The Upshaws (2021) s03e02 Episode Script

Home Repairs

Baby, I don't think we can do this.
Are we this desperate?
We don't have jobs.
We need money.
Oh, man. I'm starting to get
the bubble guts. This is gonna go left.
Well, then turn your ass right.
Our babies gotta eat.
We doing this.
We ain't doing shit.
Your ass is waiting in the car.
Hey, what y'all doing?
Regina needs to talk to Lucretia.
Is she in there?
Miss Turner's in her office.
"Miss Turner's in her"
Why're you talking
like one of the dudes from Get Out?
Was he trying to warn me?
Okay, look.
Do you think this is easy for me, huh?
All the shit
I'm going through with Lucretia.
And now we gotta suck it up
to ask her for your job back.
We don't have to.
You could be cool
and let me sell some more blood.
Solid as a rock ♪
Solid ♪
What the hell you do to my office?
And what happened to my lucky oil stain?
You went to jail and you got fired.
Was it really that lucky, Bennie?
I'm just making the shop
what I always thought it should be.
So, you want it to be bitter and lonely?
Okay. Ah
Before you hit him back,
Bennie has a prepared statement.
"Dear, Lucretia."
Nope, I'm lying already.
How you gonna fire
Bennie from Bennie's Garage?
It might be Bennie's Garage,
but it's Lucretia's money.
I always said if you kept messing up,
this would be a possibility.
And here we are.
Here's the original contract.
Damn, Bennie, every paragraph ends with,
"If you mess up, she could fire you."
You know I don't read
the end of paragraphs.
There it is.
Nothing but drama and stupidity.
Yup. Stupid is as stupid does.
That's just you again, stupid.
This shit between us
has gone on long enough. All right?
I mean, come on, y'all.
We've all said and done some things.
There's plenty of blame to go around.
Not if you're blameless.
Oh, I know you ain't about to sit there
with your little half-burnt vanilla candle
- acting like you ain't done shit.
- Yeah.
Just because you took him back,
doesn't mean I have to.
You know what? You gonna make me
do something I don't wanna do.
Read the end of a paragraph?
Auntie Cretia?
Tell her
to give your daddy his job back.
Please give my daddy his job back.
Now, cry.
- I can't cry.
- You told me you could cry.
- I just wanted to go back to bed.
- Girl, you
All right, just stop.
This shit is too pathetic.
Look, I am shorthanded,
and I don't have time
to be interviewing people.
There's a Honda in the first bay.
Thank you, Cree.
Uh, but I gotta get my stash
out of the smoke detector,
and I'll be good to go.
Why are we so cute?
Right? My eyes are all the way
open and everything.
Proud of you, but you can't post it.
You're wearing
the same outfit you wore last week.
- You've been keeping track of what I wear?
- I mean, we all are.
We call this your Tuesday outfit.
I haven't repeated an outfit in 119 days.
Forty-one for me.
What? I went to a Catholic school.
We had uniforms.
I'll try to mix it up.
Oh! Maybe I'll wear
my Wednesday pants on Tuesday.
I wouldn't.
Should I get this shirt?
Oh, girl, yes, that shirt is fire.
I think so too.
Uh, you forgot to pay for that.
You're funny.
Don't make me wish I didn't invite you.
Uh I'm cool.
I do crime.
My auntie and my dad just got out of jail.
I'm 33% thug life.
Now where the pants at?
All right. Car's all set.
Tony, need you
to take it on the test drive.
Bring me back some Hot Cheetos.
Did Miss Turner okay that?
Do I give a shit?
Hey, come on, now. A little less chitchat.
I ain't trying to get fired.
What's the status on that Honda?
Um, I fixed the guy's carburetor,
radiator was cracked.
I patched it up for free.
Guess I wasn't clear.
What's the status on that Honda, Duck?
Uh, Bennie fixed the guy's carburetor,
the radiator was cracked
and he patched it up for free.
Okay, I just said the same shit.
He just said it slower.
Now, I'm supposed to
take it for a test drive.
Is that all right with you, boss?
Of course it's all right with me.
Look, I just told you to do that.
Is everybody high but me?
Hey, when I said you could come back,
I never said
you could come back as manager.
I just hired you. Today's your first day.
Fresh fish on the line.
Now that's some bullshit.
You know what, Tony? Kill that test drive.
Bennie can do it while
he gets us lunch from the Rib Shack.
What? I'll snatch a rib out my body
before I go get you one.
And make sure
you put my sauce on the side.
I'd hate for you
to have to make two trips.
Oh, I actually brought my lunch.
- Throw it out.
- Okay.
