The Rockford Files (1974) s06e01 Episode Script

Paradise Cove

I'm Althea Morgan.
I'm the court-appointed receiver.
I'm here to inventory your possessions.
Receiver? Well, you should have listed it as an asset securing a loan.
It's in hock! I think you should try to find a way to calm down.
Do you mind? I'm suggesting that you hire Mr.
Rockford as the security person here at the cove.
I don't do that kind of work.
What are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? What does it look like? I'm on patrol.
He's really different.
He's a sucker.
ALTHEA: Yeah, but he's a nice sucker.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS) Jim, this is Cal from the Leave the Whales Alone Club.
Our protest cruise leaves from the pier Saturday at 3:00 a.
The whales need you, Jim.
Well, I don't see what you're staying so mad for.
It ain't like it was the first bad breakfast you ever had.
Eggs courtesy of the US Rubber Company, orange juice you could put in your battery Hey! Oh, sonny.
A little help here.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't be in such a rush, huh? It gets kind of heavy, you know.
I keep forgetting that thing.
Hey, Dad Look, just look at him.
Don't pay him no mind at all.
The best thing you can do is forget all about it.
Well, how can I forget it? I'm gonna be paying for it the rest of my life.
You all right, Dad? Fine.
Well, I'll open the door.
Would you look at him out there.
Hey, there's no surfboards on this beach.
You all want to go surfing, go someplace else.
Enemy of surfers.
He totes that metal detector around How much do you think that thing weighs? Hey, I was thinking maybe I'd fix you up a couple of eggs.
Nice and soft, the way you like 'em.
I bet it weighs at least around like Hank Aaron.
I wonder how he does that with his ruptured vertebrae and his pinched nerve.
I might even be able to find a couple of them old English muffins in here if I reach (EXCLAIMING) Sonny! Dad! Dad! Dad.
Dad, darn it, I told you to sit down.
Now, will you please sit down? I was just trying to fix you up a little breakfast.
Yours got ruined.
Yeah, I know, Dad.
I'm sorry.
It's just that I've had a bad couple of months.
Everything I've done has gone wrong, and paying $35,000 to that grizzly old beachcomber just about ruined the year beyond any chance of repair.
Well, after all, you did run into him with the truck.
I wonder.
I really wonder.
I wouldn't mind losing the judgment.
No, if there'd been one broken bone among all those un-X-rayable injuries, just one.
Oh, come on, sonny.
(SIGHING) Dad, I guess you're right.
I just got to get myself together and take a whole new attitude.
I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you what.
Today is the beginning of all good things that are going to happen, right? Let's you and me go fishing, huh? Just you and me, out on the pier.
We'll reel in some big ones.
What do you say? Oh, sonny, I don't know.
I don't handle this Yes, sir! Why don't we do that? We'll go fishing.
I'll tell you what, the reels and the poles are all in the truck.
You go get 'em, sonny, huh? Okay, Dad.
They can't hurt us anymore.
We're on top of it now.
Are you all right? Yeah, yeah.
I used to dodge cars for a living, then I took to running over other people.
It's not as profitable, but at least I get to do it sitting down.
You wouldn't be James S.
Rockford, Yeah, yeah.
At least for a little longer.
I'm Althea Morgan.
I'm the court-appointed receiver.
I'm here to inventory your possessions.
Receiver? It's not pleasant news, Mr.
But Carl Colton Calloway apparently received a $35,000 judgment against you.
The court wants to know whether the state of your business can support a payout or whether to recommend liquidation.
There's a number on the back of that card.
You can call the court and verify my credentials.
Yeah, I have really had a bad couple of months, Ms.
Do you think that we could possibly put this off till after the first of the year? No, but we could possibly put it off till after a cup of coffee.
Oh, well, how terribly rude of me.
I'll see if I can scrape some off the bottom of the pot.
Well, sonny, they can't hurt us no more, can they? Oh, sure they can.
They can? Yeah.
It's just a quick audit, Mr.
I'd like to start with last year's tax return, if you don't Oh, I'm sorry.
