The Wonder Years (2021) s01e21 Episode Script

Where No Dean Has Gone Before

1 Even though the term "cool" wasn't invented in the '60s, it was perfected then.
It seems like everything was cool Our cars, our fashion, our music.
Even our white presidents were cool.
But growing up then, you knew there was a big difference between who was cool and who wasn't.
Shh! Sorry about Keisa, Dean.
Yeah, it stinks she has a new boyfriend.
Look at this way she clearly likes cool dudes, so you never really had a chance.
He's not that cool.
We're talking about Broderick, right? He's the starting quarterback.
So? He's messing up my 3-year plan a little.
I give them 6 months, tops.
You just got to do what Captain Kirk did to Edith Keeler let her go.
He didn't let her go.
She got hit by a truck.
He had to.
She was going to change history and the Germans were gonna win the war.
What are you guys talking about? Oh, man.
Did he hear us talking about "Star Trek"? Was he gonna make fun of us? I thought I heard you guys talking about "Star Trek.
" You like "Star Trek"? It's my favorite show.
For real? Us too.
Wait a minute.
A cool kid thought something we liked was cool? Nah, there's no way.
If it's really your favorite show, then prove it.
What happens if you place a phaser to "stun" but you stand too close? That's right.
I'm not as easy to impress as my weak-minded friends.
It can still vaporize someone.
He's right! Illogical! I see you know your stuff.
I can dig it.
You know, Dean's working on a model kit for the U.
It has 350 parts.
Man, you're lucky.
I've only seen those in the Sears catalog.
Can I check it out? To do that, you'd have to come to my house.
Why in the world would I wanna fraternize with the enemy? Broderick, don't forget we're supposed to go to the candy lady's house after school.
That's right.
Wait a minute.
Sorry, Keisa, but Broderick already made plans to come to my house.
If you still wanna see the U.
- Is that okay? - I guess.
That's right, Keisa.
Your plans with your boyfriend just got Spock-blocked.
Oh, please, come on, y'all know y'all liked that one.
Ah, the sweet, sweet smell of plastic model glue.
I liked the smell so much, I only remember half the models I built with it.
What was I saying? Hey, make sure that phaser bank's on tight.
Gonna need it to battle the Klingons.
You know, I'm kind of surprised someone like you is into "Star Trek.
" What do you mean, someone like me? Uh, well, you know, uh, someone who's part of the cool crowd.
What's cooler than flying around outer space fighting monsters with a bad-ass dude like Captain Kirk? Hey, why is Captain Kirk's face so weird? Because he has three ears A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
- You're funny.
- Yeah, my friends would dig you.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I have to go.
- Can't be late for dinner.
Do you want to see "2001: A Space Odyssey" on Saturday? I bet it's not as good as "Star Trek," but at least it's in space.
That's the day I usually organize my army men into battalions, but going one more day won't kill me, so, yeah.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought Broderick would want to hang out again.
And also, going one more day with my army men in disarray would kill me.
Double-check that last problem.
Uh, h-how'd you It sounded wrong.
So, how'd it go at Hines & Penny? Come on, now.
- Don't leave us hanging.
- Um Cedric was right.
They are recruiting.
And I think I might be the frontrunner! They've even invited me well, us To a company event this weekend to meet some other members of the firm.
I'd love for you to work at the only Black accounting firm in town.
They have a receptionist with a natural.
- Shut your mouth.
- Yes, they do! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! I know exactly how you feel, Mama.
I was invited to hang with someone cool, too.
He's actually Keisa's new boyfriend.
And he thinks I'm funny.
That is the saddest thing I ever heard.
That is not even remotely the same.
He owes you an apology, if you ask me.
Look at all these black faces.
Won't see this at a State Treasury Department picnic.
What I know I wouldn't see at a State Treasury Department picnic is you, Bill Williams.
They put raisins in potato salad, Lillian.
- Raisins.
- Hi, Lillian, Bill.
So glad you could make it.
- Cedric.
- Yes, sir.
This is Dean, our youngest dependent.
Our other two are at work, earning just under the threshold that allows them to file as single individuals.
Oh, you Did you put him up to this? I'm just speaking y'all's language.
I see.
I'd never seen Daddy so excited about Mama's work before.
I guess her being at a black firm would mean a lot to him.
