The Rehearsal (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

Gold Digger

Okay, we're ready.
You can come down.
Okay.
Where are you?
- Batman and Robin!
- You notice anything different about us?
You want to put on this one?
- It's Batman's mommy.
- Cute.
I don't celebrate Halloween.
- What?
- I don't celebrate Halloween.
- You don't celebrate Halloween?
- No.
Was there a reason?
Because it's the highest
satanic holiday of the year.
So, the Satanists do sacrifices
on this day.
- There's sacrifices?
- Yes.
I thought it was just going door
to door for candy.
- Did you want to put on this?
- No.
- Mommy isn't gonna put on a costume.
- Why?
Mommy doesn't celebrate Halloween.
I guess there's a lot of ghosts
and that's scary for Mommy, maybe.
Yeah.
I've never seen
that celebrated anywhere.
Because you won't see it
because it's underground.
But where does it happen?
It happens at places
like Bohemian Grove
and lots of different places.
Have you ever heard
of Satanists?
- Yes.
- You should Google the origins.
- I saw another Batman mask.
- Okay, I had no idea.
Nathan, where have you been?
I thought it was just
trick or treating, really.
- Not everything is make-believe.
Some things are real.
You have to open your eyes to reality.
I had been a father for two days now,
and I was still getting my bearings.
Angela had such a grand vision
for her future life,
and I was starting to understand
what it meant to be a part of it.
She saw herself living
as a homesteader,
which she told me was a lifestyle
of self-sufficiency.
Leafy greens. Root veggies.
And some flowers.
- The tractor.
- Flowers.
That meant there was a lot
to do in the farm.
But I noticed it was mainly me doing it
while she was in the house
raising our
now three-year-old son.
The water need
to be evenly distributed.
- You can run a line or run a hose.
- Okay.
And make sure they
get down to the roots.
Okay.
I'm not much of a gardener,
and I definitely don't know
anything about irrigation,
but Angela seemed to prefer
- Thank you, Adam.
She was good at it.
Hello.
- Here are the eggs from the coop.
- Oh, nice.
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey. Who's that?
But for this rehearsal to function,
I needed to feel like a real family.
I just hoped that I could make that
happen with everything else
I had going on.
This is where he, you know,
everyday,
I'm wearing the necklace
like this and he's in this urn.
- These his ashes?
- Yeah, his ashes right in here.
Both of my grandpas are here.
What's that other thing
on the necklace?
- That's the Punisher emblem.
- What's that about?
I like the Punisher just because
he takes the law into his own hands
to, you know, punish the people
that wronged him.
I had a number of rehearsals
already lined up
when I moved into the house.
Which meant
I was now having to balance
my time between work and family.
- Nice to meet you, Patrick.
- He's an actor,
- he'll be playing your brother.
- Okay, cool.
This guy I met named Patrick
had an unresolved issue with his brother,
who is the executor
of their late grandfather's will.
You know, my grandpa
in the will, he'd stated,
if I'm going gonna
be dating a gold digger,
that I shouldn't be allowed
my money to protect it.
- It said in the will?
- Yeah.
- You can't date a gold digger?
- Yeah.
And my brother considers
all the girls I've dated recently,
that they're a gold digger
out for money.
Can I get the Caniac Combo?
Patrick wanted to change
his brother's mind
about his girlfriend being a gold digger
at a Raising Cane's
Chicken Finger restaurant.
A place their grandpa used
to take them
as an annual family tradition
when he was alive.
He said if you are with somebody
that can't be trusted with money,
then I'm not supposed
to give it to you.
And as long as you're with Nes,
I'm not giving it to you.
A gold digger, but she's not.
She's a penny pincher.
She's a Jew about it.
And you know how the Jews
are 'bout that kind of thing.
She just penny pinches and she's not
one to hurt me in that regard.
I'm trying to just calibrate,
because to me it's like,
"Oh, that's an anti-Semitic
stereotype."
I got you.
It is a personal conversation
with you and your brother
and I do want you to be yourself.
My brother would say
a similar thing.
- It would work?
It's like, "Oh, you know,
don't be so Jewish like to me on things."
Yeah, I mean
if that's how you communicate.
I don't want you to use language
Patrick's rehearsal presented
some fascinating dilemmas,
that I saw as an opportunity
to advance the art of rehearsing.
At what point in the conversation
would you wanna say Nessa's a Jew?
The biggest challenge
was that he couldn't seem
to follow any coherent strategy,
and I couldn't figure out why.
I mean, he needs logic,
- He keeps planes from crashing.
- Yeah.
I don't know how much
An arm wrestle's
I get what you're saying.
On my first day with him,
I stayed pretty late.
- And when I got home,
- Adam was already in bed.
There you go.
You just did it when you moved
the small hand under the big hand.
