The Simpsons s35e14 Episode Script

Night of the Living Wage

I don't care what Bart says,
there's nothing crazy about
taking your cat for a walk.
Wow. What is this place?
This park is a paradise for
emotional support animals
and their caring human partners.
Oh, that's lovely.
Now get out!
Your mangy cat can't be in
here if she's un-vested.
Oh, but my kitty is so empathetic.
She's the most caring, lovable, gentle,
- sweet
[GASPS] My anxiety chicken!
Somebody do something!
I can't do things, I'm an empath.
I'm conflict-averse.
Support me, Apples.
Oh, boy.
it was peck-and-go for a minute there,
but Gwyneth Poultry
is gonna be all right.
Here's your astronomical bill.
Oh, they'll be covering it.
$16,000?! For a chicken?
I just ate a whole bucket
of them for 20 bucks.
Prosthetic beak? Cluck-lear implant?
Bawk therapy?
We don't have the money for this.
They say all it takes to
financially ruin a family
is one unexpected medical bill.
Who knew ours would be for jacking up
some bougie-ass chicken? [LAUGHS]
I am so sorry. You can sell
my Malibu Stacy Dream House.
It's increased in value.
I just redid the kitchen.
Relax. We're not gonna sell your toys.
The sax is where the real money is.
What? My upper-lower, middle-lower,
lower-class income isn't
gonna get us out of this.
Hmm. In order to save this family,
I'm gonna have to do something
I've never done before,
get a job.
Oh, you've had tons of jobs:
cop, realtor, gym owner, erotic baker,
weed sommelier.
Those were for my own growth.
This time, it's not personal.
Ooh, this one sounds perfect.
They're hiring cooks.
Ooh, cooking.
That's one of the only things
I don't doubt myself at.
"Exciting work, competitive salary,
team players wanted at GimmeChow."
What's GimmeChow?
It's a new food delivery app.
The teachers have been
using it ever since
Lunch Lady Dora was on
Cafeteria Nightmares.
[GROANS] They're only
hiring for evening shifts.
Evenings? That's when you and
the food make dinner happen.
I don't know how to make pork chops.
Where do you kill the pigs? In the sink?
Come on, guys. We can help Mom out
and cook dinner as a family.
Aw, geez, you know,
I probably would not
Yeah, I'd love to, but that's
Homie, we need this.
Honey, of course
we're all happy to help.
Look, I'm already cooking.
This is how nachos are born.
Mr. Largo? But you already have a job.
I teach music in a public school, Marge.
Do the math. I sure didn't.
Folks, I'm Finn Bon Idée.
I am CEO and head mind-blower
here at GimmeChow,
and I came up with a way to
disrupt restaurant delivery.
By getting rid of the restaurants.
- Introducing
the GimmeChow ghost kitchen.
20 new delivery-only dining concepts,
operating out of one central kitchen,
Together, me and you,
and your shift manager
[AUTOMATED VOICE] Jill Junderson.
are gonna revolutionize food delivery
and feed all our friends here in
[AUTOMATED VOICE] "Spring-feld."
That's the excitement I like to
Oh, we got a question.
Wait, so one kitchen is
pretending to be 20 restaurants
when it's actually zero restaurants?
It sounds like you're
catfishing the public.
Think of it as catfish po'boy-ing them,
which is a special at
Mama Juju's Bayou Bistro.
How much does this job pay?
- Minimum wage.
Plus overtime. Sweet, juicy overtime.
That'll replace the
newspaper in your wallet.
And believe me, this job's gonna be
"easy peasy like grilled cheesy."
One Easy Peasy Grilled Cheesy.
That's you, Chef.
Chef? [CHUCKLES] Wow.
No one's ever called me
Make that 11 grilled cheeses.
Six sushi burritos. 21 loaded churros.
They're not stopping!
Cheeses. I need cheeses.
Cheesus, Allah, Buddha, Hashem.
