The Suite Life of Zack & Cody s03e01 Episode Script
Graduation
Maddie, you know what I like about summer vacation? Not being locked up in a stuffy school till noon every day.
London, some of us actually come back to school after lunch.
[Scoffs.]
And I suppose you go on Fridays, too.
Ha ha ha! Yeah.
Silly me.
Anyway, I'm spending the summer on my yacht.
What are you doing? Working here.
Oh, yeah.
And when I get home, I get to help mom gut fish and apply pimple cream to my dad's hairy back.
Ooh.
I just had a baby barf.
Yeah.
Woo-hoo! London! So, what are we girls talking about? Fish guts and hairy pimples.
Ooh.
I just had a baby barf.
Well, now, I've come here to talk to you about a camp counselor job for the summer.
Ooh, I have a summer job Doing nothing.
Hee.
Ah.
Well I guess I'm stuck with you, maddie.
Just take a look at this.
"Camp heaven on earth"? Oh, my-- goodness! Ha ha! It's beautiful.
Is that a waterfall? Yes.
It flows into a sparkling lake.
Oh! I've never been to camp.
And now I'm gonna get paid to go.
[Popping noise.]
Wait.
But I'm needed here at the tipton.
We'll muddle through.
Ha! Then I'm going to camp heaven on earth.
High-five! Whoo! Oh! Disney--abc cable networks group here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me, we got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life Ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class It is my honor to announce this year's valedictorian.
Ok, who took the envelope? Anybody? Oh, Cody, I just know it's going to be you.
No, Barbara.
You deserve it.
You're a-plus in every subject, including dimples.
[Giggles.]
Aww There they are.
Let's just agree on one thing, my little cotangent Whoever gets picked, the winner kisses the loser.
Uh, ok.
But it's going to be you.
No, it's going to be you! Ok, I found it.
Uh, and this year's valedictorian is Cody Martin! Yes, I knew it! [Stomps.]
Ow! [Panting.]
Ow! Ah, young love.
Uh, Zack, we-- we have a little problem.
You seem to have failed English.
Wait, what? You won't be graduating with your class.
No, no, no, no, no! I need to graduate with my class.
I--if I don't graduate, I'll have to go to su-- su-- suu-- mer school? Yeah, that's it.
Sister Dominick: Wait till you see your cabin! Ooh, I must get this fixed.
Unh! Oh, dear! Ahh! Oh! And that.
Wow.
This doesn't look anything like the brochure you showed me.
Well, that picture was taken in 1929, before the locust blight.
You might have mentioned that.
And yet, to those inner-city girls, it is a magnificent arcadian retreat.
We're across the street from a slaughterhouse.
At least the meat is fresh.
Now, let me introduce you to your eager young charges.
Come on in, ladies.
Maddie: Ohh Aren't you just the cutest little things? Aah! [Gasping.]
Oh, you must be my co-counselor.
Oh, no, no! Ha.
That's leah.
She's 12.
WellShe can do whatever she wants.
This is Amy, and Jasmine, and-- oh.
Where's holly? Holly! Coming, sister Dominick.
I was picking some daffodils.
Hey! I know you.
You're that little girl from the tipton who conned me out of my watch.
I won it fair and square.
But if you're in the market for a new one, this one's real gold.
Buck-fifty.
[Gasps.]
Sister Dominick! What? Come here.
Hurry, hurry.
I don't know if you're aware of this, but that little girl's a criminal! We don't like to use the word "criminal" here.
They're just girls who've had a little bad luck.
Deep down inside, they're sweet and innocent.
[Yelling.]
All right, girls! Assume the position.
[Metal detector beeping.]
They're clean! Oh, lunch is at noon.
We're having ham.
All right, girls.
Just so you know, I am not here to judge you.
In fact, I brought each of you a little gift.
All right, which one of you little crooks stole my backpack? Don't look at me.
Amy's the thief.
Am not! I have never stolen anything in my life.
Is that the ham we're supposed to have for lunch? No.
It's my cuddly toy, Mr.
hammy.
It was given to me by my ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake.
She's also a compulsive liar.
At least I don't have anger issues.
Ha ha ha! I do not have anger issues.
Now take it back before I shove Mr.
hammy up your nose! Ok, ok! We are learning a lot about each other.