Can't say that I've heard of "racial oppression" being an itemized deduction.
Ah, I'm just spitballing.
Just spitballing.
Bill, I think they just put the food out.
Come on, Dean.
Let's go audit the selections.
Ah, you must've heard that one before.
Oh, man.
So, uh, you made quite the impression in your interview.
The partners are going to offer you the job.
Um Cedric, it will be an honor to work for this company.
I'll give the state my two-week notice on Monday.
Are you free to join us for a business dinner with a potential client next weekend? I-I can make myself free.
Oh, and make sure you wear that dress you wore to the interview.
Uh, why does it matter what I wear? Oh, don't make too much of it.
We just, you know, want to make sure you look nice.
The same reason we chose a beautiful restaurant To, you know, put the client in the right mood.
We're trying to grow this company, so we all do what we have to do to land new business.
I play tennis with clients even though I hate the game.
And this new client, he likes pretty women as much as I hate tennis.
Did he say it like they want you 'cause you're good with figures or because you have a good figure? Honestly both.
I mean, I'm the one who decided to wear the dress in the first place, so might not be so bad to wear it again.
I still don't like some man telling my wife what to wear.
I know that's right.
How is this any different from you showing me off in front of your old Army buddies? Mm, I know that's right.
Will you pick a side? Otherwise, keep your mouth shut.
It is sexist for you or them to tell her to dress a certain way.
What about when Mom tells you not to wear those skimpy outfits to parties? I'm not dressing for boys.
I'm dressing for myself.
Those are the clothes that make me feel good.
Yeah, I'll believe that argument when you go to a party with no boys.
Alright, everybody, thank you for your opinions, but I've made my decision.
I'm going to wear the dress.
But I'll tell them I'm bringing my husband so they know I won't put up with any funny business.
I won't turn down a meal on someone else's expense account.
Totally get how you feel, Mama, but when Broderick said he liked my Green Lantern T-shirt, it was no big deal.
Stop trying to act like you understand anything.
I understand plenty.
You don't understand.
- That is so stupid.
- You're stupid! That's enough, you two.
Okay, listen up.
The party is Saturday night, and we're gonna be gone most of the evening, so we're leaving Bruce in charge.
- But why? - Yeah, we can get along.
Yeah, right.
See? Bruce, would it be okay if I hosted not a party but a "literary salon" Saturday night? I met some new kids who get together to read poetry and discuss current events.
I'm worried they think I'm all show and no go.
- Fine.
- Yes! As long as there's just a few, and you don't tell Mom and Dad if I duck out to Tammy's for a minute.
You know, I think I'll have a salon, too.
Oh, hell no.
If I can't invite my friends, then I'll just have to hang out with Kim and hers.
He can have his little dork buddies over, too.
So we got a deal? Nothing sealed the deal between the three of us like the threat of mutually assured destruction.
That's why, to this day, no one knows what's buried underneath that tree in the backyard.
You guys have the house to yourselves? Cool.
That'd never happen with my mom and dad.
Even if my parents weren't there, I still wouldn't be alone.
My Granny's ghost talks to me through the oven.
Man, looking back now, I sure wish we'd dug in on that a little more.
Eh, oh, well.
Kim and Bruce said I can invite a few people, and Broderick's coming with Keisa.
Quick question who do you have a bigger crush on now, Keisa or Broderick? - Very funny.
- At least I'm man enough to admit that I was wrong about him before.
Yeah, well, I can't Saturday.
I have to go to a bris.
What's that? It's a ceremony for the thing Norman never had done.
You're not supposed to look.
Everybody looks.
Well, I'll be there.
You gotta have the guy with the mustache at your party.
I'll be there, too, but promise me the lights will be on the whole time because "When the lights dim, there's sin.
" It'll be fine, Hampton.
It's only going to be a few people.
I invited a few of my friends over.
That's cool? Uh, uh, yeah.
Come on in, guys.
Uh, party's in the basement.
Look at me throwing a cool party with cool kids.
Would it be better if Keisa was my date and not Broderick's? Sure.
Am I still glad she's here, though? Damn skippy.
Did I hide the strand of her hair I have taped on my desk? No, I better go do that.
Did you invite all these kids? I invited Broderick.
Who invited the seventh-grader? It's his house.
