The Sopranos s04e06 Episode Script
Everybody Hurts
When look at the great pyramid the marvel there for me is not the stonework as much as the level of organization that these ancient Egyptians had getting this society to pul together in such a way that they not only had blocks of stone but bread on the table.
Stone setters were al fairly accomplished.
Very good craftsmen.
lt isn't surprising they had such a long history, thousands of years doing this.
Meet me in 20 minutes at the old Webendorfer factory parking lot.
The real gigantic pyramids were built within the space of about three, maybe four generations.
Jesus Christ! It's true, they're gonna start a draft.
There's no way I'm going in the army.
Yeah, 'cause his old man'd put a horse's head in some senator's bed.
- Insert foot in mouth, Jason.
- No big.
Ever get paranoid they'II, like, shoot up your house like in Godfather l? - Probably got armed guards at night.
- That shit doesn't happen anymore.
- You have attack dogs on the property.
- No.
I mean, we did, but she got hit by a car.
Jason said your old man's mostly legit now, anyway.
Yeah, like what? - He's in waste management.
- Garbage? Recycling.
What about drugs and prostitution and shit? No.
- His dad owns a strip club, though.
- Let's go.
We'd get carded.
We can just stop by, and watch the strippers coming in and out, right? What's going on? Truckload the other night from Port Elizabeth? Give the washing machines to Frank Contino.
You got it.
Vacuum cleaners, too? No, Patsy's got a buyer for those.
You been drinking? Me and Ade had some wine at the house.
Been wanting to talk to you.
Yeah, been wanting to talk to you, too.
I'll go first.
I gotta make it my number-one priority to limit my exposure to potentially damaging conversations and wiretaps.
Sure, guy in your position So, over the next couple of years, more and more I'm gonna be giving my orders through you and then finally, only through you.
What about Sil? You got that with him and Paulie.
Those other guys, Sil, Paulie one thing they're not they're not my blood.
You hear what I'm saying to you? It's a matter of trust.
It's very wise.
Sil's a good consiglieri, and will continue as such.
But he's no fucking spring chicken either.
But it's no reason to be giving him an attitude.
No, of course not.
And there's gonna be a period of transition.
Jesus Christ, T! You're gonna take this family into the 21st century.
We're already in the 21st century, though.
Whatever you say, T.
I'd follow you into the gates of hell.
That's what I was gonna say to you.
What you did for me, that fuck who killed my father I'll never forget that.
I only hope I'm worthy.
- Why wouldn't you be worthy? - I'm just saying.
Yeah, this looks familiar.
The pizza parlor.
Pull over, Matt.
This is it? - It's closed.
- Shit.
This place, this is the pork store.
It's a gay strip club? Obviously it's not a strip club, it's a fucking butcher shop.
I think I got it all messed up.
This is where my dad's office is.
Okay, it's a front.
- Like Genco Olive Oil.
- Yeah, it's like Genco.
- It looks really clandestine.
- So where's the strip club, A.
J.
? Maybe Route 17, or Route 4.
Lodi or something? This is stupid.
Let's go.
I heard a car.
Your son's out past curfew again.
- Call his cell? - My goodness.
I didn't know anybody else was here.
I just use the men's room.
Sometimes I worry about Furio.
Doesn't he seem lonely? I was telling Jessica about him this morning the hygienist in Dr.
Mascera's office? I know I shouldn't gossip, but I think she was having an affair with Dr.
Mascera.
Here she is.
- Their office Christmas card.
- Yeah, there's his hand on her ass.
Stop it.
I think she's ready for somebody nice.
And she seemed very receptive when I described Furio to her.
She's not his type.
What's his type? Don't worry about him.
Stay out of it.
- One date won't hurt.
- Why do you wanna bother? My little Helo, Doly! Speaking of gossip.
That noise in the Mercedes? Yeah? Brought it over to Globe Motors to have it looked at.
And I was talking to Jerry in the service department? Now, remember that nice sales lady? I don't think so.
Gloria Trillo, she gave me a ride home that day? You know what Jerry told me about her? She died.
She what? She committed suicide.
Isn't that awful? Mr.
Empathy over there.
She hung herself from a chandelier.
Good evening, Vesuvio.
I'm sorry, we aren't taking any more reservations, the kitchen is closing.
$50,000.
That's a lotta escarole.
- Did you try the bank? - Escarole? Escarole.
Money.
Escarole.
Money.
Good.
No, the bank, red tape.
I have only until the end of the week.
I told my brother you know people who lend money.
Little pitchers have big ears.
I just need it for 10 days and then, pas de problème.
- Do you mind if I ask what for? - Some business in France.
A group is purchasing an Armagnac property.
I got the dossier right here.
Jesus! Domaine Vézelay.
After Darroze, one of the oldest, largest producers of Bas-Armagnac which is on fire now in France, and all over Europe.
It's the next vodka.
This is a $10 million worldwide launch.
I got $100,000 into it, and I need $50,000 more to get - the North American distribution rights.
- Armagnac? I'll bring you a bottle of Vézelay.
Unbelievable.
- And with cigars, which are now very hot.
- You only need the money for 10 days? How's that? Because when the deal is done, the advertising money is released to me.
You understand, these people that I might know they don't know you.
So I wouldn't be just vouching for you.
I, in essence, would be the lender.
And it's gonna cost you.
- How much? - $10,000.
Merde.
$5,000.
$7,500.
Okay.
Charmaine, I don't think you know Elodi's brother, Jean-Philippe? Nice to meet you, but, Elodi, please can you clear off table four? Thank you.
- Charmaine, she's French? - Not remotely.
She's a hostess.
Not a busboy.
What was about, Arthur? It's just a venture capital thing with Jean-Philippe.
It wouldn't pass your high Wharton School of Business standards.
If you wanna bring in money why don't you get your friend, Anthony Soprano, to pay his tab? - It's close to $6,000.
- I could have an empire like Bobby Flay.
And it still wouldn't be good enough for you.
Okay, I'll make you a deal.
We'll start working on your empire right after we pay the $10,000 of orthodenture Melissa's gonna need this year.
They're on allocation from the factory.
I don't know when we're going to get any more in.
