The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s01e07 Episode Script

Footloser

No b-ball today.
Game has been canceled on account of this is a hotel.
Now listen up.
GO DANCE USA IS COMING TO THE TIPTON for its local broadcast, and it is my greatest wish that you do not scare them away with either your antics or Your odor.
We'll do our best not to stink, Mr.
moseby.
Splendid.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT GO DANCE USA IS COMING HERE.
I've wanted to go on that show since I was a kid.
Max, you have to enter that contest.
You're better than the girl in the missy elliott video.
I know.
This could be my big break.
[Sighs.]
But it's for couples.
Zack, do you want to be my partner? Hey, what about the guy who just said how good you are? Do you dance? I love to dance.
Too bad you're no good.
I'll be your partner.
I'd love to be on tv, and I've got the face for it.
I have the same face.
Yeah, but your face can't dance.
Boys, please.
We'll have a fair and impartial audition.
Zack, show me what you got.
Check it! You got served! Pfft! Yeah? Well, watch this.
Whoa! Uhh! Good luck in the dance contest, guys.
Here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me, we got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE A CELEBRITY FASHION JUDGE AT GO DANCE USA? [Gasps.]
Guess who doesn't care? It's me.
But I don't have any shoes yet.
Wanna go shopping with me and tell me which pair looks fabulous on me? As tempting as that sounds, I can't.
See, I'm working overtime to make money TO SEND MY PARENTS TO Paris FOR THEIR 25th ANNIVERSARY.
It's the honeymoon they never had.
So, you wanna go shopping or what? No.
All my brothers and sisters are chipping in, and if I don't come up with my share before the weekend, it's not going to happen.
Well, how much do you need? $250.
It's a lot of money.
It is? Yes For people who work for a living.
That's so sad.
People work all day to make that little? All week! So if I gave you the money, you'd go shopping with me? I can't let you give me that kind of money.
Why not? I got it right here.
Uh Well, uh Because I, uh I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back.
Oh, don't worry about that.
We can work that out.
I just need someone to tell me how fabulous I look in my new shoes.
I'm your gal.
Now I just have to get moseby to let me off.
I'm your gal.
Let's go.
After me.
Hey, guys.
Mom, I'm gonna be on tv! What did you set on fire? Nothing.
Max and I signed up for a dance competition.
OH, THE GO DANCE USA ONE? GOOD FOR YOU.
Yeah.
We're gonna go downstairs and practice for a couple minutes.
Oh, it's gonna be a lot more than a couple of minutes.
Dancing is work, agonizing, grueling work.
We're gonna practice until our feet bleed.
Ok.
Have fun.
Hey, buddy, why the long face? Zack's better at everything than me.
Basketball, skateboarding, guitar, dancing.
What am I good at? Making lists? You always get better grades than Zack.
Yeah, like that matters.
I mean, like, I wanna be good at something that people think is important.
And you will be.
You just gotta get out there and find it.
I don't think it's that easy.
No, it's not that easy, but if you're out there trying, it will find you.
You know how singing found me? I entered my high school talent show.
You know what my talent was? Singing? Nope.
Stand-up comedy.
But, mom, you're not funny.
Yeah.
So, anyway, I'm up there on stage and nobody's laughing, and I panicked, so I started to sing.
You know what happened? They started laughing? [Chuckles.]
No I won.
Wow.
Wow.
I get what you're saying.
I should do something I'm no good at and hope by accident I find something else.
That's one way of looking at it.
London, don't you think YOU COULD HELP ME WITH SOME OF YOUR PACKAGES? Sorry.
Manicure.
Still wet.
Didn't you just love hanging out at Natalie's amazing nails? I held your foot while you got a pedicure.
I know.
Wasn't it fun? Let's do it again tomorrow.
I'm busy.
You're too busy to hang out with someone who lent you money, someone who helped you realize your parent's dream? [Sighs.]
Ok.
So what are we doing tomorrow? Well, I'm busy, but you can pick up my dry cleaning.
Tootles.
Maddie, why do you let London treat you like a cheap, blonde pack mule? I borrowed some money from her and used it to buy the tickets for my parents trip to Paris.
Now I'm paying for it in blood, sweat, and tears.
You must be desperate.
Have you no more kidneys to sell? Sadly, no.
Hi, estaban.
Oh! It's a little man.
And he's carrying a little man.
I love your hair.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, no, I was talking to the littler man.
Oh.
I think I found my talent.
It's ventriloquism.
I got this guy cheap 'cause he scares little kids.
Hello, throckmorton.
