The Weekenders (2000) s02e16 Episode Script
Uncool World
Hola, it's Tino.
So you know that Video Panic show?
The one where they pick someone from the
audience to rate the videos?
Well, this Sunday, they're gonna
be right here in Bahia Bay!
And we just signed up to be in the
audience.
Let's check the cool meter on this,
shall we?
9.6.
Very nice.
Hey, check out Brie and Colby.
They're at it again.
Mocking someone who's "beneath them."
Natch, which would be everyone.
Double natch.
Your pyramid-like shape must
provide good stability and high wind.
Ooh!
There's nothing wrong with your face
an industrial belt center wouldn't fix.
Ooh!
Man, I wanna be cool, but I hate it
when they make fun of people!
There's nothing cool about that.
You're right.
I'm gonna go stop it.
No, no, no.
Mortals must not meddle in the affairs of
the cool kids.
Holding your guts in is
a waste of perfectly good skin.
Ooh!
Stop!
You guys think you're so cool,
huh?
You hear something?
Just some uncool squeaky sounds.
Well, think about this.
You can't both be the coolest.
One of you must be cooler than the other.
Ooh!
It's true.
There's only one thing to do.
A cool showdown.
Right here.
Sunset.
Winner, like, take all.
Ooh!
In the name of all that's holy,
what have you done?
This is it.
A duel of the cool.
Two cool kids enter,
but only one will leave.
Colby makes the first move.
A perfectly executed, "who cares?" shrug.
Brie counters with a classic,
"I'm so bored" slouch.
Ooh!
A devastatingly
cool pair of shades.
That has got to hurt.
But Brie comes back with a skull pin.
Skulls are always cool.
Looks like Colby's falling behind.
But wait, what's this?
That's a Little Muffins fanclub card!
Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
What an upset.
Brie is disoriented.
Colby hits her with
a "yeah, right" smirk
combined with
a masterful eyebrow raise.
Brie stumbles, she's on the ropes.
Colby takes it on home
with a punishing "what a loser" stare.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's all over for Brie.
You know what this means.
I'm, uh, I'm uncool.
Yeah.
'Kay, whatever.
Can't be.
It just can't be.
A cool kid can't become uncool.
It's, it's against nature.
Boohoo.
Yeah, what's the big deal?
The big deal is, when there were two cool
kids, maybe I could be the third.
But if there can only be one,
what chance do I have!?
Understand?
You know, there are trains leaving for the
real world every half hour.
Hail to thee, secret shrine of coolness.
One of the great ones has fallen.
I must repair the damage, or
it could be the end of all that is cool.
Coolness, give me strength.
Penny, please tell me you're
not standing right behind me.
"Coolness, give me strength"?
Wow, I can't wait to tell my friends about
this.
Coolness, smite my sister!
Smite, smite, smite.
And now, Cirque du Pizza presents
Your flying Trapizza!
Extra cheese.
Brie looks terrible.
We have to do something.
I know. Let's say "Gee, that's too bad",
and then eat our pizza.
No, Carver's right.
We have to help her
deal with being uncool.
Are you nuts?
We have to help her become cool again!
She's wearing a Little Muffin sweatshirt.
Pretty safe bet she's
given up on being cool.
But she's a cool kid.
Cool kids can't even see us.
Can't stop!
Is someone there?
I told you she can't see us.
Wait, there's something.
I see uncool people.
Help me !
Don't worry, Brie.
We're gonna teach you all about the uncool
world.
You think it's easy to be uncool?
Well, it wasn't easy for Brie.
Maybe we shouldn't have had her take off
her sunglasses.
The sun
It burns!
Her idea of fun was
leaning against things.
So she had a little trouble with stuff
like bikes.
And skating?
That was a disaster.
"Save the Earth from destruction."
"Save the Earth from destruction."
See how boring the slightly less cool
world is?
Don't you think it's time to go back to
being cool?
Can't.
Coolness gone.
No way back.
"Save the Earth from destruction."
It's hopeless.
She's just not getting
the hang of being uncool.
We're not helping her at all.
Guys, we might as well give up.
Hey, is there a way to, you know, say that
you've helped me and, like, that's good?
You mean you want to thank us?
Uh, no, I don't want to go that far.
Did you hear that ?
We are helping her!
Oh, yeah.
We back.
Hey.
Hey.
So, how did you get that
horrible scar on your
Oh, it's your mouth?
Wow.
I didn't know being mocked,
hurt so much.
Well, that's what you and Colby have been
doing to people for years.
Maybe we weren't so cool after all.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
I'm not listening!
La la-la-la-la-la
What is he doing?
