The Sticky (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[soft music playing]
[liquid dripping]
[eerie music playing]
[liquid continues dripping]
[car approaching]
[car door closing]
[woman] Monsieur Steeks?
[indistinct police radio chatter]
Monsieur Steeks?
Mr. Orval Steeks?
[banging on door]
Anyone home?
Allô?
Mr. Steeks?
[in French] It's the police.
Mr. Steeks?
We got a call about a disturbance?
Maybe the neighbours heard a raccoon?
[man] There would be shit everywhere.
There is shit everywhere.
Come on, let's go.
There's nothing here.
Hmm.
[melodic ringtone playing]
What's that?
[singing] Dadadadadha
[in normal voice] I think
it's La Cucaracha.
I know it's La Cuc
[clicks tongue]
But where is it coming from?
[ringtone continues playing]
[ringtone getting louder]
[sniffing]
Hmm. It's syrup.
It's good, too.
Must've dropped his phone
while he was
Oh! Fuck!
- Oh!
- [gasps]
- Oh God!
- Shit.
Oh God!
[man groans]
[man] I'm gonna be sick.
["La Cucaracha" playing]
[woman] Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Don't touch my fucking shit!
Hey!
Get your hands off my trees!
Get 'em off!
Okay, pardon me, Ms?
Don't touch my tree!
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm with the Association
Érable Québec.
I'm not stupid. I speak French.
Mm-hmm.
Are you Ruth Landry?
No, I'm Jennifer Aniston,
this is where I like to lay low.
- [laughs sarcastically]
- You're spilling my money.
Your farm's being shut down.
What?
And we're also confiscating
all your previously harvested syrup.
What is this shit?
Well, you have been deemed
an unlicensed operator.
Yeah. Well, who Who did this?
Was it-was-was this Was this Léonard?
What It was Léonard, wasn't it?
All I need is a signature
from your husband,
so we can clear this up,
if I can speak with him?
Touch one more thing, and I will find out
where you live and burn it down!
Not just your house,
but the birds and the squirrels,
and all the fucking acorns,
and the power lines, the whole deal.
If you think I'm exaggerating,
you just ask around!
Whoo!
Happy birthday, my Rémy
Happy birthday, my Rémy
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday, my Rémy
Papa, come on!
Happy day before your birthday,
mon homme!
Oh, uh
Make a wish!
Uhh I better not I'm off sugar.
Yeah, sorry.
So, Tiger, have you thought about
what you want to do for your party?
Uh I don't know, Dad.
I've got a big day today.
Can we talk about it later?
After my presentation?
Are you ready?
Yeah, I am.
[Dad] But you only turn 40 once.
Yeah
Dad!
[chuckling]
A little gift.
Thank you.
Beth at the bank has been listening
to this, and now, she's killing it.
But I'm also killing it, pa.
Of course you are!
Yeah.
Wow!
[chuckling]
Thanks!
[moaning]
LADIES WELCOME
[indistinct chatter]
[phone ringing]
Hey, pal, second Tuesday
of the month, so
Not "pal"
Denis.
Sorry. Dennis.
Not Dennis.
Denis.
Denis.
Denis.
- Denis.
- Yeah!
[laughter]
The candyman's back!
Yeah, uh
Well, look, I really need
this month's money.
- And I've had a shit day, so
- Ah
Sorry.
Lollipop wants his reward.
[laughter]
We have to do this every time?
Keep it simple
- and give me the money.
- Whoa, whoa
- This money?
- Yeah.
This belongs to the family.
My deal is with them.
How do I know you won't lose it?
Candy-ass
Sorry.
Just messing with you, man.
Say hi to Charlie for me.
- [man] Oh!
- [laughter]
[indistinct chatter]
[sighing]
- [indistinct chatter]
- [laughter]
[laughter intensifies]
- [door closing]
- Léonard!
Léonard?
Where are you, Léonard?!
- Hello, madame Landry. Can I
- Blow me. Léonard!
Can I help you?
- [Ruth] Let me talk to your dad, numbnuts.
- Léonard is not available right now, Ruth,
- but as Chief Manager of the AEQ
- Oh, shut up,
I'm not talking to a fucking secretary.
- Léonard, I know you can hear me!
- I'm not his secretary, all right?
I'm the Chief Manager of the Association.
Listen, I don't wanna explain
the ways of the world to you,
but there's an important old man
in an office.
And you're at a desk outside it,
answering the phone,
stopping people from walking by.