But I'm free if you wanna take it for a spin.
Actually, I was working with one of your other salespeople last year.
She was really very helpful, I ought to give her the business.
Gloria Trillo? She's no longer with us.
You know where she went? Actually, she died.
What happened? She committed suicide.
Why? I mean she was Salesperson of the Year, or something.
I didn't know her that well.
But I got the impression she wasn't very lucky with men, that sort of thing.
- When was this? - Month ago, maybe two.
What'd she say? I mean, you know, in the papers you read they always leave a note.
She did leave a note on her desk.
The police took it.
Later, they told us it was just copy for a classified ad.
She was selling her wolf stole.
Anyway, let me give you my card.
Chef Osso Bucco.
This is a rare pleasure.
Or is it medium-well? A little restaurant humor.
So, you know if you brought a pair of dirty chef whites, my friend here'll suck out the stains for you.
Sit.
Okay, in a nutshell.
- I'd like to borrow a little money.
- How little? $50,000, just for a couple of weeks.
- I'm upgrading the kitchen in the restaurant.
- Get the fuck outta here.
What you take out of that bar you must be sitting on money like King Croesus.
I wish.
I won't be able to lend you money for less than two points.
- It's not a problem.
- Just outta curiosity what's going to happen in two weeks? The insurance check's gonna come.
I hate to do it, Artie but I think I'm gonna pass.
Sorry.
- Why not? - 'Cause if you don't pay me back I ain't gonna be able to hurt you.
So how you doing? - What's going on? - Nothing.
How about you? Fine, thank you.
Really? Business okay? Everybody hunky-dory? You know onward and upward.
How's Gloria Trillo? She still hanging around? - It's a terrible tragedy.
- So you fucking knew.
You fucking lied! You let me fucking sit there! Please, sit down.
How the fuck am I supposed to trust you? You're my doctor.
Please, sit down.
You're scaring me.
- You've been drinking.
- Why the fuck didn't you help her? - Sometimes you can't.
- I bet you charged her enough, didn't you? Bet you didn't cut her a deal, 'cause you're an incompetent.
I give my patients everything I've got.
And when something like this happens, I'm devastated.
She was a good kid.
But she was fucking crazy, and I told you.
And I want you to know that I was up-front with her.
She knew I was married.
I'm aware of that.
Suicide, Jesus Christ! What the fuck? I have to respect confidentiality, even after a patient is dead.
But with something like this there's no one cause.
You yourself just referred to her emotional problems.
She slipped through everyone's grasp.
She did it after me, I mean, admit it.
You know, she reached out to me, for me to care and I wasn't there for her.
Why are you so quick to blame yourself? Come in.
- What's up? You want coffee? - No.
Artie, you need a favor.
- Why didn't you reach out to me? - What are you talking about? Ralph Cifaretto called me and told me you came to him for money? You need something, you don't come to me? - I'm your friend.
- Right.
I didn't want to impinge on our friendship.
But, Artie, this is me Tony.
If I was desperate, if Melissa had a tumor instead of an overbite Madonna santo, knock wood you'd be the first place I went to, but this was a business venture.
- What kind of deal? - Elodi's brother.
Needs a bridge loan, $50,000, and I get back $57,500 in 10 days.
- Thought it was for the restaurant.
- I told Ralphie that.
Don't want him going around me to the principals.
- What for then? - North American distribution rights for Domaine Vézelay Armagnac.
It's the new vodka.
This stuff is sweeping Europe.
It's gonna be bigger than Stoli, Goose.
Who ever heard of Goose before? It's French vodka.
These guys, they're big players.
They're throwing millions behind product introduction.
- All right, you got it.
- I told you, Tony, no.
What the fuck am I? A toxic person or something? No, Tony, come on, please.
I'll charge you a point and a half.
And that's a lot fucking better than Ralph Cifaretto would do.
I insist.
Look here's, like, $3,000.
Somebody's gonna come by, give you the rest.
You're a great guy.
Come here.
It's a good idea.
Snifter, a nice cigar.
You'll see what I mean.
Dinner's almost ready.
Shit.
Which do you wanna see? This or this? Cousin Brian's here! Be right down! - Brian, how you doing? - Good, Ton', great to see you.
Brian brought the papers.
He said you called him last night to hurry things along? Yeah, the Soprano family living trust, as discussed.
Now when I croak, it's her problem.
You have made me so happy.
And if I was, like, obnoxious about this, I'm sorry.
Come on.
That's my lava cookies for the bake sale.
- Would you like a couple for your coffee? - Thanks, but I gotta get back.
We'll see you and Janelle at the Billy Joel thing, right? Wouldn't miss it.
You know what, Ton'? It's a shame you didn't get eight tickets.
Furio and Jessica could have come.
It takes the pressure off of a blind date.
Heshie's guy could only get six.
I'll get the originals back to you.
I'll have a copy, get one to your lawyer.
All right.
You know, that's a nice suit.
What is it? Boss.
- Yeah, I notice you like the good stuff.
- My only vice.
Call this number.
You ask for Patsy.
- Tell him I said to take care of you.
- Thanks, Tony.
- You're a great guy.
- All right.
- Don't forget to call on that meat order.
- No problem.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, Ma.
This is Devin.
- Hi, Devin, how are you? - Really well.
It's nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- Anthony, you want to turn that down? - Yeah.
If you kids are hungry, I can make a couple sandwiches.
No, we're fine, Ma.
Careful of my Lladró, please.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
- What do you call it? - Lladró.
I don't even wanna say how much it costs.
$3,000.
I really wanted to be alone with you.
Your house is out, right? My mom's boyfriend's using it as an office, and I'm not at my dad's till next week.
- My sister's dorm.
- At Columbia? Sure, let's go.
The 33 bus goes into the city every hour.
They're so smelly.
I'll call a car service.
- How much is that? - I'll put it on my AmEx.
I'll call her cell.
- Hello? - Hey, it's me.
I'm on my way into the city with a friend, and I thought maybe we could hook up? Wow, great.
I'm not on campus, but you could meet me.
Take the Cross Bronx Expressway to the corner of Brook Ave.
And 161st Street.
