The Rockford Files (1974) s06e02 Episode Script

Lions, Tigers, Monkeys and Dogs (1)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING) Kendall! (WOMAN SCREAMS) Keep back! I'm warning you! Hey, watch out! No! Shut up! That rope's not tied! I said shut up! (SCREAMING) You mean that he just Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.
He just Yeah, Princess Rachevsky, please.
I'm Middle America? The Stars and Stripes Forever.
I think somebody's trying to kill her.
You think? (TIRES SCREECHING) (PHONE RINGING) ROCKFORD ON ANSWERING MACHINE: This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS) This is Betty Farnell.
I don't know who to call, but I can't reach my Foodaholics partner.
I'm at Vito's on my second pizza with sausage and mushroom.
Jim, come and get me.
Yes, monsieur? Reservation for Rockford.
Rockford.
Oh, yes, of course.
I'm afraid there'll be a slight delay, oh, say, 20 minutes? Perhaps you'd care to wait in the bar? Wait? Wait.
Why? I don't understand.
You have tables.
I also have reservations.
Yes, and one of them is mine.
Henri.
Henri, I know this is inexcusable.
We'll have to throw ourselves on your mercy.
We should have phoned ahead for a reservation.
Not necessarily.
But if you could accommodate us We're always honored to have you, Miss Warren, Princess Rachevsky.
Please, allow me to seat you myself.
If Your Highness want to follow me? Excuse me.
The bar is to your left, Mr.
Rockford.
Yes, I know where it is and I don't want to cause any problems here, but I did have a reservation for 8:00.
If I'd wanted to sit at the bar for 20 minutes, I would have arrived 20 minutes ago.
I am sorry, monsieur.
If you do not care to wait, of course, we'll understand.
And you won't be too heartbroken.
Henri, perhaps we should wait in the bar.
Well, I don't want to interfere with your dinner plans, I'm just trying to resolve my own.
Now look, I am not Elton John and I'm not Bonnie Prince Charlie.
I'm not anybody Well, that isn't true.
but I did have a reservation.
You may not know who James Rockford is, but Mr.
Rockford is a very prominent private investigator.
Look at him control his excitement.
Henri, possibly another evening.
Oh, Rene, we're here.
It would be ridiculous to turn around and go back to the hotel now.
Well, I wouldn't feel comfortable accepting a table while Mr Rockford.
Rockford has to wait.
He'll be seated immediately, Your Highness.
Number 26.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I know you just hate it.
Why would I hate it, hmm? Being treated like a 200 pound sack of dog chow? Oh.
Aw, come on, the kitchen? It's fine.
Jim, it's fine.
Please.
(SIGHS) Yeah, I would like to send a bottle of wine over to the Princess with my thanks.
MAÎTRE D': Of course, sir.
Hold, hold, hold it a minute.
I haven't told you what I want to send.
The Princess drinks only Chateau Petrus.
The '67.
Well, that's fine, but shall we have something from the Fernando vineyards? Light and full-bodied, good nose on it, huh? The Princess drinks only Chateau Petrus.
It'll be a nice change of pace.
Well, that was very sweet of you, Jim.
Well, I did want to say thank you, I just didn't want to have to refinance my trailer to do it.
(CHUCKLES) (PEOPLE LAUGHING) They haven't touched it.
Well, they'd already started on the other.
Maybe they didn't want to mix them.
You can drink six different wines with dinner if you've got the liver for it.
Dinner was delicious.
You know, so many times you hear about a restaurant, everybody raving, and then when you finally get there, you're disappointed.
That's a pretty good wine.
It's not cheap, you know.
I could've sent them a six-pack.
Probably going to give it to the chauffeur.
All right, Jim.
The Princess should have opened your wine and Henri shouldn't have been such a snob, but this is a wonderful restaurant and the food's great.
You think you could try having a good time? I am.
I love it.
It's the first time I've been here.
We're not here.
We're in the kitchen.
IRENE: You should have had Beany meet us at the hotel.
KENDALL: For dinner in your suite again? Anytime it bores you, you're free to decline.
Rene.
It was a lovely dinner.
Beany said he had a good time.
ANNOUNCER ON RADIO: We'll be right back with the sports wrap up Rene, it's important for you to be seen.
I shouldn't have to tell you that.
Uh, Kendall, the wine was a gift to me.
But you never drink the I mean, you always tell me to I'm terribly sorry.
I understand.
Habit.
We'll talk in the morning.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (SCREAMS) Kendall, are you all right? Are you all right? I think so.
Oh, no.
Damn.
I broke the heel of my shoe.
How can you worry about your shoes when you were almost killed? I paid for them.
(SIGHS) I'm fine, Rene.