Althea Morgan, the court receiver, I'd like you to meet my father, the crippled house painter.
Now, I don't want any sympathy, but he does sort of depend on me to help him with his medical bills.
You were sued.
You lost.
I think it's only reasonable to understand that the $35,000 has to come from someplace.
If you were the injured party, I'm sure that you'd want the court to establish the defendant's capability of paying the judgment.
Oh, the injured party, huh? You wanna see the injured party? I'll show you the injured party.
Look right through here.
See right out there, the guy with the shovel, huh? See him? Oh, boy, those lower back injuries are murder.
Sometimes, he has to sit down for 10, 15 seconds after digging an hour.
The court has made its decision.
I'm just here to see how solvent you are.
Look at her, Dad, look at her.
She's already got her eyes on the TV set.
Oh, boy.
I can see this is gonna be one of those terrific assignments where I get clubbed to death for trying to help you with your problems.
I'm sure you have financial statements and records of some kind, scribbled on the back of the Sunday funnies, no doubt.
If you have some time, I'd like to see them.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) Okay, okay.
I'll get it, sonny.
I'll get it, Dad.
Dad, I said I would get it.
Now, would you please just sit down? Now go ahead, sit! Jim, it's Jake.
Jake Sands.
It's 10:00.
Meeting starts in a few minutes.
All right.
I'll be along in a minute.
Hi, there.
Well, see, Jim, the thing is John McLinton said I was to make sure everybody showed up.
I said I'm on my way.
I'll see you in a minute.
Yeah, sure.
Miss, do you think you could come back later? I have a meeting at the Paradise Cove Home Owners Association.
It's a biannual thing.
Maybe 2:00 or so? Mr.
Rockford, one of my best credentials for this job is that once I show up, I stick like glue.
All right, now the first order of business from the sign-up sheet C.
I think all of you know my nephew Cliff right over there.
He's been spending the summer with me.
As you all know Thank you.
As you all know, I've been the president of the Keep The Cove Quiet Committee for almost a year, and I think that this committee has done one hell of a job in keeping these surfers out and making sure that no dopers or acid heads use our beach for taking their sky rides.
All right! Okay, okay.
Now, that brings us to our next real problem, and that's the problem of unnecessary and hazardous activity by the residents.
Now, I'm speaking about Mr.
Rockford in particular.
Now, as a Malibu County sheriff Ex.
and as a bodyguard for the late Mayor Andrew Levin, I want to start off by saying that I think I know just a little bit more about this than a lot of you.
Now, here's what we've done.
We have recorded some of the incidents that have occurred around Rockford's trailer in the last six months.
Now, I've added the dates and the times to this tape, and I think that it speaks damn clearly to the problem.
Now here it is.
Having fun? C.
ON TAPE: November 16.
10:00 p.
ON TAPE: December 24, Christmas Eve.
ON TAPE: June 22, 2:00 a.
(EXPLOSION) I think that most of us remember when somebody placed three sticks of dynamite in Rockford's trailer that night.
Well, Jim, do you have anything to say? I don't think it's a secret to anybody that Calloway has been trying to get me kicked out of here.
Dedicated to it, mister.
Well, that Christmas Eve incident, so beautifully recorded by Mr.
Calloway from the safety of his trailer, well, that was when the two burglars tried to kill Mrs.
Teconis in Unit 10.
And apparently, ex-Sheriff Calloway was too busy putting tape in his recorder to go out there and do anything about it.
Now, the point is that this resident has got himself engaged in all kinds of trouble.
I want a vote from the home owners for the expulsion of Mr.
Rockford from this community.
(ALL GROANING) MAN: Jim's always been a friend Excuse me, excuse me.
If I might intercede for a minute.
Yes, what's your name? My name is Althea Morgan.
I'm a court-appointed receiver looking into Mr.
Rockford's financial condition due to the suit that Mr.
Calloway has filed.
I'd like to make a suggestion, and if you would hear me out, it might make some sense.
I don't need any help.
What I hear is that you're all concerned about security.
Well I'm suggesting that you hire Mr.
