The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s06e11 Episode Script
Afterlife in the Fast Lane
1
["Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[screaming]
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
[cat yelping]
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm blaring]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Uh-oh!
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[siren blaring]
[growls]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
[screams]
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Woah!
[screaming]
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters!
Yeah!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
[cheering]
I love you!
Oh, yes. My adoring female fans.
[man] [on speaker] Just listen to
that crowd welcome their hero,
as we get ready for the first annual
Ghostbusters Grand Prix.
Remember, this is a friendly competition
with each Ghostbuster trying to win that
big prize money for his favorite charity.
[crowd cheering]
The Ghostbusters will be driving cars
designed to suit their own
particular driving style.
Peter Venkman in
the turbine-powered Venkmobile.
Ray Stantz, piloting
the solar-powered Ray Runner.
Egon Spengler in his fully computerized
Hydrogen-propelled Spengler Speedster.
Slimer in his Slime Buggy,
which uses a new viscous coating
to reduce wind resistance.
And last, but certainly not least,
Winston Zeddemore in the venerable Ecto-1,
which has been specially
souped up for this event.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
[engine revving]
Oh, yeah.
Cooling, check.
Freezer, check.
All systems, check.
Good luck, guys.
Remember, those uniforms
have to be back by 5:00
or we lose our deposit.
[man] [on speaker]
As the racers reach the first turn,
it's Vroom Vroom Venkman in the lead.
Hey guys, Ecto's tired of idling.
Catch us if you can.
Piece of cake, Winston.
Yeah, piece of cake.
And a piece of pie too.
Well, I'm a growing ghost, you know.
Now, Ghostbusters,
it's time to see how good you really are.
[evil laugh]
[surprised muttering]
Hey, what's going on?
Man, what was that?
Wow. Where did it come from?
- It wasn't there yesterday.
- Yeah.
- No, no, stop, stop.
- Stop, stop.
- Hold it, hold it, stop.
- Don't go through there.
Hold it, hold it, stop.
Hi, how are you doing?
Oh, they know a winning smile.
Last one in has spinach on his teeth!
[gasps]
[man] [on TV]
Gentlemen, this is unbelievable.
Louis, did you see that?
[gasps] See what?
The guys. They just vanished.
[Louis] Vanished?
[whirring]
Boy, weather sure changed in a hurry.
[Peter] Yeah, so did the neighborhood.
Egon, you're the man with the maps.
Where the heck are we?
[sizzling]
[thud]
[Egon] Correction,
I was the man with the maps.
Gentlemen I have a feeling
that all isn't as it appears.
Oh, don't give up so easily, Egon.
You can still take second.
Hee-haw!
[sirens wailing]
[Janine] Oh, can't they go any faster?
Well, I hope not.
Louis, the guys' fate depends on us.
[belching] I know.
But so does the fate of your upholstery.
[groans]
If anything can get the guys back
it has to be one of Egon's inventions.
Oh, this is kind of neat.
What is it?
I don't know, but it's flashing.
Is that good?
Oh, let's face it, Louis.
If we have trouble working
a TV remote control,
how do we use this stuff?
Oh, yeah. Well there's not
a calculator in the bunch.
Well, we can't just sit here.
We have to try.
- [high pitched whirring]
- [screams]
- [beeping]
- [gasps]
[gasps]
Road sign ahead.
Now we get to fix in our whereabouts.
"Terror Town."
"Nightmaresville."
"Cove of a Thousand Horrors."
Where in the world are we?
That depends.
To which world are you referring?
I was afraid you'd say that.
We're lost!
[sobbing]
We're lost! We're lost!
We're not lost, Slimer. We're just, uh,
misplaced.
Oh, cool man.
[screams]
Lunchtime.
Hey, where did that come from?
Well it didn't just appear
out of thin air. Did it?
Maybe they can give us
directions out of here.
Hurry guys, hurry.
- Whoa.
- What?
[Peter] Uh, excuse me, folks.
Can anyone tell us
how to get back to Manhattan?
You can't get there from here, flesh face.