That makes you a fucking secretary!
No, I'm not a fucking secretary.
I'm an unlicensed operator?!
Goddamn it!
- Ruth! How nice of you to
- Oh, shut up, Léonard!
Some ditz in a scarf just yanked our taps!
- Did she say what it was about?
- That I'm not licensed
to work my own farm
that I've been working for decades!
The red tape in Quebec
can be maddening, I know.
But the thing is
Martin is the registered operator,
and as far as I know, he
he's not operating.
He's in a coma!
- What do you want me to do?
- Re-file the paperwork
and put your name on it.
I'm sure you're gonna be
back up and running by next season.
Next season? You fix this now. Huh!
- Sign a piece of paper.
- If I start playing favourites with you,
how would that look to the other
hardworking farmers out there?
It wouldn't be fair.
And I know how much you want
everything to be fair.
If I don't get every drop
out of my trees, I'll go broke!
And Martin'll go back
to the hospital where he'll die!
And then I'll die.
And everyone will be dead, Léonard!
- Is that what you want?
- Of course not.
[stuttering]
It's just my hands are tied.
But I'm delighted to hear
that it's just a matter of money. Huh?
I'd be more than happy
to buy your farm, Ruth.
- You slow-selling piece of shit.
- Huh?
You've had a hard-on
for our land for years.
I'm simply trying to help a friend
$300,000 for your farm, Ruth.
Act now, and your problems are over.
[paper crumpling]
Fuck you, Léonard.
[Léonard clears his throat]
Fuck you!
Alright
And your idiot kid!
Okay. This way, please.
[sighing]
[car starting]
[Rémy] Eh, boy.
[whirring]
[gong resonating on recording]
[man, on CD]
Welcome to your guiding white light.
Let out your inner shine.
I'll be your guide
on this transformative journey.
My approach combines the teachings
of ancient meditation.
[gong resonating]
Chapter two,
making the lotus position your friend,
in order to physically manifest
your full potential, close your eyes,
cross your legs,
rest your hands on your knees
and let your inner voice resurface.
Relax and dim the mind to full frequency.
Meditate on seizing the moment.
Repeat with me: I am enough.
I will seize my opportunities.
I will go for the gold.
- [car lock beeps]
- [grunts]
[Ruth] Fucking Léonard.
Where's the sap?
Where are you, motherfucker?
Okay!
Alright, here we go.
Let's make some money.
Ah, there it is.
[honking in the distance]
[car approaching]
Mike day.
[car door closing]
Have you seen Léo?
We had a meeting scheduled.
I'm not a secretary, Rémy.
[clears throat]
[heart monitor beeping]
There he is.
Martin, it's Mike.
Mike's here.
- [Ruth clears her throat]
- Hey, big guy!
[Mike] Looking good, Martin.
We got some treats for you today.
Look at this, news of the Celtics.
Hang on. Just put my eyes on.
What have we got? We got Rondo,
Rondo had 30 last night, Martin.
And people say he can't shoot. Huh!
[Ruth] We've been
in real shit up here, Mike.
So, could you loan us some cash?
- Not much, just a little to get by.
- I would if I could, believe me,
but I've got obligations too.
I've got affairs with, frankly,
much scarier people than you.
Huh, so
In all your affairs, how much
do you know about barrel rolling?
Sneaking people's syrup
over to New Brunswick.
- You're being coy now? Is that it?
- Just take a couple of my barrels.
Mike, they won't let me sell.
We could really use that extra money.
If it was up to me,
you know I'd do it in a heartbeat.
You know what this guy
means to me. I owe him.
He's like a big brother.
But I promised him, Ruth.
Yeah, well, that was before.
He didn't know
he was gonna fall in a fucking coma.
I got bills, Mike. Please.
Circumstances change.
I don't go back on my promises, Ruth.
I'm sorry.
This isn't fucking heroin, Mike.
Which I don't imagine
- would be a problem for you.
- He said, "No matter what happens, Mike,
I ask, Ruth asks, promise me
you'll never mix us up in your business.
I know everyone else does,
but we don't smuggle.
Our farm is good.
Our farm is pure."
He doesn't talk like that, Mike.
He's a nice guy, he's not Jesus Christ.
[indistinct chatter]
[man speaking French]
[man] We have to move
all the B on this wall
I'm going to load this wall-to-wall
with Grade A, understood?
We had a meeting in your office
ten minutes ago.
- And, uh, don't you work nights?