We need 'em all, Chef.
Hot stuff coming through, Chef.
For the last time,
you're not my type, Chef.
- Corner.
- Behind.
- Under.
- Whoo. Over.
- Betwixt.
- Ceiling.
Baloney banh mi. Veal lover's pizza.
And fire those grilled cheeses, Chef.
Heard, Chef. Give me a sec. I need mayo.
- Ah!
- Please don't press charges.
My parole officer's
trying to three-strike me
instead of breaking
up with me like a man.
It's fine. It's fine. It's not deep.
Oh. Where the hell's the mayo?
Here's your mayo, Chef.
Ah. This is Wing Hut on Super
Bowl Sunday all over again.
Where the hell are my damn
grilled cheeses, Chef?
Ah. Spill. Sorry, Chef. I'll get it.
Here's your pho, Chef.
[GROANS] Yes, Chef. No, Chef.
Get your dumplings off my burner.
Homer, it's afternoon.
Why didn't you wake me up?
I tried, but you hit me with a spatula.
Oh, this is my only day with
all of you and I missed it.
How are things at GimmeChow, Mom?
It's been two months of hell.
Last night,
Kirk lost the tip of his finger
in someone's disco fries.
Disco guys like disco fr
Oh, God!
So, how's dinner been going without me?
Great. Tonight,
we're all making lasagna.
You know, cooking as a family
has been kind of fun.
- Right, kids?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh Knowing you all are making
home-cooked meals together
is the only thing
getting me through this.
Love you so much. Bye.
She's gone. It's GimmeChow time.
I'm getting pizza, pierogis, and paella.
Fish-and-chips and cake pops for me.
Guys, we've been ordering
delivery for two months.
I'm getting an ulcer from all the lying.
Or all the chile rellenos.
We got to tell Mom.
Hey, hey, hey. Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.
Let's not do anything rash.
We'll totally cook for ourselves,
But we still need to eat tonight, right?
Indian food, maybe?
Well, I am a little hungry.
Tofu tikka masala.
Mmm. Tofu tikka masala.
Tofu tikka masala. Order up.
Hey, hey, good news, gang.
Don't stop working.
You guys have been such rock stars,
management is gifting
you all smartwatches.
Apple Watches?
Ankle watches. Monitors, really.
They buzz and say stuff to make sure
you're always hustling and a-grinding.
Gil, did you have a chance
to ask payroll
about our overtime?
You know, Marge, I did. Funny story.
Turns out, since you work past midnight,
those hours count as a new day,
so you won't be getting overtime.
That story's not funny at all.
[ANKLE MONITOR VOICE] Rest detected.
- Activating motivational zaps.
Ow! I'm moving, I'm moving.
We work hard for that money,
and you're stealing it.
Look, GimmeChow's just a start-up,
so money's really tight.
You understand, right?
GimmeChow? More like "holy cow"
'cause their stock just
went through the roof.
Ever since the pivot to ghost kitchens,
- this app is on fire.
We've got GimmeChow CEO, Finn Bon Idée,
who, as of today,
is the world's newest billionaire.
[COUGHS] Billionaire?
Ben, congrats! What's your secret?
No secret, Cliff.
I just work a lot harder
than anybody else at GimmeChow.
Mom, is everything okay?
I'm fine, honey. Just watching the man
who's been cheating me
out of my overtime pay.
It kind of shakes my
faith in billionaires.
Oh, this is all my fault.
I feel so guilty your having
to work this hard.
It's okay, sweetie.
We're getting there, slowly.
[SIGHS] It just never seems to go up.
[FINN] Cliff, GimmeChow is a family,
united by one goal:
enriching our shareholders. I mean that.
[GASPS] United. That's it.
You could start a union.
A union? [GROANS] That could be good,
but you know how I feel about fusses,
let alone making them.
[FINN] Gotta run, Cliff.