- Brook Avenue and what? - 161st Street.
- Okay.
- All right, see you soon.
I pictured your house different.
I thought it'd be like Don Corleone's compound with gate, wall, big old Cadillacs.
Isn't that stupid? Our place in Tahoe looks exactly like Michael's in l.
Wow, really? No, we don't have a place in Tahoe.
We have a boat though.
I'm like a gangster dude's girlfriend.
- Are you sure this is it? - Brook Avenue and 161st Street.
- Columbia? This looks like Harlem.
- South Bronx.
Don't leave, okay? Help you? They're mine.
When did you get taller than me? Cheokay, this is my little brother.
Cheokay just got accepted at Yale Law.
What's happening? - I'm Meadow, Politeness Man's sister.
- I'm Devin.
Can I talk to you? This is what you do on a Friday night? The South Bronx Law Center.
It's a free criminal defense service for those who can't afford legal counsel.
I intern here.
- I need to use your room.
- What for? You know.
You've gotta be kidding.
Anthony, no.
- Well, just for a little while.
Why not? - I don't even wanna think about it.
It's my bed.
How am I gonna go in there after? We'll just stay on the coverlet.
We came all the way over here.
I thought you wanted to go into the city.
There's all this stuff going on.
I thought we'd go to the Alphabets.
A friend's reading.
She's a novelist.
The greatest cultural center in the world, and you came over here for sex? Probably just gonna cruise.
Is the tree up at Rockefeller Center yet? Look at the way these people have to live.
I think they're overwhelmed.
I mean, they're in a cycle, they keep having kids I know.
We're just so insulated from reality.
I mean, we have everything we want.
When you think about it.
They're on food stamps and welfare.
And my mom could go out and buy a statue for $3,000.
It's $3,000.
- We have a housekeeper three days a week.
- We have one, too.
I guess I just lucked out to be rich and live in a big house.
Even somebody like Steve Mussel.
He's got all right clothes, but have you ever been to his house? I don't think so.
His dad's a math teacher.
They don't even have a dining room.
There's five people living there.
It's just this little box.
Here.
Arthur, already 80 seats tonight.
They come to see you.
I eat so much of your gnocchi, I'm gonna get a belly.
Elodi, is Jean-Philippe okay? - What do you mean? - He was gonna call me.
I left him a couple of messages, he didn't call back.
Did you hear from him? Does he call your mother? He always works strange hours.
The time difference.
By the time we're waking up they're already at home, eating dinner in Toulouse.
I almost forget.
I bring you something.
Boulevard des Slows.
It's for the PA.
I have to put the flowers in the vases.
Problems with the investment, Arthur? What do you mean? Please.
What do you think? She suddenly wants to play "hide the boudin blanc" with you? We don't see you here anymore.
Or up at the house, either.
Christopher, he can't seem to shake this flu.
Yeah, I noticed his skin doesn't look so good.
He's just stressed out.
Which reminds me.
Billy Joel? Maybe you shouldn't count on us.
You mean, you might not be able to come? There's been all these problems at the Crazy Horse, and I don't know What a shame, that's awful.
What am I gonna do with those tickets? God, I love marrow.
Remember Ma with the bone? Sounded like half-price day at the liposuction center.
Please.
It's nice, us having dinner together, catching up.
I'm just glad I'm in a position to do it.
Chocolate soufflé, gelato, sorbet sampler.
- On the house.
- Thank you.
Something for after dinner, I got a nice Armagnac.
I used to drink that in France.
Histamines.
I think it's good.
I know, Tony.
Can I have a Nonino Picolit? - I know it's expensive.
- Yeah, bring me one, too.
So you and Bobby Bacala, huh? So that's it.
What is so fucking compelling to you about my personal business? Jesus Christ, am I such an ogre? I was just gonna say he's a nice guy.
I gotta have an agenda? No, Tony.
- I'm sorry.
- What am I, a toxic person? You're a great brother.
We can go at it pretty good but you always seem to reach out when it counts.
Yeah? Did you ever know anybody that ever committed suicide? Plenty.
I used to live in Seattle, Tony.
Anybody close? Murray Furlong.
He was a good friend.
He lived upstairs.
People said he was in the CIA, gone for long periods of time and I always thought he was gay.
I don't know.
Maybe that's not mutually exclusive.
Anyway one day he sucked on the end of a deer rifle.
Do you feel responsible? Yeah, I did.
You know, partly, we all did.
My last conversation with him was an argument if you can call it that, about him asking me to accept FedEx packages for him.
- But you never really know why.
- Probably it was his name.
You can leave the bottle.
And, Artie, put that on my tab.
Of course.
Tony, can I talk to you? What's going on? I just wanna give you a little heads up.
I know the money's due in a couple of days.
I'm a little concerned.
I can't get a hold of Jean-Philippe, he doesn't return my calls.
- Did you go over there? - Not yet.
Artie, you gotta go over there.
- The guy's not returning your phone calls.
- I know.
They miss a payment, start acting like they're doing you a favor if they give you anything.
And then you gotta spend all your time hounding 'em.
You gotta get your arms around this thing.
You know what I'm saying? Jean-Philippe, you're home.
I called you five times, qu'est-ce que c'est? Message machine broken? Nice crib.
What is that, Berber carpet? Those fucking shoes you wear what are they, designer? You fucking avoiding me, motherfucker? Where's my money? What, are you gonna cry now? Stand up, you frog-eating faccia di cazz', I will fuck you up, man.
It's you.
Hello.
Come in.
You're home.
Qu'est-ce que c'est, man? Message machine broken? I'm sorry, I've been wishing to call you.
Nice crib.
You were supposed to give me my money two days ago.
I know.
Crédit Lyonnais, they didn't come through with the second round of financing yet.
My partners are sick about it.
That's not my problem, Jean-Philippe.
- I want my money.
- I just told you, I don't have it.
- When are you gonna get it? - I don't know, okay? I don't know.
It doesn't look too good.
What does that mean? I mean, I don't know if it's going to happen, all right? They were not convinced to our business model.
They didn't agree there was as much potential for Armagnac.
The problem has been, it seems, that people cannot figure out how to market Armagnac.
The hip approach, like with Stoli, fails.
