The Virtues (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

1 Fucking knackered, mate.
Knackered.
I was up five times last night.
Bottle-feeding.
Cos she won't do it.
She's too posh to Too posh to do it, mate.
Five weeks now, six weeks nearly, and I'm up about four, five times breast-feeding at night.
She's taking she's taking loans, man.
Shit loads.
She might have to kill me, I'm telling you.
She's doing my f bastard head in.
RADIO: without the hassle.
Hallam FM.
I'll drop you round here.
Don't be late tomorrow, mate.
Eight o'clock sharp, yeah? Yeah.
- All right, fella.
- See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow, yeah.
[SIREN.]
[MUSIC BLARES THROUGH THE WALLS.]
[HE CRIES.]
[KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
How are you, mate? All right? Come on in.
Wow.
Smells good, doesn't it? I'll take that.
Look at that.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Looks gorgeous, doesn't it? - Shall we start, yeah.
- Yeah, start.
- Do you want a bit of rice? - Erm, yes, please.
- Do you want some plantain? - Yeah.
Thanks, darling.
Right, young man.
Salad.
Just a little bit.
There you go.
Mm.
- Nice, isn't it? - Mm.
Delicious.
- Yeah? - Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Oh, yeah, it's tasty.
Want me to You have plate of leaves there! - Let's lose some of that.
- He needs to eat them though.
No, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, but too much.
He's got a forest on his plate.
Lovely this.
Thank you.
So how's work? - Yeah, it's good.
- Yeah? - Yeah, going well.
- Good.
- You still working with Rich? - Yeah.
Well, quite a bit on at the minute.
Yeah, a couple of houses and that to do.
- Yeah, it's good.
Really good.
- How is the money? - Yeah.
- Paying you all right? Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, really good.
Yeah.
I don't know if I'd want to do that myself, like, do you know what I mean, run my own company and that.
All them tax returns and everything.
Yeah, it's going well, we've got a lot on.
How's everything going with yous? Have yous found a place yet? We're We're looking at two apartments, aren't we? So we're just deciding.
But I think the most important thing is the schools.
We found a couple that are really good, haven't we? - Yeah.
- We just need to go.
I think I've kind of picked my one already but, like, it depends how it is, like, all around education.
- Yeah.
- Stuff like that.
It's not really how it looks.
Yeah, he's doing really well at school, aren't you, so we want to make sure that that continues when we get out there.
There's consortium schools and they're decent.
One was a little bit posh, but - There's nothing wrong with posh.
- No, no, I'm just saying.
You know, it would be nice to send him somewhere where he sees kids like himself, but educationally it was really good, wasn't it? So I think he'll probably be going there.
And then at weekends, what have you got planned? Surfing.
Well, I'm going to try! You pinky promised, so you can't turn it down.
- That will be amazing, that, won't it? - Yeah.
- Hey? - It's going to be nice moving there, but I'm still really going to miss Sheffield.
- Sorry.
- It's all right, mate.
We'll definitely get you out there, mate, when we get settled - and stuff, you know.
- Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, no, it'll be lovely.
It'll be great, you'll have a lovely time.
It'll be fantastic, it really will.
Sorry.
Sorry, everyone.
I said I wouldn't do this.
Cheers, anyway.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Here's to Here's to a bright future.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
- Are you all right, champ? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Are you excited? - Yeah, really excited.
A little bit nervous? Yeah, you're bound to be a little nervous, aren't you? It's a long way, isn't it? 24 hours in that big metal bird in the sky.
Yeah.
You'll be okay though, won't you? - Yeah? - Yeah.
You will, you'll be good.
Listen, I was thinking, you know because I'm not going to be there, if you want to, I mean, it's up to you, but I don't mind, if you, you know, if you wanted to call David Dad.
But you're Dad.
Yeah, I know, I know, and I'll always be Dad.
I am Dad.
But just if you if you want to call David Dad then that's OK with me.
Do you know what I mean? I understand, because he's good to you, isn't he? Yeah.
And you know Vera, from Liverpool, remember when I took you to Liverpool? Well, I call her Mum, don't I? - Yeah.
- But she's not my real mum.
Do you know what I mean? You're so brave.