[screams]
[growling]
[snarling]
- Let's get out of here.
- Let's go.
[screams]
Where the heck are we, Egon?
The Netherworld.
That, that tunnel?
Exactly.
[panting] You mean someone wanted us here
and now we're trapped.
Exactly.
Let's, let's blow this creep show.
Unfortunately,
all directional data is gone.
[Peter] Then we'll find
a way out on our own.
Follow me guys.
[crash]
Peter!
Oh, man. What hit me?
[Slimer] Peter!
Are you OK?
What happened?
I uh, I don't know. You tell me.
You were a victim
of this optical illusion.
Hmm.
We seem to be enclosed in a parabolic
realm of high density ectoplasm.
It means we're like fish in a bowl.
Now,
the game can begin.
[thundering]
One thing is obvious, guys.
Our fuel won't last forever.
Any brainstorms, Egon?
- No.
- [Peter] I hate it when you say that.
Then let's find a way out
or else we're sitting ducks.
Maybe this is it.
What's it for?
Something to do with ghosts, I think.
Oh great, Janine.
OK, OK, if you're so smart
you save the guys.
[beeping]
[Ray] I don't see anything familiar.
[gasps] It's Ray.
[Peter] Eventually,
whoever trapped us here,
- has gotta
- That was the guys.
If we can talk to 'em, we can save 'em.
Ray, Ray. This is Louis.
Hey, can you hear me? Over.
They're gone.
- Wait.
- [static signal]
Let's go about this scientifically.
Hey, anyone for Checkers?
Yeah, what is it about this place
that reminds me of a game.
A keen observation gentlemen.
Perhaps it will help
identify our mystery host.
Hello.
- What?
- What?
[screams]
[screaming]
[screaming]
Whoa!
[grunts]
- Wow.
- Ray, get in.
Coming.
Thanks, Peter.
I never was lucky with dice.
[Egon] Gentlemen,
I believe I found our nemesis.
A Class 7 Demon called The Phantom
who has a penchant for board games
with very high stakes.
Apparently, he's never lost.
- What?
- [gasps]
Whoa!
What's that supposed to mean?
"Back 10 spaces"?
It means brace yourselves.
[screaming]
This Phantom plays rough.
Oh, yeah, if he's so tough,
why doesn't he show himself?
Peter, Peter,
there's the Phantom.
Welcome to the game, gentlemen.
I chose you, Ghostbusters,
because of your
excellent reputation.
I have trouble finding worthy opponents
but so far you get an A for effort.
Well, here's an A for you pal.
Whoa!
- Oh, wow.
- Holy Toledo.
Wowie!
Huh!
Unfortunately, Ghostbusters,
there can only be one winner.
Need I say who that shall be?
[evil laugh]
We need a game plan.
We're all ears, Egon.
Speak for yourself, Ray.
[Egon] Judging from these signs,
we must accumulate a certain amount
of points to reach the finish line.
And when our scores start to rise
we're headed in the right direction.
Yeah, out of here.
Burn rubber.
[tires screeching]
[pinging]
[pinging continues]
[evil laugh]
[tires screeching]
[engine growling]
[screaming]
[roaring]
[screaming]
Huh!
[screams]
[growl]
Oh, this is the last one, Louis.
My fingers are cramping up.
[buzzing and beeping]
What's it doing?
I don't have a clue.
Maybe we'll get lucky.
[growling]
[screams]
Guys, help!
Beat this, bud. I got you covered.
- [Ray] Peter, no.
- [screams]
Peter, you scared him.
He got him all right.
Now he's as big as a house.
[gasps]
I think you found
a way to stop that thing, Pete.
I did?
Yeah, just keep blasting him.
Bigger and bigger.
While I lead him into
this little old canyon.
[Egon] Very good, Winston.
Eat slime, gas hog.
Uh-oh, end of the line guys.
[screaming]
[brakes screeching]
[all screaming]
Keep shooting. Keep shooting.
Yeah!
You're beautiful when you're mad, fatso.
Looks like we won that round.