Rockford as the security person here at the cove.
Give him the responsibility of keeping this area peaceful.
He's trained in this kind of work.
Do you mind? Furthermore, I would like to add, if you would all call your insurance companies and find out what effect a security person who makes regular rounds, say at 6:00, 10:00, 12:00 and 2:00 a.
, would have on your premiums, you would find it considerable.
Well, what would you charge us, Mr.
Rockford? I don't do that kind of work.
I think $200 a week is a fair price.
Of course, you'll have to set up punch key stations and Mr.
Rockford will have to carry a meter, just to prove to the insurance company that he's making regular rounds.
Carry a meter.
Are you kidding? We have one of those from when we had security three years back.
It's in the rec room.
I think it's a great idea.
How about it? (ALL CHEERING) What's this? It's listed as an unrecorded asset at $2,000.
Why did you have to butt in? I don't want to be a security person, and I make $200 a day, not a week.
How much you making right now? This instant? How much you make yesterday? That's not the point.
When I work, I make $200 a day, plus expenses.
The point is, Mr.
Rockford, that you don't work a hell of a lot of the time.
Now, you undoubtedly feel that I'm trying to pull the roof in on you, but I'm not.
I'm trying to help you.
The cold wind of hope blows eternal.
Will you knock off the smart remarks? Okay, so you stay up a little bit later, you make some rounds, you end up generating a fixed income that can pay the overhead.
That's better than you're doing now, friend.
Yeah, but walking around carrying a meter on my shoulder.
I mean, really, it's It's just Well, it lacks a certain romance that I've always associated with my kind of work.
Romance belongs in the back seat of a convertible.
What I am trying to do, Mr.
Rockford, is to make some sort of a case for you.
I'm trying to prove to the court that you have a stable business here with ongoing accounts.
I mean, so that they won't order me to liquidate the whole thing, TV, trailer, cars, and pay Calloway out of the proceeds.
So, what is this unrecorded asset for $2,000? Case in point.
German-made, sound-activated tape recorder with mini directional mikes.
Why didn't you carry it as an asset? It's in hock! Well, you should have listed it as an asset securing a loan.
It's in hock! It's been in hock for almost a year.
I don't think I'll ever get it out of hock, so who cares how it's listed? I think you should try to find a way to calm down.
That is a good idea.
Yes, sir, I think I'll just go out on patrol, huh? Yeah, I'll take my little meter out for a stroll.
And let me know if you find any assets with feathers on it.
Someone's out there.
Let's get him.
Hey! MAN: Come on! Get in.
Get it started.
Let's go! Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb! WOMAN: Is someone hurt? They go up slow, but they come down fast.
Oh, well, we'll have to put that into the newsletter.
Hey, pal, you're the one that ashcanned the guard booth.
You hit one of those things with a 5,000-Ib.
Firebird, you're going to total it Put that in your newsletter.
Hi, Mac.
Will have a field day with this.
Well, I suppose we'll have to have a committee meeting.
Well, maybe you ought to just put it up to a vote, huh? I mean, if you people want me out, maybe I ought to just leave.
I don't want you to leave, Jim, neither do the rest of us.
Only thing wrong with you is that you're in a kind of strange business.
But Mac and I like having you around.
(BARKING) MacArthur.
Hush up.
Thank you, Mac.
Uh, Jim You might think about paying for the shack.
Oh, yeah, well as soon as I get square with C.
, that's my next big push.
(MACARTHUR BARKING) (HONKS) Well, well, you didn't try to run me down today.
We must be making progress.
I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.
You? Bad news? Impossible.
Oh, please, okay? Mr.
Calloway called his lawyers yesterday, and they've petitioned the court to liquidate your assets and to settle this all immediately.
And you said? What could I say? I'm a functionary of the court.
Apparently, his lawyers appealed on the grounds that he's 77, and that he can't be asked to wait.
He could die and He's already over the national average on the age charts, so the judge reconsidered.
I'm supposed to start listing your things and putting a price on them for sale.
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Oh, don't mention it.
