The Ultimatum: Queer Love (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

The Break Up

I am ready to spend the rest
of my life with somebody, 130%.
- We went to therapy.
- Therapist gave up on us.
She fired you.
Let's play house, as lesbians do.
Don't go into that small
suitcase 'cause that has my dildo.
If anybody's gonna fuck this shit
up, I feel like it's the two of us.
I thought you were stopping at "fuck."
I felt I've loved her
before I even knew her.
I was so not expecting it.
We're all learning
things about ourselves
and our relationships and what we want.
- And don't want.
- Yeah, and don't want.
You wanted to marry me, but you
fell in love with someone else.
You guys slept together.
She led my hand to her vagina.
You want to see us fight for you
so you can see, "Who
died for me? Who didn't?"
If you think you're gonna
get married after this,
you have your heads in the sand.
I've been wanting a
connection with my ex.
I just don't understand
how it has taken this long.
I'm fucking done with this shit!
This is not what I want in a marriage.
There's three outcomes here.
Marrying the person we came with,
marrying someone else,
or breaking up for good.
I'd love to start living our happy life,
but I also know I need to be chosen.
I don't want this shit.
I want to be married.
It's not the roses and
the walking down the aisle,
as much as I love to dress up.
My dream is a
once-in-a-lifetime commitment.
I want to get married, bring children
into the world with this person.
I'm ready, but she's not.
You just want somebody to be
like, "It's you. You're it for me."
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to be married.
That's why I'm issuing an ultimatum.
I gave an ultimatum.
I am issuing my partner an ultimatum.
We either get engaged or we're done.
I'm ready to find love
in the most beautiful way.
I want to find somebody that I can
be with for the rest of my life.
Hello, everyone.
Oh my God.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I am JoAnna Garcia Swisher.
Is it correct, you're not queer?
I am not.
- We're happy you're here.
- Yes!
- Unbelievably gorgeous.
- You are so beautiful!
Thank you. Goodness.
- You're literally glowing under this tree.
- Thank you.
- So sweet.
- Looking good.
I'm looking forward to
getting to know all of you.
But tonight you're all here
because someone in your
relationship has issued an ultimatum.
One person is ready to
get married right now,
and the other isn't quite ready yet.
By show of hands,
who in the relationship
issued the ultimatum?
Okay. All right. Okay.
Let's get into it. Let's
get to know each other.
- Want to start here, Xander?
- Of course.
Vanessa and I have a
a great life together.
It has so much fun involved,
and I love that. I love that.
I'm like, honestly Every
day I'm like, "Thank you."
Vanessa and I met when we
were seniors in high school
and our boyfriends were best friends.
Fast-forward five years.
I went to a taco truck.
First, I asked if she was still
dating her very long-term boyfriend.
And then my follow-up
question, "Are you gay?"
I had not come out to anyone
except for my best friend.
So I guess I felt comfortable enough.
"Yes, I am."
Four years later, here we are.
- Your high school boyfriend blocked you.
- He did block me.
I feel that we have a connection
that I'm never gonna find again.
And I don't, honestly,
want to look for it again.
But I want to be
married, and I'm not sure
if Vanessa's willing to do that or not.
I love you so much, but I never
envisioned a long-term relationship.
I don't want permanency,
and I don't want stability.
I want freedom.
And that's not really
what marriage consists of.
Giving an ultimatum means, at the end,
if she's not ready
yet, you will walk away.
As much as I love our
connection I I want children.
It may be a little selfish,
but I am willing to walk away because
I care about my future children
more than I care about anything else.
The terms of the
ultimatum are very clear.
You will either leave here
engaged, or you will break up.
And, of course, it's possible that
along the way you'll see a future,
and maybe even fall in
love with someone new.
Yoly and Mal
Who's issuing the ultimatum?
Yoly? Okay.
Yoly and I first met during
Pride about three years ago.
She was a men's stylist at Barneys.
I asked for her Instagram
so I could continue asking
for discounts at Barneys.
That's really it.
I knew I loved Mal when
I got sick with the flu.
She took care of me.
She put Vicks VapoRub on me.
Like, real rough on the neck.
And, oh, I just love her so much.
Like, I want you to choose me.
I need to feel that.
It's been three years.
We talk about being married often,
but Mal has expressed
to me that she wants
to have the money for the ring,
money for the house, money for the
kids, money for the kids' education,
before even taking the next step.
- She's a Virgo.
- Mm-hmm.
And I'm just like, "I
just want to be with you."
Yoly, she wants kids right
now because of her age.
