The Real Housewives of D.C. (2010) s01e03 Episode Script

Foreign Relations

Previously on the real housewives of d.
C.
I just opened a bottle of wine that looks like It might have been here for about 100 years.
She is not used to being in an environment Where it's majority black people.
She was straight-up rude.
So how did you meet michaele? She was a makeup artist for trish mcevoy.
So she used to do your makeup? She did.
All right, great.
All right, thanks.
There he goes again, you know, Taking control of the whole entire room.
One, two Did you tell her to eat a burger and fries? Why are you talking to him about me? Because I'm allowed to talk to him.
I don't know why she would, like, belittle me.
And I was kind enough to invite her to this party.
It's only the beginning.
I don't make money.
I spend money.
I give people enough rope to hang themselves, And the smart people don't.
D.
C.
Is my town, and I thrive in it.
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
People have a hard time saying no to me, And that's just been my blessing.
I think the thing that, um, you know, That you really want to convey is, you know, just this, um, Enormity of what you've done.
Because, you know, as you say later, You've never looked at anyone else.
You hadn't, you know, you hadn't kissed anyone Or thought of an affair, And suddenly you're in one.
I'm very proud and excited about my book.
My editor and I have been working around the clock.
I've got--I mean, how many weeks have we got now? Two.
Two--it's so fast.
No, it's not two weeks.
- No, it's not.
- It's two weeks.
- It's not two weeks.
Oh, god! - It's time to get it out.
under pressure All right, umOkay.
So, um Well, I'm living, breathing, and sleeping this Along with you.
I'm doing a photo shoot for the cover of my book.
The publishers are absolutely adamant It's gotta be me.
The brief was they wanted a sex in the city look, Which is so not me.
I don't want women to look at the book And think, "oh, great" - right.
Right.
"here's another one who goes shopping.
" It's so not about shopping.
I don't think I even go shopping In four years.
Yeah.
- Hey.
- Hey, you guys.
Look at, you've already started doing What we are looking forward to doing.
That's right.
You know I have to get Quick and easy.
Celebration time now.
Grapes are off the vine.
Yes, absolutely.
Let's have a drink and celebrate.
Jerry and lauren bias are our dear friends.
And they happen to own sugarleaf, Which is the only african-american-owned vineyard On the east coast.
And obama served their wine At the governor's ball.
That is hot.
We're rolling out a whole bunch of '08 wines Because the '07s are almost gone.
Right, we have one bottle of '07 that is remaining, And it shall not be touched.
My mom was over at the house the other day.
She was, like, "what is--" I'm, like, "eh eh eh" You gotta hide it.
"get your hands off of that!" Cheers.
- Cheers.
I think we need to expand the parking lot, though.
No doubt, seriously.
Tareq and michaele came to the vineyard.
We're, like, in jeans, all casualTennis shoes.
Meanwhile, they're fabbed out.
Hello.
How are you? Welcome.
Well, from one winemaker to another, I present you with a bottle of wine that I made From our winery.
So we look forward to trying your wine someday.
Now I'm getting thirsty again.
Wherever you guys want to plop yourselves.
Dan the man.
Hi, dan.
Well, we've got a bunch of folks outside, So you guys, you know, enjoy the tasting And drink some wonderful wines.
- All right, let's do it.
- Have fun, guys.
First off, let's start you with our chardonnay.
- Nice.
- Excellent.
What are you tasting now, tareq? Well, in this one, I mean, I'm getting some Fresh melon.
I'm getting a lot of nice citrus and - Citrus? - I love the fact that you Put the petit manseng into the viognier.
Wow, that really makes this wine spectacular.
And if you look between the legs-- You see where there's an arch? That tells you the life stability of the wine.
So if there's a consistent arch Between all those legs, the wine is very stable.
It has a long life in the bottle.
I never let it last the long.
We're on the same page.
- Hey, pleasant day.
- I know.
- Oh, my-- - it is.
It really is awesome.