Is there something I should know about you? She doesn't talk.
So far, you're my favorite.
You know, mom's really going to be mad when she finds out you're not graduating.
Well, she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.
Whose life did you save? Here, choke on this.
Now, why don't you just tell her the truth, and promise to do well in summer school? You're right.
Honesty is the best policy.
Give me your water.
Mom's a sucker for a sob story.
Dead puppy Dead puppy Dead puppy.
Ok, let's do this.
Oh! Hey, guys! Hi, mom I'm baking a cake for your graduation party.
Is that it on the ceiling? That was the first try.
So how was your last day of school? I don't want to talk about it.
Honey You sad to be leaving middle school? Well Would you let me handle this? Sweetie, no matter how bad it is, you can tell me anything.
You know that, right? I know, mom.
Well The truth is, is-- [Door opens.]
Surprise! Dad! Dad? I thought you were in Hong Kong.
Oh, I was.
But I took some time off tour so I could be here for your graduation.
Hence, surprise! Hey, Kurt.
Hi, babe.
That's great, dad.
And you know, speaking of surprises, Zack? [Clears throat.]
Gee, dad, it's sure swell of you to come.
But, you know, we're only graduating from the eighth grade.
It's not worth leaving a tour where you're making millions of people happy with your unique brand of bluesy folk rock.
Are you kidding? I am certainly not going to miss seeing my two boys walk across that stage getting their diplomas.
Uh-huh.
So, Zack.
What were you upset about? Uh That dad wasn't gonna be here to see me graduate.
But it's all good now.
Mm.
A little too much plaster, but not bad.
For our next activity, I was thinking we could do something to make this cabin more attractive.
You're leaving? Ignoring, ignoring.
I was thinking maybe we could make some curtains.
Sounds great.
But first, we just wanted to give you a little gift.
It's just our little way of saying Welcome.
Thanks, you guys.
[Gasps.]
Oh, is it furry slippers? [Boing.]
Aah! Aah! Ahh! [Laughing.]
It's a rabid raccoon! It's clawing me! It's biting me! It's not real! [Squeaking.]
Not funny, girls.
I'm laughing.
Wow! You talked.
I also sing.
[Monotone.]
if you're happy and you know it clap your hands I said clap! So, moseby Which one do you like better? This island with this yacht and this bathing suit, or This island with this yacht and this bathing suit? Well, frankly, I don't give a hoot.
[Cell phone rings.]
Hello? Oh, hey, maddie.
How's camp? Terrible.
These girls are savages.
Come rescue me.
Don't worry.
I'll get the tipton helicopter and be there right away! I'm proud of you.
Really? Missing a massage to help a friend.
Ooh! I forgot about my shiatsu.
Oh, well.
Maddie can wait.
I'm no good to anyone if I'm tense.
Zack What are you doing here? This is only for people who are graduating.
Well, I figured if I show up, a plan would just hit me, bam! Wait a minute.
Wait a minute! Nah, I got nothin'.
Well, at least you're not trying to forge a diploma, sneak into graduation, and hide from mom the fact that you're going to summer school for 6 weeks.
Genius! I was being facetious.
Huh? Hard to believe you're failing English.
There's only one problem.
There's only enough caps and gowns for the students who are graduating.
Gee.
Why don't you steal someone else's? Mm-wah! Again with the genius plan.
No wonder they call you the vale-- vale-- vale-accordion.
Uh, Cody, I-- I'm sorry I got upset before.
After all, I creamed you in the math competition and you didn't get mad.
Well, I wouldn't say creamed.
But it doesn't matter, because I annihilated you in the spelling bee.
And by the way, that's "annihilated.
" With 2 ns and an "h".
Well, that spelling bee wasn't fair.
Your word was so easy my dog could've spelled it.
Ha! I doubt it.
I've met your dog, and he's an idiot.
[Stomps.]
Ow! I can't find my cap and gown.
Oh.
Uh, well, that's odd.
Let's see.
[Thud.]
[Thunder.]
[Knocking.]
Who's there? Me, London.
What took you so long? Did the storm slow you down? No.
I added an extra because your call really stressed me out.
[Helicopter hovering.]
I hate you.
I have the helicopter.
Love you, let's go.
I'm telling you, these girls are vicious monsters.