But it's not about if I
want to marry her. I want to.
I don't necessarily feel
like I'm in the place
to provide for her
like I want to provide.
Down payment for the house,
exactly how much it is gonna
be, like, to do in vitro.
At what point are we joining
this journey of life together?
I wouldn't put up with anybody
else's bullshit for this long.
What's holding you back?
I knew her as a friend
before as a lover.
Every time she's talked about
another lover, it's been very similar.
You've talked about
your lover's so great,
same tenacity, same boisterous way.
So I'm just like, "Why? Why me?"
I wanna figure that out.
Yoly falls in love with wherever
she's watering the grass at.
And that is scary.
Eight weeks, however
many weeks from now,
you could come back and be
like, "Mal, I know I told you,
'You need to marry me.'"
Then be like, "I actually don't know.
I'm in love with this other person."
"I really don't know now."
I do want marriage, but I just
want her to be really sure about me.
Sorry you feel that way.
I feel like I've found my person.
I want you to feel
confident in me and in us.
And it takes a lot for you
to feel confident in us.
I I don't think it's possible
for me to find another better person.
I don't think we're gonna break
up. I think we'll choose each other.
I think.
What's making you so emotional now?
Ultimatums suck.
We've been at this for three years.
And, at the end of this, we
could just not be together.
You lose the person you thought
you were building a life with.
We're both alphas, and
we're both very, like
If this is done, I'm not gonna chase
her, 'cause I respect boundaries.
And she's not the type of
person that speaks to exes.
That sucks.
Or it's the beginning of the future.
- Thank you for that.
- Cheers to that. Yeah.
So committing to marriage
is It's a huge deal.
And there's a lot of reasons why
people say that they're not ready.
But, if we're all being honest,
it often comes down to one question.
Is this person
really the one person that I want
to spend the rest of my life with?
Or could there be someone else out
there that could be a better fit?
Well, in this experience you're
gonna get a chance to find out.
You're currently strangers,
but each of you are compatible
with multiple people here.
Your only focus over the next week
will be deciding which of them you
think could be marriage material.
And then, at the end of the week,
each of you are gonna get a chance
to choose someone
that you think embodies
what you look for in a spouse.
You'll move in together for three weeks
as a new couple in a trial marriage.
And then you'll do the
same thing all over again
with the person that you arrived with.
Tonight is your last night as a couple.
Tomorrow morning, you'll
break up and become exes.
At the end of this experience,
each of you will decide
what your future holds,
whether you leave here engaged,
single, or newly in love.
Choosing the person you're
gonna spend your life with is
the most important
decision you will ever make.
But, for now, enjoy your
last night as a couple.
I will see you in one
week at the choice.
Cheers to love.
- Cheers. Cheers, y'all.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Cheers, everyone.
I'm very excited to
begin dating new people.
People fall in love
with me pretty easily.
It's like, "Game on."
Cheers to our trial marriage.
They're cute.
I'm not ready to see
Mal explore other people
and enjoy other people.
But, I mean, I'm
willing to process that,
if it means at the end of this
we're sure as hell about each other.
- Bye, friends.
- Bye.
Bye. We'll see you soon. I hope.
This experience is the craziest
thing that I've ever done.
Either I leave here engaged to Vanessa,
I leave here single,
or with someone else.
No matter what, this experience
is gonna change my life forever.
- You ready?
- Okay, that way, maybe?
Lexi, other way.
God! Fuck
- Cheers to the last night.
- Cheers.
I'm wondering how it's gonna feel
talking to other people, and, like
Like, do we flirt? I'm curious to know.
I haven't been flirted with
by another woman in a while.
You don't know how to flirt.
I don't know if you were good at
flirting when we started dating.
That's fair.
When I first met Rae, she
was trying to booty call me.
I learned she's a bit of a boobs girl.
She's got a lot of what I like.
I'm sorry, parents.
- Oh my God.
- Oh boy.
It's okay. My mom doesn't
know how to work the TV.
I love Rae more than I think I
ever will love another person.
We've been together for
over three years now,
and I really want to marry this girl.
My mom plans weddings,
and my dad's a jeweler,
if that gives any hints.
You're the person I've been sleeping
next to for the last three years.
I get, like, one last night of cuddles.
Oh my God, stop it.
I do love you.
Come here.
We grow up envisioning this,
like, picturesque, like,
running down the street,
screaming the "I love you,"
and, like, "That's my person," but
I don't know if that exists for me.