Either he doesn't want to hear you
questioning the nature of coolness
Or his mind has finally snapped,
like a dry and brittle twig.
Yeah, I'm betting it's that one.
Hey, what's up?
You want to come to the
Video Panic broadcast with us?
Not going.
What?
I can't stand everyone seeing me,
you know, being uncool.
Brie, you can't hide forever.
I don't care.
I'm just staying right here.
No!
This is gonna be the
coolest event of the year.
You owe it to yourself to go.
More than that, you owe it to the world.
If you abandon coolness,
it'll be chaos, I tell you.
Utter chaos!
I'll go if you promise to shut up.
Deal.
Hey.
Where'd Carver go?
There he is.
Why is he talking to the VJ?
I'm Reggie Trash, and
now it's Chum Bukkit
with "Suffused Elephant Quaffs
Winces Exasperating"!
Okay.
Now, Reggie's gonna pick someone from
the audience to rate that video.
I need a prime example of middle school
cool.
It's gonna be Colby.
Yep.
Aaaand it's
You!
Me?
Reggie says you da one!
Yeah!
Sooo, cool one.
On a scale of one to ten, how would
you rate that Chum Bukkit video?
[ unintelligible mumbling ]
whatever.
Look at you.
Terrible posture.
Bad attitude.
Totally inarticulate.
Reggie says, you are the coolest!
And that campy
Little Muffin sweatshirt is great!
Hey.
Hey.
So, you've been declared cool by Reggie Trash.
According to, like, I dunno,
unwritten rules of coolness,
I must now yield to you
and join the world of the uncool.
No.
I decree that all will be as it was.
We will both be the cool kids.
Yay!
With one change.
We will no longer mock those
who are beneath us.
Making fun of people,
is uncool.
I never really liked it anyway.
It's not a cool use of my time.
Way to go, Brie.
You did the right..
Do you uh,
see something?
Just some uncool blurs.
We totally shoulda seen that coming.
Yeah.
Why were you talking to the VJ, Carv'?
Well, I
Heyyyy.
I bet you were trying to help
Brie by telling him to pick her.
I'd rather not say.
Hang on.
You were telling him
to pick you, weren'tcha?
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la..
Well, aside from the inexplicable
coolness of Little Muffin sweatshirts,
I guess everything is back to normal.
Brie is Brie again, and Carver would sell
his own grandmother to be cool.
I would not!
Wait, do you think that would work?
Later days.
So you know that Video Panic show?
The one where they pick someone from the
audience to rate the videos?
Well, this Sunday, they're gonna
be right here in Bahia Bay!
And we just signed up to be in the
audience.
Let's check the cool meter on this,
shall we?
9.6.
Very nice.
Hey, check out Brie and Colby.
They're at it again.
Mocking someone who's "beneath them."
Natch, which would be everyone.
Double natch.
Your pyramid-like shape must
provide good stability and high wind.
Ooh!
There's nothing wrong with your face
an industrial belt center wouldn't fix.
Ooh!
Man, I wanna be cool, but I hate it
when they make fun of people!
There's nothing cool about that.
You're right.
I'm gonna go stop it.
No, no, no.
Mortals must not meddle in the affairs of
the cool kids.
Holding your guts in is
a waste of perfectly good skin.
Ooh!
Stop!
You guys think you're so cool,
huh?
You hear something?
Just some uncool squeaky sounds.
Well, think about this.
You can't both be the coolest.
One of you must be cooler than the other.
Ooh!
It's true.
There's only one thing to do.
A cool showdown.
Right here.
Sunset.
Winner, like, take all.
Ooh!
In the name of all that's holy,
what have you done?
This is it.
A duel of the cool.
Two cool kids enter,
but only one will leave.
Colby makes the first move.
A perfectly executed, "who cares?" shrug.
Brie counters with a classic,
"I'm so bored" slouch.
Ooh!
A devastatingly
cool pair of shades.
That has got to hurt.
But Brie comes back with a skull pin.
Skulls are always cool.
Looks like Colby's falling behind.
But wait, what's this?
That's a Little Muffins fanclub card!
Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
What an upset.
Brie is disoriented.
Colby hits her with
a "yeah, right" smirk
combined with
a masterful eyebrow raise.
Brie stumbles, she's on the ropes.
Colby takes it on home
with a punishing "what a loser" stare.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's all over for Brie.
You know what this means.
I'm, uh, I'm uncool.
Yeah.
'Kay, whatever.
Can't be.
It just can't be.
A cool kid can't become uncool.
It's, it's against nature.
Boohoo.
Yeah, what's the big deal?
The big deal is, when there were two cool
kids, maybe I could be the third.
But if there can only be one,
what chance do I have!?