We're out of here.
[grunting]
[screaming]
Boy, Winston,
you must have really paid attention
in Drivers Ed.
[deep growling]
[tringing]
Way to go, Winston. We scored 300 points.
Gentlemen, I have my
directional finder working.
If there's a crack in
the portal we came though,
this will find it.
Does that mean it's working?
Oh, I hope so, Louis.
We're in luck. I've located the portal.
South, south-east.
- Oh, yeah.
- Way to go.
All right, yeah!
[Slimer] Yay, Egon!
[beeping]
Level three.
Wow, we're experts.
Definite go!
Keep this heading, Winston.
We'll eventually arrive at the portal.
Impossible.
No one has ever made it to level three.
No one!
See anything?
No, not yet.
[evil laugh]
Oh, let's hope the guys come out
before that does.
[evil laugh]
Hey, things are starting to look familiar.
That looks like the tunnel straight ahead.
Hop-diggity, we win.
No you don't!
I always win!
[rumbling]
[screaming]
Woah, woah!
Way to go, Ecto.
[screams]
No!
[Janine] It's the guys.
Yeah. But look what's behind him.
Boy, what a poor loser.
Janine, now!
[Phantom screaming]
[Phantom screaming in distance]
Oh! We did it, Louis.
[all talking excitedly]
[cheering]
Thank you, thank you.
I love you more than my own family.
[kissing]
Looking good, guys.
Almost there.
Go, go.
We can still salvage the uniform deposit.
[grunting]
Under the circumstances,
I proudly award the winner's trophy
to Slimer and all the Ghostbusters.
Well, thank you, Mr. Mayor. Knock it off.
But you know, there's two more
winners that are a big part of this team.
And without them,
well we just wouldn't be here.
Janine Melnitz and Louis Tully,
come on down.
OK, guys.
Flash those winning smiles.
[theme music playing]
["Ghostbusters" playing]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[screaming]
There's something strange ♪
In the neighborhood ♪
[cat yelping]
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
[alarm blaring]
There's something weird ♪
And it don't look good ♪
Uh-oh!
Who you gonna call? ♪
[cat yowling]
Ghostbusters! ♪
[siren blaring]
[growls]
[Slimer] Luigi, jump!
[screams]
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Woah!
[screaming]
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
[Slimer] Ghostbusters!
Yeah!
Who you gonna call? ♪
Ghostbusters! ♪
And me! And me!
[cheering]
I love you!
Oh, yes. My adoring female fans.
[man] [on speaker] Just listen to
that crowd welcome their hero,
as we get ready for the first annual
Ghostbusters Grand Prix.
Remember, this is a friendly competition
with each Ghostbuster trying to win that
big prize money for his favorite charity.
[crowd cheering]
The Ghostbusters will be driving cars
designed to suit their own
particular driving style.
Peter Venkman in
the turbine-powered Venkmobile.
Ray Stantz, piloting
the solar-powered Ray Runner.
Egon Spengler in his fully computerized
Hydrogen-propelled Spengler Speedster.
Slimer in his Slime Buggy,
which uses a new viscous coating
to reduce wind resistance.
And last, but certainly not least,
Winston Zeddemore in the venerable Ecto-1,
which has been specially
souped up for this event.
Gentlemen, start your engines.
[engine revving]
Oh, yeah.
Cooling, check.
Freezer, check.
All systems, check.
Good luck, guys.
Remember, those uniforms
have to be back by 5:00
or we lose our deposit.
[man] [on speaker]
As the racers reach the first turn,
it's Vroom Vroom Venkman in the lead.
Hey guys, Ecto's tired of idling.
Catch us if you can.
Piece of cake, Winston.
Yeah, piece of cake.
And a piece of pie too.
Well, I'm a growing ghost, you know.
Now, Ghostbusters,
it's time to see how good you really are.
[evil laugh]
[surprised muttering]
Hey, what's going on?
Man, what was that?
Wow. Where did it come from?
- It wasn't there yesterday.
- Yeah.
- No, no, stop, stop.
