The Rehearsal (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

Scion

What's his real name again?
- Charlie.
- Charlie. Charlie, right.
Hi, Charlie.
She's putting a hat on him.
She's putting a hat.
We have to put on a hat.
We have to put on a hat,
it's not gonna match.
Do you have a hat?
Put him in the hat.
There we go.
It's just a hat, you're okay.
Okay. Wait till she clears the room.
Okay, go, she's clear.
Go, go, go, now, now, now.
Now.
And we're out.
- Hi. Yeah.
- Okay. You are a sweetheart.
All right, thank you everyone.
Great work.
Most people say that nothing can
prepare you for becoming a parent.
But most people don't have the
resources to hire dozens of child actors
to create around the clock
simulation of parenthood.
To raise a child from zero to 18
over the course of two months
before deciding if you want
to have one yourself.
That's the rehearsal
I'm giving Angela,
a 44-year-old woman who has
chronically put off having children
because the circumstances
have never been quite right.
Within the right context.
Which is what?
In a marriage, with a man.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that makes sense.
- With the love of my life.
- No, I don't.
- Okay.
Yeah.
My challenge was simulating
the future life circumstances
she envisioned for herself
if she were to become a mother.
Are you seeing anyone you like?
- No.
- What about him?
- Just a little out of shape, maybe.
- What about him?
His outfit, it's too serious.
And Angela was very particular.
I think I'll bring
this air purifier too.
So, we had to relocate her
from her studio apartment
to a rented house in rural Oregon
because she didn't want to raise
a kid in the city.
We'd probably have a house
with a couple of acres,
with food and animals.
We'd probably be online,
but we'd also have access
to go off the grid
because infant skulls
have not fully formed.
So, they absorb wireless radiation
a lot more than we do into their brains.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
But her fears made sense to me.
It's scary to imagine raising
a child when you always know
that a single misstep on your part
could ruin their entire life.
Angela's rehearsal began
with a simulated adoption
just like she envisioned.
Where I had the baby's
real mother give him away.
- Hi.
- Yeah. This is for the best.
He's better off with you
Thank you.
Maybe you can elaborate a bit
on why you're not suited to be a mom.
Yeah, I'm in school full time
I can give him that.
I tried to make every detail of the
experience as realistic as possible.
Is this something you would normally
hand off or anything, this situation?
- Okay.
Angela already had a name
in mind for her baby.
I think I've decided on Adam.
He likes it.
I knew a guy named Adam
Adam is a strong name.
- Like, Adam.
- Adam?
- Yeah.
- Okay, yeah.
Each week Adam will grow
three years, and for each age,
multiple child actors will be needed
in order to comply
with Oregon state labor laws
that limit the number of hours
a child can work.
With babies capped at four hours,
it required multiple switches each day,
which I tried to make
as seamless as possible
to keep the illusion of raising
a single child intact for Angela.
But just as important as her experience
was the well-being of the babies.
Ask them about aromatherapy.
on the soles of the feet.
Lavender on the soles of the feet?
The oil.
I had to keep track of everything
she wanted to do with these kids
and get the real parents' consent.
Lavender oil on soles of feet
to calm them.
- She can give it a shot if she wants.
- Okay. Lavender oil okay.
But the most important element
of Angela's future life
as a mother was still missing,
a man by her side.
Prior to the start of her rehearsal,
I'd encouraged her to meet up
with some of her dating app matches
to see if she could find someone
with the qualities
she was looking for in a co-parent.
I'm not saying that all
extra-biblical texts are bad
'cause definitely like the
Dead Sea Scrolls or The Apocrypha.
But a lot of believers of various
denominations don't really read the Bible
and they don't really know what it says.
So, that can be problematic
because then people start
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
For a while, it seemed like
she would never find a connection.
I was just wondering,
what scares you the most?
- In life.
First off, it's eels.
Until she met a guy named Robin.
Angela? Good to meet you.
How's your day?
- Nice to meet you. It's going crazy.
- All right. It's crazy?
No, it's good, it's fabulous.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah, same here.
- Oh, really?
- Absolutely blessed.
- It's a very good day.
- Very blessed.
- I agree with that.
- Yes.
