This Time with Alan Partridge (2019) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
1 Twenty seconds.
- Can I have a glass of water, please? - Make-up checks.
So sorry, everyone! Oh, Tony, can you just remember to tweak that second cue Hi, anyone, can I have a glass of water, please? - the end bit.
Thank you.
- Okay, guys, stand by.
We're coming on shortly.
- Hey, you'll be fine.
- Yeah.
- You've done plenty of live stuff before.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You did do that, what was it called? Mid Morning Matters? - Yes, Mid Morning Matters.
- Of course, Mid Morning Matters.
- Do you know it? - Yeah, I have watched the odd episode.
- I have to say I loved what I saw.
- Well, it's a radio show.
That's right.
Guys, clear the floor.
Can I have some water, please? My mouth is dry.
Stand by.
We're going in five, four Can I have some water, please? My mouth is dry Hello and welcome to This Time, with me, Jennie Gresham and, well, a new face today.
As some of you may have read, John is unwell and can't be with us tonight, but we're sending him all our love, aren't we? But until his return, we are in the safe, capable, smooth hands of Mr Alan Partridge.
Thank you, and very thank you for noticing the hands.
I recently changed creams, so good to see they're getting results and they're not quite so, not not not quite so, well, you know.
- So let's have - Not quite so cracked.
So let's have a little That's you, sorry.
So let's have a little look at the busy life of Mr Alan Partridge.
And we're off.
- Why did I say that about my effing hands? Sorry.
- It's fine.
It's just that they've not been on HD before, so you want them to be at their best, you know.
I'm a little bit rusty and need a drop of oil.
I'm like the robot from the Wizard of Oz.
You were fine.
Business as usual, just remember, business as usual.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Could you spool to the next one? Business as usual.
It's a good note.
Good note.
Good note.
Good note.
Business as usual.
First, we preview a programme about the plight of pint-sized seal pups.
Bit of a mouthful.
More Ps in it than a pensioner's Pamper.
Should I say that? No, I wouldn't.
Lot to get through.
- Five, four.
- Got it.
Alan Partridge there, who I feel we know a bit more intimately now.
Steady, Mrs, I've not even taken you for dinner yet.
I'm a married woman, I'll have you know.
I was told you were separated.
Coming up, we'll be talking vegetarianism and gambling.
But, first, we preview a programme about the plight of pint-sized seal pups, goodness.
That's got more Ps in it than a pensioner's Pamper.
Yes, we're off to the Antarctic to take a look at these little fellas.
Ten seconds on VT.
Oh, God, so sorry about that.
You know when something just pops into your head? Oh, God, no, no.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
- We're on in five, four - If it was an accident, it's fine.
- Yeah, it was an accident.
- Then it's fine.
A baby leopard seal there called Silas and Silas is one of the stars of Ice Pups, a new documentary following a pack of leopard seals over one Antarctic winter.
Hydrurga leptonyx to use the Latin term.
- I'm doing a little bit of reading, so - Mm, someone's very keen.
Yeah, well, I am keen.
I'm keen to give my best.
Here to tell us more about these moustachioed mammals is the show's creator, Alice Clunt.
- Welcome.
- Oh, it's Alice Fluck.
Right, I see what I've done.
So, Alice, this isn't your first time getting close to the animal kingdom, is it? Once upon a time, you were shortlisted in the Shell Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition.
Many moons ago, yes.
The oil company, Shell? - They used to sponsor it, yes.
- Well, do you know what? Good for them.
I mean, you know, they get a lot of stick, don't they, for the Exxon Valdez oil spill, but then they sponsor a prize for animal photos and you think, "Maybe it's time to take a fresh look at Shell.
" But tell us about Ice Pups, because leopard seal pups really are the most incredible animals, aren't they? They really are, Jennie, I mean, what you see in the pups and, hopefully, in the film, is their spirit and their personality.
Because, don't forget, these guys are living in the most inhospitable place in the whole world, you know.
They are tough.
You do not want to mess with a leopard seal.
Well over a tonne, teeth like giant daggers, top speed of twenty knots.
A German U-boat commander would kill for velocity like that.
Awesome.
Well, you see in the film, they do have this wonderfully playful side as well.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, and how.
They toss penguins around like a rag doll and batter them against the sea till they're dead just Wait for it for fun.
- Brutal.
- Well, they're, they're they're mischievous, certainly, and and that comes from just being so intelligent.
Well, the Allies trained them to deliver mines strapped to their backs to scuttle enemy craft in harbour.
Boom! Successful.
We don't really touch on that on this film.
This film is more about them in infancy and adolescence and, hopefully, it's one the whole family can enjoy.
Wrong Wrong tone.
They're plucky little so-and-sos, aren't they? They have to be, you know, they're only weaned for a month and then it's up to them to fend for themselves.
Aw, breaks your heart, doesn't it? When you're around them such a long time, it's hard not to get attached.
I think I'm a bit in love.
Bless them.
They're the most adorable little creatures and they seem to have such personality.
You almost want to give them a name, don't you? - Well, this one's called Silas.
- Yeah, but, I know, I mean a better one, though, like Richard.
I don't know whether to eat him up or wear him, do you know what I mean, though? I suppose Eskimos do both.
Well, you find leopard seals in the Antarctic.
The Falklanders, then.
Now, Alice, the film ends with the sound of a seal cry and it's quite a sound, isn't it? Actually, let's hear it.
- It's not a sound you forget.
- No.
When I heard that, I had an overwhelming sense of Gary Numan.
And do you know the other musician I was thinking of? Don't know why? Seal.
I do know why.
It almost sounds philosophical, doesn't it? I don't think that's the right word, Jennie.
I think it's remindful, it's reminded me of my grandad.
- Did it? - Yeah.
He made funny noises and he had whiskers and he liked fish.
He was a smashing grandad.
One of my earliest memories actually is him taking me to the funfair, me asking for a candyfloss and then eventually he gave in and got me one.
Took me home, said goodbye, but left his hat and when I ran to the bus stop, he wasn't there, and I saw he was walking up the hill.
That's when I realised he'd spent his bus fare on my candyfloss.
Grandad Graham.
Grandad.
And you can see the whole of Alice's film on BBC One tomorrow night.
- Alice Clunt.
- Fluck.
- Fuck.
- Fluck.
Thank you very much for joining us.
Now, when we think of farming, we think of The Archers, All Creatures Great and Small, sprawling acres across rolling hills.