Girls: if you're happy and you know it clap your hands Hold me! Oh! Hi! I'm holly.
[Gasps.]
Hi! I'm London.
Nice diamond bracelet.
Wanna play some cards? Don't do it! In a half an hour, she'll own the hotel.
Now let's go.
Maddie, I can't believe these are the girls you're scared of.
Ok, maybe the big one.
Can we just go now? Where did you park the helicopter? It's in the middle of the field, over by the big tree.
[Thunder crashes.]
[Wood creaking.]
[Glass shatters.]
Make that crushed by the big tree.
Welcome to camp heaven on earth.
This is never going to work.
Forgess is going to see you.
No, he won't.
[Dialing phone.]
[Cell phone rings.]
Yello? [In low voice.]
Uh, Mr.
George forgess? Yes? This is officer lippincottelman.
Yeah, you see, we just found your car at the bottom of the Charles river.
Oh, no.
That's my mommy's car.
And she just got brand new No! [Pomp and circumstance plays.]
Well, they did it.
Zack did it.
Yeah, graduation picture before mug shot.
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
And so, as we matriculate, I feel a connection with you, my fellow students.
We must remember it is our honor-- nay.
Our duty to play hard, study hard, and keep our colons clean with a high-fiber diet.
Whoo! Yeah.
And lastly Ohh Oh.
Thank you.
Whoo! Whoo! That was a wonderful speech, Cody.
And now, our graduating class.
[Music begins.]
Aaron abner Mary Andrews Lenny Landry We're next.
What are you going to do? Don't worry.
I got it covered.
Cody Martin Whoo! Zack Martin! Coming! Whoo! Yahoo! Look, I'm really sorry.
I was aiming at Cody, and-- by the way, I love the new hairstyle.
Whoo! Whew.
Never getting out Never getting out Never getting out Look, relax.
The other helicopter is on its way from my beach house in Newport.
You have a beach house? I live in a one-bedroom apartment with 5 brothers and sisters.
AndWe share one toothbrush.
At least you have a toothbrush.
I use a finger.
And it's my grandmother's.
At least you have a grandmother.
I live with the neighbors while my dad's doing At least you have neighbors.
I live with wolves in a cave, and they never share their meat with me.
They just leave me with fur and the gristle.
Sister Dominick: Does anyone know why there's a flattened helicopter on the soccer field? Oh! That's mine.
Well, at least it was.
It was supposed to be taking me home.
I'm sorry, but I'm quitting.
Oh.
That's too bad.
Well, girls, I guess I'm gonna have to close this cabin down and you'll all have to go home.
What do you mean, go home? Well, I'm fresh out of counselors.
Sorry, girls.
Pack your bags.
And only with items that belong to you.
I was really enjoying ping-pong.
I was going to start a glee club.
I'm going to miss sleeping in my own bunk.
At least you have a bed at home.
All I have is the cold cave floor.
All: Oh, shut up! Ooh, ooh, ooh! The other helicopter's here.
Let's go, maddie.
Wait a minute.
Look at their little sad faces.
I know.
They're creeping me out.
Let's go.
I knew spending a whole summer out here was too good to last.
[Helicopter hovering.]
Ok, girls.
Here's the deal.
If I stay, do you promise to treat me with respect? And no more earthworms in my underwear.
I promise.
Ok.
Anybody I can believe? We promise.
Right, girls? Yeah, we promise.
We really do.
All right.
Then I'm staying.
I'm not.
Girls, I'm glad all the cruel pranks are over.
And we can begin fresh.
Starting now.
Ha ha.
Cody, I want to apologize.
Academic competition brings out my ugly side.
Oh, it's ok.
And besides, you don't have an ugly side.
[Giggles.]
Thanks.
Oh! You know, when we get to high school, I'm taking 5 a.
P.
Classes.
I'm taking 6.
[Stomps.]
[Clank.]
Ow! Ow! Ha! Steel-toed boots.
[Clinking glass.]
Excuse me.
I would like to make a little toast.
Mr.
moseby, that's so sweet of you.
Ah, please.
It's the kind of guy I am.
Boys.
Wow, thanks.
Whoa, cool! No, no.
Don't worry about it.
Ahem.