I was thinking about washing them anyway.
It's my treat.
Dennis, Dennis, come on, pal.
Hey, really, I've heard this story before.
Now really, just tell me what you got so far.
Do you remember Sergeant Daskin, the old guy behind the booking desk? Yeah, what about him? Well, Sergeant Daskin says that he was on the LAPD back when Calloway was a Malibu sheriff, and that he was involved in a big shootout in '29 or '30 Hold on a minute, will you, Jim.
Here's the report you wanted, Lieutenant.
Go get yourself a haircut.
Yes, sir.
And that he took a slug in the spine.
He took a slug in the spine? The lower back, huh? Right there in the old ruptured vertebrae department? Hey, you know, Dennis, this could really be helpful.
I mean, if I could prove that his medical problems came from an old injury, then maybe I could get, you know, one of the doctors that took the slug out to testify on my behalf.
That's a great idea, Jim.
We could swing on out by Forest Lawn, dig one up and see if we can't get a statement.
Yeah, 1930s.
No chance, huh? Look, I gotta go, but there's one other thing that you might look into.
Daskin says that C.
Calloway had a nickname back then.
You know what the C.
Stands for? Yeah, Carl Colton.
His handle was "Come with the Cash" Calloway.
He has a shopping bag for every occasion, his hand's into everybody's pockets, including local hoods and politicians.
Thanks for the info, Dennis.
ANGEL: Okay, Jimmy, I got you here like you wanted.
Now, where's the 50 bucks? ROCKFORD: Shut up, Angel.
ROCKFORD: "As near as authorities can construct it, "Samuel Wing, well-known Hawaiian bootlegger of bonded Irish whiskey, "was delivering a massive shipment.
"It was brought ashore on small boats "and delivered to an LA racket boss, Roscoe Ragland.
"At approximately 2:00 a.
, the quiet stretch of beach north of Malibu "erupted with gunfire.
"The Sheriff's Department suspects vandals "who were not part of the illegal liquor deal "apparently found out about the transaction "and tried to take the cache of old Irish, which was stacked neatly on the beach.
"A passing Malibu Sheriff, Carl Colton Calloway, "heard the gunfire and proceeded to the scene.
"In what Malibu authorities term an act of extreme courage, "he attempted to regain order and sustained a gunshot wound in the back.
"He was taken to Our City of Angels Hospital for immediate surgery.
"As of this date, his condition is unknown.
" How about that? He took one in the back, just like Sergeant Daskin remembered.
Let me tell you what I remember.
I remember a guy telling me on the phone that he was gonna pay me some gelt.
You know, when you say you're gonna pay gelt, then you gotta pay gelt, Jimmy.
That's how business works.
Hey, wait a minute.
"Roscoe Ragland was taken into custody with gunshot wounds "and booked after receiving first aid.
"Samuel Wing was found dead, floating in the surf along with numerous others "as yet unidentified.
"Authorities are searching the small cove north of Malibu.
"It has been rumored that Samuel Wing dealt only in gold bullion.
"Authorities believe that the gold is somewhere in the vicinity "and is as yet undiscovered.
" Where does it say that about the gold? Right there.
Says something about gold? Gold? Yeah.
Jimmy Jimmy, them Chinese gangsters, they're freako about gold.
I mean, even still.
You know Johnny Soo? The hockshop cat? Yeah.
He'd rather take a gold watch than greenbacks any day.
Listen to this.
"The beach north of Malibu is called Paradise Cove, "but it was far from paradise last night when 10 people died "in a struggle for 50 cases of imported whiskey.
" Treasure.
Treasure, Jimmy, treasure.
It's gotta be all that gold.
The treasure of Paradise Cove.
We're going to be rich, Jim, we're going to be rich! Yeah, Angel.
Angel, shut up.
Just shut up.
That was 50 years ago.
Look, I want you to stay here, see if you can find any follow-up stories.
Anything on the gold or the bullet in Calloway's back.
Where you going? I'm gonna see if I can keep a lady from selling my house out from under me.