Yes, a tumbledown farmhouse nestled in the cleavage of soft, bosomy downs.
Can you say cleavage? - I think so.
- Can you say bosom? Might not be a woman.
Might just be a very smooth, fat teenage boy.
Next month is grow-your-own month.
Here's how you can get involved.
And we're off air.
Thirty seconds on VT.
Alice, thank you so much.
That was Drive, drive, drive your car, gently down the road, merrily, merrily, merrily, obey the Highway Code.
Thanks.
You're nervous, just breathe.
- How am I doing? - You're solid.
Good.
The people near the gallery were making appreciative noises.
Like what? Noises like what? Good God, Lynn, you've not made a noise like that since those little fish ate the dead skin off your feet.
And hot off the news press.
- Go on.
- You know Greville Merchant? What does he want? He heard you were hosting a BBC primetime show and he collapsed.
- Well, where was he? - In his garden.
Can we clear the floor, please? Stand by, we're going in five.
- You all right? - Four Yeah? Welcome back.
We've had a text here from Walter in Frodsham, who says Shell had nothing to do with the Exxon Valdez spill, that was Esso.
Perhaps you're thinking of the Deepwater Horizon spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Thank you.
But, yes, of course, apologies.
Happy to clear that up.
Just like Shell were.
And also Elsa from Cheshire saying good to see you back on the BBC after your falling out.
- I'm just helping out, as I see it.
- Okay.
If people see it and it leads to bigger things, great.
If not, and I'm back on local radio, equally great.
And if people like it, they want to holler about it on social media, cool.
If they see it and they don't like it or hate it, again, very, very cool.
I mean, does that answer your question, Elsa? Elsa? - It's a tweet.
- Yep.
Well, we're delighted to have you and as the new boy in class, I believe you brought a friend with you to hold your hand.
I like to describe him as the Man Friday to my Robinson Clouseau and that seems to satisfy people.
And he's going to be taking a look at the news, is that right? A sideways look at the news.
But let's do a proper intro.
Once in a generation, a genius bursts onto the scene.
A bit more frequently, a fairly gifted person wanders in.
His name, Simon Denton.
Simon, felicitations.
- Good morrow.
- Hail fellow well met.
- Now - Athangyou.
Okay.
Now, unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last five years, you'll know from tuning in to North Norfolk Digital that Simon is someone who dissects, satirises and lampoons the news in a manner every bit as funny - Wah-wah.
- as a Radio Four panellist.
- Move over Gyles Brandreth.
- Stay calm.
And also new to the show is a huge, interactive touch-screen digiwall.
- Tell us about it.
- Thank you.
So this here digiwall here.
Northern, he can do the lot.
Yes, it's a new idea, which I believe you got from - Foxtons.
Yeah.
- Foxtons.
Foxtons, the real estate guys.
As I said in the production meeting, you know, if we could make this show 10% more Foxtons, then we will have something really quite special.
Simon, what you got? Right, well, bear with me, Alan, because I'm still getting used to the tech, but I think before we look at the papers, we're going to get some tweets up and if I swipe here, we can get the Twitter feed.
We Hopefully we'll be able to get the Twitter feed up on my digiwall.
Can't swipe from the home screen.
You need main menu.
Right you are.
Now then.
- Top left item.
- Top left.
We're in.
We're in like Flynn.
- So now, social.
- Social being - Handshake.
- Socialising.
Press it again.
Press it again.
- That was the hope.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
- Now Twitter.
- Twitter being - Big white bird.
- Bird it.
- Now press tweets.
- Tweets? Big blue bird.
- Bird it.
- And press today's tweets.
No, you Stay calm.
Let's start again.
Back to main menu.
Can't swipe the home screen.
Main menu.
Top left.
Press it.
Oh, my Jesus.
Now social.
Handshake.
Then tweets, white bird.
- Bird it.
- Big blue bird.
- Bird it.
- Today's tweets, bird in circle.
- Okey doke.
- Right.
Did you definitely save them after you'd uploaded? You didn't save them.
It's just amateur, isn't it? I think so, yeah.
- That's great.
- Am I still doing the papers? Back to you, Jennie.
Thanks, Alan.
Now, how often do you wash your hands? A study out this week says we wash our hands 30% less than we did ten years ago.
Now, I've got to say, I found that hard to believe.
I think it's about the company you keep.
I mean, I don't know you that well, but I would guess, for example, that both of us keep wet wipes in our downstairs loos.
Because you and I like to be clean.
- Well, all this gave us the germ of an idea.
- It did.
We sent Alan to find out more.
We did.
The humble art of hand-washing.
We all know we should do it and we all know the nursery rhyme.
After the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean-handed.
After the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean-handed.
Why are clean hands important? Because humans are the most effective incubators of bacteria outside of imported meat.
A fact first discovered 150 years ago in Soho Partridge, you wanker.
when its filthy reputation was based not on pole dancers from Lapland or lap dancers from Pole-land Poland but because of an outbreak of cholera.
Imagine going into a newsagent and ordering not a can of Coca Cola but a can of coca cholera.
That's effectively what the Soho residents were doing in 1854 when they came to draw water from this pump to sate, slake or quench their thirst.
That was before the physician John Snow discovered that the disease was spread through contaminated water.
This paved the way for the invention of antibiotics.
A remedy against bacteria that initially seemed infallible.
I said "initially" slightly louder because whilst antibiotics once stopped bacteria like these from breeding like randy Catholic rabbits, their prophylactic power has become dulled through overuse.
Many liken antibiotics to giving a box of chocolates to an angry spouse.
The first time, the chocolates will overwhelm the wife and quell her ire completely.
The sixth, seventh time, the chocolates still subdue the miffed woman, but less than they had earlier.
And by the 20th time, the chocolates have little to no potency and can even inflame the problem further.
I was troubled by this.
I knew more than ever before that we needed to wash our hands.
- Ground floor.
- But were we doing? To find out for myself, I've come to the gents' toilets at the BBC to conduct a study of my own.
Hello, Alan Partridge, BBC, did you wash your hands? - Yep.
- Good man.
I've concentrated exclusively on the gents' loos.
A man standing outside a women's lavatory can be seen as predatory.
Equally, a man loitering outside a gentlemen's toilet can be fraught with ambiguity so to put it on a more formal footing, I've got this woman with a clipboard.
Sorry, what's your name? - Thara.
- Sarah? - Thara.
- Sarah.
- Thara.
- Okay.