Hearing you talk about this,
like, picturesque thing,
this perfect thing that you see
That makes me think about, like,
what your expectations
are and, like, I just
I'm not gonna live up to them.
You know, I'm not gonna
live up to perfect.
We're just
We're not perfect, and
we're never going to be.
But I'm scared you don't
know how to be okay with that.
It's scary thinking, like,
that you could be more sure
if it was someone else.
I hate to use the words, like,
"I've given you an ultimatum,"
because I don't want
I don't like the idea of feeling
like I pushed you against a wall,
but, you know, I hope that this
experience gives us clarity.
You're so sexy. What the fuck?
Have another drink.
It is a year and 11 months
since I met your
beautiful, fine-ass self.
I actually found her
on an Instagram hashtag.
That's really embarrassing.
The hashtag was "lesbian Latina."
I was lonely, single.
I wouldn't say thirsty,
but a little parched.
I, of course, DMed her and
We just never left
each other after that.
I want to be with you in the future.
So I hope that this
experiment helps us determine
whether we want to
move forward with that.
- Whether you want to.
- Yeah.
Because I know I do.
I gave Tiff an ultimatum
because, you know,
I don't want to toot my horn, but
she really likes what I do in bed.
Yes, ma'am.
Tiff knows I bring a lot to the table.
I think the sex is just a plus.
I love and hate
that Mildred is spicy as hell.
But who wants to date a boring person?
- I already miss you, babe.
- I already miss you too.
If she wants to keep
this spice in her life,
she needs to put a ring on it.
Yeah, that's how it is.
We make each other happy in the moment,
but it's really hard to see clarity
when it comes to a future with you.
And I want to be married now.
Do you just want the concept
of marriage with someone?
Or are you leaning more towards
the concept of marriage
with someone special?
What are you after?
I believe that everybody wants
to be in a relationship
with someone special,
but if this person is not
on the same page as me,
then this person can't
move forward with me.
- Mm-hmm.
- So I must let them go
and find who is actually
on the same page as me.
And at the end of this experiment
there has to be a decision.
I guess it just doesn't seem
that real.
Not discrediting your your feelings.
It just doesn't seem that real
'cause so many times when we break up,
or majority of the times
you break up with me,
I feel like you throw me
away, and then two days later,
not even two days,
sometimes two hours later,
you you want to get back.
I understand that, but this is
not another one of our breakups.
I won't come back after this.
I love Mildred so much,
but I'm not ready yet
to commit to marriage,
because Mildred and I's
communication is horrible.
We'll be great one week and
then the next week we'll break up
because we just shove all
our problems under the rug,
and we're back to the same bullshit.
I don't want to go into a
marriage having these issues,
but I also feel like I
don't want to lose her.
And it's hard. It's hard.
I care about you. I love you.
I think you're sexy as shit.
I just really hope that,
through meeting other people,
that we can really, truly find
connection with each other.
I think this is your
opportunity, because I'm ready.
Whether it's with you or alone
or maybe with someone else.
Do you want to work your
way over here for a little kiss?
- Do you want to
- Yeah.
Mildred's already been
married to a woman.
She's had a wife.
She's had a family.
She knows exactly what it is she wants.
It makes me feel extremely
pressured and uncomfortable,
but Mildred is right.
And Mildred does have a right to know
whether we are going to leave each other
or whether we're gonna move
forward together in a marriage.
- This is it.
- Yeah.
Deep down inside, I know
we truly do want this.
We do want a future with each
other. We just don't know how.
And hopefully I'll find that how.
But I can't make any promises.
I just want you to know
that, you know, regardless
I will always, always care for you.
I care for you too.
I care about you a lot.
At the end of this experience,
I'm gonna have to make a choice.
I feel like it's gonna be
the biggest choice of my life.
I feel like I literally
just lost a part of me.
But, if I could choose right
here, right now to marry her,
I still wouldn't.
- I'm gonna miss this.
- I know.
Who's gonna wake you up? My goodness.
I don't have anything to wake me up now.
Now that you're not gonna be next to me.
You're gonna have to learn how
to use this alarm clock here.
I am.
When we first touched hands,
it was like something
that you see in the movies.
It was almost like the
universe brought us together.
Time stood still.
Yeah, it was just magical.
Like, butterflies and rainbows
and unicorns, and it was magical.
- Actual butterflies, I think
- Yeah.
- No, there were.
- Oh yeah.
So last night was our
last night together.
It was really special.
It was.
I am ready to get engaged,
have a ring on this finger.
I am ready to get married.
The idea of marriage to me is
really like that ultimate commitment.
