The Weekenders (2000) s02e04 Episode Script
Diary
Hola, Tino here.
So, if you ever wanted proof that Carver
and Lor and I are Tish's best friends,
here we are, making
the ultimate sacrifice.
We're helping her clean her room.
And if you don't think that
sounds like a sacrifice?
Take a look.
I don't think it's possible
to create a bigger mess
without using thermo-
nuclear weapons.
Tish, is this trash?
My solar system model!
I was the only one in third grade who had
the right number of moons for Saturn.
Trash.
No way, I couldn't part with that!
That's what you said about your scrapbook
of school lunch menus.
Yeah, and a sugar cube igloo.
Tish, you gotta get rid of something.
How about we start with this box?
But I can't throw it away.
Just take it down to the basement.
Easy for you to say.
It's like a ton of books in here.
Oh, man.
Tish's diary?
Good thing this didn't
accidentally fall open
because then I might
accidentally read some of it.
Oops!
Papa says I must tell no one.
I must be strong.
But I cried all night
when he told me that
No way!
What's that noise?
Nothin'!
Dropped a box!
.. and just picked up the books.
Bye.
Seriously, thank you guys so much
for helping me clean my room.
You're welc --
It was our pleasure, Tish.
We'd do anything for you.
It is so great to have a friend who's into
art and cool stuff like you.
And it was so much fun helping you clean
your room because, well, you know.. !
It was like
fun!
Fun?
Did you actually say
cleaning her room was fun?
Are you running a fever?
Guys, I gotta tell
you, I
I saw Tish's diary,
but it was an accident.
Well, not really, but that's my story if anybody asks.
You saw it,
or read it?
Saw.
Mostly saw.
But just a little, you know.. read.
I can't believe you would do that.
That's like a total
violation of Tish's trust!
Okay, I can't stand it.
What'd it say?
Lor, Carver wouldn't make a bad situation
worse by telling us Tish's secrets
Unless they were really amazing secrets.
More than amazing.
Terrible!
Look, I know it was wrong to snoop, but
now that I've done it, you guys gotta know.
Tish and her family
are moving back
to the old country.
It's gotta be some kind of mistake.
Why would Tish's family move back to the
old country?
And why would her dad say
she couldn't tell anyone?
Maybe they're secretly the deposed
royal family of their homeland,
and they're returning
to rule once more,
ushering in a new age
of peace and prosperity.
Or, not.
Tish has her dulcimer lesson until 11.
I suggest we do a little investigative
work.
R-r-r-r-romeo and Juliet pizza!
Two bean or not two bean chili,
four r-r-r-r-rootbeers.
Pizza's a little undercooked.
Oh, that this too too solid cheese would melt!
Once more into the oven, dear friends!
Once more~!
Can you hear 'em?
Shh, they're saying something.
So many much to be taking care of.
Be relaxative.
Are still four of the days
for all doings to be done.
Four days?!
That means this is our last weekend with
Tish forever.
We have to make this a weekend
she'll remember for the rest of her life!
Yeah, we have to do tons of that artsy
stuff she likes.
No matter how excruciatingly painful it
may be.
Tish, what a surprise!
Surprise?
This is my house.
You're so funny. So we were talking
about fun things to do today,
and we thought maybe
we'd go to the Art Fair in the park.
You guys want to go to an art fair?
Are you sure you're not confusing
yourselves with someone else?
Ahhh.
Would that we were
swimming with the dolphins.
Would that this art were
swimming with the dolphins!
Quite profound, really.
A clown.
A character who lives for laughter.
Yet, he feels tremendous sorrow.
What do you think, Tish?
I think clown paintings were
banned by the Geneva Convention.
With such a range of expression,
using nothing but coconuts.
Now that's true artistry.
Have you ever seen anything like it,
Tish?
Yeah, last time I had the stomach flu,
my mom mopped it up.
Now can we get outta here?
And miss this wonderful cultural
experience?
No way.
You know, we probably
never would have learned
about great art if it
weren't for you, Tish.
We owe you so much.
Uhh
There, there.
But there's 68 more booths!
This particular kind of art is best
appreciated in small doses.
Really?
I thought you'd have wanted to get a whole
bunch out of the way at once.
No offense, but that "art show" is just a
bunch of cheap junk and knick-knacks.
How about we head over
to Funville for a little pool?
There's a play over in the Bahia Park
Theater that sounds really interesting!
Alright.
Let's go!
Hang on.