The BBC employs some 20,000 people Just write that down.
and not all of them are going to wash their hands.
Right, it is Thara.
I thought you had a lisp.
- No, it's Arabic.
- Okay.
Menial workers, for example, are employed to pick up bits of dirt.
And the likelihood of them being asked to shake hands with senior management are very low.
Put him down as a no.
Still, the results made for grim reading, with just 28% saying they washed their hands.
Yeah, I'm going to wash my own hands later.
Swindon and I've comes to the British School of Hygiene to ask Professor Jean Chaudhary how clean hands can stop the spread of germs.
- Hi, Jean.
- Hi.
Hi.
Jean, hand washing How often should be washing them? Well, any time we come into contact with bacteria so after going to the toilet.
Agreed.
- After handling raw meat.
- Right, and that's separate, isn't it? - That's not a euphemism for the first one.
- No.
Raw meat can harbour some pretty nasty bacteria, so if in doubt, wash.
- And the advice from the World Health Organisation - Here we go.
is that we should be washing our hands for a full twenty seconds.
Fifteen's fine.
Which is why there's actually an instructional video which shows exactly how to wash your hands.
Yes, please.
So we begin by rubbing the palms together, work up a nice creamy lather.
Those are very creamy hands.
And then you rub the back of your left hand Very creamy hands.
with the right palm with interlaced fingers.
Yeah.
And same with the other hand.
Yeah.
And rinse with warm water.
Yeah.
Those taps are the same as the ones over there.
Yeah, we shot it here.
Right, so those are your hands.
I could just demonstrate right here in the lab if you want.
No, no, no.
No, we mustn't.
So a quick recap.
So to recap, we should wash our hands whenever we come into contact with bacteria.
So after changing a baby's nappy? Yeah.
Handing over cash to a man on a ferry? - Yeah.
- Slapping a butcher on the back and saying, "Cheers for the cheap chops?" - If you think he's come into contact with bacteria.
- He's a butcher.
Anyway, from hygiene to "bye, Jean" and I don't think there can be any greater tribute to your own personal hygiene than saying "put it there.
" Do make sure that you're clean hande d.
The importance of cleanliness there.
Now, in some loos, you feel like the taps are probably dirtier than your hands.
- You just don't want to touch anything.
- Yes, although it is possible to complete an ablution, entry to exit, without using your hands.
- I'm not sure how you'd do that.
- It's simple.
You're in a corridor, on a train, you find the loo, it's green, we're on.
Drop a thigh.
Elbow down to open, thigh bodge, round and in, thigh to close.
Wrist to lock.
Turn, lid up, seat down, and paper, paper, paper.
Tear, rent, place, turn.
Squat, paper, paper, paper.
Tear, complete, turn, feed paper back into bowl.
And flush.
Check water, water good.
Water, soap.
Air.
Unlock, handle down, leg around, other leg around.
I don't necessarily have to show you the whole thing.
That's the general gist, you know, and other people will want to devise their own drill.
Thing is, just experiment.
Well, I believe Simon has an e-mail.
It is from the press office of Shell Oil.
It says Well.
Yes.
Happy to clear that up.
Now, all month this month, we've been looking at Britain's love affair with having a flutter.
Last week, Jennie was live from Ascot or "ascut".
Having a punt on the gee-gees with some very posh people and another group of people who are the opposite of posh, but who want to dress like and be near posh people.
But, today, we turn to the darker side of gambling and how it creates addicts among those who can least afford it.
45 seconds.
Right, so, betting terminals.
- Yep.
- What damage they do.
Why they've not banned it.
I suppose the only "banned it" you hear in gambling is the one-armed bandit in the corner of the bookies.
Can we get Ruth up? Hiya, Ruth.
You all right? Hiya, Jen.
Pleased to meet you, Ruth.
You're welcome.
Actually we have met before.
I don't think she can hear me.
Yeah, I splashed shandy on her at the Pride of Britain Awards and she took it quite badly.
And from thereon, she disagreed with everything I've said.
- And we're back on in five - Weird.
four Time now to get some answers starting with why, if this technology is so addictive, betting chains haven't banned it.
Well, the only bandit you hear in gambling is the - one-armed bandit in the corner of a bookies.
- The one-armed bandit in the corner of a bookies.
- Snap.
- Indeed.
- You must be telepathic.
- Must be.
Ruth Duggan joins us from a Solihull bookmakers.
Ruth, a community ravaged by gambling and all down to one type of machine.
Well, not all.
It's important to emphasise that.
- But it has certainly played a large part, hasn't it? - That's right.
It's a contraption that some believe has caused a terrifying spike in gambling addiction.
Fixed odds betting machines.
Fixed odds betting terminals.
You'll find FOBTs in every bookie and each one takes hundreds of pounds a day.
And yet they so rarely pay out.
Well, actually, no.
They pay out almost every other spin.
Which is what makes them so addictive? - Exactly right.
- Okay.
So the debate now turns to how to discourage punters.
Starting with an outright ban.
- Well, not really.
- No-one is suggesting a ban as such.
But the white paper proposed a limit to the maximum bet.
That's it, exactly.
Meanwhile, whole communities are being ruined - and surely the Government has to see that.
- Absolutely.
Because the fallout has to be costing them money.
- Well, in actual fact, gambling makes the Government more - Okay.
through tax revenue than it costs it.
And the Treasury will be reluctant to lose that.
- Precisely, Jennie.
- Okay.
- So really, it's a - A tightrope? - a balancing act.
- Which is what a tightrope is.
- Well, Ruth, thank you - Ruth, this is a bad thing, right? It's complicated, certainly.
Okay, then, it's a significant thing.
Well, some say it's not treated as significant enough.
But, in your opinion, now it's, if nothing else, worthy of comment.
It's not nothing, it's something.
- Yes.
- Thank you! There'll be more from Ruth tomorrow.
- I'm off tomorrow.
- The day after, then.
Now imagine you're a business owner.
You open up one morning to find your business has been attacked.
Attacked by bedroom-based do-badders known as hacktivists.
In a moment, we'll be hearing from one of these digital agitators, but, first, who exactly do they target and what kind of damage do they do? Let's find out.
And we're off.
Right.
Hold on.
So you made a great - Going well, isn't it? - Not bad.
Do you think Paul McCartney's watching this? What do you think of Jennie? She seems nice.
That's twice she's pinched your joke.
She's trying to rob you of your strength.
- Like Delilah.
- Delilah? The slag from the Bible.