I just forgot there were so many jackass drivers in California.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Steak and pepper teriyaki.
How's that sound to you, sonny? You like eating Chinese? Well, that's Japanese, and I don't have the stomach or the time for talking about food right now.
I went to a restaurant last night.
They served sauce with everything, including the coffee.
It's just too rich.
I can't handle that stuff.
Yeah.
I know you always was real delicate in that department.
Like a billy goat.
We'll skip dinner, okay? Okay.
You gonna be gone long? I don't know.
Okay.
Hey, come on, Dad, I don't know how long I'm gonna be out.
It's business.
The Princess just said that I Princess? (SCOFFS) You don't know no princess.
Sure I do.
Princess Rachevsky.
See? The little fella's full of surprises.
A real princess? Yeah, unless that's her first name.
I met her last night sort of.
She called this morning.
Wanted me to come over to the hotel.
Said something about having a job for me.
(CHUCKLES) Well Hey, you're going to see a real princess dressed like that? Well, sure, Dad.
I don't really have much choice.
My satin knee breeches and peruke are still at the cleaners.
(LAUGHING) Hey, Jimmy.
Ooh, dynamite coat.
Yeah, well, it's one of Dad's favorites.
¿Jose, qué pasa? Jose? Uh, why don't you just come on in, Angel, huh? Would you like a beer? What else you got? Look, Angel, I'm just on my way out.
Yeah, I'm kind of pushed for time myself.
You stand around like this, you're gonna be late, sonny.
I know, Dad.
I'm leaving.
Now was it anything that can wait? Not hardly.
Miguelito Lopez.
Remember Miguelito? Wide dude? Mighty Mex? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's working at the track.
(EXCLAIMING) Aw, come on, Angel.
I've got the sixth race.
Jimmy, I'm telling you, it's big.
You slide me a Jackson, I'll cut you in on half the action.
There is such a thing as protocol, sonny.
Now that lady ain't about to stand around cooling her heels while you're wasting time making a bunch of sucker bets.
Sucker bets? Would I bring you a sucker bet? You'd bring me a dead rat in your teeth if you thought there was 20 bucks in it for you.
Now, get out of my way, I'm leaving.
I am late.
Yeah, promptness is the courtesy of kings.
Well, it is.
Dad, you want to do us both a favor, huh? I mean, just stop taking it so big.
She is just another princess.
A princess? Don't even think it, Angel.
Princess? Yeah, princess.
You know, a princess, princess? Maybe you better not think about it, Angel.
Uh-huh.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Mr.
Rockford.
It's so good of you to come.
I appreciate the courtesy.
Not at all, Your Princess.
I also neglected to thank you last night properly for the wine.
I was hoping you might share it with me.
Well, the maître d' said that you only drink Chateau Petrus.
(LAUGHING) I'm sure he did.
It's very expensive.
Would you care to pour? Sure.
Mr.
Rockford, there's a problem I was hoping you would help me with.
I can't go to the police because they're not interested in hunches or feelings or suspicions.
I'm afraid even a private detective needs a little more than that.
Kendall Warren, she was in my party last night.
Yes.
Mmm-hmm.
Look, Kendall's a very special friend.
She's the only person in my life, really, who will listen to my storms and my silences and tell me when I'm wrong.
Oh, we have our differences.
It's quite dicey sometimes, but once the disagreement is over, whatever it is, the relationship is still there.
Is that as rare as I think it is? Well, it falls somewhere between endangered and extinct.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Kendall's the reason I called you.
I think someone's trying to kill her.
You think? Well, for over a week now, Kendall has felt that she's being watched.
And last night, when Freddie and I brought her back to the hotel, a car almost ran her down.
That wasn't an accident, Mr.
Rockford.
It was very deliberate.
Well, is there someone who might have a motive? Well, Kendall's not a woman who makes enemies.
Look into it, please.
If I'm unduly concerned, then that'll be the end of it.
But if not, you might be in a position to save her life.
Well, I You can start this afternoon.
There's a party on Blake Sternlight's yacht down at the marina.
Blake Sternlight.
Do they have a close relationship? Oh, he doesn't have relationships.
He has parties.
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING) (ALL CHATTERING) I don't know how you talked me into this.
The last time, it was Hopalong Cassidy, and I was 10 years old.
(LAUGHS) Well, you look very distinguished.
Well, you should have seen me in my chaps and spurs.
I've never heard of a costume party in broad daylight.
IRENE: Blake tries so hard to be outrageous.
Now, just be casual 'cause she's very easy to talk to.
But, please, don't let her know that I hired you, 'cause Kendall is so damned independent.
Yeah.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING) There she is.
See? Kendall in the green sari.
What's she doing talking to Gus? Well, what's he doing here for that matter? Gus? Yes, Gus Fairfield.