I'll see you at the cove at 9:00 with anything you can dig up.
They never found it.
They They never found the, uh, picnic basket.
Yeah, well, I'd love to stay and talk to you about it, but I have a date with about a half a dozen little wooden posts.
Well, that about does it for me.
I've got almost everything priced and cataloged.
I'll buy you a drink when you get back.
One for the road, as the saying goes? I'm sorry, Althea.
Hasn't been too much fun for you either.
See you over there in about 15 minutes.
I lost my picnic basket.
I'm trying to paper-train my parrot.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy? Where'd you go? Jimmy, it's me, Angel.
I got to talk to you, man.
They never found it, Jimmy.
It's still down there.
Come on, man, I got to talk to you.
Jimmy Jimmy? (GASPS) Jimmy! Jimmy! ANGEL: Jimmy! Come on! Come on! Come on! Let's go! Come on, now.
Hurry up! Go! MAN: The chair! Dump it.
(HORN HONKING) Jimmy? Oh, for heaven's What are you doing? What do you mean, what am I doing? What does it look like? I'm on patrol.
Cliff, get the cruiser.
We're taking him in.
That's it for me.
Out he goes.
Jim, you okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
I think a couple more patrols, I ought to have this whole area leveled.
You call the cops and I'll file a complaint.
You know, C.
, I always wondered about you and that metal detector.
You don't suppose there might be some buried treasure around this beach someplace, do you, huh? What am I supposed to do? Am I gonna call the cops or not? C.
C: Well, who said anything about calling the cops? C.
C: Hey, the show's over.
Now, come on, everybody back inside ANGEL: Jimmy! Oh, Jimmy, they hurt me ROCKFORD: Wait for me.
I'll be right back.
Stay here Jimmy, my stomach.
They hurt me, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy Hey, wanna come out now? Jimmy, oh, they hit me, they hit me.
They hit Yeah? That's what it looked like to me, too.
You okay? I don't know.
I Maybe I ought to talk to my attorney before I give a quick answer.
Come on.
What happened? Look what you did to Lucille, my '59 cherry Caddy convertible.
It's a collector's item Yeah, you ought to collect about 50 bucks.
You can't even get body work around town.
Hey, Rockford! In here.
Look, would you go inside and look up Hillhaven Hospital? Now, I don't know which book it's in, but I think it's local.
It's either Pacoima or Simi Valley.
All right, all right.
Well, fellas.
I guess you heard that court is selling you out.
That's right.
Lock, stock and a barrel of rum.
Meaning? Meaning I love a treasure hunt.
We gotta talk.
That's right.
Yeah, I think we're gonna have to talk, but not right now.
I got a few things I want to look into first.
I'm the sheriff of this county.
When I say talk, you talk.
Otherwise, I put you in that cruiser, I take you in.
I wouldn't get in that cruiser with you if you were giving away free ice cream.
You know, rumor has it that, back in the '30s, you ran a pretty good store out of the back of that thing.
Everything from underworld payoffs to putting knots on people's heads.
You know what they used to call your uncle back then? Old "Come with the Cash" Calloway.
Hey, I ain't afraid of you, mister.
Now, what has that got to do with anything? You go messin' our deal here, I just might have to grind up your sombrero.
He's a little short on smarts, isn't he? He's got his uses.
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm gonna tell you something, Calloway.
I am through fooling with you.
If you or your pet squirrel here get in my way, you're gonna get carried out on a stretcher.
He knows.
I know he knows, C.
He knows it's down there.
Yeah, maybe, but he don't know where.
I'm the only one who knows where, and it took me 50 years to figure this out.
He ain't gonna do it in no 24 hours.
Well, this is it.
Listen, I got a plan.
Now, listen to this, Jimmy.
You and the skirt should go on inside, you prowl around, see if you can find this guy.
I'll take up the point here and I'll guard your back.
Guarding my back means taking off at the slightest hint of trouble.
(LAUGHING) Listen to her.
We're out here in Pacoima trying to find a killer, she thinks it's funny.
What did you have to bring her for? I'm here to protect my car.