You said it was the next vodka! Hey, so we are big boys, we must move on.
Frog-eating, fucking faccia di cazz'.
- What did you say? - I said, I want my money! Are you stupid? That money's spent.
Operating expenses, notaires, travel.
No! - You have my $50,000.
- It's business, it's a risk.
- I have a daughter who needs braces! - Listen to me, I don't have it right now.
You fucking, French, fucking, lying cocksucker! Fuck your mother! My earring! - You ripped my fucking ear! - Du con.
- I want my money.
- Fuck you! I see you again, I'll kill you.
The thing is to keep knocking on the door without going in right away.
Poke the perimeter, tap on the gate till she's out of her fucking mind, begging.
Then you own that shit, that pussy's yours.
I think she's ready.
We shall know forsooth.
Liz has been to her house.
She says it's nice.
lt doesn't look that great.
lt's kind of Bo Peep-ish.
Can l help you? We're here to see Devin Pillsbury.
Proceed on up, park in the auto court.
Help you guys? It's okay, Ted.
Hi, guys.
You wanna pull it over here for me, sir? Wow, nice place.
Get outta here.
No, it's true.
Iceland is a volcano.
Hawaii is a volcano.
Come here.
Hello? I just want you to know that I tried.
And l didn't mean to hurt anybody.
And I love you, and I'm sorry I let you down.
Artie? What's the matter? What's wrong with you? I'm a complete and total failure.
You take care of Charmaine.
What did you do, Artie? What did you do? I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Artie, did you take something? Don't go to sleep! Artie, you hear me? Don't go to sleep! Jesus fucking Christ! What's wrong? You gotta go? A friend of mine.
Fucking idiot took some pills or something, he's trying to kill himself.
What the fuck am I doing? I'm gonna call 911.
They'll do him more good than I can.
- Are these real? - Yeah.
So this is, like, a real Picasso? My dad collects his later stuff.
They're all cocks.
Picasso was an old man by then.
Shit, they must be worth millions, at least.
Isn't your dad afraid we're gonna steal them? What is that, a Sota turntable? Whoa, Patrick, little Mr.
Consumer.
You don't like that? Do you want something else? No, just I wish you would've said something.
It doesn't mean anything.
I feel so stupid.
My mother's stupid Lladró and we have a housekeeper three days a week? I don't care.
I like you.
Rubber Soul in mint condition.
This has gotta be worth, what? - You should've told me.
- And what would you have done if I did? I don't know, but if it wasn't such a big deal, why didn't you say something? Jesus.
What happened? It all went to shit.
"The next vodka.
" So this is what you do? But you don't understand.
The money's gone.
Can't you come and talk to me? I'm your friend.
Suppose you hadn't been able to reach me, and I go to your house and find you dead.
How am I supposed to feel? Take the restaurant.
I don't want the fucking restaurant.
Then how am I gonna pay you back? $50,000, it'd take the rest of my life.
It's $51,500, vig-wise, Artie and technically, you already missed a payment.
All right, look, let's just We'll wipe my tab at the restaurant.
Thank you.
Tony, that's what, $6,000? What about the rest of the money? I'll assume the guy's dead.
- Collect the $50,000.
- Thank you.
The cobwebs are now removed.
What the fuck are you talking about? You saw this whole thing, didn't you? You knew exactly what was gonna happen.
You can see 20 moves down the road.
Please, I don't blame you, I envy you.
It's like an instinct, like a hawk sees a little mouse moving around a cornfield, from a mile up.
You think it's my fault you're fucking lying in here? It's just that somebody mentions $50,000 to bankroll a French digestif, and your mind goes through all the permutations at, like, internet speed and realizes: "Worst case scenario: I eat for free.
" You fucking suicide! - You're disgraceful! - I'm sorry.
No, fuck that! Does anybody else know I loaned you the money? - Like who? - I don't give a fuck who.
Adriana, Father Intintola, my wife, anybody? All right, you got mugged.
Outside of your house, it was a street crime, kids.
They took your wallet and your watch.
Where are they? - Why? - Come on.
Why? You don't care what people think? I do! Enough people hate me.
You fought back, they ripped your earring outta your ear you were bleeding, went inside the house, you took pills for the pain 'cause you'd have to wait at the emergency room for a couple hours.
They pumped my stomach.
They saw the Armagnac.
You got fucking mugged! Do you understand me? I didn't loan you shit.
I had this dream.
My grandfather's sitting at a table, and in front of him is Steak Pizzaiola.
And standing next to him is my grandmother.
And she's wearing a blue dress and pouring him a glass of wine.
And he says to me, "You see this? "If you got a good wife, you're a millionaire.
" So the next day, I go over Carmela's house for dinner with her family.
And in front of me is Steak Pizzaiola.
Before I could realize the déjà vu that was going on Carmela's standing next to me in a blue dress pouring me a glass of soda.
The next day, I bought the ring.
That is so incredible, so romantic.
She's a romantic one, this one.
- She gonna clean my teeth for me.
- Really? I have to confess.
You know, sometimes, I find the dentist erotic.
Brian, all night, I admire your suit.
My man, Mr.
Soprano, turned me on to it.
Nice.
Patsy? - I'd like to propose a toast to our host.
- Hear, hear.
Tony, great tickets, great meal, great wine and for being a great guy, who I'm proud to call a new friend.
So he says I planned it all along that I could see 20 steps down the road how it was gonna go and how he was gonna get screwed.
Did you? - See it? - I don't know.
According to him, it's subconscious, second nature.
- But the accusation bothers you.
- Is that the kind of person I am? A hawk? That's an animal.
As I understand it, you make a lot of your living through usury.
So why the pangs of conscience this time? Do you think your reaction would've been the same, if it all your friend taking the pills, all of it hadn't happened a week or so after you found out about Gloria? I'll tell you one thing.
One suicide is bad enough, but two? They can both go fuck themselves.
I made a donation to the suicide hotline in her name and that's it.
The projection screen in their media room was as big as the small ones at AMC.
I heard Mr.
Pillsbury is some kind of financial corporate wiz or something? - Dude, you're the Pillsbury dough boy.
- Shut up.