This is the Lord's Prayer, Matthew 6:19
through 13 with a heartbeat monitor.
Nice.
Ask the Father, to give me everything I
need every day, take care of me.
I was like standing on the corner
drinking forties.
You know, smoking weed.
And, so God, like, pursued me though.
I made a few bad decisions
and ended up totaling my Scion TC
at 100 miles an hour.
- Oh, wow!
- Yeah.
I found myself upright.
- That's a testimony.
- Yeah.
- Amen.
- Amen.
I was hopeful Angela would want
to invite Robin to join her rehearsal.
But now, we were three days in
and she still wasn't sure.
For me, more than a ten-year difference
- And he might be younger than that.
- Maybe.
your rehearsal to reflect reality
- Yeah.
I can say, it can still be realistic
because my husband could be at work.
And I started to wonder
if she was less interested in an
accurate simulation of her future life
and instead just wanted
a fun vacation in her dream home.
I hadn't intended for this to be easy.
Since baby actors can't work pass 7:30,
the final switch of the night
was to a robot baby
that would mimic
the sleep patterns of a human baby.
To do this, I hired a local man
All right.
a live feed of a real baby
and manually make
the robot baby cry in sync.
Unfortunately, it turned out
he was not a night owl
and fell asleep within 15 minutes
of the start of his shift.
And the next night,
it happened again.
Robbing Angela of the experience
of being woken up throughout the night
and giving her the impression that
motherhood was a walk in the park.
- Hey, how's it going?
- It was all right, brother.
I'd be negligent if I didn't fix this.
Didn't you describe yourself
as a night owl.
Absolutely. Yes, indeed, yeah.
And once things were up
and running again,
Angela seemed to be craving
an extra set of hands.
Because within a day, she had set up
a second date with Robin.
Are you dressed for your date?
- I think so, yeah.
- You look great.
- Thank you.
But when I reminded her
it was her responsibility
to organize childcare,
things got a little tense.
I need more notice.
So, I have time to arrange a babysitter.
I mean, it's tough because I mean,
Our crew can't help out
with any child-raising tasks.
- So, let's reschedule.
- Right.
For like a week, you know,
next week or something.
Right.
I couldn't let this experience
go to waste for her,
so I insisted she go on her date
and just this once,
I broke my own rule
and offered to babysit myself.
How are you doing?
Okay, shall we walk a little bit?
- Okay.
- And I see MVP on license plates often.
- Gotcha.
- You're lying.
- MVP.
- No.
Swear right hand to God.
Oh, no, are you okay? Oh, no.
It's okay, it's okay.
What's your dream, like, for your life?
My dream has always been
to play in the NBA.
Oh, okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- How's it going?
- Good.
- Here you go, he's sleeping.
- Oh, good, thank you.
- I changed his diaper.
- Thank you for watching him.
Yeah, I've never changed
a diaper before.
How'd it go?
Pretty good,
but that doesn't matter.
How did it go with Robin?
- It was really great.
- Yeah?
Yeah, I had a good time with him.
There were a lot of amazing coincidences
Like what?
Just things that he was mentioning
about numbers
that have come up in his life.
You know, like, sometimes you seek
signs and numbers repeating.
So he felt like those were signs
that this was supposed to happen.
Okay.
So, Angela invited Robin
over to the house for a third date.
Where she would propose
that he joined her in raising her child.
- Hi.
- Hi.
He's kind of a top candidate
for to be a co-parent.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- They seem to get along well enough.
- Yeah.
- No, I think you're very clean.
- Come on. Don't I look clean?
There's actually a baby in the house.
- There is?
His name is Adam.
I was wondering if you would like
to meet him.
Really?
- Hi.
- How are you doing?
- This is not my baby.
- Okay.
what it's like to raise children.
It's for a project that is going on.
But it'll progress from like babies
then like toddlers, three-year-olds,
then like pre-teens, then teens.
- That's awesome.
- And there is cameras all over.
- All right.
- And there is also cameras in the house.
There's even a robot baby
that they leave overnight
and it wakes me up, and I have to get up
and feed it until it stops crying.
So I'm staying here.
It's, you know, obviously not my house.
- Okay. Right.