The one very appropriately dressed as the Marquis de Sade.
(IRENE SIGHS) You know, our host can be a very nasty little character.
He's probably hoping for a confrontation to amuse his guests.
Well, I have no intention of talking to either one of them.
Come, Freddie.
Excuse me.
Look at Sonny.
Don't you love it? Tights with those legs? That lawsuit of hers Is something I'm not going to discuss.
Oh, dear Lord, look at Buff.
Alice in Wonderland again.
When do you suppose she had her last surprise, eh? Kendall, no, we're not going to unmask for hours.
Blake, everybody knows who everybody is.
Well, that's the fun of it.
You know, I was going to have one of those theme parties, but I think this is more revealing.
People as they think of themselves.
I'm not sure, but I think Rene should be here by now.
She is.
Oh Jim Rockford.
We almost met at the restaurant last night.
Oh, of course.
I didn't know you were a friend of Blake.
Friend of a friend.
I thought you might like a glass of wine.
No thanks.
I'm afraid it's getting a little stuffy in here for me.
If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go outside.
Don't want to be caught talking to me? I thought you chose your own friends.
I do, Gus.
BLAKE: Gus, after I told you how wonderful you looked in your costume, you didn't say one word to me about mine.
Very nice.
No, no, it isn't just me as Robin.
I went for the ensemble effect.
Baby is here as Friar Tuck.
Look, there he is.
Wait, that's not Baby.
Oh, how did that I asked everyone to coordinate with Mr.
Pantazzi.
(SIGHS) Two stinking friars.
I must seem perfectly ridiculous after this.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
Kendall! (WOMAN SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) (LOUD SPLASH) (PEOPLE MURMURING) WOMAN: A man threw himself overboard.
No, I didn't see a thing.
Hurry up with that drink.
Why did you tell Rene? There was no reason to upset her like this.
Well, there was an attempt on your life, Miss Warren.
The police are going to question everyone anyway.
The police? You're going to call the police? Well, great.
There goes my party.
There was no attempt on my life.
The man was after this.
I told you I didn't want to wear it.
What did you say Alex paid for it? That was Do you really think it was only an attempted robbery? If I didn't, I'd be the first one to the phone.
What do you think, Mr.
Rockford? I thought it was paste.
Freddie, see that Rene puts this in the safe when you take her back to the hotel.
I was going to have her drop me off at the shop.
I have $1500 worth of camellias coming Freddie, Rene's upset.
Oh.
Sure.
Well, what's been going on? Shelby told me I've been missing all the excitement.
Don't you say a word to him, Blake.
If any of this appears in that paper of his, I'll know the source.
I keep forgetting.
No room for the First Amendment in the Royal House of Rachevsky.
Don't make it worse, Gus.
It will get worse.
Mr.
Fairfield's misconception of First Amendment rights is going to put him out of business.
We're late.
Come, Freddie.
Well, I guess I'd better start looking after my merry-makers.
Coming, Gus? Listen, everyone, Gus has a marvelous new place to eat.
Any takers? I haven't said thank you yet, have I? No, as a matter of fact, you haven't.
Thank you.
I appreciate your concern.
You're very welcome.
Well, I guess I I could go find my hat.
If I lose it, I'm afraid I'll have to pay for it.
Are you coming? No thanks.
I don't think I could face that party again.
Well, could you face a green corn tamale and refrieds and a Mexican beer? Green corn? Yeah, they make them with green corn.
They're great.
Of course, it's strictly paper napkins.
You struck a nerve.
All right.
(LAUGHING) This is a wonderful idea.
Do you often have wonderful ideas? All the time.
I can't get over the way this town has changed.
All the old landmarks are gone.
I'd probably get lost if I tried to get around on my own.
I didn't know you were from out here.
Mmm-hmm.
Simi Valley.
Oh, I used to make the big town from time to time.
There was a Mexican restaurant I used to love to go to.
It was called "El" something.
(CHUCKLES) They're all called "El" something.
It was over on Larchmont.
Probably gone now.
It was a long time ago.
They used to fix a chili relleno that would take the top of your head right off.
You like spicy? I'm crazy for spicy.
Oh, well, I'll tell Max.
Max Escobedo.
He runs the joint.
I use the term "joint" advisedly.
It sounds great.
Why do you keep apologizing for it? Is that what I'm doing? Mmm-hmm.
Why? I don't know.
Maybe I feel a little intimidated.
By me? (LAUGHING) How'd you find out about this place? It's not exactly in the neighborhood.
Well, I just got lucky.
I had a repo out in Eagle Rock one night, and I spotted it on the way back.
Just one of those out-of-the-way places nobody knows about.
It's a real find.