What do you guys think about obama? I'm really excited about his position On the two-state solution, to be quite honest.
You know, with israel and palestine.
You can't be in d.
C.
And not be involved in politics.
That's just what we do in washington.
I think he's all about bringing us all together.
And letting go of-- And there will be those mindsets, And that's what makes up the world.
You know, we're all different.
What? I don't really see either way If he was republican or democrat.
But he has a grace about him That, when people do do that-- It's okay.
You know, let's talk about it.
And he tries to pull everybody together.
- Yeah.
- The red and the blue, And make it red, white, and blue.
Michaele just kind of smiles, talks, And tries to look cute.
- - Well, we're going to a show.
- Okay.
Jason's brother has the number one single in paris.
- Ahh - Wow.
So literally, he's from here.
- Congratulations.
- I know, right? Love to your brother.
I changed his diaper, and now he's a rock star.
- They're having a big- - a big album-release party.
- That's in paris? - Yeah.
U need to call your travel agent.
Let's go.
- Oh, absolutely.
Hop the pond.
It's very quick.
Be careful what you wish for.
We are known to do spontaneous things.
Don't talk about it, prove it.
We'll be there.
Don't talk about it, be about it--we'll be there.
You want to go? Should we go? He might just be looking into this, though.
Tareq and michaele are big ballers If they come over to paris with three days' notice.
- Here's to paris.
- Paree.
Absolutely.
Where, exactly, is the presentation? They'll make their way around the pink tape, Stop and pose, and then exit to the left.
Oh, so they're going to go all the way? I definitely want to see the models Before they do the presentation.
Saks fifth avenue annually does a vip shopping night To raise money and awareness for key to the cure.
And that's for breast cancer.
We basically donate our models For informal modeling throughout the store.
We're gonna camp out because I want to see the girls walk.
Oh, okay.
Because I booked some of our newer models, But they're all definitely talented on the runway, So I want to check 'em out.
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi! How are you? We're fresh out of tequila.
so here is our first look.
Yeah.
Oh, my god, she is beautiful.
-With our comfort viscose purple turtleneck sweater.
Just as a side note, This sweater has absolutely no wool in it.
So it's a great way to do that turtleneck fall look And still be casual.
This is actually the last look.
So we'll do a final run here.
whoo! I love that bag.
It looks great.
It really does.
So I want to know what happened the other night.
You mean, at the birthday party? At the birthday party, michaele.
Why are you talking to him about me? Because I'm allowed to talk to him.
But talk to me.
If it's something about me-- He said to me, "I'm dressing michaele tomorrow.
" I said, "great, while you're at it, Feed her a burger and fries.
" And if you have a problem with that, I'm sorry.
Well, I think it was inappropriate.
She just started kind of reprimanding me For talking to paul about what I am genuinely concerned about, Like, which is her health.
Even though you don't expect people to do what michaele did, The fact that I actually gave her any reaction at all Disappoints me.
I don't like the fact that she was able to push my buttons.
They appear to be starving-- Starving for, like, attention.
If he boasts any more about his winery No, their reds are actually really good.
I am a fan of their reds.
I have to say that, honestly.
Honestly, they have beautiful red ne.
Do you kw, I haven't.
I'just turned off by his need To be front and center.
You know, she gets her cue as to when she gets To step on board and be michaele.
I think that it is tareq's influence That has changed michaele.
Michaele used to be centered, ten pounds heavier, And, you know, a beautiful soul.
- Yeah.
And I think that she has a beautiful soul That is being suffocated by something more boisterous Than maybe she's prepared to have-- I think you're on to something.
I feel sorry for her.
I mean, in a lot of ways, mary, I really do.
Coming up next What am I missing here? Where does swanning around come into my life? - Seriously, it's a joke.
- Excuse me? And later Actually, if you can sing, We'll let you be diana ross.
- Jason.
- Yeah? I got your passport.
So we're, like, ready 15 minutes early.
That's, like, a record.
Okay, baby, what is up with the kids? The long version, or the short version? - Give me the stacie version.