You also get to wear some flashy bling,
which I'm not opposed to at all.
I want to live with you for five years,
and if this is meant to be, where
I want to go to that marriage state,
then I'm open to it.
Five years sounds like a long time.
I've been waiting
for, like, ten already.
Oh my God.
I just feel so I'm so, like
Like, anxious right now.
- Yeah. I can see it.
- Like, my heart is I know
I feel that she is the one. I'm just
Like, my my processing
takes longer than her.
I'm hoping this will accelerate that.
You kinda have to.
I know. Oh God.
- It's not really a hope. It's like
- Okay. Yeah.
It's like a "have to."
- I know.
- Yeah.
You're gonna have somebody
on the other side of the bed.
- I know. And so are you.
- Weird, huh?
Weird, yeah.
Good luck to you and that person.
I'm gonna miss you, boo.
And I'm fully participating
in this experience.
So, you know, you be
you and do your thing.
- Didn't even give you a hug.
- I know. Big hug.
You're gonna get through this.
And whatever happens, no
attachment to the outcome.
I did give Aussie the ultimatum.
And I fully stand by it. Um
I just know that it is the
right thing for both of us.
It definitely feels real now.
And I knew that this is when all
the emotions were gonna come out.
Just a lot of sadness.
Let's do this, boo.
This is gonna be different.
I don't want to spend time without you.
Like, we haven't spent more than,
what, like a week apart in three years?
Yeah, and it was hard.
It's gonna be super weird to
see you with anyone else.
And obviously, like, I cannot picture
you with someone else right now,
and I can't picture
myself with someone else,
but if that opportunity
comes and feels natural,
let's both feel free
enough to explore that.
It's so shitty to say, but
but, let's not hold ourselves back.
We thought this was a good
idea. That's why we're here.
Commit to it.
I kind of don't want to do this
anymore. Let's just be together.
But that wouldn't solve anything.
That brings us right back
to where we are right now,
where you want to get
married, and and I don't.
But I don't want to.
You're having commitment
issues, I think, Xan.
You think so?
You know, don't get mad
at me if I like someone.
You know.
I'll definitely be jealous.
You've been so committed
to me for so long
and known you want to marry
me and be with me forever,
which is terrifying.
But give someone else a shot
and see if maybe the
connection you have with me
is something you can see
yourself having with someone else.
I don't want to be away from you.
You're a sucker.
I love you.
I love you. Ten more minutes, right?
I think I have to go.
I want you to be able
to get to where I'm at.
I want you to take this seriously.
I will.
You have to let me go.
- I love you.
- I love you.
Last night I fell asleep
next to the person I
want to get married to.
And this morning I watched
them walk right out the door.
And that sucked, but I think
everyone's in the same boat as me.
We're all kind of getting used to
this idea of calling someone our exes
and being in this weird dynamic
where we haven't been single in forever.
I am literally here in my cutest bikini,
and I'm going on dates
with eight beautiful women.
And, as weird as that is to say,
I'm here, and I'm doing it,
and I am living in
whatever this moment is.
So why did you give
your ex the ultimatum?
I just want to feel chosen.
I just feel like you're not
My thing is I want you
to be like, "Hell yeah."
This is gonna sound really weird,
but, like, I'm super into
tarot readings and stuff.
The fact that my now ex, Aussie,
is going to be dating other people,
I don't know how many
feet away from me
I'm just gonna kinda go with it.
- Hello.
- Hi.
It's really rare that you go
out and you find this many women
that are focused on
marriage and commitment.
Whether you were the ultimatum
giver or the ultimatum receiver,
we're all thinking about
marriage in some capacity.
- What do you play?
- Basketball.
- Come on. Yes.
- Okay.
I played in college. I've also
dated my teammates before
- Oh no.
- so I know what that looks like.
- You're one of those.
- Right.
Normally, you go into a date
and it's a lot of small talk,
whereas here you're, like, deep diving
at the first question you're asking
because we're all trying to get
to what you want in a partner.
What you don't want.
I'm more of a doer.
Like, you do or you don't.
I'm laughing only because
you sound like my ex.
I issued the ultimatum,
and I'm ready to commit.
And I want to be with someone
that I know I can spend
the rest of my life with.
This beautiful pool
with all these ladies,
it's like going to Dinah
Shore all over again.
Where's my drink?
So we're on this date.
Yeah. I know. You feel it?
- I have to say
- I'm not mad.
you're the most masculine
person I've ever been on a date with.
- Fair.
- Fair enough.
I think for now. You
might find out later.