Hello, Cody.
Tell me, throckmorton, do you know where cows go on dates? The mooooovies.
[Laughs.]
[Laughs.]
That was wonderful.
It is amazing how your lips and his move at the same time.
That's not supposed to happen.
Oh.
Well, in that case, you're no good.
I'm off.
[Sighs.]
I guess you're not my talent.
You think? Please.
No vaudeville in the lobby.
Just take him.
He's yours.
Oh, I What This belongs to a child.
[Laughs.]
I'm just holding it for him.
Yeah, and your hands are cold.
Oh, hush.
Ha ha.
Excuse me, madame.
Hey, toots! Call me! Ba da-da da ba da Uhh! Pick a card.
You may not have noticed, but I'm in the shower.
I finally think I found something I might be good at, but I really need your help.
Ok, honey.
So pick a card, any card.
Ok.
Was it the 3 of diamonds? Nope.
King of clubs.
It should have been the 3 of diamonds.
Where'd it go? Oops.
That's not supposed to happen.
[Piano playing.]
All right.
Test.
Test, one.
Test, two.
Oh! You're horrible.
You're gonna kill the show.
And aren't you a little old to be a dancer? Um, that's not a contestant.
That's the producer.
Kidding! Love the dress.
Why didn't you stop me? I didn't know you were going to say something stupid.
Ok, I did.
Is that any way to talk to a friend you owe money to? [Sighs.]
You're right.
I'm sorry.
Can I get you anything? Caramel mochaccino latte.
Oh, and Madeline, I'd also like a biscotti.
Be sure to scrape the chocolate off.
Thanks! Maddie.
Yeah? I can watch this no longer.
London is treating you like a dog.
Oh, I wish.
No, her dog's upstairs in the hot tub.
Which reminds me, I have to give her a massage.
I cannot believe she's making you give her shih tzu a shiatsu.
Yeah, well, until I give her $250 back, I'm scraping biscottis.
Yes, but you are better than that.
You must have self-respect.
You must have dignity.
And you must never, never kowtow to anyone.
Moseby: Esteban, I NEED YOU.
When I'm good and ready! Moseby: WHAT DID YOU SAY? Now I am good and ready! Come on, honey, the dance contest is about to start.
And you are about to be amazed.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
The disappearing milk trick.
And there's no milk in the cone.
That's because it's in my shoes.
Yes, it's the old "milk appearing in the shoes" trick.
[Music playing.]
[Music stops, applause.]
The votes are in.
Our finalists are Dick and Perry, bud and Lou, Charlie and Lynette, jan and Dean, and Max and Zack.
Whoo! See ya on Saturday! Yes! We made it to the finals.
Congratulations.
Zack, you rocked.
Yeah.
Have a flower.
Or a cane.
Oh, and another thing, London said we need new wardrobe.
Something more fabulous, something more ta-da-ish.
Great.
Let's start with some ice cream.
No.
No ice cream for you.
You'll get fat.
You're in training.
Then I'll skateboard over to get the ice cream.
No, no, no.
We have a shot at this title.
That means no skateboarding, no roller-blading, no basketball.
You could get hurt.
Practice! And lay off the fries.
I see who wears the pants on this team.
She can't tell me what to do.
If I want to skateboard, I'll skateboard.
If I want to jump on the bed, I'll jump on the bed.
Oh! Look! I'm jumping on the bed! I'm gonna hurt myself! I'm gonna hurt my--whoa! [Crash.]
I hurt myself.
Cody, don't tell Max I hurt my ankle.
You're gonna have to tell her sometime.
No.
She'll beat my insides out, and I like my insides in.
Well, she kinda might figure it out when she's dancing alone.
But she won't be dancing alone.
What are you talking about? There are no substitutions.
You'll be disqualified.
Not if the substitute looks exactly like the original.
But--but I can't dance.
I can't do anything.
That's not true.
You're my brother.
You have my DNA.
You have my face, my arms, my legs, my shirt Which, by the way, I want back.
You can do anything I can do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can.
And better.
Let's not get carried away.
Just be good enough to win the contest.
I'll do it.
See, Cody? You finally found your talent.
It's looking like me.
Yeah-- hey, Max.
Hey, Cody.
Where Zack? I'm Zack.
Hey, sweet thang! He hurt himself, didn't he? Yep.
What am I gonna do about the contest now? Well, I'm gonna take his place and dance with you.
Not gonna happen.
Oh, come on.
Gimme a chance.
I'll work really hard.
Zack talked me through the dance steps, and check out this really great move I've been working on.
