The Wrong Girl (2016) s02e09 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 9 & 10

1 I'm breaking up with Alice.
You're all I think about.
MIMI: I was just very happy that Vincent was getting back to some normality with with Alice.
We've got a Gold Logie nominee on the floor.
- Jack also got nominated Gold.
- Get out! He's been in love with Lily forever.
Pete told you that.
Are you in love with Pete? - No.
- You are.
Lily, he's left! Hi, you've called Jack.
Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you.
I know her, better than she thinks I know her.
If you want me to call and explain that we're not anything anymore I want it on the record that I disagree with that assessment.
Here she comes now, saying Mony Mony.
So thrilled to be joining you live from the red carpet at Aussie television's night of nights.
The atmosphere here is positively electric.
Hey, hey! Nikkii from The Breakfast Bar.
- How fantastic do you look? - I know! Although I do sometimes wonder how dresses like this hold it all together.
It's a wing and a prayer.
Well, you have a great night.
Lovely to see you.
Thank you, and you too.
Oh, you're on my dress.
(SCREAMS) Excuse me! Oh! - Hey.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Yeah, um, good.
Good, just watched the final mix of the pilot.
Oh, good.
So that's all happening, yeah? Well, Jeremy said the light is amber with green little twinkly bits in it.
Yeah, about the launch, what I said, when I started to drunkenly babble, I'm going to invoke the traditional excuses of intoxication and heartbreak.
That's cool.
I just figured that your emotionally unstable declaration cancelled out my emotionally unstable declarations.
- So we're even? - Yeah, let's go with that.
We don't need to talk about it anymore? No, no, not unless you want to.
- No.
- Good.
Great.
(ELEVATOR DINGS) Actually, I'm going in there with you.
Oh, right, sorry.
Go for it.
You want to produce the Logies' wrap-up show? Are you on crack? It's the worst gig in television.
I see it as a chance to flex a different set of muscles.
In an effort to marry something, you're marrying your work.
Okay You all right? You know what? I was this close to buying a treadmill desk because sitting is the new sugar, which was the new gluten.
And then I thought, why not lie down? Where's the science this is killing me? You're amazing.
You're my inspiration.
You know that? All right, but I've got no money for something that won't rate, not with upstairs threatening cuts across the board.
It'll rate.
And your team's on-board for this masochistic exercise? Absolutely.
For the love of God, no.
Guys, we are still going to the Logies.
To toil under the mountain like Tolkien's dwarves.
But, Lily, I've already chosen a killer frock.
And you can still wear your frock, and the next morning, you can interview other frock wearers about their frocks.
Frock me! Liam, you're on interviews.
I don't want the usual "I'm just happy to be nominated" crap.
I want deepest fears.
Like Faustian pacts and near-death experiences and poverty on the road to success? Yes.
So many spilled guts, the red carpet will need steam cleaning.
Gross, but yes.
Where's Alice? Mental health day.
Really? Did she say anything? No.
I've been trying to confirm interviews with the nominees, but I'm having a little trouble pinning down well, Jack.
Ah, stuff him.
He's with a different network now, anyway.
No, no.
If he wins the Gold, it's basically for his work here at The Breakfast Bar.
We have to get the interview.
Want me to keep trying? I'll handle it.
I'll handle it.
Okay.
Sweepstakes in ten? Well, I think it's great that you're meeting up with Jack.
You know, hashing things out.
No, there's nothing to hash out.
It's all been hashed.
But you need to formalise a separation, you know? Brexit style, like me and Vincent.
But you're not with Vincent.
Well, no, but I will be after he breaks up with Alice.
Except I won't be because I'm going to ditch him pre-emptively.
What? Hang on.
So Vincent's definitely breaking up with Alice? No.
Because I'm going to pre-emptively put a stop to that too.
At the risk of asking a stupid question, do you not want to be with Vincent? Well, yes.
I mean, no.
Ish.
Told her.
Need a drink.
You didn't? He already did? Yeah.
I guess you've got yourself a relationship.
Hmm.
- ERICA: Lily! - I gotta go.
What's going on? They've been running sweepstakes.
It's just a little bit of harmless fun.
Show her, Dale.
Get rid of it.
I know that I'm a rank outsider in this, but would it kill you all just to show a little bit of support? Hmm? It's hard enough to get out there, smile in front of those cameras every morning, pretending that I've got a hope of winning the Gold.
Erica, we support you 100%.
33 to 1.
- Ouch.
- Yep, and that's being generous.
You should have seen the betting sites.
Keep her offline.
I can't afford a meltdown, not pre-awards, not mid-awards, not at all! How would you like me to achieve that? I don't know, just keep her happy and ignorant.
- I have to go.
- You look nice.
Is that for the ex? No, it's for myself.
We can do a reshoot.
We can get Lee to, ah, setup down there.
Maybe change your clothes.
What do you think? Yeah.
Whatever you need.
And you'll have, we hope, the cover, so it will be a three page spread.
Hi.
Hi.
Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
I'm Lily.
Hi.
Sorry, Charlotte.
Do you mind if we take a break? Just two minutes? No worries.
She seems like a fan.
Yeah.
We'll see when the interview comes out.
It's good of you to meet me.
No problem.
Well, not good.
It's basic human decency to agree to finally talk to the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with.
- Lil - What? You're asking me the favour.
Right.
Um (CLEARS THROAT) so obviously we're trying to lock down interviews with all the Gold Logie nominees before the ceremony.
I thought maybe we could do yours at the pre-party drinks.
Fine, sounds great.
Really? Great.
Okay.
That's it? You want me to sign anything? That's it.
Okay, wait.
How are you? Really.
Never better.
Are you staying at the house? No.
- Okay.
Yep.
- Okay.
See you tomorrow.
Okay.
So I'd just like everyone to pause and make sure we're entering the conversation space respectfully this time.
- Absolutely.
Absolutely.
- (KNOCK AT DOOR) I'll get it.
Because that's what I've been thinking.
We're actually on the same side, right? We both want what's best for Manisha.
Nothing's more important.
And so we agree she needs both parents around.
In an ideal world, yes.
But this is A once in a lifetime opportunity.
- For the family.
- So you've said.
- Hi, hey, hi.
Hi, everyone.
- Lily? Hi.
Sorry, I thought, um I thought we could all that all of us celebrate Pete's new show.
But obviously I am interrupting.
So, it's fine.
- I'll go.
- No, Lily, stay, please.
You can give us a fresh perspective.
Do you think I'm a bad parent? - Oh? - What? - I mean - Are you kidding? No! I want you to be my dad.
Not really, no.
- But you're a wonderful dad.
- You are.
And no one's questioning your parenting skills, Pete.
But you know that I've got a lot more support in London.
Most of my family are there, and that's got to be part of the equation.
Yeah, so what is it? Three cousins equals one biological father? And what about a granddad? Is that like two aunties? We're more than happy for you to stay with us in London.
Because immigrating to Britain is such an easy thing to do.
Look, I already moved here.