- Stop, stop.
- Hold it, hold it, stop.
- Don't go through there.
Hold it, hold it, stop.
Hi, how are you doing?
Oh, they know a winning smile.
Last one in has spinach on his teeth!
[gasps]
[man] [on TV]
Gentlemen, this is unbelievable.
Louis, did you see that?
[gasps] See what?
The guys. They just vanished.
[Louis] Vanished?
[whirring]
Boy, weather sure changed in a hurry.
[Peter] Yeah, so did the neighborhood.
Egon, you're the man with the maps.
Where the heck are we?
[sizzling]
[thud]
[Egon] Correction,
I was the man with the maps.
Gentlemen I have a feeling
that all isn't as it appears.
Oh, don't give up so easily, Egon.
You can still take second.
Hee-haw!
[sirens wailing]
[Janine] Oh, can't they go any faster?
Well, I hope not.
Louis, the guys' fate depends on us.
[belching] I know.
But so does the fate of your upholstery.
[groans]
If anything can get the guys back
it has to be one of Egon's inventions.
Oh, this is kind of neat.
What is it?
I don't know, but it's flashing.
Is that good?
Oh, let's face it, Louis.
If we have trouble working
a TV remote control,
how do we use this stuff?
Oh, yeah. Well there's not
a calculator in the bunch.
Well, we can't just sit here.
We have to try.
- [high pitched whirring]
- [screams]
- [beeping]
- [gasps]
[gasps]
Road sign ahead.
Now we get to fix in our whereabouts.
"Terror Town."
"Nightmaresville."
"Cove of a Thousand Horrors."
Where in the world are we?
That depends.
To which world are you referring?
I was afraid you'd say that.
We're lost!
[sobbing]
We're lost! We're lost!
We're not lost, Slimer. We're just, uh,
misplaced.
Oh, cool man.
[screams]
Lunchtime.
Hey, where did that come from?
Well it didn't just appear
out of thin air. Did it?
Maybe they can give us
directions out of here.
Hurry guys, hurry.
- Whoa.
- What?
[Peter] Uh, excuse me, folks.
Can anyone tell us
how to get back to Manhattan?
You can't get there from here, flesh face.
[screams]
[growling]
[snarling]
- Let's get out of here.
- Let's go.
[screams]
Where the heck are we, Egon?
The Netherworld.
That, that tunnel?
Exactly.
[panting] You mean someone wanted us here
and now we're trapped.
Exactly.
Let's, let's blow this creep show.
Unfortunately,
all directional data is gone.
[Peter] Then we'll find
a way out on our own.
Follow me guys.
[crash]
Peter!
Oh, man. What hit me?
[Slimer] Peter!
Are you OK?
What happened?
I uh, I don't know. You tell me.
You were a victim
of this optical illusion.
Hmm.
We seem to be enclosed in a parabolic
realm of high density ectoplasm.
It means we're like fish in a bowl.
Now,
the game can begin.
[thundering]
One thing is obvious, guys.
Our fuel won't last forever.
Any brainstorms, Egon?
- No.
- [Peter] I hate it when you say that.
Then let's find a way out
or else we're sitting ducks.
Maybe this is it.
What's it for?
Something to do with ghosts, I think.
Oh great, Janine.
OK, OK, if you're so smart
you save the guys.
[beeping]
[Ray] I don't see anything familiar.
[gasps] It's Ray.
[Peter] Eventually,
whoever trapped us here,
- has gotta
- That was the guys.
If we can talk to 'em, we can save 'em.
Ray, Ray. This is Louis.
Hey, can you hear me? Over.
They're gone.
- Wait.
- [static signal]
Let's go about this scientifically.
Hey, anyone for Checkers?
Yeah, what is it about this place
that reminds me of a game.
A keen observation gentlemen.
Perhaps it will help
identify our mystery host.
Hello.
- What?
- What?
[screams]
[screaming]
[screaming]
Whoa!
[grunts]
- Wow.
- Ray, get in.
Coming.
Thanks, Peter.