That's a condition of the loan.
All right, you two stay here.
I'll go in and look around.
And stay here means stay here.
(LAUGHING) He's really different.
He's a sucker.
Yeah, but he's a nice sucker.
Clare, call cardiology.
Oh, miss.
Hmm? Yeah, Corky Coogan? You see, it's my stepfather and Dr.
Russell to rehabilitation.
How do you put it? Slipping away? Ah, exactly, exactly, that's it, slipping away.
I remember he told me he had a friend that checked in here, and I was thinking, you know, if you had a patient who was an old buddy of Daddy Mike's.
Yeah, I wonder, you know, if I could just take a look at the roster, I'm sure I'd recognize the name on it and then I could kind of tell him that, you know, he has a friend in here.
I could just ease him over the threshold.
Commit him? I was trying to put it a little more delicate.
Thank you.
(WOMAN CHATTERING O VER PA) Well, I don't know, miss.
I don't see any names here I recognize.
You know, I could've gotten the wrong hospital.
Yeah, but I sure do want to thank you.
Ragland? Mr.
Ragland? I'd like to ask you some questions about something that happened a long time ago.
It was you and Samuel Wing.
There was a shootout at Paradise Cove back in the '30s? Apparently C.
Calloway was there, there was a lot of gold bullion missing.
How could he trace us up here? We took the plates off the ambulance.
I'm telling you, it's that goombah from the beach.
The same one.
This dude's come here to spit in our hole.
Where's the gold? (LAUGHING) Hot dog.
What? Hot dog! Hot dog! He's there.
Come on! There he is.
Come on.
Oh, no! Oh, you did it again! Yeah, I did it.
All right, now here's the cliff.
That's where the park would be, and right here is where they built the Sandcastle.
Over there, where that little house is, that's where my trailer sits.
What are you thinking, Jimmy? You're thinking about something.
What're you thinking about, Jimmy? Let us know what you're thinking Angel, shut up.
That's too small to be a house, don't you think, Jim? Well, yeah, yeah, but Yeah, it looks like some kind of food stand.
ALL: Hot dogs.
Hot dogs? At this time of night? I was thinking more about making up some coffee and ice cream.
No, no, no, Dad.
Ragland said "hot dog.
" What if this little building was a hot dog stand? You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking I'll go on home and rest my leg.
It's starting to ache.
Ah, no, no, no, Dad.
Just go on and lie down on my bed.
Oh, that's a good idea, sonny.
Old Joe, moves like a cat.
Why would Ragland put gold bullion in a hot dog stand? Who said he did? Yeah, I know, it's nuts.
But then, those three guys from the hospital, they've been burrowing under Benny Frank's hot dog stand every night this week.
But that stand was built just a few years ago.
That wasn't here in the '30s.
Well, I figure if you take the combined intelligence of those three mop-swingers, you're gonna come up with a two-digit figure.
Are you trying to say that you think your trailer is over the gold? (LAUGHS) Did you hear what I just said? In a quiet reasonable voice, I just asked if your trailer was over gold bullion.
I think I'm going a little crazy.
I think I need some air.
You can go outside if you want to, but if some guys in white part your hair with a shovel, don't come looking to me for help.
What have we got on Ragland? Not much.
Let's see.
He was arrested on this beach in 1930.
He was sentenced to federal prison in Kansas and killed a guard there.
He just got out last year because he was beginning to drift a little.
Drift? What? Are you kidding? He's a lemon meringue pie.
He's been blowing off his mouth to a bunch of guys with mops about our gold.
It makes you wanna puke.
Okay, Angel.
That does it, huh? That's it for tonight.
You've managed to give me my headache.
Let's just sleep on it.
Hey, buckaroo, I don't let nobody out of my sight.
This is the big one, this is the big score.
I don't sleep.
I sit on my blanket with my gun on my lap and I keep an eye on you all night long.
Treasure of the Sierra Madre.
Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston, Tim Holt.
Terrific ending.
Almost everybody ate a bullet.
Come on, let's go for a walk.
I wouldn't go out there.
