The War Next-Door (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

The Rich Cry Too

When you buy some lipstick from me
you'll also get a nice board game
for your whole family.

Oh, I also have adult stuff, toys.

Holy fuck!
Bad boy! Hold on.

You should be looking forward
instead of spying on your passengers
through this huge mirror.

See? This is what happens with UberX.

- Let's go.

- Go where? No, wait
[truck horn blares.]


[tires screech.]

- No! Where are you going?
- Let go of my bag.
This is my bag!
- Pay for my door!
- Let go of my bag!
- It's a Balenciaga! What's wrong with you?
- I don't care about your bag.

- Let me go!
- Pay for my door.
- Hey! Wait! [grunts.]

- [woman.]
You stole my Balenciaga!
Get out of my car, you punk! Get out!
[young man.]
Silvia! Silvia!
What is this?
- [cars honking.]

- [sighs.]

Fucking woman!
- Buns with pico de gallo?
- Ah.

I know, Mom.

I told him to make something better
so I could post on Instagram, but no.

You serious? What are we celebrating?

Dad got laid off at work today.

- No way, Genaro!
- [sighs.]

Today, in my Uber, my door was ripped off
because of this stupid rich woman.

- What?
- You all right?

- No!
- What?
Uncle was gonna teach me
to drive this weekend.

Ah, don't worry about it.

Look, I can borrow a car for a few hours.

- Isn't that why you went to jail, Tomás?
- He only borrowed it for a few hours.

Stop defending him, Mom.

How are we gonna pay
for Jani's First Communion?
That's not a problem.

I don't even want it.

Don't say that, Jani,
or you'll go to Hell.

Don't worry, honey.

The good news is Charito from HR
told me that they're opening
a new branch close to here.

- Mm.

- She talked to the manager.

- I have an interview on Friday.

- I think she has a crush on you, Genarito.

- Oh, no, Mom, no way.

- [Tomás chuckles.]

Smarten up, sweetheart, hmm?
Or he will get stolen.

If they steal him,
they will have to reimburse
what I have invested in him.

[all laughing.]

- [Grandma.]
Don't be like that, Leonor.

- What's this?
[smacks lips.]
This was in exchange
for some anti-wrinkle cream.

It's a raffle ticket
for a brand new fancy house tomorrow.

- What?
- [Tomás.]
Wait, really, this isn't for a house.

It's for a mansion.

Look! There's no way we'll win.

- Hey! Stop.
Quit that!
- Ow!
- [Tomás.]
You're so negative.
- [boy.]
I was kidding.

I can say goodbye
to sleeping in my parents' bedroom.

Say goodbye
to sleeping with your siblings too.

- [all laugh.]

- Let me see.

Look, you know that what I want the most
is to give you a house like this one,
and so much more stuff,
but that takes a lot of hard work.
- This is for you.

- Oh.

- Oh.

- Mm.

When is your interview
for that job at the new branch?
- On Thursday, my love.

- [all.]
On Friday!
- [indistinct chattering.]

- [keys clicking.]

Let's see.


No way!
Ooh! No way!

No way! No way!

Now you have the keys
to your new mansion, Mrs.

Tell us, beautiful, what does it feel like
to win a million-dollar mansion
for your beautiful family?
It's really
- [strained.]
Uh, feels really good.

- Show more emotion.

- It feels so good!
- Cut!
- One more.
- How about a family cheer?
- [Tomás.]

- [others.]
- Let's do it!
- [all.]
Yes, sir! [chuckles.]

[uplifting music playing.]

" "Welcome to our house.
" [giggles.]

Yo! Ooh! Hey!
Hey, hey, hey! Stop recording.

This is my house, okay? [growls.]

Congratulate me.
[smacks lips.]

I just got confirmation that the Hars
will come to the event for Jenshi Palhor.

- I never received the e-vite.

- [Silvia sighs.]

No, I'm sure you did.

We even did a cleanse for a week.

Oh, and one more thing.

The Caras magazine will cover the event.

- Guess who'll be on the cover?
- No! [gasps.]