- You might do your hair different.
- It's different.
- This is cool, though.
- Yeah.
- Traditionally, I don't date masc.
- Yeah.
- But I'm also like, "Fuck it."
- Eh.
- We're here. I'm grown.
- Yeah.
I might have way more in
common with you than anybody.
- I know. Yeah.
- So I'm like, fine.
We'll figure out who tops
and bottoms another time.
- I love it.
- For now, we're good.
Whether you dress more
masculine or more feminine
or somewhere in-between,
I try to be more open-minded.
But when it comes to the
basic logistics of each other,
I'm a picky person.
So a deal-breaker for me, it's like
I can't get down with a girl
that flat up eats a
juicy, raw, fucking steak.
I really want to not eat meat, but
Interesting, definitely interesting.
- What's your take on having a child?
- Yeah
Uh, no, not not really my forte.
That's a dealbreaker for me.
On to the next one.
You're young. You're young, right?
- Yeah. I'm 24.
- You're 24!
Gosh. Oh no.
- Did you get the ultimatum or someone
- I gave.
You gave the ultimatum.
Okay, so you are ready.
I am ready.
- You are ready to go at 24.
- Yeah.
As far as characteristics or
qualities I see in a potential partner,
I do want someone that is really
good at communicating with me,
and I want someone to
validate my feelings.
I also want someone
that can keep it spicy
and keep things interesting
and keep me on my tippy-toes,
'cause I get bored as fuck.
I love your hair, by the way.
- Thank you.
- It's awesome.
Oh God.
I haven't gone on a date in
four years, but here we are.
I'm ready.
I'm gonna get a drink, or five,
and then I'm gonna date everyone I can.
I'm gonna date you
and you and you and you
and everyone I can, you
know, get my hands on.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Welcome to our date.
You smell so good.
Oh, thank you.
- What do I smell like?
- You look so good.
Thank you.
- What do you look for in a partner?
- Vibes.
Fuck. That's what I would say too.
- Vibes.
- Vibes.
Mal is strikingly good-looking.
You're August 26th. I'm August 26th.
I always say that if I found a
clone of myself, I would date them.
Do you think people would think
we're clones of each
other if they saw us?
I mean, yeah.
- We look alike.
- 1,000%.
I don't want someone who's
just all into work or
- Good. Yes.
- I love adventure, taking risks.
That's my biggest thing.
Oh my gosh. She's the
cutest thing I've ever seen.
know where that is.
You're telling me that
you date pillow princesses?
No Um, not always.
- Mildred is not a pillow princess.
- She dates pillow princesses, everybody.
- Mildred?
- No, no, no, Mildred's not. Mildred's not.
Um, but I have before. I have.
She is beautiful. She's
a feisty little thing.
So how are you today?
I'm feeling good, but it feels weird.
I can see what Vanessa's doing.
I definitely have not processed
everything and, yeah, I don't know.
Yes, that's where
everything is happening.
One thing I'm not doing is looking
to see if Tiff is looking at me.
Because I'm looking really good.
And I don't want to sound cocky,
but I know she's thinking of me.
Thank you so much.
Last time I was in the dating
world, I was mainly dating men.
So this is like a huge change for me.
I'm feeling happy and good about it.
It's bizarre.
Oh my gosh.
- What are you drinking?
- Tequila water with some lime.
- How about you?
- Aperol spritz.
I want to make sure. Lexi
wants to get married, right?
- Lexi is giving me the ultimatum.
- Yeah. Xander's giving me the ultimatum.
- So we both got it.
- Same. But you don't want to get married.
Well, it's not necessarily that.
I think it's just, like
It's such a big deal for me that
that it's scary to commit to.
The idea of being with someone
forever scares me, you know?
- Definitely. I think most people
- Right?
- I don't know
- Apparently not for our partners
That's the thing that I don't get.
How do you get to that point
where you're so confident
in saying, "You're my partner forever"?
I thought you didn't want
marriage. How about kids?
Definitely kids.
I would love to host a child in
my belly if my body allows it.
Um, what about you?
I have a specific scenario for kids.
Tell me. What is it?
So me and my partner, like,
we have the same sperm.
'Cause I want the mutual father.
- Sure.
- And then I will have her embryo in me.
- Whoa! Yes.
- So I have a connection.
And then the other
one, she'll have mine.
That's like a total transfer.
Wow. That's a wild thought.
So what do you look for in a
partner? Do you have a type?
- Great question.
- Is this your type?
Well, first, I'm pansexual, so for me
it doesn't really matter, gender-wise.