Well, you better make sure your guests stay in the basement and don't interfere with my salon.
Or I will kill you.
I guess Kim was trying to impress some new friends, too.
Now, back to the subject on the table The futility of violence.
I was saying Vietnam is the first American war that can truly be considered immoral.
Wait, what what do you mean "immoral"? Um, this is my brother Bruce.
He's on his way out.
It's obviously immoral.
I just read an editorial in the Montgomery Gazette.
Makes a pretty convincing case.
It says that Well, I was just in Vietnam for two years, so if you want to know what's really happening, we can talk.
I couldn't believe Franklin snuck beer into the party.
Didn't they know 12-man Parcheesi was going to be hard enough without being intoxicated to boot? The gall.
Mnh-mnh! Mnh.
It's not good for the 'stache.
Don't do it, Keisa.
Be strong.
Be you.
Who all wants to hear a joke? You guys remember me telling you how funny he is? No.
Um, uh, why is a guitar and a fish so different? - Why? - Why? Because you can't tune a fish.
It's time to get this party started.
Where's the make-out room? Make-out room? I d I didn't know I didn't I I I I didn't think that It's cool.
We'll just use one of the bedrooms.
Uh, uh, um, excuse me, hey, can can Can you just stay out of my mom and dad's room and my sister's? Uh, how about we all just stay down here where it's safe? We need some more kicks.
You think the kid who lives here will mind if we took some of his dad's booze? I'm the kid who lives here, and, yes, I do mind! Geez, just asking.
It was nice that he asked.
Oh! Ooh! Get out of there! Hey, don't touch that! Hey, stop that! Get Okay, Bruce has said his piece.
Now let's let him get back to his stuff in any other room but this one.
It's unfair to draft people and force them to fight a war that has nothing to do with them.
This war affects all of us.
If communism gets a foothold there, who knows where it goes next? Hey, don't tell the kid who lives here, but I'm finna boost some of that whiskey.
Again, I'm the kid who lives here.
Sorry, man.
You have one of those easy-to-forget faces.
- Don't worry.
- I know how to take a little bit without letting anybody find out.
And just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier Of course I love Maya Angelou.
And all the other Supremes.
Yeah, excuse me, I-I need to talk to my friend.
Dean, what are you doing, man? She was into me.
This better be good.
- She's 17.
I doubt she's into you.
- Yeah? - Then why was she staring at my 'stache? - Look.
Broderick's friends are out of control.
Then tell them to leave.
But I-I-I can't tell them to leave.
Then Broderick will get mad and they won't think I'm cool.
Dean, listen, man.
You're already not cool.
They're gonna find out sooner or later.
Might as well be now.
It just seems like another example of American imperialism, and guys like you are just pawns in a global chess game.
Uh, hold it right there.
My brother is not a pawn.
You have no idea the sacrifices he's made.
I had never heard Kim defend Bruce like that before.
I think Bruce was surprised, too.
Look, there may be some truth to what you're saying, but y'all wasn't in the front lines.
Trust me, doing this doesn't stop bullets, and it doesn't save lives.
But I apologize, man.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for this to get so heated.
Are you kidding? This has been a gas.
You're a smart cat.
And I meant no disrespect.
You had every right to lay it on me.
Next time, I'll keep it mellow.
Next time Cool.
I got it.
I got it.
Just k-k-keep on saloning.
Hey, guys.
Uh, hey, guys, it's getting kind of late.
Maybe we should start wrapping things up.
Hey, guys, it's Everybody get the hell out of my house! Aren't you glad you're not the kid who lives here? Just leave.
Let's go! Come on! In philosophy class in college, I studied the Prisoner's Dilemma.
But growing up with siblings, I already knew the best strategy was to sing like a canary.
Dean, get in here! I promise you this is all Kim and Bruce's fault.
They're the ones Save it.
They already ratted you out.
We are so disappointed in you.
You let strangers into our house! Underage strangers with beer! This is so unlike you.
You and your sister ruined a perfectly good evening.
Your mother's work dinner went great, then we have to come home to this? I swear it wasn't my fault.
I-I didn't even want those kids in there.
So they just magically appeared? Or did you forget how to talk? Both those excuses were way higher on my list than I'm comfortable admitting.
So I decided to come clean.
I j I just wanted them to think I was cool.