I remember when I was about your age, when I was nine, that's when I first went to Liverpool.
It was hard at first, you know what I mean? They all spoke different and spoke funny with them silly little accents but you just, you get used to it.
And you, all them lovely blonde little Australian girls are going to be all over you.
You'll get new mates because you're brilliant at footy.
Aren't you? And Australians can't really play footy, not like you.
It'll be exciting.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
And we can keep in touch, can't we? - We can use the computer - Yeah.
And the Face Lord thing, the Skype Lordy The Skype, what is it, what's it called? - First you do it on the iPad.
- Yeah And second, okay, it's called Skype.
- Skype.
Not Skype Lord.
- Not Skype Lord.
Okay? - On Skype.
- Now don't say that.
- Don't say Skype Lord? - Ever, okay? - Don't say Skype Lord ever again.
- Especially not in front of my friends.
Oh, I can't say it in front of your friends? No.
All your friends are going to Skype you, aren't they? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
They'll Skype you.
So we will, we'll Skype regularly, yeah? We will Skype regularly.
Why can't you come? Well It's because David's going with you, isn't he? David with your mum.
I wish I could come.
I really wish I could come.
But things have changed now.
You know, you've got David now, haven't you, you've got your mum.
You'll always have me.
Do you know what I mean? I'm your dad.
You'll always have me.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, come here, come here.
Come here, come here, come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Okay? It'll be okay.
Be brave, yeah? It's okay.
Shh, it's okay.
How was he? He's a bit confused.
Why, what did you say to him? He He asked me why I wasn't going with you.
And what did you say? I told him, you know, you've You've got a different life now, haven't you? Good.
You know it's the right thing to do, don't you? Yeah.
For all of us.
Look, I know it's too late.
Erm What I say doesn't really count for anything.
But you have my blessing.
It means a lot.
You're going to be all right.
It's me you're talking to.
Are you sure? You're not going to No.
No, I'll be fine.
Look, I'd better erm Better get back in.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
Come here.
[HE CRIES.]
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Bye, then.
Okay.
Erm can you make sure he FaceTimes me tomorrow? Of course.
- I promise.
- Okay.
Are you sure you're going to be all right? Yeah.
Yeah, I will be.
I'll be fine, yeah.
Yeah, I'll be OK.
Okay.
[HE BURPS LOUDLY.]
Excuse me, sorry.
Could you throw us another half in here, please, mate? Got a bit of a thirst on? - Yeah, busy, busy day - Oh, really? Long day.
- Cheers.
- Cheers, mate, thank you.
Oh, sorry! Cheers, thanks so much.
[HE BURPS AGAIN.]
Nice one, mate, that was lovely, that.
Erm Give us a, give us a double, give us a vodka, eh, please, boss.
Double vodka.
Nice little boozer, this is? Yeah, yeah, we've had it a couple of years now.
- £3.
80.
- Tell you what, put another one in if you could top that up again.
- You want another double? - Yeah, yeah.
Put another double on there, yeah.
Yeah, ta.
- You all right? - How are you doing, brother? Good, aye, not too bad.
Do you mind if I.
.
? I don't want to sit over there on me own like a spanner.
Sit down! Cheers, lads.
We're just discussing her feet.
Feet, well, women's shoes.
So what? - Joseph.
- Joseph, I'm Craig.
Craig, nice to meet you.
What's your name, boss? - I'm Alan.
- Alan, Joseph, nice to meet you.
- And you're, you, love? - Louise.
Louise, nice to meet you, Louise.
- I'll get yous a round.
Want a bevvy? - Yeah, yeah.
- No, I'll get - What you want, Al? No, I'll get it, I'll get one, you get the next one.
- Yeah, what do you want? - Three Newcastles.
What do you want? - Vodka and lemonade, please.
- Vodka lemonade.
Frank, can I have three Newcy Browns, please? - Yeah, sweet.
- Two Vodka Lynn? Lynn, was that a vodka and lemonade? - Please.
- And two vodka lemonades, please.
You've met Alan, then? - Yeah, yeah, good boys, aren't they? - Sound, yeah.
Yeah.
A right local in here.