And now that you are heading off to high school, I'm sure that you realize that your wild days of shenanigans are behind you.
Cody, are you through with your shenanigans? Nope.
I think I'm going to shenan-again.
Ha ha ha! Just remember, you're that much closer to being tried as adults.
Ok, let me see if I can top that.
Boys, I know how hard you two worked.
And, um, in honor of that, I've got something to give each of you.
Cody, when I was on tour in China, I got you this.
It's a genuine ming dynasty abacus! Aba-whaa? An ancient calculator.
Ooh, cool.
Now you can count all the chicks who think you're a nerd.
And, Zack, this is for you.
Your favorite vintage guitar? Comes with an amplifier.
[Groans.]
I am so proud of you, son.
Uh, I don't know what to say.
You really earned this.
Oh, you sure did.
It wasn't easy for you.
I mean, you almost didn't pass English.
Uh, yeah.
That's ancient history.
Oh, but you did.
And we are so proud of you.
Stop saying that.
But we are proud of you.
Immensely proud.
This is the proudest moment of our lives.
Except I didn't graduate, ok? [Crowd gasps.]
There's a shock.
What are you talking about? I faked the whole thing.
Well, I don't-- I don't understand.
You have a diploma-- this is a picture of a girl wearing a bikini.
Oh, she's hot.
I mean it's hot At the beach.
That's why she's wearing a bikini.
Zack, why did you do this? Because you tried to bake a cake, and dad left his tour, and I didn't want to disappoint you guys again.
Don't sweat it, dude.
It's ok.
I mean, you are so in trouble.
Zack, I am disappointed that you didn't graduate.
But I'm even more disappointed that you pulled this stunt instead of just being honest with us.
I know, I know.
And I'm really, really sorry, but--but I promise you I will graduate.
I just have to pass su-- su-- su-- all: Mer school.
Yeah, that.
Well, at least while I'm doing time, I can practice my guitar.
Which you should give me after I graduate.
That's my boy.
So who wants some cake? Ooh! Oh It's store bought.
Ooh! Oh, I'd love some.
Ice cream on the side.
Heh heh heh.
Put it down.
London, some of us actually come back to school after lunch.
[Scoffs.]
And I suppose you go on Fridays, too.
Ha ha ha! Yeah.
Silly me.
Anyway, I'm spending the summer on my yacht.
What are you doing? Working here.
Oh, yeah.
And when I get home, I get to help mom gut fish and apply pimple cream to my dad's hairy back.
Ooh.
I just had a baby barf.
Yeah.
Woo-hoo! London! So, what are we girls talking about? Fish guts and hairy pimples.
Ooh.
I just had a baby barf.
Well, now, I've come here to talk to you about a camp counselor job for the summer.
Ooh, I have a summer job Doing nothing.
Hee.
Ah.
Well I guess I'm stuck with you, maddie.
Just take a look at this.
"Camp heaven on earth"? Oh, my-- goodness! Ha ha! It's beautiful.
Is that a waterfall? Yes.
It flows into a sparkling lake.
Oh! I've never been to camp.
And now I'm gonna get paid to go.
[Popping noise.]
Wait.
But I'm needed here at the tipton.
We'll muddle through.
Ha! Then I'm going to camp heaven on earth.
High-five! Whoo! Oh! Disney--abc cable networks group here I am in your life here you are in mine yes, we have a suite life most of the time you and me, we got the world to see so come on down just me and you know what to do so come on down it's you and me and me and you we got the whole place to ourselves you and me, we got it all for free so come on down this is the suite life we've got a suite life Ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class It is my honor to announce this year's valedictorian.
Ok, who took the envelope? Anybody? Oh, Cody, I just know it's going to be you.
No, Barbara.
You deserve it.
You're a-plus in every subject, including dimples.
[Giggles.]
Aww There they are.
Let's just agree on one thing, my little cotangent Whoever gets picked, the winner kisses the loser.
Uh, ok.
But it's going to be you.
No, it's going to be you! Ok, I found it.
Uh, and this year's valedictorian is Cody Martin! Yes, I knew it! [Stomps.]
Ow! [Panting.]
Ow! Ah, young love.
Uh, Zack, we-- we have a little problem.
You seem to have failed English.
Wait, what? You won't be graduating with your class.