Mom! Finally!
- Yes!
- Yes!
- A dude from the Academy was on the cover.

- Oh, was he
All my dreams are about to come true.

- Namaste.

- [husband chuckles.]

- [cumbia music playing.]

- [crowd cheering.]

What is this?
I think they are the raffle winners.

- Shut up.
Let me see.

- Yes.
They finally moved in.

[Silvia sighs.]


- Come on, let's go.

- But why?

What's with the lame dance?
If I won a house,
I wouldn't dance like that.

Honey, just be grateful
you don't need to buy a raffle ticket
to win a nice house like that.

Hmm, good point, Mom.

- [boy.]
Let's keep going.
Come this way.

- [whooping.]

Come on.

Oh, no! Why?
- [boy.]
- [exploding.]

This is the worst.

I'm going to tell them
not to litter in the street.

Oh, hey, I'm gettin' a call.

I will see you later.

- Oh, yeah, I am too.

- No, no, no.
Come on.
Right now.

- Ugh! No, Mom, this is stupid.

- Excuse me.
Hello, hey.

["El Amor de Mi Vida"
by Manu Negrete playing.]

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, yeah.
Get it.

[Tomás laughs.]

- Oh, stop it!
- Hey, there.

Excuse me, uh, this is a private street,
so you can't leave this mess here.

So please [gasps.]

- You?
- You?
You live here?
Of course, I do.

Which house are you working for?
Oh, I'm so glad you're so funny
because we are going to be neighbors.

- I'm the new owner of this house here.

- Oh! [chuckles.]

You don't say.

You're not planning on selling it?
The rules of the raffle say
that we have to live here
for at least six months.

Yes? But most people cheat that.

- I won't.

- No? [chuckles.]

- Who's that?
- This is my daughter.

She's so pretty.

She is gorgeous.
 You look like twins.

- That's nice.

- Be careful, honey.

You wouldn't want your mom
to steal your boyfriend.

- To steal your boyfriend! [laughs.]

- Funny.


- So funny, the new neighbors.

- You too.

Oh, okay, well, then
- Welcome.

- [Leonor.]
Aw, thanks.

Yes, thanks, neighbor.

Silvia Espinoza de los Montero.

[inhales sharply.]
Leonor Salcido de López.

Salcido, like the defense player
on the national team.



Mm, let's see.

- [whirring.]

- [giggles.]

[Genaro screaming.]


Good morning.

[Genaro screaming.]

- Ooh!
- [whirring.]


[screaming continues.]

Hey, my love, don't you think
our new neighbors are kind of creepy?
I don't know! I haven't met her!
Hey, how do you feel about throwing
Jani's First Communion party
here at the new house instead?
It's bigger than the party room
we were gonna rent.

- What do you think?
- [mumbling.]

Okay, great! So you contact
all of our guests and let them know,
and I will organize all the food.

- [mumbles.]

- So glad I asked.

[toilet flushes.]

[Silvia sighs.]
Did you see that?
They all showed up, their whole tribe.

Like Mennonites,
but browner.

- [dog whimpers.]

- I bet they are poor
Some very poor people
from a poor neighborhood.

- Poor, poor, poor, poor.

- [husband grunts, exhales.]

Oh, hey, Cat.

Do you know our new neighbors?
Oh, no, ma'am.
Why would I?
I live in a nice house.

That's very strange because
one of them looks like Cata's ex.

- Remember?
- Oh, no, Mom.

That dude was super creepy.

But didn't you ask him
to unblock your number?
Let's meditate in silence.

It's fine if we don't socialize
with them, you know?
That's impossible, Diego.

They might be eccentric billionaires
like the Trumps or Kahwagis, okay?
- Good point.

- [scoffs.]
Obviously not.

I can tell a cheap manicure
from a thousand miles away.

- So trust me.

- [husband exhales.]

Um, Mr.
from next door brought this over.

What the fuck? What is that?

"My First Communion.
- It's the same day as my event!
- Mm-hmm.

- No, obviously, we're not going.

- No, you're not going.