You guys want to see a play.
You guys wanna see a play.
You guys.. wanna see a play!
No, no matter how you say it, it just
sounds weird.
It's so great to do stuff with you,
Tish.
You're the best friend ever.
I had the dream again.
I dreamed that we were in the warehouse.
Have I awakened?
Let us play shuffleboard.
Have you noticed every time she asks a
question, they start playing shuffleboard?
Yes.
Like the game,
is the only answer.
What d'you think, Tish?
Tish?
Where have you been?
I left!
An hour ago.
You didn't like it?
I mean, it was so artsy and profound.
It was so boring.
You shoulda said somethin'.
Yeah, Tish,
you mean a lot to us,
and we wanted to give you
the best weekend ever.
Heyy, hey.
I didn't know the play
meant that much to you.
It's not the play.
It's because you and
your parents are
Time to go!
See ya tomorrow, Tish.
Tish!
Yeah?
You're so great.
Okay, get some rest.
France has given us
many great geniuses
such as Victor
Hugo, Louis Pasteur,
and Jean Paul Sartre.
France is also widely considered the
cultural center of Europe.
Perhaps we would be wise
to be more like the French,
and eat snails.
Dare you?
No.
Double dare you?
No.
Triple dare?
Quadjuple dare.
Guys, I'm not gonna eat it.
Curses!
She is too mighty for our dares.
I'd rather eat 10 snails than face another
day of Tish stuff.
Now we owe it to her
to make today really special.
I picked out some events from the paper.
There's a festival of short experimental
films.
Alright, 20 snails.
Look, T, she didn't like the art
show or the play that much.
You think maybe this time we got
to ask her what she wants to do?
Nah.
Listen to this.
She'll love this for sure.
The art museum has a show by a guy who
paints by sneezing stuff out of his nose.
30 snails!
Hey, guys.
How are you?
You look great, Tish.
We're so glad to see you.
Uh, hey.
We have some great stuff planned today,
Tish.
There's this really cool
trio who make avant-garde
jazz music by jingling the
change in their pockets.
40 snails, and that's my final offer.
Alright, what the heck is goin' on!?
We just want to make your last weekend
really special.
Last weekend?
What?
What's that supposed to mean?
I didn't say last weekend.
I said,
last week end.
Lor!
I couldn't think of anything.
If you guys don't tell me what's up,
I'm goin' home right now!
Tish.
We know what's goin' on.
You don't have to hide it from us.
What are you talking about?
I
I saw your diary.
My diary?
I didn't mean to.
Carver, how could you?
You're my friend.
I trusted you.
I'd eat 50 snails to make this all better.
Oddly enough, I don't think that'll help.
Go away.
I'm not here.
Tishy, your friends here for "apple cheese."
That's apologies.
In old country, door not even
allowed to be locked.
Then why would you want to go back?
Okay.
These have been enough time.
Open!
Alright.
Come in.
Tish.
Isn't it enough
you read my diary?
Did you have to tell everyone else, too?
Carver had to tell us.
Oh, I'm sure he did.
And you had to help him
keep it a secret from me.
You're the one who's keeping a secret!
We have a right to know if we're
never gonna see you again!
Tish, we know you're moving
back to the old country, okay?
I read it in your diary.
Moving back to the old country.
Where did you
Oh, no.
She's lost it.
Laughing through the tears.
I don't believe it, Carver.. !
You weren't reading my diary.
You were reading my novel.
It said "Diary" on the front.
'Cause that's the title!
"Diary"
Catchy, huh?
You mean you're not moving
back to the old country?
Are you nuts?
Why would anyone move back to a place
where you aren't allowed to lock your door?
But, we heard your mom and dad talking
about there only being four days left.
Until they start remodeling our kitchen.
Tish, I'm really sorry
I looked at your novel thing.
You should be!
What were you thinking?
That's one of the worst things you can do
to a person.
You completely violated my privacy.
On the other hand, what did you think of
my book?
Is it good?
Was the prose crisp and tight?
Well, I'll tell you this much.
It sure was convincing.
Did you like the shipwreck scene?
Did you?
Did you?
The part where Patrick
decries hermeticism
Okay.
I know Carver's snooping started the whole
thing.
I guess if we had asked Tish
what was up in the first place,
we wouldn't have blown
the whole weekend.
Man, I can't believe we went to something
called Happy Art is Fun.
Of course, I did like the
humorous coconut faces.
Especially this one!
Ah, okay.
