The Weekenders (2000) s02e18 Episode Script
Brain Envy
Dude, I am going to smoke
that school free throw record!
Ow!
Uh-oh.
Check out the signage.
ioFor gym access outside school hours,
see Coach Colson.
Oh, man.
When did this happen?
Another monstrous example
of bureaucratic red tape.
It's not tape.
It's actually locked.
Hang on, there's Coach Colson.
And there he's not.
Come on.
Let me in
This has to be the only known case
of Lor beggin' to get into school.
The weekend is ruined.
Now I have to use my ratty home hoops.
Bummer.
Hey, Lor.
You're fine.
Hi, Thompson.
Yo, Tish.
Good goin' with that algebra exam,
Miss 100%.
Not too shabby yourself, Mr 98%.
He's a jock and a brain.
Yeah, way to wreck the curve, Thompson.
Hey, sorry you got locked outta the gym.
Now I know what the
isolation of X feels like.
Later.
Isolation of X.
Pretty funny, eh, Lor?
Or maybe not.
Alright.
What was up with all
that lovey-dovey, algebra stuff?
Since when is algebra lovey-dovey?
It's math with letters.
You know how Lor gets
when it comes to Thompson.
She does that, like, tunnel vision thing.
Nuh-uh!
You know I like Thompson.
And you know he likes brainy girls.
And there you were,
shakin' that big ol' brain o' yours for him!
What are you talking about?
May I?
Knock yourself out.
Lor here.
Okay, I am way sick of all the attention
Tish gets cause of her brain.
It's not so big.
Check out Tish's brain.
And this is mine.
Okay, maybe hers is kind of bigger.
But let's look at a dolphin's brain.
Dude !
A dolphin's bigger
than mine, too!
Man, now I know why
we usually leave this stuff to Tino.
Okay, next scene.
And one, two, three, four,
reach !
How are my arteries ever supposed to
harden if I keep moving like this?
Tish, just tell me you're
in love with Thompson.
Huh?
It's okay.
I forgive you.
After all, what are friends for?
If not to stab other friends in the back!?
Like I said before, tunnel vision.
Thompson and I are just friends.
Like in a mutual brainiac way.
Well, I don't trust brainiacs.
They're always doing equations
in their heads and stuff.
Really?
Tish, are you doing an equation in your
head right now?
Just an easy one.
One of those, "if two trains left Chicago
at the same time", kind of things.
Wow.
Creepy.
Oh, come on!
I'm not the only one who does that!
I'm the only one who does that.
One package of dulcimer strings,
my good man.
Tish!
I'm so glad you came in.
Look at this.
Surprise, surprise.
My best customer is
also my smartest customer.
Scholastic Honours Society ?
There's Thompson with Tish!
Aha!
I knew I couldn't trust you.
You smart smarty pants.. !
It's quiet.
Too quiet.
Ring the bell.
N - no!
Please inform Tish that
she can have Thompson.
I'm giving up on him anyway.
He only likes smart girls.
For the
10-to-the-nth-power time,
I am not interested in Thompson.
Lor, Tish would never go after Thompson.
She's your friend.
I don't know.
Come on.
Let her prove she's on your side.
I have the perfect way.
Operation Scorpion.
Ew.
Don't worry, no actual scorpions.
It just sounds cooler than "Operation Make
Thompson Think Lor's Smart."
Here he comes.
Over.
Thompson at 3 o'clock.
Over.
I don't know if I can do this.
Don't worry.
You have cheat notes,
and Carver will be
coaching you from a
textbook over the earpiece.
The Scorpion has landed.
Over.
Huh?
Thompson's coming.
Oh.
Hey, Lor.
So, Tish, I didn't know
you were into magma.
I know nothing of this "magma".
Lor is the expert.
Aren't you, my friend, Lor?
Right, you are, my friend,
Tish.
Many people do not
realize that magma is
found beneath the Earth's surface.
I did not know that, my friend,
Lor.
When magma is extruded onto the
Earth's surface, it's called
Java?
Lava!
So, what are your favorite volcanoes?
The pointy ones ?
Okay, I got somethin'.
In Laha'i, Middle Ages, crop rotation was
introduced.
Medieval agriculture?
Oh, man.
So, my friend, Lor.
What were you saying earlier about lava?
Uhh.
It
You know, about how its viscosity depends
on the silica content temperature and
degree of solidification upon the
extrusion of the magma?
Young lady, here's a free t-shirt for
being so magma-savvy.
We should talk about magma again sometime,
Tish, and igneous rocks, too.
Oh, they rule!
Catch you later.
So, that went well.
Yeah, for you!
Obviously this was the final step in your
plan to steal Thompson away from me.
Don't blame Tish.
I'm the one who mixed up the cue cards.