Yeah, it's a good little boozer, all right.
Yeah, it's fucking banging, innit? Great.
Great.
I'll just leave my jacket here, yeah? - All right if I have one myself? - Mmm! Throw another one in that, as well, for me.
I'll have one, I'll have a voddy and coke with these two.
- Here you are, there you go.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
- That's you all right? Usually a half a Carling kind of girl, but seeing as you're buying, I'll have a vodka.
Good girl, good girl.
Nice one, nice one, nice to meet yous, anyway.
Nice one.
Surprised you could I'm fucking, I haven't even got my own drink.
[THEY LAUGH.]
Didn't get my own drink! Fucking dickhead.
Oh! You all right? - There you go, sir.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
Thanks very much.
Thank you.
Here you are, mate.
Here you are, mate.
That's you, innit, yeah? - That's you, lad.
- Oh, sweet.
That's all right.
- You good, yeah? - I am.
Fucking hell.
Is this your Mrs? No? She is.
- This your Mrs.
Oh, very lovely missus.
- Sadly.
Where's your fella? Erm Oh! Oh! [THEY LAUGH.]
All right! - Come here, come and sit down.
- Come here.
Come and sit down.
It's my new Mrs.
It's my new missus.
Our lass.
- Our lass.
- Where am I? You look lovely.
I don't know what happened then.
- No.
No, just slipped out, did it? - Oi, oi! Fucking door.
I have to get that fucking sorted.
- I'm trying.
- Have you tried to put the thing in it? Right, can anyone sing? - Can any of yous lot sing? - I can't.
No.
- No.
- No.
- I bet you can sing.
- I can! - Can you? - Yeah.
Come on, then.
Can you sing? Yes, you can, yes, you can.
All right let's shush, shush.
Shush, shush.
- Let's have it nice, come on.
- Come on, Misha.
You'll be on my mind I grow fonder every day Lose myself in time [CHATTER STARTS, HE SHUSHES THEM.]
Dare you to let me be Your one and only Promise I'm worth it To hold in your arms So come on and give me a chance Until the end starts Bye! [THEY CHEER.]
Amazing.
- Can I get another shot for that? - Another shot for that.
There you go, that one there.
- There you go, love.
- Thank you.
Here's the doctor with the medicine.
One for you, lads.
Take one of them.
Take one of them.
Help yourself.
Sambuca's there.
Thank you very much, John.
- Toffee vodka? - Settle up at the end, yeah? Yeah, yeah, deffo, yeah, yeah, no problem, yeah.
Fuck off, yeah! Fucking hell.
What was in that? That's horrible.
Fucking hell.
[HE SNORTS.]
[HE COUGHS.]
Don't want to keep on going on about this money for the, for the bill, you owe, for all of the drinks and that you keep on ordering without paying.
No, I've got it, Joe.
Yeah, I know, but I don't know you, mate.
You come into my pub.
Everyone is having a great night.
Yeah.
You're coming in here, and you're rebelling everyone up, and then, I don't know you from Adam, you could bolt out.
That's all I'm saying, mate.
You can see where I'm coming from.
- I'm running a business.
- I get you, yeah.
You've just come in here out of the blue.
- I get you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah? I don't want to be the dickhead, all right? Yeah, I'll settle up just let me have a, - I'll have a piss, and I'll settle up.
- Yeah, all right, mate.
I'll settle up.
[DRYER TURNS ON.]
Fucking hell.
Give us a one-er.
We'll call it one.
You've had a good night, yeah? Yeah, but, it wasn't 100 quid, though, was it? Mate, you've had shot after shot.
- I don't want all of your money.
- I'm all right, I'm okay, I've got, yeah, have this fucking 20 quid there, as well, Frank.
- All right, mate, cool.
Thank you.
- You're being a bit out of order, though, aren't you? Lads, lads, have I been - out of order tonight? - No! No! Have been out of order? He's made me look a twat, there.
Frank, come on, fucking hell.
Apologising to him? Oh! Oh! - You all right? - Get him up.
Get him up.
You all right? See you later, mate.
Oh, my God.
Help me.
Something to eat.
See, I'm okay now, lads.
Look, I'm good.