I really wouldn't.
You can get hurt on that beach.
Ain't nobody leaves here without me.
Let's go.
Yeah, well, somebody better keep an eye on Old Joe.
Oh, gosh, it's been a strange two days.
I wouldn't argue with that.
Yeah, but I come out here looking for a deadbeat, and I wind up looking for treasure.
Alleged treasure.
The only thing we know for sure is that Calloway and a bunch of attendants at a convalescent home think it's here.
Just find it hard to believe that it sat under a hot dog shack for 50 years But it had to be hidden, in a false floor or something.
Maybe it was paved over when they were in the hospital or in prison.
(SIGHS) I suppose you know that you're not going to be able to forestall the court.
They're gonna sell everything you own.
Well, I've been here for six years.
Maybe it's time to move on.
Jim, for what it's worth, right now, I think C.
Is faking.
Oh, really? No, I think the court is wrong.
I believe you.
Yeah, well, for a gal who started out cold and crisp, you're starting to be a soft touch.
Yeah? Yeah.
Well Maybe you hit me at the right time.
Maybe I'm ready for a treasure hunt about this time in my life.
You warm enough? Yeah.
I feel a fog coming in.
Five years business school, parents who starved to put me through Everything has to count.
Every moment has to pay off.
No treasure hunts for little Althea.
She didn't have much fun, either.
Well, don't tell me you're having fun now.
You know what the best part was? Hmm? Hitting that ambulance.
Whammo! Right in the wheels.
Oh, it was terrific.
(LAUGHING) What was that for? Well, you hunt your kind of treasure, and I'll hunt mine.
A true romantic.
And not a convertible in sight.
Jimmy! Jimmy.
Jimmy! Jimmy! Come on! Come on.
What's wrong? It's him, man.
It's that crazy old sheriff.
He's on the telephone.
Hello? Rockford? Yeah.
We gotta talk.
Yeah? I'll be parked under the bridge next to the highway with the lights out.
In an hour.
You come alone.
Where do you get that stuff? The late show? I'll see you at the Sandcastle in 10 minutes.
I didn't know we were bringing our stooges.
I ain't scared of you, Rockford.
Oh, you tell him to get lost, huh? If I wanted someone to drool on the peanuts, I'd go out and get a little brown doggie.
You don't scare me, mister.
Not one little bit.
Sure, I do, Cliff.
Sure, I do.
Well, why don't you go out and see that nobody messes with the cruiser? Well, this is certainly turning out to be everything I'd hoped for.
Okay, Rockford.
You got a smart mouth, you got us all scared silly.
Let's get to it.
Okay? All right.
I know about the bullion, I know where it is and I'm gonna dig it up.
Assuming I knew what the hell you were talking about, why are you meeting with me? Well, just so you know that I'm on top of this thing, I'll tell you where it is.
It's under my trailer.
Wanna know how I found out? Ah, well, that's a big, long, bizarre story.
Did you hear that Roscoe Ragland is in town? Well, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I heard.
I also heard he's hooked up to a water bag, so it doesn't matter Oh, yeah, yeah, but he keeps going in and out of focus.
And he's talking in his sleep.
Oh, that guy's a liar.
He didn't live up to nothing he promised.
You were on his payroll back in the '20s, right? Good old "Come with the Cash" Calloway? You didn't stumble into that shooting.
You were his security on the deal.
Statute of limitations ran out on that, okay? Sure, I provided security for the bootlegging on this cove.
I got a piece of the take.
So what? Here it is, C.
You see, I don't really believe too much in treasure hunts, so I'm gonna walk away from the whole thing.
I'll pull my trailer right out and you can hack up the asphalt.
What do you want? A signed and witnessed statement that you are withdrawing your judgment from me, you don't have a back injury, and if you find anything down there, I get 10%.
All right, you got a deal.
You move the trailer.
I'll be there at 2:00 a.
I'll bring the pick axes and the lanterns.
And I'll bring the affidavit and the cucumber sandwiches.
A real comedian.
(SMACKS LIPS) Okay, hold it, hold it, hold it.