Hey, Max.
Jim, what are you doing here? What do you mean what am I doing here? But you didn't phone.
I never phone.
What I'm trying to tell you is that you don't have a reservation.
You want to have dinner, right? Jim, how can I serve you dinner if you don't have a reservation? Well, just take us to a table, send over a waitress It'll all fall into place, Max.
Jim, I'd love to help you, but GUS: Didn't I tell you it was marvelous? Uh, Mr.
Fairfield.
Do come in, sir, come right in.
WOMAN: It's not dreary at all.
Kendall.
You do keep on top of things, don't you? I only discovered Max three weeks ago.
I discovered him last March.
Jim Rockford, Gus Fairfield.
Mr.
Rockford.
You'll join us, of course, won't you? Unless you've made other arrangements.
Reservations here are so difficult.
That's the trouble with ferreting out one of these diamonds in the rough.
The wrong people always seem to find them.
Ha! Listen, order whatever you like, by all means.
But I strongly recommend the green corn tamales.
Mmm! (PEOPLE CHATTERING) You were right, Jim.
The food's marvelous.
It's not as good as it was three months ago, and the service is terrible.
It isn't that bad, is it? I guess not.
Then what's the matter? I don't know.
All of a sudden, I feel like I'm using the wrong fork.
To tell you the truth, these people make me feel uncomfortable.
I don't have anything in common with them.
I can't even relate to their names.
Beany and Baby Gus? Yeah, what is it with him? I mean, your friend, the Princess See? I feel ridiculous saying that.
The Princess? She is a princess and she's my friend.
What's so tough about that? She's seen me through two bad marriages, a case of shingles, and more mistakes than I care to remember.
Why is it that Middle America can't quite deal with titles? I'm Middle America? The Stars and Stripes Forever.
All right.
Maybe titles seem Well, I don't want to say phony, but they seem a little Old World to me.
I don't think so.
I think they impress you.
Oh, brother.
See the man sitting next to me? Baron von Stoloff.
Very old title, very distinguished family.
Hapsburgs, Hohenzollerns.
If I were to introduce you to him I'd probably ask for an autographed picture.
You'd be impressed.
You'd feel one down.
You shouldn't.
He bought the title.
He bought it? Paid 200,000.
Maybe two and a quarter.
Feel better? What was it you were starting to say about Rene? Oh, well, I mean, she was icing up Fairfield's wings for the big crash, and here we are breaking tortillas together.
Rene and Gus have legal problems.
He libeled her in his paper.
She's suing him for everything he's got.
He's been trying to set up a meeting with me.
Pump me, I suppose.
But we needed a table, and your friend Max was not about to give you one.
They have ruined the place.
VALET: Good evening, Miss Warren.
I'll be right back.
You're sure you won't come in for a nightcap? Oh, not tonight.
Thanks.
It was nice, Jim.
Does that mean you're willing to try again? Willing? I insist.
Good night.
(DOOR CLOSING) Oh, is that you, sonny? Yeah, Dad.
I'm sorry I woke you.
Oh, you didn't.
I couldn't have dozed off for more than a couple of minutes the way that darn phone's been ringing off the hook.
Hey, hey, I bet you'll never guess who I've been talking to about every five minutes.
Princess Rachevsky.
In person.
Not no lady-in-waiting, nothing like that.
The Princess herself in person.
(CHUCKLES) What'd she want? She wants you to phone her.
Dad, I'll call her back in the morning.
Oh, no, no, you gotta phone her right away.
I told her, I said Jimmy probably won't be in until late.
She said, "It don't matter.
Have him phone me 'cause I don't sleep anyway.
" Ain't that a shame? Here she is, a princess and all, and has trouble sleeping.
Yeah, well, she probably has a pea under her mattress.
Did she leave a number? Yeah.
It's right over there by the phone.
I wish you wouldn't put that junk in your stomach.
What you need is one nice meal.
Well, I ate.
At Escobedo's.
They have ruined that place.
Hey, hey, sonny, what's she like? The Princess, I mean.
What's she like? I don't know.
She's, uh She's beautiful.
Tall, dark hair.
How was she dressed? Was she wearing something real fancy? Oh, chenille robe and sneakers.
The usual princess stuff.
Princess Rachevsky, please.
Jim Rockford calling.
Did she have on anything special? What do you mean "special"? Well, you know, something special.
Something Well Like a crown? Princess Rachevsky.
Where have you been? I've been calling you for hours.
I've been out.
With Kendall? That's right.
We had dinner together.
I dropped her at her hotel about 20 minutes ago.
Is she all right? Oh, she's fine.
She was a little worried that you were upset.
You should have called the police.
You should have insisted, Mr.
Rockford.
Yeah, I think you're probably right.