Hey, A.
J.
, how come your dad doesn't have that Don Corleone money? I don't know.
Stone setters were al fairly accomplished.
Very good craftsmen.
lt isn't surprising they had such a long history, thousands of years doing this.
Meet me in 20 minutes at the old Webendorfer factory parking lot.
The real gigantic pyramids were built within the space of about three, maybe four generations.
Jesus Christ! It's true, they're gonna start a draft.
There's no way I'm going in the army.
Yeah, 'cause his old man'd put a horse's head in some senator's bed.
- Insert foot in mouth, Jason.
- No big.
Ever get paranoid they'II, like, shoot up your house like in Godfather l? - Probably got armed guards at night.
- That shit doesn't happen anymore.
- You have attack dogs on the property.
- No.
I mean, we did, but she got hit by a car.
Jason said your old man's mostly legit now, anyway.
Yeah, like what? - He's in waste management.
- Garbage? Recycling.
What about drugs and prostitution and shit? No.
- His dad owns a strip club, though.
- Let's go.
We'd get carded.
We can just stop by, and watch the strippers coming in and out, right? What's going on? Truckload the other night from Port Elizabeth? Give the washing machines to Frank Contino.
You got it.
Vacuum cleaners, too? No, Patsy's got a buyer for those.
You been drinking? Me and Ade had some wine at the house.
Been wanting to talk to you.
Yeah, been wanting to talk to you, too.
I'll go first.
I gotta make it my number-one priority to limit my exposure to potentially damaging conversations and wiretaps.
Sure, guy in your position So, over the next couple of years, more and more I'm gonna be giving my orders through you and then finally, only through you.
What about Sil? You got that with him and Paulie.
Those other guys, Sil, Paulie one thing they're not they're not my blood.
You hear what I'm saying to you? It's a matter of trust.
It's very wise.
Sil's a good consiglieri, and will continue as such.
But he's no fucking spring chicken either.
But it's no reason to be giving him an attitude.
No, of course not.
And there's gonna be a period of transition.
Jesus Christ, T! You're gonna take this family into the 21st century.
We're already in the 21st century, though.
Whatever you say, T.
I'd follow you into the gates of hell.
That's what I was gonna say to you.
What you did for me, that fuck who killed my father I'll never forget that.
I only hope I'm worthy.
- Why wouldn't you be worthy? - I'm just saying.
Yeah, this looks familiar.
The pizza parlor.
Pull over, Matt.
This is it? - It's closed.
- Shit.
This place, this is the pork store.
It's a gay strip club? Obviously it's not a strip club, it's a fucking butcher shop.
I think I got it all messed up.
This is where my dad's office is.
Okay, it's a front.
- Like Genco Olive Oil.
- Yeah, it's like Genco.
- It looks really clandestine.
- So where's the strip club, A.
J.
? Maybe Route 17, or Route 4.
Lodi or something? This is stupid.
Let's go.
I heard a car.
Your son's out past curfew again.
- Call his cell? - My goodness.
I didn't know anybody else was here.
I just use the men's room.
Sometimes I worry about Furio.
Doesn't he seem lonely? I was telling Jessica about him this morning the hygienist in Dr.
Mascera's office? I know I shouldn't gossip, but I think she was having an affair with Dr.
Mascera.
Here she is.
- Their office Christmas card.
- Yeah, there's his hand on her ass.
Stop it.
I think she's ready for somebody nice.
And she seemed very receptive when I described Furio to her.
She's not his type.
What's his type? Don't worry about him.
Stay out of it.
- One date won't hurt.
- Why do you wanna bother? My little Helo, Doly! Speaking of gossip.
That noise in the Mercedes? Yeah? Brought it over to Globe Motors to have it looked at.
And I was talking to Jerry in the service department? Now, remember that nice sales lady? I don't think so.
Gloria Trillo, she gave me a ride home that day? You know what Jerry told me about her? She died.
She what? She committed suicide.
Isn't that awful? Mr.
Empathy over there.
She hung herself from a chandelier.
Good evening, Vesuvio.
I'm sorry, we aren't taking any more reservations, the kitchen is closing.
$50,000.
That's a lotta escarole.
- Did you try the bank? - Escarole? Escarole.
Money.
Escarole.
Money.
Good.
No, the bank, red tape.
I have only until the end of the week.
I told my brother you know people who lend money.
Little pitchers have big ears.
I just need it for 10 days and then, pas de problème.
- Do you mind if I ask what for? - Some business in France.
A group is purchasing an Armagnac property.
I got the dossier right here.
Jesus! Domaine Vézelay.
After Darroze, one of the oldest, largest producers of Bas-Armagnac which is on fire now in France, and all over Europe.
It's the next vodka.
This is a $10 million worldwide launch.
I got $100,000 into it, and I need $50,000 more to get - the North American distribution rights.
- Armagnac? I'll bring you a bottle of Vézelay.
Unbelievable.
- And with cigars, which are now very hot.
- You only need the money for 10 days? How's that? Because when the deal is done, the advertising money is released to me.
You understand, these people that I might know they don't know you.
So I wouldn't be just vouching for you.
I, in essence, would be the lender.
And it's gonna cost you.
- How much? - $10,000.
Merde.
$5,000.
$7,500.
Okay.
Charmaine, I don't think you know Elodi's brother, Jean-Philippe? Nice to meet you, but, Elodi, please can you clear off table four? Thank you.
- Charmaine, she's French? - Not remotely.
She's a hostess.
Not a busboy.
What was about, Arthur? It's just a venture capital thing with Jean-Philippe.
It wouldn't pass your high Wharton School of Business standards.
If you wanna bring in money why don't you get your friend, Anthony Soprano, to pay his tab? - It's close to $6,000.
- I could have an empire like Bobby Flay.
And it still wouldn't be good enough for you.
Okay, I'll make you a deal.
We'll start working on your empire right after we pay the $10,000 of orthodenture Melissa's gonna need this year.
They're on allocation from the factory.
I don't know when we're going to get any more in.
But I'm free if you wanna take it for a spin.
Actually, I was working with one of your other salespeople last year.
She was really very helpful, I ought to give her the business.