This invitation is for me,
but I'm not going either.

No, this is the work of
the devil himself.

We have to put
holy water on these.
That's it.

Do we really need to
give away little angels?

I don't know
if I want to take First Communion.

What do you mean? Come here.

This is a family tradition, my Jani.

Don't worry.
 You'll have a great time
at the party, my love.

Yes, Mama, but little angels?
Why not? We always give something away.

Yes, always, sure.

Don't you remember when we gave out
leather necklaces at Pablo's circumcision?
- Come on, Mom, don't remind me of that.

- [chuckles.]

I think Jani's right.

It feels like parties
are all about consumerism nowadays.

- [Genaro.]
Look, Jani.

- It's not consumerism.

This one came out
almost as pretty as you, my dear.
- [hums.]

- [Leonor.]
Here we go.

Hey, Mom! No, Mom! Wait!
You're gonna ruin the angels
and get them all smokey.

- [groans.]

- This big new house needs to be cleansed.

- [all.]
- A ghost opened my toilet this morning.

[all laughing.]

- What?
- [doorbell rings.]

- Mom! Please explain it to your grandma.

- What is it?
- Look, okay
- No, don't go! Don't go!
- Maybe it's the toilet ghost?
- [Jani.]
The toilet
- [Leonor.]
Stop it!
- I can tell you.

That's not true!
- Good evening.

- Hello?
The help just told me
I mean, my domestic aid told me
that you are going to be hosting
an event this Saturday?

- It's my daughter Janet's First Communion.

- Yeah.

But it's only for family.


No, thanks.

I wasn't asking to be invited.

The thing is, on Saturday,
we're having a ceremony
with a lama monk at my house.

Ah, great.

We can all have our snacks and our monks.

No, no, no, no, no! No.

I don't think you understand me.
Hold on.

- Let me explain it.

- Hmm.

In this neighborhood, we have rules, okay?
Because the neighbors are refined,
and we don't really like,
um, debauchery
- What makes you think I'm not refined?
- Oh, maybe you are.

I bet you make enough driving Uber
to go to Palacio de Hierro
and spend 10,000 pesos
to get one little ticket, no?
One single ticket for a house raffle.

I know because I got a lot.

Yes, right.

I'm very well known at Palacio.

Now, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna finish making little angels
for my daughter's party.

You should go do
whatever you have to do for yours,
and we will see
who throws the most refined party.

- [Silvia.]
- See you!
[grunts, inhales sharply.]


Nobody messes
with my girl's First Communion.
If you wanna cancel, it's fine with me.

- We are not canceling.

- Mom, maybe she does have a point.

Best thing when moving
to a new neighborhood
is to fly under the radar, isn't it?
Sure, this place must be full of Jews.

They don't have First Communion.

Oh, hold up! Hold up!
If you're gonna go and cancel it,
let me know because
I already invited some chicks.

- It'll be embarrassing
- What'll we do with the inflatable castle?
- Yeah, that too.

- And the canasta tacos?
Wait, wait!
We are not canceling this party for Jani
just because
that smug bitch doesn't like it.

- [Genaro.]

- Actually
And we won't allow anybody
to look down on us either,
because it is our right
to live here and do what we want.

- So if we want to party, we can party!
- [Tomás.]


That's right!
What's more, I'm excited.
So, hands in!
- [Tomás.]
Come on!
- [Grandma.]
Let's do it!

No, no, no.

I have to stop that party.

Please! My gosh!
I mean, who knows what kind
of people they've invited over there?
I'm not gonna risk
my family or my guests' safety.
 Come on!
What are you going to say?
It's their house.
You can't do anything.

What if they call you
"Lady First Communion" on Twitter?
My uncle still hasn't gotten rid of
that hashtag "Lord Ferrari.
Oh, yeah, you cannot expose yourself
like that, Chivis.

- Yeah, you're right.

- [husband sighs.]

I won't expose myself,
at least not on my own.

- All of you are gonna help me, okay?
- [scoffs.]

Because I worked really hard
to get this peace ceremony
to take place in my house.