Later days.
Didja see my lips move?
So, if you ever wanted proof that Carver
and Lor and I are Tish's best friends,
here we are, making
the ultimate sacrifice.
We're helping her clean her room.
And if you don't think that
sounds like a sacrifice?
Take a look.
I don't think it's possible
to create a bigger mess
without using thermo-
nuclear weapons.
Tish, is this trash?
My solar system model!
I was the only one in third grade who had
the right number of moons for Saturn.
Trash.
No way, I couldn't part with that!
That's what you said about your scrapbook
of school lunch menus.
Yeah, and a sugar cube igloo.
Tish, you gotta get rid of something.
How about we start with this box?
But I can't throw it away.
Just take it down to the basement.
Easy for you to say.
It's like a ton of books in here.
Oh, man.
Tish's diary?
Good thing this didn't
accidentally fall open
because then I might
accidentally read some of it.
Oops!
Papa says I must tell no one.
I must be strong.
But I cried all night
when he told me that
No way!
What's that noise?
Nothin'!
Dropped a box!
.. and just picked up the books.
Bye.
Seriously, thank you guys so much
for helping me clean my room.
You're welc --
It was our pleasure, Tish.
We'd do anything for you.
It is so great to have a friend who's into
art and cool stuff like you.
And it was so much fun helping you clean
your room because, well, you know.. !
It was like
fun!
Fun?
Did you actually say
cleaning her room was fun?
Are you running a fever?
Guys, I gotta tell
you, I
I saw Tish's diary,
but it was an accident.
Well, not really, but that's my story if anybody asks.
You saw it,
or read it?
Saw.
Mostly saw.
But just a little, you know.. read.
I can't believe you would do that.
That's like a total
violation of Tish's trust!
Okay, I can't stand it.
What'd it say?
Lor, Carver wouldn't make a bad situation
worse by telling us Tish's secrets
Unless they were really amazing secrets.
More than amazing.
Terrible!
Look, I know it was wrong to snoop, but
now that I've done it, you guys gotta know.
Tish and her family
are moving back
to the old country.
It's gotta be some kind of mistake.
Why would Tish's family move back to the
old country?
And why would her dad say
she couldn't tell anyone?
Maybe they're secretly the deposed
royal family of their homeland,
and they're returning
to rule once more,
ushering in a new age
of peace and prosperity.
Or, not.
Tish has her dulcimer lesson until 11.
I suggest we do a little investigative
work.
R-r-r-r-romeo and Juliet pizza!
Two bean or not two bean chili,
four r-r-r-r-rootbeers.
Pizza's a little undercooked.
Oh, that this too too solid cheese would melt!
Once more into the oven, dear friends!
Once more~!
Can you hear 'em?
Shh, they're saying something.
So many much to be taking care of.
Be relaxative.
Are still four of the days
for all doings to be done.
Four days?!
That means this is our last weekend with
Tish forever.
We have to make this a weekend
she'll remember for the rest of her life!
Yeah, we have to do tons of that artsy
stuff she likes.
No matter how excruciatingly painful it
may be.
Tish, what a surprise!
Surprise?
This is my house.
You're so funny. So we were talking
about fun things to do today,
and we thought maybe
we'd go to the Art Fair in the park.
You guys want to go to an art fair?
Are you sure you're not confusing
yourselves with someone else?
Ahhh.
Would that we were
swimming with the dolphins.
Would that this art were
swimming with the dolphins!
Quite profound, really.
A clown.
A character who lives for laughter.
Yet, he feels tremendous sorrow.
What do you think, Tish?
I think clown paintings were
banned by the Geneva Convention.
With such a range of expression,
using nothing but coconuts.
Now that's true artistry.
Have you ever seen anything like it,
Tish?
Yeah, last time I had the stomach flu,
my mom mopped it up.
Now can we get outta here?
And miss this wonderful cultural
experience?
No way.
You know, we probably
never would have learned
about great art if it
weren't for you, Tish.
We owe you so much.
Uhh
There, there.
But there's 68 more booths!
This particular kind of art is best
appreciated in small doses.
Really?
I thought you'd have wanted to get a whole
bunch out of the way at once.
No offense, but that "art show" is just a
bunch of cheap junk and knick-knacks.
How about we head over
to Funville for a little pool?
There's a play over in the Bahia Park
Theater that sounds really interesting!
Alright.
Let's go!
Hang on.
You guys want to see a play.
You guys wanna see a play.
