The Weekenders (2000) s02e17 Episode Script

Hey, Tino here.
So, we have a
pretty exciting weekend coming up
Um, Tino can't really talk to
you right now, 'cause, well
'Cause he's talking to a tree!
Yeah, definitely not your
standard Tino-esque behavior.
You okay, T?
Oh, yeah.
I'm fine, Lor.
Uh, Carver?
It's a little after three,
why d'you ask?
Well, I guess I'll head home now
'cause of the thingy
Well, at least he's not
talking to trees anymore.
Hello, Mr. Tree.
And I'm wrong.
I bet international spies implanted some
kind of mind-control microchip in his head.
No, no.
Clearly, aliens have sucked out his brain.
Why is it that whenever
one of us is acting weird,
we think it has something
to do with aliens or spies?
Maybe he just had the flu.
That could be it.
The secret spy flu.
Developed by aliens.
And now
Pizza, the Musical!
Let's start the show. ♪
We aim to please. ♪
We're dancing, singing, and
we're bringing dough and cheese. ♪
I knew I should have cast Carol Channing.
Where the heck is Tino?
Hey, guys.
Microchip.
Are we taking a little fashion risk?
More like we're jumping off
a little fashion cliff.
Yeah, I changed my clothes.
What's the big deal?
Should I wear the same clothes every day?
And why are you looking
at the back of my head?
Just checking for the hole
where they sucked your brain out.
Or put the microchip in.
Uhhhhh..
h-hiya.
Oh, my gosh!
Tino has a crush on the punk girl!
Shh!
She'll hear you.
Sh-sh-sh-shhh!
Of course!
He was acting weird, so
the weird girl will notice him.
Alright.
We're leaving.
Hang on.
I wanna ask if she can
recommend a good hairstylist.
No talky!
I'm looking for somethin' in a heavy boot.
Preferably with spikes.
You know, when I was young,
we used to get our noses pierced.
Things must have been tough
in prehistoric times.
Ha!
Good one, Tino.
So, T, how can you have a crush on the
punk girl?
Would you just lay off?
Lor, I don't give you a hard time
about your crush on Thompson.
And, Carver, I don't give you a hard time
about your crush on that shoe model.
For the last time, I do
not have a crush on
Okay, I do.
So, why do you have to give me
a hard time about Tasha?
Tino's right.
Excuse me?
He's our friend and we should support him.
Thank you.
But Tasha isn't our friend, so we don't
have to support her.
Good.
That's a relief.
If this is support, I don't need it.
Guys, if we're going
to stay friends with Tino,
we have to deal with
whoever he has a crush on.
You're saying we should
accept the punk girl?
I'm saying we should force him to get a
crush on someone else.
Duh.
You know, when I was young, we used to
shave off our eyebrows.
No wonder your species is extinct.
Ha!
Good one, Carver!
I don't know why, but I just can't stop
thinking about Tasha.
She's just so, different.
Different can be good.
Yeah, but the guys hate her.
I don't know.
Maybe I should try to de-crush myself?
You can't change the way you feel
to make your friends happy.
And you can't change the way
you dress to make Tasha like you.
Ah, you're just jealous of my studded
armband.
Well, there's no foolin' you.
Hey, this chicken's pretty good.
Um, okay.
It's not chicken, is it?
I'd rather not say.
Just tell me it's not, you know,
rabbit or something.
I'd rather not say.
Oh!
Way to wreck Easter, Mom!
Honey, if you really like Tasha, the guys
will accept your feelings sooner or later.
Maybe.
But they'll never accept
another dinner invitation.
I have here the Bahia Bay
Middle School Yearbook.
All we have to do is go through it,
pick out a girl we think
Tino should have a crush on,
and force him to like her.
It's worth a try.
Let's see.
Ooh!
Summer Schwartz!
She's perfect!
She looks just like Tino, only a girl.
No, it's gotta be Dot Cardigan.
I've seen Tino get sweaty
when she's around.
Maybe he's allergic.
You guys are both nuts.
Here's the perfect choice.
Cheri Montaigne.
But she's like the babe of the entire
school.
Don't say babe.
It's demeaning.
She's totally out of his reach.
Unattainable girls are so
Fascinating.
Why don't we each take one?
That way we'll have three times the chance
of succeeding.