- Okay.
They are at school.
They'll get picked up by miss debra.
They're going to erika's for dinner.
Then on Thursday, your mom kicks in.
On Friday, she's gonna take them back to her house.
Then monica will take them to school on Monday.
So that's the plan.
So then, what's happening when we get there? That would be your part of the plan.
All right, well, you know, the best plans come together On site.
so you know UhSo we're catching a cab? So it's gonna be all good.
Did you call about early check-in? That's part of my plan to take care of Once we get to the airport.
I got this.
Don't tell me any more.
Let me just get there.
It's a grand alternative.
Baby, work with me.
This is all I need for the weekend.
- You're gonna take that? - That's all I'm gonna take.
This? I couldn't even make it on a day afternoon trip.
I couldn't be more excited.
Oh, my gosh, we're going to paris! Are you really gonna take three suitcases? Well, I have two more in there, so-- That's too much.
- That's too much.
How many outfits? Let me think.
Think, think, think.
Friday night It's a concert/dinner.
I think concert/dinner.
I say, you know, we make the paris trip a laid-back trip.
Try to consolidate from four bags just down to the one.
How do you feel about three? Two is better.
- Two and a half it is.
- Okay, deal.
Two and a half, it's a deal.
Two and a half it is, sir.
It's a deal.
Okay.
Two and a half--I love you.
All right.
You think we need a bathing suit? - No.
- No? Are these two white folks really gonna get on a plane And go to the hip-hop concert in France? I thought that he was just like, "yeah, yeah, yeah.
" whatever.
They really seem like they are down For the hip-hop experience.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, the fact they're gonna, like, Bounce over for 48 hours- - I know.
I mean, the flight is half the time - That they're gonna be there.
- I'm not gonna lie-- I really thought they were gonna be full of When they were talking about going to France.
I was, like, "it's the obama era.
It's the obama era," You know what I mean? Might be trying to roll.
So I'm very happy.
They're gonna have a great time.
Let's do it, baby.
You know how we do it.
- Will you have a seat, my love? - Yeah.
Would you like to have a little chardonnay? It's so late that I actually brought a bottle with me From my last meeting.
I was, like-- would you love that? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Robin, dearest May we have, please, some chardonnay? I have been so anxious.
I'm so--I want to know about your book.
I've not even had a chance to know about your book.
I mean, like, I could never write a book.
First of all, I'd never write anything down in my life Because I figure that that's, you know, Something that could be used against me someday.
Oh, all of this can be used against me, but you know I've had most things thrown at me in my life so far, so.
Cat wanted some advice in regards to her book cover, So I invited her to come over to t.
H.
E.
Artist agency.
What's the book about? I mean Falling out of love with my husband.
And I fell in love with a married man.
OhLovely.
Hilarious escapades.
I mean, like, hilarious.
- Is it like-- - inappropriate lovers.
- Oh, really? - Really inappropriate lovers.
So how does charles feel about the book? Well, he didn't want to read it because It was, you know, quite-- - it was your past.
But it was my past, but then I have to think about-- Well, you've lived your life, and what you've been through Makes you who you are.
I thinthat washington d.
C.
, being as small as it is And as powerful as it is-- Charles' job is basically on the line.
I mean, he is a white house photographer.
Does it have a happy ending? You want a happy ending? I always want a happy ending! Five dollah! I want a happy ending.
I'm looking for a happy ending.
Did you notice I went a little lighter this time? Now I am noticing you went a little lighter.
Looks good.
- Jason did a little A little lighter frame around my face.
A frame? Is that what that's called in the business? Okay.
No, he's great.
I love jason.
When's ted coming back to town? They're coming back next week.
Ted gibson has a hair salon in new york city.
He and jason work together.
There's a dinner.
Ted is--I'm actually helping ted get together with some people In the media, and some of their top clients, They're gonna have a private dinner.
Ted and I have become very close friends, And I wanted to help him get introduced To some of the important people in d.
C.
I think we're good.