Gloria Trillo? She's no longer with us.
You know where she went? Actually, she died.
What happened? She committed suicide.
Why? I mean she was Salesperson of the Year, or something.
I didn't know her that well.
But I got the impression she wasn't very lucky with men, that sort of thing.
- When was this? - Month ago, maybe two.
What'd she say? I mean, you know, in the papers you read they always leave a note.
She did leave a note on her desk.
The police took it.
Later, they told us it was just copy for a classified ad.
She was selling her wolf stole.
Anyway, let me give you my card.
Chef Osso Bucco.
This is a rare pleasure.
Or is it medium-well? A little restaurant humor.
So, you know if you brought a pair of dirty chef whites, my friend here'll suck out the stains for you.
Sit.
Okay, in a nutshell.
- I'd like to borrow a little money.
- How little? $50,000, just for a couple of weeks.
- I'm upgrading the kitchen in the restaurant.
- Get the fuck outta here.
What you take out of that bar you must be sitting on money like King Croesus.
I wish.
I won't be able to lend you money for less than two points.
- It's not a problem.
- Just outta curiosity what's going to happen in two weeks? The insurance check's gonna come.
I hate to do it, Artie but I think I'm gonna pass.
Sorry.
- Why not? - 'Cause if you don't pay me back I ain't gonna be able to hurt you.
So how you doing? - What's going on? - Nothing.
How about you? Fine, thank you.
Really? Business okay? Everybody hunky-dory? You know onward and upward.
How's Gloria Trillo? She still hanging around? - It's a terrible tragedy.
- So you fucking knew.
You fucking lied! You let me fucking sit there! Please, sit down.
How the fuck am I supposed to trust you? You're my doctor.
Please, sit down.
You're scaring me.
- You've been drinking.
- Why the fuck didn't you help her? - Sometimes you can't.
- I bet you charged her enough, didn't you? Bet you didn't cut her a deal, 'cause you're an incompetent.
I give my patients everything I've got.
And when something like this happens, I'm devastated.
She was a good kid.
But she was fucking crazy, and I told you.
And I want you to know that I was up-front with her.
She knew I was married.
I'm aware of that.
Suicide, Jesus Christ! What the fuck? I have to respect confidentiality, even after a patient is dead.
But with something like this there's no one cause.
You yourself just referred to her emotional problems.
She slipped through everyone's grasp.
She did it after me, I mean, admit it.
You know, she reached out to me, for me to care and I wasn't there for her.
Why are you so quick to blame yourself? Come in.
- What's up? You want coffee? - No.
Artie, you need a favor.
- Why didn't you reach out to me? - What are you talking about? Ralph Cifaretto called me and told me you came to him for money? You need something, you don't come to me? - I'm your friend.
- Right.
I didn't want to impinge on our friendship.
But, Artie, this is me Tony.
If I was desperate, if Melissa had a tumor instead of an overbite Madonna santo, knock wood you'd be the first place I went to, but this was a business venture.
- What kind of deal? - Elodi's brother.
Needs a bridge loan, $50,000, and I get back $57,500 in 10 days.
- Thought it was for the restaurant.
- I told Ralphie that.
Don't want him going around me to the principals.
- What for then? - North American distribution rights for Domaine Vézelay Armagnac.
It's the new vodka.
This stuff is sweeping Europe.
It's gonna be bigger than Stoli, Goose.
Who ever heard of Goose before? It's French vodka.
These guys, they're big players.
They're throwing millions behind product introduction.
- All right, you got it.
- I told you, Tony, no.
What the fuck am I? A toxic person or something? No, Tony, come on, please.
I'll charge you a point and a half.
And that's a lot fucking better than Ralph Cifaretto would do.
I insist.
Look here's, like, $3,000.
Somebody's gonna come by, give you the rest.
You're a great guy.
Come here.
It's a good idea.
Snifter, a nice cigar.
You'll see what I mean.
Dinner's almost ready.
Shit.
Which do you wanna see? This or this? Cousin Brian's here! Be right down! - Brian, how you doing? - Good, Ton', great to see you.
Brian brought the papers.
He said you called him last night to hurry things along? Yeah, the Soprano family living trust, as discussed.
Now when I croak, it's her problem.
You have made me so happy.
And if I was, like, obnoxious about this, I'm sorry.
Come on.
That's my lava cookies for the bake sale.
- Would you like a couple for your coffee? - Thanks, but I gotta get back.
We'll see you and Janelle at the Billy Joel thing, right? Wouldn't miss it.
You know what, Ton'? It's a shame you didn't get eight tickets.
Furio and Jessica could have come.
It takes the pressure off of a blind date.
Heshie's guy could only get six.
I'll get the originals back to you.
I'll have a copy, get one to your lawyer.
All right.
You know, that's a nice suit.
What is it? Boss.
- Yeah, I notice you like the good stuff.
- My only vice.
Call this number.
You ask for Patsy.
- Tell him I said to take care of you.
- Thanks, Tony.
- You're a great guy.
- All right.
- Don't forget to call on that meat order.
- No problem.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, Ma.
This is Devin.
- Hi, Devin, how are you? - Really well.
It's nice to meet you.
- Thank you.
- Anthony, you want to turn that down? - Yeah.
If you kids are hungry, I can make a couple sandwiches.
No, we're fine, Ma.
Careful of my Lladró, please.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
- What do you call it? - Lladró.
I don't even wanna say how much it costs.
$3,000.
I really wanted to be alone with you.
Your house is out, right? My mom's boyfriend's using it as an office, and I'm not at my dad's till next week.
- My sister's dorm.
- At Columbia? Sure, let's go.
The 33 bus goes into the city every hour.
They're so smelly.
I'll call a car service.
- How much is that? - I'll put it on my AmEx.
I'll call her cell.
- Hello? - Hey, it's me.
I'm on my way into the city with a friend, and I thought maybe we could hook up? Wow, great.
I'm not on campus, but you could meet me.
Take the Cross Bronx Expressway to the corner of Brook Ave.
And 161st Street.
- Brook Avenue and what? - 161st Street.
- Okay.
- All right, see you soon.
I pictured your house different.