No, no, no, no, no! I need to graduate with my class.
I--if I don't graduate, I'll have to go to su-- su-- suu-- mer school? Yeah, that's it.
Sister Dominick: Wait till you see your cabin! Ooh, I must get this fixed.
Unh! Oh, dear! Ahh! Oh! And that.
Wow.
This doesn't look anything like the brochure you showed me.
Well, that picture was taken in 1929, before the locust blight.
You might have mentioned that.
And yet, to those inner-city girls, it is a magnificent arcadian retreat.
We're across the street from a slaughterhouse.
At least the meat is fresh.
Now, let me introduce you to your eager young charges.
Come on in, ladies.
Maddie: Ohh Aren't you just the cutest little things? Aah! [Gasping.]
Oh, you must be my co-counselor.
Oh, no, no! Ha.
That's leah.
She's 12.
WellShe can do whatever she wants.
This is Amy, and Jasmine, and-- oh.
Where's holly? Holly! Coming, sister Dominick.
I was picking some daffodils.
Hey! I know you.
You're that little girl from the tipton who conned me out of my watch.
I won it fair and square.
But if you're in the market for a new one, this one's real gold.
Buck-fifty.
[Gasps.]
Sister Dominick! What? Come here.
Hurry, hurry.
I don't know if you're aware of this, but that little girl's a criminal! We don't like to use the word "criminal" here.
They're just girls who've had a little bad luck.
Deep down inside, they're sweet and innocent.
[Yelling.]
All right, girls! Assume the position.
[Metal detector beeping.]
They're clean! Oh, lunch is at noon.
We're having ham.
All right, girls.
Just so you know, I am not here to judge you.
In fact, I brought each of you a little gift.
All right, which one of you little crooks stole my backpack? Don't look at me.
Amy's the thief.
Am not! I have never stolen anything in my life.
Is that the ham we're supposed to have for lunch? No.
It's my cuddly toy, Mr.
hammy.
It was given to me by my ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake.
She's also a compulsive liar.
At least I don't have anger issues.
Ha ha ha! I do not have anger issues.
Now take it back before I shove Mr.
hammy up your nose! Ok, ok! We are learning a lot about each other.
Is there something I should know about you? She doesn't talk.
So far, you're my favorite.
You know, mom's really going to be mad when she finds out you're not graduating.
Well, she can't be too mad when she finds out I saved a life.
Whose life did you save? Here, choke on this.
Now, why don't you just tell her the truth, and promise to do well in summer school? You're right.
Honesty is the best policy.
Give me your water.
Mom's a sucker for a sob story.
Dead puppy Dead puppy Dead puppy.
Ok, let's do this.
Oh! Hey, guys! Hi, mom I'm baking a cake for your graduation party.
Is that it on the ceiling? That was the first try.
So how was your last day of school? I don't want to talk about it.
Honey You sad to be leaving middle school? Well Would you let me handle this? Sweetie, no matter how bad it is, you can tell me anything.
You know that, right? I know, mom.
Well The truth is, is-- [Door opens.]
Surprise! Dad! Dad? I thought you were in Hong Kong.
Oh, I was.
But I took some time off tour so I could be here for your graduation.
Hence, surprise! Hey, Kurt.
Hi, babe.
That's great, dad.
And you know, speaking of surprises, Zack? [Clears throat.]
Gee, dad, it's sure swell of you to come.
But, you know, we're only graduating from the eighth grade.
It's not worth leaving a tour where you're making millions of people happy with your unique brand of bluesy folk rock.
Are you kidding? I am certainly not going to miss seeing my two boys walk across that stage getting their diplomas.
Uh-huh.
So, Zack.
What were you upset about? Uh That dad wasn't gonna be here to see me graduate.
But it's all good now.
Mm.
A little too much plaster, but not bad.
For our next activity, I was thinking we could do something to make this cabin more attractive.
You're leaving? Ignoring, ignoring.
I was thinking maybe we could make some curtains.
Sounds great.
But first, we just wanted to give you a little gift.
It's just our little way of saying Welcome.
Thanks, you guys.
[Gasps.]
Oh, is it furry slippers? [Boing.]
Aah! Aah! Ahh! [Laughing.]
It's a rabid raccoon! It's clawing me! It's biting me! It's not real! [Squeaking.]