- Hello.
- Hi.
This is Lynn.
Mr Partridge's assistant.
I'm allowed to be here.
This is Jennie.
- I like your red top.
- Thank you.
I saw a lady wearing one just like that outside a train station.
She was enjoying a cigarette.
Her top matched her lipstick.
I think she was waiting for someone.
It's very pretty.
Stand by.
We're going in five - Bye.
- four And these keyboard warriors aren't even doing it for financial gain.
Yet why would someone spend time and effort on something that doesn't earn them money? Puzzled? Me too.
Here to tell more is one such hacktivist.
A bedroom Bolshevik with a bee in his bonnet.
Someone who doesn't lack the knack, or Mac, to hack or crack.
Let's put him on the rack.
I should warn you some viewers may find his appearance alarming.
- Good evening.
- Hello.
- And what would you like me to call you? - Whatever you want.
Neville.
Oh, Mickey.
Mickey, you are a cyber-terrorist.
That's still a terrorist.
The only people we disrupt are the 1%, the elite who control our financial assets, run our media, own our governments and that means disabling their networks to make people ask the big questions.
I'll ask the questions, if you don't mind.
You don't ask the big questions.
- The ones that make people feel uncomfortable.
- Want to bet? What is business for? How should we share resources? Do you know who this is? - Should I? - This is Edward Finton-Quayle.
I don't know where the hyphen goes.
It doesn't matter.
Last month, you claimed responsibility for hacking a major investment bank where his daddy works.
Thanks to you, he failed to achieve his bonus.
I'm not going to shed a tear.
He had a place ready at Charterhouse School, but, because of you, his parents can't afford to send him there.
Perhaps you'd like to apologise to him.
- Well, perhaps his dad should apologise for - Will you apologise? If you're asking me, do I feel I'm asking you will you apologise to Fintey? - No.
- Will you not apologise to Fintey? - Yes.
- All right, you understand the rule about double negatives.
So that's a draw.
You media just parrot the view of the elite and take pot shots at people prepared to stand up for something.
You're not the only one that stands up for things.
What have you ever stood up for? - Lots of things.
- Like what? The green belt.
I once stood up in front of a digger, like the student standing in front of the tank in Tiananmen Square, except instead of the Chinese Communist Party, it was the local council wanting to build some sort of leisure centre.
- Well, not on my watch.
- This is exactly what I'm talking about.
What have you actually done to make a difference? - Just taught people about hygiene.
- This isn't your main job.
You work for a local radio station owned by a media conglomerate.
That means you're the problem.
It's not even like it's worth your while.
You're on the third-lowest wage at North Norfolk Digital.
What? No, I'm not.
You're on two grand less than a guy called Wally Banter.
You hacked the finances of North Norfolk Digital? I didn't even think that was possible.
What, because your IT security's so great? No, because Janice does the accounts in exercise books.
Well, we did and surprise, surprise, another D-lister grubbing around in the media while professing to give a shit about the world.
Sorry to disappoint you, mate, but some of us are motivated by nothing more than a quest for the truth.
Thursday, 6:12 PM, you e-mailed Eamonn Holmes to say you'd got a guest presenting gig on BBC.
- Twelve exclamation marks.
- You hacked me? 6:15 PM, you e-mailed Lynn Benfield to say - "How much are BBC offering?" - Valid question.
6:20 PM, you googled "BBC presenter salary", at 6:22, you googled "John Inverdale salary", - 6:23 "John Inverdale wage".
- Mickey, this is wrong.
7:20, you e-mailed Sue Barker.
"Sue, guess who's back in the big time?" 7:22, you e-mailed Richard Hammond.
"Richard, guess who's back in the big time?" 7:23, you e-mailed Delia Smith.
"Delia, guess who's big in the back time?" Doesn't even make sense.
- I was typing fast.
- 7:26, you googled "This Time female presenter".
All right, all right.
At 7:50, you sent Facebook friend request to Jennie Gresham.
Mickey, please.
7:54, another message on Facebook, this time to Jennie Gresham.
All right, then, what if I wore a mask? Recognise him? My name's Gavin.
- I'm not anonymous any more.
- Where did you get that picture? Photocopied it from your guest pass and then stabbed holes in your eyes.
Take it off now or this interview's over.
Oh, look, this mouse seems to be squeaking.
Is that why you called me Mickey? It's a giraffe.
Oh, look, this giraffe seems to be winding his neck in.
I agreed to this interview on condition of anonymity.
- Squeak, squeak.
- And that has It's a giraffe! All right, then.
This is ridiculous.
That, I'm sorry, that's All right, I'm sorry.
Please finish the interview.
The interview is null and void because of you.
I will pursue you.
Guys, follow me.
I'm going off grid.
I'm going free-range, pursuing a chicken.
I will finish this.
I am still doing the interview.
I'm still doing the interview.
I am still Watch yourself there doing the interview.
Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? - Will you finish the interview - Can you press floor three? - What? - You're standing by the buttons.
Oh, yes, sorry.
Three.
Anyone else? Two, please.
Will you finish? Gosh, look.
Emily Matiss Emily Maitlis from BBC's - Newsnight.
- Newsnight.
Yep.
And just, I'm going to say, I'm a huge admirer of your technique.
You always strike just the right tone.
- Doors open.
- Tenacious without being aggressive.
Yes, that's exactly right.
Thank you.
Thanks.
And if I may say so, in the current gender climate, I think you bring a welcome touch of class to Newsnight.
I'll just leave it there.
That's nice of you.
Thank you.
I kind of do what you do.
I'm just interviewing this hacktivist.
He's trying to wriggle off the hook.
Really? Have you asked him why they're being funded by people with radically different political agendas, then? - Lift going down.
- Yes.
- No, you haven't.
- Haven't I? No.
I'm going to roll the dice here, - Emily.
Could I possibly have your e-mail? - No, I'm sorry.
I think this building is an architectural triumph.
- Ground floor.
- There, said it.
Just lets you breathe.
- Doors opening.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
- That's okay.
- Well, that's all - Two, please.
- from This Time.
- Three, please.
- Next week on This Time - Six, please.
Six? - Five, please.
- John will be back.
Sorry? - Five, please.
- Five.
- Seven, please.
- Until next time on This Time, it's time to say we're out of time.
On This Time.
Goodnight.
Second floor.
Doors opening.
Lift going up.
- Floor eight, please.
- What? - Eight? - Eight.
Third floor.