Yeah! You like that? I--I call it trip-hop.
I call it last place.
Being a judge on tv is so stressful.
I know, London.
Let me wring-- rub your neck.
What is going on with them? Well, I do not think I should speak about maddie's personal business with her employer, sir.
Well, don't tell me Tell the dummy.
Can you keep a secret? My lips are sealed.
Good.
[Whispering.]
Hey, the dance contest is about to start.
Don't you want to watch? No! Just looking at dancing makes my foot throb.
Ok.
Well, then close your eyes, 'cause I wanna watch.
Ow! Hey Show announcer: OUR NEXT Boston DUO wowed everyone with their hip-hop dance number.
Uh, could--could you leave the room and get me a glass of water? My ankle's making me thirsty.
It's an odd way to phrase it, but ok.
Show announcer: COMING UP ON OUR NEXT SEGMENT, Max and Zack.
Who and who? Uh, wax and fax.
Funny, it sure looks like you and Max.
How can you be here and there at the same time? Cody got really good at his magic act? We did it to help our friend.
Well, if you really wanted to help your friend, you wouldn't have been jumping on the bed.
Having your twin brother replace you is cheating.
Well, why are you lecturing me? Cody's the one down there doing it.
Not for long.
Wait.
Wait.
Ow--wait--ow--wait--ow [Irish music playing.]
Remember, all you have to do is smile, look pretty, and let me do the dancing.
But--but can I do my move? You said yourself I was getting as good as Zack.
I lied.
But my move is really coming along.
You make one move I didn't show you, it'll be the last move you ever make.
Agreed.
Break a leg, partner.
[Applause.]
NOW LET'S GIVE A BIG GO DANCE USA WELCOME TO Max AND Zack.
[Applause.]
[Music playing.]
That's not supposed to happen.
[Applause.]
What's going on? I forgot to unrig my jacket.
He's quite good.
Who knew? [Applause.]
[Applause.]
Keep it up.
It's working.
I feel the music in me! Step off, mama! Daddy's gonna dance! No! Uh [Crash.]
Cody, are you ok? Cody? I thought his name was Zack.
No, that's Zack.
We're toast.
You're not toast.
You're disqualified! But your costumes get a 10.
Mom, don't be mad.
I'm not mad, I'm-- furious! I told you not to do the move.
And what do you do? You did the move! That dented trophy should have been ours.
Max is right.
And you, young man-- I don't even know where to start.
Yes, I do.
I told you not to do anything stupid.
And what do you do? Something stupid.
You're worse than Harry stupid-ini here.
See? He's even better than me at being worse.
You know what your problem is? Honey, honey can I take it from here? Good luck.
Maybe they'll listen to you.
Ok, listen, guys, Max pretty much covered the whole yelling at you part, but there's something else going on here.
I know.
Have you seen the way London treats maddie? Yes, but that's not what we're talking about.
You need to stop comparing yourself to your brother.
You look the same on the outside, but you're different on the inside.
It's likePies.
One could be apple, and one could be cherry.
Could I have ice cream on me? Go soak your ankle.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Honey Do you realize that if you hadn't tried to outshine Zack with that move, you might have won? And then gotten disqualified.
Yeah, I was a good dancer, wasn't I? But a better magician And that's what won them over-- the thing that you can do that Zack can't.
Although if I did get one of those jackets-- soak! Upstairs! Oh, Madeline, be a dear and fetch me another soda.
Right away, London.
Maddie-- can't talk.
London's thirsty.
On behalf of the entire staff, we have raised this money so you can pay back London and look your mirror in the face.
That is so sweet, but I can't take this-- soda, please! Without saying thank you.
And Mr.
moseby Yes? Did you have anything to do with this? Actually, I don't get involved in my employee's personal lives.
Ahem.
I saw him throw in a hundred bucks.
Big mouth.
Well, then give him this for me.
Madeline.
Still thirsty.
Here you go.
Oh, I have money.
I want a soda.
No, this is the money I owe you.
And now I'm free! I'm free! I'm free at last! But we were having so much fun.
You were having fun.
I was watching you have fun.
But what could be more fun? A root canal you don't need? I thought we were friends.
I loaned you money.
London, money can't buy you friends.
You make friends by being nice to people.
But that seems harder.
No, no, no, no.
It's really easy to say nice things to people.
Watch.
London, you are Uh Yes? This is hard.
Oh, wait.
Got one.
Deep down, I suspect you're a good person.
You're supposed to say something nice back.
I said thank you.
You're welcome.

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