You guys.. wanna see a play!
No, no matter how you say it, it just
sounds weird.
It's so great to do stuff with you,
Tish.
You're the best friend ever.
I had the dream again.
I dreamed that we were in the warehouse.
Have I awakened?
Let us play shuffleboard.
Have you noticed every time she asks a
question, they start playing shuffleboard?
Yes.
Like the game,
is the only answer.
What d'you think, Tish?
Tish?
Where have you been?
I left!
An hour ago.
You didn't like it?
I mean, it was so artsy and profound.
It was so boring.
You shoulda said somethin'.
Yeah, Tish,
you mean a lot to us,
and we wanted to give you
the best weekend ever.
Heyy, hey.
I didn't know the play
meant that much to you.
It's not the play.
It's because you and
your parents are
Time to go!
See ya tomorrow, Tish.
Tish!
Yeah?
You're so great.
Okay, get some rest.
France has given us
many great geniuses
such as Victor
Hugo, Louis Pasteur,
and Jean Paul Sartre.
France is also widely considered the
cultural center of Europe.
Perhaps we would be wise
to be more like the French,
and eat snails.
Dare you?
No.
Double dare you?
No.
Triple dare?
Quadjuple dare.
Guys, I'm not gonna eat it.
Curses!
She is too mighty for our dares.
I'd rather eat 10 snails than face another
day of Tish stuff.
Now we owe it to her
to make today really special.
I picked out some events from the paper.
There's a festival of short experimental
films.
Alright, 20 snails.
Look, T, she didn't like the art
show or the play that much.
You think maybe this time we got
to ask her what she wants to do?
Nah.
Listen to this.
She'll love this for sure.
The art museum has a show by a guy who
paints by sneezing stuff out of his nose.
30 snails!
Hey, guys.
How are you?
You look great, Tish.
We're so glad to see you.
Uh, hey.
We have some great stuff planned today,
Tish.
There's this really cool
trio who make avant-garde
jazz music by jingling the
change in their pockets.
40 snails, and that's my final offer.
Alright, what the heck is goin' on!?
We just want to make your last weekend
really special.
Last weekend?
What?
What's that supposed to mean?
I didn't say last weekend.
I said,
last week end.
Lor!
I couldn't think of anything.
If you guys don't tell me what's up,
I'm goin' home right now!
Tish.
We know what's goin' on.
You don't have to hide it from us.
What are you talking about?
I
I saw your diary.
My diary?
I didn't mean to.
Carver, how could you?
You're my friend.
I trusted you.
I'd eat 50 snails to make this all better.
Oddly enough, I don't think that'll help.
Go away.
I'm not here.
Tishy, your friends here for "apple cheese."
That's apologies.
In old country, door not even
allowed to be locked.
Then why would you want to go back?
Okay.
These have been enough time.
Open!
Alright.
Come in.
Tish.
Isn't it enough
you read my diary?
Did you have to tell everyone else, too?
Carver had to tell us.
Oh, I'm sure he did.
And you had to help him
keep it a secret from me.
You're the one who's keeping a secret!
We have a right to know if we're
never gonna see you again!
Tish, we know you're moving
back to the old country, okay?
I read it in your diary.
Moving back to the old country.
Where did you
Oh, no.
She's lost it.
Laughing through the tears.
I don't believe it, Carver.. !
You weren't reading my diary.
You were reading my novel.
It said "Diary" on the front.
'Cause that's the title!
"Diary"
Catchy, huh?
You mean you're not moving
back to the old country?
Are you nuts?
Why would anyone move back to a place
where you aren't allowed to lock your door?
But, we heard your mom and dad talking
about there only being four days left.
Until they start remodeling our kitchen.
Tish, I'm really sorry
I looked at your novel thing.
You should be!
What were you thinking?
That's one of the worst things you can do
to a person.
You completely violated my privacy.
On the other hand, what did you think of
my book?
Is it good?
Was the prose crisp and tight?
Well, I'll tell you this much.
It sure was convincing.
Did you like the shipwreck scene?
Did you?
Did you?
The part where Patrick
decries hermeticism
Okay.
I know Carver's snooping started the whole
thing.
I guess if we had asked Tish
what was up in the first place,
we wouldn't have blown
the whole weekend.
Man, I can't believe we went to something
called Happy Art is Fun.
Of course, I did like the
humorous coconut faces.
Especially this one!
Ah, okay.
Later days.
Didja see my lips move?