I'm doing ayahuasca with Jeff Bezos
in outer space.
Okay, let's bring this jerk
back down to Earth.
Union? I don't know, Marge.
The podcaster who tells me
how to be a free-thinker
says unions are for communists.
Unions are the reason
we have child labor laws
and pensions and the weekend.
He was union's idea?
Sure was. What do you drivers think?
Marge, I hate-a the GimmeChow.
First, they drive-a me
out of the business,
and then they rip-a me off.
This is a-not okay.
But I can't afford to make-a the waves.
Please just consider
signing these union cards.
And keep this quiet.
We don't want management
to hear about this yet.
Hey, you're in for a treat, gang!
For no reason whatsoever,
management has asked me to play
this educational video for you.
So, eyes up, ingrates.
Hey, team, if you're watching this,
your kitchen has been infested.
But not with mice or roaches,
which are fine,
but with talk of unionizing.
Unionizing? What's that?
- Sounds scary.
- It is, Chef.
Joining a union would add
another person to your kitchen:
- the Union Ogre.
- Oh!
I create an unnecessary barrier
between you and management.
And I take money out of your pocket.
Hey, I could have bought
a neck tattoo with that.
Let's kill this monster
before he kills us.
[SCOFFS] They'd rather spend their money
on unsettled cartoons
than paying us fairly?
At least, make it live action!
We're grownups, people!
- [OTHERS] Yeah.
- Where's Betty Boop?
That does it.
Marge, here's my signed union card.
We're with you, honey.
[MARGE] Homie. Homie, guess what.
We did it. We started a union.
Oh, that's, uh, great, honey. [CHUCKLES]
That's great. [BELCHES]
Whoops. Sorry.
Too much Tuscan osso buco.
Which we made as a family, of course.
You think management will
retaliate against me?
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, honey.
Corporations aren't vengeful,
just people.
Vengeful people.
[GIL] Good news, Marge,
management's decided
to reimagine your role
in the company.
You're firing me for starting a union?
I wish. We can only fire you
for being bad at your job.
So you just got promoted
to delivery driver.
You got 60 minutes to deliver 40 orders,
or you're out on your keister,
with cause.
Can't forget about cause, ah-cha.

On your mark, get set

My feet won't take me that far ♪
So I gotta ride in your car ♪
My feet won't take me that far ♪
- I gotta ride in your car ♪
To seal the eyes ♪
To feel the eyes ♪
Where in the hell is
my banana cream pie?
I say ride the bull,
wild bull today-ay ♪
He-He, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no ♪
He-He ♪
He-He, oh, no, oh,
no, oh, no, no ♪
I'm gonna make it. One last order,
but it's too big to throw.
- Aah!
Oh, no. No!
[ANKLE MONITOR VOICE] Delivery failed.
Food's [SHRIEKS] here!
Homer, you're user "Mm-Food"?
You've been placing giant orders
every night.
We thought it was a hobo camp
with a stolen credit card.
[GASPS] You haven't been cooking at all.
- Sushi time!
Worst of all, my family lied to me.
[GIL] No, worst of all is
you're fired with cause!
If you're hungry, we've got dinner.
I am so hungry,
and Mom's eating all the empanadas
with the wrong sauces.
Not the verde, use the roja. Roja!
She wouldn't starve her family
over one little act of betrayal,
would she?
Let's go for the pot stickers,
real casual.
No wonder this jug hasn't been going up.
You've been getting delivery for weeks.
Honey, we tried cooking,
but do you have any idea how hard it is
to make dinner every single night?
My own family betrayed me.
You know what family
would never do that?
My union family.
And now, I can't even be a part of that.
- Hmm?
What are you all doing here?
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
We were so manchego cheesed
about not getting paid
our overtime that we
decided to go on strike.
And we can't strike without our leader.
And guess what, Tube Dress?
All the other delivery app
workers are striking with us.
Every food delivery app in
Springfield is shut down.