I won't allow my guests
to have their mirrors stolen
off their nice cars.

No, sir!
- [loud music playing.]

- [Tomás over PA.]
Hello, hello!
Test, one, two, three, test, testing.

So, so sound, sound test.

Ló, Ló, López! Ha-ha!
This is a reminder for all the ladies here
who have received their First Communion
that this little devil here
has prepared for you
- the original
- [Leonor shouting.]
- sin, sin, sin, sin
- Turn it up! I can hardly hear it.

- Oh, turn it up? Yes, got it.

- [Leonor.]
Jani, can you hear it?
- [shouting.]
It could be louder.

- Look, Jani! A surprise for you, my dear.

Look, a zebra, a zebra
for your guests to take pictures with.

Genaro, how beautiful!
Dad, that's a donkey,
and they are on the brink of extinction.

No one should be allowed to sit on it.

It's already ridiculous
enough disguised as a zebra.

Animals have rights too.

- [boy.]
Something's happening.

- [castle hissing.]

- [Grandma whines.]
Oh, no!
- Did we just lose power?
I thought that only happened
in our old neighborhood.

- Watch out!
- [Jani.]
Come on.
I'll take you for a walk.

Maybe a breaker went out.

- [Silvia.]
- Got it! Yes, yes! This is the last one.

- They won't be able to get power today.

- Okay, very good.

I got such a rush, like when I beat
that GoldenEye video game.

- James Bond.
[inhales sharply.]

- Okay.

How about you play
the role of the Ukrainian agent
who sways her ass over to Bond
while he deactivates the bomb.

What's wrong with you? Are you kidding me?
My guests are getting here soon.

Can we please leave now? Shoo!
One more shot,
all of us together.


I can see it now.

"The Espinozas de los Montero
join the practices of light.

Divine! I love it.

But Ernesto is going to need
Photoshopping on his double chin.

[Ernesto grunts.]

Hey, go check
on what the neighbors are doing, okay?
Come! Let's go take pictures over there.

This is war, kids.

We have been attacked
by the enemy, and we won't allow it.

Do you really think
kidnapping a Buddhist monk is okay?
Of course! That way
they get the message loud and clear.

And what if we get caught?
I know I won't survive
in jail like Uncle Tomás.

- Hey!
- Then don't let them catch you.

How can I do this to the woman
that will make me famous on Instagram?
You never look at the big picture,

This is just what you need, okay?
If there is no monk, there is no party.

A chick like her cannot afford
to not have a party
to go to on a Saturday night.

- Do you get it?
- Ah.

So what party
is she gonna have to go to, eh?
Oh, you are a genius, Uncle!
Oh, damn it!
Hey, check this out.
These things?
Use them to impress the girls.

Two of the angel heads?
Oh, yes, you put 'em between your legs.

They'll help to make your package
look really think and full, you see?
- You look like you're part of the family.

- [car horn honks.]

[car engine splutters.]

Oh, that's gotta be the monk, yeah?
Uh But isn't this party
supposed to be for rich people?
Eh [clicks tongue.]

You know, Pablo, religious people
trick you with cars like that.

Hey, hello! Hello.

Hey, uh, so the thing is the, uh
ceremony is delayed,
but, uh, come this this this way.

This this way.

We'll get you a drink,
tequila, from Mexico.

De-licious, yeah?
Hey! Why'd you do that?
I was only defending myself
from your clear harassment.

I'll sue you
if you don't pay for my drone.

Sue me?
Tell your parents
they'll lose more than a toy
next time they cut off our power.

- She said that?
- Mm-hmm.

They don't know
what Silvia Espinoza de los Montero
is capable of doing for her family.

They'll see.

- [Leonor.]

- Mm-hmm?
Is the priest here yet?
If he doesn't hear my confession,
I won't be able to take Communion.

- I'll call him.

- Okay.

- Hey, love?
- Hmm?
Did you invite them?
No, they're Tomás' friends from jail,
but they're very religious.

Are you also using the swimming pool
to wash our clothes?
- [Leonor.]
- Look.