I should have.
Now we've wasted all this time and there's no possible way we're going to find that man.
Well, there may be a way.
It wasn't an attempted robbery.
I've never been so sure of anything.
Can you find him, Mr.
Rockford? Can you find him and stop him? Well, I can try.
Why don't you try and get some sleep, huh? Yes.
Yes, I should sleep.
Yes, I'll try.
Oh, hi.
Hi.
Kendall, what are you doing here? Well, you took me to dinner last night.
I thought I'd reciprocate with lunch.
Oh, well, Fairfield sprang for dinner, and I just finished a big breakfast.
Oh.
Well, we can keep everything in the refrigerator until we're ready.
Yeah, well, I'm afraid, Kendall, you kind of caught me at a bad time.
Oh, I thought if I got here early enough, you wouldn't have made plans.
Well, they're not exactly plans.
I just thought ROCKY: Hey, sonny, you want another stack of flapjacks? I got me some batter left and I No, thanks, Dad.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is my father, Joseph Rockford.
Dad, this is Kendall Warren.
Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Flapjacks? I haven't heard them called that since I was 15.
My father used to make them every Sunday morning.
Well, I got some more batter.
Oh, Dad, I don't think Maple syrup? And melted butter.
Come on in.
I've been looking for another customer.
Come on.
Most of that should go in the refrigerator, if you have room.
Oh, we'll make room.
I just hope you keep clear of me, 'cause I gotta fix this lady up some nice breakfast.
Go right ahead.
I'll take care of lunch.
This is really very nice, Jim.
Well, I don't know how nice it is, but it's easy to keep clean.
Would you like some bacon? That sets real good with these.
Thanks.
Just the pancakes, Mr.
Rockford.
Mr.
Rockford? Oh, come on, Rocky.
That's what they all call me, Rocky.
Caviar? Wouldn't be a picnic without it.
That is if we're going to have one.
You going to be tied up all day? (SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I really shouldn't have asked that.
Well, it's all right to ask.
It's just that I don't really know.
No.
I shouldn't have asked.
It's none of my business, really.
Oh, look, Kendall, I'm going to try to get a line on that bozo on the yacht.
You are? Yeah, well, we don't know how dangerous he is.
And we don't want him walking around waiting to get another crack at you.
I don't know what to say.
Well, you don't have to say anything.
No, I do.
For you to spend your time trying to help me Listen, it's really nothing, really.
How you doing with the flapjacks, Dad? Well, as soon as these new ones brown up, we're all set.
Thank you, Jim.
Yeah, sure.
No, I mean that.
Thank you.
How are you going to do it? Find him? Through the robe.
He had to rent it from someplace and, well, there's maybe a couple of dozen costume rental places in town.
I'll check 'em out.
Well, that might take a long time and we have a picnic waiting.
I might be able to help you cut a few corners.
Oh, yeah? Nothing like a costume party.
I don't understand why people don't give 'em no more.
Yes, well, they're becoming quite fashionable.
Dame Margot Holms-Hesse gave a hunt ball in London last month.
It created quite a bit of talk.
Oh, you're kidding.
Used to be I couldn't keep nothing on the racks for all the parties.
Now, it's Halloween.
Well, it does take some time for things to make their way across the pond.
Civilization and fashion always move east.
Oh, yeah? If it wasn't for the studios, we'd be out of business.
Uh-huh.
Didn't you coordinate the costumes for Mr.
Sternlight's party? Yeah, that's right.
Part of the service.
Otherwise, everybody's Henry VIII.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Yes, I was thinking about taking over the ballroom in the Sherwin on the 29th.
My sister's birthday party.
You know, the big five-o.
We have to do something to cheer her up.
You're thinking costume? I was considering it, yes.
We could handle the whole thing.
Costumes, great little ice breaker, you know.
You put a costume on somebody and right away, he's having a good time 'cause he's not himself.
And you would coordinate Mr.
Pantazzi.
Mr.
Pantazzi.
Oh, Miss Warren.
When you were commissioned to handle Blake Sternlight's party, it was clearly understood there were to be no duplications.
Yes, ma'am.
I'm just finishing up with this gentleman.
There were two friars at the party last night.
Blake was furious.
I'm furious.
It puts me in an untenable position.
Look, Miss Warren, if you could just wait a minute.
Here, here.
We've got your check made out for you right here.
Mr.
Pantazzi, this is a legitimate commission, not a payoff.
I don't know from two friars.
I rented one monk's robe.
One.
To a Roberto Maldonado.
He came in here with Mr.
Sternlight.
If you don't believe me, you can see the books.
You're not about to carry duplications on your books.
What was it, Mr.