I think we're gonna have two glasses Of the white burgundy that you have.
I do not think that's from virginia.
That is not a virginia wine.
Yeah, speaking of virginia wines, He's quite the master showman.
Showman! He, like, kind of took over paul's party.
You know, they're very splashy, Which is highly unusual for washington.
He was chopping corks out of champagne bottles.
He was, like, pointing it directly at us.
It was like hunting with dick cheney.
I mean, it was a little scary.
Frankly, when I saw michaele say something to lynda, It just was a little bit-- Inappropriate venue to have that conversation.
You two were together recently.
- Ah - What's up with that? If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all.
Isn't that what your mom taught you? I'm interested in hosting a really nice evening For ted gibson.
I'm sure that there's not gonna be any drama At this party.
It was off-putting to me.
Yeah.
- On paul's birthday.
Well, that's-- that's not cool.
Yeah, come on, can we see that thing? Show us that thing.
Show us that thing.
- Yeah, what is it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Charles has been away working, And the girls are always really excited When charles comes home.
Um, I downloaded something Which is kind of interesting.
- Oh, my, that's- - that's that helium.
I'm scared.
The first time charles met jade and ruby, They bonded immediately.
They are very close, and it's really lovely to see.
Thousands of pounds of education Got me to that in my life.
there you go.
It is hard, him being away.
Both of us have got a really full-on schedule at the moment.
So this week, girls, I'm doing something called "a portrait of a company," And it's goldman sachs in new york That has pretty much never let anyone enter their doors.
Five days of shooting.
It's gonna be a pretty-- You know, a pretty long week, I think.
You've got five days of shooting? Charles was originally going to shoot the cover for me, But charles was called away on assignment in new york.
I'm really disappointed that charles can't be there.
Babe, can we compare who's had the less sleep Over the last week? 'cause by the way, whilst you've been away, as you know, I've had both the girls off school.
I've had my deadline.
I was working till 2:30 in the morning.
It's just like, mommy's working too hard.
Mommy's in her office all the time working.
Mommy was out partying again.
Pretend to be sympathetic, would you? I literally have had, maximum, six hours' sleep a night Since you've been away.
So you know - But why? I mean, what's the deal? Are you listening to me, or are you just-- Yeah, no, but why are you having every night? I mean, there's not- you haven't been-- Because I had my deadline.
My book had to be finished by Tuesday, lunchtime, Whilst you've been swanning around.
Yeah, swanning around! You know, leaving me with two kids off school, Three dogs, a deadline, And four parties I went to by myself.
What am I missing here? I mean, where does "swanning around" Come into my life? Seriously, just chill.
Excuse me? I definitely underestimated, when I moved here, How much charles was gonna be away working.
It was quite a shock for me.
Coming up OhMy gosh.
What's up, baby? Charlotte! How are you? Mwah! Happy birthd.
You done good, baby.
You done good.
Thank you.
What's going on? - Want some coffee? - You're damn skippy.
Help yourself, baby.
Help yourself.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
So, charlotte, what are people talking about? What are people saying about my party? Um, I think everybody had a great time, honestly.
It was a lot of fun.
A fabulous night.
There's just one thing that I have to tell you about.
I did not want to ruin your night, Because it was your birthday, and it should be perfect.
Oh, charlotte.
Um, I got a call from michaele's attorney.
He called you? He called me, yes.
It was very odd.
I'm, like, "what are you calling me for?" And he's, like, "I need you to put in writing "that my clients, michaele and tareq salahi, Are not gonna have to pay for this party.
" Charlotte, I'm hoping this is an exaggeration.
No, I'm not exaggerating.
What he said, basically, was "my clients will not Come this evening.
" That's what he started with.
So they were threatening not to come to They were threatening not to come Unless I could put in writing That they weren't gonna be held liable, which was ridiculous.
That's why she didn't show up To the four seasons, I bet.
I think they just wanted to give the appearance That they were hosting - Hosting the party - Right.
And bringing the wine.