How many hoops do you want me to jump through just to stay part of my daughter's life? - Pete.
- What? Everyone knows you're trying to stay part of Manisha's life.
Everyone knows you're her dad.
- Do they? - Yeah.
So why don't you start again, bearing that in mind? Okay, thanks, Lily.
I mean, that's what Mitchell and I are trying to say.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
I know this might sound basic.
Have you tried weighing up, like, a list of pros and cons, here versus London? - That's a good idea.
- Great idea.
Do we need a white board for that? Draw some diagrams? I'm just trying to take the emotion out of it.
Emotion out of my daughter leaving? That helps how? I know that when Jack and I split Good, we're talking about Jack, and not No, she's just trying to help.
I'm trying to keep my daughter from leaving.
- Pete! - I need air or something.
Ready, camera one.
Well, thanks for filling us in on the progress of your documentary.
Pleasure, guys, pleasure.
Hey, who knew the plight of the world's poor could be so interesting? Plus, it's taken you to some amazing travel destinations.
That tan! What? The tan? (LAUGHS) Slip, slop, slap! (LAUGHS) No, you're right, Nikkii, amazing destinations.
And I know it looks really cold here, and believe me it is, but I've got to tell you, the women of Kyrgyzstan have been unbelievably warm.
They've opened their furs to him.
Oh! (LAUGHS) I love this guy.
Eric, it appears that we're losing the satellite, mate, so we'll have to wrap that up.
How'd it go with Jack? - We got the interview.
- Guys, you still there? Before I go, I just wanted to say, Erica, good luck in your quest for Gold tonight.
Go, Erica, go! Oh, thank you, Eric.
I'm gonna need it.
See you, guys! And make sure you tune in same time tomorrow as we go over the winners and the losers.
I am, of course, talking about the fashion.
And Liam, I believe you're going to be prowling the red carpet tonight.
Yes, that's it.
Armed with a microphone and very, very dangerous.
Ooh, like a tiger! Celebs, look out! Oh, well, until tomorrow, goodbye from The Breakfast Bar.
And we're out.
Okay.
T-minus six hours until the red carpet kicks off.
I want everyone ready to go within the hour.
- Let's have a great Logies - Yes! everyone.
I will see you on the red carpet.
And make sure you vox pop me.
I've been dieting hard for tonight, and I want these cheekbones to be on record.
Okay? Thank you.
Oh, my, look.
It's 800 kilometres long, Ivan.
With a tent and a billy on our backs, we'll be on our last legs.
Billy? Not going droving, we'll be staying in guest houses.
- Oh, will we? - Oh, yeah.
There'll be wine and cheese and dancing.
What's not to love? This sort of dancing.
Careful, you're going to get too hyperglycaemic.
Have you taken your diabetes medication? (SIGHS) Oh, who remembers? (LAUGHS) - Oh, it's little Nishi! - Oh, hello! - Hello.
Hello, gorgeous girl.
- Sweetie.
Yep, and I'm your son, Pete.
No? (LAUGHS) Hello, gorgeous.
I know.
You've come to see us.
You've come to see us.
(GIGGLES) So how was it tonight with Meredith? Yeah, no.
Not good.
About DEFCON 2, could go nuclear.
I think I might need legal advice.
No, mate, no.
Whatever you do, don't involve those bloodsuckers.
They're nothing but vultures.
Well, he might have to, Ivan.
Look, don't you remember what happened to your mum and me? They turned us against each other.
And after that, I barely saw you for years.
So your extremely occasional parenting style, that was the lawyer's fault, was it? Just 'cause I was wrong then doesn't mean I'm wrong now.
Don't be a goose.
Go to London with them.
Yeah, that's what Mitchell said.
Oh, well, he's not an idiot.
You should see his house.
Dad, I just can't go across the world.
I've got things going on here.
You know, the show's about to launch.
- What show? - My show.
You know, the screener I gave you.
Yeah, yeah, I'm about to get to that.
Okay, good.
Well, I'm going to leave you guys to it.
But thank you for looking after her.
See you, sweetie.
- It's our pleasure.
- Thank you.
I hope it goes well tonight.
Uh, highly unlikely, but thank you.
You! - Did I set what? - Oh, Ivan.
Oh, silly, silly Grandpa.
It's itchy.
It's cutting off my circulation.
And I love it.
I know break-ups suck the big one, do I know.
But we're covering the preshow drinks, then the show, then the after-party.
Basically, tonight's a freight train, and I need your help keeping it on its tracks.
You don't have to worry about me, Lil.
Okay, yes, I see his face every time I look at yours, but if you can bury emotions at work so can I.
I wouldn't say I buried them.
I'm here until the last stop.
Choo-choo.
Choo-choo.
This is unbelievable.
One site had me as dead last yesterday.
These are the only guys worth listening to.
I think they're Russian hackers.
Thank you.
What was that all about? Five minutes, everyone.
Final checks.
I had one of the I girls do up a website.
According to Logies Leaks, Erica's favourite for the gold.
You fed her fake news? That's genius.
How do I look? I guess it'll have to do.
You ready to go be wildly controversial, yet completely inoffensive? I will occupy the tiny sliver of that Venn diagram.
Okay.
Breakfast Bar team, we are going to the Logies.
(NIKKII CHEERS) - You're going to do us proud.
- Yes! Yes? Ladies.
Alice.
Seriously, if you ask Jack about his love life, I will take you out.
You don't have to be there.
Okay, somebody else could wrangle him.
I can handle Jack Winters.
Wow.
Sorry, I'm just going to have to keep saying that.
I'm glad you like it because my kidneys are currently scrunched up underneath my lungs.
What do you need oxygen for? Hey, can we agree to deal with life tomorrow, and tonight let's have as much fun as this dress allows.
We could just get rid of the dress.
No, that's fine, except you've actually got a ticket.
I'm just a dickhead loitering in the bar.
Apparently, that's where the fun begins.
Not all the fun.
Excuse me.
Yep, hi Yep.
No, you go.
Go.
Just have some fun.
Hi.
Can you hide from Jeremy? He wants me to schmooze.
Oh, but you're so good at it, all the small talk.
- Remembering people's names.
- That handshake of yours.
I do have a powerful shake.
It's not as good as Mark Latham's, but Last night was fairly awful.
Sorry, we shouldn't have roped you in.
Oh, no, you didn't rope me in.
I roped myself in.
I self-roped.
So thrilled to be joining you here live on the red carpet at Aussie television's night of Hey! Hey! Hey, Liam.
Liam! How about a plug for Life is Not a Love Song? Ah, no, we're good, thanks.
Hey, come on! We're the hot new show on the network.
Liam Sure.
Yep.
(CLEARS THROAT) Right.
What do you say to critics who claim that you stole the idea from beloved Estonian variety show, Elu On Muusika? I'm sorry? Well, apparently, your pilot was leaked online, and the Twitterverse has noticed some similarities.
What's he talking about? I don't know what he's talking about.
You have a great night.
Lovely to see you.
Liam, you're always the prankster.
Oh, you're on my dress.