Pantazzi? Did somebody slip you a few dollars to pull that cheap trick on Blake? What am I? The only ragman in town? No, you're not.
I'll remember that in the future.
You might want to remember that, too.
Now you wait a minute.
Now you just wait right here.
Azadian? Yeah, Peter Pantazzi here.
Yeah, over at Western.
Listen, the last couple of days, did you rent any monks' robe? Oh.
Okay.
No, no, I'm just checking on something.
This may take a couple of minutes.
But if that second friar rented from anybody in this city, you're going to know about it.
"Richard Soderling of Pacoima.
" Doesn't mean a thing.
I don't know him.
Well, at least we know he's friar number two.
You don't think we were a little rough on Mr.
Pantazzi, do you? Well, I apologized, didn't I? Besides, Bren Dagley wants me to set something up for her on the 15th and I'll make it costume.
Well, I thought Well, I don't know, with your The way you live and dress, your jet-set buddies, I kind of thought that I was rich? Well Disappointed? Well, no, I'm confused.
Are you a professional party-giver? No.
Professional survivor.
I'm broke.
Have been for years, probably always will be.
You're living at the Beverly West Hotel.
Courtesy of the management.
Surviving doesn't have to be done in a fourth floor walk-up.
Yeah, but when you came up to my trailer this morning, you were driving a very expensive sports car.
Beany's.
And carrying a picnic basket with at least $300 worth of food in it.
At least.
There's a new gourmet shop that just opened up on Rodeo.
I've taken Rene in, Blake, several others, introduced them to the manager, and it was his way of saying thank you.
You do that all the time? Brain surgery isn't for everyone.
Well, all right, I'll drop you at my trailer before I head out to Pacoima.
I could take a cab.
Oh, no, I can't afford it.
Excuse me, I'm looking for Richard Soderling.
Richie's not here and we're closed.
Oh, well, I'm sorry.
I went over to his house and nobody was there.
One of the neighbors said I might find him here.
What is it you want to see Richie about? Oh, I'm with the Farrell Costume Company and he rented one of our outfits the other day.
Oh, yeah.
Him, a monk.
We got some laugh out of that.
It was one of those lodge things.
You should have seen him when he come home.
He was soaking wet.
I should have his social life.
Soaking wet? Oh, well, it was only water, and the robe didn't shrink or nothing.
Well, don't worry about it, Mrs.
Soderling.
Those things are practically indestructible.
Well, what is it you want to see Richie about? Well, it's really academic now.
I mean, we have a customer for the robe.
It's our only genuine Capuchin.
I thought maybe if he was through with it, I'd pick it up.
But, hey, I'll give Mr.
Robinson, oh, one of the dupes, maybe a Franciscan.
Yeah, I mean, who's gonna know the difference? Thank you for your time.
Sure.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING) RICHARD: Two jiggers of white rum.
One-third of a cup of pineapple juice.
One-third orange juice.
Two jiggers of coconut milk.
Now, this next step, you're gonna fight me on.
And I know you guys, so when I lay it on you, no arguments, okay? Just wait till you taste it.
'Cause, believe me, this is what makes the difference.
Bitters.
(PEOPLE GROANING) MAN: This guy must be joking! You wanna wait, huh? All right, that's bitters, two drops.
You got that? Not one, not four, but two.
(PEOPLE MURMURING) Stay where you are, mister.
Now do you hear me? Yeah, I hear you.
Will you two get the hell off this roof? Keep back! I'm warning you! Hey, watch out! No! Shut up! That rope's not tied! I said shut up! (SCREAMING) Oh! I better call the police.
Yeah, you better do that.
You mean that he just Yeah, that's exactly what I mean.
He just Yeah, Princess Rachevsky, please.
Well, what'd the police say? I didn't hang around to find out.
Oh, yes? Well, would you have her call Jim Rockford, please? She knows the number.
Thank you.
Out to lunch.
That's all these people do is eat.
I don't know how they stay so thin.
You know you're not suppose to leave the scene of an accident.
You know Dad, I know what I'm suppose to do.
The repairman reported it.
It's not like nobody did anything.
If I'd stayed, you know what would've happened? Chapman would have been all over my case wanting to know why I didn't report what happened on the yacht.
Well, why didn't you report it? It would have ruined the party.
What are you doing with my jacket? Oh, well, I found that in the corner of your closet.
I always kind of liked that one on you.
You know, sort of conservative.
Now that you're working for a princess And that's another thing.
The Princess.
There's the question of client confidentiality.
Chapman would have wanted to know who I'm working for.
I wouldn't tell him We're back to the same old argument.
Frankly, I'm bored with it.
(SIGHING) You know, that's the third one of them I've seen you take.
You must be eating something too rich.
Yeah, well, the whole thing's too rich for me.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Mmm.