And I grabbed the wrong textbook.
Just what I thought.
A conspiracy!
Lor, please
I don't wanna hear it!
I'm never talking to any of you again,
for the rest of my life!
Go on
Ask your mom.
What's up?
Okay, here's the deal.
Lor was upset 'cause
she's not as smart as Tish.
So we
.. tried to make her look
smart and it backfired.
Whoa!
It's like she's got a backstage
pass to your brain.
People can be smart in
lots of different ways.
You shouldn't have tried to make Lor
into someone she's not.
Lor doesn't have to be good
at the same things Tish is good at.
It's like your mom and me.
I'm good at cooking, sports, art, science,
carpentry, and Ukrainian folk dancing.
And she's good at
Five, four, three, two, one.
Automotive repair.
You are so gonna pay for that.
Look, I bet if you guys can get Lor to
see all the stuff she is good at,
she'll realize that
you really are on her side.
And then maybe she'll be
able to trust you guys again.
I think I know how we can do that.
Come on, guys!
Hope Coach Colson doesn't answer the door
in his robe again.
Yeah.
Teachers in robes,
is like number six on my list of stuff
that gives me nightmares.
Right between pitbulls and boybands.
Sorry, kitty.
For the last time,
I don't want any cookies!
Oh.
Hi, kids.
Nice to see you.
Sorry for the intrusion, sir,
but we need to
borrow the gym keys.
Sorry, kitty.
Doorbell ditch.
Real original.
The key to the gym.
I can shoot some hoops and forget all
about certain rotten big-brained people.
At least I have one real friend out there.
That's 52 free throws!
I do believe she's going to break the
school record.
What did you want me to see, Tish?
Look!
54, a new school record!
Lor !
Dude,
you are the best!
Thanks.
Want to play a little one-on-one?
Sure.
Let me get in a few practice shots.
Thanks for bringing me, Tish.
That was great.
So like, thanks.
Hey, what are friends for?
Uh, to forgive other friends when they act
like jealous boneheads?
Exactly.
This is just like at the end of a movie,
when everyone gets teary.
I hate that.
I feel better now.
Tish isn't smarter than me.
She's just one kind of smart,
and I'm another kind.
Check out the size of my um.
Cerebellum.
That's the part of the brain that controls
movement, balance, and coordination.
It means you're good at sports.
Well, duh.
Hey, Tino.
Say "later days" now, okay?
Um, later days?
Cool!
that school free throw record!
Ow!
Uh-oh.
Check out the signage.
ioFor gym access outside school hours,
see Coach Colson.
Oh, man.
When did this happen?
Another monstrous example
of bureaucratic red tape.
It's not tape.
It's actually locked.
Hang on, there's Coach Colson.
And there he's not.
Come on.
Let me in
This has to be the only known case
of Lor beggin' to get into school.
The weekend is ruined.
Now I have to use my ratty home hoops.
Bummer.
Hey, Lor.
You're fine.
Hi, Thompson.
Yo, Tish.
Good goin' with that algebra exam,
Miss 100%.
Not too shabby yourself, Mr 98%.
He's a jock and a brain.
Yeah, way to wreck the curve, Thompson.
Hey, sorry you got locked outta the gym.
Now I know what the
isolation of X feels like.
Later.
Isolation of X.
Pretty funny, eh, Lor?
Or maybe not.
Alright.
What was up with all
that lovey-dovey, algebra stuff?
Since when is algebra lovey-dovey?
It's math with letters.
You know how Lor gets
when it comes to Thompson.
She does that, like, tunnel vision thing.
Nuh-uh!
You know I like Thompson.
And you know he likes brainy girls.
And there you were,
shakin' that big ol' brain o' yours for him!
What are you talking about?
May I?
Knock yourself out.
Lor here.
Okay, I am way sick of all the attention
Tish gets cause of her brain.
It's not so big.
Check out Tish's brain.
And this is mine.
Okay, maybe hers is kind of bigger.
But let's look at a dolphin's brain.
Dude !
A dolphin's bigger
than mine, too!
Man, now I know why
we usually leave this stuff to Tino.
Okay, next scene.
And one, two, three, four,
reach !
How are my arteries ever supposed to
harden if I keep moving like this?
Tish, just tell me you're
in love with Thompson.
Huh?
It's okay.
I forgive you.
After all, what are friends for?
If not to stab other friends in the back!?
Like I said before, tunnel vision.
Thompson and I are just friends.
Like in a mutual brainiac way.
Well, I don't trust brainiacs.
They're always doing equations
in their heads and stuff.
Really?
Tish, are you doing an equation in your
head right now?
Just an easy one.
One of those, "if two trains left Chicago
at the same time", kind of things.
Wow.
Creepy.