- Can I have a glass of water, please? - Make-up checks.
So sorry, everyone! Oh, Tony, can you just remember to tweak that second cue Hi, anyone, can I have a glass of water, please? - the end bit.
Thank you.
- Okay, guys, stand by.
We're coming on shortly.
- Hey, you'll be fine.
- Yeah.
- You've done plenty of live stuff before.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You did do that, what was it called? Mid Morning Matters? - Yes, Mid Morning Matters.
- Of course, Mid Morning Matters.
- Do you know it? - Yeah, I have watched the odd episode.
- I have to say I loved what I saw.
- Well, it's a radio show.
That's right.
Guys, clear the floor.
Can I have some water, please? My mouth is dry.
Stand by.
We're going in five, four Can I have some water, please? My mouth is dry Hello and welcome to This Time, with me, Jennie Gresham and, well, a new face today.
As some of you may have read, John is unwell and can't be with us tonight, but we're sending him all our love, aren't we? But until his return, we are in the safe, capable, smooth hands of Mr Alan Partridge.
Thank you, and very thank you for noticing the hands.
I recently changed creams, so good to see they're getting results and they're not quite so, not not not quite so, well, you know.
- So let's have - Not quite so cracked.
So let's have a little That's you, sorry.
So let's have a little look at the busy life of Mr Alan Partridge.
And we're off.
- Why did I say that about my effing hands? Sorry.
- It's fine.
It's just that they've not been on HD before, so you want them to be at their best, you know.
I'm a little bit rusty and need a drop of oil.
I'm like the robot from the Wizard of Oz.
You were fine.
Business as usual, just remember, business as usual.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Could you spool to the next one? Business as usual.
It's a good note.
Good note.
Good note.
Good note.
Business as usual.
First, we preview a programme about the plight of pint-sized seal pups.
Bit of a mouthful.
More Ps in it than a pensioner's Pamper.
Should I say that? No, I wouldn't.
Lot to get through.
- Five, four.
- Got it.
Alan Partridge there, who I feel we know a bit more intimately now.
Steady, Mrs, I've not even taken you for dinner yet.
I'm a married woman, I'll have you know.
I was told you were separated.
Coming up, we'll be talking vegetarianism and gambling.
But, first, we preview a programme about the plight of pint-sized seal pups, goodness.
That's got more Ps in it than a pensioner's Pamper.
Yes, we're off to the Antarctic to take a look at these little fellas.
Ten seconds on VT.
Oh, God, so sorry about that.
You know when something just pops into your head? Oh, God, no, no.
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
- We're on in five, four - If it was an accident, it's fine.
- Yeah, it was an accident.
- Then it's fine.
A baby leopard seal there called Silas and Silas is one of the stars of Ice Pups, a new documentary following a pack of leopard seals over one Antarctic winter.
Hydrurga leptonyx to use the Latin term.
- I'm doing a little bit of reading, so - Mm, someone's very keen.
Yeah, well, I am keen.
I'm keen to give my best.
Here to tell us more about these moustachioed mammals is the show's creator, Alice Clunt.
- Welcome.
- Oh, it's Alice Fluck.
Right, I see what I've done.
So, Alice, this isn't your first time getting close to the animal kingdom, is it? Once upon a time, you were shortlisted in the Shell Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition.
Many moons ago, yes.
The oil company, Shell? - They used to sponsor it, yes.
- Well, do you know what? Good for them.
I mean, you know, they get a lot of stick, don't they, for the Exxon Valdez oil spill, but then they sponsor a prize for animal photos and you think, "Maybe it's time to take a fresh look at Shell.
" But tell us about Ice Pups, because leopard seal pups really are the most incredible animals, aren't they? They really are, Jennie, I mean, what you see in the pups and, hopefully, in the film, is their spirit and their personality.
Because, don't forget, these guys are living in the most inhospitable place in the whole world, you know.
They are tough.
You do not want to mess with a leopard seal.
Well over a tonne, teeth like giant daggers, top speed of twenty knots.
A German U-boat commander would kill for velocity like that.
Awesome.
Well, you see in the film, they do have this wonderfully playful side as well.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, and how.
They toss penguins around like a rag doll and batter them against the sea till they're dead just Wait for it for fun.
- Brutal.
- Well, they're, they're they're mischievous, certainly, and and that comes from just being so intelligent.
Well, the Allies trained them to deliver mines strapped to their backs to scuttle enemy craft in harbour.
Boom! Successful.
We don't really touch on that on this film.
This film is more about them in infancy and adolescence and, hopefully, it's one the whole family can enjoy.
Wrong Wrong tone.
They're plucky little so-and-sos, aren't they? They have to be, you know, they're only weaned for a month and then it's up to them to fend for themselves.
Aw, breaks your heart, doesn't it? When you're around them such a long time, it's hard not to get attached.
I think I'm a bit in love.
Bless them.
They're the most adorable little creatures and they seem to have such personality.
You almost want to give them a name, don't you? - Well, this one's called Silas.
- Yeah, but, I know, I mean a better one, though, like Richard.
I don't know whether to eat him up or wear him, do you know what I mean, though? I suppose Eskimos do both.
Well, you find leopard seals in the Antarctic.
The Falklanders, then.
Now, Alice, the film ends with the sound of a seal cry and it's quite a sound, isn't it? Actually, let's hear it.
- It's not a sound you forget.
- No.
When I heard that, I had an overwhelming sense of Gary Numan.
And do you know the other musician I was thinking of? Don't know why? Seal.
I do know why.
It almost sounds philosophical, doesn't it? I don't think that's the right word, Jennie.
I think it's remindful, it's reminded me of my grandad.
- Did it? - Yeah.
He made funny noises and he had whiskers and he liked fish.
He was a smashing grandad.
One of my earliest memories actually is him taking me to the funfair, me asking for a candyfloss and then eventually he gave in and got me one.
Took me home, said goodbye, but left his hat and when I ran to the bus stop, he wasn't there, and I saw he was walking up the hill.
That's when I realised he'd spent his bus fare on my candyfloss.
Grandad Graham.
Grandad.
And you can see the whole of Alice's film on BBC One tomorrow night.
- Alice Clunt.
- Fluck.
- Fuck.
- Fluck.
Thank you very much for joining us.
Now, when we think of farming, we think of The Archers, All Creatures Great and Small, sprawling acres across rolling hills.
Yes, a tumbledown farmhouse nestled in the cleavage of soft, bosomy downs.