I was like, when do I move in?
Well, I mean, I was exploring the idea
of, I was wondering how you would feel
about participating, like co-participating
in something like this.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I think that that would definitely
be something that would entice me.
Okay.
Does he seem like the type of guy
you'd be comfortable
having around your baby?
Yeah, he seems like nice
I was wondering, you know,
'cause we're both believers.
What are your convictions
about purity, like, in dating?
As far as, like, sexual?
have sexual relations.
- You do.
- Yeah.
Okay. You know, I'm not giving this
for nobody, except my husband.
So, if there's, like, a temptation issue
you know, you were
to participate in this project.
Okay, like, I don't understand 'cause,
like, I know I'm a very attractive person.
- You know.
- Maybe.
- Yeah, you are.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
- You're beautiful.
- Thank you.
- All right.
- Bye.
All right.
Hey, man. Robin?
I'm Nathan.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Good to meet you.
Do you think you're interested
It sounds like something that I'm
definitely interested in without a doubt.
Would you want to try it out for tonight
Sure. 'Cause actually even
my roommate doesn't believe in Jesus.
- Is that a problem?
Yeah, it's a problem for me.
Yeah, definitely.
Robin said he needed to drive home
to get some stuff for the night,
so I tagged along to do my due diligence
on behalf of the parents.
Do you want me to hold your phone,
so you don't have to look down?
You mean, like, hold it up?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah.
maybe to have it on your lap.
Is that helpful?
- I mean, I do that all the time.
- Like this?
- Like have it on your lap?
- Yeah.
Watch out for that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Thirty-three miles till empty.
Jesus Christ was crucified at 33.
- Fifty-five on the mileage.
- Okay.
Big change transformation.
Thank grace, 22.
Turning all dreams
and desires into reality.
All right. Can I fill regular?
It just said 88.
- What's that?
- I looked at it when it said 88.
The miles going up, you mean?
They're going up. I looked at it at 88.
Eighty-eight, new beginnings.
And it's approaching 644
and what's a trip
is after I totaled my Scion TC
last April second at 100 miles an hour.
I had a Focus just like that
that I got blessed with for 200 dollars.
- Nice place.
- Thank you.
Do you have kinda, like,
three mattresses in here?
Remaining celibate.
You think you're gonna have
sex with her tonight?
Who knows?
The door is open, I guess. I don't know.
Do you use condoms?
Not really.
This?
The bong.
You know how to hit a bong, right?
I noticed as I was gonna make a
sandwich, we don't have mayonnaise.
- No?
- I was like, "What?"
- Yeah, buy some.
- Yeah.
'Cause I don't use mayo too much.
I saw 44 on a plate, and there was a car
with the Baby on Board Carlo sticker,
just like the one that was on my Scion TC
Hey,
I have a hard time seeing the
coincidences in just two numbers though.
It's just so crazy, I've seen 88, like,
the water that she offered me, 88 on it.
- The kid's name is Adam.
Why you think so much more
about numbers than you do, like,
the real-life experiences of,
I met this person, and she might be the
person for me. You know what I mean?
Like I would focus on that.
Thank you for your input.
- What are you stepping to?
- Squash it.
- What are you stepping to?
- Squash it.
- What are you stepping to, bruh?
- Squash it!
- What are you stepping to?
- What the fuck does that mean?
- What's up?
- What's up?
- You're stepping to me, bro.
- Hey, what's up?
- What's up?
- I'm right here.
Cross the fucking line then,
why you keep tripping on me?
- Quit fucking tripping on me, bro.
- God bless you, bruh.
- Good then.
- What was that about?
I was just telling him the truth
and his demon doesn't like the truth.
Do you want me to drive?
Because you kinda, like,
No, I can drive.
- Are you sure?
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Just in case.
I smoke and drive all the time.
- You don't have a license plate?
- No, it's okay.
But don't you need
a license plate to drive?
No.
You don't need
a license plate to drive?
No.
- Seventy-seven, this one's always here.
- Oh, yeah.
Seventy-seven and there's a cross
right behind 33.
Carne Asada tater tots,
no sour cream, no cheese.
Eighty-eight.
Hi.
- Hello.
- Welcome back.