And make sure you clock out before you go.
You know what, Lucretia?
I ain't going nowhere.
I didn't even clock in.
Well, that'll just
be reflected in your paycheck.
Okay, now you messing with my money.
I don't need this shit.
Fine. But just know,
if you walk out, you're done.
It's all mine.
But if you stay, I'm the boss.
Try being a boss with no employees.
Duck, Tony. Let's go.
Duck, Tony, let's go.
Hey, I got to keep a job
to stay on parole.
Duck, it's always something with you.
Tony, are you coming with me?
The hell I am.
My girl wants to go on a Disney cruise.
And if she has fun, I get to go next time.
Oh, Lord.
Here we go. More dancing than cleaning.
I didn't know old people liked this song.
Uh-uh! Old? Okay, girl.
You should've watched my TikTok.
Hey, hey, Hector, Hector.
Hey. Hey, Hector. Hector.
Can I talk to you for a second?
We'll be right back, Sydney.
I love that you guys
are vibing and everything
Yeah, I'm showing her some stuff.
Yeah, but could your stuff
be a little less extra?
You know, just in front of my daughter.
Yeah. Okay, cool, yeah. No worries. Uh
Ah, you know what? Uh, you guys have fun.
I actually have to go run some errands.
- Oh, okay. Cool.
- Yes. Um, Sydney, uh, bye.
Don't leave.
He's gonna make me listen to jazz.
That was fun!
Can we go to McDonald's
every day after school, Mommy?
If you promise to come down out
of them tubes when I call your name.
You didn't think
your mama could shimmy up there.
You almost didn't get down.
And that's why we going to
a different McDonald's tomorrow.
- We get to hang out again tomorrow?
- Mm-hmm.
I'm glad you don't have a job.
I love At-Home Mommy.
No, it's just a transition Whatever.
Wine time.
You left work early?
Something like that. I quit.
What? Bennie, what the hell, man?
I didn't kiss Lucretia's ass
'cause I liked the taste.
It was to get you your job back.
Look, chill. I don't need the job.
I got a better job at a better garage.
That was quick. Where?
Hey, Bennie.
When you doing that oil change,
hit me up with some wiper blades.
Oh, hell. Our garage?
Baby, go to Costco
and get me some wiper blades.
And get me one of them big water jugs
so I can put it in the waiting area.
You mean our living room?
Oh, so, you see my vision.
She sure do.
You know what? Let me close this door.
Yeah, you better close it.
Don't want the neighbors
to hear y'all business.
Bennie, you're not about to
start fixing cars in our driveway.
Why not?
This is how Bennie's Garage got started.
Baby, I want to get back to my roots.
You know how I do it.
I like the grit and grind.
Mm-hmm, you did keep
the money flowing back then.
Yeah, like a river.
Until Lucretia's face dammed it up.
Uh, so, we we cool?
Can he fix my car?
Yeah. I guess we can give it a try.
For a while.
Cool. Cool.
So, Bennie, uh, what this gonna run me?
I don't know. What you think?
What? What you mean what you think?
Sir, we will calculate parts and labor
and give you
a full accounting upon pickup.
So, y'all trying to be on the up-and-up.
Okay. Cool.
Girl, look at you
all managing and everything.
- Hey!
- Look at that. Get your little butt over.
If that's gonna be the only money
coming in, I'mma make sure it's right.
Yep. And it's gonna be like
we used to do it.
- Mmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm!
- Just me and you.
Okay, so I'mma go to Costco.
Maya's upstairs.
- Text me whatever else we need.
- Okay.
Oh, shoot. Somebody blocked me in.
That's my man, Dino.
He dropped his key off. You can take it.
Yeah, if you hear some rattling,
jump out and run.
Black Toyota ready for pickup.
And ma'am, your Jeep Cherokee
will be ready in 20 minutes.
Sir, would you meet me at the cashier?
- Where's that?
- Right here.
Oh, cool. He fixed my brake line.
That's the last time I dump
a Puerto Rican on her birthday.
- This is the last of it.
- Thanks, baby. Just put it there.
Want me to make you
something before you go?
I'm not allowed
to take food from customers.
But my mama can slide me
a ham sandwich if she wants to.
You got it.
Mustard, yes?
That will be $187.42.
Thank you so much for your business.
Tell a friend.
Two tomatoes, yeah?
So, this is your plan now, huh?
You guys are really making this happen.
I'm low-key impressed.
- It's what we did when you were a kid.
- I blocked those years out.
I was skeptical, but I have to say,
this week has been great.
And I get to sleep with the boss.
Ew! Ma, I'm about to eat.