- Sorry.
- (RIPPING) - Oh! - (SCREAMS) - Hey! Hey! - Excuse me! (SCREAMS) Get off! I'm a producer.
I'm not a crazy fan! I'm a producer.
You're being such a guy about this.
Sitting there enjoying your flat white.
Hot piece of ass on your arm.
Not a care in the world.
Meanwhile, Alice is somewhere probably just sobbing on the bathroom floor.
I just don't think she is.
She took it pretty well.
It was a very surgical break-up.
Surgical, as in cold? As in clean.
What about if you left something inside her? What, like a baby? No! Like, I don't know, memories of you.
- Feelings, a scar.
- Sim, I'm sure she'll rally.
What should I have done? What was I supposed to do? Sim, has something put you off this? It's a bit burnt.
Not the coffee, Sim, us.
(MOBILE PHONE CHIMES) - Can that wait, please? - Oh! It's an SOS from Lily.
Fashion crisis.
I should go.
Sims, wait, sit back down, please.
I should take this.
SOS.
Sim, what scared you? 'Cause this isn't just about Alice.
Nothing.
I just want you to know that if this is the right decision, in terms of your future stability.
My stability? Because that is important.
Have you been talking to my mother? No.
I mean, yeah.
Of course, I love her.
I talk to her all the time.
(SIGHS) If you can get past the smocks and the Baltic polka, there is a soupçon of similarity.
And you definitely haven't seen this before? Have I plagiarised our show? Is that seriously what you're asking me? No! PB.
Of course, you haven't.
- I'll get you another.
- Yeah, thanks.
Very hot contender for the Gold Logie tonight, Jack.
Why does everyone love you so much, mate? Mate, thanks for putting me the spot.
No, I'm being serious.
I don't know if I see the appeal.
Okay.
All I can say is I'm very passionate about food, and it's wonderful that so many people share that passion.
Right.
Speaking of passion, you and your lovely co-host used to be an item.
Jill's one of my oldest friends.
It's an absolute privilege working alongside her every day.
She's the reason I'm here.
- Well, good luck.
- Thanks, Liam.
That was great, thanks.
I'd go more with banal and superficial, but So I can go? Is this how it's going to be from now on? I just gave you what you wanted, Lil.
Okay.
Now you can go back to punishing me.
Thanks.
Whatever, fine.
I'm gonna go find Nikkii.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm punishing you? Uh if anyone has a right to be angry here, it's me.
- You left.
- You really want to do this now? No, I don't.
I did what you did not have the guts to do.
Oh, right.
Because smoke-bombing a wedding takes so much courage.
You are not the only injured party here.
Oh, that's right, I forgot.
Shit only ever happens to Lily Woodward.
The rest of us have to roll with it, don't we? Collateral damage in your life.
Is that how it works? Save it for the after-party, mate.
Yeah? At least I wasn't hedging my bets.
You think I'm emotionally closed off? You had one foot out the door the whole time, isn't that right, Pete? - Ah - Leave him alone.
Yeah.
And there he is, waiting in the wings, as usual.
- Jack.
- Just settle down, mate.
- I am not your mate.
- Okay.
Let's talk about this later.
No, no, I think we are done.
Wouldn't you say? Mate, get out of here.
Take a walk.
If seeing me as the bad guy makes you feel better, Lil, go for it.
- You got anything else to say? - Yeah, piss off.
MC: And the Graham Kennedy Award for Most Outstanding Newcomer goes to And make sure Dad puts an extra layer on her tonight.
I think there's a sleep sack in the dryer.
MIMI: Yes, yes, I will.
And, um Oh, by the way, we we saw your show pilot.
I loved it.
And so did your Dad.
He thought the stories were really interesting and uplifting.
Dad said that? I couldn't stand the bloody show.
It was a load of fluff! Yeah.
I better go, but can you give Manisha a goodnight kiss for me? - Bye.
- Thanks.
Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Have you seen Jack? - Uh, no.
Maybe he's inside already.
(SIGHS) Dad reckons I should pack it all in and move to London.
What do you think? Well, apart from that being a shitty thing to ask me like I have no vested interest You're right, sorry.
Sorry.
I think you should stay.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Like you said last night, Meredith could move around forever.
You could stay here, get your life back.
You're not tied to her.
But I'll always be tied to Manisha.
Well, I didn't actually And letting her go doesn't feel like freedom.
It feels like the exact opposite.
So what are we talking? Is it like a nipple slip or? Full bazoonga blowout.
Nikkii's fired the entire wardrobe department.
- Can she do that? - No, she can't.
But she's refusing to try any more of their clothes.
Which means you're a star.
You're a supernova.
- I know.
- Is that my wedding dress? Well, to be fair, I had three minutes to find Logies worthy couture, so.
You okay? Pete or Jack? That question! I'm sick of thinking about either of them.
Nikkii's in the green room.
Just follow the sounds of the sobbing, and I'll be right in.
I'll take you.
I thought you were back with Erica.
No, Nikkii said she needed me.
Those are beautiful.
You're like crazy talented, Sim.
Oh, I'm.
Really? Lily? (SNAPS FINGERS) In here.
Don't click at me! You left.
- You really want to do this here? - No, I don't.
I just did what you didn't have the guts to do.
Right, because smoke-bombing a wedding takes so much courage.
Anything else to add, Jack? Yeah, piss off! This is a scoop.
Golden boy falls of wagon, goes off rails.
It is news.
Muckraking.
We play that, we look like we goaded Jack into it.
We goaded? Fine, I goaded.
Look, if he wasn't your ex-groom or man candy or whatever, you would be playing it on repeat.
No.
No, I really wouldn't.
No, forget it.
I'm not singling him out for public humiliation.
- I won't do it.
- Who said single him out? We should own it, all of it.
Jack behaving badly, Nikkii's norkage.
crash tackling producers.
- Plagiarised reality TV pilots.
- No.
No one cares about that.
No.
People want red meat.
They want scandal, outrage.
People also want to return to public hangings.
- Do we give that to them? - I don't know.
It's not terrible.
No, no.
Jeremy's idea, not the public hangings.
We could turn the wrap-up show as a kind of behind the facade spectacular.
Yes! Yes, Liam! Bingo! No.
We're going to get Jack to redo his interview.
- (SIGHS) - That's cutting it fine.
(PHONE RINGS) Hello? Hey.
Um have you seen Jack? No, I'm back at the office.
Why? What's happened? Um look, if he bails, it's it's not a good look.
Okay.
I'll make some calls.
Stand by.
We need to come up with a name for the interview couch.
- "Chaise Longue of Shame".
- Or "Sofa of Truth".
Something with the red carpet Jeremy.
Yeah, your idea doesn't entirely suck, but you are a lousy editor.
You need to call Dale.
He'll help you whip it into shape.
- Where are you going? - To find Jack.
- Oh.
- Everything all right? Oh, just Vincent.
I need to go talk to him.
And you need to call your son and tell him you liked his show.
But I didn't.