Oh boy!
- What happened, my love?
- They poured this in the system.

Who would waste detergent like this?
- The expensive kind, too.

- This blond bitch is gonna hear from me.

What did you do?
You left the container!
[camera shutter clicking.]


Hi, darling.
 We're Tomás' guests.

Where's the party?
I am so glad you're here, girls!
We're expecting you.

Come this way.
It's over here.


- Om.
Shanti, shanti, shanti, Om.

- [others.]

[inhales deeply.]

[loud festive music playing.]

- [woman.]
We have arrived at the party!
- What is this?
- I have no idea.

- Hey, hey, hey!
- Cata!
- Hey! Hey!
- Ladies! Excuse me!
- What's happening?
No, no, sorry! Sorry!
Who are you? Who invited you?
- [women whooping.]

- [Silvia.]
You are at the wrong party.

- Hey, hold on.

- [donkey braying.]

- [Ernesto.]
This is the wrong party.

- [screams.]

What's that? Shoo! Shoo!
Shoo! Shoo-shoo-shoo! Shoo!
No, no! Hold on!
No! Don't take any more photos, please!
- No! Come on!
- Go, go!
Ernesto, please, do something,
or we'll be the laughing stock of Mexico.

- Yes.

- Oh, God, my love.
Hide me.
Do something.

- This is a disaster!
- Come help!
- I'm not doing a conga line.

- I will, one hundred percent!
Let's go, brunette ladies in black!
Let's go, fiery brunettes! Hey! Hey!
- Come on, join us!
- [Silvia screams.]

Great! We're having a great time!

- [music playing in distance.]

- [whistling.]

Oh, Uncle, what are those?
Hey, what's up, Pablito?
I just prepared
a little surprise for Jani.

These are authentic fireworks
from Disneyland.

[phone chimes.]

I haven't been,
but that's what they told me.

- What? No way.

- What?
There's a party at Crista's house.

What do you mean, "There's a party.
Hold on.
I don't get this, Pablito.

Which lama monk did we kidnap?
Obviously, the wrong lama monk!
- [cheering.]

- What now?
- Hey, what are the blondes doing here?
- No way!
- Irina! Look at Irina! I didn't know
- Excuse me.

- I didn't know she could dance like
- Please, excuse me.
Come here.

Why did you bring the conga line
all the way over here?
Why, Ernesto? You're ruining this party.

Do you understand that?
You told me
to do something about it, Chivis.

I mean, you always see
the negative side of things.

Just take a moment
and enjoy [inhales sharply.]

- Live!
- Yes, yes, sure, like Beatriz?
Yes? Who died enjoying her last Botox?

I'm tired of you
comparing me to your ex.
 I'm up to here.

Look, yeah? Up to here.

It's not fair.


What's up? I'm glad you decided
to come and bring all your guests.

The monks were really boring.

- Your party is way better than ours.

- Yes.

- Is it a problem?
- No.

- We can leave if you
- No, don't worry.

I just thought that blond bitch I mean,
your wife, didn't like debauchery.

- Yes.
I mean no.

- Yes? No?
But I like 'em.

- Oh, great.
Well, have fun.

- Thanks.
Yeah, shit, sorry
- To the monk.

- Ah, the monk!
Make yourself at home.

[breathing heavily.]

No way!
Ah, no!
We were drinking so slowly.

What's this?
No! No, no, wait! This is the priest!
Are you sure you invited our guests?
Only Tomás' guests have arrived,
and they are very drunk.

- Let me double-check.

- Uh-huh.

- Oh, fuck!
- What?
I have about 50 WhatsApps
from my buddy asking where we are.

You forgot to send them our new address.

God, I need to text them.

What's up, my Geni? What a great party!
- Hello, Charito.

- Check me out.
Check me out.

Charito, this is my wife, Leonor.

Leonor, Charito from HR at the bank.

- Hello, Leo, a pleasure.

- Mm.
A pleasure.

Geni, you didn't go
to the interview on Friday.

Hey, Charito, look over there.

We got tacos and snacks.

Go check them out.