Which he brought one bottle of champagne That he lanced on lynda's ass.
This is a tareq thing to me.
Well, I don't know them well enough to say.
- Well, I do.
- I know, I know.
And I don't see her getting with her lawyer And concocting some b.
S.
Like this.
A signed document saying That you're not gonna pay for anything To go in somebody's party? No, that's not what a good friend would do.
Honey, wait a minute.
Look at the eiffel tower right there.
- Oh, my god.
- It's right there.
Oh, I'm so happy to be here! Yeah, this is a good spot.
This is a good spot.
Honey, do you know the last time we were here Was, like, four years ago.
Oh, my god, has it been that-- And check this out.
I love this.
Jason and I share a love for adventure.
Hello, madam.
Hello,onsieur.
Bonjour, bonjour.
Merci beaucoup.
- You have to talk in french.
- Oh, sorry.
He can understand you.
- Un peu.
Un peu.
- Un peu? I speak french, you know: Je parle francais un peu.
That means, "I don't speak much french.
" When I go to France, I butcher their language to death.
I'm not sure I'm making sense to anybody, But I am doing my darndest.
- What is your last name? - Turner.
- Turner.
Mr.
And mrs.
Turner? - Yes.
- Oh, my gosh! - Jason! - So great to see you! - Great to see you guys.
Wow.
Wow.
I still really didn't believe that they were in paris.
Michaele, this is our friend walter.
You met walter? Hi, how do you do? Nice to meet you.
You know, stacie, this is the most famous shopping In all of paris here.
Oh, I ve it.
See, we're normally near the champs-elysees, But, oh, my god, this is ntastic.
All right, well, listen, have a glass of champagne, yeah.
There's a $1,000 bottle of dom perignon Sitting on ice out there.
Wait a minute, the last time we were around some champagne-- Walter, you did not see this.
He cut the .
I sliced the top of the bottle of champagne off With a saber.
And you learned this from what samurai? Michaele and tareq are unlike any of our friends.
Cheers.
We're so thrilled to be here in paris.
Our other favorite city.
He is extravagant.
He's just extravagant in everything that he does.
I just think that's how they roll.
Okay, here's to another great date.
Our friendship grows.
Global bff.
Yeah.
Bff forever.
Hello? Hi, paul.
W are you? I'm good.
What's going on? What's going on? I haven't spoken with you in a while.
How are you? Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Oh, my gosh.
You've got to be kidding me.
I received an invitation that paul wharton's birthday party Was gonna be hosted by michaele salahi.
In d.
C.
, etiquette says that if you are hosting the party, That means you are paying for the party.
Tareq and michaele didn't even pay for the cake.
Didn't even pay for anything.
And the fact that she was going to paris, It's absolutely appalling to me.
If you can go to paris, You certainly should be able to contribute To airday party that you're hosting.
I just want you to know that I'm here for you and love you.
Anytime.
Hey.
Hey, stacie.
How you doing? Are you excited? Beat assailant, aka my brother-in-law, Is number one on the charts, And he's introduced an entirely new genre Of music to paris.
I'm just glad y'all are here.
We are just so proud of that kid.
After college, adam just picked up And moved from atlanta to paris, And could not speak a lick of french, All to pursue his music passion.
I'm pumped up for him.
I mean, you know, he's about to go out there And do the damn thing.
B.
A.
! B.
A.
! B.
A.
! Oh, you can tell that michaele is a party girl.
She was right at home in the concert.
It was just so funny to see tareq let loose.
He didn't have on a sport coat, he wasn't stuffy anymore.
He was groovin' with his wife, she was groovin' with me.
I looked over there at one point, And she was trying to dance up on stacie.
I was, like, "oh, okay.
It's getting a little euro here, but you know, it's all good.
" Bravo! Bravo! This is the best time we've ever had, And I love it That we met you all.
The salahis are going to be hanging with the turners.
Coming up I don't want to be anywhere near-- Wherever my seat is, it better be On the other side of the mountain.