Yeah? Look, goodnight, God bless.
I'm sweet.
- Are you sure? - I'm fucking tip-top Don't you drive.
Watch the roads and that, watch the roads and that.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
All right, boys, I had a fucking brilliant time.
See you again, Joe.
See you again.
Blue here? Wow.
It is blue.
[INDISTINCT.]
What's happening in here? Cheers, mate.
Fucking hell.
I only want one more drink.
I only want one more drink.
All the fuss! Fucking hell.
You all right, mate? Yeah, he's good When Jesus says, come to me, regardless of class, regardless of gender, disability, sexuality, he means anyone.
Where do you get a kebab? I want a kebab.
Oh, automobile.
- Oh, motorbike.
- Sometimes we filled with despair.
We think God has cursed us.
Jesus says, come to me and I will forgive you of all of your sins.
All right, mate? Can I have a kebab? All the things that you've done.
All the things that you've done to people, I will forgive you.
And when you come to me, this is what I will give you instead.
- Yeah! - Jesus talks about the virtues.
- He talks about forgiveness.
- Yeah, the virtues, exactly, - the virtues of what? - Yes, he talks about forgiveness.
- Forgiving what? Forgiving what sins? - Forgive you of all you've done.
Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride.
- Right? - All of them.
Chastity.
Abstinence.
Every single one of them.
What God? What is God? What is God? - God is a spirit.
- He's a spirit? I figured that.
Doesn't mean Absolutely not.
- Does it? Does it? - Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
No.
So we agree! One of the things that we all need is peace.
And God can give us peace in our life.
- And don't we need peace in our lives? - Peace, that's all you want, peace, innit? We want peace.
Give him a chance.
Give him a chance in your life.
He'll never turn you away.
Regardless of what you've done.
- He will always be there for you.
- Not yet, not yet, not now.
- I can't now.
- Okay, no problem.
- No problem at all.
- Not ready for that yet.
- No problem at all.
- I can't do that yet.
God loves you.
- He loves you unconditionally.
- I know.
- He loves you.
- Not now, though.
- Okay.
- No, no, can't, not now, not right now, not right now.
Joe.
Joe, it's me, mate.
Joe.
Joe, mate, I can hear your phone.
If you're there will you just shout? Joe! [HE KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
Fucking hell.
Joe! [HE MAKES SMALL CHOKING SOUND.]
No, fuck.
[HE COUGHS.]
[HE GROANS.]
[HE BURPS LOUDLY.]
[HE WRETCHES.]
Fucking hell.
[HE SOBS.]
[HE SNIFFS.]
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Thank you.
[PHONE RINGS.]
- Have a nice trip.
- Cheers.
All right, mate, can I have a single for the ferry to Belfast, please.
Oh, you're too late for that one, I'm afraid.
What do you mean? It's only half 11.
No, it's 11:35 and I can't sell you a ticket unless there's a full hour till the departure.
Sorry.
That doesn't make sense, you just served the fella's little kid.
Yes, it did, see when I logged on for his ticket, it was only 11:28.
Yeah, but it's not really my fault, is it? The queue is massive, mate.
I've been stood in the queue for I've been stood in the queue - for the past 20 minutes.
- I understand.
Yes, I understand.
You see, the computer won't print off a ticket after 11:30, I'm sorry.
Have yous got tickets? - No, I haven't.
- No.
So they're the same as me then, aren't? - I'll deal with them.
- It's not our fault.
- I'll deal with these people - The queue was massive, mate.
Well, I'm very, very sorry, there's nothing I can do about that.
I don't make the rules.
There you go.
- All right, well, when's the next one? - 10:30.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
That's 11 hours.
Give or take.
All right, let's start this again, shall we? Let's have another go.
Can I please have a foot passenger ticket for the - 10:30 - tonight, to Belfast? No.
Why not? Because there are no foot passenger tickets left for the 10:30.
Why did you just you just told me that I can have a ticket for that ferry tonight.
If you just listen to me.
- Just listen to me for one second.
- That doesn't make sense.
You can have a ticket, but the only ones left are the deluxe cabin with parking, and that will cost you £126.
126 quid? £126, but it's a deluxe cabin.