I thought it'd be like Don Corleone's compound with gate, wall, big old Cadillacs.
Isn't that stupid? Our place in Tahoe looks exactly like Michael's in l.
Wow, really? No, we don't have a place in Tahoe.
We have a boat though.
I'm like a gangster dude's girlfriend.
- Are you sure this is it? - Brook Avenue and 161st Street.
- Columbia? This looks like Harlem.
- South Bronx.
Don't leave, okay? Help you? They're mine.
When did you get taller than me? Cheokay, this is my little brother.
Cheokay just got accepted at Yale Law.
What's happening? - I'm Meadow, Politeness Man's sister.
- I'm Devin.
Can I talk to you? This is what you do on a Friday night? The South Bronx Law Center.
It's a free criminal defense service for those who can't afford legal counsel.
I intern here.
- I need to use your room.
- What for? You know.
You've gotta be kidding.
Anthony, no.
- Well, just for a little while.
Why not? - I don't even wanna think about it.
It's my bed.
How am I gonna go in there after? We'll just stay on the coverlet.
We came all the way over here.
I thought you wanted to go into the city.
There's all this stuff going on.
I thought we'd go to the Alphabets.
A friend's reading.
She's a novelist.
The greatest cultural center in the world, and you came over here for sex? Probably just gonna cruise.
Is the tree up at Rockefeller Center yet? Look at the way these people have to live.
I think they're overwhelmed.
I mean, they're in a cycle, they keep having kids I know.
We're just so insulated from reality.
I mean, we have everything we want.
When you think about it.
They're on food stamps and welfare.
And my mom could go out and buy a statue for $3,000.
It's $3,000.
- We have a housekeeper three days a week.
- We have one, too.
I guess I just lucked out to be rich and live in a big house.
Even somebody like Steve Mussel.
He's got all right clothes, but have you ever been to his house? I don't think so.
His dad's a math teacher.
They don't even have a dining room.
There's five people living there.
It's just this little box.
Here.
Arthur, already 80 seats tonight.
They come to see you.
I eat so much of your gnocchi, I'm gonna get a belly.
Elodi, is Jean-Philippe okay? - What do you mean? - He was gonna call me.
I left him a couple of messages, he didn't call back.
Did you hear from him? Does he call your mother? He always works strange hours.
The time difference.
By the time we're waking up they're already at home, eating dinner in Toulouse.
I almost forget.
I bring you something.
Boulevard des Slows.
It's for the PA.
I have to put the flowers in the vases.
Problems with the investment, Arthur? What do you mean? Please.
What do you think? She suddenly wants to play "hide the boudin blanc" with you? We don't see you here anymore.
Or up at the house, either.
Christopher, he can't seem to shake this flu.
Yeah, I noticed his skin doesn't look so good.
He's just stressed out.
Which reminds me.
Billy Joel? Maybe you shouldn't count on us.
You mean, you might not be able to come? There's been all these problems at the Crazy Horse, and I don't know What a shame, that's awful.
What am I gonna do with those tickets? God, I love marrow.
Remember Ma with the bone? Sounded like half-price day at the liposuction center.
Please.
It's nice, us having dinner together, catching up.
I'm just glad I'm in a position to do it.
Chocolate soufflé, gelato, sorbet sampler.
- On the house.
- Thank you.
Something for after dinner, I got a nice Armagnac.
I used to drink that in France.
Histamines.
I think it's good.
I know, Tony.
Can I have a Nonino Picolit? - I know it's expensive.
- Yeah, bring me one, too.
So you and Bobby Bacala, huh? So that's it.
What is so fucking compelling to you about my personal business? Jesus Christ, am I such an ogre? I was just gonna say he's a nice guy.
I gotta have an agenda? No, Tony.
- I'm sorry.
- What am I, a toxic person? You're a great brother.
We can go at it pretty good but you always seem to reach out when it counts.
Yeah? Did you ever know anybody that ever committed suicide? Plenty.
I used to live in Seattle, Tony.
Anybody close? Murray Furlong.
He was a good friend.
He lived upstairs.
People said he was in the CIA, gone for long periods of time and I always thought he was gay.
I don't know.
Maybe that's not mutually exclusive.
Anyway one day he sucked on the end of a deer rifle.
Do you feel responsible? Yeah, I did.
You know, partly, we all did.
My last conversation with him was an argument if you can call it that, about him asking me to accept FedEx packages for him.
- But you never really know why.
- Probably it was his name.
You can leave the bottle.
And, Artie, put that on my tab.
Of course.
Tony, can I talk to you? What's going on? I just wanna give you a little heads up.
I know the money's due in a couple of days.
I'm a little concerned.
I can't get a hold of Jean-Philippe, he doesn't return my calls.
- Did you go over there? - Not yet.
Artie, you gotta go over there.
- The guy's not returning your phone calls.
- I know.
They miss a payment, start acting like they're doing you a favor if they give you anything.
And then you gotta spend all your time hounding 'em.
You gotta get your arms around this thing.
You know what I'm saying? Jean-Philippe, you're home.
I called you five times, qu'est-ce que c'est? Message machine broken? Nice crib.
What is that, Berber carpet? Those fucking shoes you wear what are they, designer? You fucking avoiding me, motherfucker? Where's my money? What, are you gonna cry now? Stand up, you frog-eating faccia di cazz', I will fuck you up, man.
It's you.
Hello.
Come in.
You're home.
Qu'est-ce que c'est, man? Message machine broken? I'm sorry, I've been wishing to call you.
Nice crib.
You were supposed to give me my money two days ago.
I know.
Crédit Lyonnais, they didn't come through with the second round of financing yet.
My partners are sick about it.
That's not my problem, Jean-Philippe.
- I want my money.
- I just told you, I don't have it.
- When are you gonna get it? - I don't know, okay? I don't know.
It doesn't look too good.
What does that mean? I mean, I don't know if it's going to happen, all right? They were not convinced to our business model.
They didn't agree there was as much potential for Armagnac.
The problem has been, it seems, that people cannot figure out how to market Armagnac.
The hip approach, like with Stoli, fails.
You said it was the next vodka! Hey, so we are big boys, we must move on.
Frog-eating, fucking faccia di cazz'.