Okay, Dad.
Okay, easy, easy.
Pull it out.
Well, I'm tired of plowing into buildings.
Maybe I'll shoot the place up instead.
You think it's dangerous out there? Oh, probably not.
Althea, it's almost 2:00.
Now, I'm gonna want you to witness the affidavit after Calloway signs it, huh? Okay.
Then I want all of you to take off.
You can use Rocky's truck.
Good idea, Jimmy.
Except I think you ought to know that if you try and take off with my share of the treasure, I'll take Old Joe here as a hostage.
Now, you just try it, and Old Joe will just stove your head in.
You're gonna give the whole thing away, Jimmy? What in the hell is wrong with you? I'm not letting this thing be signed.
No way.
Angel, how would you like to spend the summer at the West Hollywood Dental Clinic? I wouldn't.
I'm staying, Jim.
No, you aren't.
You want me to witness that? I'll witness it if you promise me I can stay.
Well, well, well.
We got the honey all hotted up, didn't we? You're chasing the skirts and you're not concentrating on the gold, and you end up giving it all away to this looney-tunes sheriff.
I'm staying anyway.
I'm staying too, sonny.
Well, you can count me out.
(DOOR SLAMS) All right, Althea, after you sign the affidavit, you come back in here and lock the door, huh? All right.
Now, you know how to use one of these? Yeah, I did a little trapshooting.
What about me, sonny? Oh, Dad, you go over to the pay phone at the Sandcastle.
If anything starts happening, you call the cops.
Okay? Don't you come out till I wave to you.
Here, I'll get you a light.
You got great legs.
Oh, how sweet of you to notice.
All right, Rockford, make tracks.
Oh, no.
I'm staying here to keep an eye on my interest.
Then you swing a pick.
Okay, let's go.
I got a reading with that metal detector about two months ago.
I put a nail in here to mark the spot.
Yup, there it is.
Right there.
Here we go.
(SHUSHING) What? I think I heard something.
Oh, yeah.
It sounds like those three guys are attacking the hot dog stand again.
Yeah, so we gotta take 'em before they take us.
What? Let's use the cruiser.
We can use the spotlight.
The spotlight? C.
He wants to use the spotlight.
, come back here I ain't afraid of them, mister.
Well, you haven't had any ring time with them either, sonny.
All right, come on, let's go.
Well, come on.
Oh, I knew it.
I knew it.
, wait! C.
, wait.
Don't do anything stupid.
, what are you doing? This is Sheriff Calloway.
You're under arrest.
, get back in here.
Are you crazy? C.
, come on, get down.
All right, you come out of there with your hands in the air.
I did it, you see that? I finally caught 'em.
I finally caught 'em.
These men are prisoners of Sheriff Carl Colton Calloway of Malibu.
Ex-Sheriff Calloway.
C: Well, that ain't right.
I've been rooked! Well, it don't matter what the government says, that there gold is mine! I've been waiting and it's mine and you're not gonna take it from me.
Jim, Jim.
You got 10%.
You gotta stop them.
Well, what do you want me to tell 'em? Well, it's against the law.
All right, explain it to him again, Althea.
That gold was stolen from the military vaults in 1929 by Roscoe Ragland.
So it's theirs, not yours.
Well, it's a damn gyp.
I've been combing around here for 50 years.
Somebody should have told me.
How do you think I feel? I got 50% of 10% of nothing.
Nada, niente.
up and down sand dunes.
Look at it this way, Sheriff.
All that exercise wasn't a total waste.
You got great legs.
So, you're out of trouble, Jimmy.
And if the government decides to give you and C.
A finder's fee, you get 10%.
That ought to clean up most of your debts.
Maybe even get that old unrecorded asset out of hock, huh? Yeah, I guess this is my lucky day.
Mine, too.
Can I stay for the weekend? Yeah, yeah, maybe we can dig for something more reasonable, like clams.
Yeah, I cook 'em in lemon and butter.
Oh, I'd like that.
Guess I'm off my cold streak.
They can't hurt us now.