But that ferry's standing there now and I can't get on that ferry? I'm very sorry.
I can't sell you a ticket after 11:30.
Yeah, I Why can't I just have one for the 28 quid? I don't get it! I don't know what you're on about.
Because there are none available, no foot passenger tickets are available on the 10:30.
If you want to travel to Belfast tonight you'll have to pay £126 and take a deluxe cabin with parking, obviously, you don't need the parking.
- Okay.
- Okay? Yeah, sweet.
- I've only got 130 quid.
- You can afford it then.
That leaves me with four quid then.
Yeah, certainly does.
The last four quid to my name, I've got to get all the way down to southern Ireland, but Sam's not really bothered - bothered about that, are you, Sam? - £4, there you go, mate, and there's your ticket, - have a lovely trip.
- Thank you, Sam.
I'm sure you'll enjoy the cabin.
Yeah, I will, thank you very much, Sam.
- All the best.
- God bless, Sam, God bless.
- Hope your mother loves you.
- She does.
Yeah, good, because I fucking don't.
Thank you.
[SKYPE TONE RINGS.]
Look, where the hell have you been? I've been trying to call you! Sorry, really sorry.
I saw all your missed calls before, from this morning.
- I'm - We're in the departure lounge.
I've been the hospital all morning.
What do you mean? What do you mean, hospital? I had a little I fell off I fell off the ladder at work.
Okay, look, Doug wants to speak to you.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hello, son.
Are you okay, sunshine? - How are you? - I'm good, I'm okay.
I'm sorry I didn't call you this morning, son, but I saw all your missed calls.
I've been in a hospital all morning, you see.
I had a little bit of an accident at work.
It's OK, I'm fine, I'm fine, we were painting the outside of the house and that, and the ladders there, it's been raining here, so the ladders kind of slipped a little bit.
I've just hit my head.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine, look, you can see it there.
See it? See that bit there? It's only a little scrape.
I just scraped it, but I've had to have an X-ray and that I've had to have an X-ray in the hospital and stuff, so And that's come out okay? Yeah, just waiting for them to come now, just waiting for the X-rays, the results to come back.
We're going to have to go through, so I'm just going to give - the phone to Shea for a bit.
- Okay.
You can see No, I'm really sorry, you three.
Honest to God, I'm so sorry, but you know, I kind of, I can't have - the phone in the hospital, can I, son? - Dad, dad! Dad, it's okay.
Okay, thanks, thank you, son.
You know I would have called you if I could, didn't you? - Hey? - Yeah, you would.
Yeah, you okay, Shea? Yeah, I'm a bit nervous about going to Australia and maybe not seeing you.
Oh, come on, you'll be okay, we spoke about this, didn't we? Yeah.
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
As soon as you get there, I want you to do the Skype Lord stuff to me, yeah? It's not Skype Lord! I know, it's Skype, I know, it's Skype.
Yeah, it's Skype.
I know, I know.
I know.
I'll definitely do it when I'm out there.
Look, we're gonna have to go.
I'm sorry, we're going to have to cut it short.
Okay, look, and I'm really sorry, you three, I'm really sorry that I didn't - answer the phone.
- That's okay.
No, I just want your mum to know how sorry I am, I'm really sorry, okay? But you know what they say, where there's blame, there's a claim and all that, isn't there? - Yeah, of course.
- I can wish to give me some money, can't I? Yeah, you know.
- You know - I have to go.
Okay.
All right, I love you so much, sunshine.
Right, I'll see yous, Facetime me.
All right, you take care.
Skype me again, yeah? - All right, yeah.
Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
[PHONE BEEPS.]
[CHILD SQUEALS.]
[HE SIGHS.]
[CHILD SCREAMS PLAYFULLY.]
It is said That you cannot be found Under rocks of broken skull I will lay down I will lay down I can be found Beneath the rose Beneath the rose Alone Safe to say That I'll never be found Broken bones holding loose You will be crowned You will be crowned Queen of all You have found You have found Alone It is said That you cannot be found Under rocks of broken skull I will lay down I will lay down I can be found Beneath the rose Beneath the rose Alone [SHIP'S HORN BLOWS.]