Oh, come on!
I'm not the only one who does that!
I'm the only one who does that.
One package of dulcimer strings,
my good man.
Tish!
I'm so glad you came in.
Look at this.
Surprise, surprise.
My best customer is
also my smartest customer.
Scholastic Honours Society ?
There's Thompson with Tish!
Aha!
I knew I couldn't trust you.
You smart smarty pants.. !
It's quiet.
Too quiet.
Ring the bell.
N - no!
Please inform Tish that
she can have Thompson.
I'm giving up on him anyway.
He only likes smart girls.
For the
10-to-the-nth-power time,
I am not interested in Thompson.
Lor, Tish would never go after Thompson.
She's your friend.
I don't know.
Come on.
Let her prove she's on your side.
I have the perfect way.
Operation Scorpion.
Ew.
Don't worry, no actual scorpions.
It just sounds cooler than "Operation Make
Thompson Think Lor's Smart."
Here he comes.
Over.
Thompson at 3 o'clock.
Over.
I don't know if I can do this.
Don't worry.
You have cheat notes,
and Carver will be
coaching you from a
textbook over the earpiece.
The Scorpion has landed.
Over.
Huh?
Thompson's coming.
Oh.
Hey, Lor.
So, Tish, I didn't know
you were into magma.
I know nothing of this "magma".
Lor is the expert.
Aren't you, my friend, Lor?
Right, you are, my friend,
Tish.
Many people do not
realize that magma is
found beneath the Earth's surface.
I did not know that, my friend,
Lor.
When magma is extruded onto the
Earth's surface, it's called
Java?
Lava!
So, what are your favorite volcanoes?
The pointy ones ?
Okay, I got somethin'.
In Laha'i, Middle Ages, crop rotation was
introduced.
Medieval agriculture?
Oh, man.
So, my friend, Lor.
What were you saying earlier about lava?
Uhh.
It
You know, about how its viscosity depends
on the silica content temperature and
degree of solidification upon the
extrusion of the magma?
Young lady, here's a free t-shirt for
being so magma-savvy.
We should talk about magma again sometime,
Tish, and igneous rocks, too.
Oh, they rule!
Catch you later.
So, that went well.
Yeah, for you!
Obviously this was the final step in your
plan to steal Thompson away from me.
Don't blame Tish.
I'm the one who mixed up the cue cards.
And I grabbed the wrong textbook.
Just what I thought.
A conspiracy!
Lor, please
I don't wanna hear it!
I'm never talking to any of you again,
for the rest of my life!
Go on
Ask your mom.
What's up?
Okay, here's the deal.
Lor was upset 'cause
she's not as smart as Tish.
So we
.. tried to make her look
smart and it backfired.
Whoa!
It's like she's got a backstage
pass to your brain.
People can be smart in
lots of different ways.
You shouldn't have tried to make Lor
into someone she's not.
Lor doesn't have to be good
at the same things Tish is good at.
It's like your mom and me.
I'm good at cooking, sports, art, science,
carpentry, and Ukrainian folk dancing.
And she's good at
Five, four, three, two, one.
Automotive repair.
You are so gonna pay for that.
Look, I bet if you guys can get Lor to
see all the stuff she is good at,
she'll realize that
you really are on her side.
And then maybe she'll be
able to trust you guys again.
I think I know how we can do that.
Come on, guys!
Hope Coach Colson doesn't answer the door
in his robe again.
Yeah.
Teachers in robes,
is like number six on my list of stuff
that gives me nightmares.
Right between pitbulls and boybands.
Sorry, kitty.
For the last time,
I don't want any cookies!
Oh.
Hi, kids.
Nice to see you.
Sorry for the intrusion, sir,
but we need to
borrow the gym keys.
Sorry, kitty.
Doorbell ditch.
Real original.
The key to the gym.
I can shoot some hoops and forget all
about certain rotten big-brained people.
At least I have one real friend out there.
That's 52 free throws!
I do believe she's going to break the
school record.
What did you want me to see, Tish?
Look!
54, a new school record!
Lor !
Dude,
you are the best!
Thanks.
Want to play a little one-on-one?
Sure.
Let me get in a few practice shots.
Thanks for bringing me, Tish.
That was great.
So like, thanks.
Hey, what are friends for?
Uh, to forgive other friends when they act
like jealous boneheads?
Exactly.
This is just like at the end of a movie,
when everyone gets teary.
I hate that.
I feel better now.
Tish isn't smarter than me.
She's just one kind of smart,
and I'm another kind.
Check out the size of my um.
Cerebellum.
That's the part of the brain that controls
movement, balance, and coordination.
It means you're good at sports.
Well, duh.
Hey, Tino.
Say "later days" now, okay?
Um, later days?
Cool!