And I don't know if I
have a real physical type.
I like someone who's confident.
- I mean, that's sexy and I like that.
- Yes.
Someone who knows what they want.
Because I think I'm
not like that sometimes.
Not that I'm not confident. I
feel like, in a general sense
I have a good career, a
good head on my shoulders,
good family and
- You're pretty.
- Thank you, so are you.
I guess you can't say that.
- No, I can't. Like, "Hello."
- "And I'm pretty."
I am shy, but I feel like I like someone
who can bring it out in me sometimes.
Was she the first girl you've dated?
Um, seriously, yes.
I had a girlfriend in college,
but it lasted like a month.
Now that I've found the word pansexual,
I really feel like that's my vibe.
- To get some clarity, oh my God.
- Yeah.
- I don't even know what time it is.
- Yeah, same.
I mean, literally this morning
we all woke up with our partners.
- Yes. Yeah.
- And now we're single.
Does it feel real?
- No.
- Kind of no.
But knowing that our girlfriends
our ex-girlfriends are over
there laughing I can hear them.
I don't know how you're gonna be awake
after having another one of these
You're so right.
So we should laugh a
little bit louder and
Throw each other in the pool.
So tell me about you.
I love being outside and
pretty much always moving.
The first thing I noticed
about Lexi is that she is
She has this amazing
I am also pretty active, but
I do love a good movie day.
- Yeah, that's huge.
- Yeah. I don't know.
Just I don't know how to say it.
Her appearance is extremely sexy.
Lexi knew what she was doing
picking the bikini she picked.
I don't know if people are gonna be
talking to her or talking to them.
But they're honestly hard to hide, so
There's no blaming her for
what she's got going on.
Um, okay. What makes you a catch?
Ooh, what makes me a catch?
Wait, how about this?
Tell me what makes me a catch. I'll
tell you what makes you a catch.
But I don't know anything about you yet.
Cool. Okay.
I'm gonna not look at your boobs
because I know they're already great.
I'm really looking at
you. You're beautiful.
She's hot. Did I say that? She's hot.
Your eyes look like
melted chocolate?
I think?
You have a bubbly personality.
Um, I'm going to imagine
that you are athletic.
Very, yeah.
You seem like you could talk to anyone.
I think that's a really great thing.
- Those are the things I know so far.
- That was spot on.
- Oh, fantastic.
- Yeah.
Should I make another guess?
We'll see if it's right?
- Your favorite color's green.
- No, blue.
- Mmm.
- But I do like green on me.
- Cool.
- It was a good start.
I also like yellow, so
I'm enjoying the bikini.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Um, you're also super bubbly.
I can hear you talking
elsewhere, and you just
- I'm loud.
- No, no, no.
Your energy is awesome.
It's helping make this experience
'Cause amidst all of
the weight of this
you need the light. You
definitely have that, like
I'm so glad we went this route.
- Yeah.
- Keep telling me. This is amazing.
- Great smile, by the way.
- Thank you.
Artsy more than sporty?
Definitely not sporty.
Artsy more than sporty.
Throw me into a sport and
I'll just do some somersaults.
I don't know what I'll do.
- But you'll have a good vibe doing it?
- Yeah.
- I'm getting somewhere.
- You're really good.
- Well, cheers.
- Cheers, yeah.
Thanks for playing that
game. It made me feel good.
- Good.
- I hope I made you feel good.
You made me feel great.
Even though you told me my eyes
looked like melted chocolate.
No, I'm kidding.
- So beautiful. Chestnut!
- Chocolate is good.
I'm amazed at how well I am connecting
with pretty much every
single one of them.
Their hesitation is
not necessarily based
on the fundamentals of marriage,
but rather, "Do I want to marry this
partner that I'm with right now?"
I see value in marriage
for a lot of reasons,
but, for me, I'm searching for that
real emotional desire to get married,
and that's what I've been lacking.
I feel like I'm always
taking care of things now
- Interesting.
- in my relationship with Xander.
I don't want to have to fight
battles for another adult.
Interesting. Because
I am younger, and I
- You're 24? Right? Yeah.
- Yeah.
I have my shit sorted.
I am a protector-provider-type.
"Do you need me to call the doctor?
Do you need me to get this together?"
Because I feel like I have
to in my relationships.
- Or else it won't get done.
- It won't.
There gets to be a point
for me where it's like,
I'm I'm exhausted
of always being the one
that feels I need to do
that for someone else.
I get that.
And I have not dated anybody
who's like, "I can get this done."