Well, where is our host and hostess? - How's school? - OK Today we had an assembly about "sexting.
" Sexting? - Yeah.
Meghan I don't think I've ever heard you use that word-- SssssThe "s" word.
What is sexting? I haven't heard it as "sexting.
" I knew it was sex texting.
Do you know anyone who's done that? Really? Wow, I'm not ready for you to be Even hearing about all this.
Oh, meghan! And there you are.
You can figure out how you want the bags Set up on you, or we'll take a look After you sort of visually get them on your arm.
I'm doing a photo shoot for the cover of my book.
Charles was in new york, and so he had to cancel me, His wife.
How many bags can one woman hold at once? Down, bag! I'm not about putting on fake appearances, And I want my book to represent me, Which is not about shopping and looking glamorous.
I like that a lot.
Now laugh real loud.
- Laugh? - Yeah.
You're a good fake laugher.
Yeah, I know.
I don't know whether they like-- I don't know whether they want the laughing.
But okay, we can try it anyway.
Just as an option.
All right, angle your right foot more.
You actually want me to take steps? Yes, exactly.
Stop.
Think runway.
So-- - Think runway, sweetie.
- So you're crossing.
This time a little more dangerous.
Oh I struggle with letting people tell me what to do When I don't feel that it's right.
Hold it.
Close your lips.
A little more shocking.
That looks good.
Okay, so see, you look great.
Uh, this looks a bit, umStaged.
That's the kind of thing they're after, I think.
So you know, I need to give them what they want.
- Right.
- Right.
Let's do the one over the shoulder, And then, um, I think we're done.
Okay.
Stay like that.
Perfect.
Nice.
Hold it like that.
Now you can relax a second.
Hey, it's charlie.
I was really happy when charles showed up Because I just couldn't wait to see him.
Charles was undoubtedly thinking, "I'm gonna get her changed, Get her looking the way she should look.
" I knew he couldn't wait to get me out of there.
If there's anyone that could photograph me, And I could feel comfortable in front of, it's charles.
Whew.
Here we are.
This is where we're going, darling, So park anywhere you can.
I've always wanted to come and shoot something here.
I always liked this kind of huge hole in the ground Kind of feeling.
And then we're going to go down a bit further, okay? Just a mild vertigo.
Okay, well, it is pretty hardcore up here, That's great.
Stay just like that.
Perfect.
And we're moving across a little bit.
Lots of attitude, baby.
I love watching charles work Because he's so talented, And he's so clever at what he does, And he puts so much thought into it.
Oh, this is nice.
Stay just like that.
That's great.
And, of course, my husband makes me feel Much better behind the lens.
Great.
So hopefully they'll be happy with what we've done.
I think we've pretty much got it in the bag.
Yeah, and I prefer it without all the shopping bags as well.
- I hate the shopping bags.
- Me too.
See ya, dupont circle.
Well done, then.
We could not have had a better day for shopping.
This is so fun, shopping.
Like, for us, it's so cool To be here and to have family here.
And, you know, to have new friends come here, Which was totally unexpected.
And what's so cool is that, you know, Jason's family has really become my family.
'cause you don't know that much about me, But I was adopted when I was a baby.
So like, six months.
- Oh, okay.
Michaele seems to have a really nice and sweet heart, So I just want to share with her This journey that I'm on to find my birth parents.
And you know, when you're adopted, You just don't know what your family history is.
Right.
You still want to know, like, who you are.
Right.
I would.
I'm like you- I would want to know.
So I started on this whole journey Of trying to find my birth mother.
Found out information about her.
- You did? - Well, we made contact, But we've had a complete breakdown.
- In what sense? - And the breakdown-- Well, the breakdown is coming in that I also want to know my birth father, And I'm totally interested in that side of the family.
But she will not tell me anything.
In my life, I feel like I have everything.
The only thing that I don't have Is an answer to, "who are my blood relatives?" Will she let you know who your dad is? She's, like, "no, I can't tell you because, one, He doesn't know about you.