And by the time Angela
finished her bedtime story,
it was too late for mine.
This was actually a book
that Adam picked off the shelf
from the book up.
The shelf upstairs.
Really?
Yep, he just picked
this one off the shelf.
And you've been reading it?
Yeah, I've just been looking at the
different kinds of flowers in there.
Cool.
Does he ever ask
about me or anything?
I don't think so.
Not that I could think at the moment.
Good morning.
- How are you?
- I'm great, thank you.
How much?
- Is that enough?
- Yep.
I told Angela
that I would take Adam for the day
to give her time
to work on her Etsy business
selling home-made skin creams.
- Hey, here's your tea.
- Hi.
- Oh, thanks.
- Thank you. Thanks.
- For breakfast. Okay.
Do you know if it's gluten-free?
There are several components
to a good rehearsal.
So far, my focus has been
on practicing the actions
and the words that you're likely
to encounter in your real life.
This is where Daddy works.
- This is Adam, he's my son.
- Hey, Adam.
She's not doing that at all,
dude. You don't know her.
- She is a gold digger.
- Dude, she's not.
But I've recently come to realize
I've been neglecting one key component
of every crucial life event.
Feelings.
When I did my rehearsal with Core,
he was able to master the verbal
and physical choreography
of his situation.
I've decided to give you a little buzz.
But when it came time
to confess his lie at the real bar
to his real friend, he completely froze.
It's like you could see the adrenaline
running through his veins.
The pressure of the real
situation finally hit him.
And this is something that never
happened once in his rehearsal.
Which means, I failed to prepare him
for how he would feel.
Me spending time with Adam
has only confirmed this theory.
I'm acting like a dad, but I definitely
don't feel like one, that's a problem.
So, how can I prepare Patrick
for the feeling of sitting
across from someone
who's withholding an inheritance
he feels entitled to?
Well, there's a part of this rehearsal
I've been keeping secret from Patrick
to accomplish exactly this.
Hey, Pat.
Hey, man. My family barn's
not too far from here.
And there's a generator
that I have to actually move
for the day
out of that barn.
Yeah, I can help you move it.
After today's rehearsal,
I had the actor playing
Patrick's brother ask Patrick
out of character to help him move
an old generator at his grandpa's barn.
- I'm Johnny. Patrick.
- Patrick.
- Nice to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you.
Thanks for coming out.
But this is not
the actor's real grandpa.
This grandpa is also an actor,
but Patrick doesn't know that.
- What's all this?
- They're filming me.
I'm not in a documentary.
They're not filming you, Grandpa,
- All right. Nice.
- Yeah.
- That's it, yeah?
- Yeah.
- I got one more thing.
- It's date night, I can't stick around.
- "Date night"?
- Yeah.
- I'll help you out.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. I can help out.
Dude, that's not his job to do.
It's your job!
I hope she fuckin' leaves you.
You can help me with this?
Yeah, I can help you out.
What do you need?
And that's when the grandpa reveals
that beneath the floorboards
is a map leading to some gold
that he had buried
on his property years ago
to avoid taxes.
There's just a lot of
Yeah.
I need to get it out.
I can't tell you how much
I appreciate this.
Over the next several hours
I needed Patrick
and this old man to form a bond.
I used to help my grandpa all the time
whenever he needed something.
My younger brother, he never really
kinda would do it.
He was always joking around.
- But you were there.
- That's the way I was raised too.
- Yeah.
A bond strong enough
that will result in this grandpa
including Patrick in his will.
Just days before he drops dead
of natural causes.
So then, the only thing standing
in the way of Patrick
getting this inheritance
is the will's executor,
the actor playing Patrick's brother.
Giving Patrick's rehearsal
the exact same stakes,
and hopefully, the exact same feelings
as his reality.
But before meeting up with them,
I had to take Adam home for his nap.
I don't know if you'd be open
to a part-time nanny maybe
- Oh, a part-time nanny?
Yeah. I would be open to that.
That way you could do your work
and I could do mine.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
If we can find a person we trust.
Yeah, okay. I'll see you later though.
- Okay, see you later, Nathan.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
- You're good to put Adam to bed?
- Yes.
Patrick and the old man had been
searching for the gold for hours.
Two men in the woods
building trust as only men do.
Like, I'm pretty loyal to
the things that, like, I like.
Kind of like, if it's food, I like pizza.
And then I like chicken.
- And then I like steak.
- What kind of pizza you like?
- Cheese pizza, simple and plain.
- That's it, huh?
I mean I like pepperoni but it gives
heartburn like a motherfucker.
But before finding it,
there was one more thing
I hoped would cement their bond.
Hold on a minute,
I got a little issue here.
No worries.
Patrick frequently cited
changing his grandpa's diaper
in his final years as evidence
of why he deserved his inheritance.
you never changed his diapers.