Stupid strike. I didn't realize it,
but I've gotten addicted to GimmeChow.
I haven't eaten since
this whole thing started.
Why don't you get something
from the cafeteria?
Food only tastes good when
someone brings it to me now.
- [LENNY] Whoa, geez.
- Easy there, Homer.
- You could've fried
every electronic device in Springfield.
Mmm, fried electronic device.
Aw, that one didn't even make sense.
I'm losing it. I need to eat.
I'd sign a deal with the devil himself
- to get my GimmeChow back.
Yes, this is union rabble-rouser
Marge Simpson's husband.
Tonight on "Dollars:
the GimmeChow Strike."
Sweet for labor, or bat for business?
You decide.
Zooming in from Springfield, union capo,
Marge Simpson. Marge,
I'm gonna be as impartial
as possible here.
Why are you starving America
with your psychotic demands?
We're not starving anyone.
All we want is our fair share.
Is that too much to ask?
Yes. And here to tell us why
is GimmeChow's new brand ambassador,
- Homer Simpson.
- What?
Hey, Cliff. Big fan of your whole deal.
Homer, you're working for them?
I sure am.
I was honored when
GimmeChow offered to pay me
in GimmeChow gift cards
to talk to America
about "how unions get
in the way of innovation."
You're in a union at the nuclear plant.
And I haven't innovated
one thing over there.
Look, we're living in the future.
This little device can
get me anything I want.
Songs, sneakers,
anonymous gay hook-ups, so I hear.
Why shouldn't it also bring me food?
But at the cost of human misery?
Misery is how all the
best stuff is made.
Pyramids, railroads, the blues,
those great soccer stadiums in Qatar,
all the things America loves.
Why do you hate America, Marge? Ow!
- Hey! Ow! Marge, stop.
I encourage everyone
who respects workers' rights
to join us on the picket line.
When we stand together, we win.

Marge, your speech on TV worked.
Looks like the whole town's with us.
[ALL] Hey, hey, we get how you feel.
Oh, that's so nice.
[ALL] Now get in the
kitchen and cook our meals.
- What?
- Attention, union thugs.
The eaters of Springfield
have had enough.
You have awoken a lazy giant.
You're just corporate shills
standing in the way of justice.
Shut up, burger flippers.
Just for that, I'm gonna spit in
your face instead of your food.
Good news, everyone.
I found a way to end the strike.
You're meeting our demands?
No. I'm firing everyone.
Because GimmeChow Ghost
Kitchens are now fully robotic.
And food deliveries are back
with non-complaining drones.
- Ah.
[SIGHS] I guess the
greed of the most selfish
will always squash any
hope of a decent life
- for the rest of us.
- Oh, my guy.
Great work, Homer.
Really, I could not have busted up
this union without you.
And stabbing your wife in the back?
Gee, when you say it like that,
it sounds like I stabbed
my wife in the back.
Oh I thought that fried food
delivered by electronic devices
would've been my dream come true.
[GASPS] That's it.
Fried electronic devices,
now it makes sense.
My work is done.
The malfunctioning drones
are dropping everything
from apple pies to zucchini fries,
but nothing is tanking
faster than GimmeChow stock.
Props, where the hell's my tank?
I can't get disrupted.
I'm the disruptor.
I'm the crusher of unions.
- I'm the Oh! [SCREAMS]
That's what I get for
using non-union prop guys.
[HOMER] Marge!
Homer, only you could make
a mess this big.
I did it for you, honey.
All the food in the
world means nothing to me
if you're not there to
keep me from choking on it.
[WISEGUY] With his
automated robots destroyed,
Finn Bonne Ideé was forced
to hire union workers
at a fair wage, including overtime.
Homer used his GimmeChow gift cards
to pay off the chicken's
medical expenses.
And Marge forgave Homer,
but then brought it up
every time they fought
for the rest of their marriage.
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