Why would I go to the Camino with the most stubborn man on the planet? Call Pete! Or no sex for you tonight.
I didn't know that was on the cards.
And in case you hadn't noticed, Pete's a very good dad.
You could learn something from him.
Hey, this is Pete.
Leave a message.
Ah, g'day, mate, it's me.
It's your dad.
I think Mims might have mentioned it.
(CLEARS THROAT) Um, I saw the show.
Not bad.
Um, you know, with a bit of work, you might really have something.
(LAUGHS) Not that you should take advice from me.
You were always much smarter than I was.
And whatever you decide to do in the future, you know I'll support it.
I love you.
Uh, so call me back if you wanna.
Jack? It's me.
Shit! Jack! ANTHONY: I just needed somewhere to crash.
Yvonne's pulled down the tent, darl.
She's torn up the guy ropes of my heart.
All gone, it's all over, darl, it's finished.
Anyway, I'll go, darl.
I'll get that - No, it's fine.
Hey, it's fine.
Come rest.
- I'll get an Uber.
I'll have a drink.
Of water.
Have you seen Jack? If he comes back here, can you please get him to call me straightaway? All right, darl.
I'll call you straightaway.
Yeah.
What happened, Lil? Lil? What happened? MC: Ladies and gentlemen, there will be a three minute break before we Look at Logie Leaks, four to one.
That is striking distance.
Now, what do you think of my speech? Uh, just this bit.
"To all the execs, male and female, "who thought a pregnant lesbian over 40 "wouldn't hold an audience Australian television, "sit on this.
" In brackets, hold up Logie.
No? Oh, come on.
They'll all be three sheets by then.
I want it to cut through.
What is it? What is it? Nerves? The foetus I need to puke.
I need to pee.
- Bathroom? - Yep, there.
I'll be I'll just be here.
Okay.
This may be the PTSD talking, but I think I look incredible.
You're good at this.
Thanks.
MC: The Logie for Best News and Current Affairs, The Project.
Hey.
Hey, I was thinking, I brought some extra options for Nikkii, so maybe I could put you in one for the after-party.
Nah, I think I'm just going to go home.
No, no, no, no.
You should stay.
Hey, who do you think that it was, the other woman? I mean, she's probably the opposite of me, right? So like tall, super skinny, stylish.
Hey, when you meet her, I wanna see pictures.
Alice, my G-string's stuck in my zip.
Hey.
Hey, want to see something hilarious? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I do.
- Check this out.
This is a show I've meant to have ripped off.
Oh, my god! Elu On Muusika! - Oh, how I've missed you.
- What? - Yeah, Elu On Muusika.
- Have you seen this? Remember that terrible rave that we went to at Kryal Castle? And Lily was outside having a D & M with a guy who was crying about being adopted.
And then they were projecting this in the chill-out room.
And we were there for hours.
Yeah, la-la-la-la-la.
Elu on muusika Shit.
Jeremy wants an answer stat on the new Jack interview.
There isn't going to be an interview.
I'm still looking for Jack.
You need to stall Jeremy until I get back.
That's easier said than done.
I would have thought you'd appreciate some alone time with your boy crush.
I refuse to respond to that.
Unless Jack's next interview is naked and off his chops, nothing's going to beat what we already got.
Will you be straight with me for once? Not without shock treatment.
The real reason you want to use the tape is not because it's juicy.
It's because you want to stick it to Lily.
And the reason I know this is because you've come up with ten better segments since she left.
When you're not trying desperately to be the smartest producer in the room, you're actually reasonably smart.
Okay.
I'll scrap it.
- So? - So I'm a thief! - I stole the entire idea.
- No, you didn't.
- So it's similar - No, it's not similar.
It's identical, but in funny voices.
I'm a plagiarist.
I'm a hack.
Did I steal the idea of a cooking show? Did JK Rowling steal the idea of wizards? You know, what the actual fuck I've been doing this entire time? I'm looking around.
I don't even want to work in TV.
Who are these people? Why are all the men in my life such flakes? I mean, Jack's about to bail on the biggest night of his career, and you're about to blow what presumably is the best opportunity, yes, that you've ever had.
I'm not bailing.
I'm just moving on from a show that I stole because it's the right thing to do.
No.
(LAUGHS) Moving to London, that's the right thing to do.
Staying here and creating something, that's the right thing to do.
This this is just flaking.
I've never seen you annoyed before.
Yeah? Well, I can't breathe, so my usual diplomacy skills are just I kind of like it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I mean, not the not breathing thing.
I'm not into that.
But (LAUGHS) So you know the part that I said before, I mean, I did mean it.
About you being free without Manisha.
I mean, the horrible, super-selfish part of me It's okay.
None of this stuff's easy.
I'd help.
I just want you to know that.
If, you know, it would make things easier with the lawyer, if that's what you really want to do.
I couldn't.
Oh, thank you, but I I don't need you to do that.
Okay.
But I would.
I would help.
Thanks.
Hey, I thought I might find you here.
- Really? - Yep.
No, well I thought that about the last six places that I looked.
I mean, did you know I realised we never had a go-to place? Do you think that's is that one of the things that was going wrong with us? Maybe.
Everyone's freaking out about you.
What are you doing here? Well, I'm thinking whether I drink that or head back.
Or both.
I don't know.
Your makeup's running.
Ha-ha.
Also FYI, there's a drunk, heartbroken middle-aged man, my dad, asleep at your house.
Our house.
Do you want to know a secret? - When we blew up before - Not our finest moment.
No.
But I kind of liked it.
Not I mean, I wasn't there thinking, "Oh, wow, this is so fun.
" But it felt honest.
Maybe we should have tried that a bit more.
That's you in a nutshell, you know, mistaking conflict for honesty.
Says you, the perfectionist.
You needed someone perfect.
You're terminally fickle.
You needed at least three husbands.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, maybe.
- At least the sex was good.
- The sex was so good.
- We could have gone pro.
- Yeah.
The first time we kissed I thought to myself "This is it.
"I want to kiss this man the rest of my life.
" Just so we're clear, that kiss was - Just a goodbye kiss.
- Just, yeah, a full stoppy "Yours sincerely" kiss.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
It was a really nice kiss.
- It was like full-bodied.
- Yeah.
- With feeling.
- Something to remember.
Yeah.
I am really sorry.
I realise I haven't said that to you yet.
I'm truly sorry for everything that happened.
Me too.
Shit, you have to go.
We have to get back.
Yes? No, not just to clear my conscience, because you deserve it, all of your success.
Okay, if you insist, Woodward.
You did create me.
Yes.
I did.
- So? - Oh-ho! Right? I mean, screw the after-party.
In this dress, I should be booty calling Vincent.
Hmm.
Mmm Yes, in theory.
But when I left, he was looking pretty tired, so he's probably in bed.
That is kind of the point of a booty call, though.
Yeah.
It's like why should I just accept the situation? He can't just destroy something for no reason.
I at least deserve a frickin' reason.
I'm the reason.
Yeah.
Um, I'm the reason that he broke up with you.
It's me.
It's all me.