Yeah, come in.
The door's open.
James Rockford? Yeah.
You're going to have to come with us.
And what do you mean? Just a minute All right, Dad, all right, Dad.
Just let me have my coat.
Well, you've got no call arresting Jimmy.
Dad Well, they don't.
Yeah, maybe he should have reported it to the cops, but he had his own reasons.
Good reasons, too.
Dad, has it ever occurred to you that maybe they're not arresting me? OFFICER ON P.
A: Step all the way to the end of the runway, gentlemen.
Stand up straight and face the lights.
Yeah, that's him.
He's changed his coat, but it's the same guy.
Now which one, Mr.
Craik? Be very specific, please.
The tall guy in the middle.
The one with the black curly hair.
We have a positive ID on you, Rockford.
We have an eyewitness that can put you on the roof at the time the death occurred.
And the convention hostess has your signature on the register.
Mr.
Craik's ready to sign his statement.
I think you ought to read it.
Well, have him sign it and send him home.
Doug, I still think you ought to I have everything well in hand.
Thank you very much, Becker.
You got the rubber hose out, you haven't even heard the man's statement.
I've heard enough.
Now, what was your relationship between you and Richard Soderling? What was the beef between you? Lieutenant, a call came in for you on Rockford about 20 minutes ago while you were down in line-up.
Said it was important.
I'll bet.
Said it was a Princess Rachevsky.
Princess Rachevsky? Did she call in on a princess phone? I don't know.
Said she was on her way down.
Boy, you'll try anything, won't you? There was some other calls on Rockford, Lieutenant.
Later, okay? Some guy from the British Embassy.
I've got his name written down.
And a Sheik Sheik? Yeah.
And some achatté from the State Department.
"Attaché.
" Becker! Becker! Thanks, Mr.
Craik.
Oh, Mr.
Craik.
Thank you.
Just a minute, please.
Mr.
Craik, could we just recap here for a minute.
You said that Mr.
Rockford chased Richard Soderling out onto the roof of the hotel.
Is that correct? Yes, that's right.
He chased him, or he was following after him.
Anyway, both of them was running.
And then Mr.
Soderling said, "Stay away from me.
" Is that correct? Yes, that's what I said.
And what did Mr.
Rockford do? He stayed away.
It's all in the statement.
"Rockford wasn't anywhere near Soderling.
" Cheer up, Lieutenant.
How do you think I feel? I could have lived very comfortably on a false arrest judgment.
No problem establishing personal prejudice.
I'm not through with you yet.
You through with me? Yeah.
Go home.
Thank you.
Come on.
Now there are quite a few questions left unanswered here, Rockford.
Not the least of which is what you were doing out on that roof when Soderling brodied.
Well, I was there on behalf of a client.
Oh, now, I suppose we're gonna two-step around the old client confidentiality plea.
You know how bored I am with that? You too? Now don't worry about a thing.
We'll have this all straightened out in no time.
Oh, Doug.
Your Highness, Miss Warren, may I present Lieutenant Chapman, Lieutenant Becker, and Mr.
Rockford you know, of course.
Of course.
Your Highness.
Your father called me at the hotel and he told me what happened.
Was the man you found the one who almost killed Kendall? Wait a minute.
Are we talking about an attempted murder? Is there another murder we're talking about? Soderling's death was an accident.
It's in the statement.
Oh, fine, you already have a statement.
That's out of the way.
No need holding up these good people any longer than necessary.
Sir, I'm not through with Rockford yet.
Oh, just a matter of a few minutes.
Becker, maybe the Princess would like to have a look at that statement.
Why don't you show it to her? Show it to her.
Doug.
Excuse me a moment, please.
Yes, sir.
Excuse me.
Sir, is she really a princess? According to Chief Brainard.
I got a call from him after he got a call from Washington.
State Department? Well, he didn't say.
Now, Doug, you know I don't believe in bowing to outside pressures.
I know that, Skipper.
On the other hand, a little diplomacy never hurt.
Right? Sir, are you telling me to kick Rockford loose because of his royal connections? Not at all.
You're the one on top of this case.
It's your decision.
I wish I could hang around and kind of help guide you through the white waters, but we have some serious problems up in Steno.
Serious problems.
Yes, sir.
Well, I'll tell the Chief that I relayed his message.
You'll probably be hearing from him later.
Probably.
Yeah.
Well, I'll be leaving you in the Lieutenant's capable hands.
I think we have everything pretty well squared away.
Thank you.
My pleasure, ma'am.
Sir, since you're taking an interest in this case I'm not taking an interest, Lieutenant.
I'm delivering a message.
I thought that you might like to take a look at Mr.
Craik's statement.
No, thank you.