I guess?
Sounds like a plan.
And remember, we're doing this for Tino's
sake.
Are we?
I don't think we are, really.
I'm just saying that's our story if he
catches us.
Alright.
Got it.
I like it.
But why do I feel
the urge to chase a stick?
Is that?
Summer Schwartz?
Wow, I never noticed.
But she looks just like me.
Only a girl.
Oh.
Uh.
Hi.
What are you doing?
Who?
Me?
Um.
Nothing.
It's a fraternity initiation.
Okay.
Bye.
Ow.
Really?
Are you sure?
Tino has a crush on me?
Oh, no doubt about it, Dot.
Hey, aren't you drinking
that kind of fast?
Oh my gosh.
I totally can't believe it.
I have had such a total crush on him.
Ever since he won that Chess trophy.
Brainfreeze! Owie?
Owie. Owie. Owie.
Yes!
Like making candy get a crush on a baby.
There he is!
There's your big chance.
Uh, one question.
Who am I?
Owie?
Do you have any rub-on tattoos?
No, they're all real.
I mean for sale.
Oh, right.
Wait, what was the question?
Hi, Tino.
Do you have something you want to tell me?
You mean besides,
you're standing on my foot?
You're so funny.
Yeah, well.
See ya.
See ya.
Tasha has got to want tickets
to the Punk-a-thon!
This should be the perfect place to
"accidentally" bump into her.
Bump into her!
You're killing me.
Dude, Dot and Summer did not work out.
You are our only hope.
Right.
Just like we agreed, okay?
I'll be your full-time
shoe advisor for a year.
If you just stand next to Tino and play
hard to get.
I am hard to get.
Then it'll be easy.
Uhhh.
Hnnh?
Hyaa.
Hee.
Isn't he dreamy?
Yeah, I've had dreams like that.
I wake up screaming.
Uhh..
Uh, Tasha, I
D'ohh.
You see what you did?
I was trying to
accidentally bump into her.
It's rude to point.
There has to be someone
he'd get a crush on.
You know who we need?
Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Oh, yeah.
She'd be perfect !
What do you think, Jennifer Love Hewitt?
Can you help us out?
Sure.
Why not?
Hey, T.
Hey, T!
Look who wants to meet you.
Hi, Tino.
Wow.
Jennifer Love Hewitt?
I
Wait a minute.
So you guys are behind all this?
Well, we
Hey, if you have a problem with Tasha,
you have a problem with me.
Could you make it out to "Tino"?
Uh, T.I
Yeah, thanks.
No one's ever walked away from me before.
Unattainable boys are so fascinating.
We've completely alienated our best
friend.
And you know why?
'Cause he likes the weird girl!
No!
Because we were so focused
on how we felt about Tasha,
that we didn't think
about his feelings.
You're right.
We have to make it up to him somehow.
Um, hi.
Can I go now?
Sure.
Here's a buck.
Buy yourself some'n nice.
Um, gosh, thanks.
Hey, you changed.
And let me tell you why.
A?
I looked stupid.
B, Tasha didn't notice me anyway.
So I've moved from my "get her attention
with my clothes" plan to my
"stare at the ceiling" plan.
Okay, now you're obsessing.
You need to get out and have some fun.
Oh, but staring at the
ceiling is lots of fun.
I can't believe I've wasted so much
of my life not staring at the ceiling.
Am I going to have to force you?
Alright, I'll have some fun.
But I won't enjoy it.
There she is.
Do I look okay?
How are my clothes?
Does my breath smell?
Who are you?
Excuse me.
Tino?
I hear you're a Captain Dreadnought fan?
Man, I am super into Captain D.
Those comics are great!
You?
You like Captain Dreadnought?
Yeah.
Especially #27.
The first appearance of Junior Dreddy!
Well, how did you find out that I liked --
Those three weird guys told me.
Thanks, guys.
Come on, you have to see my collection.
I even have the issue
they banned in Europe.
Whoa
There you go.
We still think Tasha's pretty weird.
But if Tino likes her,
maybe she's not so bad.
Have you guys seen Tino?
He's so.. fascinating!
First shoe advice?
You're too tall for heels.
Away with you now.
Okay, later --
Oh, oh, can I say it?
Yeah, why not?
Later days.
I sound like such a dork !