- Yeah.
I'm here bright and early to give you
my presentation, as we agreed.
Could you give us a minute, please?
For fuck's sake, Rémy!
- Not in front of their staff!
- I am staff!
I thought we had an appointment.
And you're in here, dicking around.
I am working, okay? And I'm talking to you
- as the Chief Manager of the Association.
- I wish you'd talk to me
- as your oldest friend.
- If I was talking to you as a friend,
I would tell you to stop telling
the Chief Manager
- he's dicking around, man.
- Sorry. Hmm?
Pe-noww!
[chuckling]
- I need more men.
- No! No, you don't need more men!
- It's almost Harvest Day.
- I'm guarding, what?
- 150 million dollars in maple syrup.
- Yeah.
- And I'm the only guy guarding it?
- Yup!
Give me a squad. Three men.
Okay, look, I've drawn up routes,
schedules
Uh, Rémy, Rémy,
we have a great system.
[Rémy] I'm talking about real security!
Men, patrolling
- Dad doesn't think it's a good idea.
- Your dad isn't chief manager anymore.
- Isn't that what you keep saying?
- Yeah. But it's more comp
I've been looking all over for you,
trying to get inspectors
to check out the Visitor's Center,
and you're here,
- chewin' the fat with dumb-dumb?
- No, we're not chewing the fat, Dad
No, we were discussing
about the serious security.
In fact, Léonard, your input on this
would be very appreciated.
Hit the road, meatloaf.
Huh? We've got real business here.
- You heard him?
- Yeah.
[soft music playing]
Why I ever let you hire a loser
like this guy is beyond me.
[Léo] I-I-I'm sorry.
[Léonard] I won't let you hire
every friend you made at the Cégep! Okay?
- [Léo] Yeah. I'm sorry, Dad.
- [Léonard] We're a business here!
[Hugues Aufray: "Knock Knock,
Ouvre-Toi, Porte d'Or"]
[phone ringing]
Fuck Charlie.
- No, no
- [phone continues ringing]
Fuck.
Hang on.
[squeaking]
[grunts]
[grunts]
[groans]
[Ruth] I can't do this without you.
Please wake up, Martin, please.
Knock knock
knocking on Heaven's door ♪
[Rémy] Orval, come on.
- You're late.
- I said I'd be here after the game.
It's after the game. I'm on time.
I wish you'd take this seriously.
I'm just not comfortable when
Yeah, yeah. Just grab the barrel,
so I can get out of here, okay?
Hey.
Got your cash from last month.
Thanks.
[grunts]
Knock knock
knocking on Heaven's door ♪
[breathing heavily]
[Srihali's voice] I will go for the gold.
[Orval] You okay?
You know
I've been thinking.
How about we up the ante?
This is kids' stuff.
Maybe it's time we do
two a month, or three.
- You know, really make our mark.
- This thing only works
- because we're doing one barrel a month.
- I thought you needed money.
- That's only worth two grand.
- You know how much
not being in jail's worth?
A whole friggin shit load.
Trust me, Rémy, buddy,
you're not jail material.
Right now, it's high-risk, low reward.
- Wanna go for the gold?
- Jesus Christ
Come on, man. At the end of the week,
we lock this place down after Harvest Day.
- It'll be months before we can steal
- [phone ringing]
Your phone's on?
Can't figure out how to turn
the fucking thing off.
For fuck's sake!
I told you they can track phones!
Why not just paint a sign on your truck
that says, "I'm robbing the Association."
- [phone ringing stops]
- Hey Look
We're not upping this arrangement, okay?
Rémy, this is a good thing
because it's a small thing.
- You understand? Hmm?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [train whistle blowing]
- [birds chirping]
[squeaking]
[Rémy's dad] Hey, hey!
How are you doing, my little guy?
Fine.
You gotta be better than fine.
Sure, pa, way better
Are you kidding me?
40 is a big year.
And me, I think it's gonna be your year.
Yeah. Might be.
[Dad] What, with your presentation and
following your light.
[heart monitor beeping]
[sighing]
[clears throat]
[phone ringing]
- What?
- Okay, fine, you can have my land.
[Léonard] Oh, Ruth
[Léonard chuckles]
How nice to hear from you.
And I'm thrilled to hear
you've come to your senses.
Uh, but, but, uh
I'm afraid I have to reduce my offer.
You said $300,000.
[Léonard] I did, before, but uh
Things change. Huh?
Always changing. Am I right?