Whenever he went to the bathroom,
"I need to change my underwear,"
you know, "D'you have boxers?"
I'm over there wiping grandpa's ass,
while we were watching Dragon Ball Z.
I wanted Patrick to have
a similar experience with this grandpa.
- Patrick.
- Yup.
I wonder if you could
give me a hand here.
What's that?
- Sorry, man.
- No worries.
All right, is there any mess
back there?
I need a cleanup on aisle ten
or anything?
- There you go.
- Thank you.
It was a beautiful moment,
but I couldn't help but feel sad knowing
that this old man would soon be dead,
and I was the one who would have
to break the news.
Hold that for me.
- That's awesome.
- Yeah, you see them bad boys?
Yeah, very cool.
- That's not silver, baby. That's gold.
- Nice.
Every one of them fuckers
is worth somewhere
- around two grand right now.
- Nice.
I don't really got a lot
I want you to have some of this.
Well that'd be cool,
You've done more for me you've been
kinder to me today
than my own grandson
has for the last year.
I can't take it with me.
- That's true.
- Well, shit.
Good working with you, sir.
So I'm just gonna get this all appraised
and I'll call you in a week.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You earned it and a lot more
and you're gonna get a lot more.
So, we just got a call from Isaac,
the actor playing Patrick's brother,
and sadly, he's had
a death in the family,
so we're gonna take the day off
from rehearsing today.
Cool.
how about we spend some time
with our families and
cherish every moment
because you never know
when it's gonna be your last.
- Sorry about that. Yeah.
- No worries.
- Pick up on a different day?
- Yeah, definitely.
Oh, Hermie! Good to see you.
Hey, I heard what you said.
Have you ever lied?
Yeah, there have been times
that I didn't tell the whole truth.
So, you're a liar?
Well, no, I mean, I don't make
a habit out of lying.
- Then I can't believe anything you say.
- Why not?
All right. Isaac, everyone.
- Thanks for coming in.
- Oh, thanks, man, I appreciate it.
You sure you're okay
to rehearse today?
Yeah. I wanna get back into it.
It'll take my mind off my grandpa.
- Okay, cool.
- Yeah.
We're just back at the table?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, dude.
- I'm sorry, man.
- Hey, thank you. Appreciate it.
I mean, I know you guys got
to spend some time together.
- Yeah, it was cool, you know?
- He obviously liked you.
It was cool, you know.
You know, your grandpa was
cool. I'll tell you that.
- Thanks, man.
The foundation had been laid.
And Patrick was about to be thrust
into the exact situation
he had come to rehearse.
Yeah, there was something
I went to the hospital and saw
my grandpa before he passed
and he told me he was pretty adamant
about that he wanted you
to have some of his gold?
Yeah. He was really, you know,
excited about finding it,
like, we found it from his map
and everything.
He clearly wanted
you to have it.
So, you guys made some kind
of connection, which is great.
It's awesome.
I'll never forget that.
You know, that was awesome.
- Yeah.
- You know?
I want to honor that,
but also, I feel little bit uncomfortable
giving you the gold
because everything I know
about Nessa being a gold digger.
It makes me feel like
if I give you the gold,
what's to stop her from just
taking it and leaving you.
Nessa isn't a gold digger
But I mean, like,
he wanted it to go to you
and I'm a little bit afraid
In regard to Nessa
being a gold digger, she's not.
And I would just say
- I feel bad 'caus
if we hadn't had tis conversation
about Nessa's past,
I wouldn't even know
to think this.
But you don't know her,
so she's like a nobody to you.
All I know is, like,
what you told me about her.
Yeah, I told you great things
about her too,
so I mean, why are you
only picking on one side?
I could tell Patrick
was getting quite worked up,
so I took him aside and said
he could deal with this stuff
on his own time,
so we could begin rehearsing.
Hey, Chris.
- How's it going?
- You started without me.
You were taking
a second longer, but it's okay.
What do you need to talk about?
I'm telling you right now,
Nessa's not a gold digger.
She's been helping me out,
you know,
and my life has been better
because of her.
You should be able to say,
"Hey, look, you know what,"
you believe me on that. Okay?
But I mean,
I think in Nessa's case, like,
she's hoping that you get
this inheritance money, right?
- Well, I wish you could trust me more.
You know, I'm sorry
that you have any resentment
built up towards me,
you're still my younger brother,
and I love you, you know.
Congratulations for doing
everything you're doing, you know.
that communication no more.
And I wish we did sometimes.
I wasn't sure what strategy
Patrick was using,
but it wasn't one we had rehearsed.
You know, 'cause it's, like,
I haven't been able to grieve so much
'cause there's been lawyers fighting
this whole time since he passed away.
I have yet to have the day
where I just sit and cry about it.
Yeah, I'm tired of having
little spurts about it.