I never was lucky with dice.
[Egon] Gentlemen,
I believe I found our nemesis.
A Class 7 Demon called The Phantom
who has a penchant for board games
with very high stakes.
Apparently, he's never lost.
- What?
- [gasps]
Whoa!
What's that supposed to mean?
"Back 10 spaces"?
It means brace yourselves.
[screaming]
This Phantom plays rough.
Oh, yeah, if he's so tough,
why doesn't he show himself?
Peter, Peter,
there's the Phantom.
Welcome to the game, gentlemen.
I chose you, Ghostbusters,
because of your
excellent reputation.
I have trouble finding worthy opponents
but so far you get an A for effort.
Well, here's an A for you pal.
Whoa!
- Oh, wow.
- Holy Toledo.
Wowie!
Huh!
Unfortunately, Ghostbusters,
there can only be one winner.
Need I say who that shall be?
[evil laugh]
We need a game plan.
We're all ears, Egon.
Speak for yourself, Ray.
[Egon] Judging from these signs,
we must accumulate a certain amount
of points to reach the finish line.
And when our scores start to rise
we're headed in the right direction.
Yeah, out of here.
Burn rubber.
[tires screeching]
[pinging]
[pinging continues]
[evil laugh]
[tires screeching]
[engine growling]
[screaming]
[roaring]
[screaming]
Huh!
[screams]
[growl]
Oh, this is the last one, Louis.
My fingers are cramping up.
[buzzing and beeping]
What's it doing?
I don't have a clue.
Maybe we'll get lucky.
[growling]
[screams]
Guys, help!
Beat this, bud. I got you covered.
- [Ray] Peter, no.
- [screams]
Peter, you scared him.
He got him all right.
Now he's as big as a house.
[gasps]
I think you found
a way to stop that thing, Pete.
I did?
Yeah, just keep blasting him.
Bigger and bigger.
While I lead him into
this little old canyon.
[Egon] Very good, Winston.
Eat slime, gas hog.
Uh-oh, end of the line guys.
[screaming]
[brakes screeching]
[all screaming]
Keep shooting. Keep shooting.
Yeah!
You're beautiful when you're mad, fatso.
Looks like we won that round.
We're out of here.
[grunting]
[screaming]
Boy, Winston,
you must have really paid attention
in Drivers Ed.
[deep growling]
[tringing]
Way to go, Winston. We scored 300 points.
Gentlemen, I have my
directional finder working.
If there's a crack in
the portal we came though,
this will find it.
Does that mean it's working?
Oh, I hope so, Louis.
We're in luck. I've located the portal.
South, south-east.
- Oh, yeah.
- Way to go.
All right, yeah!
[Slimer] Yay, Egon!
[beeping]
Level three.
Wow, we're experts.
Definite go!
Keep this heading, Winston.
We'll eventually arrive at the portal.
Impossible.
No one has ever made it to level three.
No one!
See anything?
No, not yet.
[evil laugh]
Oh, let's hope the guys come out
before that does.
[evil laugh]
Hey, things are starting to look familiar.
That looks like the tunnel straight ahead.
Hop-diggity, we win.
No you don't!
I always win!
[rumbling]
[screaming]
Woah, woah!
Way to go, Ecto.
[screams]
No!
[Janine] It's the guys.
Yeah. But look what's behind him.
Boy, what a poor loser.
Janine, now!
[Phantom screaming]
[Phantom screaming in distance]
Oh! We did it, Louis.
[all talking excitedly]
[cheering]
Thank you, thank you.
I love you more than my own family.
[kissing]
Looking good, guys.
Almost there.
Go, go.
We can still salvage the uniform deposit.
[grunting]
Under the circumstances,
I proudly award the winner's trophy
to Slimer and all the Ghostbusters.
Well, thank you, Mr. Mayor. Knock it off.
But you know, there's two more
winners that are a big part of this team.
And without them,
well we just wouldn't be here.
Janine Melnitz and Louis Tully,
come on down.
OK, guys.
Flash those winning smiles.
[theme music playing]