Can you say cleavage? - I think so.
- Can you say bosom? Might not be a woman.
Might just be a very smooth, fat teenage boy.
Next month is grow-your-own month.
Here's how you can get involved.
And we're off air.
Thirty seconds on VT.
Alice, thank you so much.
That was Drive, drive, drive your car, gently down the road, merrily, merrily, merrily, obey the Highway Code.
Thanks.
You're nervous, just breathe.
- How am I doing? - You're solid.
Good.
The people near the gallery were making appreciative noises.
Like what? Noises like what? Good God, Lynn, you've not made a noise like that since those little fish ate the dead skin off your feet.
And hot off the news press.
- Go on.
- You know Greville Merchant? What does he want? He heard you were hosting a BBC primetime show and he collapsed.
- Well, where was he? - In his garden.
Can we clear the floor, please? Stand by, we're going in five.
- You all right? - Four Yeah? Welcome back.
We've had a text here from Walter in Frodsham, who says Shell had nothing to do with the Exxon Valdez spill, that was Esso.
Perhaps you're thinking of the Deepwater Horizon spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Thank you.
But, yes, of course, apologies.
Happy to clear that up.
Just like Shell were.
And also Elsa from Cheshire saying good to see you back on the BBC after your falling out.
- I'm just helping out, as I see it.
- Okay.
If people see it and it leads to bigger things, great.
If not, and I'm back on local radio, equally great.
And if people like it, they want to holler about it on social media, cool.
If they see it and they don't like it or hate it, again, very, very cool.
I mean, does that answer your question, Elsa? Elsa? - It's a tweet.
- Yep.
Well, we're delighted to have you and as the new boy in class, I believe you brought a friend with you to hold your hand.
I like to describe him as the Man Friday to my Robinson Clouseau and that seems to satisfy people.
And he's going to be taking a look at the news, is that right? A sideways look at the news.
But let's do a proper intro.
Once in a generation, a genius bursts onto the scene.
A bit more frequently, a fairly gifted person wanders in.
His name, Simon Denton.
Simon, felicitations.
- Good morrow.
- Hail fellow well met.
- Now - Athangyou.
Okay.
Now, unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last five years, you'll know from tuning in to North Norfolk Digital that Simon is someone who dissects, satirises and lampoons the news in a manner every bit as funny - Wah-wah.
- as a Radio Four panellist.
- Move over Gyles Brandreth.
- Stay calm.
And also new to the show is a huge, interactive touch-screen digiwall.
- Tell us about it.
- Thank you.
So this here digiwall here.
Northern, he can do the lot.
Yes, it's a new idea, which I believe you got from - Foxtons.
Yeah.
- Foxtons.
Foxtons, the real estate guys.
As I said in the production meeting, you know, if we could make this show 10% more Foxtons, then we will have something really quite special.
Simon, what you got? Right, well, bear with me, Alan, because I'm still getting used to the tech, but I think before we look at the papers, we're going to get some tweets up and if I swipe here, we can get the Twitter feed.
We Hopefully we'll be able to get the Twitter feed up on my digiwall.
Can't swipe from the home screen.
You need main menu.
Right you are.
Now then.
- Top left item.
- Top left.
We're in.
We're in like Flynn.
- So now, social.
- Social being - Handshake.
- Socialising.
Press it again.
Press it again.
- That was the hope.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
- Now Twitter.
- Twitter being - Big white bird.
- Bird it.
- Now press tweets.
- Tweets? Big blue bird.
- Bird it.
- And press today's tweets.
No, you Stay calm.
Let's start again.
Back to main menu.
Can't swipe the home screen.
Main menu.
Top left.
Press it.
Oh, my Jesus.
Now social.
Handshake.
Then tweets, white bird.
- Bird it.
- Big blue bird.
- Bird it.
- Today's tweets, bird in circle.
- Okey doke.
- Right.
Did you definitely save them after you'd uploaded? You didn't save them.
It's just amateur, isn't it? I think so, yeah.
- That's great.
- Am I still doing the papers? Back to you, Jennie.
Thanks, Alan.
Now, how often do you wash your hands? A study out this week says we wash our hands 30% less than we did ten years ago.
Now, I've got to say, I found that hard to believe.
I think it's about the company you keep.
I mean, I don't know you that well, but I would guess, for example, that both of us keep wet wipes in our downstairs loos.
Because you and I like to be clean.
- Well, all this gave us the germ of an idea.
- It did.
We sent Alan to find out more.
We did.
The humble art of hand-washing.
We all know we should do it and we all know the nursery rhyme.
After the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean-handed.
After the pee or poo has landed, do make sure that you're clean-handed.
Why are clean hands important? Because humans are the most effective incubators of bacteria outside of imported meat.
A fact first discovered 150 years ago in Soho Partridge, you wanker.
when its filthy reputation was based not on pole dancers from Lapland or lap dancers from Pole-land Poland but because of an outbreak of cholera.
Imagine going into a newsagent and ordering not a can of Coca Cola but a can of coca cholera.
That's effectively what the Soho residents were doing in 1854 when they came to draw water from this pump to sate, slake or quench their thirst.
That was before the physician John Snow discovered that the disease was spread through contaminated water.
This paved the way for the invention of antibiotics.
A remedy against bacteria that initially seemed infallible.
I said "initially" slightly louder because whilst antibiotics once stopped bacteria like these from breeding like randy Catholic rabbits, their prophylactic power has become dulled through overuse.
Many liken antibiotics to giving a box of chocolates to an angry spouse.
The first time, the chocolates will overwhelm the wife and quell her ire completely.
The sixth, seventh time, the chocolates still subdue the miffed woman, but less than they had earlier.
And by the 20th time, the chocolates have little to no potency and can even inflame the problem further.
I was troubled by this.
I knew more than ever before that we needed to wash our hands.
- Ground floor.
- But were we doing? To find out for myself, I've come to the gents' toilets at the BBC to conduct a study of my own.
Hello, Alan Partridge, BBC, did you wash your hands? - Yep.
- Good man.
I've concentrated exclusively on the gents' loos.
A man standing outside a women's lavatory can be seen as predatory.
Equally, a man loitering outside a gentlemen's toilet can be fraught with ambiguity so to put it on a more formal footing, I've got this woman with a clipboard.
Sorry, what's your name? - Thara.
- Sarah? - Thara.
- Sarah.
- Thara.
- Okay.