Not funny, girls.
I'm laughing.
Wow! You talked.
I also sing.
[Monotone.]
if you're happy and you know it clap your hands I said clap! So, moseby Which one do you like better? This island with this yacht and this bathing suit, or This island with this yacht and this bathing suit? Well, frankly, I don't give a hoot.
[Cell phone rings.]
Hello? Oh, hey, maddie.
How's camp? Terrible.
These girls are savages.
Come rescue me.
Don't worry.
I'll get the tipton helicopter and be there right away! I'm proud of you.
Really? Missing a massage to help a friend.
Ooh! I forgot about my shiatsu.
Oh, well.
Maddie can wait.
I'm no good to anyone if I'm tense.
Zack What are you doing here? This is only for people who are graduating.
Well, I figured if I show up, a plan would just hit me, bam! Wait a minute.
Wait a minute! Nah, I got nothin'.
Well, at least you're not trying to forge a diploma, sneak into graduation, and hide from mom the fact that you're going to summer school for 6 weeks.
Genius! I was being facetious.
Huh? Hard to believe you're failing English.
There's only one problem.
There's only enough caps and gowns for the students who are graduating.
Gee.
Why don't you steal someone else's? Mm-wah! Again with the genius plan.
No wonder they call you the vale-- vale-- vale-accordion.
Uh, Cody, I-- I'm sorry I got upset before.
After all, I creamed you in the math competition and you didn't get mad.
Well, I wouldn't say creamed.
But it doesn't matter, because I annihilated you in the spelling bee.
And by the way, that's "annihilated.
" With 2 ns and an "h".
Well, that spelling bee wasn't fair.
Your word was so easy my dog could've spelled it.
Ha! I doubt it.
I've met your dog, and he's an idiot.
[Stomps.]
Ow! I can't find my cap and gown.
Oh.
Uh, well, that's odd.
Let's see.
[Thud.]
[Thunder.]
[Knocking.]
Who's there? Me, London.
What took you so long? Did the storm slow you down? No.
I added an extra because your call really stressed me out.
[Helicopter hovering.]
I hate you.
I have the helicopter.
Love you, let's go.
I'm telling you, these girls are vicious monsters.
Girls: if you're happy and you know it clap your hands Hold me! Oh! Hi! I'm holly.
[Gasps.]
Hi! I'm London.
Nice diamond bracelet.
Wanna play some cards? Don't do it! In a half an hour, she'll own the hotel.
Now let's go.
Maddie, I can't believe these are the girls you're scared of.
Ok, maybe the big one.
Can we just go now? Where did you park the helicopter? It's in the middle of the field, over by the big tree.
[Thunder crashes.]
[Wood creaking.]
[Glass shatters.]
Make that crushed by the big tree.
Welcome to camp heaven on earth.
This is never going to work.
Forgess is going to see you.
No, he won't.
[Dialing phone.]
[Cell phone rings.]
Yello? [In low voice.]
Uh, Mr.
George forgess? Yes? This is officer lippincottelman.
Yeah, you see, we just found your car at the bottom of the Charles river.
Oh, no.
That's my mommy's car.
And she just got brand new No! [Pomp and circumstance plays.]
Well, they did it.
Zack did it.
Yeah, graduation picture before mug shot.
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
And so, as we matriculate, I feel a connection with you, my fellow students.
We must remember it is our honor-- nay.
Our duty to play hard, study hard, and keep our colons clean with a high-fiber diet.
Whoo! Yeah.
And lastly Ohh Oh.
Thank you.
Whoo! Whoo! That was a wonderful speech, Cody.
And now, our graduating class.
[Music begins.]
Aaron abner Mary Andrews Lenny Landry We're next.
What are you going to do? Don't worry.
I got it covered.
Cody Martin Whoo! Zack Martin! Coming! Whoo! Yahoo! Look, I'm really sorry.
I was aiming at Cody, and-- by the way, I love the new hairstyle.
Whoo! Whew.
Never getting out Never getting out Never getting out Look, relax.
The other helicopter is on its way from my beach house in Newport.
You have a beach house? I live in a one-bedroom apartment with 5 brothers and sisters.
AndWe share one toothbrush.
At least you have a toothbrush.
I use a finger.