So now, I'm afraid
all I can give you is $200,000.
- If Martin were well, he would
- [Léonard] But he's not, is he?
The way I see it,
I'm getting your trees either way.
So ball's in your court, Ruth.
[soft music playing]
[chainsaw whirring]
[suspenseful music playing]
[chainsaw whirring]
[tree cracking]
Timber!
I'll have chicken teriyaki
and red wine, please.
[waitress] Any preference
on the wine, sir?
Second cheapest one.
Here.
[laughing]
Happy birthday, my boy.
Thanks, Dad.
Wow!
[chuckling]
Oh yeah! Ha-ha!
Mittens!
Yeah, it's uh, Mister Cinnamon
from last season.
Yeah, I recognize.
Soft, eh?
- I stitched 'em myself.
- [chuckling]
[indistinct chatter]
[Heart: "These Dreams"]
These dreams go on
when I close my eyes ♪
Every second of the night,
I live another life ♪
These dreams that sleep
when it's cold outside ♪
Every moment I'm awake,
the further I'm away ♪
There's something out there
I can't resist ♪
I need to ♪
[grunts]
[sighing]
Om
- Om
- [door opening]
[Mike sings]
[grunts]
[Mike] Okay.
[humming]
Hey, Bo, it's me. Checking in.
[urinating]
Yes, Bo. Everything is fine here. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mr. Devaney is gonna be very happy.
No. No. No, no.
No problems at all with border police.
Money well spent.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, tell Mr. Devaney
I'll be back in Boston tomorrow.
Yep.
Okay. Alright.
Yeah.
- Talk then. Bye.
- [closing zipper]
Asshole.
- [urinal flushing]
- [water running]
[Mike singing]
- [tearing paper towel]
- [paper towel rustling]
[Mike continues singing]
[upbeat jazz music playing]
[Rémy] My name is Rémy Bouchard,
and I know of 150 million dollars
sitting, unguarded,
about five minutes from here.
Honey, go pick your lobster
out of the tank.
[Ruth] Woo!
Wake the fuck up, everyone!
[honking]
[shouting indistinctly]
Yeah!
I've been sneaking out
barrels of maple syrup,
one a month for three months,
and no one's noticed.
There are no cameras.
And the only security guard there is me.
Everybody, wake up!
[honking]
I'm coming for you, Léonard!
[Rémy] So, what I am thinking is,
me and my partner take 65 percent
and you take the remaining 45.
35. It's, it's 35.
No-no-no, it's okay, it's okay, I insist.
For overhead and incidentals.
And helping us sell.
You can help us moving
a million, can't you?
[honking]
[shouting]
Woo-hoo!
Woo!
My family doesn't do
a lot of work up here.
So, I gotta ask you,
if you don't mind
No, no, no, go.
How did you know to come to me?
Your suit, the lady
The way you walk the room.
Also, I heard you in the can, so
Yeah.
[laughing]
Yeah.
- [Ruth shouting]
- [honking]
[honking]
[Mike] I'm impressed.
Hooray for you.
Ah! Thank you!
[chuckling]
We'll be in touch, Rémy.
Because what you brought me
here today
It's a great opportunity.
Oh.
Thank you.
- [Mike] All right, Rémy, that's it.
- Okay!
- [Mike] We'll be in touch.
- Yeah! Yeah! Okay, uh Enjoy!
Thanks, Rémy.
Oh, one more thing,
you said you had an associate,
what'd you say his name was again?
Orval, Orval Steeks.
- Uh, good guy.
- [Mike] Oh I'm sure.
- [Rémy] Okay, thank you!
- Okay, thank you!
[chuckling]
[upbeat jazz music playing]
[honking]
[tires screeching]
[Ruth] You want my trees, Léonard?
You can have them!
Every last fucking one of them!
Fuck you, Léonard!
Enjoy the syrup, dickhead!
Woo-hoo!
- [continues shouting]
- [honking]
[indistinct chatter]
[soft music playing]
[phone ringing]
Hello?
[Mike] Hey, it's me.
I need your brains,
I got this new opportunity.
What kind of opportunity?
[Mike] A way to help you and Martin.
Yeah, what happened
to the promise you made?
Never let me sell you our syrup?
Thing is, it wouldn't be your syrup.
I'll call you back.
[soft music playing]
[knocking on door]
- [Orval] Yeah?
- Are you Orval Steeks?
[rattling]
[ringtone playing "La Cucaracha"]