The BBC employs some 20,000 people Just write that down.
and not all of them are going to wash their hands.
Right, it is Thara.
I thought you had a lisp.
- No, it's Arabic.
- Okay.
Menial workers, for example, are employed to pick up bits of dirt.
And the likelihood of them being asked to shake hands with senior management are very low.
Put him down as a no.
Still, the results made for grim reading, with just 28% saying they washed their hands.
Yeah, I'm going to wash my own hands later.
Swindon and I've comes to the British School of Hygiene to ask Professor Jean Chaudhary how clean hands can stop the spread of germs.
- Hi, Jean.
- Hi.
Hi.
Jean, hand washing How often should be washing them? Well, any time we come into contact with bacteria so after going to the toilet.
Agreed.
- After handling raw meat.
- Right, and that's separate, isn't it? - That's not a euphemism for the first one.
- No.
Raw meat can harbour some pretty nasty bacteria, so if in doubt, wash.
- And the advice from the World Health Organisation - Here we go.
is that we should be washing our hands for a full twenty seconds.
Fifteen's fine.
Which is why there's actually an instructional video which shows exactly how to wash your hands.
Yes, please.
So we begin by rubbing the palms together, work up a nice creamy lather.
Those are very creamy hands.
And then you rub the back of your left hand Very creamy hands.
with the right palm with interlaced fingers.
Yeah.
And same with the other hand.
Yeah.
And rinse with warm water.
Yeah.
Those taps are the same as the ones over there.
Yeah, we shot it here.
Right, so those are your hands.
I could just demonstrate right here in the lab if you want.
No, no, no.
No, we mustn't.
So a quick recap.
So to recap, we should wash our hands whenever we come into contact with bacteria.
So after changing a baby's nappy? Yeah.
Handing over cash to a man on a ferry? - Yeah.
- Slapping a butcher on the back and saying, "Cheers for the cheap chops?" - If you think he's come into contact with bacteria.
- He's a butcher.
Anyway, from hygiene to "bye, Jean" and I don't think there can be any greater tribute to your own personal hygiene than saying "put it there.
" Do make sure that you're clean hande d.
The importance of cleanliness there.
Now, in some loos, you feel like the taps are probably dirtier than your hands.
- You just don't want to touch anything.
- Yes, although it is possible to complete an ablution, entry to exit, without using your hands.
- I'm not sure how you'd do that.
- It's simple.
You're in a corridor, on a train, you find the loo, it's green, we're on.
Drop a thigh.
Elbow down to open, thigh bodge, round and in, thigh to close.
Wrist to lock.
Turn, lid up, seat down, and paper, paper, paper.
Tear, rent, place, turn.
Squat, paper, paper, paper.
Tear, complete, turn, feed paper back into bowl.
And flush.
Check water, water good.
Water, soap.
Air.
Unlock, handle down, leg around, other leg around.
I don't necessarily have to show you the whole thing.
That's the general gist, you know, and other people will want to devise their own drill.
Thing is, just experiment.
Well, I believe Simon has an e-mail.
It is from the press office of Shell Oil.
It says Well.
Yes.
Happy to clear that up.
Now, all month this month, we've been looking at Britain's love affair with having a flutter.
Last week, Jennie was live from Ascot or "ascut".
Having a punt on the gee-gees with some very posh people and another group of people who are the opposite of posh, but who want to dress like and be near posh people.
But, today, we turn to the darker side of gambling and how it creates addicts among those who can least afford it.
45 seconds.
Right, so, betting terminals.
- Yep.
- What damage they do.
Why they've not banned it.
I suppose the only "banned it" you hear in gambling is the one-armed bandit in the corner of the bookies.
Can we get Ruth up? Hiya, Ruth.
You all right? Hiya, Jen.
Pleased to meet you, Ruth.
You're welcome.
Actually we have met before.
I don't think she can hear me.
Yeah, I splashed shandy on her at the Pride of Britain Awards and she took it quite badly.
And from thereon, she disagreed with everything I've said.
- And we're back on in five - Weird.
four Time now to get some answers starting with why, if this technology is so addictive, betting chains haven't banned it.
Well, the only bandit you hear in gambling is the - one-armed bandit in the corner of a bookies.
- The one-armed bandit in the corner of a bookies.
- Snap.
- Indeed.
- You must be telepathic.
- Must be.
Ruth Duggan joins us from a Solihull bookmakers.
Ruth, a community ravaged by gambling and all down to one type of machine.
Well, not all.
It's important to emphasise that.
- But it has certainly played a large part, hasn't it? - That's right.
It's a contraption that some believe has caused a terrifying spike in gambling addiction.
Fixed odds betting machines.
Fixed odds betting terminals.
You'll find FOBTs in every bookie and each one takes hundreds of pounds a day.
And yet they so rarely pay out.
Well, actually, no.
They pay out almost every other spin.
Which is what makes them so addictive? - Exactly right.
- Okay.
So the debate now turns to how to discourage punters.
Starting with an outright ban.
- Well, not really.
- No-one is suggesting a ban as such.
But the white paper proposed a limit to the maximum bet.
That's it, exactly.
Meanwhile, whole communities are being ruined - and surely the Government has to see that.
- Absolutely.
Because the fallout has to be costing them money.
- Well, in actual fact, gambling makes the Government more - Okay.
through tax revenue than it costs it.
And the Treasury will be reluctant to lose that.
- Precisely, Jennie.
- Okay.
- So really, it's a - A tightrope? - a balancing act.
- Which is what a tightrope is.
- Well, Ruth, thank you - Ruth, this is a bad thing, right? It's complicated, certainly.
Okay, then, it's a significant thing.
Well, some say it's not treated as significant enough.
But, in your opinion, now it's, if nothing else, worthy of comment.
It's not nothing, it's something.
- Yes.
- Thank you! There'll be more from Ruth tomorrow.
- I'm off tomorrow.
- The day after, then.
Now imagine you're a business owner.
You open up one morning to find your business has been attacked.
Attacked by bedroom-based do-badders known as hacktivists.
In a moment, we'll be hearing from one of these digital agitators, but, first, who exactly do they target and what kind of damage do they do? Let's find out.
And we're off.
Right.
Hold on.
So you made a great - Going well, isn't it? - Not bad.
Do you think Paul McCartney's watching this? What do you think of Jennie? She seems nice.
That's twice she's pinched your joke.
She's trying to rob you of your strength.
- Like Delilah.
- Delilah? The slag from the Bible.
- Hello.