Were they blind? What's wrong with being yourself? "Just be yourself.
" Ageless wisdom that's just as true now as it has ever been.
Nah, buddy, she was gonna have to come harder than that today.
You kidding me?! You have no idea what seventh grade is like! That will never work! I've been myself all year, all my life, and where has it gotten me? Watch your tone.
It's okay, Bill.
Let him speak his mind.
And, of course, you would think "just be yourself" would work.
You're always yourself, and people love you for it.
The whooping window is closing.
Pretty soon it's gonna be more for me than him.
Dean, I wish those things you said about me were accurate, but they're not.
I am not always true to myself.
Like at dinner tonight, for example.
You were great.
They loved you.
I-Is this still about the dress? Because that didn't matter at all.
I wish it ended up being as simple as whether or not to wear this dress, but the truth is, I was afraid to speak my mind about the deal they're making with this client.
Really? I thought you were fully on board.
It's a horrible idea.
The client is too big and the firm is too small to pull it off, not even with my help.
Well, I definitely couldn't have gotten that second dessert if you'd have said all that.
So you didn't say anything either? No.
'Cause I was making justifications every step of the way.
Just to have a place in the firm.
And it may not be seventh-grade hard, but tomorrow, I'm going to talk to the partners and tell them the deal is a bad idea.
And moving forward, I'm going to dress the way I want and speak my mind, whether they like it or not.
And if they're so progressive, they can handle it.
Let's drink to that.
Does somebody want to explain why my whiskey tastes like root beer? I'm so proud of you, Mom.
Mama was true to her word.
She met with Cedric and the partners the next day.
So I decided to follow her example and see what happens.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends, but the truth is, I-I wasn't having fun.
I was so happy when your parents broke up that party.
- You were? - Yeah, everyone was telling me and Keisa to go to the make-out room.
It wasn't cool.
She's a nice girl.
But they're your friends.
Why didn't you just tell them to stop? In that moment, I realized that Broderick was not that different from me.
He had the same insecurities I did about fitting in.
And let's face it If one of us was gonna lose his cool cred, it was a much steeper fall for him.
There's a new "Star Trek" tonight if you want to come watch.
I can dig it.
Did you hear? Franklin got busted for having a beer.
He's grounded until the ninth grade.
Franklin? Ah, Franklin, Franklin.
I'm drawing a blank on his face.
I see.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Cedric, but if that's how the other partners feel Yes, I agree it's best we go our separate ways.
Thanks for telling me yourself.
I'm I'm sorry, Lil.
That's just Well, I'm just sorry.
Don't just stand there.
Go put your things away so you can go with me to my old office to help me pack up the rest of my boxes.
It's part of your punishment.
Thanks for helping, Cliff.
Of course.
Uh I'm not gonna know what to do around here without you, Lil.
I'm gonna go ahead and put this stuff in the car.
Nice to see you again.
Boy, do we miss you.
I mean, the place is already falling apart without you.
Well, thanks for saying that.
No, I I mean it.
Look, I know you've already accepted the new job, but is there any way you'd consider staying? If I were to get you more money? Oh, he he doesn't Well, the new company is paying me 15% more than I made here.
I think I can match that.
And they said I'd have more responsibility and room for advancement.
You know, there's a project to reorganize the Birmingham office.
Well, you'd have to be on the road a lot, but if you did a good job, the higher-ups would definitely take notice, and you could work yourself up the ladder.
It's a deal.
Thank you.
I still think the advice to "just be yourself" is as cliché as it gets.
But what my mom really taught me was to be the best version of myself that I could be.
You know what, Lil? Uh, I was thinking on the way to the car, and, um, this ain't right.
No, no.
No, this ain't right.
- Mr.
Davidson! - Uh.
No, no, no, let let let Let me handle this.
Okay? Man-to-man.
Cliff Mr.
Davidson! Yes, Cliff? We cannot let this woman leave.
Okay? She is too vital of an asset to this company.
Uh, Cliff, I don't think you under No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
L-Listen to me.
We need to give her whatever she needs to make her stay.
Hell, she can have my parking spot.
Oh, he he doesn't know that Fine, Cliff.
She gets your spot.
Welcome back.
You're welcome.
Uh, uh, M-Mr.
Davidson? Uh, I'm I'm sorry.
I All that, even without wearing that dress.

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