If you hear the baby crying,
it is your turn to go in
and feed the baby the bottle.
Okay.
My Christian friends gonna be like,
"Oh, my gosh, you spent the night alone
"in the house with a man
who's not your husband?"
I know that the government has
sasquatch liaisons.
People that actually can communicate
with these creatures, and, you know?
I've heard a lot of different
whistleblowers come up online
and, you know, through different
Crying.
That's a loud one.
It can be scary to let
a new person into your life.
Press it again.
You have to open up your heart to them.
But you can never be fully sure
what their motives are.
Heavy cry.
- Heavy cry.
- Heavy cry.
- Keep him crying, don't let up.
- Okay.
And even if you wish for the best,
they often end up disappointing you.
- He's bailing.
- What?
He's bailing, he's leaving.
Wasn't cut out for it, I guess.
Not everybody is.
Sometimes I'm not sure
why I make the choices I do.
I transported a fake bar across
the country from New York to Oregon
just because I didn't want
to throw it away.
But I had no use for it here
and it didn't even fit
in the building they put it in.
I guess it's nice to have
something familiar around.
Especially because I was
gonna be out here for a while.
I was put up in a corporate suite
which was apparently their model unit,
so it had some nice amenities.
And I was allowed to bring my cats with
me which made it a little less lonely.
Maybe when everything around you
is so temporary,
you start longing
for something more permanent.
- Hey, hi.
- Hello.
Sorry about everything
that happened with Robin.
It's okay.
Sometimes things have to unfold
and you have
Yeah, I've been thinking a little bit
I mean, I don't have kids myself.
You know, I think I could be
I'm not sure.
- Yeah, it's hard to know.
- Yeah.
maybe it would be good for you to go
through this experience with someone
who could benefit from it as well.
Someone like me.
Obviously, it would just be
It wouldn't be romantic in any way.
Yeah, I think during this process
I wanted to have more communication
- With me?
- Yeah, ahead of time.
Is that a big yawn?
I know.
There you go. Good girl. It's all right.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I think just making sure
that we communicate.
Making sure everyone's
on the same page.
I think that's gonna be
a good thing to focus on.
It's definitely something that
I'm always trying to work on.
Cool, thank you.
I like to pray about things.
Okay.
And kind of see if I have
a peace about something.
Yeah, so I haven't really had
I know I'm in a position of power
when I say this to you,
so I don't want that to influence
your willingness to decide.
I want you to be honest with me
If it's something you don't want
to do, definitely,
I don't want there to be the,
- Right.
- Yeah.
Just off the top of my head, I would say,
"Sure, let's go with it."
- Why not?
- Okay. Yeah, okay.
Why not?
- Cool. This is gonna be fun.
- It will be. It's gonna be great.
Hi, Craig, this is Nathan Fielder
from The Rehearsal.
How are you, sir?
- Good, how are you?
- I'm fantastic.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm
going to be joining the rehearsal,
which means I'll be moving into the house
to perform co-parenting duties along
with the current participant, Angela.
Okay.
As promised, we would get your approval
for any changes to the plan,
so I'm just calling
to get your verbal consent
that allows me to participate and interact
with Perry in the capacity of father.
Is that something
I can get you to agree to today?
Yeah, I believe
that would be amicable.
It's actually great news for you
'cause now, there'll be two people looking
after Charlie instead of one.
- Isn't that exciting?
- Yeah, that's great.
I'm not sure if I sense
any hesitancy in your voice,
but if so,
it's completely understandable.
It's a strange experience
and I know this once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity is not for everyone.
So if you're feeling even
a slightest bit uncomfortable
and would like to opt out,
that's no problem at all.
I appreciate that.
But, no, I don't feel funny.
Well, excellent, we're thrilled to have
your continued commitment
to this groundbreaking project.
Awesome, thank you
for letting us be part of it.
- And I'm excited to see you very soon.
- All right, I'll see you soon.
And I'm excited to see Charlie.
Excited to see Tracy.
I'm excited to see Sawyer.
To see Nicholas soon.
- I'm excited to see Austin soon.
- Okay, thank you, Nathan.
- Okay, bye.
- Bye. Bye-bye.
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