- Hi.
This is Lynn.
Mr Partridge's assistant.
I'm allowed to be here.
This is Jennie.
- I like your red top.
- Thank you.
I saw a lady wearing one just like that outside a train station.
She was enjoying a cigarette.
Her top matched her lipstick.
I think she was waiting for someone.
It's very pretty.
Stand by.
We're going in five - Bye.
- four And these keyboard warriors aren't even doing it for financial gain.
Yet why would someone spend time and effort on something that doesn't earn them money? Puzzled? Me too.
Here to tell more is one such hacktivist.
A bedroom Bolshevik with a bee in his bonnet.
Someone who doesn't lack the knack, or Mac, to hack or crack.
Let's put him on the rack.
I should warn you some viewers may find his appearance alarming.
- Good evening.
- Hello.
- And what would you like me to call you? - Whatever you want.
Neville.
Oh, Mickey.
Mickey, you are a cyber-terrorist.
That's still a terrorist.
The only people we disrupt are the 1%, the elite who control our financial assets, run our media, own our governments and that means disabling their networks to make people ask the big questions.
I'll ask the questions, if you don't mind.
You don't ask the big questions.
- The ones that make people feel uncomfortable.
- Want to bet? What is business for? How should we share resources? Do you know who this is? - Should I? - This is Edward Finton-Quayle.
I don't know where the hyphen goes.
It doesn't matter.
Last month, you claimed responsibility for hacking a major investment bank where his daddy works.
Thanks to you, he failed to achieve his bonus.
I'm not going to shed a tear.
He had a place ready at Charterhouse School, but, because of you, his parents can't afford to send him there.
Perhaps you'd like to apologise to him.
- Well, perhaps his dad should apologise for - Will you apologise? If you're asking me, do I feel I'm asking you will you apologise to Fintey? - No.
- Will you not apologise to Fintey? - Yes.
- All right, you understand the rule about double negatives.
So that's a draw.
You media just parrot the view of the elite and take pot shots at people prepared to stand up for something.
You're not the only one that stands up for things.
What have you ever stood up for? - Lots of things.
- Like what? The green belt.
I once stood up in front of a digger, like the student standing in front of the tank in Tiananmen Square, except instead of the Chinese Communist Party, it was the local council wanting to build some sort of leisure centre.
- Well, not on my watch.
- This is exactly what I'm talking about.
What have you actually done to make a difference? - Just taught people about hygiene.
- This isn't your main job.
You work for a local radio station owned by a media conglomerate.
That means you're the problem.
It's not even like it's worth your while.
You're on the third-lowest wage at North Norfolk Digital.
What? No, I'm not.
You're on two grand less than a guy called Wally Banter.
You hacked the finances of North Norfolk Digital? I didn't even think that was possible.
What, because your IT security's so great? No, because Janice does the accounts in exercise books.
Well, we did and surprise, surprise, another D-lister grubbing around in the media while professing to give a shit about the world.
Sorry to disappoint you, mate, but some of us are motivated by nothing more than a quest for the truth.
Thursday, 6:12 PM, you e-mailed Eamonn Holmes to say you'd got a guest presenting gig on BBC.
- Twelve exclamation marks.
- You hacked me? 6:15 PM, you e-mailed Lynn Benfield to say - "How much are BBC offering?" - Valid question.
6:20 PM, you googled "BBC presenter salary", at 6:22, you googled "John Inverdale salary", - 6:23 "John Inverdale wage".
- Mickey, this is wrong.
7:20, you e-mailed Sue Barker.
"Sue, guess who's back in the big time?" 7:22, you e-mailed Richard Hammond.
"Richard, guess who's back in the big time?" 7:23, you e-mailed Delia Smith.
"Delia, guess who's big in the back time?" Doesn't even make sense.
- I was typing fast.
- 7:26, you googled "This Time female presenter".
All right, all right.
At 7:50, you sent Facebook friend request to Jennie Gresham.
Mickey, please.
7:54, another message on Facebook, this time to Jennie Gresham.
All right, then, what if I wore a mask? Recognise him? My name's Gavin.
- I'm not anonymous any more.
- Where did you get that picture? Photocopied it from your guest pass and then stabbed holes in your eyes.
Take it off now or this interview's over.
Oh, look, this mouse seems to be squeaking.
Is that why you called me Mickey? It's a giraffe.
Oh, look, this giraffe seems to be winding his neck in.
I agreed to this interview on condition of anonymity.
- Squeak, squeak.
- And that has It's a giraffe! All right, then.
This is ridiculous.
That, I'm sorry, that's All right, I'm sorry.
Please finish the interview.
The interview is null and void because of you.
I will pursue you.
Guys, follow me.
I'm going off grid.
I'm going free-range, pursuing a chicken.
I will finish this.
I am still doing the interview.
I'm still doing the interview.
I am still Watch yourself there doing the interview.
Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? Will you finish the interview now, please? - Will you finish the interview - Can you press floor three? - What? - You're standing by the buttons.
Oh, yes, sorry.
Three.
Anyone else? Two, please.
Will you finish? Gosh, look.
Emily Matiss Emily Maitlis from BBC's - Newsnight.
- Newsnight.
Yep.
And just, I'm going to say, I'm a huge admirer of your technique.
You always strike just the right tone.
- Doors open.
- Tenacious without being aggressive.
Yes, that's exactly right.
Thank you.
Thanks.
And if I may say so, in the current gender climate, I think you bring a welcome touch of class to Newsnight.
I'll just leave it there.
That's nice of you.
Thank you.
I kind of do what you do.
I'm just interviewing this hacktivist.
He's trying to wriggle off the hook.
Really? Have you asked him why they're being funded by people with radically different political agendas, then? - Lift going down.
- Yes.
- No, you haven't.
- Haven't I? No.
I'm going to roll the dice here, - Emily.
Could I possibly have your e-mail? - No, I'm sorry.
I think this building is an architectural triumph.
- Ground floor.
- There, said it.
Just lets you breathe.
- Doors opening.
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
- That's okay.
- Well, that's all - Two, please.
- from This Time.
- Three, please.
- Next week on This Time - Six, please.
Six? - Five, please.
- John will be back.
Sorry? - Five, please.
- Five.
- Seven, please.
- Until next time on This Time, it's time to say we're out of time.
On This Time.
Goodnight.
Second floor.
Doors opening.
Lift going up.
- Floor eight, please.
- What? - Eight? - Eight.
Third floor.