I'm the other woman.
Alice! - Logie Leaks, it isn't a thing.
- What? Just tell me, what are my real chances of winning? I love Simone, you know I do.
But I do I worry about you, and being with somebody so flighty.
Flighty? You want to talk about flighty? Do I have to bring up the Bernard incident? What? No! Good.
'Cause I'm unbelievably scarred from that.
Oh, please.
It was an accident.
which I don't regret because it helped re-centre me in my sexual power.
Oh, God, Mum.
No.
But now I am with Ivan.
Yes, and I'm happy for you.
So how about this? What about a little quid pro quo? I like Simone's it.
If I have my way, then she's my forever, Mum.
So - Yeah.
- Yeah.
That's that's very romantic, darling.
Um And Ivan wants me to go overseas with him.
And I'd like to go, but Ugh.
it is very risky, this falling for people.
You should go, Mum.
Yeah, I think I might.
- And make things right with Sim.
- Yes.
Or I'm not talking to you.
Oh Well, come on, then, let me see it.
(SIGHS) It's a commitment ring.
Carol got it for me.
Kind of unnecessary, given the parasite growing inside me.
Commitment enough, eh? It's nice, though.
I've missed that angry wit.
You know what? I shouldn't be talking to you, really.
Because they've asked me to present the Gold Logie over Skype.
Yes, so I've heard.
In fact, I don't think you can see it, but Anara's setting it all up for me now.
Eric, you know I'm not going to win.
I know.
Technically, I wasn't supposed to look in the envelope, I get that.
But I was trying to avoid a Moonlight/La La Land kind of situation, you know? Um (CLEARS THROAT) I just really wanted it, you know? I mean, what if this is it, you know? First step into obscurity.
You listen to me.
This is not a rejection of you.
All right? It's not.
It's just It's just someone else's moment, that's all.
I don't think I can pretend to be happy for someone else's moment.
Yes, you can.
And you will.
Do you know why? Because you're Australia's favourite lefty lesbian expectant mother.
(SNICKERS) Now, you get in there, you smile like a maniac.
Tomorrow come out fighting! Okay.
Good luck.
ANNOUNCER: Tonight's entry into the Logies' Hall of Fame Excuse me.
Have they announced the Gold yet? No? Quick, get in there.
Get in there.
I I did love you.
That's why I wanted to marry you.
And you loved someone else more and there was nothing I could do about it.
Jack! Go! Crazy, crazy, stupid man.
I'm not letting you out of my sight.
Get in there.
I'll see you at the after-party.
(APPLAUSE) ANNOUNCER: We need television.
I invite you now Hey, all good? You made up with Jack? Something like that.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, maybe I'll see you at the after-party.
Yep.
Pete, wait.
Are we good? Uh, you keep asking that.
It's like we're - Yeah.
- in a loop or Yeah, like a hamster wheel.
- Are we? - I don't know.
- Do you think we are? - I don't know.
I I am sorry.
I shouldn't have taken Meredith's side.
I just think we expect too much from each other.
You know, it's like good when we were 20, but now it takes up a lot of space.
I guess the half-arsed declarations probably don't help.
No.
No.
They kind of make things messier.
Can we still be friends, at least? In a clean, like, uncluttered space? You don't need to catastrophise.
- I'm not catastrophising.
- Of course we can be friends.
- I just think that - You just said things are messy.
No, I know, but I just think less.
Less could be healthy.
Yeah, that's no, that's a good idea.
Was it Gillian's? Sorry, bad joke.
That was a generic statement, not a loaded question.
- All good? - Good.
Great.
- See you there? - All good.
- Maybe.
Bye.
- All right, bye.
Oh! Such a gorgeous gown.
I'm still awestruck by that one.
- Alice, package ready to roll.
- (BURPS) Oh! Well, although not everyone got lucky last night, some very special people did, particularly one of our own Breakfast Bar alumni.
And friends, speaking from experience, with great awards comes great responsibility.
And this year, that responsibility falls upon (ENVELOPE RUSTLES) Ah.
Wonderful.
Jack Winters.
(APPLAUSE) Wow.
Um Moments like these are built by many, many amazing people, and I would like to thank everyone at The Breakfast Bar for giving me my start.
In particular, producer Lily Woodward who saw something in me that I didn't, and I wouldn't be here without her and I'm a better man for knowing her.
- (APPLAUSE) - Thank you! That's what I call event television.
Laughter, tears, public shaming, what more could you want? I want to come back.
- Oh, hey, it's only a three-seater.
- (ALL LAUGH) I'm sure our viewers would like to see you behind the grill, Mr Johnson.
- (PHONE BUZZES) - Well, all in all Jeremy, can you take over? We hope you enjoyed our special coverage.
We'll catch you next Saturday.
Mum.
Mum.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry, we had the Logies and it's been absolutely mental.
- Did you see - Lil.
Lil, I've been trying to reach you.
We're at the hospital.
Why? What what's happened? - (SOBS) - Is it Dad? It's it's Ivan.
I found him on the floor last night.
He he was unconscious.
(SOBS) Well, is he gonna be okay? Where's Pete? What did they say? He's gone.
(SOBS) They think he took too many of his diabetes pills.
Said he probably forgot he had already taken them, and he just he went unconscious and Hey.
Hi.
We're just waiting for some forms.
Mm-hmm.
I'll harass the nurse again.
So.
So.
(DOOR OPENS) Pete, wait.
Are you sure you want to be in here right now? Come back to Mum's.
Or do you want to stay at Gillian's? Yeah, why don't you stay at mine tonight? Oh, no, I'm okay.
I, um There are people to call.
I should make a list, I don't wanna forget anyone.
Okay, I'll get some paper.
They gave us booklets, didn't they, for the funeral homes? Thanks.
Pete, you know you don't have to do everything - I'm okay.
- at all right now.
- I'm all right.
- You can just - You're not alone.
- Lil, I can't I don't think I can deal with you, on top of, um I mean, don't take it the wrong way, but I I don't want you here right now.
Yeah, okay, for sure.
Whatever you need.
What about, um, food? Is that a ridiculous concept? No, it sounds good.
I'm not hungry, but I'll see you guys later.
I'll check in.
Look after him.
I'll be in touch.
Take care.
Food sounds good.
(SOBS) Hey.
Thanks.
MIMI: Morning.
I woke up and I felt compelled to go for a jog.
At 5:46am? Uh-huh.
- While I was jogging on the beach - Yep.
I thought of the perfect song to add to Ivan's funeral playlist.
No, I'm not sure that there's gonna be a funeral playlist.
I believe there should be, and I think Sexy Eyes by Dr Hook should be on it.
Because Ivan said it reminded him of me.
I can see that.
Okay.
So, you'll talk to Pete? I really want to, but he doesn't want me around right now and I really have to try to respect that.
Lil, Pete needs you.
You don't take no for an answer.
I don't know what to say to him.
It doesn't matter.
You just keep showing up.
Okay? Thanks.
That's decaf.
It's much better for your heart.