" And I'm, like, "what do you mean?" He doesn't know about you-- the dad? Your dad? - No.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
So, I mean, it could be-- it's crazy.
It's crazy.
- But I love that you set out On the journey to find her- I would do that.
Can you imagine being the parent of that beautiful child, And never knowing it? That's not fair to him.
All I want is the information on where he is, And for him to know that, hey, I exist.
"I'm out here.
" that's a story.
That's a great honor.
That's a privilege To have someone open up their heart.
It made the paris trip so much more special.
I love spending time with you.
- I know.
- It's great.
- We're here! - Oh, my god! - Hi.
- Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Who are you? I never see you with straight hair.
I know, I love it.
This is the first time I've ever seen it.
Oh, nice.
Isn't this hot? - Is this where we're spooning? - Uh-huh.
I'm in the middle.
I would consider ted and jason besties.
For sure.
We have become very tight.
Are we excited about the party? I'm so excited, I can't even begin To tell you.
All we had to do was put your name on the invitation, And it went from, like, 6 people coming to 30.
Oh, stop.
Ted knows that I know some key players In fashion and the social world of d.
C.
- To fabulous friends - Yes.
And the movers and shakers of d.
C.
Getting all together.
I am so giddy.
Well, you know, the glam squad is gonna be here.
- Okay.
Awesome.
- They're on their way.
We'll figure out where we're gonna put everybody So we can get everybody dolled up-- Hair done, makeup done.
All the girls are coming to the event tonight, And we're gonna get our hair and makeup done By the ted gibson team.
Are you ready for me, honey? - I am.
what do you think about this? Rapunzel, rapunzel - Jewels.
It is about jewelry.
How was, um, paul's party? It was quite chaotic.
The salahis were the center of attention.
Apparently, the salahis didn't contribute anything To the whole evening.
And she was a co- and she was a co-hostess.
Wait, wait.
That's hilarious.
Because the day after paul's party, I was coloring one of my guest's hair - Yes? - And she was at the party.
And tareq came over to her table And said, "I hope that you're all having a great time, Because I spent a lot of money on this party.
" Oh, my gosh.
Oh, that's Can we talk about my hair? Can we change the subject and talk about my hair? Mary - Hi.
How are you.
- Hi.
Whoo! - Cherie! Hi, baby.
Bon soir! Mm, how are you? Oh, are you speaking english or french? - darling! - Come, come.
- I'm gonna go get dressed.
- We'll see you in a minute.
- Hi, darling.
- Hey.
How are you? - Good.
The last few times that I've seen cat, She's really rubbed me the wrong way.
I feel like I really don't know where cat is coming from.
Just a, like, a natural brown.
I love being pampered.
I kind of heard through the grapevine About the michaele scenario.
All right, I don't want to be anywhere near-- Wherever my seat is, it better be On the other side of the mountain.
All of a sudden there broke out All this talk about michaele, and I was just, like-- I don't understand.
Ted gibson, and then me, and then you.
- Oh, good.
- And then I think it's you.
Oh, yay.
- Then--and then- -and then them.
I think.
Then and then and then and then and then and then And then and then and then and then and then and then.
meow.
I didn't even realize that there was friction Between those two people.
That's why I wanted to give you a little heads-up-- YeahThat I mean, I just don't want to be aggravated tonight.
I don't need that today.
- Yeah.
Goodie bags! I love goodie bags.
Oh, look at this.
Oh, my god.
- Wow, this is beautiful.
- Very nice.
Very nice.
Hello.
Hi! You look magnificent.
- Thank you.
- How was paris? - Paris was great.
It was so spontaneous.
It was absolutely fantastic.
Hello, hello, hello! Hello, stacie! How are you, love? Great to see you.
We had such a great time together.
- It was the best concert.
- We danced.
- No, she's a hip-hopper.
- Stop it.
There's a whole nother side here That we didn't know existed.
You look great.
Well, where is our host and hostess? Oh, yay.
That's all right.