Understand?
You know, there are trains leaving for the
real world every half hour.
Hail to thee, secret shrine of coolness.
One of the great ones has fallen.
I must repair the damage, or
it could be the end of all that is cool.
Coolness, give me strength.
Penny, please tell me you're
not standing right behind me.
"Coolness, give me strength"?
Wow, I can't wait to tell my friends about
this.
Coolness, smite my sister!
Smite, smite, smite.
And now, Cirque du Pizza presents
Your flying Trapizza!
Extra cheese.
Brie looks terrible.
We have to do something.
I know. Let's say "Gee, that's too bad",
and then eat our pizza.
No, Carver's right.
We have to help her
deal with being uncool.
Are you nuts?
We have to help her become cool again!
She's wearing a Little Muffin sweatshirt.
Pretty safe bet she's
given up on being cool.
But she's a cool kid.
Cool kids can't even see us.
Can't stop!
Is someone there?
I told you she can't see us.
Wait, there's something.
I see uncool people.
Help me !
Don't worry, Brie.
We're gonna teach you all about the uncool
world.
You think it's easy to be uncool?
Well, it wasn't easy for Brie.
Maybe we shouldn't have had her take off
her sunglasses.
The sun
It burns!
Her idea of fun was
leaning against things.
So she had a little trouble with stuff
like bikes.
And skating?
That was a disaster.
"Save the Earth from destruction."
"Save the Earth from destruction."
See how boring the slightly less cool
world is?
Don't you think it's time to go back to
being cool?
Can't.
Coolness gone.
No way back.
"Save the Earth from destruction."
It's hopeless.
She's just not getting
the hang of being uncool.
We're not helping her at all.
Guys, we might as well give up.
Hey, is there a way to, you know, say that
you've helped me and, like, that's good?
You mean you want to thank us?
Uh, no, I don't want to go that far.
Did you hear that ?
We are helping her!
Oh, yeah.
We back.
Hey.
Hey.
So, how did you get that
horrible scar on your
Oh, it's your mouth?
Wow.
I didn't know being mocked,
hurt so much.
Well, that's what you and Colby have been
doing to people for years.
Maybe we weren't so cool after all.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
I'm not listening!
La la-la-la-la-la
What is he doing?
Either he doesn't want to hear you
questioning the nature of coolness
Or his mind has finally snapped,
like a dry and brittle twig.
Yeah, I'm betting it's that one.
Hey, what's up?
You want to come to the
Video Panic broadcast with us?
Not going.
What?
I can't stand everyone seeing me,
you know, being uncool.
Brie, you can't hide forever.
I don't care.
I'm just staying right here.
No!
This is gonna be the
coolest event of the year.
You owe it to yourself to go.
More than that, you owe it to the world.
If you abandon coolness,
it'll be chaos, I tell you.
Utter chaos!
I'll go if you promise to shut up.
Deal.
Hey.
Where'd Carver go?
There he is.
Why is he talking to the VJ?
I'm Reggie Trash, and
now it's Chum Bukkit
with "Suffused Elephant Quaffs
Winces Exasperating"!
Okay.
Now, Reggie's gonna pick someone from
the audience to rate that video.
I need a prime example of middle school
cool.
It's gonna be Colby.
Yep.
Aaaand it's
You!
Me?
Reggie says you da one!
Yeah!
Sooo, cool one.
On a scale of one to ten, how would
you rate that Chum Bukkit video?
[ unintelligible mumbling ]
whatever.
Look at you.
Terrible posture.
Bad attitude.
Totally inarticulate.
Reggie says, you are the coolest!
And that campy
Little Muffin sweatshirt is great!
Hey.
Hey.
So, you've been declared cool by Reggie Trash.
According to, like, I dunno,
unwritten rules of coolness,
I must now yield to you
and join the world of the uncool.
No.
I decree that all will be as it was.
We will both be the cool kids.
Yay!
With one change.
We will no longer mock those
who are beneath us.
Making fun of people,
is uncool.
I never really liked it anyway.
It's not a cool use of my time.
Way to go, Brie.
You did the right..
Do you uh,
see something?
Just some uncool blurs.
We totally shoulda seen that coming.
Yeah.
Why were you talking to the VJ, Carv'?
Well, I
Heyyyy.
I bet you were trying to help
Brie by telling him to pick her.
I'd rather not say.
Hang on.
You were telling him
to pick you, weren'tcha?
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la..
Well, aside from the inexplicable
coolness of Little Muffin sweatshirts,
I guess everything is back to normal.
Brie is Brie again, and Carver would sell
his own grandmother to be cool.
I would not!
Wait, do you think that would work?
Later days.