I want it to be one and done.
find it in your heart, how Big Wilf
would've wanted you to,
and just give me my portion.
Where I don't have to fight you on it,
where I don't have to call you about it.
I could just handle it my way
and it'd be done.
That's what I want.
I think that's what he would want.
So, please. We're brothers, you know,
we're supposed to be working together.
I'm tired of living like
it's the day after he died.
So, please, just let me move on,
man. Just let me have it.
And all right, it's your life,
it's your money,
it's what grandpa wanted for you
You're a man and you deserve
to make your own decisions.
- Thank you, Chris. Yeah.
- Yeah, man.
- Okay, give me a hug.
- Yeah.
Thank you, Chris.
- I love you, brother.
- I love you too.
All right, all right.
I'm done crying.
Thank you.
Something had happened
inside Patrick,
and it seemed like
we had made a breakthrough.
But this would only be a success
if he could repeat it with his brother.
- Which one do you want?
- Uh, watermelon.
Oh, watermelon.
Yeah, the nanny's running a little late.
But I can, I'll come by right after.
- Hi! How are you?
- Hi. Good, I'm Destiny.
- Destiny, yeah. Thanks for coming.
- It's right here.
- This is Angela.
- Hi!
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- That's Adam.
- You too. Thank you.
- Yeah, welcome.
I have around eight years' experience.
Began originally with my church
as a church leader.
So, Angela and I are kind
of in a non-traditional,
non-romantic relationship.
We're here to co-parent this child
as part of a rehearsal.
- It's a simulated experience.
Before deciding if we wanna do it
in our real lives.
Separately.
- Okay.
- Yeah, separately.
We wouldn't together, yeah.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, so the extensive camera
set up here is not because
we don't trust you.
- Yeah, they're not nanny cams.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
So, this is a camera in regards
to the production?
- Okay.
Same with the timer, I see.
Yeah, the clock is a countdown clock
'cause this is an actor.
They can only work
for a certain amount of hours.
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Okay, bye, Adam.
- Why?
- I'm going to work.
Come on.
But when I got to the warehouse,
Patrick wasn't there,
and no one could track him down.
So, I just had to wait.
I don't want you.
I don't want you.
When I finally got him on the phone,
he told me he was at an amusement
park with his girlfriend.
I kinda had plans with the girlfriend now
What's that cake called?
Funnel cake. Like, I've never
had funnel cake before.
- Okay.
- So, yeah.
a little bit of funnel cake.
- Treat myself for a second.
- Right.
He said I could come join him
for funnel cake if I wanted.
But by the time I got there,
his cell phone had died
and I couldn't find him.
I never heard from Patrick again.
Maybe for some,
the rehearsal itself is enough.
What is it? Why do you keep
turning away from me?
I was starting to wonder
how I could so easily
create feelings inside
other people's rehearsals
- when I couldn't do it for myself.
- Where are you going?
Okay, I'll just leave it here
with you and then you can change it
when you're ready, okay?
This is the day
Mommy bought you home.
- You were just a baby.
- Yeah.
I had a photo album
made that blended false memories
with real ones to help fill in the gaps
and enhance the feeling
of a complete life.
Thomas, the train!
I need to go there now!
Time moved differently in here,
and I was still getting used to it.
- It was behind it, here.
- Okay, yeah. It was.
When your three-year-old son
- Adam?
- Yes, Dad?
And emerges as a six-year-old
a minute later,
it can be hard to stay in the moment.
Um, so what
do you wanna do today?
So, you need to have
custom digital mirrors installed
that allow you to see yourself
age at the same pace as your child.
But that means the world around you
has to move faster too.
Seeds that are planted one week
have to be plump vegetables the next.
Nature's timeline
and your brain desperately tries
to adapt to your new reality.
And then every now and then,
- That was kind of fun, huh?
- These moments where you forget
and you just feel like a family.
You're gonna get me?
Don't get me!
You threw it! What the heck!
That's when you know
the rehearsal is working.
No! Help. I'm dead.
I often feel envious of others.
The way they can immerse themselves
in a world with so little effort.
The way they can just believe.
I Googled origins of Halloween and
it came up Celtic tradition.
Did you do a keyword search?
"Halloween satanic origins?"
To gather only what they need to know
and ignore the rest.
Yeah, and Google's really censoring
a lot of stuff now.
That's weird. Why would Google be,
like, incentivized to suppress results
like that, like,
what do they have to gain?
'Cause they're controlled by the Devil.
- Google is?
Yeah, and the Devil's biggest trick
is to convince people
that he doesn't even exist.
Yeah, maybe let's not talk
about this around the kids.
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
These are smart labels and covers.
I think we need to take that part off.
Emotions are a funny thing.
They're not easy to engineer.
After all, there's only so much
you can do to deceive yourself.
And even when you think of everything
there will always be things you forget.
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