- What did you say? - I said, I want my money! Are you stupid? That money's spent.
Operating expenses, notaires, travel.
No! - You have my $50,000.
- It's business, it's a risk.
- I have a daughter who needs braces! - Listen to me, I don't have it right now.
You fucking, French, fucking, lying cocksucker! Fuck your mother! My earring! - You ripped my fucking ear! - Du con.
- I want my money.
- Fuck you! I see you again, I'll kill you.
The thing is to keep knocking on the door without going in right away.
Poke the perimeter, tap on the gate till she's out of her fucking mind, begging.
Then you own that shit, that pussy's yours.
I think she's ready.
We shall know forsooth.
Liz has been to her house.
She says it's nice.
lt doesn't look that great.
lt's kind of Bo Peep-ish.
Can l help you? We're here to see Devin Pillsbury.
Proceed on up, park in the auto court.
Help you guys? It's okay, Ted.
Hi, guys.
You wanna pull it over here for me, sir? Wow, nice place.
Get outta here.
No, it's true.
Iceland is a volcano.
Hawaii is a volcano.
Come here.
Hello? I just want you to know that I tried.
And l didn't mean to hurt anybody.
And I love you, and I'm sorry I let you down.
Artie? What's the matter? What's wrong with you? I'm a complete and total failure.
You take care of Charmaine.
What did you do, Artie? What did you do? I'm just gonna go to sleep.
Artie, did you take something? Don't go to sleep! Artie, you hear me? Don't go to sleep! Jesus fucking Christ! What's wrong? You gotta go? A friend of mine.
Fucking idiot took some pills or something, he's trying to kill himself.
What the fuck am I doing? I'm gonna call 911.
They'll do him more good than I can.
- Are these real? - Yeah.
So this is, like, a real Picasso? My dad collects his later stuff.
They're all cocks.
Picasso was an old man by then.
Shit, they must be worth millions, at least.
Isn't your dad afraid we're gonna steal them? What is that, a Sota turntable? Whoa, Patrick, little Mr.
Consumer.
You don't like that? Do you want something else? No, just I wish you would've said something.
It doesn't mean anything.
I feel so stupid.
My mother's stupid Lladró and we have a housekeeper three days a week? I don't care.
I like you.
Rubber Soul in mint condition.
This has gotta be worth, what? - You should've told me.
- And what would you have done if I did? I don't know, but if it wasn't such a big deal, why didn't you say something? Jesus.
What happened? It all went to shit.
"The next vodka.
" So this is what you do? But you don't understand.
The money's gone.
Can't you come and talk to me? I'm your friend.
Suppose you hadn't been able to reach me, and I go to your house and find you dead.
How am I supposed to feel? Take the restaurant.
I don't want the fucking restaurant.
Then how am I gonna pay you back? $50,000, it'd take the rest of my life.
It's $51,500, vig-wise, Artie and technically, you already missed a payment.
All right, look, let's just We'll wipe my tab at the restaurant.
Thank you.
Tony, that's what, $6,000? What about the rest of the money? I'll assume the guy's dead.
- Collect the $50,000.
- Thank you.
The cobwebs are now removed.
What the fuck are you talking about? You saw this whole thing, didn't you? You knew exactly what was gonna happen.
You can see 20 moves down the road.
Please, I don't blame you, I envy you.
It's like an instinct, like a hawk sees a little mouse moving around a cornfield, from a mile up.
You think it's my fault you're fucking lying in here? It's just that somebody mentions $50,000 to bankroll a French digestif, and your mind goes through all the permutations at, like, internet speed and realizes: "Worst case scenario: I eat for free.
" You fucking suicide! - You're disgraceful! - I'm sorry.
No, fuck that! Does anybody else know I loaned you the money? - Like who? - I don't give a fuck who.
Adriana, Father Intintola, my wife, anybody? All right, you got mugged.
Outside of your house, it was a street crime, kids.
They took your wallet and your watch.
Where are they? - Why? - Come on.
Why? You don't care what people think? I do! Enough people hate me.
You fought back, they ripped your earring outta your ear you were bleeding, went inside the house, you took pills for the pain 'cause you'd have to wait at the emergency room for a couple hours.
They pumped my stomach.
They saw the Armagnac.
You got fucking mugged! Do you understand me? I didn't loan you shit.
I had this dream.
My grandfather's sitting at a table, and in front of him is Steak Pizzaiola.
And standing next to him is my grandmother.
And she's wearing a blue dress and pouring him a glass of wine.
And he says to me, "You see this? "If you got a good wife, you're a millionaire.
" So the next day, I go over Carmela's house for dinner with her family.
And in front of me is Steak Pizzaiola.
Before I could realize the déjà vu that was going on Carmela's standing next to me in a blue dress pouring me a glass of soda.
The next day, I bought the ring.
That is so incredible, so romantic.
She's a romantic one, this one.
- She gonna clean my teeth for me.
- Really? I have to confess.
You know, sometimes, I find the dentist erotic.
Brian, all night, I admire your suit.
My man, Mr.
Soprano, turned me on to it.
Nice.
Patsy? - I'd like to propose a toast to our host.
- Hear, hear.
Tony, great tickets, great meal, great wine and for being a great guy, who I'm proud to call a new friend.
So he says I planned it all along that I could see 20 steps down the road how it was gonna go and how he was gonna get screwed.
Did you? - See it? - I don't know.
According to him, it's subconscious, second nature.
- But the accusation bothers you.
- Is that the kind of person I am? A hawk? That's an animal.
As I understand it, you make a lot of your living through usury.
So why the pangs of conscience this time? Do you think your reaction would've been the same, if it all your friend taking the pills, all of it hadn't happened a week or so after you found out about Gloria? I'll tell you one thing.
One suicide is bad enough, but two? They can both go fuck themselves.
I made a donation to the suicide hotline in her name and that's it.
The projection screen in their media room was as big as the small ones at AMC.
I heard Mr.
Pillsbury is some kind of financial corporate wiz or something? - Dude, you're the Pillsbury dough boy.
- Shut up.
Hey, A.
J.
, how come your dad doesn't have that Don Corleone money? I don't know.