Well, I'm afraid I'm gonna need a little more clarification regarding these circumstances, so if you will all accompany me to my office, just a few more questions.
Your Highness, please.
Kendall, Kendall, I'm sorry you had to find out that way.
So am I.
Well, I couldn't tell you I was working for Irene.
It's one of the conditions of employment.
Obviously, you're very scrupulous in your work.
It's what I do.
There's no point in being sore about it.
I just wish you'd leveled with me, that's all.
I thought we'd come at least that far in our relationship.
Whatever that is.
I'm exhausted.
What a dreadful man.
Chapman? He was on his best behavior.
Rene, let's get you back to the hotel.
You look as though you could use some rest.
Kendall, I think you're forgetting yourself.
Rene, I'm tired, you're tired.
I'm also perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
So am I.
What's with you two? I'm sorry.
Was it wrong of me to be concerned about you? Of course it wasn't wrong.
To want you protected? Please, Rene, let's drop it.
It's over.
Not quite.
We still don't know how a bartender from Pacoima came to be gambling with the BP's.
Maybe it was your brooch he was after, maybe it was your life.
Aren't you the least bit interested in the answer to that? Since he's dead, I can't see that it makes any difference.
Maybe he was hired.
What do you mean? Well, there's a missing connection here.
You don't see it? There's way too big a gap between Pacoima and the yacht basin.
Are you saying that someone I know hired Richard Soderling? It's the only answer I can think of that makes any sense.
(SCOFFS) That's terrific.
A real boost to the old spirits.
Someone I know may want to kill me, and the only lead we have is in the county refrigerator.
What are we supposed to do now? Now, we keep a close eye on the obits.
I'm afraid to ask who we're going to be looking for.
Huh.
It does seem to me that you could be doing something more than just reading about them that have passed over.
Like what? The only lead we had was Soderling.
Well, what good is it gonna do you to read about his funeral? I don't want to read about it, Dad, I want to attend.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Now what I've got to do is find it.
Russell, Rust Jimmy, I've been looking all over for you.
He's working.
What am I? Going to a barbecue? Ah, here it is, here it is, "Soderling.
"The Little Church of the Sunrise in Pacoima.
" Now all we got to do is find the connection.
Can you connect with this? What do you think? Miguelito's horse came in? Forget the track, this is a whole new gig.
Lord Evelyn Martin at your service, sir.
Lord Evelyn? I thought I'd make myself a duke, but I figured that would be pushing it.
Yeah, just a little.
Dad, I'm gonna go by the hotel and pick up Kendall.
I'll check in with you later.
Hey, what is it with you, man? Every time I show up, you start rushing off somewhere.
Kind of makes you think, doesn't it? Uh, Angel, I have a funeral to attend.
So what if you're late? The guest of honor's gonna notice? Now listen to me, Jimmy, what I want to talk to you about is I come up with a lot of scams in my day, right? But I give you my word, none of them touch this one.
No, Angel.
You haven't even heard it yet.
Listen to me, Jimmy.
All you got to do is give me a little introduction to the Princess.
Introduce him to the Princess? Aw, you ain't even introduced me to the Princess.
I'm not introducing anybody, Dad.
For 20% of a possible You think I'm going to set up my client for one of your seedy bunco jobs? You don't have to set up anybody.
All you do is got to make an introduction.
You say, "Princess, this is Lord Evelyn Martin, "former equerry at the royal household of His Highness, Duke of Edinburgh.
" Prince Philip? Hey, man, they've got so many people around those palaces, they don't know who they are.
They got this viscount, all he does is make toast.
Who's gonna call me a liar? I am.
If you let him queer the deal There isn't any deal, Angel.
Come on, Jimmy, this is a natural.
I'm telling you, from the first time I heard that you had met this princess, "Boy," I said to myself, "there is something in this for Angel Martin.
" Well, there isn't.
Jimmy, beautiful people, money.
Now we both know you can't make a thin dime dealing with what people need.
You gotta give them what they want.
Oh, I can't help myself, Angel.
I just have to ask it.
What is it they want? Polo ponies! (SIGHS) You walk away from this one, you'll never forgive yourself, Jimmy.
I got a wonderful string of them.
I mean, beautiful animals.
We can say they came from the Queen's own stable.
You know, a gift to me, kind of, for my long years of service there at the royal household.
To keep my mouth shut.
Goodbye, Angel.
I kind of like having you around.
This is James Garner.
Next on the Rockford Files.
I like being around.
Keep to the shadows.
I know all those back stairway moves.
Do you know who she reminds me of? The girl that married dear old dad.
Men's pajamas.
Great! June Allyson always looked cute as a button in them.
You do that all the time? Brain surgery isn't for everyone.
(SCREAMS)