- Yes.
- Not even just for me.
But for themselves/us. If that
I totally, totally get that.
That's amazing.
I came here because
I wanted to marry Rae.
I still feel that way.
But I think I'm seeing that there's
other outcomes in this process.
I feel like, when I first saw
Vanessa, I thought we were gonna clash
because we have very
extroverted personalities.
But as I'm talking to her more,
I feel very comfortable with her.
There's flirtiness and fun,
and, like, it's coming my way.
So it's totally weird.
- What are you drinking?
- An old-fashioned and water.
Okay, I'm a Manhattan girl.
- Yes.
- I will tell you this.
- I make a freaking phenomenal Manhattan.
- You make them?
What? You're amazing.
- Are you a Virgo?
- No, I'm not. I am a Capricorn.
- Are you a Virgo?
- I am.
I've actually been told I
do really poorly with Virgos.
That's not true. That's
actually your soulmate.
Whoever told you that was trying
to keep you away from Virgos.
Oh, so probably just a crazy ex.
For sure.
- Virgos and Capricorns are the match.
- Really?
- All right.
- They're both grounding.
- Cheers to already finding it.
- Hey, our work here is done.
I got issued the ultimatum.
- You did.
- It got put on me.
- You were the issuer, if I remember.
- I was, yeah.
- I'm the attacker. I'm the bludgeoner.
- Yeah.
Um it's a timing thing for me.
- My parents've been together 45, 50 years.
- Wow.
They didn't get married
for the first ten years.
You don't have to
rush into these things.
The other part of that is
my "ex" loves really hard.
She's a serial monogamist.
Every relationship,
she's super invested in.
I don't feel different than them.
- So you wonder
- If you want to marry me,
I want to know why I'm so
different than where you've been.
- So yeah.
- Yeah.
Part of me is annoyed with the ultimatum
'cause I'm like,
"You're putting it on me,
but I kinda am unsure
about how you feel."
No. That makes sense.
My ex, when we talked
about our relationships
Her problems didn't change
between me and the last girl.
- Right.
- And that's frustrating.
Because it does scare me. It
makes me wonder, "Am I different?"
I feel similarly. Except you're
the one who issued the ultimatum.
I know, so I'm the asshole.
No. You just know what you want.
My parents have been
married for 25 years.
You know, nothing was perfect.
It wasn't always easy,
but they love each other and
they've gone through life together.
I I think no relationship's perfect.
It's about being a team.
It's not 50-50 all the time, but
it's about working through it.
- And we gotta grow.
- Yeah.
I'm gonna work through the
hard shit with you. It's you.
- Yeah.
- That type of thing.
That's interesting. Yeah, I
think I feel the same way.
Every single conversation
I'm having with everyone
goes to another level.
It's been really awesome.
Vanessa is funny. She's quick-witted.
It's fun. It's easy.
But Lexi and I
She's talking about family dynamics.
That's one of my core values.
I didn't expect to have
a connection so fast,
but I would absolutely love to
explore more connection with her.
Go deeper.
Want to just do the three weeks now?
The last time I hung out with
this many women at one time
was right before Yoly.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- How are you?
- Good to see you.
You too.
So what are some things that
you want from this experience?
Being Both of us are the
ones that issued the ultimatum.
I am excited for an outcome.
I kinda just want to know
yes or no, essentially.
I totally feel that.
I want it to be a "hell yeah,"
or if not, then I'm okay
with letting that go.
It sucks, but I want you to
be like "hell yes" about me.
I would love How
great would it be to hear,
- "Oh my God, I have to have you."
- Yeah.
- "You're the love of my life."
- Absolutely. Act on it.
I don't feel like I've
gotten that, which
Don't think I'm the worst person.
Right, right, right.
- You're like, "I'm not terrible."
- Yeah.
After today's round of dating,
it's really good meeting
people who gave the ultimatum,
just 'cause it's, like,
an affirmation of, like,
"You're not crazy for expecting
your partner to kind of show up."
"And here's someone like
Xander who matches your energy."
Like, it it feels awesome.
This date is the best one I've had.
We're drinking tequila.
- Yeah.
- You're ready.
Listen, I would say yes if we were
gonna spend the night together.
- Oh my God. Take it back a step.
- Sorry.
We haven't even moved in together yet.
- I take it back.
- Don't take it back. I'm okay with it.
Everybody grab a drink. Over the fire.
Cheers to this wonderful experience
that we're all going through.
And cheers to love. Cheers to marriage.
And hopefully we can all
get our shit together.