Live it up.
It's your party.
Thank you.

She asked me earlier for the location.

[clicks tongue.]

Oh, yeah? So great.
So great.

You didn't go to the interview.

Very nice, Genaro.

Why do you want me to work at the bank?
I'll make a lot of contacts here,
in this new neighborhood.

And how are we gonna pay
for the upkeep of this house?
And I still own the car.

Look, look, I'll find a way
to make a good business deal, my love.

Money begets money.

You know, I really thought moving here
was what was best for our family,
but I'm not so sure anymore
[imitating Charito.]

Leo, my love.
Let me explain.

Father, what happened to you?
Father, are you dead?
- Is he drunk?
- [gasps.]

Oh, uh
No, uh
That's why
I don't trust the Catholic Church?
No, no.
Look, wait, Jani.

It It's not what it looks like.

You have to believe me.

The, uh, the
the priest asked me for a place, uh,
uh, uh, where he could rest
and he he he could
Uncle, is it bad if I don't believe?

Look, Jani,
getting your First Communion
is a family tradition.

And your parents are very excited
about throwing this party for you.

But believing God or not,
I think you'll find that out
when you get a bit older.

And right now, I think
you're still too young to really decide.

Do you believe?
Believing in something good
helped me when I was in jail.

I'm so glad
you're living here with us, Uncle.

Aw, me too, Jani.

Oh, hey, um,
the house your mom won
is really cool, isn't it? [sighs.]

We've got a really big yard now.

[clicks tongue.]
Your uncle is right, Jani.

[Tomás clears throat.]

[clicks tongue.]
You only have to do things
when you're absolutely certain.

I don't have to confess anything,
and no one is forcing you
to take your First Communion.

- [Tomás chuckles.]

- Hmm?
My beautiful girl.

- Thank you.

- No, it's nothing.

[inhales, kisses.]


- [whispering.]
Is the priest passed out?
- Yes, he's very drunk.

[festive music playing.]

Hey, Crista.

Or should I call you
Candy Crista like on your Insta?
[Pablo clears throat.]



- [music playing.]

- [guests cheering.]

[music continues in distance.]


- Huh.

- [phone chimes.]


Ernesto: Forgive me.


[music playing loudly.]

So you decided to show up after all.

Yeah, you wish.

The music is horrible,
and the pool is absolutely disgusting.

- It looks like a public beach.

- [gasps.]

And it's your fault I'm here
because you're a thief.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yes.

- What's wrong with you? You drunk?
- Of course not.

The ticket for this house was in the bag
you stole from me that day.

What? Of course not.

I got it from the Palacio.

Look, let me show you this.

It will clear up any doubts.

This video was recorded by Rober
while you stole
the ticket right from my bag.

What do you think of that?
So what? You don't know
that's the winning ticket.

It proves nothing.

Of course,
it's the winning ticket.

Well, hang on.

Rober and you kissing
each other, and much more.

- I have it on my Uber security camera.

- But but
[guests chanting.]

Jump in here! Jump in here!
- Jump in here!
- I'm not diving into that soapy pool!
You're so boring!
No way.

It's like a trampoline at a public park.


Give me my cell phone.


Give me my phone.

Give me your password.

Give me my cell phone.

- Give me the phone.

- No, your password.

- No, no, no.

- Give me your password.
No, stop it!
- Give it!
- Ah! Ah!
- Damn.

- [laughs.]

Don't light that up, Blondie.

These are Tultepec fireworks.

- They are loaded
- Stop!
Listen to me.
Until you leave
this house, I will not stop.

Because this house you're living in,
this house is mine.

Oh, yeah?
- Yes.
It is mine.

- Well, we'll see about that.

- I will not see!
- I think you'll be leaving first!
- [gasps.]
Fuck you!
- [gasps.]

[both screaming.]

[fireworks whistling, crackling.]


[shutter clicks.]


[fireworks exploding.]

[all cheering.]

Hey, that's my mom!
What the Did you see her jump in?
["El Dinero No Es La Vida" by Rubén Blades
and Ximena Sariñana playing.]

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