And it's my grandmother's.
At least you have a grandmother.
I live with the neighbors while my dad's doing At least you have neighbors.
I live with wolves in a cave, and they never share their meat with me.
They just leave me with fur and the gristle.
Sister Dominick: Does anyone know why there's a flattened helicopter on the soccer field? Oh! That's mine.
Well, at least it was.
It was supposed to be taking me home.
I'm sorry, but I'm quitting.
Oh.
That's too bad.
Well, girls, I guess I'm gonna have to close this cabin down and you'll all have to go home.
What do you mean, go home? Well, I'm fresh out of counselors.
Sorry, girls.
Pack your bags.
And only with items that belong to you.
I was really enjoying ping-pong.
I was going to start a glee club.
I'm going to miss sleeping in my own bunk.
At least you have a bed at home.
All I have is the cold cave floor.
All: Oh, shut up! Ooh, ooh, ooh! The other helicopter's here.
Let's go, maddie.
Wait a minute.
Look at their little sad faces.
I know.
They're creeping me out.
Let's go.
I knew spending a whole summer out here was too good to last.
[Helicopter hovering.]
Ok, girls.
Here's the deal.
If I stay, do you promise to treat me with respect? And no more earthworms in my underwear.
I promise.
Ok.
Anybody I can believe? We promise.
Right, girls? Yeah, we promise.
We really do.
All right.
Then I'm staying.
I'm not.
Girls, I'm glad all the cruel pranks are over.
And we can begin fresh.
Starting now.
Ha ha.
Cody, I want to apologize.
Academic competition brings out my ugly side.
Oh, it's ok.
And besides, you don't have an ugly side.
[Giggles.]
Thanks.
Oh! You know, when we get to high school, I'm taking 5 a.
P.
Classes.
I'm taking 6.
[Stomps.]
[Clank.]
Ow! Ow! Ha! Steel-toed boots.
[Clinking glass.]
Excuse me.
I would like to make a little toast.
Mr.
moseby, that's so sweet of you.
Ah, please.
It's the kind of guy I am.
Boys.
Wow, thanks.
Whoa, cool! No, no.
Don't worry about it.
Ahem.
And now that you are heading off to high school, I'm sure that you realize that your wild days of shenanigans are behind you.
Cody, are you through with your shenanigans? Nope.
I think I'm going to shenan-again.
Ha ha ha! Just remember, you're that much closer to being tried as adults.
Ok, let me see if I can top that.
Boys, I know how hard you two worked.
And, um, in honor of that, I've got something to give each of you.
Cody, when I was on tour in China, I got you this.
It's a genuine ming dynasty abacus! Aba-whaa? An ancient calculator.
Ooh, cool.
Now you can count all the chicks who think you're a nerd.
And, Zack, this is for you.
Your favorite vintage guitar? Comes with an amplifier.
[Groans.]
I am so proud of you, son.
Uh, I don't know what to say.
You really earned this.
Oh, you sure did.
It wasn't easy for you.
I mean, you almost didn't pass English.
Uh, yeah.
That's ancient history.
Oh, but you did.
And we are so proud of you.
Stop saying that.
But we are proud of you.
Immensely proud.
This is the proudest moment of our lives.
Except I didn't graduate, ok? [Crowd gasps.]
There's a shock.
What are you talking about? I faked the whole thing.
Well, I don't-- I don't understand.
You have a diploma-- this is a picture of a girl wearing a bikini.
Oh, she's hot.
I mean it's hot At the beach.
That's why she's wearing a bikini.
Zack, why did you do this? Because you tried to bake a cake, and dad left his tour, and I didn't want to disappoint you guys again.
Don't sweat it, dude.
It's ok.
I mean, you are so in trouble.
Zack, I am disappointed that you didn't graduate.
But I'm even more disappointed that you pulled this stunt instead of just being honest with us.
I know, I know.
And I'm really, really sorry, but--but I promise you I will graduate.
I just have to pass su-- su-- su-- all: Mer school.
Yeah, that.
Well, at least while I'm doing time, I can practice my guitar.
Which you should give me after I graduate.
That's my boy.
So who wants some cake? Ooh! Oh It's store bought.
Ooh! Oh, I'd love some.
Ice cream on the side.
Heh heh heh.
Put it down.