stuff out, Egon?
[Egon] It seems logical considering their
mutual affection for garbage.
We'll meet you there.
Collect the garbage, smelly ghost.
Now putrid junkyard.
Sometimes being a legendary
scientist really stinks.
Mmm. Now where could that
disgusting odipherous glob be?
[both scream]
I love when you sweet-talk me, Dweeb.
- Where's my baby brother?
- [flies buzzing]
[stuttering] Right here.
Now, boy, oh, boy. Give me that here.
- Sleaze!
- Glob.
Oh, my garbage goomba.
- My huge sweet sibling.
- Oh, yeah.
- It's been too long.
- Oh, yes.
[clears throat]
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Glob?
Uh, where's my half of the deal?
[maniacal laughter]
Here. Now buzz off.
[whimpers] Sleaze.
I've been waiting on this
for a long time, slime ball.
Now see here, you repugnant creature.
That repugnant creature is mine!
- Huh?
- Big bro
- Who is this Dweeb?
- [yelping]
The Glob promised Slimer to me!
If my baby brother wants Slimer,
he gets Slimer.
Elizabeth, I think I hear mother calling.
[electricity crackling]
- [groans]
- [shrieking]
[both screaming]
My, oh, my.
[siren blaring]
Peter! Winston!
Drop the Spud, garbage-head.
[Both] No more Sleaze.
No more Glob.
Now the Slob is on the job.
The smellier they are,
the harder they fall.
You got that right.
Dust him.
Ow! That stings.
Ooh. Ow.
I'm getting down and dirty.
Your aim is as bad
as your breath, odor head.
Uh-oh. Pete?
Whoa, nothing worse than
a bed with a bad attitude.
[both gasp]
- Ah!
- No, Glob.
Sleaze, where you going?
To find a little trip named Slimer.
[chuckles nervously] Hi, Sleaze.
Now listen, grease ball.
[Slimer] [shouts] Yay! Ray and Egon!
Careful of the Spud!
[Ray and Egon yelling]
[Peter] Incoming!
[whimpering] Ray, Egon!
This may be a record low
in new age heroics, Winston.
Buried in garbage while
being attacked by a toilet
and an over-stuffed chair.
Adios, garbage monsters.
[maniacal laughter]
Egon, you're too late.
We had to blast that picture of Einstein
your mother threw away
when you were twelve.
I was five, and it was Socrates.
- Hey, the spell is broken.
- [Dweeb yelling]
[both screaming]
- A fashion tip, Dweeb.
- [clanging]
- Next time go for a larger size.
- [shrieking]
But he does wear it well,
doesn't he, Spud?
Yeah. Well. [chuckles]
Right. On our way.
Hey, guys, the Slob
is partying in Manhattan.
- [engine revving]
- [siren blaring]
I'm not through with you yet,
[Elizabeth shrieking]
[Egon] We'll be back
with some airpower, guys.
- [Glob] No, garbage-busters.
- [yelling]
Feel like some tennis?
That's it. I've had it with these bozos.
- [Dweeb] Those miserable Ghostbusters
underestimate me, Elizabeth.
For I shall still nab that
odios floating blight, Slimer.
You're beginning to annoy me, Elizabeth.
[Slob] Here you go.
Oh, so you want to play rough, huh?
Ray, Egon, where's that
airpower you promised?
On our way, Winston.
- There they are, Elizabeth.
- [yelp]
[Dweeb] And there's the slimy-one.
We've got that slime-spittle
this time, Elizabeth.
Ray, the guys are down there!
Ray, the slob is too powerful
for our weapons.
But if we can separate him
into the Sleaze and the Glob,
we can trap them individually.
Then we'll need Slimer's help.
And Dweeb's.
Don't be ridiculous.
Why should I, a brilliant scientist
help the Ghostbusters?
Because if you don't,
you're dead meat!
I'll be glad to help. [chuckles nervously]
[Dweeb] I've done it!
- I've caught Slimer.
- What's that?
I am brilliant. [Slimer mock sobbing]
I am triumphant.
I am scientist.
Nobody gets Slimer but me.
Sleaze, no. Wait.
Say goodnight, Sleazy.
[Ray] Recycle this garbage.
[Sleaze yelping]
They're both in the bag.
Well, the garbage brothers
are in the Containment.
Yeah. And the paper says
the garbage strike's over.
Ahem! On this occasion,
I would like to, uh, bury the hatchet
so to speak, with Slimer.
OK, Dweebs.
My brilliant scientific mind
knows no bounds.
Well, Slimer, all that's left now
is to take out the trash.
Yes! Stash the trash.
[Dweeb] I'll get you, Slimer. [sniggering]
Yeah, mark my words.
I'll get you.
- [thuds]
- [whimpers]
[theme music playing]
Previous EpisodeNext Episode