Mmm! Mm-hmm! Ugh.
I'm not denying that living together doesn't have its advantages but, um, the longer that you're here on sort of the ground floor, the harder it is for me to shield you from the truth with the smoke and the mirrors.
What are you talking about? My 'je Ne sais quoi'.
My, um, whiff of mystery and intrigue.
It's very hard to sustain all the time.
(CHUCKLES) There's no mystery between us.
A testament to how well I maintain it.
Sim, I've nursed you back from overdoses.
I helped you steal an ex's car.
I've seen you queefing in time to music.
I know everything there is to know about you.
What did I do on my 16th birthday? You stole your mum's vibrator.
Still I'm worried.
- I'm very worried.
- Noted.
Poor Pete.
Yeah.
It's wrong that it's making us so horny.
Yeah, probably.
(PHONE RINGS) Look at this.
I said no to the update.
I didn't say maybe, I said no, and the thing updated itself.
So now I can't edit anything in my calendar.
Should this not be a job for your assistant? Yeah, well, he quit, didn't he? Stress leave.
24 years old.
Seriously? Sit down.
So, you made quite an impression upstairs with your Jack wrangling.
A lot of small swinging dicks were very impressed, so impressed they want you in the sandpit with the big boys.
Okay, I've got swinging dicks and big boys in a sandpit? They want you on weekdays.
I've just dropped a huge promotion on you, and you're sitting there with a face like a slapped ass.
Do you want it or not? No, of course! I'm I'm stunned.
Who would be taking my place at The Breakfast Bar? No one.
Oh, well, Jeremy's taking the reins for now.
So, there you are.
You've got a promotion, and I've got a board meeting in three minutes.
Congratulations.
Get out.
That speed's good for you.
It's working because everything is wobbling.
Yeah.
I want to do a crash zoom out, then crash zoom again! - Ooh.
Ooh.
Ah.
- It's the most dramatic way, I think.
What's happening? Rock-hard abs in eight days.
If you're not satisfied, they'll take them back.
Why are we doing infomercials? It's fairly straightforward, more infomercials, less meaningful-in-any-way content, more money for the big cheese.
Clearly it signals the end for all of us.
Except for you, obviously.
Congratulations on your promotion.
How do you know about that? Oh, we all know, Lily.
Congratulations.
It's really amazing.
I only just found out.
That's funny, 'cause I just found out that this is our last desperate shot before a mass-execution-style sacking.
- Who said that? - Michael from accounts.
Michael from accounts also predicted the world would end in the year 2000.
- So let's - He said the whole crew could go.
No one's safe.
NIKKII: Feel the burn! Do you know how much it costs to raise a child, Lily? Not off the top of my head, no.
Half a million dollars.
And that's if they've got good teeth.
JEREMY: Are you sure? - NIKKII: Don't.
- I think we can just have it up.
- Jeremy? - Yeah? Can I have a word? - What's up? - Why is everyone getting fired? No one's getting fired.
Good.
Not yet, anyway.
That's worst-case scenario.
We've just done some of our best shows ever.
Some of our most expensive shows ever.
Yeah, and we need to build on that momentum and focus on quality! People aren't watching weekend television anymore.
They're in cafes ordering half-double piccolos.
If you want to blame something, then blame baristas or podcasts.
TED Talks will ruin us all.
And this little reaction has nothing to do with your own show falling over? You're not trying to impress Dad by saving some dollars and throwing the rest of us under the bus? We are haemorrhaging.
And there is no us.
There's me, driving the bus with one hand whilst trying to staunch the bleeding with the other.
And where are you? Are you even on the bus? No, you're not, Lily.
You're not on the bus.
So Okay.
Okay, you get into bed.
Here we go.
There.
(BABY CRIES) We're so sorry, Pete.
He was a real character.
Salt of the earth.
Thanks.
I remember when we first met, and he made me feel so welcome.
And I know it's just so sad that Minnie, she won't grow up with Ivan in her life.
He was a wonderful grandpa.
Yeah, but the thing about that is, see, you always say the right things, but the truth is, if you'd had your way, he wouldn't be in her life, would he? He'd be here and she'd be in London.
If there's anything we can do You could not take my daughter away from me.
How about that? No? Didn't think so.
If we can just get through these next thr You should know I've hired a lawyer.
I've taken out an injunction.
She's not going anywhere.
(PHONE RINGS) (KNOCK AT DOOR) - Hey, mate.
- Hey.
Thought you could use some food.
Oh, thanks.
Just ravioli, it's nothing fancy.
(CLEARS THROAT) Anyway, I'll let you get back to it.
Uh, do you want to do you want to come in? Oh, no, that's okay, mate.
You've probably got I'd actually I could, um I could use another opinion.
Sure.
Of course.
Um, do you want a beer or something? - No, mate, I'm good.
- No, sorry, I Uh, yeah.
It's about as pointless as it gets, hey? Choosing what to wear to your own cremation.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
I should just donate these, but God knows who'd want 'em.
I don't know, I would have liked to see your old man in some flares.
Actually, you joke, but he wore flares to his wedding.
Yeah, did not turn out well, so Yeah, so I was thinking this one.
Yeah, it's Well, I like it.
Didn't know your dad was that formal, though.
Yeah, that's a that's a good point, actually.
Well, maybe like that but with the Doggies tie? Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
VOICEMAIL: Hey, this is Pete.
Leave a message.
Hey, so this is me respecting your space, or trying to.
Also knowing that by leaving this message, I'm failing to.
Anyway, I was thinking about that fishing trip we went on with your dad, and I can't really remember what happened.
It wasn't super eventful, was it? But I do remember it was really nice.
(VOICEMAIL BEEPS) We're in the share house and you're trying to defrost the freezer, and I grabbed a knife and shoved it into the back of the ice, and we hit the gas pipe.
We called your dad, and then he was like, "Get out of the house, you bloody idiots! "The thing is gonna blow up!" And we ran, 'cause we were convinced we were gonna be incinerated.
(VOICEMAIL BEEPS) And the day Manisha was born, he was so, so proud of you and already so in love with her.
He couldn't keep it all in his skin.
Anyway, that's me signing off for tonight.
I'll probably call you again tomorrow.
JACK: How's Mimi? Doing a lot of running.
She's got a new sports bra and says it's a whole new world.
So, house.
Yes, house.
Unsurprisingly, it's a bad time to sell.
Surprise, surprise.
What are your plans? Well, it makes sense for you to stay here.
I can't afford this mortgage, even with this shiny new job.
It doesn't seem fair you're homeless, Lil.
I can keep crashing at Mum and Vincent's.
It's fine.
I don't have to find somewhere right away.
Uh, we did choose a house with three bedrooms, Lil.
That would That would be crazy, though, right? What you're suggesting would be convenient, yes, and economically sensible, sure, but ultimately toxic and Batshit crazy.
Yeah.
How would that work? Well, there'd have to be rules.
You'd have to clean a lot more.
I was carrying you a lot.
That's probably fair.
I'm not saying forever, Lil.