Hey, babe.
So, you're "home" home.
'Cause I love it.
Why are you sweating?
We can't all wear shorts, Bernard.
Hey, what you wearing?
Is that new?
Uh, this?
- You got me this.
- I did?
I threw it in the back of my closet.
It was ugly. But now it's not.
Hmm, your mama know what's up.
You sure do. You're ahead of your time.
You're a fashion icon.
I gotta go.
I'mma work through lunch, baby.
Ooh, two tomatoes. My girl.
I've been here for over two hours.
I've been here all day. And?
I don't see a wedding ring.
What you rushing home to?
Excuse me?
Is there anyone friendly I can talk to?
I don't know. You have a therapist?
Excuse me.
Uh, didn't this coffee used to be free?
And the coffee beans used to be
in a jungle in Brazil. Shit changes.
Dollar seventy-five.
Can I at least get some cream?
Of course.
That'll be two dollars even.
More cream, more money.
Excuse me. My car
Good Lord!
Hold on. I'll go check.
What's happening with this car? What
Why ain't nobody holding tools?
You gonna fix it with a wish?
- We don't know what's wrong with it.
- I wrote it on the form.
You wrote, "Broken."
So, fix it.
Bennie would diagnose what was
wrong with it then tell us what to do.
Just look under the hood.
If something looks broken, fix it.
That ain't how cars work.
Oh, so, now you're a mechanic?
God, I hate this.
Coming in here every day.
Dealing with people.
Now I got mechanics who can't fix shit.
They should call y'all "me-can't-ics."
That's it. Two hours
just to fix a damn headlight?
Shit, how are we supposed to
guess that during the daytime?
Damn, I wasn't nowhere near
the front of the car.
We need Bennie.
So do I.
Just give me my keys
so I can take my car to Bennie's.
You're at Bennie's, sort of.
Not this shit pit.
His new garage.
New garage?
Did y'all know about this?
Uh I may have heard some rumors.
From Bennie.
Yup. Yup.
Got that cute top I was looking at.
Dang, girl. You're a pro.
I didn't see you take it.
You know how I do it.
Smooth as silk, hard as a brick.
That's some jail talk.
I'm about that life. I'll school you.
Excuse me, ladies.
I need to look in those bags.
I paid for this. I paid for all of this.
I've got receipts.
I ain't with these hoodlums.
I'm not about that life.
I want to go to college.
Were you just pretending to steal too?
Okay. Come with me.
What kind of freak
only pretends to steal? We are so over.
Over? Hold on, girl,
don't let honesty come in between us.
I thought about stealing.
Doesn't that make me an accessory?
Oh, what if I thought
about stealing an accessory?
But I wouldn't though.
I'm so glad you went
on my class trip to the zoo.
I hate the damn zoo.
Ooh, I got to get off my feet.
Ain't this a bitch?
Do you know if my part
finally came in for my Nissan?
I don't know. I Just give me a second.
I was at the zoo all day.
That reminds me
I finished all your animal crackers.
So, y'all rummaging through cabinets
and whatnot now, huh?
Oh, okay.
I got something for you.
Shit! What What the hell!
Look, Mom. Someone built a fort.
What does "flammable" mean?
It means
it shouldn't be in my kitchen.
Baby, go upstairs
and wash that zoo off of you.
Oh, man, I wanted Aaliyah to smell me.
What's wrong with you?
What happened to my jams?
- What happened to my house, huh?
- Ah, baby, no.
There are people and boxes everywhere.
Well, that's what success look like, baby.
Okay. I Yes. Okay, I get it.
It's great. All great. All right?
But I'm starting to think
this whole home garage thing
Well, well, well.
What the hell?
So, this is what we're doing?
Fixing cars in your driveway?
What, are the kids
in the basement sewing sneakers?
This is none of your business.
Actually, this is all your business.
That shop ain't shit without me, Lucretia.
- So, you really feeling yourself, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
- Think you the master of fixing cars?
- I am.
I bet you don't know
what a blinking red light
on a '96 Chevy Tahoe means.
Do you?
And don't say you're out of gas
'cause that ain't it.
Oh, Lucretia. Now you just sad.
Yeah, you might want to
get back to your empty shop.
You don't want to keep nobody waiting.
So So, you really think
you can just compete with me?
You think you can take what I got?
All right, Bennie.
I put that air filter in.
What else you God damn!
Oh, hey, Miss Turner.
I still got ten minutes on my lunch.
I'll see you
I missed you. Haven't heard from you
in a few days. What's going on?
Can you try this?
There is no way this is nonfat.