The last time I talked to lynda Was at paul's party, And, whew-- that was drama.
And you know what I've learned is move forward And forgive them.
I looked at tareq and I looked at michaele, And I thought, "I don't want to be in your energy field.
"I'm not going to be rude, "but I'm not going to go out of my way To speak with you either.
" Oh, my gosh.
I haven't seen michaele since my birthday.
So I have a little beef with michaele, But I decided that it's ted's night, And I don't want to take it up with her right there.
Hi, everybody.
Thanks, everyone, for coming.
We want to have a fantastic dinner with, I think-- Well, actually, we think The most spectacular people in d.
C.
And this is the man.
We're so proud to have him in d.
C.
Thank you.
And thanks for joining us, guys.
- Thanks for joining us.
- Thank you.
Wow.
My god, that looks amazing.
- So tell me about paris.
- Oh, my god.
Dancers, singers It was ridiculous.
Stacie and I haven't got to hang out much.
And maybe she's got the wrong impression of me Because I know a lot of people do.
This is so divine.
I totally love cat.
I think she's hilarious.
And I love the fact that she calls it like she sees it.
Cat is our new soul sister.
Here's to my new soul sister.
Our new soul sister.
You're our new soul sister.
Now Oh, my god.
- Cat is our new soul sister.
- Our new soul sister.
And actually, if you can sing, We'll let you be diana ross.
I know.
Diana.
Okay.
Okay Erika just turned around and said, "what, so she can be the token black woman?" I just thought, "oh, my god, Where the hell did that just come from?" It was so shocking And so inappropriate and aggressive-- Wanting to cause a fight with somebody.
It was, like, I don't think so.
I found it absolutely incredible.
Coming up next She's really barking up the wrong tree with me Because I'm so not racist in any way.
I'm sponsoring the south america World cup cirque du soleil.
At the dinner, something happened Between erika and cat, And cat got up from the table and walked outside.
So I got up and walked out after her.
What heck did you catch tonight? Lynda said something about, "oh, you can be diana ross, " about stacie.
But she took it, for her friends, As if lynda was maybe insulting her or kind of-- Do you know what I mean? I think erika might have been quite jeals Of my meeting all these people And becoming friends with people, And she's quite, kind of, territorial.
And I think it prevented me From getting to know stacie better Because erika was like her kind of guard dog.
She kind of accused me of being racist as well, Which I am quite offended by.
She's really barking up the wrong tree with me Because don't have any issues.
And I'm really quite shocked Because I'm so not racist in any way.
- Oh, and I know that.
- Sexist, racist The first day I ever met you, I was the one black person across the room, And you were, like, "you!" Oh, my god, interracial love.
- Don't kiss me- - you're gay and you're colored! Come on back here, you white woman.
Thank god for paul because he always makes me laugh.
And he knows I'm not racist, sexist--in any way prejudiced.
When I met michaele-- listen, this is a true story.
She gained at least 20 pounds In beautiful places after we met.
Some people make fun of michaele not eating, But you know what, she has gained weight Ever since she married mr.
Salahi here.
Mr.
Salahi! I think that tareq became very defensive About her eating habits.
I think he's just defensive about it Because he's looking at her, And he can't possibly believe that that looked healthy.
She'll eat a whole filet mignon, A whole chicken breast.
That's more than I eat.
Cheers to you, ted! A votre sante! - Yay! I think he's obnoxious.
He's turning off everyone.
No wonder she's so skinny.
She's living with tareq.
We're married six years November 1st.
Am I a good husband that I know the date? - Okay.
- I am good.
I think michaele looks tired and stressed.
And if it comes down to stress, Then you change your life.
Get rid of your husband.
On the next real housewives of d.
C.
- - Whoo! Tareq, I know you're american, but let's have some manners.
- Cat - Let's just move forward.
Let's love everybody.
Love! Let's love everybody! Love is better than being bitchy towards everybody.
They snuck in and had no tickets.
Snuck into the congressional black caucus dinner? Oh, no.