Just, there's a lot going on with the new job.
Could be one less thing.
You know, I think we were better friends than I ever gave us credit for.
Good morning, Lily Woodward.
Good morning, Liam Johnson.
Not to guilt you, but I did put my reputation on the line to work with you.
- You had a part-time job at the pub.
- A great pub.
And now the ship is going down, and you're off on a first-class lifeboat with a cheeky Sauv Blanc in hand while the rest of us are drowning under contract.
Thank you for that nautical analogy.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I will attempt to save the world.
SASHA: What's everyone doing in my office? - Sasha.
- Good morning.
Oh, for the love of an assistant.
Look, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I am beyond excited and I'm grateful and even feeling a little'#blessed' about the opportunity, but You're gonna sabotage it anyway.
I can't ignore the fact that Jeremy is sending The Breakfast Bar straight to hell.
Look, I respect the comrades-in-arms thing, and good on you for giving a shit, but his ideas are gonna save the network a lot of money and I don't know how to argue with that.
What if I can? What if I can come up with an alternative direction that will save money, as well as maintain a semblance of integrity before you have to fire anyone? God love you.
At least let me have a crack, and then I'll start at weekdays focused, ready to give over every last drop of my life's blood.
Look, I've got a meeting upstairs in 48 hours.
If you can dazzle them with a better pitch aimed at a broader demographic with 60% of the budget without using the words 'female focus' or 'multi-platform', then knock yourself out.
I'm sorry if I was less than gracious earlier.
No need to apologise.
It's not your fault you've been singled out to soar the dizzying heights of weekdays Thank you.
while the rest of us are slowing starved of oxygen and the will to live.
Okay, look, this cannot go any further, but Gillian.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Hey.
How's Pete? I don't really know.
He's become obsessed with getting things perfect and making very active decisions.
Right.
Really, that doesn't sound like Pete at all.
Yeah, so I thought you might be able to help.
The venue he's booked for the wake, I don't want to interfere, but it's not it's not great.
What is it? Is it like a pub, or? It's a fancy conference room in a hotel.
Does he know you're asking me? 'Cause he's made it very clear that he doesn't want me interfering.
No, and I get you guys, whatever you guys are right now, but if there's anything that you can do, he doesn't actually have to know.
Want to try sleeping a bit? Uh, no, I want to just get this eulogy right.
Don't want it to be half-arsed.
(BIRDS SQUAWK) "But the just man, though he die early, shall be at rest.
"For the age that is honourable "comes not with the passing of time, "nor can it be measured in terms of years.
"Rather, understanding is the hoary crown for men, "and an unsullied life the attainment of old age.
" Um, Dad and I, uh I was, um I remember the first Sorry, I was gonna segue into a story about the first game of football my dad took me to, and how it was wasn't exactly what you'd call an unsullied experience.
How it was about as far from an unsullied experience as you could get.
It was gonna be witty and, um and poignant and Uh, see, I'm a writer.
That's what I do, I write, but this is It's crap, sorry.
This is not It's not a story.
There's no story here.
He was here, and he wasn't a saint, my dad.
He was far from it.
He was He was actually a pretty shitty dad for a lot of my life, truth be told, and, um and then he wasn't.
(WEEPS) And then he was a little less shitty.
(EXHALES) He didn't learn anything.
He didn't need to die.
There's no end to the story, you know, he just Um He really loved his granddaughter very much.
(PHONE RINGS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) ERIC: Hey, Lil, can you hear me? Okay, hang on.
I'm just gonna find a quiet spot.
Tell me something good.
Something good? How about this? It's done.
- The wake venue is sorted.
- Really? Strings pulled.
I am your guardian angel.
- Are you serious? - As a heart attack! Sorry.
I don't know what to say.
Sorry, Lily.
But it's a pleasure, always a pleasure.
Speaking of pleasure, these Kyrgies know how to par-Tay! If you're picking up what I'm putting down.
- (LAUGHS) - Yeah.
- (BEATBOXES) - Eric, okay.
I've got to go, but seriously, thank you so much.
I owe you one.
No, you don't, my darling.
Anything for you, anytime, you know that.
And hey, congrats on the promo! How? - Talk soon! - Right.
Later.
Thank you.
Hey, um I've found a new venue for the wake.
We can go back to your dad's after, but first let's I don't care where we go, as long as it's not here.
(SOUND SYSTEM FEEDBACK) (UP THERE CAZALY PLAYS) How'd you know? Magic.
Yeah, that's perfect.
You either love or hate it Depending on the score But when your team run out or they kick a goal How's the mighty roar (CROWD ROARS) Up there, CAZALY In there and fight - Out there and at 'em - (CHEERS, LAUGHTER) Show 'em your might Up there, CAZALY - Don't let 'em in - Oh, good kick.
Fly like an angel You're out there to win Up there, CAZALY You're out there to win Oh! (MUSIC FADES) Couldn't help thinking, you know, back at Ivan's, would you come to my funeral? Oh! It is never not about you, is it? But seriously, would you? At the end, would you visit me? Anthony, I'll probably have to wipe your bum, out of duty.
It wasn't nice.
Ivan.
I told Lil that it was.
But it wasn't.
(SOBS) He deserved so much better.
Check it out.
I really hope grief sex isn't on the cards tonight.
I could not take that.
No, me neither.
Have you told Pete this was you? No.
Are you going to? - Hi! - Hello, Mummy.
Whose nap time is it? I know, I have to take.
- See you, sweetie.
- See you soon.
Yeah, it's all right, darling girl.
- It's all right.
- (BABY CRIES) Hey.
- You ready? - Yeah.
That was weirdly kind of fun.
Yeah.
It was fun.
I I don't know how I would have done all this without you.
I'm pretty amazing.
You are.
You are.
And actually, I know it's not the most romantic of moments, but given we're both cynics, anyway, I feel like you should probably marry me one day.
I mean, not today, obviously.
That'd be weird.
But in the future? Yeah, because you're such a catch with the custody battle and your obliterated career.
Don't forget I'm also broke.
Yeah.
Right.
Trifecta.
Yeah.
But you'd love me regardless.
Yeah.
I might have, if it had been real.
It was.
Um, it is.
No.
Maybe we caught glimpses of it, but I don't think I could ever hurt you.
I've never been under your skin enough.
Mm.
Um, so today was it was all Lily.
She didn't want you to know, but you should.
She moved mountains.
(SEXY EYES BY DR HOOK PLAYS) I was sitting all alone Watching people get it on Thank you.
Hmm.
They were dancing Have you seen Pete? Uh, bathroom? No, I just I went in there and he wasn't in there.
You seen Pete? Uh, not for a while, no.
I looked up What did I see? Sexy eyes Moving across the floor got me wanting more Sexy eyes Sexy - Sexy eyes - (HUMS ALONG WITH SONG) Getting down with you I want to move with you - Sexy eyes - Thank you.
I know things have been a little strained between us.
Some things were said in the heat of the moment.
Hurtful things.
But that doesn't change the fact that I think of you like a vastly superior version of my own mother.