Yeah, I know you got my texts
'cause you keep your read receipts on.
Bernard, look, I've wanted to talk,
but I didn't know how to say it.
- Just say it.
- We should break up.
Uh, say something else.
Look, when you told me I was
being too extra in front of your daughter,
I realized that this wasn't gonna work.
You're dumping me because I said
something about your dancing?
It's not about my dancing.
When you said it, you basically said
there was something wrong with me,
which tells me you feel
there's still something wrong with you.
- No, I don't. I'm out.
- But you're not proud.
- How you gonna tell me what I'm not?
- Because I've been there.
When I first came out,
even though I was with someone,
I still was not comfortable in my skin.
But I am now, and I'm proud of who I am.
Extra proud.
I'm so sorry.
I accidentally brought you
a whole milk latte.
Mmm, I knew it. I know my percents.
- Let me fix it for you.
- Thank you.
Really? In the middle of our breakup?
Middle? Oh, no, that was it.
I'm way hotter than that guy.
Look, what do you want me to say?
So I'm not that comfortable,
but I can get there.
And you will. That's your journey.
I just can't be on it
with you as your boyfriend.
But I can be as your friend.
One nonfat latte.
And something sweet for your trouble.
- Thank you.
- Yes. All right.
Promise me you'll wait for me
to leave before you get his number.
He already wrote it on the napkin.
Ooh, Lord. I got
all that stuff out that kitchen.
- Good.
- And put it in the dining room.
- Bennie!
- What?
We got till November.
That's the Thanksgiving room.
- Ooh, it's been a day, man, I tell you.
- It's been too many days.
I forgot how exhausting all this is.
I know that's not
a tow truck at 11:45 at night.
Yeah, my partner
broke down on the freeway.
I told him to bring it by.
Okay. This shit's ridiculous.
Our living room is a waiting room,
our kitchen is a storage room,
Cretia called us Sanford and Sucka.
I'm sick of this shit.
I thought you liked being at home.
Well, I was wrong.
And why is Maya always around?
You made me find her
at the mall that time.
It's like we got six Mayas.
There's something beeping outside!
Oh, and there goes one of them now.
It's just your daddy beeping.
Go to sleep.
- Why is Dad
- I said go to bed!
Damn, baby,
I'm starting to think you're stressed.
This is not working.
We gotta figure something out.
It's not working.
It's working for me.
Why can't I have what I want sometimes?
'Cause you're married.
'Cause you have a family
and your family can't live in a garage.
They can if they get their minds right.
We don't have a choice.
How else are we gonna get the money?
You could get a real job.
I got a real job, and it's working,
but you don't believe in me.
Don't you put words in my mouth.
That's not what I said.
All I know is, I can't do this anymore.
I can't deal with this anymore.
You can't deal with this
or can't deal with me?
Right now I'm not sure.
Let me help you out.
You won't have to deal with me
the rest of the night. I'm going out.
It's almost midnight,
ain't nothing open but the club.
Well, you know where I'll be.
The hell you will!
- You think you can run my life?
- Somebody has to.
- I don't need this shit.
- Neither do I.
- Okay, bye.
- Fine, bye!
I'm out!
Is it 15 years ago?
Man, I was just
asking myself the same thing.
We just had the same damn fight
when we went on our break.
I was getting ready
to go crease your Jordans.
Oh, no, not again. You should've
just threw some hot grits on me.
Baby, I'm thinking
about just shutting it down.
Mm-mmm. No, baby. That's not what I want.
We just got to find
somewhere for you to do it.
Who do we know
that's just gonna give us a shop?
Didn't we have
the same conversation 15 years ago?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all having déjà vu.
So, what do you think?
Can you two partner up again?
Look, I'll admit that
things got mildly more difficult
without having you at the shop.
I mean, what's so difficult
about not having any customers?
- No, I
- Bennie, we not doing that right now.
All right. Okay.
Okay, fine.
Lucretia, the way you took
that big chance on me back then,
it changed a lot for our family.
Well, it wasn't that big of a chance.
You're a good mechanic.
A lousy husband and a hideous human being,
but a damn good mechanic.
Damn, she just wrote me a poem.
So, what're we doing? We got a shop again?
Yeah, he can come back.
Uh-uh. No, not like this.
We got to be equal now.
You You can't be firing me
every time I get you arrested.
Weirdly, that shows growth.
They did a good job
redoing Larry's porn shop.
I mean, I'm not happy it burned down,
but the coffee's on point.
Damn, it just got busy out there.
What's going on out there?
A water main broke.
The whole block's flooding.
The car repair shop
down the street's getting the worst of it.
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit!
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