- Wow.
- Yeah!
- I don't know where my drink went.
- Oh yeah.
I feel like we're at a lesbian
club and all our exes are here.
No, I guarantee we
would not be this happy.
It's weird. It's weird
seeing your ex looking hot.
And then to be single and dating around.
It feels very uncomfortable,
but I want to keep
pushing myself forward
to give me the answers that
I need out of this process.
I have a question you guys
might not want to answer.
Would you guys be willing to tell
everyone who your number one was?
Maybe Maybe Yoly?
Don't worry about it.
- Are we jealous?
- That's aggressive. I can't.
A great question.
If Vanessa wasn't here, I would
have dated everyone at this table.
Hostility, sarcasm, jealousy,
it's just in the air.
And I feel like me, being
born and bred in Jersey,
I've got that in me. Game on.
Okay, no one else? Nothing else?
What I'm excited for is
my new relationship with
with Mal.
And you be best friends with Mal,
then we'd have threesomes occasionally.
Sounds very uncomfortable.
I'll join that throuple.
I'll be a part of that.
Can we do that?
Can all three of us be married together?
It's not legal, but
it can be consensual.
We can be okay with that.
They're both cute.
I think it would be best if
this experience just became
like a polyamorous orgy,
and we're all like, "Okay."
That's kind of how I feel.
I like how you guys are like,
"Let's do it." I'm like, "Hold on."
It's just I feel awkward for that.
Do the awkward dance.
It's a small world out there.
- It is a small world.
- It really is.
The lesbian world, I feel like.
Especially if you live in one area.
- You hang out with the same people.
- Even a big city, it doesn't matter.
It's really weird seeing
my ex at the cocktail party
because I know my mom
bought her that dress,
and I want to give her a hug and
tell her how pretty she looks.
Should we go find our
own little cozy spot?
- Should we go to that fire?
- The fire.
But I deserve the person that
is gonna tell me I'm the one.
I think when you're surrounding yourself
with people who also have
marriage on their mind, it's fun.
I kinda told you, you
are not my typical type.
I can't believe you're wearing jewelry
and playing with your
hair, and I'm into you.
I don't understand it.
It does tend to have
that effect on people.
- It's this really weird situation.
- Yeah, right.
Like no other time in our life.
You couldn't pay to have this
happen to our lives again.
You could pay me.
- I could pay you?
- I have a rate.
Good to know. What are we
talking? Hundreds? Thousands?
- Is this a Pretty Woman situation?
- You are a sugar mama.
You would definitely be 100%
more successful than me in life.
That's good. I mean, if I make it,
then at least I have
somebody to spend it.
I'll spend it.
Oh no, I'm sure.
- You are throwing me for a loop.
- Good.
I swear, I think I've been
referring to you as a curveball.
Like, not that If you don't catch
the sports reference, but, like
- Baseball? Softball?
- Baseball.
And I've been thinking about it a
lot more than I would care to admit.
Too often.
I feel like every time I talk to you,
we have one of those "whoa" moments.
Like, "Whoa. Why did this happen?"
But, like, you're unexpected.
I feel like I came into this and was
like, "I know myself pretty well."
But you were, like the one
that I just didn't think
So what are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
- Okay.
I think I objectively say,
I would like to go on a
date with you tomorrow.
Absolutely same.
I'm so happy you wanted to
go on another date with me.
There's definitely something there.
I don't know what to make of
I don't know what to call it,
but my situation with Vanessa.
I think there's maybe some comfort
that I can tell she feels the same.
We just
We don't know what the hell
it is about the two of us,
but we both just kind of, like,
hit each other on our asses.
I feel like there's no doubt
in my mind that it'll be fun.
But, like, I'm not sure if
living with her would be madness.
Like, I don't know what to do.
- There you go again.
- To learning things from each other.
I need a lime.
Mind if we move over there?
Let's do it. Yeah.
What a What a fun thing.
You are someone that I never
thought I would be interested in.
Not because you're not
beautiful. You are stunning.
But I just didn't think
you would be my type.
But when we were sitting on the towels,
I was like, "Oh my God,
I like this girl so much."
- No, I'm not joking.
- No, I know. I'm sorry.
- I'm serious, like
- Me too.
That means a lot to me.
Yeah. I think, same here. I think
there's a little bit of, like
confusion for me.
I'm curious about you.
I think we're trying
to make a connection here.
I think, any time I date someone,
there's a nervousness to it, right?
- We could continue to figure this out?
- Okay.
A second day together.
Somebody want to break up our exes?
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