Less so now that I'm with Vincent, so in, like, a not genetically messy way.
(LAUGHS) You're family.
Right back at you.
Also, I'm a work in progress, and I know that I've been known to veer vastly off course.
But I'm I love your son.
Good.
And, um I've decided to go to the Camino.
All by myself.
In Ivan's honour.
(LAUGHS) - Yes.
- Yes.
(LAUGHS) Sexy eyes Getting down with you I want to move with you Sexy eyes IVAN: (ON RECORDING) Whatever you decide to do in the future, you know I'll support it.
Love you.
Uh, so call me back if you want.
Saved message.
Ah, g'day, mate, it's me.
It's your dad.
Um, I saw the show.
Not bad.
Not that you should take advice from me.
And whatever you decide to do in the future, you know I'll support it.
Love you.
Uh, so call me back if you want.
(PHONE BEEPS) Hey, there.
Kick it to me.
Come on, come back to the house.
It's cold.
It's not cute, you know.
All the calls and the interfering.
I'm not interfering.
I don't understand why you can't understand that I don't want your help, Lily.
So just just get the fuck out of here.
Did you hear me? Yes, I heard you.
Oh, good.
All right, I'll just I'll go.
Don't worry about it.
That's fine.
Can you move? (SIGHS) Kiss me back.
SONG: She's a whistle on the wind A feather on the breeze A ripple on the stream She is sunlight on the sea She's a soft summer rain Falling gently through the trees And I love her She's cunning as a fox Clever as a crow Solid as a rock She is stubborn as a stone She's a hard-headed woman And the best one that I know And I love her.
Morning.
Morning.
So.
So.
Come up with a pitch overnight? Oh, no, seriously, I've got nothing.
- Really? - Nuh.
Not a single idea.
Not a buzzword, not a catchphrase.
I have jack.
I mean - Not Jack.
- Yeah.
Not Jack.
Well, look, I would offer to help, but I think my TV days are over.
As glorious and as heady as they were.
I feel sad about that.
Yeah.
Me, not so much.
I have to get ready for work.
All right.
Don't look.
- What? I'm not looking.
- Stop it.
- You're totally looking.
- What's the matter? - You're looking.
- I've seen it anyway.
Now, can I just say that was better than I remember.
Really? I feel like you've let yourself go a little bit.
Yeah, I know.
It's those muffins in the office.
So, should we mentally prepare for a screaming match out on the street, or, um You know, the last time we did this The last time we did this, you had just gotten another woman pregnant.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm sorry about Meredith and Manisha.
I know.
Well, this time we're not going to be weird about this.
We're gonna have a big, adult conversation.
Sexy.
How's, um, how's tonight? Perfect.
- Can I have a shower? - Mm-hmm.
Of course.
Please.
Do you want these? - Thank you.
- Also sexy.
Ooh! Pitch ideas.
Peeling back the layers.
Full disclosure.
Lily, why am I always the last to know? Well, you do live in a bubble.
I cannot go back to producing someone else's show.
Can you imagine the dynamic? - Me, in service of others! - Yeah, Nikkii, I'm trying to come up with a pitch for upstairs right now.
So it might be in your best interest to let me get in the zone.
Yeah.
Enough said.
Zone away.
I'm counting on you! You're my girl! Just remember, do not mention women's issues in front of Brad.
Yeah, the wife left him for another woman.
Better not to even be a woman in front of him.
Here she comes, our saviour.
How are the nerves? Did you sleep? - You don't look well slept.
- You afraid I'll out-pitch you? I might be, if I hadn't seen you pitch before.
Break a leg.
Woodward? Full disclosure, I can't pitch.
I am infamous for my inability to sell ideas.
I get in the way.
In a perfect world, I would have prepared for today with stats and demos.
And, unfortunately, that just wasn't possible.
Life got in the way.
As it does.
If we're lucky.
So this is all I've got.
We book these extraordinary people.
And we get them for a total of something like four minutes.
What if we peeled back the layers to find out who these people really are? Because no one is ever just one thing.
So my idea is that we use our time for longer interview-style formats, like sort of like an updated Parkinson.
And if we shift our focus away from the magazine multi-segment format, we could save a ton of cash.
Are you suggesting that we replace all our current segments with one long interview? Yes.
I am.
Is that it? That's it.
(LAUGHS) - Oh, I thought I might find you here.
- Why's that? - I followed you from your dad's.
- That'll do it.
I've been thinking a lot about this whole 'not without my daughter' situation.
And as Manisha's godfather You're not her godfather, but (MIMICS VITO CORLEONE) Peter, what did I do to deserve such disrespect? Who is that? Brando.
Marlon Brando.
I was there in the corridor for when she was born.
- That's true.
You were.
- Yeah.
And I made a few calls, pulled a few favours.
And if Meredith and Dick-chell Don't.
You don't have to call him that.
Well, if they want to take our girl to go and see the Queen, then I'm going to have you on a plane with a working visa before they even have a chance to organise that tiny little passport.
Engage ankles, knees, quads, core, glutes.
And concentrating.
And one one small step for Nishi! One giant leap for Nishi-kind.
Yay! Good one.
Yeah, kick.
You can fly! How's Pete doing? He's getting by.
Thanks for asking.
Are you hiding in here or saying goodbye? My pitch.
- Total cock-up.
- Yeah.
- Big swinging dicks weren't aroused.
- You don't have to tell me.
But they think it might work for 9:30.
At night? They said your passion was infectious, they see a gap in the market for an interview-style show, and you caught Brad on a good hair day.
So.
.
you're up.
- Again with the slapped-arse face.
- I'm sorry.
Obviously, this extraordinary development is stupendous for me.
But I'm painfully aware that it doesn't help anyone else.
Jesus Christ, Mother Teresa.
When they give you your own show, you probably get to pick your own team.
My own show? (LAUGHS) Ah, Lillian.
Peter.
This is all very adult.
Well, this is this is who we are now.
Lovely.
- Madame? - Thank you.
Oh.
So, how was your day? Very interesting.
How was your day? It was very productive.
- Actually, I have some news.
- So do I.
- My do you want to go first? - No, no.
Mine's really big, so you probably want to go first.
Okay.
But.
.
Oh, no.
I know.
We'll go together at the same time.
- Well, that's great.
- Ready? One, two - I got my dream job.
- I dropped the injunction.
- What? What dream job? - I got my dream job.
Night-time, prime time, all mine.
And I can crew it with anyone I want, even you, if you can handle sleeping with your boss, which is probably not a great idea.
No, not a great idea.
But But that's phenomenal.
Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
- Uh that's great.
- I wasn't even listening.
I'm sorry.
- Ah.
I didn't hear your news.
What's your news? Uh, my news is that I dropped the injunction against Meredith.
I knew you would.
- How did that feel? - It felt right.
And it hurt like a bastard.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Is there still a chance they won't go to London? No.
No, they still leave in two weeks.
- Shit.
- Yeah.
Yep.
You have to go.
And you have to stay.
You really have to go.